"Practice on a hot dog first. Otherwise you might rip your dick off."For some odd reason or another, a character receives a new hand(s), or is now capable of using their hands, etc. The instant implication is that the hands will then be used for masturbation, or are designed for this deed. See also Man, I Feel Like a Woman, another trope where a man's first instinct on changing his body is to set up A Date with Rosie Palms.
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- After cutting off and regrowing his hand, Deadpool makes clear his plans.
- It's specifically shown that his hand grows like a fast growth from infant to adult so yeah, Pool is going to be using a baby hand for that job.
- Discussed in Leviathan Wakes by James S. A. Corey. A minor character loses his hand in a setting where good prosthetics exist, and another character tells him there's a period in the prosthetic acclimatization that he should take advantage of where you have enough control over the hand to masturbate, but it still doesn't feel like it's your hand doing it.
- There's a somewhat similar situation in one of the Doctor Who Eighth Doctor Adventures novels involving a war veteran who has an injury that causes his arm to constantly shake. A woman jokes about the "advantages", making the Doctor confused and everyone else uncomfortable and embarrassed.
- On one episode of The One Show, Peter Kay was in the studio during an item on robotic prosthetic hands. They had an example of the breed on the desk, and he jokingly asked to take it home a number of times, with the heavy implication that he plans to do this.
- Happens with Jambi the Genie in the original Pee Wee Herman Show stage play.
- The Big Bang Theory: Howard + cutting-edge robotic hand + unexpected breakdown = Hilarity Ensues.
Leonard: What do you mean it happened again?
- Judging from the urgent phone-call Leonard gets from Howard at the end of the episode, he didn't learn his lesson;
- Actually subverted at first; in the preceding scene, all that can be heard is Howard moaning, and the camera cuts to him... getting a massage from the robotic hand.
- In Goblins, Dies-Horribly loses his hand in an adventurer attack, but a friendly refugee from a Douglas Adams novel saves him and gives him a replacement limb, made from a strange form of living metal. It's got the strength of metal, but is nearly as light as his original flesh, and can instantly reform if damaged. It also grows hooks, barbs and sharp edges on reflex if Dies-Horribly is scared (which happens a lot). Dies-Horribly comments that he'll have to be more careful where he puts that hand, demonstrating it with a... recognizeable motion. He then immediately denies the implications, claiming that he meant scratching an itch.
Dies-Horribly: For a floating, metal orb, you sure have a perverted mind!
- Ctrl+Alt+Del: AUUUGHWHY?!
- Exploitation Now: Among other improvements, Jordan Kennedy fitted her prosthetic hand with a vibrator mode...
- God Mode once explored the prospect of masturbating with a God Hand.
- In the Unsounded universe, some models of simulacra include features for this very purpose.
- Although Paul of Yahtzee Takes On The World has had the bionic arm for quite a while by this point, King Penguin is the first to point this trope out to him.
- Gus in the RoosterTeeth comic gets a robotic arm like the one in the Bionic Commando remake, and tries breaking it in. Cut to him laying comatose in a hospital with the doctor calling for the dick specialist.
- A variation in The Order of the Stick: upon being resurrected, one of the first things Roy does is lose his virginity with Celia. Interestingly, the trope isn't even mentioned when Roy actually became a woman.
- In one of the earliest episodes, Fry's hands get eaten by a T. rex. He's then taken to a "Handcrafters" store to get new hands. He says "I'll break them in tonight."
- In "The Devil's Hands are Idle Plaything", he switches hands with the robot devil. While the Robot Devil's hands immediately try to choke Fry, the robot devil complains that Fry's hands "keep touching me! In places!". Fry responds: "Yeah, they get around".
- "Family Guy Presents: Laugh It Up, Fuzzball":
- In "Something Something Something Dark Side", Chris/Luke Skywalker gets a replacement hand. The conversation between him and the doctor is the page quote.
- In "It's a Trap!", Herbert/Obi-Wan suggests Chris test it out by pretending he's pulling a carrot out of the ground.
- The "practice on a hot dog" line was earlier said in The Venture Bros., in the true history of Billy's hand.
- Ben 10: Alien Force: One of Ben's alien enemies was trapped in a duplicate of Ben's body. Among his complaints: the hands, which had an alarming tendency to scratch "places I suspect are inappropriate."
- Surprisingly inverted in an episode of American Dad!. Steve's hand is rendered numb, and the implication is that he would try to give himself a "stranger". However, he is robbed of the sexual experience of getting to second base, because he can't feel anything.
- In an episode of Code Monkeys, Jerry gets a replacement hand, a la Darth Vader. To make sure it works, Dave blindfolds Jerry, and then has him test it out on him.