Van Helsinki is an amateur horedy (comedy/horror) film created, written, directed and partially filmed by Matthew Edwards. An odd blend of semi-surrealism and plain student-film styles, Van Helsinki tells the story of the eponymous character, Van Helsinki, a hard-bitten ex-cop who is hunting his arch-nemesis, the Vampire named Geoff Vampire. Along for the ride are Fay LÝren, a beautiful girl with a mysterious past, and Svetlana, Man, Jim and Woman, civilians caught up in the madness. Backed up by his ex-collegues Inspector Someone-Who-Is-Not-David-Bowie and Professor Ford, Van uses all his skill and craziness to deal with Geoff.Van Helsinki was screened in Penrith Cinema on Friday 13th September 2013, and will be available on DVD sometime during 2014...perhaps.Also see Van Helsinki Character Sheet, the IMDB listing  and the official website 
The film Van Helsinki contains examples of:
Aborted Declaration of Love: Van just can't ask Professor Ford to go anywhere with him. In the original draft (and a deleted scene) this is subverted when, after Geoff is dead, Ford asks to go for a drink with Van, and he accepts.
Atonement Detective: Van can be seen this way. Even more if you read some of the backstory in the script about the Loren Case.
Artistic License Ė Gun Safety: Everybody, but especially the Inspector, who both stares down the end of his gun barrel and gestures to himself while holding the gun. Justified by Van Helsinki, as he's not exactly sane to start with.
Bottomless Magazines: Averted by Van Helsinki, while we never see him reload, he doesn't ever use more bullets than his magazine would hold, and he even runs dry when shooting at Geoff. Played straight by everyone else, especially Man and Jim.
Camp Gay: Geoff, at times, especially when he calls Van 'darling' in one scene. Noticed by those involved in the film, as two separately christened the character 'The Campire'.
Cartridges in Flight: Van and Fay's duel. Made even more bizarre when you realise the cartridges were the same size and model, yet the two guns which fired them were completely different.
Combat Pragmatist: Van and Geoff. Neither is above hitting/kicking a man/vampire when he's down.
Cool Gun: Van's double-barrelled shotgun and Fay's assault rifle count.
Fanservice: Fay, arguably. Certainly for the cast. Also possibly Svetlana at times.
Femme Fatale: Played with. Ford says Fay might be 'a mysterious girl who may be help, or merely just another femme fatale'. In reality, she is nothing like a femme fatale, and not all that much help either.
Finishing Move: Van does one on Geoff, and arguably on Fay, with his headshot.
Improbable Aiming Skills: The gunfight between Van and Fay sees them knock each other's bullets out of the air. Fay also manages to fire both her guns away from her and scores a hit despite not looking.
Insistent Terminology: Van calling Ford 'Professor Ford' despite her denying being a professor at all. It's about the most romantic he gets.
Instant Death Bullet: Jim and Man during the gunfight with Fay. Averted with Fay, as Van shoots her twice, then carefully aims another shot at her head to make sure.
It's Personal: For Fay. She had her parents killed by Geoff. Also for Van. Do not take the duck he wanted.
No Name Given: The Creepy Man, whom the script just calls 'Creepy Man'. Also Mr. Loren and the Operators in the original script drafts. Also 'Professor Ford', who has no first name revealed. One of the fanfictions claims it's Jenny.
No Pronunciation Guide: Fay LÝren. She says 'Luh-Ren', the Inspector says 'Lauren' and Van calls her 'Luhr-ren'.
Not So Different: Van argues this about himself and Geoff. Geoff isn't having any of it.
Occult Detective: Van, all over. He even says that 'I wouldn't be here if it were something so simple'.
Pillow Pistol: Not exactly under the pillow, but tucked in the back of Van's trousers.
Phallic Weapon: Man's baseball bat, 'Franco', even moreso when he caresses it and croons its name. Van Helsinki's shotgun 'Norty Nigel' may also count, especially when he shoves it in Jim's face with the line 'Say hello to Norty Nigel'.
Police Are Useless: Arguable. Ford and the Inspector spend most of their time waiting for Van and eating biscuits, and the cops sent in before him came out 'ranting and raving about demons and the like'. On the other hand, they were dealing with a Vampire-alien.
Stray Shots Strike Nothing: Most notably when Man and Jim try to gun down Fay at the top of the stairs. They fire about 10-20 shots, but not only do they not hit Fay, they do not damage anything around her either.
The Southpaw: Van, while ambidextrous, does seem to favour his left hand, most notably with his M1911 at the end of the film. His actor is certainly left-handed.
Throw Away Guns: Van, so much, to the extent that he throws away his revolver to answer the phone (though he seems to come back for it offscreen later). Justifed when he puts his shotgun down in the house, as he seems to be out of bullets, and it would only weigh him down.