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Quotes: Bond Villain Stupidity
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    fiction 
"Tell me the whole plot
There is no way you can get caught
You seem to tie such a good knot
Just leave me here so I can rot
Forget the fact we ever fought
I'm thankful I haven't be shot"
Goldentusk "James Bond Theme"

Senor Senior Sr: A proper villain always leaves his foe when he's about to expire.
Senor Senior Jr: Why?
Senor Senior Sr: Well, it would be bad form just to lull about, waiting for it.
Senor Senior Jr: Why?
Senor Senior Sr: Tradition!
Kim Possible, "Animal Attraction"

Blake: I know.
Ty: Leaving the enemy in the deathtrap, ignoring him? A henchman of questionable loyalties watching over things?
Blake: I know.
Ty: Don’t tell me you did the monologue, explaining things.
Blake: I did, kind of.
Ty: Damn it, Blake.
Pact

Dr. Evil: All right, guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism! *mechanism starts* Close the tank!
Scott: Wait, aren't you even gonna watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No. I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. Why?
Scott: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out! We can do it together, it'll be fun!
Dr. Evil: Scott... You just don't get it, do you. You don't.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Lucius: ...So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this death ray and I'm an epitaph. Somehow I manage to find cover, and what does Baron von Ruthless do?
Bob: (snickering) He starts monologuing.
Lucius: HE STARTS MONOLOGUING! He starts, like, this prepared speech about how "feeble" I am compared to him, how "inevitable" my defeat is, how "the world WILL SOON BE HIS!", yadda yadda yadda...

"Mr. Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you."
Hugo Drax, the villain from Moonraker

"Do you ever notice how bad guys always leave at these critical moments? Oh well." (leaves)
Dr. Gene Splicer, Tiny Toon Adventures, "Hare Raising Night"

"Now untie him, Wormtail, and give him back his wand."
Lord Voldemort on Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Turanj: I've become impatient. We penetrated this vessel, overcame their defenses, and in the moment of the kill, you forced us to stop. Now we play these incessant games. It's time we took our trophies and moved on.
Karr: Your lust for the kill has blinded you, like many young hunters. If you took the time to study your prey, to understand its behavior, you might learn something.
Turanj: There is nothing to be learned!
Star Trek: Voyager, "The Killing Game"

    on works 
Chris: Riddler also looks at Batman and goes “Whyyyy can’t I killlll youuuuuuu?” And if I had to guess, I’d say it probably has something to do with not shooting him in the head when he had the chance about 20 minutes ago.
David: I wish I could have shot this movie in the head 20 minutes ago.
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Batman Forever

"Anyway, it's time to kill off the Jedi. Oh, good. How do they go about it? Well, they start pumping an obvious deadly white gas into the room; this alerts them to danger. Well actually, blowing up their ship does. I guess they should've pumped in the gas first, and once the Jedi were dead, then blown the ship up? ...Just tell 'em to leave! That you don't wanna negotiate! And then, when their ship flies out of your space dock, SHOOT IT WITH LASERS. Also, we need to consider the fact that killing two Jedis that were sent there as peaceful ambassadors would be a pretty heinous crime in the eyes of the Galactic Senate, the organization that runs everything (including space taxes). I mean, you could just claim they never got there. But now you've got the burned wreckage of their ship inside of your horribly-burned docking bay."

Anyhoo, as one of the Minions poses with Gadget for a picture, he puts some sort of homing beacon on Gadget’s hat. This makes it so that Claw can control Gadget’s every move; Claw forces Gadget to do things like throw his Coke and fries everywhere. Instead of, say, forcing Gadget to say “Go-Go Gadget Handgun” and shoot himself in the face, thus ridding himself of Gadget and ridding me of this shit-ass movie. Nope, Claw forces Gadget to squirt mustard everywhere and...break dance?
Matt Briner in his review of Inspector Gadget 2

Q. But... when he has her alone, why doesn't he just shoot her or stab her or something? Instead of trying to shoot down the plane when she's on board? And then the next day, he tries to bomb the plane. Wouldn't it be simpler if...
A. Nothing is simple, Penrod; you do not buy a woman dinner in Paris only to shoot or stab her.
Roger Ebert, review of The Concorde—Airport '79

"The Smoking Man doesn’t want Mulder killed because they would risk turning his work into a crusade, but by taking Scully away from him in such a soul crushing way they have sent him a warning to do as he’s told. Unfortunately they don’t understand quite who they are dealing with. Mulder is not the sort of man who is told how to behave and will be off chasing the next X-File as soon as possible. And shagging vampires."

(Mother Brain is spinning out of control and is vulnerable)
Kevin: Into the Warp Zone! It's too dangerous to finish her off!
Nostalgia Critic: We're contractually obligated to keep stalling for three more seasons!

Jafar chortles with glee as he orders Aladdin's death for the second time, and this go-round it HAS to stick because everybody is chained up. He's so happy about it, he changes into Jasmine again the morning of the execution to reveal his true identity to Aladdin RIGHT before he loses his head, won't that be poetic? In doing this, he leaves the room, and ten thousand defeated villains screamed in agony from Hades, "ARE WE ALL DOOMED TO REPEAT THAT MISTAKE FOREVER??"

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