Here's lookin' through you, kid.
(a feather is seen drifting along a breeze, accomapnied by light orchestral music; it lands in a suitcase placed next to the Crypt Keeper, who is holding a box of chocolates and seated on a park bench, dressed as Forrest Gump)
Crypt Keeper: (in Forrest's accent) Hello. How are you? I'm Fearest Gump. (the camera pans right to reveal Alfred Hitchcock sitting next to him; he offers his chocolate box to him, revealing that it contains severed human body parts) Hi. Care for a shock-olate? (Hitchcock briefly looks at him, then turns away) You sure? Mummy always said: "Life is like a box of shock-olates. You never know what you're gonna get. Sometimes you get a fudge-scream, sometimes you get no-guts." (a man walks past the camera as he turns to the viewers) Know what else mummy said? She said: "Scary is as scary does." Which brings to mind the man in tonight's terror tale. He's just dying to get out of the mess he's in... (in his normal voice) literally! (cackles) It's a little piece of horrid candy I call: You, Murderer.
Lou Spinelli, once upon a time, was a wanted criminal who managed to escape from prison. Lou went to his accomplice and best friend, Dr. Oscar Charles, to get plastic surgery as a means to disguise his identity. Now resembling Humphrey Bogart, Lou has reinvented himself into a legitimate businessman, even having found love in his assistant, Erica. During a busy meeting, Lou receives a very concerning call from Betty, his ex-wife from his old life, who reveals that she knows what Lou's game is after surviving an assassination attempt Lou and Oscar put together, and how she's calling the police to tell them everything. Lou storms her place, only to realize that the whole thing was a trap set up by Betty and Oscar, who have hooked up and plan to kill Lou to get him out of the way. Their plan fails, but they still kill Lou in the process, who is somehow still able to feel, see, and hear everything around him while dead. As Erica gets suspicious about what happened to Lou, the bumbling Oscar and Betty try their damndest to get rid of his body, while Lou is unable to do anything about it.
Tropes:
- Actor Allusion: Many, considering that the lead is played by a computer-generated Humphrey Bogart.
- And I Must Scream: This episode is shown completely from the point-of-view of our protagonist, even when he dies half-way into the story. The thing is, he's stuck in his body afterwards, but no one can hear him, and he can still feel pain. Only that last one is of any concern to him (mainly because he finds it annoying), as he has the unfolding story to concern himself with and narrate.
- Assuming that this is the fate that awaits everyone when they die, Oscar and Betty have it much worse, as they're crushed under the car they drove to the property where they're digging Lou's grave.
- Anti-Hero: In a rare instance of the trope for this show, Lou is one. He narrates that in spite of the fact he was a wanted criminal who has robbed, cheated, and even killed many people, he expresses hefty remorse for his shady past and is genuinely trying to put it behind him. He excuses himself for going into the life of crime by explaining that the neighborhood he grew up in had required people to do whatever they had to do to survive, "whether it was legal or not." Ever since he got off the streets, he's built up a large business, paid his taxes, did charity work, and honestly tried to be a good citizen. He's one of the very, VERY few amoral characters who is actually portrayed as sympathetic on the show, to the point where even the Crypt Keeper feels sorry for him... in his own way, of course.
- Armor-Piercing Response: Lou was in good spirits during the company meeting and when told he had a call from Oscar. Then he heard who was really on the other end. It even gets a Scare Chord to demonstrate why it's going to rattle Oscar.Lou: Oscar?
Betty: No, Lou, it's Betty! - Ascended Fanboy: Alfred Hitchcock briefly "appears" on the Crypt Keeper's bench in the intro. After the story, the Crypt Keeper tells Alfred that he's big fan of his and offers to let him tell a story of his own. By this point, Hitchcock's been reduced to a skeleton after being pecked to death by birds.
- Awful Wedded Life: Lou's marriage to Betty, who he outright calls a monster, was shown to be miserable, as she rebukes him over everything he does.
- Betty and Veronica: The aptly-named Betty to Lou's lover Erica (the Veronica) over Lou himself (the Archie).
- Big "YES!": Oscar, when Betty shoots Erica.
- Bittersweet Ending: Lou and Erica are still dead by the end of the story, but they at least got to take Oscar and Betty with them. Oh, and there's also no afterlife when you die, only being stuck in your corpse while being able to see and feel everything.
- Call It Karma: Lou muses that the ordeal that he's being put through is either "karma at work", or proof that "God has a sense of humor."
- Card-Carrying Villain: Betty, Lou's bitch of an ex-wife, is able to lie, kill, and crack jokes. He outright calls her "The Comic from Hell."
- Celebrity Impersonator: To accentuate the Bogart references made throughout the episode, Lou's narration is performed by Robert Sacchi, the renowned Bogart impersonator.
- Celebrity Resemblance: Numerous references are made to the fact that Lou has Humphrey Bogart's face after plastic surgery, to the point where Lou himself brings up the comparison. The references range from Bogart's films to Lou's inner monologue being spoken in a fascimile of his voice. The coroners loading Lou's body into a body bag even remark that they've seen his face before.
- Cessation of Existence: Lou's fate is a partial case of this. He is killed by being bashed in the head, but after seeing a bright light, he goes right back to his apartment, where he's still able to see and feel everything around him. While it's not hinted what the source of this phenomenon is, it's implied that this is the fate that awaits everyone who dies.
- Chekhov's Gun: Lou is disarmed in his apartment, and Betty slips the weapon under her skirt. She later uses the same gun to kill Erica.
- *Click* Hello: Lou spots Oscar seemingly lying dead on the floor, and gets a gun in his face just as he tries to wake him up.
- Conditioned to Accept Horror: During the drive to the property where his makeshift grave lies, Lou notes that while he's not quite used to being dead, he's seeing a pattern and overall treating it with a lot less fear than expected.
- Crapsack World: The episode is set in a world full of adulterers, double-crossers, and just plain awful people. The cherry on top is that when you die, there's no afterlife. You're doomed to be stuck inside your own corpse, able to see and feel everything that happens to you after clinical death.
- Crazy-Prepared: Betty and Oscar have been working together to get the drop on Lou for a while before the story began.
- Creature of Habit: Betty reminds Lou that he's pretty predictable, planning the apartment ambush in advance.
- Credits Gag: To go with the amount of references to Lou's altered face, Humphrey Bogart is actually given top billing for the episode, making this one of the first times, if not the only time, that an actor has been given top billing after they died.
- Deadly Doctor: Lou's accomplice Oscar is a plastic surgeon who gave Lou his Bogart-esque face. He's also hinted to have connections with hitmen and has been having sex with Betty behind Lou's back for nearly a year, attempting to kill Lou so he and Betty can be happy together.
- Death by Irony: Lou manages to get posthumous revenge on Betty and Oscar when the former accidentally severs his spine, causing him to fall on the parking brake, put his car in drive, and runs them down with it, pinning them in the grave they had dug for him.
- Didn't See That Coming: Erica was in the room, when Lou got the phone that was said to be from Oscar and immediately left afterwards. Oscar finds this out when trying to convince her that Lou just up and disappeared, and it takes him a moment to come up with a cover.
- Digital Head Swap: This is how Bogie's face winds up on Lou's body, compliments of Industrial Light & Magic.
- Disposing of a Body: After their suicide plan fails, Betty and Oscar make up a new plan where Lou supposedly disappeared to escape the police, then bury his corpse in a shallow grave in a property he bought in the hills. Given that the whole episode is shown from Lou's POV, we're shown Betty and Oscar dragging and hiding his body by his feet for these scenes.
- Dissonant Serenity: Lou's first thought after Oscar reveals to Betty that he's dead?Lou: Well, ain't that a kick in the ass?
- He keeps up the snarky commentary as Betty and Oscar lug him around trying to get rid of him.
- "Eureka!" Moment: Lou, when he realizes that the drink Oscar gave him was poisoned.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Oscar still calls Lou his best friend as he holds him at gunpoint, and attempts to make Lou kill himself by drinking poison, claiming that his best friend deserves a quick death.
- "Everyone Dies" Ending: All four main characters are dead by the end of the episode, and if Lou's experience is anything to go by, they're all stuck in their corpses, able to experience everything that happens to the body.
- Everyone Has Standards: Wanted criminal or not, Lou shows that he has some serious scruples, such as balking at the idea of Oscar hiring hitmen to kill his wife.
- Lou also expresses shame with Oscar after he double-crosses him, saying that it's one thing for a man's wife to betray him, but a best friend betraying him is truly disappointing.
- Eyes Never Lie: Lou and Erica were having an affair. Betty figures it out because of how worried Erica looked when talking about Lou's disappearance, later insisting to Oscar that she could see it in the woman's eyes.
- Faking the Dead: Oscar plays possum as Lou investigates his apartment, getting the drop on him with his own gun.
- Femme Fatale: Betty, who rebukes Lou at every opportunity and has been cheating on him with his accomplice for nearly a year, planning to kill him just for the hell of it.
- First-Person Smartass: Given that he's an expy of Bogart, Lou's ever present narration keeps getting pretty snarky, even after he dies.
- Flashback: In the first of many black-and-white scenes, Lou recalls talking to Oscar about the plastic surgery he wanted, as well as Betty learning who he really was. He later recalls his atrocious marriage to Betty and his passionate affair with Erica.
- Foreshadowing: Oscar telling Betty not to let Lou rile her up, which comes back to haunt them when she freaks out and she bashes Lou's head in, bungling their plans for the phony suicide.
- Formula-Breaking Episode: The entire episode is shown from the main character's point of view, being the one of only two episodes to employ such a gimmick.
- For the Evulz: Lou guesses that Betty and Oscar plan to kill him for monetary gain, invoking that he has a life insurance policy under his name, and they won't get any money if he kills himself. Betty says that she and Oscar don't care about the policy, admitting that there's "no point in being greedy", and reveal that they want to kill Lou just because.
- The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: Given how Lou's monologuing talks directly to the viewers, and how the end of the episode seemingly proves that there's only the eternal sensation of seeing and feeling while stuck in your own corpse in lieu of heaven or hell, Lou slowly slips into madness, telling the viewers that they'll find that out for themselves, soon enough...
- Go into the Light: After his head is bashed in with a marble statuette, Lou sees a white light and admits he felt rather peaceful in that moment. But then the light went away, and he found himself stuck in his dead body, able to observe everything around him and still feel whatever happens to his body. In the end, he muses that there is no light, and this might be the fate that awaits everyone.
- Hate Sink: Betty, Lou's wife from his days as a criminal, who would rebuke and demean him for everything he did, good or bad, and has been cheating on Lou with his accomplice, working together to take him out of the picture, just for the hell of it.
- Heel–Face Turn: Lou's backstory states that he was a wanted criminal who spent years evading the law and doing time. After his surgery, he genuinely changed and tried to make up for his shady past.
- Heel Realization: Lou notes that he's had a number of run-ins with the law and did hard time, before he finally realized that a living life of crime was a sucker's game.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Betty and Oscar leave Lou in the passenger seat of his car as they dig his grave. Erica gets the drop on them, but Betty shoots her when she's distracted. However, the bullet goes right through her and hits Lou, severing his spine. His body comes down on the parking brake, causing the car to move and flatten Betty and Oscar.
- Homage: To Humphrey Bogart's movies, which are referenced numerous times throughout the story.
- Hope Spot: Lou manages to get Oscar's gun away from him and is about to kill him, but Betty bashes him in with the statuette.
- Hot Pursuit: Lou is said to have been persued by every police department in the state for his long rap sheet.
- How We Got Here: The story begins with Lou sitting dead in his car, staring at a side mirror. Lou's narration soon kicks in, explaining how things came to this.
- Hypocrite: Betty is utterly disgusted that Lou (the ex-husband she despised and ultimately killed) was having an affair with his assistant Erica, despite her own ongoing affair with his plastic surgeon and former best friend Oscar.
- I Did What I Had to Do: Lou says that he became a criminal because he grew up in a neighborhood that required this kind of attitude to survive.
- Improbable Aiming Skills: In the process of shooting Erica, Betty's bullet goes right through her and severs Lou's spine, allowing his body to come down on the car's parking brake and flatten her and Oscar.
- Indy Ploy: With their plan to frame Lou's death as a suicide failed, Betty suggests to Oscar disposing of the body and making it look like he just disappeared.
- Inner Monologue: Lou's is heard constantly while alive and dead, given that the story is shown from his POV. During his monologues, his voice is performed by Robert Sacchi, a professional Humphrey Bogart impersonator, to reinforce the themes of his story and his appearance.
- Ironic Echo Cut: As Lou's narration segues into the story, flashing back to his boardroom meeting, he muses that it "seems like destiny was taking a hand". Fade into Lou saying the exact same thing absentmindedly to Erica.
- Lou also flashes back to a time when he was alone with Erica, who praises him as a wonderful person and asks what he would say if she said she never wanted to leave his side. This cues another flashback of him and Betty, who rebukes him for being a cheap piece of scum and asks what he would say if she told him she was leaving him. He answers both of their questions with the same response:
Lou: Nobody ever loved me that much. - Laser-Guided Karma: Lampshaded. As we see him nervously heading into his apartment, Lou concedes to the audience that they're probably thinking he's about to get what he deserves for his life of crime, but he insists that he genuinely tried to change his ways and become a better person.
- Betty and Oscar get their own LGK by Lou's body coming down on the parking brake of his car, ramming them into the grave they intended to bury him in. If they're in the same situation he's in, it's also likely that they can feel everything.
- Laughing Mad: Lou ends the episode by laughing maniacally after being loaded into a body bag, and after having his ideas of an afterlife shattered.
- Lighter and Softer: The gore is minimal in this episode, considering it's shown from the POV of our protagonist. It instead takes the form of a noir tragedy similar to those from the 40's.
- A Lighter Shade of Black: Lou makes no bones about his criminal past, but he says he did make a genuine effort to turn his life around and become a model citizen. At the same time, he denounces Betty as a monster. The rest of the episode goes on to show that Lou does have standards and limits, whereas Betty is indeed a Card-Carrying Villain capable of anything.
- Love Makes You Crazy: Lou tells Oscar that Betty's love has made him go crazy, trying one last time to talk some sense into his former accomplice.
- Monochrome Past: The numerous flashbacks that Lou relives throughout the episode.
- MST: Lou's inner monologue riffs on the story as it happens, calling out how ludicrous his situation is.
- My Significance Sense Is Tingling: As he enters his apartment, Lou's narration notes that he started getting all kinds of bad vibes about what was potentially waiting for him.
- Never Suicide: Betty and Oscar's original plan was to make it seem like Lou killed himself with a drink they gave him, lacing it with poison and writing a suicide note. Lou concedes that it was perfectly executed, even referring back to how shocked and despondent he looked when Betty called him during the boardroom meeting to ensure that he had witnesses to vouch for him.Lou: Was there anyone in that boardroom who didn't think my world had just come to an end? Lemme tell you, sweetheart, they had me.
- Oscar himself suggested that he could have Betty killed if she found out about Lou's past, claiming that he knows a couple of guys who could make it look like a break-in.
- Nice Girl: Erica, who loves Lou with all her heart, questions Betty and Oscar when he disappears, and even holds them at gunpoint when she learns the truth. She's gunned down, but she was still willing to go that far for her man.
- No Fourth Wall: Lou is aware that he's dead, and the protagonist of his own story, sharing his thoughts with the viewers and even commenting on the other character's actions and dialogues.
- Noir Episode: Considering that the protagonist is played by a long dead Humphrey Bogart who is backstabbed by his wife and best friend, this episode is a definite case.
- Oh, Crap!: Lou has one when he's shocked to hear Betty's voice, after having Oscar send hitmen to try and rub her out.
- Police Are Useless: Averted. After Betty bashes Lou's head in and wants to continue the phony suicide plan by saying Lou jumped from his balcony, Oscar rejects the suggestion by saying that the police aren't that stupid.
- Posthumous Narration: Lou spends nearly the entire story recalling his final hours alive, as well as what happens afterwards.
- P.O.V. Cam: The entire episode is framed from Lou's perspective. It's lampshaded after he dies, as Betty and Oscar observe that it seems like his corpse is still looking at them.
- Properly Paranoid:
- Lou had suspected that Oscar was the one who tipped off Betty about the pictures of his former life and his failed attempt to kill her.
- Oscar tells Betty not to let Lou rile her up, or else their plans could be ruined. He turned out to be right when Betty panics and bashes Lou's head in.
- Betty deduces that Lou was having an affair with Erica, his assistant.
- Pun: Lou cracks one after he posthumously learns that Betty bashed his head with a Picasso statuette, saying that it left quite an "impression" on him.
- Recycled Premise: The episode can be seen as a revamp of Abra Cadaver, as both episodes are presented from the point of view of a dead man who is able to feel and see everything around him. The difference is that while Carl was rendered clinically dead by an experimental drug, Lou is actively murdered and remains stuck inside his corpse for no given reason.
- Red Is Heroic: Erica, who comes to Lou's rescue in the climax, is always shown wearing a red dress.
- Riddle for the Ages: Why is Lou left stuck in his corpse when he dies? Is it punishment for his sins? Is it the closest thing he gets to an afterlife? Is his soul physically incapable of leaving his corpse? Or did his soul already ascend and he "just missed it"? It's never revealed how or why this happens to Lou, and given the fact that his lover, his ex-wife, and his former accomplice are also dead by the end, it's unknown whether this phenomenon is restricted only to Lou himself.
- Shout-Out: The Bookends are homages to Forrest Gump, which was also directed by Robert Zemeckis.
- Oscar's name also comes from the numerous awards the film won at the Academy Awards of that year, including the one Zemeckis himself won for Best Director, as well as the Oscar that Bogart won for his role in The African Queen.
- The computer-generated imagery of Bogart's face appearing on Lou's body, as well as Alfred Hitchcock appearing on the Crypt Keeper's bench, was accomplished by Industrial Light & Magic, which also generated the digital effects for the above film.
- Betty tells Oscar, "You'll have to do the thinking for both of us." and "Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time." in quick sucession. As a bonus, Betty is played by Isabella Rossellini (the daughter of Ingrid Bergman).
- The phrase "Here's lookin' at you, kid." is also uttered a few times, Spinelli even saying that it has "a familiar ring to it."
- Alfred Hitchcock being reduced to a skeleton after getting pecked to death by birds is an obvious homage to The Birds.
- Betty and Oscar hiding Lou's corpse when Erica comes snooping is sure to bring Weekend at Bernie's to mind.
- Sickening "Crunch!": Lou's corpse keeps producing these as Betty and Oscar drag him around and hide him, hinting that rigor mortis is starting to set in. As he's still able to feel while dead, Lou describes the sensation as "every cell in your body going rigid, and it hurts like hell."
- Sleeping with the Boss: Lou, after becoming a legitimate businessman, began a relationship with Erica, his assistant.
- Smash Cut: As Lou exits the building upon receiving Betty's call, we instantly cut to him behind the wheel of his car. We get another one at the end of the flashback where Oscar and Lou discuss killing the latter's wife when she starts getting nosey.
- Spanner in the Works: Betty and Oscar's plan to kill Lou was to make it look like he committed suicide by poisoning. After Lou wrestles the gun away from Oscar, Betty freaks out and kills Lou by repeatedly smacking him in the head with a marble statuette. Oscar calls Betty out for losing control, saying that the specific damage to Lou's head completely derails their plan.
- Spot the Thread:
- Betty's call had her tell Lou that she was calling the police, but when there were no officers in his apartment, Lou started getting suspicious.
- Though it seems like she fell for their cover story, Erica secretly followed Oscar and Betty to where they were planning to bury Lou's body. She became suspicious of them because of Oscar's stammer when told she knows about the phone call to the office and Betty's panicked "Tell her what?!" exclamation.
- The Stoic: Lou, since he speaks with Bogart's voice, even when he's fighting for his life against Oscar.
- Stupid Crooks: While they might be a charming manipulator and a brilliant surgeon, respectively, Betty and Oscar slowly become imbeciles when their plan to kill Lou goes in a different direction and they're forced to get rid of him. Lou even lampshades that he's not in Hell, since "Hell couldn't possibly be this stupid."
- Sympathetic Adulterer: Given that Lou's wife when he was a criminal was a hypocritical shrew who did nothing but demean him, he was justified in having a relationship with the sweet and caring Erica.
- Tampering with Food and Drink: As he's held at gunpoint, Oscar gives Lou a flask and invites him to have a drink. Realizing that they're planning to frame his death as suicide, Lou correctly guesses the contents of the flask have been poisoned.
- Too Dumb to Live: Just as Erica is about to be shot by Betty, Lou reflects on how she's such a sweet and trusting person, which acccording to him also means that she's pretty dumb.
- Ungrateful Bitch: Betty, according to Lou, who would punish him for saying "I do." for every little good thing he did.
- Villain with Good Publicity: Technically, Lou is one. He's a highly respected businessman who spent his youth as a wanted criminal, though he insists that he's trying to put that part of his life behind hin.
- His friend/accomplice Oscar is a straighter example, since he's a noted plastic surgeon who has his face on magazine covers. And he's also been having sex with his ex-wife and working with her to get him out of the way.
- We Used to Be Friends: Oscar was Lou's best friend, as well as the surgeon who made him look like Bogart. The doctor later betrayed Lou by hooking up with his ex-wife and plotting to kill him. Just before this, Lou compliments Oscar with his powers of persauasion and his skills with a scalpel, praising him for getting off the streets when he had the chance, unlike Lou himself.
- Whole-Plot Reference: While there are Bogart references everywhere to be seen, and the framing segments are blatant homages to Forrest Gump, the bulk of the plot is a reference to Dark Passage. As in that story, scenes are shown from our main character's POV, and he has had plastic surgery to change his face into that of Humphrey Bogart.
- Who Writes This Crap?!: Lou's narration takes a few digs at the story's ludicrous plot.
- World of Ham: Considering that it's an homage to 40's-50's noir melodrama movies, every character in this episode is pretty big on the ham.
- Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Expecting Lou to be armed, Oscar plays dead on the floor in order to get the drop on him with his gun of his own.
Crypt Keeper: (holding his feather bookmark before letting it blow away in the wind) You know, I kind of feel sorry for Lou. Surely, there's got to be an easier way to get an Oscar. (cackles) I hope my story didn't scare you too much, Mr. Hitchcock. Actually, I'm a very big fan of yours. If you want, you can tell me a story! (the camera pans over to reveal Hitchcock has been reduced to a skeleton, being pecked at by crows, before panning back to the Crypt Keeper) Hmmmm. I guess he knows the pecking order now! (cackles)
