- "Now I may be blind, but..." whatever follows is usually going to be hilarious.
- On the subject of Toots, his blindness makes him stumble around and make constant mistakes, but he is somehow still able to be a basketball prodigy.
- The way some of the clones relate to their adoptive families, such as Abe and his dad referring to each other as "Foster Dad" and "Foster Son", and JFK calling his adoptive homosexual fathers "Gay foster dads" rather than their names.
- A clone of Hitler pops up in the background of the film festival, but he wears a red armband with a peace sign on it.
- Practically everything Mr. Butlertron says;
Mr. Butlertron: Where are my bitches?!
Scudworth: He calls everyone "Wesley". Don't know why.
Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand
- Ghandi trying to help Abe out of having to get beer for JFK's party by suggesting he tell JFK that he misheard him, and that he'd "get the beards." Followed by a Cutaway Gag of everyone at the party wearing fake beards and loving it!
- "This isn't about who we hang out with! This is about not having to put your hand on your own buttock and pretend it's a woman's breast!"
- Abe and Ghandi try to get Genghis Khan to pretend to be 21 and buy a keg of beer. It goes as well as you would expect.
Cashier: You over 21?Genghis: No.
- The clone of Elvis Presley is actually two twin brothers, one thin and one fat who apparently really let himself go over the summer and got addicted to junk food and tranquilizers.
- Principal Scudworth's Establishing Character Moment: he's introduced spying on the clones with hidden cameras and giggling to himself like a lunatic. When the leader of the Shadowy Figures interrupt him, we get this exchange:
Leader: There's a growing concern among the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures that you may be... completely insane.Scudworth: BLASPHEMY!! *takes off a small paper hat he's wearing and places it in a drawer marked "Pirate Hats"*Leader: Well, you do have a robot butler named Mr Butlertron.Butlertron: Anyone for scones?Scudworth: Why, creating a merchanical british servant is no more crazy than that tie your wearing!Leader *glances down, clearly not wearing a tie*
- Scudworths plot in the episode revolves around the Leader forcing him to write an essay on what it's like to be a student at Clone High to show he knows what he's doing. Scudworth first tries interogating Joan Of Arc by tying her to a chair, but flips his lid when she makes fun of Jay Leno and drops her into his Death Maze as punishment. His second idea involves dressing up as teenagers and going undercover at JFK's party. It turns into a disaster (for him, Butlertron is accepted), and he ends the night being used as a pinata by Genghis Khan. When the Leader is about to kill him for failing his assignment, Scudworths teary-eyed description of all the pain he suffered convinces him that Scudworth knows what it's like being a teenager. Scudworth pledges to be more understanding of the issues faced by his teenage students... which he almost immediatly forgets about and casually makes fun of an obese student.
- When Cleo talks to Abe, he immediatly freezes up, then tries to look cool by casually leaning against the school trophy case.. which shatters under his weight, slicing up his arm.
- Mr Sheepman, the school history teacher, is the worlds first (mostly) human clone; his creators spliced in sheep DNA, giving him sheep-like features and wool on his upper body. When he "gets ready for the weekend", he shaves the wool down to look like a tank top.
- Abe's response to the X-Stream Blu show and the audience loving it:
Abe: (while looking straight ahead) Man, the audience was not having that. Huh, guys?
Joan: Uh, Abe?
Abe: Just give me a few more minutes of denial.
"That totally answered my question!!"
- Even better is Ghandi asking what's in the X-treme Blue and receiving a free t-shirt. His response?
- "I'm going to eat this ... baby!"
Abe: How'd he get my spaghetti video?
- JFK's entire campaign speech is just him detailing his workout routine.
- "You know what hurts the most, Joan? This nail I just stepped on."
- JFK referring to election judge Marilyn Manson as "scary androgynous white guy".
- While Marilyn Manson's song sequence is pretty Nightmare-inducing ,but it's also pretty hilarious to see him do a song that is mostly the exact opposite of what he's usually known for. Albeit the lyrics are just as surreal.
- Abe and Joan sitting out on two separate "thinking bridges" on a lake. When Abe tries to storm off in a huff, he walks the wrong way and plunges into the water.
- Scudworth wasting the sponsorship money on bling. When Mr Butlertron points out he should probably save some of it, Scudworth says that he watched the first two thirds of the MC Hammer Behind The Music special, and if there's one thing he learned from that, it's that money never runs out.
- One of the things he spends money on is getting Mr Butlertron gold-plated and hydrualically lowered.
A.D.D.: The Last 'D' Is for Disorder
- Almost everything Tom Green says probably qualifies, virtually all of which was ad libbed. For example:
Tom Green: Touch the book. Lick the book. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Lickthebook. Book. Book. Book.Tom Green: BAAWWK! BAAAWWWK! I'm an albatross! I'm an albatross! [sing-songy voice] I'm flap, flap, flapping my albatross wiings, flap, flap, flapping my albatross wiiiings...(jumps out window)Tom Green: That's discrimination! Hey, you wanna go take a dump on my parents' bed?Tom Green: So some of you may have been mean to a kid with ADD, that's not cool. Coffee? Anyone f- Coffee, anyone? Huh? Sorry. I like cotton candy, check out my muscle, potato chips, it's a Ferris Wheel! So I guess what I'm trying to say is...(Spot a plastic bag blowing in the wind above and begins chasing it) Plastic bag! Plastic bag, plastic bag! Plastic bag! Plastic bag!
- Joan's Sanity Slippage when she thinks she's started hearing voices in her head like the original Joan of Arc.
Caesar: Be careful with that nail gun, Jesús.
- Double hilarious when it turns out the "voices" are actually broadcasts from a Christian radio station that Joan has been picking up with her dented retainer.
- Joan goes to the only person who could help her with his problem, Jesús Christonote . Who winds up being no help as he just gives the summary of a Joan of Arc film and tells Joan to calm down because "God has a plan for all of us. A painful, painful plan." This line makes him more than a little bitter. At the end of the scene, he (nearly?) shoots himself in the hand with a nail.
- The theme for Cleopatra's awareness fair is awareness.
- Ghandis crappy "impressions" (which Abe loves).
Joan: Listen Spaz, putting straws in your nose is not an impression, you really are a guy with straws in your nose!
- The witch hunt against Ghandi for having ADD, which the parents have apparently mistaken for AIDS.
Film Fest: Tears of a Clone
- "Unacceptable?! Did you see the pool? They FLIPPED THE BITCH!"
- JFK throwing a plate glass window through a brick wall.
- "Flip the pool!" *Genghis Khan sets it on fire as well* "Thank you!"
- "Those lovable scamps! They're rioting at a college level!"
- And the fact that Buddha was the one to state "Let's destroy property to show how much we appreciate the team!"
- The Film Festival flyer Abe makes, which not only features poorly assembled clip art, but he also spelled it "Flim Festival".
- Abe's dreck of a movie It Takes A Hero, which is basically every cliched Ain't No Rule sports movie plot rolled into one mess. When screened at the festival, the audience is incredibly bored.
- The show's use of Sigmund Freud. Literally. After Joan presents her student film, the clone of Freud is the only one who gets its meaning (while everyone else in the audience let out a simultaneous "huh") and starts mocking her for it.
Sigmund Freud: Ha ha! You love Abe! Could it be any more obvious?
Joan: Shut up, Sigmund Freud!
- Bonus points for giving Freud a singsongy Bavarian child voice as he teases her.
- Scuddworth breaking the "No religion or politics at dinner" rule in the same statement when his bosses come to dinner!
"So, religion is for fools, eh? Fools and liberals!"
- After all that trouble, the students riot AGAIN, and burn down the school in a fit of enthusiasm about the festival.
Sleep of Faith: La Rue D'Awakening
- "Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys!" His car flips over.
- Before the start of the race, Cleo says that if both JFK and Abe die in the race, she'll mourn the corpse closest to the finish line.
- Joan pointing out that Abe's reaction time has been dulled by his lack of sleep.
Abe: My reaction is just fine!Joan: In three seconds, I'm going to slap you. *three seconds pass with Abe making no move to stop her. She slaps him* YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!
- After Abe crashes his shopping cart into an Animal Crackers display at the store, Joan warns him that the next time the box might be filled with real animals. Abe just scoffs at this; "Yeah Joan, I'm going to hit a big box of animals". Unfortunately for him, that day a local zoo is transporting a truck full of the worlds remaining pandas... which of course Abe almost crashes into.
- When Joan and Ghandi stage an intervention for Abe, Ghandi talks about how he was so excited to see American Pie he couldnt sleep the night before, and fell asleep in the theater, and so he never got to see Jason Biggs have sex with the pie.
Abe: Why dont you just rent it?
Ghandi: *beat* *rushes out the door* (later in the episode, he did indeed rent the movie, and is loving it)
- Joan reveals that she used to be addicted to going without sleep, and ended up so sleep deprived she got an Embarrassing Tattoo of a dolphin with the "Wazzup" catchphrase.
- Ghandis subplot about being nervous about the SAT tests, to the point where he wants to just skip taking them. He ends up befriending a weird trucker who teaches him various SAT problems through bad metaphors, only to find out that the trucker is actually Dead All Along, and is in fact the ghost of the Rhode scholar who invented the tests. What really makes this funny is that we see Ghandi have a sudden realization that he's just been talking to himself the whole time, and that both the trucker and his truck were invisible. This includes Ghandi pumping gas into nothing, and somehow floating down the road two feet off the ground!
- Ghandi's foster mom threatening to kill herself when Ghandi says he wants to be a trucker. "I'm getting out the good noose!"
- The reveal for why test takers have to use Nr 2 Pencils; it's part of a 50-year plan by the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures to power up Scantron 3000, a robot that uses the Nr 2 Pencil lead as his power source to take over the world. It's especially funny because they never explain why they didn't just feed the lead directly to him and chose such a complex way of undertaking the plan. Not to mention that the plan is foiled at the last minute by Mr Butlertron feeding Scantron a test taken with a Nr 3 Pencil, then destroying him with a Logic Bomb.
Homecoming: A Shot in D'Arc
- The Clone High basketball team doesn't allow women or animals on it. An awful lot of their players have bushy mustaches...
- Abe's embarrassingly poor performance at school sports, especially his basketball playing, despite somehow having ended up team captain, presumably because he is one of the tallest kids at Clone High. Of note is his dedication shot to Cleo, which not only misses the net, but flies out the window and causes a car crash.
- Clone High and GESH (Genetically Engineered Super Human) High's rivalry, especially Scudworth and Colonel Principal (the GESH principal) betting on the outcome of the game. The year before, Colonel Principal won Scudworth's firstborn son. Whom he apparently promptly ate.
- The cute and cuddly Geshi, the mascot of GESH High, turns out to be a vicious predator when Gandhi sets him free, devouring everything in its path, including the trees, while Gandhi backs away slowly, whistling innocently.
- A subtle bit of Fridge Brilliance: Joan is never seen donning or removing her pitiful attempt at a disguise, or even outright admitting that she's "John" before the end. The audience was supposed to be shocked by her reveal too!
- During a team workout, JFK tells the team that to distract themselves from the homoerotic nature of the mens-only weight room, they should tell stories about sexual hookups. Joan almost blows her cover by saying she'd never kiss and tell.
- After Joan reveals herself, she does indeed make the winning goal (well, A goal, GESH still won but Scudworths bet was that Clone High would score a point at all)... except everyone gives ABE the credit because he was the one who convinced Scudworth to let Joan throw.
- Toots claiming that he was kept out of pro basketball by racism. While it's true basketball was segregated in his youth, in his case it probably has more to do with him being completely blind. He can make a nice freethrow, but trips as soon as he walks.
Plane Crazy: Gate Expectations
- Scudworth's feud with the Screwy Squirrel expy Skunky Poo, including him receiving gruesome, bloody injuries from staple cartoonish explosions and anvils.
Skunky Poo: TRY AND CATCH ME, BITCH!
Crabby: YOU'VE GOT CRABS, ASSFACE!
- At the end, Scudworth goes on vacation, only to run afoul of another cartoon character named Crabby Cakes.
Scudworth: Free Bacon for Scudworths? Why, I'M a Scudworth! *takes a bacon piece, only to get smashes by the anvil* OH MY GOD, THE AGONY!! NOTHING CAN BE WORSE THAN THE PAIN I FEEL AT THIS MOMENT!!
- The scene where Scudworth sets up an anvil trap with bacon as the bait, becaus everyone knows skunks love free bacon. He then forgets that he's the one who set the trap because Skunky scribbles in "For Scudworths" on the Free Bacon sign.
- Gandhi's brief journey into rap music as "G-Spot" and his hit single "G-Spot Rocks the G-Spot".
- And his follow up single/music video, "UR A G Old Flag"
- Abe asking if he can ride along on Buddy Holly's plane, but bows out after Holly says that the plane also has Richie Valens, The Big Bopper and half of Lynyrd Skynyrd on board, and is the aerial version of The Alleged Car.
- The constant repetition of the cliche "Race To The Airport" trope, to the point that even Skunky Poo does it at the end... though only to call Scudworth "bitch" one last time.
A Room of One's Clone: The Pie of the Storm
- Pretty much the entire episode. Especially the ending where all the characters have a giant pie fight, and Abe shows up to try and mediate, after having spent the third act at an amusement park THAT IS TOTALLY NOT DISNEYWORLD, learning conflict resolution from an animatronic Abraham Lincoln.
Abe: Everyone, stop your pie war! Please! My 8-inch Abe wants to talk to you! He's in my pants!Joan/Cleo/JFK/Ghandi/Everyone Else: O_O
Animatronic Lincoln: Try the churros!
- Abe was talking about a small replica of the Abraham Lincoln animatronic figure he bought at the amusement park
Toots: *shivering* Brr, storm's a-brewing... *the camera pans out, showing that the reason Toots is feeling cold is because he's sitting in front of an open fridge*JFK: *for some reason manning a lighthouse where he's standing on the bannister, holding a storm lantern* Storms a-brewin!Abe: *with Cleo* Storms a-brewin... in my heart!
- From the same episode, Cleo and Joan are forced to room together after Joans house burns down. They attempt to deal with the friction by painting a line across the entire room. The problem? They painted it HORIZONTALLY, meaning Joan ended up with the ceiling, where she crawls around like a spider, throwing things at Cleo.
- When the storm first rolls into town, we get various shots of different characters sensing it.
Toots: Now you dont need to worry about flooding Joanie. I built this house like Noah built his arc! Yep, this house is floodproof!*lightning strikes the house, burning it to the ground*Joan: Its gone Toots... all gone...Toots: *drags a boat across dry land with an oar* What a terrible flood! Holler when you see land, Joanie! (What makes this extra funny is that despite Toots insistance that there's a flood, its not even raining, much less flooding)
- When the storm starts picking up, Toots is reassuring Joan.
- The entire plot, but especially Abe adopting his Captain Lavender hippie persona after his first raisin bender, and Gandhi's strange spirit journey. Made even more hilarious when it turns out Your Mind Makes It Real.
- "Abe's my slave name, square!"
- After falling off Scudworth's wall, Abe hits his head and has a strange vision of Abraham Lincoln telling him to rally the teens against the "evil raisin", and if he does, Cleo will totally do him. When he comes to, he's made an important realization: "Man, I look like a jackass in these rainbow shorts!"
- The live action cat eating Ghandi.
- "Love is just an abstract concept! It cant knock down stuff!"
- Abe and Cleo talking about going to "2nd And a Half Base" (which is apparently under the shirt, over the bra). When Cleo asks if Abe brought protection, Abe shows that he's wearing oven mitts.
- JFK injuring himself while trying to chase off the moon when he's high on raisins.
JFK: The moon, it's chasing me! Everywhere I look, there it is! KNOCK IT OFF MOON! I'm coming up there! *attempts to jump up to the moon, but ends up crashing through the school skylight*
- At the PTA meeting, Abe's parents say that they found raisins in Abe's pocket, but he said they belonged to Ghandi.
Ghandi's Mother: Our Ghandi would never do drugs! On an unrelated note, he's been missing for four days.
- The reveal that the Agressive Drug Dealer The Pusher is really just celebrity guest Jack Black, having been hired to drum up raisin sales
- The song "Pusher Man" where The Pusher sings about getting kids hooked on raisins, and that it's a gateway drug to shooting up apricots.
Litter Kills: Litterally
- The subconscious hallucination of Poncey trying to explain to JFK that he isn't a ghost. Then JFK thinks he's a genie instead.
Poncey: "This is so frustrating."
- From the same episode:
JFK: I'm a Kennedy! I'm not accustomed to tragedy!
- And during the funeral:
JFK: I WAS IN A COFFIN WITH A DEAD GUY! [runs off screaming]
- From the same episode:
- Julius Caesar eating popcorn at the funeral.
- Ponce's Death by Irony, where so many things go wrong in only a matter of seconds.
- Ponce is apparently so idolized by the other students that they constantly litter just because he does.
- JFK having a massive breakdown in the back of Abe's car. Even playing a Gameboy isnt enough to take his mind off it.
JFK: Now Mario's dead! Why couldnt Ponce have had three lives like Mario?!
Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Episode
- Toots goes out looking for Joan and brings home a mountain lion by mistake, which keeps attacking him. When the real Joan finally comes back, Toots has the lion's pelt draped over his shoulders:
Toots: Joanie! I thought you were dead!(Joan is visibly shocked)Toots: I shot ya for biting me so much!
- After Toots brings the mountain lion home and it starts biting him:
Toots: You know my Achilles tendon is my ONE Achilles heel!
- Cleo is upset that Joan's not sticking around for her Snowflake Day party:
Cleo: But you're serving the crackers! Where am I going to find a cracker girl at this late hour?!Toots: Uh, Fourth and Maple.
- Cleo's response to Joan's attempt at sabotaging her party:
Cleo: You've just earned yourself a one-way ticket to Snowflake Jake's Ill-Mannered List.Cleo's Drunk Foster Mom (Slurring): Your behavior is an emBARRAS-*passes out*
- After Toots brings the mountain lion home and it starts biting him:
- The Running Gag about Abe injuring his mouth. First Napoleon forces him to eat a glass he dropped at the dish pit, then he cuts his cheek open with the Knork (knife+fork), and finally he eats one of the weenie tots that Joan hid razorblades in.
Abe: WHY DO I KEEP CUTTING MY MOUTH?!!
- The ridiculous Knork Abe and Ghandi "invented" (it's clearly a cheese knife). The design process completely gets away from them until they end up with a coal-powered monstrosity you strap to your back. When they attempt to demonstrate it to potential customers, it goes haywire and carves up Abe's face.
- The homeless teenager who looks like Mandy Moore that Joan meets. She insists she isnt Mandy Moore though.
Joan: So... you're just an incredibly hot homeless person?"Mandy": You'd be surprised how many ab rollers you find in the trash.
- The sheer stupidity of Snowflake Day, which was created in a well-meaning but incompetent attempt at creating a non-exclusionary secular holiday, which ended up usurping all actual religious holidays. For one thing, the holidays mascot is Pirate Jake, who brings children "spices upon spices".
Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode
- JFK wants a pahty platta.
- The flyer that Abe distributed around the school advertising for someone to take Joan to the prom. It features a snarling Joan pointing at the viewer a la Uncle Sam with the caption "I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO THE PROM." And these delightful facts below.
Good birthing hips
- Abe/Toots/Cleo: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking? MAKEOVER!!
- Joan: "Suicide!"
- Scudworth: "Are you programed to be thinking what I'm thinking?"
- Joan screaming in horror over the horrible makeover Abe gave her.
- A well-meaning Toots makes Joans makeover even worse due to being blind.
- After Ghandi unknowingly rejects her, Marie Curie gets a new prom date... Rock Hudson. Yeah, good luck with that, Marie.
- Scudworth having Easy Amnesia after waking up from fainting in the past episode. He's confused why he's wearing lab gloves.
Scudworth: ...was I doing dishes?
- Scudworth immediatly regaining all his memories after Butlertron reminds him of his feud with John Stamos, except for the last 30 seconds before he passed out. Which is a problem, because it was the Shadowy Figures telling him they're terminating the project and seizing the clones.
- The Shadowy Figures have gathered everyone involved in the conspiracy, including the various celebrity guests who appeared throughout the series, telling them they're about to make their move... then the Leader tells everyone to make sure to go to the bathroom before they leave. They still have to stop several times on the way to the prom.
- The prom is being held in a meat locker at a local slaughterhouse because someone scuffed the floors in the school gym.
- JFK takes three backup dates to the prom; the Bronte Sisters. He ends up giving them to The Three Stooges.