- Ghandi trying to help Abe out of having to get beer for JFK's party by suggesting he tell JFK that he misheard him, and that he'd "get the beards." Followed by a Cutaway Gag of everyone at the party wearing fake beards and loving it!
- Almost everything Tom Green says probably qualifies. For example:
Tom Green: Touch the book. Lick the book. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Book. Book. Book.
Tom Green: BAAWWK! BAAAWWWK! I'm an albatross! I'm an albatross! [sing-songy voice] I'm flap, flap, flapping my albatross wiings, flap, flap, flapping my albatross wiiiings... (jumps out window)
Tom Green: That's discrimination! Hey, you wanna go take a dump on my parents' bed?
Tom Green: So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD, that's not cool. Coffee? Anyone f- Coffee, anyone? Huh? Sorry. I like cotton candy, check out my muscle, potato chips, it's a Ferris Wheel! So I guess what I'm trying to say is...(Spot a plastic bag blowing in the wind above and begins chasing it) Plastic bag! Plastic bag, plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag!
- "This isn't about who we hang out with! This is about not having to put your hand on your own buttock and pretend it's a woman's breast!"
- The Film Festival flyer Abe made in "Tears of a Clone", which not only features poorly assembled clip art, but he also spelled it "Flim Festival".
- The flyer that Abe distributed around the school advertising for someone to take Joan to the prom. It features a snarling Joan pointing at the viewer with the caption "I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO THE PROM." And these delightful facts below.
Good birthing hips
- "Unacceptable?! Did you see the pool? They FLIPPED THE BITCH!"
- JFK threw a plate glass window through a brick wall.
- "Flip the pool!" *sets it on fire as well* "Thank you!"
- "Those lovable scamps! They're rioting at a college level!"
- And the fact that Buddha was the one to state "Let's destroy property to show how much we appreciate the team!"
- The show's use of Freud Was Right. Literally. After Joan presents her student film, the clone of Freud is the only one who gets its meaning (while everyone else in the audience let out a simultaneous "huh") and starts mocking her for it.
Sigmund Freud: Ha ha! You love Abe! Could it be any more obvious?
Joan: Shut up, Sigmund Freud!
- Bonus points for giving Freud a singsongy Bavarian child voice as he teases her.
- Joan's Sanity Slippage when she thinks she's started hearing voices in her head like the original Joan of Arc.
- Double hilarious when it turns out the "voices" are actually broadcasts from a Christian radio station that Joan has been picking up with her dented retainer.
- "Now I may be blind, but..." whatever follows is usually a CMOF.
- On the subject of Toots, his blindness makes him stumble around and make constant mistakes, but he is somehow still able to be a basketball prodigy.
- From the Snowflake Day episode, Toots goes out looking for Joan and brings home a mountain lion by mistake, which keeps attacking him. When the real Joan finally comes back:
Toots: Joanie! Ah Joanie I thought you were dead!
(Joan is visibly shocked)
Toots: I shot ya for biting me so much!
''' Toots: You know my Achilles tendon is my ONE Achilles heel!
- Practically everything Mr. Butlertron says;
Mr. Butlertron: Where are my bitches?!
- Abe's response to the X-Stream Blu show and the audience loving it:
- Abe's dreck of a movie It Takes A Hero, which is basically every cliched Ain't No Rule sports movie plot rolled into one mess.
- The entire plot of Raisins: A Rock Opera In Three Parts, but especially Abe adopting his Captain Lavender hippie persona after his first raisin bender, and Gandhi's strange spirit journey. Made even more hilarious when it turns out Your Mind Makes It Real.
- "Abe's my slave name, square!"
- The way some of the clones relate to their adoptive families, such as Abe and his dad referring to each other as "Foster Dad" and "Foster Son", and JFK calling his adoptive homosexual fathers "Gay foster dads" rather than their names.
- Gandhi's brief journey into rap music as "G-Spot" and his hit single "G-Spot Rocks the G-Spot".
- And his follow up single/music video, "UR A G Old Flag"
- "You know what hurts the most, Joan? This nail I just stepped on."
- JFK referring to election judge Marilyn Manson as "scary androgynous white guy".
- A clone of Hitler pops up in the background of the film festival, but he wears a red armband with a peace sign on it.
- The clone of Elvis Presley is actually two twin brothers, one thin and one fat who apparently really let himself go over the summer and got addicted to junk food and tranquilizers.
- Abe asking if he can ride along on Ritchie Valens' plane, but bows out after Valens says that the plane also has Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper and half of Lynyrd Skynyrd on board, and is the aerial version of The Alleged Car.
- The Clone High basketball team doesn't allow women or animals on it. An awful lot of their players have bushy mustaches...
- Abe's embarrassingly poor performance at school sports, especially his basketball playing, despite somehow having ended up team captain, presumably because he is one of the tallest kids at Clone High. Of note is his dedication shot to Cleo, which not only misses the net, but flies out the window and causes a car crash.
- Clone High and GESH (Genetically Engineered Super Human) High's rivalry, especially Scudworth and Colonel Principal (the GESH principal) betting on the outcome of the game. The year before, Colonel Principal won Scudworth's firstborn son. Whom he apparently promptly ate.
- Scudworth's feud with the Screwy Squirrel expy Skunky Poo in "Plane Crazy", including him receiving gruesome, bloody injuries from staple cartoonish explosions and anvils.
Skunky Poo: TRY AND CATCH ME, BITCH!
- The cute and cuddly Geshi, the mascot of GESH High, turns out to be a vicious predator when Gandhi sets him free, devouring everything in its path, including the trees, while Gandhi backs away slowly, whistling innocently.
- JFK wants a pahty platta.
- The subconscious hallucination of Poncey trying to explain to JFK that he isn't a ghost. Then JFK thinks he's a genie instead.
Poncey: "This is so frustrating."
- Julius Caesar eating popcorn at the funeral.
- "I'm going to eat this ... baby!"
Abe: How'd he get my spaghetti video?
- "Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys!"
- Scuddworth breaking the "No religion or politics at dinner" rule in the same statement when his bosses come to dinner!
"So, religion is for fools, eh? Fools and liberals!"
- Jesús Christo's sole time shown in the show is pure gold.
- In the pilot, Abe and Ghandi try to get Genghis Khan to pretend to be 21 and by a keg of beer. It goes as well as you would assume.
Cashier: You over 21?
- Pretty much the entire episode The Pie of the Storm. Especially the ending where all the characters have a giant pie fight, and Abe shows up to try and mediate, after having spent the third act at an amusement park THAT IS TOTALLY NOT DISNEYWORLD, learning conflict resolution from an animatronic Abraham Lincoln.
- Abe was talking about a small replica of the Abraham Lincoln animatronic figure he bought at the amusement park
Animatronic Lincoln: Try the churros!
- From the same episode, Cleo and Joan are forced to room together after Joans house burns down. They attempt to deal with the friction by painting a line across the entire room. The problem? They painted it HORIZONTALLY, meaning Joan ended up with the ceiling, where she crawls around like a spider, throwing things at Cleo.