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Funny: Star Trek Online
  • At the end of 'Coliseum', Hakeev of the Tal Shiar corners you. You've been cut off and betrayed, and you're staring down the barrels of a dozen Romulan disruptors. He happily gloats about your impending demise, his men level their guns and squeeze the triggers... and your ship locks onto your signal and beams you out just in time. Cue an outraged, perfectly-timed, and utterly priceless Big "NO!".
  • Mission completion texts for Duty Officer assignments can be very amusing - especially when things go wrong.
    • Authorise Shipboard Concert - Failure:
      In the wake of the concert, members of your crew have requested an unusually high number of amnesia-inducing stimulants.
    • Host Diplomatic Reception - Disaster:
      Your victims were routed to Sickbay with alcohol poisoning.
    • Capture and Deliver Decendants of Caitian Unforgiven to Ferasans - Failure:
      By the time the target was located, the Caitian had died of natural causes.
      • Or someone gets injuried and/or killed on completly mudane tasks. There have been reports of crew members having to be hospitlized after attempting to review sensor logs. The joke was that they got into a fist fight.
  • With Season 6 came the return of Morn. It's absolutely hilarious. Comically Missing the Point to the Nth Degree.
    "Morn, I need some advice."
    "..."
    Dialogue Option 1: "Huh, you're right, I never thought about it that way."
    Dialogue Option 2: "I'm glad to know someone agrees with me."

    "Got any good gossip?"
    [Morn rattles the drink in his hand.]

    • The best one is if you ask where he's been this whole time.
      Morn ponders for a moment, gathering his thoughts on his grand adventure ... [ Gilligan Cut ] Several hours later... Morn finishes his tale. He looks at his glass and takes a long drink, his throat parched from the long tale. He nods and bids you farewell.
  • In Tau Dewa Patrols you can randomly get assistance from the Enterprise-F. One of the random lines you can get from Captain Shon is "Good to see we aren't the ONLY ones who answer distress calls."
  • Q's Winter Wonderland is an amusing concept in itself with some funny moments:
    • Running the daily race through a slick ice-covered course while old-timey music plays.
    • The half-hour mark snowman battles, complete with a horde of players taking on the Snowman Overlord.
    • The Klingon snowmen that can be interacted with.
    It is a good day to MELT!
    • Q turning political correctness on its head was pretty funny. Instead of Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays the Devs had him Take a Third Option
    Q: BLESSED VAKESH PRAN!!
    • For the 2012-13 Winter Wonderland event he greets everyone with a proud, "Merry Peldor Day of Honor!"
    • The 2013-14 Wonderland was upgraded to include a sapient Gingerbread Village under attack by snowmen.
      • The Gingerbread mayor sounds like the gingerbread man from Shrek too!
    • Some voice overs were added to the Vendors at Q's Wonderland.
      Ferengi Merchant: "Q is a wonderful being... and soooo handsome!"
      Epohh Researcher: "Q loves all the smaller beings. Beat Even you!"
  • The Third Aniversary Featured Episode had some great ones.
    • Tasha Yar's bitchiness about how YOU didnt take care of the security stuff even though its likely she was.
      Tasha: (in the tone of a 5 year-old) "I thought you took care of the security protocols!"
      • Even better, we find out that her and Castillo definetly didn't hook up for the same reason.
        Tasha: "Starfleet regulation 547c clearly states-"
        Castillo: (annoyed) "I don't think the Tholians have heard of Regulation 547c!!"
    • One of Va'kel Shon's lines when confronting the Tholian guard to give Fed players a distraction is pretty hilarious.
      Shon: "Hey! Get down here, you big salt shaker!"
    • Alternate timeline where Morn's in a labor camp for the Tholians? He STILL doesn't speak.
    • Getting high on fumes and prostrating to the Elder Tribble.
    • Also upon finding a dead body:
      "Who's Jim?"
  • This one is very meta, but dammit, how Denise Crosby met Al Rivera (Capt Geko) and Christine Thompson (Kestral) of Cryptic Studios after agreeing to the job is nothing short of Crazy Awesome and funny as hell. Watch the whole thing here: [1]
    • First, this was a fan convention, the devs just happened to be going and learned there was an open Q&A
    • Al surprised Denise by revealing who he was to her who he was. He was the calm fan boy. SHE WAS FREAKING OUT.
      Al/ Captain Geko : "My name is Al Rivera and I'm the leader content designer of Star Trek Online."
      Denise Crosby: "THIS IS THE THE MAN I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!!!"
    • Denise coming up with her own story for Tasha's fate involving Timey-Wimey Ball, Cloning Blues, Rebel Leader and a Cat fight between Tasha and Sela.
      Al: "How long have you been coming up with this!?"
      • In perspective: Denise Crosby wrote fan fiction about her own character and is getting it canonized.
      • The best part being that Season 1 Yar is a clone.
        "But she's a good clone!"
      • Also finding out that Denise's strategy for dealing with Sela is very funny if you've seen the Family Guy skit about her grandfather, Bing Crosby.
        "Then [Tasha] has to deal with her daughter. ( beat ) Her little bitch of a daughter. Very incepid. She deserves a good spanking!"
    • Then it swerves into Crowning Moment Of Awesome: it ends with Tasha getting Sela to accept her human side and eventually unite the Romulans with the Federation like Kirk did in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Kestral/Christine's response?
      Kestral (Behind the camera): "I can do this."
  • Borticus' performance as Kurland during Boldly They Rode could get annoying at times. However, Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball does not apply to Trolling Creator Devs: [2]
  • The Patch notes can get in on this sometimes.
    (Tribble Test Server Patch Notes, April 4th, 2013)
    "The Qo'Nos Transporter chief has been executed for incompetence" (Translation: Beaming around Qo'Nos is fixed)
    • And in keeping with that one, the old transporter chief NPC was switched out.
    The Next Week
    (Tribble Test Server Patch Notes, April 8th, 2013)
    "The KDF transporter chief will once again allow players to beam to the Academy and their ship.
    The people responsible for sacking the previous Transporter Chief have now been sacked. The Transporter is now being run in an entirely different manner at great expense by the following:
    ***40 specially-trained New Romulan Mountain Epohhs
    ***6 Vulcan Epohhs
    ***142 Andorian Battling Epohhs
    ***14 Reman Snow Possums (Closely related to the Epohh)
    ***Reginald Epohh of Jupiter Station
    ***Known Issues: A Tribble once bit my sister.
    • The Player responses are great too!
      hevach: Clearly Cryptic needs more strict rules regarding alcohol in the office.
      Borticus (A dev): Quiet, you! >:|
    • Another one: "Sela still doesn't have a cape. - Now the cape makers are on strike. "
    • Yet more dev snarkiness. The servers died for several hours on March 21, 2014. The @StarTrekOnline Twitter feed gave the following status report:
      "@YouriAshton We're still looking at ridding ourselves of the Borg-pests. :)"
  • In the first of the new Klingon Empire 1-20 missions after the Tutorial, you end up fighting Naussican pirates in the Warehouse at the the Exchange. All throughout the fight, the Ferengi in charge of the Exchange is running around screaming in fright, but you can shut him up by punching him.
  • Just the fact that you can breed a Cannibal tribble that then eats all the common tribbles.
    • Heck, just the fact that you can equip a Tribble.
  • The Risa Summer Event. Starfleet and KDF Command find it so important, they call a temporary truce so that both sides can go to Risa, search for Horga'hns (the little statues that help you get laid by a Risian) fly jetpacks, play dabo and have a dance party. ... You guys remember you're at war right?
    • You can even find an expy couple of Worf and Jadzia fighting at night and being told as a federation captain that you cant learn Mokbara on the rocks by a Klingon captain.
  • Episode "Wasteland", mission "A Fistful of Gorn". Law leaves a death note, then cutscene where he and a Gorn pirate chief square off in a Showdown at High Noon. Cue Battle Discretion Shot when they fire. Next scene has Law walk up to you and nonchalantly shrug.
  • As a bit of a bonus for the countdown to Season 8, Q has returned to the faction bases to grant you extra XP. One of the options you can choose is "Are you really as powerful as they say?" He promptly turns you into random creatures, up to and including and Undine!
    • It's even funnier when, if you're a Vice Admiral, you pass by the class as any of those forms and they salute you as usual!
  • You know all the bitching about Season 8 and the Voth (especially the Dinosaurs) as a whole? Turns out in-universe the NPCs are equally exasperated by this encounter. Just hang around Dyson Command to see!
    Starfleet Officer: "Sooo... barring a temporal incident, who'd have thought we'd be fighting dinosaurs?"
    R.R. Fleet Specialist: "Ok. How did the Voth manage to get this giant freaking ship in the sphere?"
  • This video of Dave Rivas recording for Captain Shon manages to be utterly hillarious.
    Christine Thompson: "Just pretend they're... polishing their bat'leths or something!"
    Dave Rivas: "You can't say that when I'm trying to be stoic!"
    • And the bit about Shon's uniform.
      Christine Thompson: "Now they've all watched Scooby-Doo and they know this a bad idea, but they're gonna do it anyways."
      Joe Lyford: "Good thing there's guys with red uniforms on."
      Christine: "Err... actually Shon wears a red uniform."
      Dave Rivas: "Son of a bitch."
      Joe: "Can we animate him so he looks at his own uniform when saying this?"
      Christine: "I wish we could!"
    • And this chunk after Shon's been dissected by the Solanae
      Joe Lyford: "You're back on the bridge and your organs are mostly in the right place."
      Dave Rivas: "Testicles are backwards..."
      Christine Thompson: "They'll fix that back at Starbase."
      Dave: "GOOD!"
      Joe: "They've had lots of practice on people coming back from Risa."
  • Kestral's companion story to Sphere of Influence, "Of Chaos and Kal-Toh" was recently published in Star Trek Magazine and its pretty much Comedic Sociopathy:
    • Shon is being diessected by the Solanae while this is all going on
    • The Enterprise-F, ordered by Starfleet to investigate the literally just appeared out of thin air Jouret Gate, gets scanned by an Iconian Probe and starts falling towards the Sphere's surface ala Star Trek: Into Darkness.
    • Commander Winters ends up having to be a Turbolift Operator
    • Lt. Kyona is forced to enter the Jeffries Tubes (Which she hates)
    • Lt.Cmdr Tem Inasi is cheerfully informing the Bridge Crew how horribly their gonna die. ("The last 30 seconds should be very uncomfortable!")
    • Kirayoshi is fighting the Iconian Virus and ''losing.''
    • And lastly, Commander Savel is in Shon's chair on the bridge, playing Kal-Toh while asking for status reports.
  • In the "Party Crashers" event for the game's anniversaries, you have to chase down Tiny Qs to get them back up to the big (normal) Q. At one point, a Q can transform into various forms to run away. There's a chance that one of those forms will be a Tribble.
  • On Earth Spacedock there are several voiced announcements that come over the social zone. One of them is for an emergency holodeck extraction. Code 30. Yes, they are so pronounced, Holodeck Malfunctions have degrees and codes of severity!
  • In a recent set of patch notes for the TRIBBLE test server, a few instances of Undine mentionings forgot the second 'n', thus calling the Undine "Undie". Cue underwear jokes from the forum-goers.
  • In a bit of a Call Back, the human crew of the Enterprise-F, especially Kirayoshi, will wistfully talk about Zefrim Cochrine. Kirayoshi even calls him a visionary. Anyone who's seen Star Trek: First Contact knowns what visions he had.
  • When the Federation player is granted command of the Enterprise-F for the 2014 First Contact Day mission, Captain Shon gives this bit of advice;
    Shon: "Just don't break my ship."
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