Funny / Todd In The Shadows 2019 Episodes

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Specials

The Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2018 Part 1

• Todd says composing the best list was actually really easy, for one reason: all ten slots are "Bitch, I'm a Cow".
• His attempt to recall Dua Lipa's "New Rules" goes awry:
  One: Don't pick up the phone
  Two: Just want to be with you
  Three: Make her open the box
  Four: Nothing wrong with me!
• Todd describing Khalid as "The Muppet Babies version of Frank Ocean."
• The Call-Back to the aforementioned "Bitch, I'm a Cow" joke, sandwiched between two low-key songs because Todd just wanted some levity. It worked.

The Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2018 Part 2

• Here's how the #2 slot segment starts:
  Todd: (voiceover) Number two!
  (cut to Todd looking disgruntled)
  Todd: ... ... ...goddamnit!
  (hard cut to-)
  Drake: I'm upset!
  • This is then followed with a long, angry rant by Todd on just how sick he is of Drake, and how he shouldn't have to hear him again for years... before seguing into "Nice For What". At which point, rather than simply cut to a clip as usual, we see him quietly get up, leave his apartment... and go perform the song at karaoke.
  • Also funny is the big "NOPE" caption that appears over Todd's mouth when it gets to the N-Word Privileges lines.
  • Towards the end of the segment, Todd accidentally starts singing "In My Feelings" over the beat. The video promptly overlays this with a buzzer and a huge "WRONG" caption.
• "[Ariana Grande] fucks hard enough to convert you to feminist theology."

Halsey - "Without Me"

• Todd recalling how that to his surprise, Halsey herself replied to him and The Rap Critic discussing "Bad At Love" on Twitter (yes, that actually happened). This freaked him out so bad that Todd apparently blacked the whole thing out and referred to the decade-younger-than-him Halsey as "ma'am".
  • The Call-Back when he says that "Without Me" doesn't tell him anything about Halsey, "even if we're close personal friends now!"
  • And the review ends with "By the way, if any of you idiots tweet this review to her, you're blocked immediately!"
• "I listen to mainstream music" Caption: NEEEEEEEEERD
• Todd recalls his long-running allegory of how Nirvana seemed to end the popularity of several rock acts after the release of Nevermind, noting that something similar seemed to happen with pop when Lorde released "Royals".
  Todd: Basically, Lorde killed Superman and now we're in some kind of post-pocalyptic dystopian comic instead."
  • Since Halsey really capitalized on the movement Lorde started, Todd can't help but compare the two. This includes the way they both "pronounce vowels weird." Todd's imitation is hilarious.
    Lorde: seeooooounds—
    Halsey: graaaaayyyyyyt—
    Todd: Eeeeyyyyooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu.
• When discussing Halsey's collaborations with her once-boyfriend G-Eazy, Todd makes it clear that he's not impressed with him.
  • First it's his name:
    Todd: How can you call yourself G-Eazy when there's already a Jeezy? That's a rap name your grandma would come up with!
  • And later, when he mentions that during the collaborations they made during their relationship, Halsey and G-Eazy seemed to try to present themselves as "this generation's Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake":
    Todd: I will be damned if I let this generation's Britney Spears be G-Eazy! ^note Particularly funny because the bait and switch makes sense in the context of the review - it's set up by Todd noting that Halsey included a lyrical Shout-Out to Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me A River" in the song ("you don't have to say just what you did, I already know...")
• The music for The Stinger: "Admiral Halsey notified me..."

Ariana Grande - " 7 Rings"

• Shortly after using clips from The Nightmare Before Christmas to illustrate the issue of cultural appropriation:
  Todd: It's complicated, you should try to be respectful of other cultures, don't kidnap Santa Claus.
• The song is being accused of appropriation... of theater geek culture (due to sampling The Sound of Music).
• Todd pointing out he can't relate to "7 Rings", because he always looks bad and refuses to spend what little he has on luxuries.
  Todd: I hoard my money like a dragon. If all my forks went missing, I'd just eat soup for the rest of my life.
• "Jennifer Lopez served as inspiration to ABSOLUTELY NO ONE"
• Todd's summation of how the song uses rap's usual symbols of material wealth, without getting what they symbolise:
  Todd: It's basically "I'm on a Boat"!
• When trying to wade into the controversy of weaves and how they are tied to the black community in particular, Todd reveals that his primary source for info on that is reruns of Martin.
  Todd: I don't think, at least; I'll watch some Friends reruns and see if it comes up, but I'm pretty sure it's not a thing [with whites].
• Todd explains why he doesn't apply the same criticism to Post Malone when he brags about his wealth:
  Todd: 'Cause he's a sad boy who looks like shit! What else has he got? Let him have this!
• Most of the things listed in the verses are material possessions, but a couple lines don't really fit - Todd thinks this means Ariana's purchases included an ATM and a copy of Breakfast at Tiffany's on DVD.
• The ending song? "Eat the Rich".

Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus - "Old Town Road"

• "Hey everyone, Todd in the Shadows here, Internet's laziest music nerd, coming late to the conversation yet again."
• Todd claims that rather than over-played, this song has been over-talked, to the extent it might as well be called:
  Old Town Road (or, What We Talk About When We Talk About Country and Rap and Historical Racist Exclusion in the Music Industry and the Concept of Genre as a Whole)
• When Todd mentions how Lil Nas X is an unknown, he notes that Lil Nas X's name is literally a mash-up of the names of three famous rappers.
  Todd: He could have been named Jay Luda Biggie!
• After spending most of the video saying that he finds the song pretty average, and describing Billy Ray Cyrus (who is featured in the remix) as a joke who benefits more from the song than the other way around, he comes around Cyrus's last verse, and after playing it, he essentially says that the verse is what tied everything together for him.:
  Todd: [deep, irritated sigh] ...So, this song is really good, and I like it a lot...
• What follows next, when describing his astonishment at Cyrus's contribution, is epically hilarious:
  Todd: How the hell does the "Achy Breaky" guy suddenly have grit and dignity? When did that happen? Like, what's next? Is the next big reggaeton star gonna be Snow? Like that'll—
  [shows news article titled "Reggae singer Snow makes surprise comeback with Daddy Yankee"] ^note Referencing Daddy Yankee's "Con Calma", which features Snow.
  Todd: [Stunned Silence] What universe am I living in?!

Lil Dicky - "Earth"

• He opens by giving a long explanation of how succeeding in musical comedy takes a lot of talent, since you have to be able to write good music and come up with jokes that hold up to repeated listening...
  Todd: And then there's Lil' Dicky.
• Todd speculating that Lil' Dicky's constant jokes about having a small penis is some kind of humiliation fetish.
• He points out that the charity single is the single most reliable way to bring a large group of celebrities together, using such examples as Live Aid, USA For Africa, and H.Bomberguy's Donkey Kong 64 stream.
• His reaction to the song's failed attempts at being funny.
  Brendon Urie: I'M A FAT FUCKING PIG!
  Todd: Ha ha, that pig said "Fuck". Good solid joke there. Took Dicky weeks to get the wording right, I'm sure.
• When Todd points out how quickly the song fell down the charts, his picture of the charts shows the song to be ranked only one space higher than "Baby Shark".
• Todd ends the review by promoting his own charity... to get Lil' Dicky to learn a second joke.

Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco - "ME!"

• The "Todd Alarm" gag is back, though this time he's reading "those little alien comics". This time, the alarm doesn't go off, and Todd is baffled ... until he listens to Taylor's new song.
  Todd: Yeah, it can wait.^note (The opposite reaction to his "Look What You Made Me Do" review) Eh, guess I'm not doing anything.
• On "Old Town Road" blocking her from the #1 Billboard spot, he refers to a Simpsons clip:
  Cooder: Well, there's no shame in being beaten by the best.
  Spud: But he didn't seem all that—
  Cooder: We were beaten by the best, boy.
• Todd names the single as one (ultimately failed) example at what he names the "I'm Back, Bitch" single and lists its criteria: It must be 1) by one of, if not the, most famous person alive, 2) the start of a new album cycle, and 3) be about nothing except "look at how awesome I am". He later adds a fourth qualifier, not required, but important to a "I'm Back, Bitch" single's success: It needs to sound humongous, like it's steamrolling you.
  Todd: You should feel actively bullied by it...cause it's not gonna get you on substance! Remember: About Nothing. NOOOTHING [Shows four meme images centering around the word "Nothing"]
• His reenactments of his response to Taylor's previous lead-off singles.
  • "We Are Never Getting Back Together"
    Todd: Whaaaa? [mild hand flapping]
  • "Shake It Off"
    Todd: Taylor's rapping? Whaaaa?!? [little higher hand flapping]
  • "Look What You Made Me Do"
    Todd: Bleeaaaugh!! [flaps hands so hard he falls over]
  • Noting later that this single is not warranting such a reaction:
    Todd: Why is my monocle still firmly in my eye?
• Todd saying he gets freaked out by Taylor Swift's duets, because he expects her to break up with them before the end of the song.
• His declaration that Brendon Urie is undergoing full Adam Levine-ization.
  Todd: And look, Levine is on his way out. Someone's gotta fill that void and cash those checks. Cha-ching!
• "This sounds like the Glee version of itself."
• Todd's final opinion: "Think spelling is fun? Well, here's a letter for you: D. Maybe even D minus."
• The Stinger song, "Mi Mi Mi" by Serebro.

Ed Sheeran & Justin Bieber - "I Don't Care"

• Todd describes Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber:
  Todd: ...two men with long, fascinating career arcs that I've been following for a long time. And by the way, if you combine the two of them, you get one Shawn Mendes.
• "I'm a YouTuber. I haven't talked to a real person in two weeks."
• Using a clip of the chorus every time the phrase "I don't care" comes up.
• Todd describes Bieber's extreme musical adaptability as being musical tofu.
• "I was kind of amazed at just the sheer amount of gay subtext there is in this song. Specifically, I'm amazed that that amount is zero."
• Todd reads a tweet from Bieber where, if you don't know the context, it just sounds like he's apathetic about his own music:
  "It's out. I don't care"
• The credits song: "We Care a Lot".

Taylor Swift - "You Need To Calm Down"

• Todd pointing out that three weeks ago, he was asking if the Taylor Swift moment was over. Turns out, it's not. It's still Taylor Swift's world and we're just living in it.
  • He then states it felt like she dropped "You Need To Calm Down" just to spite him personally for asking such a stupid question.
• In continuing his Running Gag from previous episodes, he now describes "Old Town Road" as sitting on a throne made from the skulls of its vanquished challengers.
  • As a testament to Todd's predictions, after "ME!" failed to budge it from the charts, he mused that "Calm Down" might finally be the thing that replaces "Old Town Road". It wasn't.^note It managed to get up to #2 before spending a couple of weeks at #13, then dropped even further, while Old Town Road still sat at #1. Todd's fans have since joked in the comments that a rap song about cowboys by a gay black man outdoing a so-so "ally" song by a straight white woman was a good Pride gift.
• "2019 is turning into a banner year for think-piece bait pop singles."
• I'M PERFECTLY CALM!
• "I, and also the gays, have too many haters."
• Describing "You Need To Calm Down" as Taylor reaching Michael Scott levels of making it about herself.
• Comparing Katy Perry and Taylor reconciling to the end of Chicago, where two rivals team up to revive their careers.

Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus, & Lana Del Rey - "Don't Call Me Angel"

• Todd listing a few female-focused action series from The '70s: Police Woman, Bionic Woman, Wonder Woman, and Woman Woman.
• Todd is baffled by the decision to put Lana Del Rey (a famously downbeat and languid artist) on a song with straightforward pop stars like Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus. He compares it to the scene in Addams Family Values where Wednesday joins the preppy summer camp, and says that the song itself is like if James Taylor collaborated with Iron Maiden: the former is drowned out by the latter.
• Todd is confused by the lyric "Don't you know that I bite when the sun set?" and asks if the new Charlie's Angels movie the song is supposed to be promoting is really going to be "Charlie's Vampires", where Charlie himself is He Who Must Not Be Seen because he's always inside a coffin.
• The credits song: "Calling All Angels".

Lewis Capaldi - "Someone You Loved"

• The video's description simply reads: NOT GOOD.
• As soon as he finishes the opening piano, he immediately gets blunt and says that the song is the worst #1 song of the decade. Talk about not wasting any time in getting to the point.
• At one point, Todd just loops Lewis Capaldi's throaty scream for an extensive moment, just as he expressed his distaste for these vocals. The way the sound is looped, it's like he's is putting you through an endurance test to make this point clear.
  • He also intersects Capaldi's screaming with clips of "The Most Annoying Sound in the World" and a screaming goat.
• While complaining about the extremely basic use of The Four Chords of Pop:
  Todd: Using no chords would be - (beat) - well, obviously it would be different and unexpected, you don’t hear a lot of solo acapella songs.
• When criticizing the lyrics:
  Todd: "This is not beautiful heart-rending poetry, this is dialogue from Attack of the Clones!"
  • He then proceeds to edit Anakin's "I'm in agony..." speech over the song's instrumentals.
    Todd: Actually, I think Anakin is doing better than Capaldi!
  • Later, Todd explains why the overblown delivery makes it even worse:
    Todd: The way you make understatement work is by understating it. You just let it sit there in devastating silence... you don't SCREAM IT! AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!! "I was getting used to you" is not something you wail in agony like you've just nailed your penis to your leg you fucking hack!
  • Also, when he criticizes the lack of emotional complexity in the song and pretty much sums it up like this:
    Todd: I'm SAAAAAAAAAD!!!!! I'm SAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!
• Noting how the melody is near identical to Numa Numa.
• The video ends with Todd superimposing Capaldi's face over a clip of Malcolm Tucker (played by Lewis' distant relative Peter Capaldi) delivering one of his staple "The Reason You Suck" Speeches.
  • Peter Capaldi was also the star of the original music video, but Todd mentioned another version was shot because Peter Capaldi is mostly unknown in America. And he quickly cut-off all the Doctor Who fans by saying: "You guys don't count."

The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2019 Part 1

• The bumper music for this year's list is "Leave Me Alone" by Flipp Dinero. Think of it as Todd telling the songs in the worst list to leave him alone.
• Referring to Luke Bryan as a "walking Bud Light commercial of a man".
• "This is YK Osiris, distant relative of the Cyruses."
  • Dunking on YK Osiris' singing voice:
  Todd: It's like if someone gave Aziz Ansari an R&B career.
• Illustrating Marshmello's habit of ruining multiple music genres with a clip of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man smothering New York City in white gunk, with the caption "ACTUAL MUSIC".
  Todd: [Marshmello] aptly named himself after empty white fluff... It's like everything he touches turns to soft, featureless mush.
  • "There are many interesting things about Kane Brown. He's one of the leading lights of a new breed of country star, who try to bring some level of romance back to the genre. He's the first Black country star in decades who, you know, didn't come here already famous from another genre. And there are many interesting things about Marshmello. [Beat] ...He has a stupid hat."
• Todd dubbing Lil Baby with Charlie Brown's teacher and saying he goes beyond "mumble-rap" into "whale-song rap."

The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2019 Part 2

• Illustrating the bad critical reception to Ed Sheeran's collaborations album with the clip from Airplane! of people queueing up to slap the hysterical passenger, with the caption "CRITICS REVIEWING NEW ED SHEERAN ALBUM".
• "Lewis Capaldi sings like a cross between Gilbert Gottfried and an angry Velociraptor."
  • Todd explains why "Someone You Loved" is only at #4, since during his review he called it the worst No. 1 hit of the decade:
  Todd: Well, the truth is, most of the songs I really hate don't make it all the way to number one. So... good job America?
• Introducing his #3 pick:
  Todd: Well, time to throw some shade. ^note Referring to the band SHAED.
  • In Todd's opinion, "Trampoline" is too dull sounding to be associated with jumping on trampolines. So he he tries the lyrical conceit out on a different song: Sia's "Chandelier"
    IIII...
    Wanna jump...
    On the trampoliiiiine!
  • Todd describes the song as one of those he considered sounded like they were tailor-made for an ad, in this case comparing it specifically to a commercial for an Apple laptop. Cue the ad for Apple's MacBook Air. Like all entries, its section ends with the final shots of the song's music video, but in this case, it also gets the final shot of said ad.
• Just the way Todd vents upon listing Maroon 5 for "Memories".
  (one second of "Memories" plays)
  Todd: ONE. YEAR. THAT IS ALL I'M ASKING FOR! Just ONE. GODDAMN. YEAR. where I don't have to put your stupid smirking face on the Worst List, Adam Levine! Just. TAKE. A. YEAR. OFF!
• Todd deliberately misspells the title to Ariana Grande's "break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored" as "bake up witcha guffwin, i'm bored".
  • Also from the Honorable Mentions, Todd proposes new lyrics to Ava Max's "Sweet but Psycho":
    Oh, it's catchy but basic, a little bit basic...
• Lil Dicky's "Earth" takes the #1 spot, and Todd refers to reviewing Dicky's music as "The first time I felt like I had a nemesis."
  • Todd also is stunned that Lil Dicky also shot supplementary videos in hopes of educating people on climate change. Like he's equipped to talk about it.
    Lil Dicky: Today, I'm going to educate you...
    Todd: (sarcastically) ARE ya, now?!
  • Todd mentions that Dicky is working on a show (Dave, then in development), and that, due to the general car-crash nature of Dicky's career, he'll be sure to watch it. This actually ended up being Hilarious in Hindsight, as not only has the show been renewed by FXX multiple times and praised for its writing and acting, but the main focus of reviewers' criticism has been Dave Burd/Lil Dicky's own stand-in character, considered by many to be a rude, shallow asshole that takes advantage of his friends.

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