- "Now I may be blind, but..." whatever follows is usually going to be hilarious.
- On the subject of Toots, his blindness makes him stumble around and make constant mistakes, but he is somehow still able to be a basketball prodigy.
- The way some of the clones relate to their adoptive families, such as Abe and his dad referring to each other as "Foster Dad" and "Foster Son", and JFK calling his adoptive homosexual fathers "Gay foster dads" rather than their names.
- A clone of Hitler pops up in the background of the film festival, but he wears a red armband with a peace sign on it.
- Practically everything Mr. Butlertron says;
Mr. Butlertron: Where are my bitches?!
Scudworth: He calls everyone "Wesley". Don't know why.
Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand
- Ghandi trying to help Abe out of having to get beer for JFK's party by suggesting he tell JFK that he misheard him, and that he'd "get the beards." Followed by a Cutaway Gag of everyone at the party wearing fake beards and loving it!
- "This isn't about who we hang out with! This is about not having to put your hand on your own buttock and pretend it's a woman's breast!"
- Abe and Ghandi try to get Genghis Khan to pretend to be 21 and by a keg of beer. It goes as well as you would assume.
Cashier: You over 21?Genghis: No.
- The clone of Elvis Presley is actually two twin brothers, one thin and one fat who apparently really let himself go over the summer and got addicted to junk food and tranquilizers.
- Abe's response to the X-Stream Blu show and the audience loving it:
Abe: (while looking straight ahead) Man, the audience was not having that. Huh, guys?
Joan: Uh, Abe?
Abe: Just give me a few more minutes of denial.
"That totally answered my question!!"
- Even better is Ghandi asking what's in the X-treme Blue and receiving a free t-shirt. His response?
- "I'm going to eat this ... baby!"
Abe: How'd he get my spaghetti video?
- "You know what hurts the most, Joan? This nail I just stepped on."
- JFK referring to election judge Marilyn Manson as "scary androgynous white guy".
- While Marilyn Manson's song sequence is pretty Nightmare-inducing ,but it's also pretty hilarious to see him do a song that is mostly the exact opposite of what he's usually known for. Albeit the lyrics are just as surreal.
A.D.D.: The Last 'D' Is for Disorder
- Almost everything Tom Green says probably qualifies, virtually all of which was ad libbed. For example:
Tom Green: Touch the book. Lick the book. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Book. Book. Book.Tom Green: BAAWWK! BAAAWWWK! I'm an albatross! I'm an albatross! [sing-songy voice] I'm flap, flap, flapping my albatross wiings, flap, flap, flapping my albatross wiiiings...(jumps out window)Tom Green: That's discrimination! Hey, you wanna go take a dump on my parents' bed?Tom Green: So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD, that's not cool. Coffee? Anyone f- Coffee, anyone? Huh? Sorry. I like cotton candy, check out my muscle, potato chips, it's a Ferris Wheel! So I guess what I'm trying to say is...(Spot a plastic bag blowing in the wind above and begins chasing it) Plastic bag! Plastic bag, plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag!
- Joan's Sanity Slippage when she thinks she's started hearing voices in her head like the original Joan of Arc.
Caesar: Be careful with that nail gun, Jesús.
- Double hilarious when it turns out the "voices" are actually broadcasts from a Christian radio station that Joan has been picking up with her dented retainer.
- Joan goes to the only person who could help her with his problem, Jesús Christonote . Who winds up being no help as he just gives the summary of a Jon of Arc film and tells Joan to calm down because "God has a plan for all of us. A painful, painful plan." This line makes him more than a little bitter. At the end of the scene, he (nearly?) shoots himself in the hand with a nail.
Film Fest: Tears of a Clone
- "Unacceptable?! Did you see the pool? They FLIPPED THE BITCH!"
- JFK throwing a plate glass window through a brick wall.
- "Flip the pool!" *Genghis Khan sets it on fire as well* "Thank you!"
- "Those lovable scamps! They're rioting at a college level!"
- And the fact that Buddha was the one to state "Let's destroy property to show how much we appreciate the team!"
- The Film Festival flyer Abe makes, which not only features poorly assembled clip art, but he also spelled it "Flim Festival".
- Abe's dreck of a movie It Takes A Hero, which is basically every cliched Ain't No Rule sports movie plot rolled into one mess.
- The show's use of Sigmund Freud. Literally. After Joan presents her student film, the clone of Freud is the only one who gets its meaning (while everyone else in the audience let out a simultaneous "huh") and starts mocking her for it.
Sigmund Freud: Ha ha! You love Abe! Could it be any more obvious?
Joan: Shut up, Sigmund Freud!
- Bonus points for giving Freud a singsongy Bavarian child voice as he teases her.
- Scuddworth breaking the "No religion or politics at dinner" rule in the same statement when his bosses come to dinner!
"So, religion is for fools, eh? Fools and liberals!"
Sleep of Faith: La Rue D'Awakening
- "Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys!" His car flips over.
- Before the start of the race, Cleo says that if both JFK and Abe die in the race, she'll mourn the corpse closest to the finish line.
- Joan pointing out that Abe's reaction time has been dulled by his lack of sleep.
Abe: My reaction is just fine!Joan: In three seconds, I'm going to slap you. *three seconds pass with Abe making no move to stop her. She slaps him* YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!
- When Joan and Ghandi stage an intervention for Abe, Ghandi talks about how he was so excited to see American Pie he couldnt sleep the night before, and fell asleep in the theater, and so he never got to see Jason Biggs have sex with the pie.
Abe: Why dont you just rent it?Ghandi: *beat* *rushes out the door* (later in the episode, he did indeed rent the movie, and is loving it)
- Joan reveals that she used to be addicted to going without sleep, and ended up so sleep deprived she got an Embarrassing Tattoo of a dolphin with the "Wazzup" catchphrase.
Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc
- The Clone High basketball team doesn't allow women or animals on it. An awful lot of their players have bushy mustaches...
- Abe's embarrassingly poor performance at school sports, especially his basketball playing, despite somehow having ended up team captain, presumably because he is one of the tallest kids at Clone High. Of note is his dedication shot to Cleo, which not only misses the net, but flies out the window and causes a car crash.
- Clone High and GESH (Genetically Engineered Super Human) High's rivalry, especially Scudworth and Colonel Principal (the GESH principal) betting on the outcome of the game. The year before, Colonel Principal won Scudworth's firstborn son. Whom he apparently promptly ate.
- The cute and cuddly Geshi, the mascot of GESH High, turns out to be a vicious predator when Gandhi sets him free, devouring everything in its path, including the trees, while Gandhi backs away slowly, whistling innocently.
- A subtle bit of Fridge Brilliance: Joan is never seen donning or removing her disguise, or even outright admitting that she's "John" before the end. Despite her pitiful attempt at a disguise, even the audience was supposed to be shocked by her reveal!
Plane Crazy: Gate Expectations
- Scudworth's feud with the Screwy Squirrel expy Skunky Poo, including him receiving gruesome, bloody injuries from staple cartoonish explosions and anvils.
Skunky Poo: TRY AND CATCH ME, BITCH!
- Gandhi's brief journey into rap music as "G-Spot" and his hit single "G-Spot Rocks the G-Spot".
- And his follow up single/music video, "UR A G Old Flag"
- Abe asking if he can ride along on Buddy Holly's plane, but bows out after Holly says that the plane also has Richie Valens, The Big Bopper and half of Lynyrd Skynyrd on board, and is the aerial version of The Alleged Car.
A Room of One's Clone: The Pie of the Storm
- Pretty much the entire episode. Especially the ending where all the characters have a giant pie fight, and Abe shows up to try and mediate, after having spent the third act at an amusement park THAT IS TOTALLY NOT DISNEYWORLD, learning conflict resolution from an animatronic Abraham Lincoln.
Abe: Everyone, stop your pie war! Please! My 8-inch Abe wants to talk to you! He's in my pants!Joan/Cleo/JFK/Ghandi/Everyone Else: O_O
Animatronic Lincoln: Try the churros!
- Abe was talking about a small replica of the Abraham Lincoln animatronic figure he bought at the amusement park
Toots: *shivering* Brr, storm's a-brewing... *the camera pans out, showing that the reason Toots is feeling cold is because he's sitting in front of an open fridge*JFK: *for some reason manning a lighthouse where he's standing on the bannister, holding a storm lantern* Storms a-brewin!Abe: *with Cleo* Storms a-brewin... in my heart!
- From the same episode, Cleo and Joan are forced to room together after Joans house burns down. They attempt to deal with the friction by painting a line across the entire room. The problem? They painted it HORIZONTALLY, meaning Joan ended up with the ceiling, where she crawls around like a spider, throwing things at Cleo.
- When the storm first rolls into town, we get various shots of different characters sensing it.
Toots: Now you dont need to worry about flooding Joanie. I built this house like Noah built his arc! Yep, this house is floodproof!*lightning strikes the house, burning it to the ground*Joan: Its gone Toots... all gone...Toots: *drags a boat across dry land with an oar* What a terrible flood! Holler when you see land, Joanie! (What makes this extra funny is that despite Toots insistance that there's a flood, its not even raining, much less flooding)
- When the storm starts picking up, Toots is reassuring Joan.
- The entire plot, but especially Abe adopting his Captain Lavender hippie persona after his first raisin bender, and Gandhi's strange spirit journey. Made even more hilarious when it turns out Your Mind Makes It Real.
- "Abe's my slave name, square!"
- The live action cat eating Ghandi.
- "Love is just an abstract concept! It cant knock down stuff!"
- JFK injuring himself while trying to chase off the moon when he's high on raisins.
JFK: The moon, it's chasing me! Everywhere I look, there it is! KNOCK IT OFF MOON! I'm coming up there! *attempts to jump up to the moon, but ends up crashing through the school skylight*
- At the PTA meeting, Abe's parents say that they found raisins in Abe's pocket, but he said they belonged to Ghandi.
Ghandi's Mother: Our Ghandi would never do drugs! On an unrelated note, he's been missing for four days.
Litter Kills: Litterally
- The subconscious hallucination of Poncey trying to explain to JFK that he isn't a ghost. Then JFK thinks he's a genie instead.
Poncey: "This is so frustrating."
- From the same episode:
JFK: I'm a Kennedy! I'm not accustomed to tragedy!
- And during the funeral:
JFK: I WAS IN A COFFIN WITH A DEAD GUY! [runs off screaming]
- From the same episode:
- Julius Caesar eating popcorn at the funeral.
- Ponce's Death by Irony, where so many things go wrong in only a matter of seconds.
Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Episode
- Toots goes out looking for Joan and brings home a mountain lion by mistake, which keeps attacking him. When the real Joan finally comes back, Toots has the lion's pelt draped over his shoulders:
Toots: Joanie! I thought you were dead!(Joan is visibly shocked)Toots: I shot ya for biting me so much!
- After Toots brings the mountain lion home and it starts biting him:
Toots: You know my Achilles tendon is my ONE Achilles heel!
- Cleo is upset that Joan's not sticking around for her Snowflake Day party:
Cleo: But you're serving the crackers! Where am I going to find a cracker girl at this late hour?!Toots: Uh, Fourth and Maple.
- Cleo's response to Joan's attempt at sabotaging her party:
Cleo: You've just earned yourself a one-way ticket to Snowflake Jake's Ill-Mannered List.Cleo's Drunk Foster Mom (Slurring): Your behavior is an emBARRAS-*passes out*
- After Toots brings the mountain lion home and it starts biting him:
- The Running Gag about Abe injuring his mouth. First Napoleon forces him to eat a glass he dropped at the dish pit, then he cuts his cheek open with the Knork (knife+fork), and finally he eats one of the weenie tots that Joan hid razorblades in.
Abe: WHY DO I KEEP CUTTING MY MOUTH?!!
- The ridiculous Knork Abe and Ghandi "invented" (it's clearly a cheese knife). The design process completely gets away from them until they end up with a coal-powered monstrosity you strap to your back. When they attempt to demonstrate it to potential customers, it goes haywire and carves up Abe's face.
- The homeless teenager who looks like Mandy Moore that Joan meets. She insists she isnt Mandy Moore though.
Joan: So... you're just an incredibly hot homeless person?"Mandy": You'd be surprised how many ab rollers you find in the trash.
- The sheer stupidity of Snowflake Day, which was created in a well-meaning but incompetent attempt at creating a non-exclusionary secular holiday, which ended up usurping all actual religious holidays. For one thing, the holidays mascot is Pirate Jake, who brings children "spices upon spices".
Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode
- JFK wants a pahty platta.
- The flyer that Abe distributed around the school advertising for someone to take Joan to the prom. It features a snarling Joan pointing at the viewer a la Uncle Sam with the caption "I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO THE PROM." And these delightful facts below.
Good birthing hips