Funny: The Most Popular Girls in School
- Brittnay's voice.
- Lunch Lady Belinda's obsession with Cameron Van Buren.
- Rachel's crying.
- Deandra's nickname for Brittnay: "Handjob Girl."
- Every time Mackenzie shouts.
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- Trisha being concerned about who's watching the door while Deandra and Mackenzie are arguing.
- The noises Deandra makes while she's in the bathroom stall.
- "Have fun smelling my poops, bitches!"
- Brittnay's complete and utter hatred of Saison Marguerite and her tendency to say "how you say" before words she "clearly" understands, including French words.
Brittnay: Really?! You're really asking how to say "ménage à trois?" IT'S A FUCKING FRENCH WORD YOU LITTLE BITCH!
- Brittnay informing Saison that she also lets boys "fuck her in her butthole" and not her "growler."
- "What the fuck is a growler?"
- Brittnay yells at Rachel Tice when she starts talking about Gossip Girl, and tells her to "go eat a roly-poly like [she] did in the goddamn third grade". Rachel then starts crying and runs away. Brittnay's reaction?
Brittnay: SHUT THE FUCK UP, RACHEL TICE!
- All three of the Van Burens coming into the bathroom and asking the same question.
- Van Burens: "Where the fuck is Mackenzie Zales!?"
- And when Mikayla comes in, Trisha still wonders who's watching the door and how a nine year-old got in.
- Trisha throwing up in the stall when Cameron Van Buren, the most popular girl in the Blue Valley School District, says hi to her.
- Shay Van Buren stopping mid-sentence to cover her nose and commenting that the bathroom smells terrible to which Mackenzie tells Shay that somebody literally just pooped in there.
- Cameron threatening to tell all the colleges that Mackenzie applied to that she eats dick burritos if she doesn't apologize to Shay.
- Mikayla also threatening that she'll tell the elementary school that Mackenzie's younger sister has cooties.
Mikayla: You know Mackenzie, it'd be a shame if your sister fell down a flight of stairs.
- Mikayla also threatening that she'll tell the elementary school that Mackenzie's younger sister has cooties.
- Than. Just... Than.
Than: State, huh? More like, uh, gay.
- This exchange:
Than: Fuck you.Matthew: Suck my dick.Than: Okay.Matthew: What??Than: Drop trou'. I'll suck your dick right now!Matthew: (backs away) Dude, that was an expression. Right, am I right? That's an expression, right, guys? (the guys murmur assent) Not an invitation.Than: I'll suck ALL your dicks! Go 'head, push 'em together like a little sandwich, OMNOMNOMNOMNOM. I'm hungry for LUNCH!
- This exchange:
Than: You're gay!Tanner: Yeah, so?...Matthew: We accept you, bro.
- Deandra's big lunch order that ends up being a total of fifty-seven dollars.
(in reaction to the total, simultaneously)Shay Van Buren: What the FUCK?Cameron Van Buren: Holy shit!
- When Mikayla Van Buren introduces herself to Deandra in episode 5.
- Deandra: Jesus Christ! Is that a fucking gremlin!?Mikayla Van Buren: No...I'm a third grader!Deandra: Whatever, just no one feed that fucking thing after midnight.
- Cameron specifically referring to the war with the cheerleaders as a blood feud with "those DNA guzzling cheerleaders".
- Brittnay talking with her mother on the phone about her yeast infection.
- Brittnay: "I don't know, mom! WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE BREAD LOAF THAT'S BAKING IN MY VAGINA!?"
- When Brittnay meets Deandra:
- Deandra: "Hey."Brittnay: "Fuck off."
- Pretty much everything Bridget Tice says.
- Specifically, what she says to Judith.
Judith: H-hey, Bridget. H-how's it going?Bridget: Well, I'm 27 and I'm still living with my parents in Overland Park, I have an art history degree from a night school, my cat just died, I've lost twenty-five percent control of my sphincter muscles, I get a clicking sound in my jaw when I eat, I drive a 91 Dodge Neon, I have ovarian cysts, sometimes I pee the bed still, I have alopecia. The only man who wants to fuck me is my 48 year-old manager at Pizza Street. PS: He only has one ball. So I guess...better than you.
- Specifically, what she says to Judith.
- Throughout the show, all of the characters have mentioned certain events that happened in the third grade. The fact that said events are finally shown in this episode is hilarious.
- Even at nine years-old, Matthew Derringer had a really deep voice.
- "OH DERRINGERRRR!"
- Tanner's "speech inpwediment".
- Matthew: Figure out how to speak. You're nine years-old, god dammit!
- Brittnay yells at Matthew for hitting Shay with his Ryan Cabrera promotional hacky sack and ends up beating him up for it. This somehow leads to the two making out.
- When Shay gets hit.
- Shay: Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy— OW SONOFABITCH BASTARD!! WHY MEEEE WHY NOOW? DOES GOD HAAAATE MEEE? OW, JESUS CHRIIIIST!
- The episode opens with the cheerleaders in the bathroom having explosive diarrhea because Shay Van Buren mixed laxatives in their drinks. The whole scene and their lines are hysterical.
- Brittnay: Oh my God, I feel like I'm having an abortion!Mackenzie: Why would God do this to me??Trisha: Ehhhhhhhhh SQUIRTLE!Mackenzie: How the fuck did this happen??Trisha: (stops pooping) I think someone may have put laxatives in our pre-Pep Rally energy drinks (starts pooping) HIGHGUYGONNAMUFFIN!!!Brittnay: Really, Trisha? Really? YOU THINK?!Trisha: Well, I mean, that's just my best guess; I really couldn't say for sure without doing a— (starts pooping) WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH!!Mackenzie: GODDAMN YOU, SHAY VAN BUREN!!!!!!
- The cheerleaders announcing that they need to fuck Shay Van Buren's life.
- Mackenzie: Fuck it right in the ass!Brittnay: No lube!Trisha: Fisting!Deandra: With a big, black dildo!Mackenzie: THE BIGGEST.
- Shay and Mikayla arguing over how much Ex-Lax to put in the cheerleaders' drinks:
- Shay: Mikayla, I'm six feet tall and I weigh a hundred and five pounds, I'm pretty sure I know how to mix Ex-Lax into a drink.Mikayla: If you put too much in, the Ex-Lax will just sit on top, like semen on root beer.
- Brittnay's continuing annoyance with Saison and Blaine.
- Blaine: Oh, Saison. I wanted to know... do you want to go to prom with me?Saison: Oh, Blaine. How you say, oui.*Cut to Brittnay banging her head against the lockers*Saison: Oh, hello, Britt-a-nee. Is everything, eh, bon?Brittnay: Oh, it's just fine, Saison. I was just trying to put myself into a coma so I wouldn't have to listen to the two of you dipshits tryin' to talk and breathe at the same time.
- The sounds Trisha and Matthew Deringer make while french kissing.
- Brittnay's distrust of Deandra turning into a rant about one of her exes to no one in particular.
- Brittnay: I'm telling you, I don't trust that bitch.Trisha: Um, Brittnay, you don't trust anybody.Brittnay: Yeah, with good reason! The last girl we trusted was Taylor McDevitt!Mackenzie: Oh Jesus...Brittnay: We're supposed to be having a fun day at the Overland Park Community Center Pool. I turn my back for one second and Taylor's playing "Hide the Finger" with my FUCKING BOYFRIEND in the Lazy River!Trisha: I could totally go for a swim right now.
- Gay van Buren. It will haunt her forever...
- Cameron and Brittnay's little insult battle.
Cameron Van Buren: Oh hey, Brittnay, I didn't smell you there. How's your chlamydia circus doing?Brittnay: Oh, it's fucking gone thanks for asking! How's your fucking cock-eyed nipple?!Cameron Van Buren: It's looking both ways. I heard you farted in biology and it smelled like your dad's dick.Brittnay: Heard your fourth abortion was free. Gotta love those free punch cards!
- Trisha's completely epic "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Ashley Katchadourian at the end of episode 11 is one of the most simultaneously awesome, heartwarming and funny moments in stop motion history.
- Ashley Katchadourian: Oh hey Trisha, Jenna Dapananian said you wanted to see me.Trisha: Ashley. Katchadourian. You were supposed to be watching the door.Ashley Katchadourian: Oh, no, I know, it's just my family and I we went to Pearl Harbor for 2 weeks, so that's kind of a thing we do every year. Didn't you get the vacation request form I submitted before I-Trisha: You... were supposed to be watching the door...Ashley Katchadourian: Well, yeah, I know, but I submitted the form and I was going to-Trisha: You were supposed... to be watching the door! Ashley Katchadourian!!!Ashley Katchadourian: Um, Trisha, are you ok-Trisha: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN?! THESE ARE A LITTLE GIRL'S ARMS. A LITTLE GIRL WITH DREAMS. WITH LEGS. WITH A HEAD.Ashley Katchadourian: Really, Trisha, I-Trisha: SHE'S A PENCIL, SHE'S A SWIZZLESTICK. YOU CAN USE HER AS A POOL NOODLE. AND NOW I'M HOLDING UP HER ARMS. ARMS!Ashley Katchadourian:: Okay, but-but I was-Trisha: I'M HOLDING THEM BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T WATCHING THE DOOR.Ashley Katchadourian:: Uh- I....was at Pearl Harbor.Trisha: A GIRL LOST HER ARMS, ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN. A GIRL LOST HER FUCKING ARMS. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT HAS TRANSPIRED WHILE YOU WERE IN PEARL HARBOR?! SEEING THE FUCKING JAPANESE MUSEUM?! WE HAD OUR OWN PEARL HARBOR HERE TODAY. OH MY GOD. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?! YOU LITERALLY BOMBED US! LIKE THE JAPANESE YOU ARE! AND ME.....I'M BEN AFFLECK. AND I'M BEN AFFLECK AND I'M HOLDING TWO FUCKING GIRL'S ARMS. AND YOU'RE CUBA GOODING JR. DISAPPOINTING EVERYBODY.Ashley Katchadourian:: *cries and runs away*Trisha: LIVE WITH THAT!
- In the extra credits addition to this episode, some of Trisha's rejected lines are equally funny, which include her screaming about Deandra getting shots from a doctor, screams "AND NOW... I HAVE TWO BASEBALL BATS IN MY HANDS", saying that Ashley "rammed the goat" by going to Pearl Harbor, defining what just happened as a "shit show" and that people died today, and then finally:
Trisha: YOU NEED TO LIVE WITH THAT. YOU NEED TO LIVE WITH THAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! BURN THESE INTO YOUR EYES ASHLEY KATCHADORIAN! FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR CUNT!Ashley (crying): I-I was at Pearl Harbor!
- Then there are the outtakes of Brittnay and Cameron's fight, which include Cameron saying "I'm not the one who's vagina fucking slurps up all the oxygen like a black hole."
Brittnay: I heard your fourth abortion was free. Gotta love those fucking punch cards, right?Cameron: Mmm yeah, I didn't want to be your step-mom.
- When Saison Marguerite is now turn to take a picture with her prom date, Lunch Lady Belinda sighs for a million years.
Lunch Lady Belinda: For a picture!?
- Blaine prepares a speech for Saison...
- Theme of the prom: All Dogs Go to Heaven Under the Sea, in Hawaii.
- They've had some issues in the prom community that year.
- For some reason, they were able to compromise with Judith's idea for the theme which was the "All Dogs Go to Heaven" one.
- Brittnay telling Trisha that Ashley Katchadorian was indeed in charge of the snacks.
Brittnay: Uhm, you know she's in charge of snacks...right?Trisha: Wait, what?Brittnay: Ashley Katchadorian...is in charge of snacks.Justin: Jenna Darabond is in charge of the door.Trisha: (horrified) Oh my God. I've made a terrible mistake.
- Bridget Tice meeting Tanner Christensan's Camp Gay boyfriend Tristan McKee.
Tristan: You're probably familiar with Tanner's work. Well, probably not in the way I'm familiar with it. I'm talkin' about sex. Sweetie, what's the name of that thing you are again?Tanner: I'm the quarterback of the football team, Tristan.Tristan: So much technical jargon! Jesus Louises, leave us ladies in the kitchen where we belong, right Red? I'm just kidding, obvi!Bridget: I'm being paid fifty dollars to stand here, not to talk to Rip Taylor's bottom. Go away now.
- Bridget meeting Brittnay:
Bridget: Hello, and welcome t—Brittnay: Fuck off. (walks away)Bridget: Don't mind if I do. (walks away)
- Granted, the entire series could be considered as one, but certain moments stand out such as Lunch Lady Belinda's fangirl screech at the start of episode 13.
- Her obsession with Cameron is also hilarious.
- Lunch Lady Belinda and Bridget Tice converse about Cameron Van Buren:
Lunch Lady Belinda: She is so eloquent.Bridget: You smell like maple syrup and meat.Lunch Lady Belinda: What did your father do to you?
- Mackenzie finally has enough after the football team starts their totally random dance routine and interrupts the announcement of prom queen:
Mackenzie: Enough! Get OFF my stage!Matthew Derringer: Uh actually-Mackenzie: GETOFFMYSTAGE!!!Matthew Derringer: Yeahokayweregonnagetoffthestage.Mackenzie: I have been waiting all night-Trisha: Uh actually we've only been waiting for like thirty or forty-Mackenzie: Shut UP, Trisha! I have been waiting my entire life for one moment, and that moment keeps getting pushed back by dance routines, armless girls, and the bickering of blond idiots, oh and whatever the FUCK that is!Tristan: Oh me? I'm a Pisces but keep going I am loving this, you are so presh!Brittnay: Okay, I know you did NOT just-Mackenzie: SAVE IT, JUDAS!Cameron: I'm sorry, do you know who the FUCK you're talking to?!Mackenzie: DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING TO?! I am Mackenzie Zales! Head cheerleader, homecoming queen, PART-TIME MOTHERFUCKING MODEL!
- New character Desmond's debut screaming at leftover poop in the girl's bathroom, calling it "demon poop" and threatening it to:
Desmond: You stay away from me and you stay away from the children!
- Especially considering his ridiculously odd Jamaican accent.
- Trisha's horrified reaction to discovering someone left a positive pregnancy test on the floor of the girl's bathroom, after mistaking it for an iPod shuffle.
Tisha: Oh, oh right, wait WHAT? WHAT?! Oh... NO. NO! NO!
- The Running Gag of Brittnay getting punched in the stomach. Such as the first time:
Brittnay: What the fuck?!Trisha: You are one of my very best friends and I can not stand by and let you throw your life away like this! You're too young! You're too beautiful!
- Mackenzie Zales exclaiming "Jesus Fucking Yellow Penguins!" when she thinks Shay Van Buren is pregnant.
- The fact that Mackenzie discretely called Shay a bitch by saying "we heard the Van Buren family is adding another pup to their litter."
- Brittnay's utter euphoria when she learns the pregnancy test belonged to Saison Marguerite and she's having Blaine's baby, which she finds so completely hilarious she gets down on her knees and announces she's no longer an atheist, telling God he can "do with [her] as you will!" in thanks to making this the best day of her life.
- The cheerleaders trying to determine which one of them is pregnant - it can't be Brittnay because she's saving her vag-ginity for somebody special, Trisha's boyfriend has no penis or testicles, and Mackenzie is in the middle of her period (known to the other girls as "Shark Week").
- How Deandra chose her mis-matched prosthetic arms.
- The flashback showing how she wanted to look human/robotic is also a Call Back to how she wanted either diet coke or strawberry shake.
- Bridget Tice huffs paint fumes with homeless men behind the Ambica Food supermarket just to feel alive.
- Judith greeting the cheerleaders as if they were friends.
Judith: Hey, what's up sluts?
- There's something comically suspicious about Ashley Katchadourian.
- Matthew tries to teach Blaine how to take care of his baby by using a football as a simulation of said baby. He keeps throwing it.
Matthew: *football hits him on the head* Was that the goddamn baby!?
- Than, yet again, disturbs the football team in the locker room with his Transparent Closet-ness and Accidental Innuendos.
- To prove that he's straight, he asks Brittnay to have sex with him...and she agrees but only to make Blaine jealous...wow, she never let that go—that's, like, since Episode 2.
- Blaine thinking Saison's going to have the baby tomorrow- when she only found out she was pregnant the day before. He's got, like, 9 months.
Blaine: Nine months? That's like two years!Matthew: Not even close.
- Cameron arrives at the Van Buren home and, of course, greets with the signature "Hiiii!" and then her whole family follows, resulting in some sort of harmonic, acapella like, Valley Girl call; one's voice following the other then another.
Cameron: Suck it, bitches!!(The whole family cheers)
- And if you listen closely during he "HIIIII", you can hear someone laughing.
- For another Cameron moment, she first tells her family she just broke up with her 29 year-old boyfriend...for a brand new, 31 year-old one.
- This bit for it's randomness:
(after all of them gasped when they found out that Shay was inviting Deandra for dinner)Mrs. Van Buren: Wait, why am I gasping? I already knew that.Shay: Mom, are you talking to yourself again?Mrs. Van Buren: Girls night!
- Apparently, when Mrs. Van Buren was sober, she made her children... pray?
- Shay's "plan" on how to purchase wine:
Shay: Just this for today.Blake: I'm gonna need to see some ID—Shay: Never mind.
- Which can be seen here, is pretty basic but unfortunately, she's not old enough to purchase it, so yeah, the whole thing backfired. Stated a la Sarcasm Mode by Cameron.
- Cameron then tries her plan to buy the wine. Said plan is showing her boobs to the cashier.
- Then it's revealed that the cashier was her ex-boyfriend in high school whom she dumped for her 29 year-old boyfriend.
- After the rest of the sisters failed to successfully purchase it, Deandra decides to take matters into her own hands—her robotic one, might I add—and threatens Blake to sell it to her or she'll sell his organs to the black market for the delay that's getting in the way of her, supposed to be eating dinner right about now.
- Mikayla threatens Shay after she eats the last pack of Gushers, telling her to "sleep with one eye open". Mrs. Van Buren warns her about making threats she can't keep. When Mikayla assures her mother that she will keep it...
- Mrs Van Buren: "Hmm! You heard it, Shay. 'One eye open.'"
- The fact that Deandra automatically assumed that she'll be eating a dinner of "chicken-fried prime rib" at the Van Burens despite the fact that A: no one has ever made any mention of it, B: Cameron has no idea what chicken-friend prime rib is, and C: Mrs. Van Buren apparently only knows how to make corn dogs.
- We first see Mackenzie in the doctor's to see what's up with the bald spot. Also, she mistakes FPB* for a sexually transmitted disease and her reaction when the doctor revealed what it really means.
Mackenzie: What. the. FUCK?
- "We're definitely NOT going to put anything in your butt".
- She's then asked if she always finds herself in a stressful environment. We're treated to a flashback of Mackenzie's Christmas, Prom Night (her Villainous Breakdown scene), and at the launders when trying to get the stain off her uniform. Her reply: "Okay, maybe a little..."
- The doctor said it's not too late and nobody might've noticed it...Mackenzie thinks otherwise.
- The introduction of the new characters—the cheerleaders from Atchison—with the first one being Taylor McDevitt (specially mentioned in Episode 10).
- Then finally, the girls completely show up with Trisha mentioning Tanya Berkowitz and 'some other girl'.
- Brittnay's reaction to Tanya's... "insult".
- Brittnay: "Suck my dick, you cunt."Tanya: *gasp* "Wow, Brittnay. Aha, nice language. Who taught you to speak? Sailors?"(The Atchison cheer squad laughs)Brittnay: "...The fuck?"
- Trisha explains the laws that govern the malls of the great state of Kansas:
- The conversation between Trisha and Trisha, the two not finding out that they both have the same names until all the girls loudly exclaimed "TRISHA!!!" Then they discuss if they spell it with a T in the beginning.
- Brittnay describes them talking to the cheerleaders as if they're arguing with the cast of DuckTales, which then leads to Tanya's closing sentence that they'd be so lucky to argue with anyone from DuckTales and then describing Scrooge McDuck who is worth 4.4 billion dollars and despite having "fragile baby duck bones", still manages to dive in to a pile of coins every single day.
Brittnay: (Beat) What the fuck does duck bones have to do with anything?
- When Taylor nearly loses it after Brittnay comments about her... gag reflex. The actress' delivery is perfect.
Taylor: My what? Uh-uh, oh hell naw, LOOK HERE BITCH—Tanya: Taylor!
- And then this line:
Taylor: We'll see you at Nationals, Brittnay, where rest assured, I will be opening a can of whoop-butt on you! *leans in close and whispers* And by butt, I mean ass, as in the ass I'm gonna be fucking you in, bitch.
- And again Ashley Katchadourian trying to help other people with overthrowing the cheerleaders. Especially Trisha.
- Lunch Lady Belinda's back! She reminds Saison that she cannot sell anything that she cannot spell. She suggests rolls which she spelled as "R-O-O-L-S".
- "Oh wow, look; they're making reality shows about French people now? What's it called? 'Put your oui oui in my poo poo'?"
- Saison is starring in a reality TV show called "Babes Having Babies". The producer describes that it's like 16 and Pregnant but with hot chicks.
- Brittnay, no matter how much she has to suffer, is willing to pretend to be Saison's best friend so she could be on TV. No matter how many times she has to hear Saison "how you say" before every word she knows.
- Amberlynn Weggers, though has a brief appearance (as always), manages to lighten up someone's mood again.
Lunch Lady Belinda: Oh, you are the calm breeze in my fuckstorm of a life that I'm living. Thank God, we're having hotdogs today.
- All of Saison's favorite things when Shay asked Brittnay about them.
- The producer asks for three of the girls to kiss and say "We're having a baby!". They all say in unison with Saison coming behind due to saying "how you say" again.
- The producer notices that every girl in the school are attractive...
(cue Judith and Rachel Tice walking by)Judith: Hey!
- Shay Van Buren suggesting a spin-off of her own series. Her story began with saying that she was born into a dynasty of high school socialites up until ripping up the arms of one of her friends.
TV Producer: Who the fuck would wanna watch a show like that?
- Brittnay bangs her head in the locker. It was a long day. Than joins in.
- Trisha's ongoing freak out over her belief that she is either in Inception or The Matrix. Later followed up with her being told she is not on a show, as the links to subscribe to the YouTube channel pop up around her, leading her to beg the viewers to subscribe or keep watching or she'll die when the show ends.
- Shay Van Buren's rather apt description of Brittnay Matthews:
Shay: Brittnay Matthews is not my friend. Brittnay Matthews is a monster. If Satan himself crawled out of hell, landed on earth, and vowed to destroy all of humanity with a fiery apocalyptic plague, Brittnay Matthews would *BLEEP* him in the ass with his own pitchfork until he bled out and died. And if that doesn't paint a clear enough picture of her, I once saw her watch an entire sneezing panda video without cracking a smile once. I will not stop until she is revealed once and for all for being the two-time, potato-mouthed whore bag that she is.
- This is mixed in with her passive aggressively screwing with Mackenzie and baiting Brittnay to have a nervous breakdown over Saison's... well over Saison period, leading up to her having a Cluster F-Bomb on camera.
- Yet despite that, Shay suddenly asked to both Saison and Blaine if they want to watch Dora the Explorer.
- Brittnay's assertions that Saison suffers from clinical denial and suffering from delusions of being from France, and then politely saying she watches over Saison like a little, female dog, which is known as a bitch, so technically Saison is a bitch.
- Brittnay punching Than on the stomach. Really, Than, it's not a good idea to suddenly approach your girlfriend who just got out of a hissy-fit. Especially Brittnay.
- The first thing Blaine asks Brittnay when he shows up to the lunch table in the nicest tone.
Blaine: Hey Brittnay! Are you here to yell at us again?
- Jenna Dapananian's utter confusion about the situation with the rivaling cheer squad. It doesn't help that Mackenzie's saying things that would've made sense in context. Can't blame her though, we never got to see her back then.
- Mackenzie ends up Chewing the Scenery after her Soapbox Sadie speech.
Mackenzie: Let the world know that they may take our hair, but they will NEVER take our HOLLISTERRRR!!!Brittnay: Steve Madden!Trisha: Sbarro!Jenna: Uh, Clair— no, um...Ann Taylor's...loft...! Lofts!
- The cheer squad forming a pyramid...then falling all over themselves.
Brittnay: MOTHERFUCKER!!Trisha: Yup, that's a hernia.
- Also, her reaction to the accident:
- Meta example: There's also the fact that the sudden switch from stop-motion to merely a bunch of dolls stacked up and then collapsing makes it somehow doubly hilarious.
- Ashley Katchadourian is such a Bad Liar. And it's official; she's plotting something with the Atchison High cheer squad.
- No hard feelings at all between Trisha and Ashley.
- For another random Trisha moment— seriously, she should get her own page in here.
Trisha: What was the name of the Disney Channel show that Shia LeBouf was on?Deandra: Even Stevens.Trisha: Thank you... That has been bothering me all day. (to the others) It's Even Stevens guys!(Everybody else): Ooohh...
- The way she said, "thank you" in a really deep, drawn-out voice made it even funnier.
- The implications of Deandra's Dark and Troubled Past and her outrage over being told there was pie when there is no pie.
- Who knew Deandra's arm also acted as a Captain's Log?
Deandra: Note to self: corndogs and Mountain Dew, do not mix.
- Trisha 2's overall paranoia on everything she hears.
Trisha: Am I a Ghost Whisperer?Tanya: Trisha!Trisha: What?Tanya: There's no way you'd be the ghost whisperer(...) She's talking about the other Trisha.Trisha: (gasp) The other Trisha is a ghost whisperer?
- Her terrified gasps, for some reason.
- Ashley Katchadourian's "psst"-ing to the Atchison cheer squad to get their attention. Made funnier when she makes it louder, leading to a very impatient sounding "psst!" which sounded like "PSST-UH!!" and "PUH-SSST-UHH!!!!"; the strain in her vocal chords sounding so visible.
- Taylor McDevitt's description of Ashley's disguise: a lesbian Inspector Gadget.
- Ashely's lame attempts to gossip about something juicy regarding the Overland Park cheer squad. Then she shocks the Atchison cheer squad with Saison Margeurite's pregnancy... Too bad she's not even a cheerleader.
Taylor: When we said "we wanted dirt", we meant real dirt.Trisha: Yeah! As in, soil, like, the stuff in the ground, idiot!Taylor: No. Dirt as in, here's your life; here's some dirt; and then I'd ruined your life, with my dirt and now you dead...Trisha: ...in the ground, which is where dirt is! Full circle!
- "Word on the street is (insert unsuccessful juicy dirt here)"
- Then this:
- As Ashley explains her own squad's routine (in a pretty basic manner), Trisha responded saying to Tanya that they stole their routine. Tanya snaps, saying to her that "that's everyone's effing routine!" which shocked both Trisha and Taylor.
- Deandra singing while strolling around the mall. After the last few verses that include making a stop to the food court, she spots the Atchison cheer squad promptly exclaiming "AAAAHHH SATAN!!".
Deandra: My name is...um...um... Cinnabon! Yeah... Juliet Cinnabon!
- She tries to defend herself by saying she's not Deandra:
- With that in mind, Trisha expresses her total passion to her products which leads to Taylor bringing up that she had a fat freshman year.
- Tanya laughing at her own "human filth" joke while Deandra repeatedly explains that it's nothing short of an insult.
Tanya: (giggling hysterically) It's like you're trash and you're here!
- Upper-Class Twit Tanya refrains from letting Taylor speak even a scintilla of the word with "damn" in it. She was forced to change it into "gosh darn business".
- Trisha's continual obliviousness to Deandra's change.
- Even after all the warnings by Deandra, the Atchison cheer squad refuse to leave, so she threatened them that she will use her robotic arm against them to forcibly expel them from Overland Park. Taylor thinks she's bluffing. To show that she's not, she throws a "disguised" Ashley Katchadourian in the air, right into the fountain.
- Deandra didn't know as she always thought she was just a tiny flasher.
- Ashley screamed "FUCK!" afterwards. Almost unusual since she rarely cursed. With her boyish, almost monotonous, voice, it's funnier to hear her say such.
- Deandra didn't know as she always thought she was just a tiny flasher.
- "Goodbye Deandra... (whispers) I mean, Miss Cinnabon... wiiiink!"
- Ashley's closing dialogues, saying that she's still in the fountain. No one bothered to help her.
Ashley: Okay... No, I get it. I would walk away from me, too.
- "Extra Credit 19" reveals that originally Deandra would've gone off on a rant about her missing limbs, culminating in her asking the Atchison Squad "You think I was out in the woods, in the 1800s, with my paw-paw and my sister Laura Ingalls-Wilder?!" and "You think if a girl loses a limb in the woods she makes a sound?! Well she does." Apparently the voice actors had tried to rework this bit a few times but they just couldn't control themselves, so apparently they just cut it.
- For the first time, we see Tanner with Tristan going on a movie night.
Tristan: Anyone who spends a majority of his adult life in speedos and boots is definitely a bottom. Oh my god, I'm so bad!Tristan: OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO BAD!!Tanner: Thank you.Tristan: Bad boys, bad boys/What are you going to do?/What are you going to do when they come for you! Have gay sex—(both laugh)
- Though not much, Than's description of the prize he got from the claw machine.
Than: Cute little fuck.
- Tristan laughing that Than is out with a girl then noticing that he's the only one laughing until realizing it's not a joke. Tanner explains that, well, you know. Then their extended exchange with yeah's and oh's.
- "Oh sweetie, because you're gayer than Perez Hilton's asshole."
- Than explained why he never wore a shirt, then cut to Tristan with his shirt already off and then spinning it around with his arm.
- Brittnay and Tristan's little bonding together.
Brittnay: Alright, first of all; you are fucking adorable and I love everything about you!Tristan: My god, right back at you, bitch!Brittnay: Oh my god, you're the bitch, you bitch!Tristan: No, you're the bitch.Brittnay: Bitch!Tristan: Bitch!Than: Someone call me bitch...Tanner: Okay, we get it! You're all bitches.
- Soooo Mrs. Van Buren isn't really pregnant at all... Though she first thought that she just lost her baby. This leads to the sisters talking about abortion. Mikayla said this isn't something to be laughed about then Cameron talks back, saying that she's the reason why it should be legal. Their mom had this to say:
Mrs. Van Buren: Girls, girls! You're all treasures. Lovely, accidental treasures. Mistakes... but treasures!
- She's under the assumption of being pregnant...for two or three years?
- Her long, detailed activities that involves her consumption of alcohol...while the doctor and two of the girls look on and Mikayla shakes her head pitifully.
- As dramatic as the atmosphere the events that occurred, she then gives her daughters some money to send them off to Pizza Street. She decides to lie down for a while on the doctor's clinic
- Bridget Tice... that is all.
Mikayla: Byeeeee!!Bridget: Dieeeee!!(Shay Van Buren walks in)Shay: Hieeeee!!Bridget: Eugh... Welcome to Pizza Street.
Bridget: 'Get it? Get it? Sausage pizza...? I'm talking about my penis...'
- Her recalling with her manager's attempt to have his way with her:
- The bitch off between Cameron and Bridget. The latter maintaining her "composure".
Cameron: How about I come back there and KICK YOUR ASS!?Bridget: How about I give you an IQ test?
- The manager proudly stating that he's a survivor of testicular cancer while Cameron just stands, disgusted at every escalation of its mention.
- As soon as Bridget Tice mentioned the $4.25 all you can eat buffet, Deandra runs in with five dollars on her hand, telling her to keep the change.
- By the end, she picks a wide variety of pizzas. We know where this is going, even if she doesn't need to imply it.
- "So if I wanna call you a bitch, I'ma call you a bitch, ya BITCH!"
- Upon noticing that Mackenzie Zales is going bald, she quickly proceeds to tweet about it.
Mackenzie: YOU WHAT!!?!? I mean...you don't say!
- Tanya promised to help keep Mackenzie's stress levels to a minimum. She next mentioned running into her ex-boyfriend, Steven Carmicheal. Needless to say, she responded with much shock.
- Trisha and Trisha are really bonding on this one! It couldn't get any more hysterical. Especially when they declared that they have so much in common despite supposedly hating each other which leads to them grunting over the confusion and...um, noise making.
- The E-word? Funny thing is, nobody knows what it is. Dammit, Tanya!
- The No Fourth Wall ending strikes again! This time, with both Trishas.
- The cheer squad laughing at a joke Brittnay made while Mackenzie kept saying "I pissed a little!"
- The montage of Judith and Rachel doing their part-time jobs.
Rachel: (wham!) MY SHIN! (slumps) Too far.
- Judith trying to park while Rachel leads her from behind. Until...
- "WANNA BUY SOME KNIVES?" (Door slam)
- This is especially funny if you're familiar with the infamous Vector Marketing MLM scam, which involves selling Cutco knives.
- Lunch Lady Belinda also attended the try-outs. She takes off her coat, revealing that she's wearing their uniform and Mackenzie saw that it didn't even fit. Which meant showed her lower parts, causing Brittnay to puke on cue.
Lunch Lady Belinda: 2, 4, 6, 8! This is how I masturbate.Brittnay: Please, God no.
- Her cheer routines at the end.
- The "Epic Cheerleader Meltdown" video which is basically the uncensored version of Brittnay's Cluster F-Bomb from "Babes Having Babies".
- And Trisha apparently not realizing it was Brittnay in the first place until Brittnay points it out, at which point Trisha asks for her autograph.
- Jenna Darabond's lack of appearance has been noted by Mackenzie and Trisha, whom the latter mentions has not been tagged in a Facebook photo since the winter carnival and that her last Facebook update period was the simple line "I am the one who knocks". To that end, Trisha has had six freshman watching Jenna's house in 24 hour rotations.
- Trisha's reaction to Tristan:
Trisha: Wow, she was really beautiful.
- On the way to the locker room, Than kisses Tanner which was no surprise to anybody why he'd suddenly do that...
Matthew: Wow! So...this is happening.(...)Than: Yep. I'm gay.
- As is what happened ten minutes earlier, this was Than's weird way of proving his heterosexuality. To Brittnay, by the way.
- While Brittnay was looking at the views and comments of her "Epic Cheerleader Meltdown" video, Than told her about the parody videos which are none other than the winners of this contest.
- Special mention to the music video entry that was featured called "Fuck You Shay Van Buren".
- The clear assumption that Than is gay by Brittnay and then mentioning that every time they had sex, he cried.
Than: Oh my god, it winked at me!
- He said that he had allergies. To what? So Brittnay lifted her skirt up to show him her, uh... Anyway, it did not do so well judging from how Than reacted.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech by the football team... for a particular reason due to the guys using the F-word repeatedly but still sounding serious.
Justin: Listen, Jonathan! We're glad you're finally able to come out. But that has nothing to do with why we don't fucking like you.Matthew: We don't like you for a whole bunch of reasons.Tanner: Reason #1: You're a fucking douchebag.Blaine: You also like to give nicknames to yourself! And no one else!Justin: You also like to loiter in the boys' locker room.Matthew: You also like to make fun of people with congenital birth defects.
- Than, shoehorning so much the typical attitude of a gay person, it's insulting Tanner.
Than: We know, Tanner! Does everything have to be about you? God, calm yourself, girlfriend!
- Tristan showing up suddenly. Heaven knows how the hell he knew Tanner was making out with someone.
Tanner: Wait, did you run here all the way from Blue Valley?
Tristan: Ah! You bitch!(cue Bitch Slap)Than: Awesome!(Then they make out)Tristan: There! Now we're even.
- When Tristan found out that it was Than.
- Blaine is confused as always, but so is everyone else.
Justin: Very much so, Blaine... Very much so...Tanner: Don't worry guys. This...this is very much one of our normal Wednesdays.
- The last comment regard Channing Tatum's name which they think is a dumb name. Including the surname which meant he has a "double terrible name". Concluding it's a "stupid idiot name".
- TWAT: Television For Women & Tweens
Jeannie: Jesus titty fucking Christ!(...)Well, you smell like a skunk's taint.
- Also funny, is the 'A' part in TWAT is actually 'And'. Yet when it's laid out, it's presented as an ampersand.
- Grace Helbig as Jeannie Halverstad and while hearing her curse is funny—
- —the prior is her mentioning the channel they were being aired on which she mentioned without even a flinch on how awkward it would've been to say that.
Jeannie: We'll be right back after this. You're watching TWAT!
- Overland Park finally makes it to cheer nationals and then cut to all cheerleaders saying "Who the fuck are you?" to each other.
Brittnay: Jesus Christ. What a fucking shit show.Producer: Cut! ...I think you meant to say "what a fudging poop show"!
- Jenna still not up-to-date with everything.
Jenna: Is this a TV show?
- A Staten Island School For Girls cheerleader plans to wager with Overland Park but they're already rivals with another opposing team. She asks if Austin has a rival yet and when they said no, she promptly turns to them.
SISG cheerleader: Hey Austin! You bunch of hipster, cowboy, weirdos! Who the fuck are you!?Austin cheerleader: (from afar) Who the fuck are you, partner?
- Even better, the SISG cheerleader apologizes for making assumptions when she learns the Overland Park squad already has rivals.
- Mackenzie is not allowed to curse because she'll lose more of her hair and Brittnay is also not allowed because she's currently on camera. So it's up to Trisha to put those 'b-words' in their place. Before proceeding...
Trisha: I'm sorry about this.Trisha 2: (In a quasi-ominous tone) Do what you must...Trisha: I'll never forget you... (turns to them) You girls are shit. From a butt, that smells like...bitch. Which is what you are, as well, so fuck... in your butts. All the shit that bitches are, and- and you fuck that shit that's all in your butt and you put it in the f— the bitch that is your face (Brittnay starts to cut in), 'cause you're a fucking, butt!Brittnay: Trisha, please stop.Trisha: (sighs in relief) Oh my god, how did I do?Trisha 2: You're great!Trisha: You're ALIVE!!
- The boys also managed to make it to cheer nationals. Than followed Tristan and Tanner and he's dressed in more typical gay clothing which included a pink tie up top and red short shorts.
- When the girls are now on the verge of giving up due to Ashley Katchadourian secretly joining Atchison, Deandra shows up to save the day, already in their uniform.
Jenna: Oh great, the robot girl... Whatever the fuck that means!
- Trisha and Trisha 2 in The Stinger again, but this time, they have a freestyle cursing and having a big laugh whenever they come up with a dirty word. Trisha eventually came up with "gall bladder". They went along with it as the episode ended.
Trisha 2: Shove a penis in your gall bladder!
- Mackenzie's jab at Saison who made the cheer team, but didn't show up until the week of Cheer Nationals.
Mackenzie: And by the way, Saison, I'm really glad that this is the week you decided to start showing.
- That was actually a reference to her baby bump.
- It's still pretty funny the way she says it.
- That was actually a reference to her baby bump.
- Than's "disgusted" reaction to the two cheerleaders that walked by. It sounded so...forced.
Than: Oh gross, girls! Oh disgusting. Oh, the stomach— oh god, it's hurting. What about you Tanner?
- Deandra telling Brittnay she suddenly developed the vocabulary of Bob the Builder the minute she said "effing".
- "Bitch? Cunt? Little cunty bitch?"
- While in the flashback, Deandra specifically recalls throwing Ashley Katchadourian to the fountain along with her ongoing resolution that 'that flasher was not a flasher at all'.
- Deandra's naming conventions that always had something to do with some kind of apocalypse. These include: Piepocalypse 2013, Poopocalypse 2011 and Namepocalypse 2008.
- The Whoopsy Poopsy. Not only did she pooped her pants but also outside of her pants, on her cheer squad, and everything within a 30-foot radius. Then she pooped on the city-
- For some, the moment that sold this episode was Tanya's reference to Fullmetal Alchemist when she saw Deandra.
- The gasping Trishas. They talk about how it annoys some people. They gasp to an extent where Trisha coughs from too much air.
- Than in order to be friends with Tanner had to give a blowjob to some random guy who is implied to be Bert, Jeannie Halverstad's judging partner. What's more, Bert himself seemed to know little about whether he just got a blowjob from a man or a woman.
- Mackenzie's words of encouragement to her squad before they go on.
Mackenzie: Okay girls! Here we go. Don't fuck this up!
- Than and his "Character Development".
Than: Wow! My ex-girlfriend's on stage; my new gay friends are sitting next to me; I just blew a dude; a lot of character development for Than these days—Tanner: For the love of Micheal Bay, stop talking.
- Tanya and her Villainous Breakdown after losing to Overland Park, along with probably the most ear grating Cluster F-Bomb ever said by anybody in the show.
- While the guys are discussing the anonymous blowjob Tanner gave someone, Matthew's Team Dad qualities show. His hurried tone sells it:
Blaine: You mean a glory hole?Matthew: Blaine, Blaine, sweet Blaine... don't get involved.
- "Jesus, Jenna, when did you get so fucking dark?"
- "Yay, me with arms!"
- The savvyness that is Deandra:
Jenna Darabond: Can I help you?Deandra: Uh, yeah, I need to poop.Jenna Darabond: Oh, well, this is—Deandra: Yeah, I know, this is some kinda weird territorial cheerleader bullshit, but I have some actual bullshit that is about to become some hallway bullshit, so I don't really have time to deal with all your autocratic bathroom hierarchy bullshit, capiche?
- Deandra interrupts Jenna Darabond's evil monologue.
Deandra: Excuse me, are we just gonna skip over the part where everyone ripped my fuckin' arms off?!Jenna Yeah, didn't have anything to do with that. That was super fucked up.Deandra: Thank you!
- The cheerleaders using Hamlet to make analogies regarding the ongoing strife between the three seasons, with Deandra comparing herself to The Ophelia and stating "And maybe if everybody would have the chilled the fuck out Ophelia would have still had her goddamn arms!"
- Jenna Darabond's plan to change the concept of popularity that would ruin the cheer squad's reputation.
Mackenzie: Seriously, what the FFFFUCK, are you talking about?!Jenna: I'm talking about (puts on Nerd Glasses) Hipsterism...(camera zooms in while ominous chanting plays in the background)
- The Van Buren's simultaneous "Hiiii!" and Cameron decides to hold it for a few more seconds.
- Kaitlyn Zales's voice.
- Mrs. Zales's laugh. A duck, I tell you!
- Deandra's eating arm which is basically similar to her regular robot arm but with a big spoon on it instead of the hand.
- "Gobble gobble, motherfucker. Gobble gobble."
- Deandra's fake sob story which had something to do with her family forgetting all about thanksgiving, which is a complete lie since she just had a blast eating dinner with her family as she bids them goodbye. When she first tells it to Shay Van Buren, a sad, overly-dramatic piano score plays in the background.
- What's better is Shay seems to be sincerely moved by it and let's her in. When Cameron assumed she just came to their house to mooch off of them, she defended Deandra by saying that she is her friend and her parents are just super forgetful (from Deandra's words stated verbatim) and mildly calls her out that it's Thanksgiving and she should stop being a bitch. Soon after however, Deandra leaves with their food in a doggy bag.
- The way Cameron is completely baffled how Deandra talks about the food and motions to her sister like 'what's the deal with her?' and Shay just replies with a shrug.
- Mrs. Zales's version of Grace.
- Speaking of which, Rachel's overly long Grace where in she prays to "bless" everything she could think of.
- Oh Katelynn Zales, oh you.
- (Naked) "I'M A TURKEY! [...] HA! HA HA! GOBBLE GOBBLE!"
- Almost everything Lunch Lady Belinda says to the organic juice guy.
Lunch Lady Belinda: Look out, Overland Park. Lunch Lady Belinda's gonna make Jamie Oliver look like fucking Captain Crunch. Ahoy, bitches.
- Trisha running into the door, not realizing it was locked.
- Brittnay's reaction to having to pay $9.50 for juice.
Brittnay: The fuck? I said juice, not a fucking gallon of gasoline!
- When LLB asks about the juice that the Farmer's Market sells.
Lunch Lady Belinda: (confused) ...FFFUH-ROOT? [fruit] Okay, well, wait. Let me ask you, like, this- I serve juice every single day, we have got two flavors: red and purple. Which one is this?Organic Juice Guy: Oh, well, what you got there is a real nice watermelon-ginger-lemon-kale-cayenne blend. It's got a lot of Vitamin B- some real killer omegas in there.Lunch Lady Belinda: Ooookkaaayyyy, I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. I feel like, you're just, like, making up words.
- Misspelling cheer squad to "CHER SQUAD" which lead to people assuming it's about well...you know.
Brittnay: Nobody cares about fucking Cher you fucking asshole!!
Trisha: I knew that Q didn't look right.
- When pointed out that it's actually misspelled.
- Brittnay beating up a guy for calling her a bitch behind her back. It becomes a Funny Background Event later on.
- "Fuck my ass with a spoon!"
- The extended time we see Brittnay hanging out with Tristan. The things they do together and say to each other...
Brittnay: Oh my god, Tristan, you are such a slut!Tristan: Well if that isn't the pot calling a kettle a slut!Brittnay: What did you say, you little bitch?Tristan: You heard me, bitch!Brittnay: Whore!Tristan: Skank!Brittnay: Cunt!Tristan: Fucking twat!(Both giggle)
- Tristan telling her about the some guy named Pablo. Brittnay knows him as "the one with the—" and Tristan cuts her off. The fact that it may never be disclosed what the deal with Pablo was is somehow funny.
- Blaine asking Justin if he should also follow his (Justin's) example. What sells it is Matthew's obviously annoyed reaction.
Blaine: Hey, Justin! Do you think I should start drinking coffee and quit the football team too?Matthew: No, Blaine. Dammit, Blaine! Dammit. Just stand there, and stop asking questions.
- Than falls out of a bathroom stall. Overhearing that Justin quit, he volunteers to fill in his spot. The football team speechlessly tells him is pants are still down...
- The introduction with Bridget Tice, dressed as the elf for the Mall Santa, and her delivery as you can expect, is as jolly as the life she is living.
Bridget: Hello everybody, and welcome to the North Pole: the happiest place in Overland Park!
- "TRICK OR TREAT!" "Katelynn, it's Christmas. Not Halloween."
- "Remember last Christmas when we had to get your stomach pumped?" "NO, I don't remember. I was sedated!"
- Trisha saying that Katelynn reminds her of herself when she was 11. Mackenzie tries to say that she's 7 but decides to drop it. This is also funny if you compare Deandra saying that it reminded her of herself when she was 2 back in the Thanksgiving episode. Trisha's is funnier for a subtle reason.
- When Santa needed to take a break, Trisha is quite displeased. Worth noting, she's been a bit nicer since the first three episodes when she was a bit bitchy and apparently, she still has that attitude with her. It's almost giggleworthy seeing her angry like that...again, after for so long.
Trisha: Boo! Boo! (...) This is fucking bullshit...
- Mall Santa revealing he had a fling with Belinda in the past and she keeps egging him on continuing his bad habits. There's also Belinda's rather disturbing Christmas themed unusual euphemisms.
Mall Santa: Belinda! Jesus, get off my dick!(everyone gasps)Mall Santa: Oh... I am so fired.
- When she cut in front of Trisha to sit on Santa's lap.
Mikayla: The fuck did I do?
- Katelynn imitating him, word per word. Mackenzie pins it on her having to hang around with a Van Buren.
- Mackenzie realizing how shitty parties are without friends. Then cut to Rachel and Judith whose plan of partying is watching episodes of Gossip Girl all by themselves.
- The entire flashback prior to the start of the series which revealed the squad's friendlier past.
Brittnay: You know what? I am pretty tolerant of most things. But if there's one thing that pisses me off, so much that I wanna stab a baby, it is people that lie about their ORIGIN STORIES!!
- Brittnay legitimately thought Saison was cool and believed she's actually French and they are going to be best friends. That is until Jennifer McMinimen revealed that Saison is actually from Montreal and things just go downhill from there.
God, Montreal? What a fucking (flashback ends) BITCH...! God, I fucking hate her.
- Then Deandra calls out that they suck. Her sudden appearance startled everyone so much they screamed.
- The ending with Rachel and Judith actually watching Gossip Girl. Then they recall what it was like for them last year in which nothing actually changed. In that flashback, they pretty much say the same thing and recall what it was like last year back then. It's also similar but the only difference this time is that Rachel is sitting on the right side of the couch.
- "To 2014. May it not totally fuck us in the ass."
- The "list" with only Deandra's name in it. Jarringly, it's Trisha, of all people, to make clear that it's not so much as a list but just a piece of paper with her name on it.
- Trisha panicking over being ignored by Mackenzie and Brittnay, assuming that she had turned into a ghost when she is left unnoticed over her confusion on what they were planning.
- Brittnay tries to recruit Saison for the squad but she stated that Brittnay made clear that she was off the team. Then a flashback from Cheer Nationals showed her burning her cheer uniform. Then throws her plane ticket in the fire, simply for the fact that they'll be sitting next to each other.
- Mackenzie's overwhelming reluctance on asking Shay Van Buren to join the cheer squad, almost sounded like she was about to puke.
Mackenzie: You can be in charge of suckin' this DICK!
- Shay will join the cheer squad provided that she be head cheerleader. Mackenzie is disapproving.
- Lastly, Trisha arrives to someone's home feeling nervous asking the particular person to join the squad. As soon as who the person she's asking is seen, it was none other than Trisha 2! *
- When Deandra is offered a spot on the football team she asks if it's an issue that she's a girl. The boys briefly huddle, and you can just make out Mathew muttering "well c'mon, they run the world" and "listen to Beyonce, brother".
- Mackenzie breaking down on Brittnay after announcing Shay Van Buren as the new head cheerleader and the following...nigh unintelligible (you can still make out the words though) screaming.
- Brittnay pukes at said news.
- Then there's this:
Shay: For my first order of business as head cheerleader, you guys are fucking garbage.Mackenzie: That's constructive.
- Brittnay passing the "Art of the Tease" by luring Than with tickets to a Ryan Gosling movie marathon (or as Than calls it, "GosCon").
- Trisha 2 trying to bitch out on Judith with the help of Mackenzie. Though her tone is what sent Judith, well, not completely crushed but really confused instead.
Trisha 2: (happily) Um, Judith. Would you like to go fuck yourself?
Trisha 2: (in a forced angry voice) How are you today, Judith?!
- Before that, when Dr. Greg Converse tells Trisha 2 to get mean.
- "I'm sorry Whiny McBitcherface but we really don't have time for your whiny mcbitching!"
- Dr. Converse complaining why their uniforms simply have the word "PARK" pasted on them when they actually go to Overland Park.
- After interviewing Jenna Darabond and saying goodbye to her with hopes that her days be filled with "pixie wishes and unicorn hugs"... as if that wasn't enough, she suddenly did this:
Amberlynn: (singing) Do you want to build a snowman?
- Jenna Dapananian complaining about nobody wanting to make out with her. The camera backs up with Judith seemingly paying attention to her until both deciding to turn away from each other.
- Mackenzie's dream of Saison giving birth to a hipster baby.
- When Mackenzie told her about the nightmare.
Saison: Oh Mackenzie, no need to worry. I still have my, how you say, baby. I will not be giving birth for a very, very long time.
- Shay Van Buren constantly asking how she looked in Mackenzie's dream.
- "OH YOU WANNA HEAR LOUD, SHAY!!?"
- Check out the Youtube comments for that video. They say that Shay and Mackenzie are having a marital fight.
- Their WTF reaction seeing Jenna Darabond and Jenna Dapananian sitting on their table wearing their old cheer uniforms.
- Trisha lampshading Deandra's lack of appearance in a few recent episodes.
Trisha: You know, we never see her enough. You know?
- Brittnay beating up a guy (who was the same guy who asked about the "CHER SQUAD") commenting on the old cheer uniforms which lead to another Funny Background Event.
- Mackenzie then-currently gives a speech having had enough with the hipsters and that they need a plan to fuck them up, then Shay interrupts her reminding that as head cheerleader, she's supposed to take the lead. When Mackenzie unexcitedly admits, Shay just repeated everything Mackenzie said a few moments ago.
Mackenzie: Is this ever gonna get old for you, Shay?Shay: No, it is not.
- The Trishas suggestion about starting a Wikipedia page about Jenna Darabond and filling it with lies, leading up to the backing of the "burn train", to which they start beeping ("Beep, beep, beep..") until Mackenzie points out that's not what trains sound like.
Mackenzie: Please, for the love of God, stop.
- The sound of a backwards train: "OOCH, OOCH, OOCH, OOCH..."
- Shay taking out plans from the movies she's watched (which were mostly teen flicks, like She's All That and Mean Girls) and her last two involve the Home Alone movies.
- Apparently, lighting their cars on fire is a big no-no in one of their plans.
- The cheerleaders being simply ahead of the Jennas just to fuck with them. And every time they run into each other and the ensuing conversation.
- When the cheerleaders had beat them once again.
- Brittnay's running gag of saying "fuck you".
Mackenzie: Oh Brittnay, don't you remember somebody saying something about not respecting boundaries and how the idea of groups, owning spots was antiquated and— I'm sorry, what was the word for it?Brittnay: Fuck you.Mackenzie: Close enough.
- "I'm not a fucking follower!"
- "IT'S A POSSUM!!". Given that it's said by Trisha, It Makes Just As Much Sense In Context
- When a quarterback from the opposing team threatens the Overland Park football team and then gives his final words before signing off:
Oisín: Suck my dick.Than: Ask and you shall receive.
- Mackenzie, Brittnay, and Shay's simultaneous "what the fuck" is still funny despite the fact that it's because they've just seen Brittnay's car set on fire.
- Brittnay's mom telling embarrassing childhood stories about Brittnay:
Veronica: Why, I remember when she was three years old, she was still wetting the bed, but-Brittnay: Mom! No!
- Trisha's mom... 'nuff said.
Trish: Hi, everybody! I'm Trish Cappelletti. Not to be confused with Trisha Cappelletti. No relation.Trisha: Oh no you didn't!Trish: (laughs) I'm joking!! [...] She came out of my vagina.Trisha: Yeah I did! (high fives)
- Her introduction, especially.
- "A fucking leaf, mom!"
- Brittnay's role play with Mr. Mac. It was fairly obvious what was going to happen ( she punched him in the face and kicked him in the balls), but it's hilarious anyway.
- Trisha's punishment is that her mom is going to limit her exposure to possums.
Trisha: Oh COME ON! THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT! I hope it was worth it guys.
- Mackenzie's punishment:
Mrs. Zales: Mackenzie what do you like to do?Mackenzie: Uh, I'unno, like, shopping?Mrs. Zales: Alright she can't go shopping for a week.Mackenzie: WHAT?!
- Mackenzie's punishment:
- For one, when Saison's baby finally came out:
Deandra: (holding up the baby on her eating arm) Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!
- Funnier is that she didn't even say those exact words. She just improvised.
- Brittnay beating up Jenna Darabond's locker with a baseball bat, only to find out later that it's not hers at all and she just walks away, whistling.
- Poor Trisha 2 seemed to be scarred for life after seeing the baby's head come out of Saison. Trisha nicely sums it up.
Trisha: Oh, this is graphic.
- Desmond having to clean up Saison's mess from giving birth. Not to mention, it's only his second appearance and it's very brief.
- Jenna getting high on brownies filled with pot and ecstasy. Try watching her with a straight face. It's impossible.
Rachel: Jenna, Jesus Christ, put your shirt back on, you fucking bitch!Jenna: (Running around in her underwear with her clothes on her head) TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!
- It's a horrible thing but Mackenzie's reaction to seeing the cheerleaders' lockers smashed and vandalized.
Mackenzie: FUCK ME WITH MY OWN FIST!!
- Saison trying to read the word scrawled on her locker.
Saison: What is a, how do you say, "whore"? (later figuring out what it means) Oh! Whore! It says "whore" like a prostitute! (beat) Aww. But... not nice.
Mackenzie: Shay, bring me everyone.Shay: What do you mean "everyone"?Mackenzie: EVERYONE!
- Deandra comes over about to threaten Mackenzie if she was being lied to about the pie again, so Mackenzie has it prepared for real this time.
- Saison declaring she is with Brittnay, followed by her chasing Brittnay around the other cheerleaders declaring how great it's gonna be that they're working together, with Brittnay getting more and more annoyed at her.
Saison: Brittnay, you do not have to stand alone anymore.Brittnay: No, stop. I want to stand alone, that's the point-Saison: We will stand together and form our own team!Brittnay: I don't want a team! Go stand over there with everyone else!Saison: Oh, Brittnay, it would be so magnifique! We will be like Thelma, and how you say-Brittnay: Louise. No, go stand over there with everyone else. I work alone!Saison: (follows Brittnay)Brittnay: Stop it!Saison: Oui, stop oppressing Brittnay!Brittnay: No, you, stop following me!Saison: Oui, let us march and protest! A circle unbroken!Brittnay: Oh my god!Saison: Our voices shall be heard! La resistance!
- The Clarissa Explains It All joke between Brittnay and Trisha, by way of Trisha coming into Brittnay's room via a ladder outside her window. And it seems this is a regular thing they do.
- The embarrassing video Mackenzie made of her acting out Twilight using balloons that have Edward and Jacob drawn on them, to the point that it's clear she's going to have sex with them. She is then horrified when the Jacob balloon breaks.
- Brittnay breaking into Mackenzie's house while trying and completely failing to be stealthy about it. Although Mr. and Mrs. Zales don't even notice she's there as the two are arguing, until we find out Mrs. Zales knew Brittnay was there the entire time and just didn't care.
- Shay found out about said video because Mikayla bribed Mackenzie's sister with scented markers.
- The Van Buren Family Reunion. Get ready for the loudest, biggest, simultaneous "HIIIII!" ever (with some of foreign languages)!
- Brittnay's response to meeting all the Van Buren women:
Brittnay Matthews: Jesus FUCK they have an army.
- Cameron arriving, announcing she's got a new 47 year old boyfriend, and then losing her shit when she learns Brittnay is there.
- Lunch Lady Belinda, who is catering said reunion, screaming from joy when she learns Cameron has arrived. Including the scene of Cameron suddenly surrounded by hearts while Belinda moans in ecstasy. And then we find out Cameron has a restraining order on her.
Cameron Van Buren: Belinda! What did the judge say?! He said 800 yards! This is not 800 yards! Don't you have an Amber Alert you should be running from?!
- Brittnay's response to meeting all the Van Buren women:
- The entirety of Judith and Rachel struggling to see and hear in their new music helmets.
Rachel: Aah, what's touching me?Judith: What am I touching?Rachel: What's touching me?!Judith: What am I touching?!Rachel: What's touching me?!Judith: Ew, it's gross!Rachel: What's touching me?!(Later)Judith: What? Do we have to have this music piping directly into my helmet?! (Rachel smashes into a wall)Rachel: WHAT?! AM I OUTSIDE?!
- When Shay, Brittnay and Saison are being attacked by Mackenzie's gang of Mercenary Cheerleaders, Shay panics.
Shay: (hyperventilating) Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God...!
- Deandra's awful singing performance without the beats and the crowd's reaction to it. They boo and complain, but Deandra sure has got sass when people start throwing food at her!
Deandra: Throw food at me, I don't give a fuck! I'm fucking Queen D, suck my dick! You throw fruit, you ol' son of a bitch! Tell you what, why don't you throw some of those wings, too? Aw, throw some wings? Ha ha! (Wings get thrown) Jokes on you. I enjoy food being thrown at me. I give a special prize to the person who gets it right in my mouth, but don't throw wings in my mouth, 'cause they have-they have bones and I'll choke and then I'll die. And I don't want to die. I'm not gonna die today, you jerks! I will not die! Today! (leaves the stage)
- The video that got premiered at the party was... Shay's drunken rant. It was all Trisha's idea to switch videos to save Mackenzie's and Brittnay's asses! Poor, humiliated Gay Van Buren.
The Trisha Show
w/ Deandra the New Girl
- Trisha 2 lampshade Deandra's name as "The New Girl". Trisha just says "she was new and now, she's still new".
- Trisha asking if she uses WD-40... on her regular arm.
- Trisha 2 asking Deandra if she intimidates people like how 6-foot tall black men do the same thing when around other people. While on the subject matter, Trisha admits to be intimidated by small Asian men.
- Possibly one of the funniest malapropisms ever by Trisha 2.
Trisha 2: I would try to get into Buddhism (pronounces it as 'booty-ism') but I don't have what it takes to make it clap.
- "It's all the same poop..." -Deandra, after being asked if she poops nuts and bolts.
Deandra: Do not eat at auto-body shops.
- The entirety of the "Trisha Lightning Round".
Both Trishas: Mmmm...
- Choosing between Country Time Lemonade and Monkey Fight, she chose the latter. She then had second thoughts and assumes that "monkey fight" is about two monkeys fighting. Trisha 2 adds "with knives" and cue two knives photoshopped on the fighting monkey's hands. Deandra confirms "monkey fight". Okay.
- "Gravy or Apple Pie?" Cue running gag of choosing back and forth until concluding with the third option. Gravy on top of apple pie.
- Deandra becoming a bit upset for not being invited to Trisha 2's house for chicken fried peas. She didn't know.
Deandra: I love chicken fried peas! I love chicken fried anything!!
- Deandra as Blake from the school production of Glengarry Glen Ross.
- Both Trishas asking simultaneously to Reby, "You live in a forest?" Then Trisha 2 concludes that she's renting a forest.
- When thinking of a wrestling names for themselves, they suggest to each other they want theirs to be Trisha and vice versa.
Both Trishas: Ooohh! THE TRISHAS!!Trisha 2: We'll punch your gall bladder!Trisha: Yeah, we're gonna— we're gonna rip your face... with our— with our butts!Trisha 2: Yeah, butt face rip!Trisha: The Trishas!!
Trisha: So I heard you're engaged (pronounces it as ''en-gahzhed''), is that true?Trisha 2: It's "engaged" (properly pronounced)Trisha: Oh, you're engaged as well? That's amazing.
- Both suddenly going crazy after Trisha said "love at first fight".
- When Reby admits that it definitely was, they actually find it heartwarming complete with aww's
- Reby wants to demonstrate a wrestling move but needs a volunteer. Trisha suggests Trisha 2. Hilarity ensues by the end.*
- Before signing off, Trisha 2 is thrown to the background and clattering metal sounds can be heard.
- Lindsay confirms that as an audience member when it comes to scary movies, she's a "pretty big chicken". The Trishas being well...the way they are, you know where this goes.
Trisha 2: Yum...
- Trisha 2 consider Milo And Otis a scary movie. Trisha labels it as the scariest movie ever, simply because they think that a dog and a cat should not be together.
Trisha 2: Those are boundaries that aren't meant to be crossed.
- There's also a bit of Fridge Brilliance with why they considered it. The movie itself gets unnerving to watch because of the dangerous things they go through and the animals used were real. There's also the rumor of the more than thirty cats having died over the course of the production but we'll just leave it there.
- Trisha 2 believing that Homeward Bound is a sequel to said movie and is just as equally terrifying.
- The Trishas misunderstood the point of a "based on a true story" after Lindsay said that she couldn't help but the things that happened in The Conjuring have happened to actual people. Thinking that the scenes James Wan filmed were real.
- The return of the Trisha Lightning Round.
Trisha: Trisha, what's her score?Trisha 2: We don't keep scores.Trisha: Yeah, you win!!(Both Trisha 2 and Lindsay cheer) YAAYY!!
- When Lindsay said she gets scared easily, Trisha 2 attempts to startle her, as always, juvenile attempts of imitating sounds. Of course, she wasn't at all scared but Trisha, meanwhile:
Trisha: (hiding behind the desk, shaking) What are you...? Who are you...?Trisha 2: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.Trisha: That chilled me, like a cooler...
- Trisha 2's hope in coming back as a "sexy ghost".
Trisha 2: Look at that ghost, she's so hot like... a ghost!Trisha: (deadpan, staring into space) I wanna come back as Patrick Swayze...
- Brittnay's still worked up about having been 1st runner-up for prom after Trisha asked what it's like.
- Trisha 2 recalls a story of how her popularity is affecting her life which simply includes some random student asking where the auditorium is. Trisha shares her surprise with how super popular Trisha 2 is.
- The new segment on the Trisha Show, "Ask Brittnay".
Trisha: And then we illegally hacked in to Brittnay's facebook page and chose the best questions.
- Trisha blatantly admits to hacking Brittnay's Facebook page in order to choose the best questions, sent by fans.
- Brittnay is curious with how they even got her password. It was, "brittnay"... Oh god.
- The second question's answer on the segment involves a boy trying to lose pounds for the homecoming dance.
Brittnay: I eat whatever I want...Trisha: Yeah, who cares if you gain a few pounds?Trisha 2: Yeah!(all laugh)
Judy & Red in the Morning
Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Kim Kardashian, "Witney" Matthews
- Judy identifies herself as a Katy Perry fan. While explaining, a picture of Katy Perry in her "Last Friday Night" music video appears beside her.
Judith: Yeah!! A burst of cool colors and sh[bleep]!
- Rachel when describing Judith to other people, she describes her like a firework. And then Judith describing about a firework.
- It gets better at the blooper reel in the end when everybody laughs soon after she said it.
- Their literal samples of the new singles released by Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are what the singles' names make it out to be, them being "Roar" and "Applause", respectively.
- Judith gets Kim Kardashian a baby gift but only to be sent back. Rachel gets her a gift too but it also got sent back. If it has nothing to do with sending knives for the baby, then we don't know why. She stated that it could be useful for cutting hair, oh Jesus...
Rachel: Then that brings us to our sponsor.Judith: "BLADE CO"!Rachel: Wanna buy some knives?!
- The caller online named... pshh, "Witney" Matthews. She starts out acting all soft-voiced and sweet, telling them that she's having a party at Saturday and she'd like for them to come but she asks them to do one thing first:
- "I'm getting heated, bro! I'm getting real heated!"
- Rachel is asked what show she'd want to win in the Best Comedy category. She answered Gossip Girl, yet Judith pointed out that the show ended and it wasn't even nominated.
- Rachel saying Louis C.K.'s name like she was going to cough up something, the minute she reached his surname.
- In the first few minutes, Judith visibly pities Rachel's obsession with Gossip Girl.
Judith: So there's one show that has more nominations than any show—Rachel: Gossip Girl.Judith: (nods her head) Oh Rach... jeez laweez...
- Their "clip" of American Horror Story.
- Same with their "clip" of Breaking Bad, especially Rachel's hilariously poor costume of Walter White.
- When Rachel and Judith are reading the titles of the shows in Producer Dan's DVR, they completely miss the point of what it's really about due to most of the titles being double entendres and unusual euphemisms.
Judith: We got "House Wives Orgy 2"!(beat)Rachel: I believe it's pronounced, "House Wives Orgy (or-guy)"
- The moment Judith says the word 'stud' when reading the description, Rachel promptly thinks it's about a horse.
- "Biracial Hook Up 6" being about tow truck drivers.
- The "we take tight sexy women..." and the "we stick them with the thickest men" description being too funny too say when they were first recording it. It's almost impossible since Rachel has to say it with much enthusiasm and energy as possible.
- Same for "Gigantic Toys In Small Holes" description bearing the words "squeeze massive sex toys", also said with the same energy.
And The Rest