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Accidental Innuendo / Harry Potter

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The Books

  • "... could see Draco banging his goblet on the table. It was a sickening sight." The Italian translation managed to keep the double-entendre.
    • Yet another bit of seemingly innocent British slang:
    "It's my rat" he told the witch...
    "Bang him on the counter".
  • Prisoner of Azkaban opens with a scene in which Harry secretly plays with his wand in bed, and has to tell his aunt that no, he's not playing with his wand. As Cleolinda Jones put it "Ummmm..." "I KNOW!"
  • The name of Nymphadora Tonks. "Tonker" being a word popularized by Discworld for a certain part of the anatomy, and "Nymphadora" sounding terribly similar to the word "nymphomania". Lampshaded by Tonks herself; she hates her first name.
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  • "People may be forced to conclude that Grindelwald simply conjured a white handkerchief from the end of his wand and came quietly." Though given what Rowling later revealed about Grindelwald and Dumbledore...
  • "He pushed the door ajar and peered inside - and a horrible scene met his eyes. Snape and Filch were inside, alone. Snape was holding his robes above his knees."
  • "Does he still think I entered myself?"
  • There are at least two online lists of accidental innuendo in the books as put together by fans. One example (for books 3 and 5).
  • "Was... was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use his - his thing?"
  • "I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago —" "He was asking for it," snarled Dudley.
  • The chant "HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF, HE GOT OFF!", especially since Mrs. Weasley is wiping her face as they're chanting.
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  • Lupin let go of Black and turned to her. She had raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Lupin, wild-eyed.
    "You— you—"
    "—you and him!"
    "Hermione, calm down—"
    "I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you—"
    "Hermione, listen to me, please!" Lupin shouted. "I can explain—"
  • "... when it [The Room Of Requirement] appears, it is always equipped for the seeker's needs. Dobby has used it, sir," said the elf, dropping his voice and looking guilty, "when Winky has been very drunk."
  • Malfoy was screaming and holding Harry so tightly it hurt.
  • Describing Viktor Krum's wand: "Rather thicker than one usually sees... quite rigid... ten and a quarter inches...". Then there's
    "... You treat it regularly?"
    "Polished it last night," said Cedric, grinning.
    Harry hooked down at his own wand. He could see finger marks all over it. He gathered a fistful of robe from his knee and tried to rub it clean surreptitiously. Several gold sparks shot out of the end of it. Fleur Delacour gave him a very patronizing look, and he desisted.
  • In Chamber of Secrets, Percy's non-explanation to the trio about how Ginny walked in on him masturbating masturbating masturbating kissing his girlfriend.
    • The quote is: "Well, er, if you must know, Ginny, er, walked in on me the other day when I was - well, never mind - the point it, she spotted me doing something and I, um, asked her not to mention it to anybody."
  • "[Harry] contented himself with scrawling a note to Ron: Let's do it tonight. Ron read the message, swallowed hard, and looked sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione."
  • "... another person was panting and coughing and staggering around. Hermione had come again, as she had come when the snake attacked..."
  • "'Snape!' ejaculated Slughorn, who looked the most shaken, pale and sweating."
  • "I need to see what Malfoy is doing inside you...I need to see what Malfoy is doing inside you..."
  • From HBP we have Professor Trelawney describing Snape as a "pushing, thrusting young man who was prepared to listen at keyholes."
  • "You mean we're not allowed to use magic!" Ron ejaculated loudly.
  • "All the girls around Cho began doing it."
  • "Was he ever inside the Lestranges' vault?"
  • "Sanguini, stay here!" Added Worple, suddenly stern, for the vampire had been edging towards the nearby group of girls, a rather hungry look in his eye.
  • One of the Divination books in "The Prisoner of Azkaban" was called "Broken Balls: When Fortune Turns Foul".
  • The whole scene of Krum attacking Cedric.
    • "Harry dashed over to Cedric, who stopped twitching, and was lying there panting, his hands on his face."
    • "'Yeah,' panted Cedric. 'Yeah... I don't believe it... he crept up behind me... I heard him, I turned round, and he had his wand on me'"
    • "'I can't believe this... I thought he was alright,' Harry said, staring at Krum."
    • "'Did you hear Fleur scream earlier' 'Yeah. You don't think Krum got her, too?'"
  • The Finnish translation is about as rife with this as the originals, but special mention goes to Goblet of Fire, since the Finnish word for "egg" (as in golden egg, an important plot item) happens to be a synonym for the male... "wand".
  • A great deal of Accidental Innuendo consistently surrounds the Chamber of Secrets. The fact Harry enters the big cavernous, chamber with a wand and a sword. To top it off, the only times anyone goes into the chamber, it is one of the Official Couples (Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione).

The Movies

  • Bellatrix pushing Hermione up against a wall, bringing her face very close to Hermione's.
  • Snape slamming Malfoy against the wall followed by Malfoy saying "I don't need protection!"
  • "Engorgio!" "Reducio! Reducio!" "What are you doing in there?"
  • There's an interview with Tom Felton where we get this beautiful exchange:
    Interviewer: So tell me about your one-on-one with good old Daniel in the bathroom.
    Tom: Yeah, it sounds so wrong, every time you say it, "Oh, me and Daniel had a wand fight in the bathroom."
  • The fact that Oliver Wood was played by the actor Sean Biggerstaff.


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