Funny / Todd In The Shadows 2022 Episodes

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Specials

The Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2021

• On Olivia Rodrigo's "I only have 2 real friends" line in his #10 pick, "Brutal":
  Todd: Oh, look at little-miss-two-friends over here! I'd have killed for a fake friend at your age, you little brat!
  • In the same segment, when briefly discussing "deja vu":
  Todd: [Joshua Bassett]'s an actor, Olivia. His dating pool is probably gonna be other actresses. It's not like you're gonna be dating a plumber next.
• For his #6 pick, baby keem and Kendrick Lamar's "Family Ties", Todd praises the video's pop-up image structure by popping into the shot. And then gets annoyed when the next image covers him.
• Doubles as Awesome: making the obvious connection between the Senator in the video for #5 (Megan Thee Stallion's "Thot Shit") and Ben Shapiro, Todd straight says to "pancake that motherfucker", segueing back to the video, where Megan drives a garbage truck that hits the senator.
• On Todd's #1 pick, "Meet Me At Our Spot" by Willow Smith and Tyler Cole:
  Todd: And so, 11 years after her first hit, [Willow] managed to re-invent herself in young-adulthood as a badass punk rocker, not only shattering her image, but also changing the face of this genre. For a long time, we assumed that being a pop-punker meant being a certain demographic. And Willow proved that you can play punk rock even if you are stupefyingly rich.

Megan Thee Stallion & Dua Lipa - "Sweetest Pie"

• On radio stations resorting to playing "We Don't Talk about Bruno" due to the lack of hit pop songs so far this year:
  Todd: Imagine in 1994 if instead of Boyz II Men, Top 40 was stuck playing "I Just Can't Wait to be King". That’s the level of desperate we're at right now.
  • And on the topic of "Bruno," Todd brings up Megan Thee Stallion's added verse for its performance at the Oscars, referring to it as "the funniest thing [happening there]. —Well, besides the other thing."
    Todd: What are these lyrics? Feel like she's going to rap about how she beat Shaq.
• Soon after, Todd introduces the song and its collaboration:
  Todd: Well, to understand where this song fits in the modern pop landscape, we have to look at the careers of both artists as they have navigated through—whythefuckisitcalled"SweetestPie?" Why? Why-why-why? I hate it already.
• Things don't get any better after Todd sees the incredibly bizarre music video, culminating with Dua Lipa taking a piece of pie...out of her own face.
  Todd: Dave [Meyers, the music video's director], I don't know what you think "pie" is a reference to, but it's not the face.
• The hook is something of a Mixed Metaphor, combining the pie innuendo of the title with multiple innuendos about driving (e.g. "I'll drive and you just lay back / I got the flavor that lasts"):
  Todd: Are you... driving the pie? Is it a pie-mobile?
• Referring to Megan as "step-on-my-balls-Madam" hot.

Beyoncé - "Break My Soul" vs. Drake - "Falling Back"

• Todd starts out the song comparison video in his standard way, playing snippets of both songs as a medley on piano. Much later in the video, he reveals that he didn't actually play "Falling Back" at all and was just playing random notes at the time, to show how unmemorable Drake's song actually is.
• After the usual lead into the song comparison, Todd plays one note of "Falling Back" before declaring Beyoncé's song superior, and flat out stating that Drake's song sucks and has been universally panned.
  Todd: ...No point in dragging that out!
• Todd points out that, when he started writing this review, both singles were new and on fairly even footing on the Billboard Hot 100 (#15 and #14, respectively). In the time since, "Break My Soul" moved significantly higher to #7, while "Falling Back" cratered off the charts entirely; Todd even shows a screenshot of his find box in Chrome, revealing that he searched the page just in case he missed it, and it still wasn't there.
  • Not acknowledged, but perhaps even funnier: in the summer of 2022, not even a surprise new Beyoncé single could manage to supplant Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)" after the Colbert Bump it received from Stranger Things.
• Todd mentions that Drake's new album is named Honestly, Nevermind — which he's not happy about, because he wants to NOT go for the easy punchline.
  Todd: Let me work for it, at least.
• Todd stating that the most degrading thing a popstar can do for promotion is joining Tiktok.
• Since Beyoncé prefers to let her music talk for her, Todd recommends that you "buy one of her records and use it like a Ouija Board."
  Todd: [places a Ouija board & pointer on a copy of Homecoming] Was the real identity of "Becky with the good hair" Idina Menzel?
  [He begins moving the planchette to "Yes"]
• His speculation on why both Drake and Beyoncé both picked House as their genre.
  Todd: Why house music? Where did that come from? And the answer to that, is... actually, beats the fuck outta me.
• Todd cattily, yet not inaccurately, calls "You Need to Calm Down" — wherein Taylor directly acknowledged her queer fan community — as "one of the few instances where Taylor got to an idea before Beyoncé, although one of the many instances where Beyoncé did it better".
  Todd: Oh, I'm mean.
• Unable to see any obvious joke or meaning in the "undented" heterosexuality of the music video concept for "Falling Back", where Drake marries 24 women at once, Todd is forced to conclude that the man isn't kidding: he really wants a harem.
  Todd: [as Drake] "Here I am, marrying 24 Instagram models! Doesn't that look ridiculous? You can't have that many wives!" [beat] "Unless..."
• Todd admits that, while he was impressed a decade ago with Drake making honest, melancholy songs that mined his painful experiences with women (with "Marvin's Room" given as an example), it's now beginning to feel more like "prestige-drama fatigue" — the protagonist won't ever learn his lesson, and won't change his behavior or grow as a person, so why continue to watch? He even uses footage of Mad Men of Megan confronting Don over his affairs to do so.
  Todd: What I'm saying is, this song makes me think I should start watching Ted Lasso instead.
• Todd makes the case that "Break My Soul" is the first Beyoncé song in a long time not conceivably about being Beyoncé, because it starts with the POV character quitting her grueling, thankless nine-to-five job, which is something she could never possibly do ("her job is BEING BEYONCÉ!"). And she can't even keep that pretense up thematically, because the de-facto video for the single is behind-the-scenes footage of Bey's latest VOGUE photoshoot.
  Todd: [...B]eyoncé's professional situation and yours are not anything alike! Need I remind you: THIS is the album cover?
  [He throws up the Renaissance cover: Beyoncé near naked, in a diamond-encrusted harness, sitting on a holographic horse sculpture]
  Todd: THIS woman does not work a nine-to-five.
• Claiming that Drake sounds like "when you try and sing a random block of text." Todd then tries to do this with the Gettysburg Address to prove his point.
  • Furthermore, Todd claims Drake's falsetto is "just Stuart from MADtv", and that when he heard it playing in his car, he took it to a mechanic because he thought his brake pads were going.
• The ending song: "Take This Job and Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck.

Sam Smith & Kim Petras - "Unholy"

• Todd was initially hesitant to review the song because it was written by Sam Smith (who is gay/nonbinary) and Kim Petras (who is transgender) and he, as a straight white guy (as far as YOU know), didn't want to worry about saying something wrong and putting his foot in his mouth. As an example, he points out how objectively funny it is to see "posh theatre kid" Sam Smith dressed as an auto-mechanic and then worries that "non-binaries are bad at auto-repair" might be some kind of obscure stereotype.^note One helpful commenter informs Todd that it's not non-binary people who are bad at auto repair, it's theater kids.
  Todd: [As Sam Smith] You NEEEEEEED new brake pads!
  • After the video came out, Todd teasingly noted as further "evidence" that many viewer comments laughing about the joke, including ones from supportive non-binary viewers, spelled it as "break pads".
  • What is it that finally convinces Todd to review the song without 2 years of focus testing? That, as a straight white cis man (as far as we know), the standards are lower and he'll get points so long as it looks like he's at least trying.
  Todd: Your lowered standards are noted.
• Todd saying that the trans situation in 2022 is "Not fantastic."
• "Well, I'm sure it's good for trans visibility but as a song, unfortunately I gotta say that this song is a giant steaming pile of- actually, it's kinda growing on me."
  • Near the end of the review, after breaking down the song: "I don't know, I think I've talked myself back out of liking this song."
• Saying how disappointed he is that the song is not, actually, from Smith's point of view rather just them hearing it from a third party, proclaiming "LET. SAM. SMITH. FUCK!"
  • Todd says that, if he was the friend in the song, his response would be not angry, just disappointed that not only is his friend cheating on his wife, he's having such a boring and stereotypical affair on top of that.
  • He then adds that since Smith's character is not the one having sex with the guy in the song, the song is just about a guy having sex with Kim Petras, which he doesn't find noteworthy, considering that her previous album already had the rather demonstrative title of Slut Pop.
    Todd: Well, what else is new?
• Todd has a funnier idea for Sam Smith's role in the song that better fits the "unholy" motif: they should be a priest listening to someone confess to having an affair with Kim's character and getting aroused. A large number of comments under the video are people saying how much better (and sexier) Todd's version of the song would have been.

The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2022

• Todd starts the list by reiterating a point he's expressed in multiple prior lists: that he feels that the Worst lists are often too negative and he's thought about ending the practice (helped by the fact that he claims that they are the hardest ones to produce). He decided not to end it this year, however, when he saw that the Rolling Stone Twitter account was writing insipid "YASS QUEEN"-style live-tweets to fluff up popular artists during this year's Grammy Awards, and upon looking it up, discovered that the account is in charge of a Rolling Stone writer whose negative reviews inspired him back in the day. Todd decided at that moment that if his only options are being negative like always or fluffing up the egos of millionaires, then he is not changing one bit.
• Todd admits that, while he likes the concept of "Surface Pressure" from Encanto (a song he wants to tread very lightly around for how beloved it is, but ultimately doesn't), it's the awkward lyrical styling of Lin-Manuel Miranda that really grates on him.
  Todd: Like, I can hear him biting his lip all over this.
  • Related to that, Todd notes that this is especially notable when any lyric veers closer to rap, putting as an example the lyric, "Was Hercules ever like, 'Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus?'"
    Todd: ...No, Lin-Manuel, Hercules was never like: [starts doing overacted rap hand gestures] "Yo, I don't wanna fight Cerberus... homie, my homeboys, word!"
  • Todd also criticizes Jessica Darrow's singing abilities:
    Todd: It also doesn't help that they gave it to a voice actress who can't sing. Or at least not while doing that character. [imitating Darrow's deep, throaty voice] Urnghdr the surfrrs.
• A couple moments from the segment about the #9 entry, Jack Harlow's "First Class":
  • Todd mocking the hype Harlow gets as the "biggest new superstar of music" by playing a clip of two NBA referees failing to figure out who he is in a game he attended.
    Referee #1: Who's Jack Harlow?
    Referee #2: I have no idea.
    Todd: Don't worry. You don't really need to know.
  • Todd immediately jumping on one of the lyrics:
    Jack Harlow: Tryna come the same day as Jack? Rethink it
    Todd: Peh! That's funny because Bad Bunny did drop [his album Un Verano Sin Ti] the same week as Jack Harlow and then ate his lunch all year.
• As the lead-in to his #8 pick, "Music For A Sushi Restaurant" by Harry Styles, Todd plays a clip from Don't Worry Darling, specifically focusing on Styles's much-maligned performance as Jack:
  Alice: What if this place is dangerous? What if—
  Jack: [yelling in a very thick London accent] STOP IT! No, not everyone gets this opportuni'y.
  Todd: At some point this year, the Harry Styles Experience took a real sour turn for me. [...] All the Don't Worry Darling crap didn't help.
  • Comparing Harry Styles singing an on-the-nose Title Drop in "Music For A Sushi Restaurant" to Thom Yorke singing:
    Todd: (as Thom Yorke) This would make good exit music for a film!
  • Saying that the only dance he can see people doing to the song is the Bully Maguire.
  • To cap off the entry, Todd comes up with one last explanation that satisfies him on why he dislikes the song—a pretty vicious analogy that it's "Uptown Funk if Michael Bublé wrote it".
• As proof that Doja Cat likely didn't even know whom she was dueting with for Todd's #7 pick, Post Malone's "I Like You (A Happier Song)", he points to her use of N-Word Privileges, and afterwards throws up a picture of Post Malone with "(hwite)" over it. ^note Calling back to her song on the film's soundtrack and stating earlier that Dr. Luke might be her own Colonel Tom Parker.
• With Meghan Trainor back in the spotlight with "Made You Look", Todd has a new 2022 description for her musical style — "White Lizzo". Todd then retracts that, feeling it's an insult to Lizzo and also to white people in general.
  • Todd comparing Lizzo and Meghan's body positivity — feeling that Lizzo calling herself sexy with her trademark command makes it indisputably true, while the response to Meghan's plastic posturing would be more of an awkward and unsupportive "I'm glad you think that..."
  • Todd mercilessly, but not inaccurately, compares the song's "plastic Stepfordy version of the early Sixties" to a Christmastime Gap ad.
    Todd: Boy, I hate it when songs sound like commercials. And before we continue, this video was brought to you by Curiosity Stream!
• In the run-up to "Victoria's Secret" by Jax, Todd brings up another song she released, "U Love U", noting that the chorus uses the melody from "I Love You"... as in, the song from Barney & Friends^note Which is itself set to the children's song "This Old Man", a series aimed at preschool children infamous for having zero appeal outside its target demographic. In short, for some inexplicable reason, she sampled a song intended for toddlers.
  Todd: This is a real song. And I am playing it for you as cover for me not liking this artist no matter how positive her messages are.
  • One of Todd's criticisms with the song is that its subject matter (talking about how Victoria's Secret's long-time former CEO was a man) was too much of an easy target, as not only is the brand on the downturn,^note for example, while not explicitly mentioned in the video, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show was discontinued after 2018 but the song even coincided with the release of a documentary criticizing the company. Some comments in the video not only corroborated this (some noting that "Victoria's secret is that she's a man" was a long-running joke for years when talking about the company), but also that it feels, in the word of one comment, "like a uni student just came up to me in outrage about Kony 2012."
• The setup for the number 4 section: All throughout the video, Todd was using "abcdefu" by Gayle as the bumper music between slots. And once the song ends this time...
  Gayle: ♫ A-B-C-D-E-F U! And your mom and your sister and your job ♫
  Todd: (voiceover) Number 4!
  (cut to Todd)
  Todd: (Beat) ...I didn't tell you to stop. Do it again!
  Gayle: ♫ A-B-C-D-E-F U! ♫ {text on screen: "#4: "ABCDEFU, Gayle"} ♫ And your mom, and your sister, and your job, and your broke-ass car ♫
  Todd: I have been waiting to have my Worst list bumper music also be a Worst list entry for so long. At last.
  • He shows a picture of Gayle standing in a pot while discussing how Gayle is called an industry plant.
  Todd: I don't feel "plant" is a useful criticism, even for Gayle who's such a plant she may as well hop around with her feet in a pot of dirt. I admire a well-kept garden, I don't care who planted it. The problem is that it's just an ugly plant.
  • After criticizing how the phrase "A-B-C-D-E-F U!" was stupid and not clever as an insult, he notes that the worst part of it is that it was just one example out of "a whole mess" of songs that used nursery rhymes as a hook. Besides this one and the aforementioned "U Love U" by Jax, Todd brings up another song, made by Leah Kate, that uses the melody of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"... except that this one is called "Twinkle Twinkle Little Bitch". Yes, apparently "U Love U" wasn't an isolated case.
• This YouTube comment that Todd shows to demonstrate how people lie about him all the time:
  Ryan: I heard Todd in the Shadows once stalked Lil' Jon at a Best Buy until his bodyguards wedgied him and threw him into a discount fridge
  • In the same segment, Todd finds himself taken aback by the sudden tonal shift in the chorus of "Truth About You", his #2 pick: "Why can't we meet in the middle / Call it even, call it a truce / 'Cause if you quit telling lies about me / I won't tell the truth about you"
    Todd: "Can't we find a way to get along and work things out? 'Cause if you don't, I will FUCKING END YOU, YOU FUCKING SLUT! YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU!"
  • Wanting to get more of an idea about who Mitchell Tenpenny is as an artist, Todd decides to listen to his previous songs. Cut to Tenpenny crooning "I don't deal with bitches no more", in that same syrupy tone of voice, in front of a Gadsden flag. Todd promptly throws up his hands with his mouth open in disbelief.
  • A little wordplay to close out the segment:
    Todd: Like I said, I don't know who this Tenpenny guy is, but he ain't worth a dime!
• From his Dishonorable Mentions:
  • His comment on "emo girl" by Machine Gun Kelly ft. WILLOW, where he describes Kelly alongside The Chainsmokers as "guys I stuck my neck out for and rewarded me for it by making bad music even I can't defend", is a twofer when you remember that it can also apply to WILLOW, as he put her "Meet Me at Our Spot" at #1 on his Top Ten Best Hit Songs of 2021 list.
  • Todd commenting that Morgan Wallen sounds like he's honking like a goose at the end of "Broadway Girls".
  • Todd just letting a clip of Rita Ora's overwrought a cappela version of "Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)" from Rock in Rio play out, then simply saying "I do not think I need to add commentary to this."
  • Even in a year without any notable Maroon 5 releases, Todd puts up a placeholder with their name in the honorable mentions (complete with a black screen and a "--" where the name of the song should be), followed by his reaction of sheer joy upon realizing one of his most hated bands went through the year without doing anything of note:
    Todd: Did Adam Levine not release anything this year? Except the awful sext, which honestly just makes me feel bad for him? Really? No Maroon 5 songs? Are we free? Are we finally free? Oh, that feels good!
• The way Todd feels about his number one worst song of the year, "I'm Good (Blue)" by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha (which heavily samples Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)"), is a big departure from how he's felt about his previous #1 entries, which makes it even funnier:
  Todd: Sometimes the worst song of the year is the one that makes me the angriest, and we've already had several songs that annoyed or offended me, but I found that sometimes, it's better to just be detached about it. An umpire doesn't get angry at a wild pitch, he just calls it and moves on. And that's how I felt when I first heard the song that I would eventually put at the top of the list. Just, "Huh, the worst song of the year. There it is."
  ["I'm Good (Blue)" begins to play]
  Todd: [as the song continues in the background] I mean, look at me. Do I look angry? I'm not.
  Bebe Rexha: ♫ I'm good, yeah, I'm feeling alright... ♫
  Todd: [as Rexha continues singing in the background] I'm not enraged, I'm not hurt. I'm just up here like a teacher, looking at a two-sentence essay a student scribbled down before class. No hard feelings. You just failed!
  [the song abruptly stops]
  Todd: [sounding genuinely amused] You failed the assignment! See me after class!
  • Todd scathingly referring to Rexha as "a clip art stock photo of a pop star".

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