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  • Dot and Bette trying and failing to cover up their mother's murder to Elsa by referencing the plot to Gaslight. Needless to say, she sees right through it.
    Elsa: Nice try, fraulein, but zat is zee plot of Gaslight. You’ll need anozer story for zee police officers, ja?
  • Although what follows is horrific, Twisty trying to charm a young girl with some deadish flowers is humorous given it is Twisty doing this.
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  • Dandy storms out of the dining room.
    Gloria: Where are you going?
    Dandy: I don't know. Maybe St. Petersburg where they have real caramel corn, not that cardboard they sell at the freak show!
  • Dandy's mother hiring some unusual entertainment. Namely, Twisty. Who is just randomly walking down the road.
    • When Twisty grows tried of Dandy, he comically pokes him the back of the head and walks out.
    • The look on Twisty's face when Gloria approaches him on the road with a job offer.
    • Also Twisty's bemused attitude as Dandy does the puppet theatre and tries to coax him into doing tricks. He seems to be thinking: "Why am I, a serial killing monster clown, getting weirded out by this little creep?"
  • After Jimmy tells Dandy to bug off, Dandy stomps out of the tent like a spoiled brat before he starts bashing his head against his car horn screaming "I HATE YOU!" repeatedly.
  • When the freaks are trying to figure out an act for the twins since Bette (the more enthusiastic twin) is tone deaf, Desiree makes a suggestion:
    Desiree: When me and Del were in Tijuana, we met this señorita who could shoot ping-pong balls out of her...*pop* *pop* *pop*
    Desiree: What? At least I'm coming up with ideas.
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  • How Jimmy convinces Elsa to get rid of Dell
    Jimmy: Look where he has you billed.
    (Elsa sees her name at the bottom, next to Meep)
    Elsa: He's got to go!
  • Stanley and Maggie's first con getting completely dismantled and their pitiful efforts to salvage it.
  • Elsa dismissing the carnies' superstitions about performing in Halloween as dumb... because she needs to practice for the career opportunity that a clairvoyant just predicted for her.
  • Gloria asks if Dora has practiced her Woody Woodpecker impression for Dandy's Halloween. The kicker is Dora's reaction to all of this batshit insanity.
    Gloria: It'll do in a pinch!
  • Ma Petite jumping out of a pumpkin to scare Amazon Eve, accompanied with Scare Chord. Immediately crosses over into Heartwarming Moments, with the both of them giggling happily and Eve tickling Ma Petite.
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  • Edward Mordrake bickering with his second face.
  • Twisty's reaction to Jimmy knocking out Dandy? Encourages the kids to clap along and laugh.
    • Not to mention his... interesting piano playing beforehand.
  • Dandy referring to Maggie as "tiny-tits".
  • For the closed captions of this episode, when Bonnie knocks Twisty over while making her second attempt at escape, the captions for Twisty's reaction display as "Twisted Clown squealing."
  • Then, of course, there's Dandy tripping over a rock while chasing his victims, prompting his most childish reaction yet as he cries and screams in frustration.
    Dandy: You ruined my HALLOWEEN! STUPID GIRL! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!"
  • Gloria and Dandy's exchange after she discovers that he murdered Dora. Not only did she not even acknowledge his attempt to cover it up, it was as though Dandy broke an expensive plate or something, rather than killing a person. The kicker is when Gloria sends Dandy to his room for murder. Actually, that whole scene is darkly hilarious.
    • Later, Gloria has gardeners dig an absurdly deep hole to hide Dora's corpse.
    Gardener: Mrs. Mott, you only need 18 inches for narcissus. We're at 12 feet.
    Gloria: These are special bulbs from Holland. Please do not question me!
  • A bit of a meta example, but the Irony in Elsa and Stanley's conversation about television vs. film is quite funny.
  • Dandy's American Psycho-esque self-aggrandizing inner monologue, featuring him monkeying about in his playroom wearing nothing but his underwear. Meanwhile, he thinks of himself as "Perfection!" and boasts that he's going to be "the U.S. Steel of murder." Cut to a few scenes later in which he does a very crude, awful job at killing his second victim.
  • A bit of Black Comedy: Dandy has just stabbed Andy (Matt Bomer's character) several times. After admiring his work for all of 10 seconds, Andy coughs up some blood and Dandy, exasperated, whines, "How come you're still alive?! You're making me feel bad! Stop it!"
  • Regina's phone conversation with Gloria ends like this:
    Regina: Mrs. Mott, I'm feeling really uncomfortable, so I'm going to go now.
    • And immediately after Gloria gets off the phone, she turns around and finds Dandy standing behind her in his underwear and covered in blood with a dopey look on his face. It's as funny as it is horrifying.
  • After the new maid drops off his platter, Dandy quips:
    Dandy: I liked Dora better.
    Gloria: Hindsight is 20/20.
  • Gloria reading Dot's diary entries about Dandy aloud to him as he cries.
    • Dandy's very passionate speech about his sociopathy immediately after has its moments.
    Dandy: The desert knows no mercy...
  • When Jimmy visits Mott Manor:
    Jimmy: I'm here to see your son. I'm a friend of his.
    Gloria: (matter-of-factly) My son has no friends.
  • Dandy's Insane Troll Logic to the storekeeper when he gets annoyed with Paul (who has extremely short arms).
    Dandy: He tried to pick my pockets.
    • Paul calmly proclaiming that he's just gonna do his shopping at another, better store in town. Then he very venomously spits on the front door window as he leaves.
  • Bette and Dot's very conflicting facial expressions during their date with Dandy.
  • Stanley trolling Dell about his hidden homosexuality as he blackmails him. Made even funnier since Stanley is also a closet homosexual.
    Stanley: (surprising Dell as he exits a trailer) Queer...
  • Dell and Jimmy coming home completely shitfaced and singing.
  • Despite "Blood Bath" being one of the darkest episodes, Gloria and Dandy have a couple of brilliant exchanges.
    Dandy: Do you think I'm sick, mother?
    Gloria: Of course not. You're spirited.
    • Later, in the middle of a dramatic confrontation:
    Dandy: You're no better than the Roosevelts.
  • Stanley's boytoy is... not the brightest bulb in the drawer. He has one line to rehearse and keeps flubbing it.
  • Dandy's reaction to Chester's past crimes: "What a sicko!"
  • Desiree's reaction to Chester literally sawing Maggie in half.
    Desiree: Take her jewelry. Then bury the bitch.
  • Chester tearfully turning himself in for the murder of his dummy, Marjorie.
    Chester: I did it. SEND ME TO THE CHAIR!
  • Dandy's reaction to receiving a Howdy Doody costume.
    Dandy: HOWDY DOODY!!!
  • In a Black Comedy fashion, Dandy's Dissonant Serenity, complete with humming a tune from The Nutcracker Suite, while gunning down all the freaks in the final episode. Even if that is more disturbing than funny, Dandy's rampage suddenly gets hit with Mood Whiplash midway through when he bangs his shin on a tentpole, and momentarily stumbles in pain.
  • Dandy's wedding to Bette in the finale is witnessed by his stuffed animals, complete with a giraffe in a bowtie.
  • It's Dark Humor considering the circumstances, but Dandy's Villainous Breakdown as he's drowned, culminating in his Famous Last Words:
    Dandy: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
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