Video Game: Tales of the Drunken Paladin
A few years ago, in the entirely fictional kingdom
of Maine, a political band of foreign diplomats, known as They, seized control of the throne and began manipulating the current king in power. Plundering Maine's rich economy, this mysterious organization was eventually found out and expedited viciously by a small force of totally radical warriors, chief among them the protagonist of our story: Anebriate.
Anebriate is a paladin. He's also drunk most of the time. One morning he finds out that his house is being foreclosed upon, even though he's rich (which absolutely has nothing to do with the fortune stolen from They
). On the way, he gets "kicked in the head by a moose
" and forgets everything that has happened in the last few years.
However, he does remember that he's hungry, and heads to Larry's bar. During his visit, the bar is set ablaze by a hitman, and Anebriate, teaming up with a cardinal named Palmer (and Emma
), is forced to trek through the monster-infested Labyrinth beneath the bar to get some help. Returning to the bar, our heroes discover that the patrons escaped through a backdoor
, and Anebriate begins his search for the person that had set Larry's on fire...Tales of the Drunken Paladin
is an RPG Maker
game, which is a unique adventure filled with hilarious moments
. Ignore everything you know about RPGs. Typical potions are replaced with alcoholic beverages, swords are useless and boring, and save points are replaced with Mystical Save Hobos.
The first expansion to the game, Big Trouble in Little China, Maine
, continues the story from where it left off at the end of the original game. This time, Anebriate and friends must head to Webber's
hometown of China, Maine, where strange things are afoot.
The second and final expansion, named Hobotropolis
, was released in November of 2011. Palmer and Robert drag Anebriate off to a holiday in the Save Realm, to the fabled Hobotropolis
. After the events of the previous expansion, the realm is in chaos and is being held together in the tenuous but tyrannical grip of Groobs.
The author is currently making a Darker and Edgier
sequel starring Karla and Robert, along with a new cast of playable characters.
The official site can be found here.
Tropes found in this game:
- Absurdly Sharp Blade: Emma's choice of weapons.
- Action Commands: On newer patches, The Old One will deal unblockable damage unless the player presses the arrow keys in the right sequence.
- Action Girl: Emma and Karla.
- The Alcoholic: Anebriate.
- Ambidextrous Sprite: Averted with Anebriate, whose character sprite always has his spear in his right hand. It doesn't show up if you're facing left or up.
- An Axe to Grind: Webber.
- A Taste of Power: Anebriate starts the game as a walking god of combat, as Mechanicor learns the hard way. A whack on the head and some poison turn him into a wuss for the rest of the game.
- Badass Preacher: Palmer is physically the strongest character in the game, and he's a Cardinal in the Church. Only the Pope ranks higher.
- Batman Gambit: Theodore pulls one on Groobs, various rebel factions, and Anebriate in order to ensure the fall of the Big Bad.
- Bears Are Bad News: Interfecio Ursus and Moon Bear.
- Blade on a Stick: Anebriate's choice of weapons.
- Big "NO!": This happens to some of the characters over the course of the game.
- Blow You Away: A few of Dave's secret moves are like this.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall:
Anebriate: "Allow me to break the fourth wall for a moment. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES TO MAKE THESE OBJECTS INTERACTIVE? YEARS, MAN. APPRECIATE THIS SHIT.
- Can't Argue with Elves: In the Save Realm, almost all the hobos have a sense of superiority that they constantly flaunt over little Anebriate (not that he's the greatest example that humans have to offer.) Averted in one glorious instance where his epic verbal ripping apart of one particularly callous hobo and her "higher" society throws all of the hypocrisy of her attitude in her face.
- Chainsaw Good: Well, it's effective against bears and can be equipped by everybody but anything else receives little damages from it.
- Combat Medic: Anebriate, whose secret moves involves mostly healing and curing status as well as a few offense attacks.
- Compensating for Something: When Anebriate expresses his preference of spears over swords because spears are bigger, a kids tells him if he's compensating for something. Anebriate calls on the kids' immaturity.
- Curbstomp Battle: What happens to Mechanicor in the first part of the game.
- Damage Over Time: There are several different statuses that do this, but Giant Slayer tends to bypass Contractual Boss Immunity more than the others because it only deals 2%.
- Dark Is Not Evil: Though she uses spooky spells, Emma is not evil and quite nice.
- Deadpan Snarker: Damn near everyone at one point or another.
- Death Seeker: Old Man Mace
- Difficulty Levels: After beating Hobotropolis, examining the mirror in Anebriate's bedroom allows players to start a new game on Hard Mode. On Hard Mode, bosses gain new skills and tricks to complement their old ones, forcing players to change their usual strategies.
- Downloadable Content: Big Trouble in Little China, Maine, and Hobotropolis.
- Drop the Hammer / An Axe to Grind: Webber.
- Dug Too Deep: The reason why Lewiston has a problem with the Deep Crow
- Elemental Crafting: Heavy Metal is weaker than Bronx which is weaker than Cold Steel and Black Rocks. Meteor Shards are superior to all.
- Everythings Better With Ninjas: King Steve is a ninja. He'll kick your head off for littering.
- Foreshadowing: Combined with Tempting Fate.
Anebriate: "Why is it that everything we encounter turns into a shit-hole? What's next? Giant whales and hippie tribes!?"
- Fun with Acronyms:
- S.O.A.P: The SCYTHE OF AWESOME POWER!
- The Foundation Against Information Loss
- Genre Savvy: Despite having amnesia, Anebriate is pretty on the ball on what to expect in an upcoming dungeon. He usually approaches the situation with a lot of snark.
- Glass Cannon: Greg. His normal attack deals fairly high unblockable (mostly) damage. His Critical Pitch move can increase anyone's critical rate by a large margin, including his. In Hobotropolis, he will fall in one hit of nearly every single-target attack, having about half the HP and vitality of everyone else. Fortunately he can also greatly buff his own evasion, reducing the glassiness a little.
- Emma becomes this if she uses Professor Meowmers (raises attack, speed, and spirit but defense drops).
- God-Mode Sue: In-Universe. Anebriate, at the beginning of the game, starts out nigh invincible with an attack the deals thousands of points in damage and a ridiculously powerful healing spell ...Then he loses his memory, and with it all of his power disappears, and he is reduced to extremely weak spells and attacks until he levels up sufficiently.
- Great Escape: Happens soon after getting locked up by Groobs. It succeeds for two reasons: Les Collaborateurs and because the guards didn't realise that they had to take away everyone's weapons (they hadn't done prison work before, you understand). It's so ineffective that Robert manages to engineer his own accidental escape.
- Guide Dang It: Recruiting Emma and Albert.
- For Emma, you have to scrounge every corner of the First Town for every scrap of gold you can find, not spend any of it on items or gear, and then when you have all the gold you can find in the town, you must spend all of it on a ludicrously expensive book. Anebriete even lampshades how buying a book shouldn't be this complicated. Oh, and you have to do all this before you enter Larry's. You can still recruit her after Larry's, though immediate recruitment is needed to max her Relationship Values.
- For Albert, you have to talk to a random NPC at night to even start his sidequest.
- Heroes Prefer Swords: Well, Emma likes rapiers but Anebriate seems to think swords are utterly boring.
- Hulk Speak: Webber.
- Idiot Hero: Anebriate is really, really slow sometimes.
- Improbable Weapon User: A surprising lack of odd weapons given the type of game it is. The most relevant example is the umbrella - the Save Wraiths' only weakness.
- Informed Attribute: If Albert is in the active party, there's a girl in Gardiner who claims that Albert has a voice of a thousand angels. However at that point, Albert never speaks and is believed to be a mute.
- Inn Security: In Bowdoin, Archibald shows up in the middle of the night.
- Insistent Terminology: In a conversation between Ugarr and Anebriate, Ugarr keeps insisting that he's wearing fighting pants while Anebriate insists on calling them underwear.
- An earlier example is in Litchfield, where Palmer keeps telling Anebriate that his weapon is a cane not a stick.
- I Take Offense to That Last One:
Old Man Cheever: "In my day, we had respect for the REAL adventurers, not a bunch of soft-headed, slack-jawed, pudgy clowns!"
Anebriate: "Hey! I'm not pudgy!"
- Jack of All Stats: Anebriate. He has good HP, MP, attack damage and has both healing and offensive spells. He's only good for healing/resurrecting, since other characters surpass him in the rest of attributes (for example, Deemer's spells do more damage, Emma has higher attack power, etc)
- Jerkass: Palmer and the Save Hobo who acts like this to Anebriate for most of Book III. Anebriate is one to the Hobo in return. He eventually back-talks so much to the hobo that he quits his job and is replaced by another hobo who threatens something unspeakable to Anebriate if he doesn't shut up and just cooperate.
- Kleptomaniac Hero Found Underwear: Anebriate can get Emma's if you search through her stuff.
- Late To The Realization:
Karla: Zhat is correct, paladin. But zhat is not even zhe peculiar zhing. After zhat, zhe man stood up and valked avay.
Anebriate: Wait, wait wait... did you just say "valked?"
Karla: ... Yes, he valked avay. Zhat is vhat I zaid.'
Anebriate: HOW DID I JUST NOTICE YOUR ACCENT?
- Leaked Experience
- Lightning Bruiser: Robert has above average AGI and DEF growth even without distributing AP. If you concentrate most of his AP into ATK, he’ll actually deal more damage over time than Palmer and Webber thanks to his Arrow Storm skill.
- Magic Knight: Emma, with a much greater emphasis on the knight part - strange for someone whose class is Warlock. Her magic seems to be almost entirely devoted to strengthening her physical attacks.
- Making a Splash: A couple of Deemer's secret moves are this.
- Mad Scientist: Dr. Weird asks Anebriate to hunt down a potato, a chicken, and a cow in a side quest. Yes, there are monsters you must actually defeat for this.
- Marathon Boss: Some of the post-Hobotropolis Bonus Bosses have over 100000 HP, which can take a while to deplete even for a properly leveled party. The Frost Dragon and the Moon Bear also have defensive/healing phases to drag out an already long fight.
- Master of None: Thanks to the way the AP system works, it is better to concentrate AP into one stat than to spread AP among multiple stats.
- Mistaken for Gay: Dave. He steered Anebriate into thinking this in one conversation he has. He's actually talking about hermit crabs the whole time though.
- Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Every name on the list in the building next to the docks in Gardiner... except Dave.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The defeat of the Big Bads of Big Trouble in Little China is the direct cause of the conflict in Hobotropolis.
- Nice Guy: Dave is willing enough to give Anebriate and the others a ride on his boat for free.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Numerous examples.
- In Bowdoin is a gang called the Jets. Lead by their leader, Bennie.
- The tavern in Lewiston has three women moping in the corner about their own problems.
- Outside of China is a man named Nock Churris. After helping him out with a small dilemma, he flies off to attack the moon.
- No Indoor Voice: WEBBER.
- As well as Barnaby Jones, Dr. Weird, and Mechanicor for the most part.
- Non-Standard Game Over: If you manage to beat George Washington instead of convincing him to go away, the universe will collapse and force a game over screen.
- Nun Too Holy: Despite being a priest, Palmer's hobbies include beating old people and children as well as being misogynistic though the last part was reversed when they are in Augusta.
- Optional Boss: Many. Most notorious is the potato.
- Optional Party Member: Lampshaded in regards to Emma and Albert. If you recruited them, then whenever either of them speaks up in a cutscene, sometimes another party member will say something along the lines of "Wait, who are you again?"
- Olympus Mons: After beating Hobotropolis, the Child of the Cosmos can be tamed as a racing ram.
- The Paladin: averted with Anebriate. He may be a knight with holy/healing powers, and is even referenced as such, but his main interests are drinking booze and doing nothing.
- Party in My Pocket
- Peninsula of Power Leveling: Once you get to the Save Realm, you can beat a dojo and can rechallenge the dojo master until a certain point in the Hobotropolis arc. After each rematch, you get a good amount of EXP and get healed fully to boot.
- Picky Eater: Anebriate enjoys drinking every type of beverage, alcoholic or not, except for wine and tea. Those are for pussies.
- However, this doesn't stop him from stealing the communion wine in a church.
- Playing with Fire: Deemer has a few secret moves on this.
- Point Build System: The Brownie Points each character gets when leveling up.
- The Psycho Rangers: Corpse versions of Anebriate, Palmer, Steve, and others.
- Rare Candy: The various potions you get after brewing flowers.
- Really Gets Around: As the name implies, Been-Around-Betty.
- The Rival: Antoxicate to Anebriate. The music from Blue plays whenever you meet him.
- Running Gag: When Webber gets mad, he'll threaten to do many violent acts to his aggressor. AND PUNCH HIS FACE.
- Sdrawkcab Alias: Evets Gnik, a patron in a Hobotropolis diner. Unfortunately, there are no sidequests to elaborate on this.
- Shaggy Dog Story: After going through the annoyingly long Larry's Labyrinth in order to get outside and save the patrons of the bar, they discover that all of the patrons of the bar escaped through a backdoor while they were trekking through. In fact, having to go through the dungeon is one of the reasons why they're going after the one who tried to burn down Larry's.
- Sheathe Your Sword: The wolf in the Bowdoin caves and the Gold Ram require you to survive for several turns without damaging them in order to complete their sidequests.
- Shock and Awe: Anebriate has a few secret moves based on this.
- She's Not My Girlfriend: How Anebriate and Emma interact sometimes. For example, when they meet Karla, she asks Emma if Anebriate is her lover, to which Emma says that he's more of an "adventure partner". But when Karla asks if Anebriate is available, Emma replies with a loud "NO!!".
- If You've racked up enough Relationship Values points with Emma, Emma instead calmly states that it could be said that Anebriate and her are lovers, although she still hesitates to use the term
- Shmuck Bait: There's a barrel you can examine at one point where Anebriate tells you that you can activate God Mode by entering in the Konami Code in the time he gives you afterward.
- Don't examine that basket of potatoes until you're stronger. The potato will end you.
- Spoony Bard: Greg has all of Edward's durability and speed but much more power.
- Stone Wall: Anebriate has a much higher health and defense than the other party members. Karla even more than that.
- Strong Family Resemblance: Webber looks exactly like his own mother. Including the beard and helmet. Except that Webber doesn't wear makeup.
- Not to mention that Webber's father also looks like him only his beard is black.
- Despite not having face art like her parents and brother, Webber's sister Webber-Anne looks kind of like Webber only her outfit is pink.
- Third-Person Person: Webber doesn't know what personal pronouns are. Seriously.
- Those Two Bad Guys: The warden and the jailor of Hobotropolis prison, for the short time they appear on-screen.
- The Dreaded: A good portion of the Super Castle dialogue is about how George Washington will brutally murder the party, to the point where he is exponentially more threatening than King Steve.
- The Maze: Larry's Labyrinth is one, though surprisingly, most of the other dungeons are more straightforward.
- The Bonus Dungeon, Brunswick Valley, is even bigger and twistier than Larry's.
- The Voiceless: Albert is this, crossing over to The Silent Bob in an occasion or two.
- Token Evil Teammate: Greg, to the point where you can choose to ditch his side.
- Violin Scam: Can be performed by the player at one point, if you know what is going to happen (i.e. have played the game before or read the walkthrough). A man offers to sell you mystery items at ever-increasing outrageous prices, the last one is an apparently worthless trinket, which he then mocks you for. However it's actually an important item for a sidequest, when it and the other pieces are collected you can exchange them for more money than you paid the con artist, as well as a very good weapon.
- Whip It Good: Dave's choice of weapons.
- Worf Effect: Mace managed to beat Washington twice.
- Worf Had the Flu: Mechanicor only lost his second battle because he was too winded from swimming several miles in heavy armor.
- Worthless Yellow Rocks: Gold to Save Hobos, who value stones more. To emphasize, their entire slum sector is made entirely from gold. In one sidequest, they even reverse a human's formula to transmute rock into gold.
- Worthy Opponent: Mace and Washington to each other.