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Quotes: Bond One-Liner
"Anything can be penetrated with the proper tool."

"You're a dangerous fool who should be sent west. You have forgotten the face of your father."
Roland Deschain (to an unconscious Cowboy Cop), The Dark Tower: The Drawing of the Three

"Friendship is science, bitch."
Lollerskates, Dream Team: Episode 3

Hercules: That'll leave a stink.
Icarus: Stop it, no one likes a mocker.
Hercules: But that's how secret agents talk!
Disney's Hercules: The Animated Series, "Hercules and the Golden Touch"

"Another bunch of bad guys bite the dust. Am I good or am I good?"

Shot everyone in the town, and all these corpses lyin' round, and he goes and makes a glib comment. What kind of person would do that, at that time? He goes "I'm outta here, this place is dead anyway - zing!" Fortunately though, in this situation, everybody was dead so no one was offended.

There were a lot of things [Vimes] could say. "Son of a bitch!" would have been a good one. Or he could say "Welcome to civilization!" He could have said "Laugh this one off!" He might have said "Fetch!"
But he didn't, because if he had said any of those things, then he'd know that what he had just done was murder.
The Fifth Elephant, after Sam Vimes has killed a werewolf.

"Apology accepted, Captain Needa."
Darth Vader, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but if you have nothing fun to say after shooting a crossdressing nurse through a door and two panes of glass, you probably have no business shooting anyone, period.

YEAH! YOU GOT FUCKED!
Rock, Black Lagoon, after a would-be assassin gets blown up.

Trope Namer Remarks

    open/close all folders 

    Sean Connery 

Dr. No

Sergeant, make sure he doesn't get away.
— As he leaves a dead Mook who smoked a cyanide-laced cigarette in the custody of a security guard at the Government House in Jamaica.

Construction Worker: How did it happen?
James Bond: I think they were on their way to a funeral.
— After a pursuing hearse fails to pass the obstacle Bond passed on a mountainside.

From Russia with Love

She should've kept her mouth shut.
— After helping Kerim Bey shoot a man hiding behind a picture of Anita Ekberg.

You won't be needing this, old man.
— After taking his stuff back from the recently killed Red Grant.

I'd say one of their aircraft is missing.
— After shooting down a SPECTRE helicopter.

There's a saying in England: Where there's smoke, there's fire.
— After setting some SPECTRE boats ablaze.

Tatiana Romanova: Horrible, horrible woman.
James Bond: Yes, she had her kicks.
— After Tatiana kills the shoe-knife wielding Rosa Klebb.

Goldfinger

Shocking. Positively shocking.

Auric Goldfinger Forgive me, Mr. Bond, but, uh... I must arrange to separate my gold from the late Mr. Solo.
James Bond: As you said, he had a pressing engagement.
— Referring to the gangster that Oddjob killed minutes before.

Felix Leiter: You okay, James? Where's your butler friend?
James Bond: He blew a fuse.
— After Bond has killed Oddjob.

Pussy Galore: What happened? Where's Goldfinger?
James Bond: Playing his golden harp.
— After Goldfinger is sucked out of his private jet.

Thunderball

Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She's just dead.
— After taking out Fiona Volpe by having one of her henchmen kill her.

I think he got the point.
— After killing Vargas with a harpoon.

Domino: I'm glad I killed him.
James Bond: You're glad?
— After Domino saves Bond by killing Emilio Largo.

You Only Live Twice

Tiger Tanaka: How is that for Japanese efficiency?
James Bond: Just a drop in the ocean.
— After Tanaka tosses some henchmen into the ocean.

Bon appetit!
— After tossing a henchman into Blofeld's piranha pool. (Later used by Dalton in Licence To Kill after stuffing a henchman into a maggot tank.)

Diamonds Are Forever

Welcome to Hell, Blofeld.
— After killing a Blofeld clone by pushing him into a pool of hot mud.

Tiffany Case: My God, you just killed James Bond!
James Bond: Is that who it was? Well, it just goes to show no one's indestructible.
— Bond feigning surprise upon learning that he had killed "himself".

It's funny... all the things one wanted to say to one's brother, when it's all too late.
— His alibi just before boarding a plane to Los Angeles with the body of his "brother".

My condolences, gentlemen!
— As he leaves Slumber, Inc. as Shady Tree tries to question him about the whereabouts of the real diamonds; unusual in that no fatality is involved, but the pwnage in Bond's voice is still there.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Right idea, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: But wrong pussy...
— After Bond offs another Blofeld clone, having used the clone's cat as bait.

Well, he certainly left with his tail between his legs.

    George Lazenby 

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Gate crasher! I'll leave you to tidy up.
— After knocking out a man and leaving him in the trashed hotel room.

He had lots of guts!
— After someone gets disemboweled by a snowblower.

He's branched off!
— After Blofeld hits a tree during the final bobsled chase.

    Roger Moore 

Live and Let Die

Solitaire: Where's Kananga?
James Bond: He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.
— After literally blowing up Kananga.

Solitaire: Now what are you doing?
James Bond: Just being disarming, darling.
— After taking out Tee-Hee and tossing his metal arm out the window.

The Spy Who Loved Me

What a helpful chap.
— After dropping Sandor to his death after the latter mentions pyramids.

All those feathers and he still can't fly!
— After a motorcycle riding henchman runs into a cloud of feathers and falls off a cliff.

Moonraker

Hugo Drax: You missed, Mr Bond.
* Mook falls out of tree, dead*
James Bond: Did I?
— After Bond shoots a would be assassin during a hunting trip.

Play it again, Sam!
— After Bond chucks Chang out a window and onto a piano.

Hugo Drax: Why did you break up the encounter with my pet python?
James Bond: I discovered it had a crush on me.
— After Bond kills the python Drax sent to kill him.

Dr. Goodhead: Where's Drax?
James Bond: Oh, he had to fly.
— After Bond launches Drax into outer space.

For Your Eyes Only

He had no head for heights.
— After Bond kicks Locque off a cliff.

    Timothy Dalton 

The Living Daylights

Kara Milovy: What happened?
James Bond: He got the boot!
— After taking out Necros by taking off his boot.

He met his Waterloo.
— Remarking on Whitaker being crushed to death by a statue of the Duke Of Wellington.

Licence to Kill

Looks like he came to a dead end.
— When bumping into Heller, who Sanchez killed with a forklift.

Switch the bloody machine off!
— After dropping Dario into a grinder.

    Pierce Brosnan 

GoldenEye

The writing's on the wall?
— After Major Boothroyd demonstrates an exploding pen on a test dummy; as seen in the "Other Characters" section, Boothroyd proceeds to complete the one-liner.

She always did enjoy a good squeeze.
— After taking out Xenia Onatopp.

Tomorrow Never Dies

Backseat driver!
— After ejecting a would be assassin out of a fighter jet.

They'll print anything these days...
— After shoving a Mook into a printing press, resulting in red pages coming out.

The World Is Not Enough

I never miss.
— After killing someone who played the You Wouldn't Shoot Me card and told him he'd miss her.

    Daniel Craig 

Casino Royale

Yes, considerably.
— When his target is Killed Mid-Sentence while explaining that while the first kill is always difficult, the second kill is easy.

That last hand... nearly killed me.
— After surviving an assassination attempt during his game.

Quantum of Solace

Slate was a dead end.
— A meta example; M realizes what had happened when Tanner relays Bond's message to her.

Skyfall

Last rat standing.
— His Ironic Echo to Silva after knifing him during the climactic showdown.

    Other Characters 

Diamonds Are Forever

Albert Wint: Curious how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to... die.
— After shoving a scorpion down a dentist's shirt.

Pilot: Stop right there! Who are you?
Albert Wint: Dr. Tynan sent us.
Pilot: Why didn't he come himself?
Charles Kidd: He was taken sick.
Albert Wint: Bitten by the bug.
— Referring to the aforementioned dentist they killed.

Charles Kidd: If God had wanted man to fly...
Albert Wint: He would've given him wings, Mr. Kidd.
— After blowing up a helicopter as it prepares to depart from South Africa.

Charles Kidd: Mrs. Whistler did want pictures of the Canal for the children.
Albert Wint: How kind of you, Mr. Kidd. The children will be so thrilled.
— As Mr. Kidd honors Mrs. Whistler's request for pictures of the Canal in Amsterdam after her body is recovered from the drink.

Charles Kidd: Two's company, Mr. Wint...
Albert Wint: And Tree's a crowd, Mr. Kidd.
— After cutting down Shady Tree with a bullet to the brain.

Albert R. Saxby: Hold it! Don't go in there. We didn't get the real diamonds, so we need Tree alive.
Charles Kidd: That's most annoying...
— When Saxby confronts Wint and Kidd outside of Shady Tree's dressing room, unaware that they had already done the deed.

James Bond: Saxby?
Willard Whyte: Bert Saxby!?
James Bond: Yeah...
Willard Whyte: Tell him he's fired!
— After Saxby is gunned down by Whyte's bodyguards in the middle of an assassination attempt.

The Man with the Golden Gun

Francisco Scaramanga: Mr. Fat has just resigned; I am the new Chairman of the Board.
— After killing his employer, Hai Fat. He has Fat summarily buried in a nearby mausoleum, remarking how "he always did like that mausoleum".

Mary Goodnight: I knocked him out cold.
— After cryogenically freezing an engineer to death.

The Spy Who Loved Me

Karl Stromberg: Tell them the burial was at sea.
— Referring to the scientists he killed by blowing up their helicopter over the ocean.

A View to a Kill

Max Zorin: So, does anyone else want to drop out?
— After a businessman gets Thrown from the Zeppelin.

Licence to Kill

Felix Leiter: Where's my wife?
Dario: Don't worry. We gave her a nice honeymooooon.
— After Sanchez's goons have raped and killed Della.

He disagreed with something that ate him.
— Note left on a horrifically mauled and still-breathing Felix Leiter.

Sharkey: God, what a terrible waste.
*Bond glares at Sharkey*
Sharkey: Of money.
— After Killifer falls into Sanchez's Shark Pool.

Mook: What about the money?
Sanchez: Launder it.
— After Sanchez puts Krest into a hyperbaric chamber filled with money and cutting the air supply with an axe.

GoldenEye

Major Boothroyd: Along with the rest of him.
— Adding to Bond's remark about how "the writing's on the wall" after demonstrating an exploding pen on a test dummy.

Die Another Day

Miranda Frost: I can read your every move!
Jinx: Read this... bitch!
— Jinx stabs Frost while the latter shields herself with a book called "The Art of War"; note the Pot Hole to Pre-Mortem One-Liner over what Jinx says right before the stabbing.

Jinx: I think I broke her heart.
— Her subsequent remark to Bond about said stabbing.

Skyfall

Kincade: Welcome to Scotland.
— Greeting the Mook he had just killed.

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