Quotes / Bond One-Liner

"Anything can be penetrated with the proper tool."

"You're a dangerous fool who should be sent west. You have forgotten the face of your father."
Roland Deschain (to an unconscious Cowboy Cop), The Dark Tower: The Drawing of the Three

Hellsister, go to Hell.

"Friendship is science, bitch."
Lollerskates, Dream Team: Episode 3

"Good riddance, evil beasts."
Master Mao, Power Rangers Jungle Fury, Now the Final Fury

Hercules: That'll leave a stink.
Icarus: Stop it, no one likes a mocker.
Hercules: But that's how secret agents talk!
Disney's Hercules: The Animated Series, "Hercules and the Golden Touch"

"Another bunch of bad guys bite the dust. Am I good or am I good?"

Avitus: [after destroying a Falcon Grav-Tank] The Falcon has fallen to Earth.
Cyrus: Poetic, Avitus.
Dawn of War II

Shot everyone in the town, and all these corpses lyin' round, and he goes and makes a glib comment. What kind of person would do that, at that time? He goes "I'm outta here, this place is dead anyway - zing!" Fortunately though, in this situation, everybody was dead so no one was offended.

There were a lot of things [Vimes] could say. "Son of a bitch!" would have been a good one. Or he could say "Welcome to civilization!" He could have said "Laugh this one off!" He might have said "Fetch!"
But he didn't, because if he had said any of those things, then he'd know that what he had just done was murder.
The Fifth Elephant, after Sam Vimes has killed a werewolf.

If he’d been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, ‘That’s what I call sorted!’ Since he wasn’t a hero, he threw up.
Going Postal, after Moist killed a banshee with a mail sorting machine

"Apology accepted, Captain Needa."
Darth Vader, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but if you have nothing fun to say after shooting a crossdressing nurse through a door and two panes of glass, you probably have no business shooting anyone, period.

Rock, Black Lagoon, after a would-be assassin gets blown up.

Danny Butterman: How's Lurch?
Nicholas Angel: He's in the freezer.
Danny: Did you say "Cool off"?
Nicholas: No, I didn't say anything, actually.
Danny: Shame.
Nicholas: There was a bit earlier on that you missed when I, uh, distracted him with the cuddly monkey. And then I said "Playtime's over", then I hit him with the peace lily.
Danny: You're off the fucking chain!

Goku: Wow Freezer, you really were a cut above the rest.
Freeza: Ugh.
Goku: But too bad you didn't make the cut.
Freeza: Ugh.
"That was my first triple homicide. Didn't know I was supposed to prepare jokes."
John Reese, Person of Interest, "Prisoner's Dilemma".

"Say hello to Leonora, motherfucker."
Franklin Clinton to Peter Dreyfuss, Grand Theft Auto V

Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

"Bison, you're off the air!"
Guile to Bison, Street Fighter

Gunman: The Set sends its regards, law—
[gunman gets a knife in the back]
MeLaan: Here's a tip, kid. Save the wisecracks until your foe is dead. Like this. See how easy it is?

Gruber: Ugh! Don't say "salt" to me! Zese mercs are so bland! Zey could use-
[Seras blows away Gruber and his friend, screaming.]
Seras Victoria: How's that for some salt?! [hesitates, then angrily grunts] Goddamnit! What's the point in comin' up with all these one-liners if'n they're all dead when I say 'em?
Vampire Nazi #3: To be fair, it wasn't really all that funny to begin with!

Kevan: I challenge you, Elodie! A life for a life!
Narration: Without a further word, you direct the full force of your magical wrath at the Earl of Io. There is a horrible scream, and the smell of burning flesh.
Elodie: I decline.

Trope Namer Remarks

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    Sean Connery 

Dr. No

Sergeant, make sure he doesn't get away.
— As he leaves a dead Mook who smoked a cyanide-laced cigarette in the custody of a security guard at the Government House in Jamaica.

Construction Worker: How did it happen?
James Bond: I think they were on their way to a funeral.
— After a pursuing hearse fails to pass the obstacle Bond passed on a mountainside.

From Russia with Love

She should've kept her mouth shut.
— After helping Kerim Bey shoot a man hiding behind a picture of Anita Ekberg.

You won't be needing this, old man.
— After taking his stuff back from the recently killed Red Grant.

I'd say one of their aircraft is missing.
— After shooting down a SPECTRE helicopter.

There's a saying in England: Where there's smoke, there's fire.
— After setting some SPECTRE boats ablaze.

Tatiana Romanova: Horrible, horrible woman.
James Bond: Yes, she had her kicks.
— After Tatiana kills the shoe-knife wielding Rosa Klebb.


Shocking. Positively shocking.

Auric Goldfinger Forgive me, Mr. Bond, but, uh... I must arrange to separate my gold from the late Mr. Solo.
James Bond: As you said, he had a pressing engagement.
— Referring to the gangster that Oddjob killed minutes before.

Felix Leiter: You okay, James? Where's your butler friend?
James Bond: He blew a fuse.
— After Bond has electrocuted Oddjob.

Pussy Galore: What happened? Where's Goldfinger?
James Bond: Playing his golden harp.
— After Goldfinger is sucked out of his private jet.


Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She's just dead.
— After taking out Fiona Volpe by having one of her henchmen kill her.

I think he got the point.
— After killing Vargas with a harpoon gun.

Domino: I'm glad I killed him.
James Bond: You're glad?
— After Domino saves Bond by killing Emilio Largo.

You Only Live Twice

Tiger Tanaka: How is that for Japanese efficiency?
James Bond: Just a drop in the ocean.
— After Tanaka tosses some henchmen into the ocean.

Bon appetit!
— After tossing a henchman into Blofeld's piranha pool. (Later used by Dalton in Licence To Kill after stuffing a henchman into a maggot tank.)

Diamonds Are Forever

Welcome to Hell, Blofeld.
— After killing a Blofeld clone by pushing him into a pool of hot mud.

Tiffany Case: My God, you just killed James Bond!
James Bond: Is that who it was? Well, it just goes to show no one's indestructible.
— Bond feigning surprise upon learning that he had killed "himself".

It's funny... all the things one wanted to say to one's brother, when it's all too late.
— His alibi just before boarding a plane to Los Angeles with the body of his "brother".

My condolences, gentlemen!
— As he leaves Slumber, Inc. as Shady Tree tries to question him about the whereabouts of the real diamonds; unusual in that no fatality is involved, but the pwnage in Bond's voice is still there.

Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Right idea, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: But wrong pussy...
— After Bond offs another Blofeld clone.

Well, he certainly left with his tail between his legs.

    George Lazenby 

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Gate crasher! I'll leave you to tidy up.
— After knocking out a man and leaving him in the trashed hotel room.

He had lots of guts!
— After someone gets disemboweled by a snowblower.

He's branched off!
— After Blofeld hits a tree during the final bobsled chase.

    Roger Moore 

Live and Let Die

Solitaire: Where's Kananga?
James Bond: He always did have an inflated opinion of himself.
— After literally blowing up Kananga.

Solitaire: Now what are you doing?
James Bond: Just being disarming, darling.
— After taking out Tee-Hee and tossing his metal arm out the window.

The Man with the Golden Gun

I'm afraid I'll have to owe you.
— Non-lethal example, after pushing a kid merchant who fixed Bond's boat into the river.

The Spy Who Loved Me

What a helpful chap.
— After dropping Sandor to his death after the latter mentions pyramids.

He was cut off - permanently.
— Commenting on club owner Max Kalba getting killed while answering the phone.

All those feathers and he still can't fly!
— After a motorcycle riding henchman runs into a cloud of feathers and falls off a cliff.


Hugo Drax: You missed, Mr Bond.
*Mook falls out of tree, dead*
James Bond: Did I? As you said, such good sport.
— After Bond shoots a would be assassin during a hunting trip.

Play it again, Sam!
— After Bond chucks Chang out a window and onto a piano.

Hugo Drax: Why did you break up the encounter with my pet python?
James Bond: I discovered it had a crush on me.
— After Bond kills the python Drax sent to kill him.

Hugo Drax: At least I shall have the pleasure of putting you out of my misery. Desolated, Mr. Bond?
(Bond slowly raises his hands, allowing his wrist-mounted dart launcher to shoot Drax)
James Bond: Heartbroken, Mr. Drax. (opens airlock door) Please, allow me. Take a giant step back for mankind.
(sends Drax into space)
Dr. Goodhead: Where's Drax?
James Bond: Oh, he had to fly.
— After Bond launches Drax into outer space.

For Your Eyes Only

He had no head for heights.
— After Bond kicks Locque off a cliff.


"Thank god for hard currency."
— After surviving a stabbing attempt thanks to a wad of bills in his jacket pocket.

A View to a Kill''

He had a fly in his soup.
— After his French contact Aubergine gets stabbed by a poisoned butterfly puppet.

    Timothy Dalton 

The Living Daylights

Kara Milovy: What happened?
James Bond: He got the boot!
— After taking out Necros by taking off his boot.

He met his Waterloo.
— Remarking on Whitaker being crushed to death by a statue of the Duke Of Wellington.

Licence to Kill

Switch the bloody machine off!
— After dropping Dario into a grinder.

Looks like he came to a dead end.
— When bumping into Heller, who Sanchez killed with a forklift.

    Pierce Brosnan 


Alec Trevelyan: You're late, 007.
James Bond: I had to stop in the bathroom.
— After coming out on top in a bathroom skirmish during the mission at the start.

The writing's on the wall?
— After Major Boothroyd demonstrates an exploding pen on a test dummy; as seen in the "Other Characters" section, Boothroyd proceeds to complete the one-liner.

She always did enjoy a good squeeze.
— After taking out Xenia Onatopp.

Tomorrow Never Dies

Backseat driver!
— After ejecting a would be assassin out of a fighter jet.

They'll print anything these days...
— After shoving a Mook into a printing press, resulting in red pages coming out.

The World Is Not Enough

I never miss.
— After killing someone who played the You Wouldn't Shoot Me card and told him he'd miss her.

    Daniel Craig 

Casino Royale (2006)

Yes, considerably.
— When his target is Killed Mid-Sentence while explaining that while the first kill is always difficult, the second kill is easier.

That last hand... nearly killed me.
— After surviving an assassination attempt during his game.

Quantum of Solace

Slate was a dead end.
— A meta example; M realizes what had happened when Tanner relays Bond's message to her.


Last rat standing.
— His Ironic Echo to Silva after knifing him during the climactic showdown.

    Other Characters 

Diamonds Are Forever

Albert Wint: Curious how everyone who touches those diamonds seems to... die.
— After shoving a scorpion down a dentist's shirt.

Pilot: Stop right there! Who are you?
Albert Wint: Dr. Tynan sent us.
Pilot: Why didn't he come himself?
Charles Kidd: He was taken sick.
Albert Wint: Bitten by the bug.
— Referring to the aforementioned dentist they killed.

Charles Kidd: If God had wanted man to fly...
Albert Wint: He would've given him wings, Mr. Kidd.
— After blowing up a helicopter as it prepares to depart from South Africa.

Charles Kidd: Mrs. Whistler did want pictures of the Canal for the children.
Albert Wint: How kind of you, Mr. Kidd. The children will be so thrilled.
— As Mr. Kidd honors Mrs. Whistler's request for pictures of the Canal in Amsterdam after her body is recovered from the drink.

Charles Kidd: Two's company, Mr. Wint...
Albert Wint: And Tree's a crowd, Mr. Kidd.
— After cutting down Shady Tree with a bullet to the brain.

Albert R. Saxby: Hold it! Don't go in there. We didn't get the real diamonds, so we need Tree alive.
Charles Kidd: That's most annoying...
— When Saxby confronts Wint and Kidd outside of Shady Tree's dressing room, unaware that they had already done the deed.

James Bond: Saxby?
Willard Whyte: Bert Saxby!?
James Bond: Yeah...
Willard Whyte: Tell him he's fired!
— After Saxby is gunned down by Whyte's bodyguards in the middle of an assassination attempt.

The Man with the Golden Gun

Francisco Scaramanga: Mr. Fat has just resigned; I am the new Chairman of the Board. He always did like that mausoleum. Put him in it.
— After killing his employer, Hai Fat.

Francisco Scaramanga: Now, that's what I call solar power.
— After destroying Bond's plane with a solar-powered laser cannon.

Mary Goodnight: I knocked him out cold.
— After freezing an engineer to death by kicking him into liquid nitrogen.

The Spy Who Loved Me

Karl Stromberg: Tell them the burial was at sea.
— Referring to the scientists he killed by blowing up their helicopter over the ocean.


Vijay: Game, set, and match!
— After beating a mook by using a tennis racket. Vijay is played by Vijay Amritraj, who is a professional tennis player.

A View to a Kill

Max Zorin: So, does anyone else want to drop out?
— After a businessman gets Thrown from the Zeppelin.

Licence to Kill

Felix Leiter: Where's my wife?
Dario: Don't worry. We gave her a nice honeymooooon.
— After Sanchez's goons have raped and killed Della.

He disagreed with something that ate him. (P.S. We have plenty more jokes as good as this.)
— Note left on a horrifically mauled and still-breathing Felix Leiter, borrowed from Live and Let Die.

Sharkey: God, what a terrible waste...
*Bond glares at Sharkey*
Sharkey: Of money.
— After Killifer falls into Sanchez's Shark Pool.

Perez: What about the money, Patron?
Sanchez: Launder it.
— After Sanchez puts Krest into a hyperbaric chamber filled with money and cutting the air supply with an axe.


Major Boothroyd: Along with the rest of him.
— Adding to Bond's remark about how "the writing's on the wall" after demonstrating an exploding pen on a test dummy.

Xenia Onatopp: I had to ventilate someone.
— After riddling an overhead ventilation shafted whose cover had been disturbed, assuming it's where Natalya hid. She's actually in the cupboard.

Die Another Day

Miranda Frost: I can read your every move!
Jinx: Read this... bitch!
— Jinx stabs Frost while the latter shields herself with a book called "The Art of War"; note the Pot Hole to Pre-Mortem One-Liner over what Jinx says right before the stabbing.

Jinx: I think I broke her heart.
— Her subsequent remark to Bond about said stabbing.


Kincade: Welcome to Scotland.
— Greeting the Mook he had just killed.