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Fan Fic / I'm the Magicest

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"Being Mr. Vacan is suffering."
—T he quote used as the fanfic summary

I'm the Magicest is a fanfic written by Mr. Vacan, author of the Troll Fic Doukutsu Days. It is essentially an abridged re-telling of the Puella Magi Madoka Magica story, with the addition of Mr. Vacan, the first boy to make a contract with Kyubey, and more than a handful of Adaptation Distillation in many places.

Like Doukutsu Days, much of the humor in this fanfic is dependent on absurd events and unexpected dialogue, but lacks the myriad spelling errors of the former.


The fic was deleted some time ago, but the author has since reposted it here, along with a new sequel covering Puella Magi Madoka Magica the Movie: Rebellion here. A playlist of the fic narrated by Lord Starfish can be found here.

I'm the Magicest provides examples of:

  • A-Cup Angst: A second-hand variation. When Charlotte pokes Mami's chest with ice cream cones to deflate it, Madoka's confidence is crushed.
  • Briefcase Blaster: Mr. Vacan gets a briefcase flamethrower as part of his magical boy emsemble.
  • Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": Within the story, Soul Gems are called "gumballs", and Grief Seeds are called "jellybeans".
  • Doomsday Device: Homura tries to build one to defeat Brazil Nut. It fires a rubber duck.
  • Gesundheit: The response to any mention of the name "Walpurgisnacht". The witch's actual name is Brazil Nut.
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  • Magical Girl ...and Boy: When Mr. Vacan expresses interest in making a contract with Kyubey, he states that he's never tried doing so with a boy, but tries anyway because he is so willing.
  • Mistaken for Prank Call: Madoka tries to call her mother for advice, while she is away in America, but she ends up calling Moe's Tavern, with predictable results. Madoka wasn't used to dialing numbers on a rotary phone.
  • Mundane Wish: Mami warns Mr. Vacan that as he is only allowed one wish, he should avoid wishing for "something stupid, like a new toothbrush." So Mr. Vacan wishes for something more... two new toothbrushes.
    • In the last chapter, after "Brazil Nut" (Walpurgisnacht) is defeated, Madoka wishes for a plate of nachos in celebration.
  • My Future Self and Me: Sort of; it's more "My Alternate Timeline Self and Me". A clumsier Homura of another timeline had apparently traveled to the current Homura's timeline by accident. She also summons two Homuras from other timelines.
  • Read the Freaking Manual: A dialog box containing the terms and conditions appears when Kyubey contracts with Mr. Vacan. He agrees without reading, while Mami comments that nobody ever reads them.
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  • The One Guy: Mr. Vacan, as a magical boy.
  • Onion Tears: While Kyoko shares her tragic backstory, she begins to cry; at this point she is taking a bite from an onion.
  • Other Me Annoys Me: Homura doesn't get along with her hipster timeline counterpart. They still co-operate in the final battle.
  • Unexplained Accent: Sayaka doesn't have one here. She has five, over the course of the story; the changes occur whenever she goes unconscious and/or gets hit on the head.

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