This page contains unmarked spoilers. You Have Been Warned!
Episode 1: The New Girl
- The more "Who the fuck are you?" is said in this episode, the more it loses its impact, but Mackenzie doesn't seem to think so.
- Trisha being concerned about who's watching the door while Deandra and Mackenzie are arguing.
- The noises Deandra makes while she's in the bathroom stall.
- "Have fun smelling my poops, bitches!"
Episode 2: French Class
- This line from Brittnay to Saison: "God I wanna fucking murder you." Fun Fact: This was one of the gifs that made MPGiS get a popularity boom on tumblr.
- Brittnay's complete and utter hatred of Saison Marguerite and her tendency to say "how you say" before words she "clearly" understands, including French words.Brittnay: Really?! You're really asking how to say "ménage à trois?" IT'S A FUCKING FRENCH WORD YOU LITTLE BITCH!
- Brittnay yells at Rachel Tice when she starts talking about Gossip Girl, and tells her to "go eat a roly-poly like [she] did in the goddamn third grade". Rachel then starts crying and runs away. Brittnay's reaction?Brittnay: SHUT THE FUCK UP, RACHEL TICE!
- Brittnay informing Saison that she also lets boys "fuck her in her butthole" and not her "growler."
- "What the fuck is a growler?"
Episode 3: Sister Act
- A revival of the (often memes) bickering between Deandra and Mackenzie.Mackenzie: (to Mikayla) Who the FUCK are you?!Makayla: Who the FUCK are you?!Mackenzie: Oh, no! No! We are NOT doing this again!
- All three of the Van Burens coming into the bathroom and asking the same question.Van Burens: Where the fuck is Mackenzie Zales!?
- And when Mikayla comes in, Trisha still wonders who's watching the door and how a nine year-old got in.
- Trisha throwing up in the stall when Cameron Van Buren, the most popular girl in the Blue Valley School District, says hi to her.
- Cameron threatening to tell all the colleges that Mackenzie applied to that she eats dick burritos (a Throw It In! line from the VA himself) if she doesn't apologize to Shay.
- Mikayla also threatening that she'll tell the elementary school that Mackenzie's younger sister has cooties.
Mikayla: You know Mackenzie, it'd be a shame if your sister fell down a flight of STAIRS!! - The aftermath of Deandra's toilet habits interrupts the girls' bickering.Shay: Listen, Mackenzie Zales, if you—! (gags) Oh, God, it smells terrible in here.Mackenzie: Somebody literally just pooped.Cameron: (puts her hand to her nostrils) It smells awful.Makayla: It smells as if somebody put a diabetic foot into a sandwich and left it in the sun. UGH!
Episode 4: The Most Popular Boys In School
- Than. Just... Than.Than: State, huh? More like, uh, gay.
- This exchange:Than: Fuck you.Matthew: Suck my dick.Than: Okay.Matthew: What??Than: Drop trou'. I'll suck your dick right now!Matthew: (backs away) Dude, that was an expression. Right, am I right? That's an expression, right, guys? (the guys murmur assent) Not an invitation.Than: I'll suck ALL your dicks! Go 'head, push 'em together like a little sandwich, OMNOMNOMNOMNOM. I'm hungry for LUNCH!
- This exchange:Than: You're gay!Tanner: Yeah, so?...Matthew: We accept you, bro.
Episode 5: $57 Lunch
- Deandra's big lunch order that ends up being a total of fifty-seven dollars.(in reaction to the total, simultaneously)Shay Van Buren: What the FUCK?Cameron Van Buren: Holy shit!
- When Mikayla Van Buren introduces herself to Deandra in episode 5.Deandra: Jesus Christ! Is that a fucking gremlin!?Mikayla Van Buren: No ... I'm a third grader!Deandra: Whatever, just no one feed that fucking thing after midnight.
- Cameron specifically referring to the war with the cheerleaders as a blood feud with "those DNA guzzling cheerleaders".
- Mikayla offering to pay for Deandra's lunch with a credit card her father gave her but her sisters snap at her.Shay: Mikayla! Dad gave you that credit card for emergencies only!
- On the news of Mikayla having head-lice, Lunch-Lady Belinda snaps:Lunch Lady Belinda: Excuse me, I will cut a bitch if there is lice somewhere in my chilli.
Episode 6: The Letter Zero
- Brittnay talking with her mother on the phone about her yeast infection.Brittnay: I don't know, mom! WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE BREAD LOAF THAT'S BAKING IN MY VAGINA!?
- When Brittnay meets Deandra:Deandra: Hey.Brittnay: Fuck off.
- Trisha not knowing the difference between the number 0 and the letter O.
- Brittnay threatening to Ass Shove Mackenzie with a megaphone if Deandra turns out to betray them. It practically lampshades the Dramatic Irony of Deandra's secret loyalty to the Van Buren sisters.
Episode 7: The Least Popular Girls In School
- Pretty much everything Bridget Tice says.
- Specifically, what she says to Judith.
Judith: H-hey, Bridget. H-how's it going?Bridget: Well, I'm 27 and I'm still living with my parents in Overland Park, I have an art history degree from a night school, my cat just died, I've lost twenty-five percent control of my sphincter muscles, I get a clicking sound in my jaw when I eat, I drive a 91 Dodge Neon, I have ovarian cysts, sometimes I pee the bed still, I have alopecia. The only man who wants to fuck me is my 48 year-old manager at Pizza Street. PS: He only has one ball. So I guess... better than you. - This:Bridget: I'm gonna go watch Girls.Rachel: (worried) Gossip Girl?!Bridget: No, Girls. On HBO. S'like Gossip Girl but with more tits.
- "You stupid. Fucking. Abortion."
- "Yeah, that's right! Just walk away... like a bitch."
Episode 8: Third Grade
- Throughout the show, all of the characters have mentioned certain events that happened in the third grade. The fact that said events are finally shown in this episode is hilarious.
- Even at nine years-old, Matthew Derringer had a really deep voice.
- "I paid $5 for this Pokémon card. D'you know how many Yu-Gi-Oh! cards I could buy with $5?!"
- "OH DERRINGERRRR!"
- Tanner's "speech inpwediment".Matthew: Figure out how to speak. You're nine years-old, god dammit!
- Brittnay yells at Matthew for hitting Shay with his Ryan Cabrera promotional hacky sack and ends up beating him up for it. This somehow leads to the two making out.
- When Shay gets hit.Shay: Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy— OW SONOFABITCH BASTARD!! WHY MEEEE WHY NOOW? DOES GOD HAAAATE MEEE? OW, JESUS CHRIIIIST!
Episode 9: Pre Pep Rally Energy Drinks
- The episode opens with the cheerleaders in the bathroom having explosive diarrhea because Shay Van Buren mixed laxatives in their drinks. The whole scene and their lines are hysterical.Brittnay: Oh my God, I feel like I'm having an abortion!Mackenzie: Why would God do this to me??Trisha: Ehhhhhhhhh SQUIRTLE!Mackenzie: (wave stops) How the fuck did this happen??Trisha: (stops pooping) I think someone may have put laxatives in our pre-Pep Rally energy drinks... (starts pooping) HIGHGUYGONNAMUFFIN!!!Brittnay: Really, Trisha? Really? YOU THINK?!Trisha: Well, I mean, that's just my best guess; I really couldn't say for sure without doing a— (starts pooping) WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH!!Mackenzie: GODDAMN YOU, SHAY VAN BUREN!!!!!!
- Shay and Mikayla arguing over how much Ex-Lax to put in the cheerleaders' drinks:Shay: Mikayla, I'm six feet tall and I weigh a hundred and five pounds, I think I know how to mix Ex-Lax into a drink.Mikayla: If you put too much in, the Ex-Lax will just sit on top, like semen on root beer.
- Then it turns out Mikayla is right, according to her mother.
Jayna: Listen, girls, if you mix in too much of the Ex-Lax, it'll just sit on top, like ... well, semen on root beer.Mikayla: I told you!Shay: (under her breath) Shut up, lice-head. - Mackenzie screaming "Get Out!...! GET. OUT OF. MEEE!!"; Kate Frisbee even says that particular line was her favorite improvisation moment (in fact, she wasn't even sure if it was even going to be included in the series!).
- The cheerleaders announcing that they need to fuck Shay Van Buren's life.Mackenzie: Fuck it right in the ass!Brittnay: No lube!Trisha: Fisting!Deandra: With a big, black dildo!Mackenzie: THE BIGGEST.
Episode 10: Gay Van Buren
- Brittnay's continuing annoyance with Saison and Blaine.Blaine: Oh, Saison. I wanted to know... do you want to go to prom with me?Saison: Oh, Blaine. How you say, oui.(Cut to Brittnay banging her head against the lockers)Saison: Oh, hello, Britt-a-nee. Is everything, eh, bon?Brittnay: Oh, it's just fine, Saison. I was just trying to put myself into a coma so I wouldn't have to listen to the two of you dipshits tryin' to talk and breathe at the same time.
- The sounds Trisha and Matthew Deringer make while french kissing.
- Brittnay's distrust of Deandra turning into a rant about one of her exes to no one in particular.Brittnay: I'm telling you, I don't trust that bitch.Trisha: Um, Brittnay, you don't trust anybody.Brittnay: Yeah, with good reason! The last girl we trusted was Taylor McDevitt!Mackenzie: Oh Jesus...Brittnay: We're supposed to be having a fun day at the Overland Park Community Center Pool. I turn my back for one second and Taylor's playing "Hide the Finger" with my FUCKING BOYFRIEND in the Lazy River!Trisha: I could totally go for a swim right now.
- Gay van Buren. It will haunt her forever...
- Deandra asking Shay and the others if they ever do anything besides scheming:Deandra: Do you guys ever talk about anything other than, like, revenge? I just saw this video of a kid online who could light up a lightbulb by sticking it in his mouth. I mean, what's going on there, right? And don't get me started on Pakistan. Ahmedinijad, am I right?
- Deandra's reaction to the fact that she has been nominated for Prom Queen.Deandra: AAAHHHH!! AAAHHH! AAAHHHHH!! IMA BE THE PROM QUEEN! IMA BE THE PROM QUEEN! SUCK MY DICK! SUCK MY DICK! SUCK MY DICK! I DID IT! I DID IT! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!
Episode 11: Deandra's Arms
- Cameron and Brittnay's little insult battle.Cameron Van Buren: Oh hey, Brittnay, I didn't smell you there. How's your chlamydia circus doing?Brittnay: Oh, it's fucking gone thanks for asking! How's your fucking cock-eyed nipple?!Cameron Van Buren: It's looking both ways. I heard you farted in biology and it smelled like your dad's dick.Brittnay: Heard your fourth abortion was free. Gotta love those free punch cards!
- Trisha's completely epic "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Ashley Katchadourian at the end of episode 11 is one of the most simultaneously awesome, heartwarming and funny moments in stop motion history.Ashley Katchadourian: Oh hey Trisha, Jenna Dapananian said you wanted to see me.Trisha: Ashley. Katchadourian. You were supposed to be watching the door.Ashley Katchadourian: Oh, no, I know, it's just my family and I we went to Pearl Harbor for 2 weeks, so that's kind of a thing we do every year. Didn't you get the vacation request form I submitted before I-Trisha: You... were supposed to be watching the door...Ashley Katchadourian: Well, yeah, I know, but I submitted the form and I was going to—Trisha: You were supposed... to be watching the door! Ashley Katchadourian!!!Ashley Katchadourian: Um, Trisha, are you ok-Trisha: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN?! THESE ARE A LITTLE GIRL'S ARMS. A LITTLE GIRL WITH DREAMS. WITH LEGS. WITH A HEAD.Ashley Katchadourian: Really, Trisha, I—Trisha: SHE'S A PENCIL, SHE'S A SWIZZLESTICK. YOU CAN USE HER AS A POOL NOODLE. AND NOW I'M HOLDING UP HER ARMS. ARMS!Ashley Katchadourian: Okay, but-but I was—Trisha: I'M HOLDING THEM BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T WATCHING THE DOOR.Ashley Katchadourian: Uh— I....was at Pearl Harbor.Trisha: A GIRL LOST HER ARMS, ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN. A GIRL LOST HER FUCKING ARMS. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT HAS TRANSPIRED WHILE YOU WERE IN PEARL HARBOR?! SEEING THE FUCKING JAPANESE MUSEUM?! WE HAD OUR OWN PEARL HARBOR HERE TODAY. OH MY GOD. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?! YOU LITERALLY BOMBED US! LIKE THE JAPANESE YOU ARE! AND ME.....I'M BEN AFFLECK. AND I'M BEN AFFLECK AND I'M HOLDING TWO FUCKING GIRL'S ARMS. AND YOU'RE CUBA GOODING JR. DISAPPOINTING EVERYBODY.Ashley Katchadourian: (cries and runs away)Trisha: LIVE WITH THAT!
- In the extra credits addition to this episode, some of Trisha's rejected lines are equally funny, which include her screaming about Deandra getting shots from a doctor, screams "AND NOW... I HAVE TWO BASEBALL BATS IN MY HANDS", saying that Ashley "rammed the goat" by going to Pearl Harbor, defining what just happened as a "shit show" and that people died today, and then finally:Trisha: YOU NEED TO LIVE WITH THAT. YOU NEED TO LIVE WITH THAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! BURN THESE INTO YOUR EYES ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN! FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR CUNT!Ashley: (crying) I-I was at Pearl Harbor...!
- Then there are the outtakes of Brittnay and Cameron's fight, which include Cameron saying "I'm not the one who's vagina fucking slurps up all the oxygen like a black hole."Brittnay: I heard your fourth abortion was free. Gotta love those fucking punch cards, right?Cameron: Mmm yeah, I didn't want to be your step-mom.
- In the extra credits addition to this episode, some of Trisha's rejected lines are equally funny, which include her screaming about Deandra getting shots from a doctor, screams "AND NOW... I HAVE TWO BASEBALL BATS IN MY HANDS", saying that Ashley "rammed the goat" by going to Pearl Harbor, defining what just happened as a "shit show" and that people died today, and then finally:
Episode 12: Prom Pt. 1
- When Saison Marguerite is now turn to take a picture with her prom date, Lunch Lady Belinda sighs for a million years.
- Blaine prepares a speech for Saison...
Lunch Lady Belinda: For a picture!? - Theme of the prom: All Dogs Go to Heaven Under the Sea, in Hawaii.
- They've had some issues in the prom committee that year.
- For some reason, they were able to compromise with Judith's idea for the theme which was the "All Dogs Go to Heaven" one.
- Brittnay telling Trisha that Ashley Katchadourian was indeed in charge of the snacks.Brittnay: Uhm, you know she's in charge of snacks...right?Trisha: Wait, what?Brittnay: Ashley Katchadourian...is in charge of snacks.Justin: Jenna Darabond is in charge of the door.Trisha: (horrified) Oh my God. I've made a terrible mistake.
- Prior to that, Trisha had made Brittnay make out with Justin, Ashley's boyfriend.
- Bridget Tice meeting Tanner Christiansen's Camp Gay boyfriend Tristan McKie.Tristan: You're probably familiar with Tanner's work. Well, probably not in the way I'm familiar with it. I'm talkin' about sex. Sweetie, what's the name of that thing you are again?Tanner: I'm the quarterback of the football team, Tristan.Tristan: So much technical jargon! Jesus Louises, leave us ladies in the kitchen where we belong, right Red? I'm just kidding, obvi!Bridget: I'm being paid fifty dollars to stand here, not to talk to Rip Taylor's bottom. Go away now.Tristan: (laughing) God isn't she great?! She's like the love child of Daria and Miranda from Sex and the City!
- Bridget meeting Brittnay:Bridget: Hello, and welcome t—Brittnay: Fuck off. (walks away)Bridget: Don't mind if I do. (walks away)
Episode 13: Prom Pt. 2
- Granted, the entire series could be considered as one, but certain moments stand out such as Lunch Lady Belinda's fangirl screech at the start of episode 13.
- Lunch Lady Belinda and Bridget Tice converse about Cameron Van Buren:Lunch Lady Belinda: She is so eloquent.Bridget: You smell like maple syrup and meat.Lunch Lady Belinda: What did your father do to you?
- Mackenzie finally has enough after the football team starts their totally random dance routine and interrupts the announcement of prom queen:Mackenzie: Enough! Get OFF my stage!Matthew Derringer: Uh actually-Mackenzie: GETOFFMYSTAGE!!!Matthew Derringer: Yeahokayweregonnagetoffthestage.Mackenzie: I have been waiting all night-Trisha: Uh actually we've only been waiting for like thirty or forty-Mackenzie: Shut UP, Trisha! I have been waiting my entire life for one moment, and that moment keeps getting pushed back by dance routines, armless girls, and the bickering of blond idiots, oh and whatever the FUCK that is!Tristan: Oh me? I'm a Pisces but keep going I am loving this, you are so presh!Brittnay: Okay, I know you did NOT just-Mackenzie: SAVE IT, JUDAS!Cameron: I'm sorry, do you know who the FUCK you're talking to?!Mackenzie: DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING TO?! I am Mackenzie Zales! Head cheerleader, homecoming queen, PART-TIME MOTHERFUCKING MODEL!
- Everyone's reaction to Rachel Tice winning Prom Queen.
