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Funny: Conan
  • During the Conan One Hour Earlier Best of Spectacular:
    New Yorker in audience: HEY JACKASS!
    Conan: (Beat) Excuse me, sir?
    New Yorker: Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, Lanky Doodle Dandy! I've been sittin' through all this L.A. crap; when are ya gonna show some highlights of the week of shows you did in New York?!
    Conan: OK, I'm sorry, just take it easy, sir-
    New Yorker: DON'T TELL ME TO TAKE IT EASY, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I swear to God, if you don't show some highlights from New York right now, I'm gonna tear this building apart with my bare hands!!
    Conan: Well actually, sir, I was just about to show some clips from our week in New York.
    New Yorker: (charmed) Oh! Well that's delightful! (sits down)
  • On the 12/17/12 episode: comedian Jon Dore is doing his set when an usher is loudly trying to get a couple in the audience to change seats, when Jon starts arguing with the Usher over whose job is easier, and they switch roles with Jon carrying the audience member around and start arguing and mocking each other like children. Conan and Andy break up the argument, to which Jon and the Usher start arguing with Conan and Andy about whose job is easier and then they switch roles with Conan and Andy and start arguing and mocking again. Then suddenly Jon says (still mockingly)"We should bring out a guest, please welcome Sarah Chalke" and Sarah Chalke herself comes out and sits at the couch while Conan and Andy look on in confusin as to what the hell just happened. Jon finishes by signing off the show instead of Conan before asking for a round of applause for the real Conan O'Brien to which they cut to Conan's stunt double who is a head shorter than Conan, while Conan still looks dumbfounded. It has to be seen to be believed.
  • Andy and Conan prepare to do their Local News Segment sketch. Turns out Andy happened to be wearing a green shirt in front of a green screen, so his clothes appeared translucent. Even Conan couldn't contain his laughter.
  • Conan, Zac Efron and La Bamba sing Barbara Ann.
  • Conan's monologue on 12/18/12. Conan was on fire, and that was topped off by a zinger from Andy:
    Conan: There's not a sincere bone in your body.
    Andy: There's one. (Conan laughs so hard and goes over to Andy to shake his hand)
  • Bill Burr's rant about Lance Armstrong. While the rant is hilarious in itself, many watchers were more focused on Conan laughing so hard he has to hold back tears. And it's genuine laughter, too.
  • During a sketch featuring a man dressed in Simon Cowell's tight T-shirt, part of the interior of the costume fell off when the man left the stage. Andy drew attention to this, and Conan asked the behind-the-curtain stagehand what happened. Instead of coming out and handing the object to Conan, the stagehand merely underhand-tossed the object across the stage. Conan's reaction to this oddity was priceless.
    Conan: (as stagehand) "Show's called "Conan". You're Conan, you pick it up!"
  • After one "Fan Corrections", the audience booed loudly. But Conan was puzzled: "Who are we booing again??" After a couple seconds, a woman from the audience shouted, "THAT guy!" (referring to the fan who sent in the correction) This amused Conan, who claimed one person spoke for the entire audience.
    Conan: (in Edward G. Robinson accent) The results are in, Conan, and it was that guy, see??
  • Conan's Christmas decorations for the 2010 holiday season. Godzilla carrying a candy cane. A rabbi robot. A giant inflatable chicken sandwich.
  • Kevin Pollak's dead-on impersonations of Christopher Walken and Jack Nicholson, particularly the latter. It was as if Jack himself was in the room.
  • Conan visits the American Girl store. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Conan's surly reactions to Bill Tull's Cinco de Mayo money-saving tips during the rehearsal. Conan noted that none of the examples are really "money-saving", just "making things crazily". Two of the best instances:
    • Tull: "Take some chloroform, breathe it in, BOOM, siesta." Andy: "Aren't you tired of the high cost of naps?"
    • Tull: "Take a can of Beefaroni, pour it down the back of your pants, BOOM, montezuma's revenge." Conan: "I'm tired of expensive diarrhea. You guys have lost your fucking minds."
  • The entirety of Conan's car ride with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart.
  • After the Running Gag of "Alex Trebek Has Gone Insane", which manipulates Jeopardy! clues into hilarious gibberish, Trebek himself starts Adam Westing by getting back at Conan and sentence-mixing one of Conan's monologues into total gibberish. Alex then finishes up like so:
    Conan: Okay, Alex, I guess we're even now.
    Alex: All right, I'll agree to that, we're even. But before I go, I just want to leave you with one more thought. The next time you consider taking a person's words out of context and manipulating all of that to make them look foolish, I want you to think about this: The ex-president of Ukraine, James Van Der Beek, often massages weasels in order to extract this foul smelling waxy secretion that has bridge engineers all over the world screaming, 'Whassup?!'"
    • The best gibberish clue: "Oh my gosh. Rosie O'Donnell's dog took a crap in her mouth. It helps boost the immune system." Andy was greatly amused by this afterwards.
    Conan: That guy's gone off the rails! And apparently, they'll type anything he says.
    • Volume 7 has someone actually get one right:
    Alex: Oh my! Miley Cyrus blew 240,000 marsupials by using a vacuum pump in a trailer park, perhaps contributing to her violent hatred of muskrats & mankind.
    Contestant: What is Scientology?
    Alex: Yes, that's it.
    Conan: Someone got one right! Finally!
  • Even if you're not a fan of the Nick Offerman Reads Tweets from Young Female Celebrities segments, there is one that is undoubtedly hilarious
    Nick Offerman: Amanda Bynes tweeted..."Rawrr!"
  • A rehearsal outtake from the recurring segment where Andy lists the upcoming news stories he's working on for the week featured a bit about cow catapults. In the aired episode, a prop cow fell from the ceiling, but in rehearsal, the cow was merely lazily tossed by one of the stagehands. Andy chuckled at this, and Conan remarked, "Perfect! Don't change a thing!"
  • Any time Conan has George R. R. Martin on the show, Hilarity Ensues. GRRM consistently expresses his surprise that Game of Thrones is actually more violent than his original novels, and sometimes he has to reign in the show writers. And then he mentions a fan contest where someone won a replica of the Iron Throne:
    Conan: You're telling me that some guy in Hoboken is sitting on the Iron Throne right now? ::strikes a pose:: "A pizza shall be delivered!"
  • When the cast of Orange Is The New Black made an appearance, nearly every word out of Lea DeLaria's mouth was hilarious. Especially notable was the anecdote where Natasha Lyonne went to her for advice on how to properly simulate Lesbian sex. Her terminology and hand movements indicate something that can leave the average viewer scratching their heads...
    Lea DeLaria: And...look for the car keys, look for the car keys, Judy Garland...Joan Crawford.
  • In the third WikiBear sketch, Conan admonished the bear for (once again) bringing up disturbing facts that kids don't need to know. There was a brief pause, and Conan and WikiBear accidentally began to speak at the same time, prompting WikiBear to ad-lib and say, "Go ahead, sorry, I interrupted you!"
  • Every "Clueless Gamer" episode ever.
  • The whole "Larry King wants to be cryogenically frozen" interview:
    Conan: I was shocked that you want to be cryogenically frozen, why?
    Larry: Okay. I don't believe in an afterlife. I never made that leap of faith. So when you die, it's bye, bye, baby.
    Conan: Lights out, goodbye.
    Larry: So the only hope, the only fragment of hope is to be frozen and then some day they cure whatever you died of and you're back. So in other words you put me in the ground or you burn me up, eggghhh, I don't want that. I want to have a— I'm Jewish. We got to have hope. I have a fragment of hope (squeezes his fingers together), my wife is-
    Conan: I thought you were saying you want to be frozen at this size. "I want to be made real small, frozen and put in someone's drink."
    Larry: My wife... why do I come here?
    Conan: Larry, why does anybody come here?
    Larry: My wife is a devout Mormon. She is totally opposed to this. I said, "Look, I know you like to control things, but I can't die the way I want to die?" So I want to- pay attention: When I go, I want to be frozen.
    Conan: Well why are you putting the responsibility on me? Now I have got to go busting in to the hospital or wherever or Dodger stadium, wherever you are, I go to go busting in and say, "Everybody back, I'm taking him to the freezer!" You know. "Everybody back!"
    Larry: I have no idea. If, under the presumption that you don't believe there is anything after this, why is it stupid?
    Conan: I wouldn't say it's stupid. The only thing I always think about, they freeze you, all right. Then they unfreeze you and then they get you going again. At some point you got to go, right?
    Larry: But wait a second, at least you have another chance, what if by that time-
    Conan: You just want another TV show. You want thirty years from now, you come cracking out of the ice and go it's "Larry King ALIVE!" That's what you want!
    Larry: All right, why is that bad?
    Conan: Not a bad idea. I'll be there with you. I'll be a head in a jar floating. I'll be your first guest.
    Larry: My wife says to me, "It's stupid, you won't know anybody." I said, "I'll make new friends."
    Andy: Are you having your whole body frozen?
    Larry: A new book called out, "The Kid," the story of Ted Williams. The first chapter by Ben Bradley Jr., and there are two ways you can do it. You can do the whole body or they cut off the head, put the head aside and then attach it to a different body. It sounds weird.
    Conan: You know what I want? I want a different body now, that's what I want. I would like this head put on a great body now.
    Larry: Why? You have a great body.
    Conan: ...Hel-lo!
    Larry: You do.
    Conan: When did you notice that?
    Larry: I noticed it, Conan, when you did the little walk off there with that crazy bit with the Russian guy with the bear, you know. You know, folks, that wasn't in Russia.
    Conan: Now look what you did!
    Larry: Well, I hate to spoil your day.
    Conan: I had them right here where I wanted them! They thought it was a real guy and a real bear!

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