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Anime and Manga
"I thought a fly landed on me. But it was just your punch."
— Goku to General White, Dragon Ball
"Sorry, I saw an opening that seemed to scream out "attack." So, I did. Ha!"
— Goku after one-shotting Recoome, Dragon Ball Z (Ocean dub)
"Welcome to the end of your life... and I promise, it's going to hurt."
— Vegeta to Pui Pui, Dragon Ball Z
"And as he looked over the smoldering battlefield, Sergeant Madeski knew he had done wrong. The men he had led so bravely into battle were dead. They had placed their trust in him, and he had taught them only one thing; how to die quickly."
Nove: Wasn't Dieci on the receiving end of Nanoha-san in that mode?
Dieci: I didn't even last ten seconds against her, though.
Dieci: I didn't even last ten seconds against her, though.
— Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Striker S, manga chapter 15
"How does it feel to have your life slowly crushed by overwhelming force, with no hope of fighting back?"
— Hallelujah Haptism, Mobile Suit Gundam 00
"We're talking about four machines. You can't call this mess a "war;" this is a "one-sided butt-kicking fiasco."
— AEU Big Shot, Mobile Suit Gundam 00
"So, this is how our fight turned out: the part of the mission where we lured them away went really well, but then... well... you see... then it was over in two seconds. One second each."
— Usopp, after he and a camel got their asses kicked off-screen by Mr. 2 Bon Clay, One Piece
"WHAT king was that? Boy..."
— "King of the Beasts" Kaido after casually one-shotting Luffy, One Piece
"My apologies."
— Shoto Todoroki before serving one of these to an opponent, My Hero Academia
"He's trippin' 'cause he got served."
— Soundwave after Megatron (who is about to become Galvatron) loses a fight with Metroplex, Transformers: Cybertron
"I could see how it would end when it started. From the beginning their abilities... well, their species... were on a different level. The game was beyond one-sided. They destroyed them."
— Kobayashi remarking on Tohru, Kanna, Fafnir, and Lucoa pulverizing a group of thugs in a game of dodgeball, Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid
Woodmon: I am Woodmon, I cannot be defeated!
Flamedramon: Flame Shield! (tackles Woodmon into a Control Spire)
Woodmon: Hey, I'm being defeated!
Flamedramon: Flame Shield! (tackles Woodmon into a Control Spire)
Woodmon: Hey, I'm being defeated!
Alen: I can't believe Louie got himself killed by this guy (Hei). I thought he would put up more of a fight.
Mao: [popping up from nowhere] He will; and when he does, you might want to keep in mind: Hei doesn't wear that coat as a fashion statement. [Alen whirls around] It's bulletproof.
Mao: [popping up from nowhere] He will; and when he does, you might want to keep in mind: Hei doesn't wear that coat as a fashion statement. [Alen whirls around] It's bulletproof.
"You know, I guess you guys will do. Help me out with my test too, won't ya? It's just been completed. This is Hades Kerbecs."
— Damian Hart, prior to nigh-instantly hospitalizing Tsubasa and Yu, Metal Fight Beyblade
Comic Books
"Punisher War Journal: NNNNNNNNNNNNGH"
Iron Man: You've been working out.
Thor: No. There is only one difference. In this time and this place, I am no longer holding back.
Iron Man: What are you—?!
[Thor calls down the mother of all lightning bolts upon Iron Man, completely disabling his Power Armor, just before ripping the mask off him. Tony is terrified.]
Thor: Give your orders and ultimatums to those who choose to obey, or are too cowardly to fight. Not to me. Or learn again the difference between a god of thunder... and a man in a metal suit.
Thor: No. There is only one difference. In this time and this place, I am no longer holding back.
Iron Man: What are you—?!
[Thor calls down the mother of all lightning bolts upon Iron Man, completely disabling his Power Armor, just before ripping the mask off him. Tony is terrified.]
Thor: Give your orders and ultimatums to those who choose to obey, or are too cowardly to fight. Not to me. Or learn again the difference between a god of thunder... and a man in a metal suit.
Damian Wayne: I will not lose to you!
Tim Drake: You lost the second I started trying.
Tim Drake: You lost the second I started trying.
I must say, Champion, you are turning out to be a great disappointment to me. I really expected more of a challenge from you. Can you hear me under all that rubble?
—Thanos, The Thanos Quest
Will: You know what's the coolest thing about being Maestro? The badass upgrades. Check it out. [sticks his finger into the crystal ball]
Babin Kuk: You will live out your days in my agony intensifier, boy! So swears Babin Kuk the Obdurate!
Will: YO, MR COUNTRY-COMES-TO-TOWN... BUH-BYEEEE!
[Will's now-gigantic finger descends from the sky and incinerates Babin Kuk with a blast of magic]
Will: Easy-peasy lemon squeezy. [to Wren] You wanna smoothie? Let's get a smoothie.
Babin Kuk: You will live out your days in my agony intensifier, boy! So swears Babin Kuk the Obdurate!
Will: YO, MR COUNTRY-COMES-TO-TOWN... BUH-BYEEEE!
[Will's now-gigantic finger descends from the sky and incinerates Babin Kuk with a blast of magic]
Will: Easy-peasy lemon squeezy. [to Wren] You wanna smoothie? Let's get a smoothie.
Titania: "Everyone will be talking about me! Titania! The woman who killed Thor!"
The Mighty Thor: "Mayhap, woman." (flinging her beyond the horizon) "When icicles doth grace Surter's fiery realm."
The Mighty Thor: "Mayhap, woman." (flinging her beyond the horizon) "When icicles doth grace Surter's fiery realm."
"Battle, however, is an unlikely word for such a one-sided affair".
— Narrator, Legion of Super-Heroes The Great Darkness Saga
I was not as uninitiated to battles as you might assume due to my youth and the gentle reputation of my gender. [...] But until that day, I never saw anyone so unafraid of death that they understood in their heart and belly a simple and perfect truth-— There was no one alive stronger than them.
— Ruthye, Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow
Supergirl: I'm sorry, but you seem confused. Just 'cuz I let you land a few easy blows— that doesn't mean we're having a fair fight!
Clayface: Wh— What are you... d-doing...?
Supergirl: To call you "lame" and "ever so slightly beneath me" would be the understatement of the century. But it's been a bad few weeks. A shame you just happened to be the whipping boy I was looking for.
Clayface: Wh— What are you... d-doing...?
Supergirl: To call you "lame" and "ever so slightly beneath me" would be the understatement of the century. But it's been a bad few weeks. A shame you just happened to be the whipping boy I was looking for.
[Batman's] words are spoken softly, and with contempt. Then, a single blow fractures the man's jaw...disarms him...and sends him sprawling.
Fairy Tales
After travelling some distance he came to a field where a host of soldiers were lying dead. And he called:"If there is any man left alive here, speak up and tell me: who killed all this mighty force?" Just one man was left alive, and he answered. "All this mighty force was killed by Maria Morevna, the beautiful queen."
Fan Works
It was over in a single strike. Her Aura was shattered, all of her contingencies against death she'd picked up during the loops were circumvented with contemptuous ease and she was laid out on the ground, choking on the blood that filled her lungs through the holes that had been torn by the fragments of her shattered rib cage.
"The pirate raid on Mindoir came to a halt over the next twenty minutes. It was not a slow, grinding halt brought about by attrition, or a sporadic, jerking halt brought about by infighting, or even the panicked, terrified halt brought about by Alliance reinforcements.
It was the halt that came when a toy race car slammed headlong into a mack truck."
It was the halt that came when a toy race car slammed headlong into a mack truck."
I gave the guy a side-neck chop as I pivoted and let him fall past me.
She hurled herself into the strange skies of New Genesis, both her arms stretched out perpendicular to her body, and screamed in rage. The group of Para-Demons she was headed for didn't have time to run for it. They barely had time to see she was there.
Her powerful, blue-clad, Kryptonian arms acted like twin plows, knocking the winged beasts out of the air. They fell like shot birds, hailing down on the landscape. The New Genesis troops had a chance to gape at the blue streak that was mowing down the enemy.
Superman had smashed his great hands together in an impact that almost deafened the New Gods who hovered too near to him. The shockwave from the crash buffeted a flying legion of Para-Demons. That was all the time Superman needed to separate them physically from the New Genesis flight troops they were attacking, and to tap them into dreamland.
Her powerful, blue-clad, Kryptonian arms acted like twin plows, knocking the winged beasts out of the air. They fell like shot birds, hailing down on the landscape. The New Genesis troops had a chance to gape at the blue streak that was mowing down the enemy.
Superman had smashed his great hands together in an impact that almost deafened the New Gods who hovered too near to him. The shockwave from the crash buffeted a flying legion of Para-Demons. That was all the time Superman needed to separate them physically from the New Genesis flight troops they were attacking, and to tap them into dreamland.
Nami: Why is there a hole in the... everything?
Luffy: Well, first I hit him in gear second, but then he turned invisible and I couldn't see him. But I knew he was in the room, so I used gear third to hit it.
Nami: Hit what?
Luffy: The room.
Luffy: Well, first I hit him in gear second, but then he turned invisible and I couldn't see him. But I knew he was in the room, so I used gear third to hit it.
Nami: Hit what?
Luffy: The room.
[Summer] heard Peter's booming laugh explode as he charged with his axe out, hurling himself forward. With Glynda tying up Pyrrha's cloud of weaponry, Peter could throw himself through the whirling steel to trade blows directly with Salem's General. Axe met sword in a tremendous clash, as Bart fired relentlessly, leading a team of student gunners to unleash as much firepower as they could against her in a broadside.
But it didn't bring Summer much hope to see it.
They didn't stand a chance.
Without the pressure of Summer's Silver Eyes, nothing was keeping Pyrrha's own powers in check. The pugilist was flung backwards with only a glance, Peter's incredible strength was nothing against hers, and Pyrrha could duel a hundred foes at once if she needed to. The attack was fought off nearly as soon as it had begun, with Pyrrha once more on the offensive, her weaponry everywhere, with jets of black flame suddenly bursting forth from the floor. Glynda did all she could to shield the students, but it was a rout. Black clouds of poison and fire swirled through the room as Pyrrha's power only seemed to grow as more joined the battle, the ground cracking beneath her as her rage grew more and more terrible, the students powerless against a foe so far beyond them.
But it didn't bring Summer much hope to see it.
They didn't stand a chance.
Without the pressure of Summer's Silver Eyes, nothing was keeping Pyrrha's own powers in check. The pugilist was flung backwards with only a glance, Peter's incredible strength was nothing against hers, and Pyrrha could duel a hundred foes at once if she needed to. The attack was fought off nearly as soon as it had begun, with Pyrrha once more on the offensive, her weaponry everywhere, with jets of black flame suddenly bursting forth from the floor. Glynda did all she could to shield the students, but it was a rout. Black clouds of poison and fire swirled through the room as Pyrrha's power only seemed to grow as more joined the battle, the ground cracking beneath her as her rage grew more and more terrible, the students powerless against a foe so far beyond them.
"Yamanaka Ino lay sprawled on the ground, swimming in and out of consciousness. She was barely aware of her victorious opponent dragging the forehead protector from her belt and tying it back in its rightful place atop a head of pink hair. The fight had been so short and brutal that Ino was wondering if she hadn't been tricked by a jounin in disguise. She didn't know if Sakura had been training behind her back, or if it was just the strength of pure fury, but Sakura had overcome her within seconds, smashing any fight from her body with brutal taijutsu that made a mockery of her defense. The few blows she'd managed to land hadn't even made her opponent flinch."
Dabi: Well, that was quick. I would’ve thought the king of the underworld would have had more fight in him.
Magne: Well, Shiggy did destroy his life support. And I’m sure all this dust didn’t help any.
Twice: Not to mention that you blew up his extra oxygen tank! So cool! That was below the belt!
Magne: Well, Shiggy did destroy his life support. And I’m sure all this dust didn’t help any.
Twice: Not to mention that you blew up his extra oxygen tank! So cool! That was below the belt!
"And to think I thought you'd be a challenge," Bulla said disappointingly.
Film - Live-Action
"Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a ninety-pound girl, 'cause... I don't think that's ever getting old."
—Wash, Serenity
"Oh yes, I was wondering what would break first, your spirit or your body?"
"You're not talking about getting home anymore, you are talking about fucking war on God! Well fuck that! I have seen what happens to the proud when they take on the Throne!"
Colonel Steiner: If memory serves me, the Polish Army surrendered in 1939.
SS Grunt: Oh, [they're] Jews, sir. We are razing the Ghetto to the ground - burning them out. They put up a hell of a fight, I can tell you.
Colonel Steiner: Oh, how? With umbrellas and crutches?
SS Grunt: Oh, [they're] Jews, sir. We are razing the Ghetto to the ground - burning them out. They put up a hell of a fight, I can tell you.
Colonel Steiner: Oh, how? With umbrellas and crutches?
Michaelangelo: Now... at exactly... what point... did we lose control here?
Donatello: Maybe somebody should tell [Shredder] that... we're the good guys?
Donatello: Maybe somebody should tell [Shredder] that... we're the good guys?
Loki: Enough! You are all of you beneath me. I am a god, you dull creature. And I will not be bullied by--
*WHAM WHAM WHAM ... WHAM WHAM*
Hulk: Puny god.
*WHAM WHAM WHAM ... WHAM WHAM*
Hulk: Puny god.
"All that for a drop of blood."
Steve: Tony, you fought him.
Tony: Who told you that? I didn't fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street magician gave away the stone.
Tony: Who told you that? I didn't fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street magician gave away the stone.
"This is embarrassing. Please, stay down."
—Colossus, Deadpool (2016)
Literature
"This isn't a war. It never was a war, any more than there's war between man and ants."
— The Artilleryman, The War of the Worlds
"Beyond a certain point, there was simply nothing you could do; there was no brilliant plan you could draw up or cunning stratagem you could employ that would not seem laughably simple and unsophisticated to a profoundly more developed enemy."
Brightling: What happened out there?
Henriksen: We got slaughtered like fucking sheep!
“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI,” cried Slippery John, hurling himself forward, limbs flailing and swinging in a magnificent display of martial arts training. His little mustachioed face ran straight into Mr. Wonderful's twirling knife and the result was not dissimilar to a bag of jam being thrown in front of a lawnmower.
“Anyway, as I was saying,” said Mr. Wonderful, shaking what I think was a tongue off his wrist...
Then he snaps his fingers and the world ends for a few seconds.
What can I say of the battle? I can tell you that it was not a battle. Death incarnate was before us, and like fools we marched towards it with spears and bows. What surprise is it that we were no different to a sacrifice? Our very finest, walking of our own will into the slaughter pit. A tragedy only outmatched by our folly.
—Quetzacthulhu, by Set Sytes
"I emerged as you see me [barely scuffed]. Mr. Woodley was taken home in a cart."
—Sherlock Holmes, "The Solitary Cyclist"
Alex realised that the fight was rapidly becoming a massacre. The invaders were better trained and better equipped. They'd had the advantage of surprise. And with all the defences down, the fort was nothing more than a killing ground.
—Alex Rider: Scorpia Rising
In the weeks leading up to the Seven-Year Festival, he'd trained every day to deal with possible threats. What if an opponent could resist the Empty Palm? What if they had a technique they could land on him first? What if his madra was exhausted before the later rounds?
But as the sun crept past noon and Lindon defeated his fifth opponent, he realized there was one scenario he'd never prepared for: easy victory.
But as the sun crept past noon and Lindon defeated his fifth opponent, he realized there was one scenario he'd never prepared for: easy victory.
— Cradle Series book 1: Unsouled
Live-Action TV
Cyber-Leader: Daleks, be warned: you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is PEST CONTROL!
Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is PEST CONTROL!
— Doctor Who, "Doomsday"
"This is like putting the heavyweight boxing champion of the world in against... my gran."
— Jonathan Pearce, as Hypno-Disc prepares to face an opponent still crippled from an earlier curb-stomping, Robot Wars
Music
Faced off once more in the center of the ring
Touched gloves, said a prayer and the bell went *ding*.
He hit me with a left and shattered my face
Then a right sent my teeth all over the place.
Then another great punch caved-in my eye socket
He broke my jaw, and my trainer yelled, "Stop it!"
But nobody heard him and he crushed my ribs
Blood sprayed off my face and onto some kids.
They yelled out, "More!", and Rocky obliged
I had to think of some way to turn the tides
So I leaned back to hit him with all of my might
Took a swing, but he caught me with a sucker punch right.
Then a sucker punch left, and a sucker punch right
Then twenty-two consecutive sucker punch rights
He tore off my arms and beat me with them
Then threw acid in my face, which obscured my vision.
He kicked me in the leg and fractured my shin
The bone splinters shot right out of my skin
People barfed in the crowd, they were going insane
Then Rocky punched my nose-bone into my brain.
I was quivering and twitching when I soiled my shorts
Then Rocky pissed on me (customary in sports)
The doctor came out and pronounced me dead,
And that was the night I fought Rocky!
Touched gloves, said a prayer and the bell went *ding*.
He hit me with a left and shattered my face
Then a right sent my teeth all over the place.
Then another great punch caved-in my eye socket
He broke my jaw, and my trainer yelled, "Stop it!"
But nobody heard him and he crushed my ribs
Blood sprayed off my face and onto some kids.
They yelled out, "More!", and Rocky obliged
I had to think of some way to turn the tides
So I leaned back to hit him with all of my might
Took a swing, but he caught me with a sucker punch right.
Then a sucker punch left, and a sucker punch right
Then twenty-two consecutive sucker punch rights
He tore off my arms and beat me with them
Then threw acid in my face, which obscured my vision.
He kicked me in the leg and fractured my shin
The bone splinters shot right out of my skin
People barfed in the crowd, they were going insane
Then Rocky punched my nose-bone into my brain.
I was quivering and twitching when I soiled my shorts
Then Rocky pissed on me (customary in sports)
The doctor came out and pronounced me dead,
And that was the night I fought Rocky!
— The Lonely Island, "Rocky"
When a fight is just plain wrong!
We all sing the curbstomp song!
People dying left and right...
It's a SLAUGHTER, not a fight!
We all sing the curbstomp song!
People dying left and right...
It's a SLAUGHTER, not a fight!
Tabletop Games
Duels between Zaotar and Kahin are rare, and when they do happen, they're very short. In the time that it takes a Zaotar to work up one nice big-ass fireball, the Kahin typically lands a curse powerful enough to shatter every bone in the Zaotar's body, blind him, make him agoraphobic and infect him with tertiary syphilis. And he's also made sure that the Zaotar's fireball goes off prematurely.
—Mage: The Ascension - Lost Paths
Video Games
"It's not a fight; it's a massacre!"
—Lord Shaxx in a one-sided Crucible match, Destiny
"FRAUD DETECTED"
— Divekick, after someone wins a match 5-0
"Well... there's no doubt about the outcome and that's been the case for a long time now."
— Martin Tyler if one side is winning by more than seven goals, Fifa Soccer
"Shepard's tearing us apart!"
— Arrival Project Guard, Mass Effect 2 "Arrival" DLC
"Two million dead in the first day, another seven million by the end of the first week, every defense annihilated, all our forces on the run. Regrouping... Somewhere... Reports are coming in from other major cities. It's a well-coordinated attack, and so far it's been damned effective."
— Major Coates on the Reaper invasion, Mass Effect 3
"It'll be the Seven Hour War all over again, except this time we won't last seven minutes!"
— Eli Vance, Half-Life 2
"Pain."
— Rawk Hawk meets Bowser, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
"That wasn't a battle, that was assisted suicide."
— Zephyr, Resonance of Fate
"It's a blowout!"
Superman: Wanna hear a joke?
Harley Quinn: Oh geez, this oughta be something...
Superman: Harley Quinn versus Superman.
Harley Quinn: Oh geez, this oughta be something...
Superman: Harley Quinn versus Superman.
Holden: Daubeny! DAUBENY, SHOW YOURSELF! These warriors don't have to die... Trial by Combat. Right now!
"This time I was "prepared" for our Traveler - so I thought. Rigged flashes in hopes of stunning It & weighted net. Nabbed It - and by It I mean HER - positive It's female now. Blade-like weapon cut thru netting like thread. (SHARP - 16 stitches in my neck to prove it.) Very fast, very strong - She snapped my ribs with a back hand. Think I would have been a goner if a cab hadn't taken a wrong turn into the docks."
—Mark Meltzer, Bioshock 2: There's Something In The Sea
It was known that anyone of significance who fomented discontent or posed a real threat to the rule of the emperor might be visited by the First Blade. I had never stirred such controversy but I always imagined, if such an encounter took place, I could put up a respectable fight. I never got the chance. Taken unawares, I was disarmed before I even knew what was happening. Had he sought my death, I would not have even witnessed the killing stroke fall.
— Journal of Inquisitor Creed, Grim Dawn
"This isn't a fair fight. This is barely exercise. You outclass every fighter that the Medusa's Head has to offer, battering them senseless without needing to concentrate. Did you pay that bill? When is the coalman coming tomorrow? Why are people giving you rostygold? Oh, that's right."
— Text upon succession of the "fight in the pit fight" challenge, Fallen London
"Now, get one thing clear. This is not your David and Goliath moment. The Hammer's shields are ten times as strong as yours, and if it's able to bring its weapons to bear, we'll be dead in two seconds."
"Thunderclaps echo across the Blue Kingdom. Celestial machinery crumbles beneath the fury of your artillery. You punch holes through language. Pillars tumble. Chains shatter. But you are in the heart of a star's power, and your rebellion cannot last more than an instant. Light washes over you. You are no longer permitted to exist. You cease. After you are eradicated, one of the King's servants opens a ledger. A small note is made in a margin. Your complaint on behalf of all mortals has been registered."
"A strong man from the stars against a child? How is this fair?"
Webcomics
"It shoots fire from its mouth and bleeds acidic lava! Run for your pathetic lives!
Our weapons are useless! Reliance upon them is death!
It has exposed its fleshy underbelly to me in the form of its digestive tract!"
Our weapons are useless! Reliance upon them is death!
It has exposed its fleshy underbelly to me in the form of its digestive tract!"
— Red Mage, 8-Bit Theater episode 455
"He wants to taste the curb! He wants to taste the fucking curb!"
"It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time."
— Master Fei, How I Killed Your Master
"I trained and struggled my whole adult life for this battle, and that sad sack of bones went down faster than a kobold with a lung infection."
— Roy Greenhilt, The Order of the Stick
Web Original
Wiz: The combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibility. One. One possibility.
Boomstick: It's time for AQUAMAN'S FUNERAL!
Boomstick: It's time for AQUAMAN'S FUNERAL!
"K.O! I win. Perfect."
—Perfect Cell, after completely crushing Vegeta's body and spirit, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
Vegeta: You have been ignoring your king!
Broly: What is a king to a god?
Vegeta: And what is a god to a non-believer!
[Broly smashes Vegeta into a building]
Broly: Do you believe now?
Vegeta: [weakly] ...uh huh. [falls to the ground] So cool...
Krillin: YOU ATE MY GIRLFRIEN- (Cell slaps him)
Vegeta: Now, prepare to feel the wrath OF SUPER VEGETA- (Cell slaps him)
Trunks: I won't let you destroy another future- (Cell slaps him)
Perfect Cell: Now I'm going to go throw a tournament. Later, breeders!
Mike: Isn't that what they call the invasion now? The Seven Hour War? Do you wanna know why?
Dave: Because it lasted se-
Mike: Because it lasted seven hours, that's why! Most people are at work longer than that! That means that in less time than it takes Joe Average to clock in and clock out at the office, aliens have conquered the whole Earth, and all Joe did was make some spreadsheets.
Dave: Well that's just because they caught us off guard.
Mike: Okay, let's say we were ready for them. Then what? We'd call it the Ten Hour War?
Dave: Because it lasted se-
Mike: Because it lasted seven hours, that's why! Most people are at work longer than that! That means that in less time than it takes Joe Average to clock in and clock out at the office, aliens have conquered the whole Earth, and all Joe did was make some spreadsheets.
Dave: Well that's just because they caught us off guard.
Mike: Okay, let's say we were ready for them. Then what? We'd call it the Ten Hour War?
"It's hard to make a guy with a spiked ball and chain versus the unarmed people look good, but in lucha, the luchadores could turn up to the final scene in a tank and it wouldn't be any more one-sided."
"Dracula, Belmont just took down Werewolf! [...] Uh, Succubus is gone too. [...] Don't worry Dracula, I'll take him d- ohp, wait, nope, nope, Belmont's got me in a headlock, ohp, nope, nope, he's using the holy whippin', and uhm, um, sucks up snuff I'm dead."
"Yeah, this is obviously Chun-Li's game. A mall cop vs. an Interpol officer. Unless they are fighting in a some kind of Chinese mall with lots of sweets or sugary food and Chun-Li loses 50 I.Q. before the match, she'll most likely a guaranteed winner."
"YOU ANIMALS!! HE'S ALREADY DEAD!!!!!"
— The Nostalgia Critic, watching such a scene in Short Circuit
"Come on, that was not a boss fight, not by any stretch of the imagination - he walked into my fist."
"Whaaaa?...I killed him from just pulling out my sword! I wasn't even trying to hit you!"
"YOU GET THE COUNT VLAD TEPES AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE: In the field of posting elaborate tortures, uncivilised acts against humanity, and not knowing the meaning of the words "Cruel and Unusual.""
— A Fauxtivational Poster posted on SpaceBattles.com
, referring to a versus battle between the Time Lords and The Draka
, referring to a versus battle between the Time Lords and The DrakaForever: Uhu uhung!
[Jotaro spots Forever running around on the freighter]
Jotaro: There's an orangutan! How suspicious! ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!
[Star Platinum pummels Forever senseless]
Forever: Eugyaaaaeheeee!
[Forever passes out and the freighter begins to rumble]
[Jotaro spots Forever running around on the freighter]
Jotaro: There's an orangutan! How suspicious! ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!
[Star Platinum pummels Forever senseless]
Forever: Eugyaaaaeheeee!
[Forever passes out and the freighter begins to rumble]
— Vaguely Recalling JoJo, episode 4
"that wasnt a fight scene, that was just ownage"
"Well, you were worth every cent. Truly you were."
— Roman Torchwick, RWBY, watching his goons get trashed by Ruby.
Kaldor Draigo: I HAVE COME TO BANISH ALL DAEMONS AND LOW-QUALITY RAZORS IN THIS REALM!
Custodian-General: Kaldor Draigo! I knew you would come!
Kaldor Drago: YOU LOOK LIKE A STARFRUIT!
Custodian-General: Please, help me apprehend [Magnus the Red]! You have done it before and surely you can do it again! Just, please, be careful of his-
(thunk)
Kaldor Draigo: I'VE ALREADY DEFEATED HIM!
Custodian-General (confused) Whuh? (cut to an unconscious Magnus on the floor) But... how?!
Kaldor Draigo: A WIZARD NEVER REVEALS HIS SECRETS!
Custodian-General: (hurts inside noise) I'm so confused....
Custodian-General: Kaldor Draigo! I knew you would come!
Kaldor Drago: YOU LOOK LIKE A STARFRUIT!
Custodian-General: Please, help me apprehend [Magnus the Red]! You have done it before and surely you can do it again! Just, please, be careful of his-
(thunk)
Kaldor Draigo: I'VE ALREADY DEFEATED HIM!
Custodian-General (confused) Whuh? (cut to an unconscious Magnus on the floor) But... how?!
Kaldor Draigo: A WIZARD NEVER REVEALS HIS SECRETS!
Custodian-General: (hurts inside noise) I'm so confused....
—If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device, Episode 22
Western Animation
Zuko: Here for a rematch?
Katara: Trust me Zuko, it's not going to be much of a match.
Katara: Trust me Zuko, it's not going to be much of a match.
—Avatar: The Last Airbender, "The Siege of the North, Part 2"
"MAN VS CAR! The newest hit show where it pits a man versus a car. On tonight's episode, Michael Jenkins fights... a regular, old car. Here we go.
Oh, he's pushing his way through, he's trying to fight that car, but the car seems to have the upper hand... Oh! He's got a little bit of push back there... Oh no, he just got ran over and chewed up by the tyres. I guess that's another one for the cars. [laughs] I mean, wouldn't the cars always win?"
Oh, he's pushing his way through, he's trying to fight that car, but the car seems to have the upper hand... Oh! He's got a little bit of push back there... Oh no, he just got ran over and chewed up by the tyres. I guess that's another one for the cars. [laughs] I mean, wouldn't the cars always win?"
—Randy Dicknose, Rick and Morty, "Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate"
Chuckles: Aha! Then you might NOT be the hero of this story! I still have a chance to destroy you!
Space Narrator: Welcome to the heroic exploits of DAVE THE SPACE BARBARIAN!
Chuckles: Err. Slight chance?
Space Narrator: Today's episode: Chuckles gets beat like a cheap drum.
Chuckles: I'm doomed.
Space Narrator: Welcome to the heroic exploits of DAVE THE SPACE BARBARIAN!
Chuckles: Err. Slight chance?
Space Narrator: Today's episode: Chuckles gets beat like a cheap drum.
Chuckles: I'm doomed.
—Dave the Barbarian, "A Pig's Story"
Mom: What have you boys been up to all weekend?
Brak: We've been playing Headkicker.
Zorak: I've been playing. You've been getting a red-ass beatdown.
Brak: We've been playing Headkicker.
Zorak: I've been playing. You've been getting a red-ass beatdown.
—The Brak Show, "Time Machine"
"Later, losers. I'd say you put up a good fight, but I'm not that good of an actor."
— King Andrias, Amphibia
"Thanks for another forgettable experience!"
— Alastor to Sir Pentious, Hazbin Hotel
