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Jay Thomas Blackwell
- Author Avatar: Started as this, but gradually developed his own identity.
- The Chessmaster: Styles himself as one... even though his plans focus around the employees of a department store.
- Despair Event Horizon: In his backstory, he apparently went through one after being dumped by his (now ex-) girlfriend.
- Deadpan Snarker: Has a sharp wit.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: Although he's quick to talk up his social skills (particularly his manipulative tendencies), anything related to his artistic skills is quickly dismissed. Others frequently disagree; his ex even strongly suggests that he could be making a living on his writing and/or art if he pursued it.
- Man Behind the Man: Has deliberately taken this role to every manager, in part to protect the other employees from the manager's incompetence, and in part because he's too lazy to take on the responsibility himself.
- The Smart Guy: Smarter than his position or demeanor would suggest.
- Stealth Mentor: In addition to his Man Behind the Man shtick, he's also acting as one of these towards Mike in terms of making him a more competent manager. He also acts as this towards much of the rest of the store.
- Working with the Ex: His ex-girlfriend comes to MEGAtaiment to advertise her new book. Thomas spends the day in a barely-concealed rage.
- Your Cheating Heart: As unhappy as he was about his ex-girlfriend, it was nothing compared to when he met her new husband. And saw she was pregnant.
- Something of a subversion- she didn't cheat on him, she just moved on to another relationship. He didn't until he got together with Carol.
Carolina Abigail Graves
- Big Beautiful Woman: She was getting free drinks in college, when she stated she was "well on [her] way to being two people", and described her current and usual build as "one point five".
- Boyish Short Hair: It used to be much longer, but Nina cut it to it's more familiar length while the two were rooming together, around the time Carol first joined the MEGATainment staff.
- Breakout Character: She's very popular with the fandom.
- Deadpan Snarker: Nearly every word that comes out of her mouth has some level of snarkiness.
- Even the Girls Want Her: She's the one that Brooksie is the deepest in love with.
- Fiery Redhead: Is feared around the store due to her temper.
- Mama Bear: She chides the other employees, and can even get mad at them, but don't you dare abuse her coworkers/underlings on her watch.
- Significant Green-Eyed Redhead
- The Slacker: She often gets her co-workers to do her job for her.
- World's Most Beautiful Woman: Everyone seems to be either in love with or gay for her.
- Deadpan Snarker: Not a surprise amongst the cast, though he can keep up with Thomas in this regard.
- Half-Identical Twins: With his sister, Jessie.
- Hot-Blooded: Has a (forgive the term) short temper, and prior to being picked up by Thomas had trouble keeping a job due to starting fights. He almost gets fired after meeting Reggie, and part of his Character Development involves learning to mellow out.
- Informed Attribute: Apparently he looks a lot like Harry Potter. Nina thinks this is hot.
- The Napoleon: The first thing most people notice about Ed is his height; the second thing most people notice is his sensitivity about his height.
- New Meat: Starts as this, but quickly grows out of it.
- No Sense of Humor: It takes him a while to warm up to the ribbing of his coworkers. Eventually graduates to Deadpan Snarker status.
- Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: His dynamic with Nina, especially once they start dating.
- Author Appeal: Like all the other main female characters.
- Dark and Troubled Past: In high school, she was in some kind of accident where she lost several friends, and was herself gravely injured. One reason she likes Thomas so much is because he helped her through that awful time.
- One of Us: Besides being a literature buff, she specifically latched onto Ed because he reminded her of Harry Potter. She even said she'd like to ride his broomstick.
- Shipper on Deck: Was very vocal about her desires for Thomas and Carol to get together, and positively burst with happiness when she learned they'd been dating for a while.
- Sliding Scale of Beauty: She has buck teeth and oddly tall and thin, giving her a chipmunk-like appearance. However, her coworkers still think she's pretty hot.
- Statuesque Stunner: Both Ed and Thomas think she's quite attractive, and she's tall enough that normal shirts don't come down past her belly button.
- Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Her dynamic with Ed, especially once they start dating.
- Casanova Wannabe: Has not been shown to have much success with the ladies - that said...
- Chick Magnet: He is considered quite attractive, with several members of the Order of the Pelt swooning over him, with Alex taking a special interest.
- Deadpan Snarker: A trait he shares with several of his coworkers.
- Must Have Nicotine: One of two characters who smoke. Unlike in most modern works, he's not derided for his smoking habit, though he and Brooksie both realize how bad of a habit it is, and are making plans to quit.
- Odd Friendship: Eventually starts forming something of one with Reggie.
- Really Gets Around: According to himself, anyway.
- The Slacker: By his own admission, he doesn't put too much effort into pretty much anything he does. In particular, Thomas gets on him about that during their ghost hunt.
- Unrequited Love Switcheroo: Alex originally had a crush on him - something he gladly used to gain her assistance on his ghost hunting trip with Jo and Thomas - but after Reggie asks her out, he seems to be starting to feel a little something towards her.
Jolene "Brooksie" Brooks
- Author Appeal: Like the other main females.
- Bi the Way: Her "love chart" indicates that she has some level of attraction to pretty much everyone in the store save Reggie and Mike. Eventually, she ends up in a relationship with Jessie.
- Covert Pervert: Her shy and bubbly nature belies a fairly healthy interest in sex, the juxtaposition of which even weirds out John and Thomas at one point.
- The Cutie: Practically everyone at the store finds her to be an adorable little pixie of a woman.
- Hand-Hiding Sleeves: Her favorite work shirt is far too big for her, but she likes it anyway.
- Must Have Nicotine: She and John have bonded over their shared need for a tobacco fix, though both have some desire to quit.
- Security Blanket: She borrows Nina's work shirts, and swaps them with Nina to make sure she has something that smells strongly of her.
- Shrinking Violet: She hates getting unwanted attention.
- The Sneaky Guy: ...And she's gotten very good at avoiding it.
- Shy Blue-Haired Girl: Hates attention, but quickly warms up to people who are nice to her.
- Speaks in Shout-Outs: When she can be convinced to speak, she mostly speaks in obscure movie quotes.
Miguel "Mike" Hernandez
- Benevolent Boss: Mike is a genuinely nice guy; sometimes too nice.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Both comedic and serious examples. On the comedic side, it turned out that he was really good at Nerf battles. On the serious side, his anger is capable of shutting up Reggie.
- Big Fun: A big ol' Teddy Bear of a man who makes up for in friendliness what he can lack sometimes in confidence.
- Boisterous Bruiser: During the store's Nerf-Gun "Teambuilding" exercise, he forgoes an actual gun in favor of a large toy Axe and throwing his ammo like LARP magic. He makes it surprisingly far.
- Nice to the Waiter: The reason the other employees have hope for him is that he actually tries to treat them with respect.
- One of Us: Again, forewent firearms during the store's Teambuilding to instead treat it like his old Fantasy LARPs.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: Defied. Everyone expected him to be this, like his predecessors, and he does have occasional slip-ups due to a lack of practical experience. However, he actively works to get better; see Benevolent Boss above.
Reginald "Reggie" Watson Booth
- Everyone Has Standards: If there's one area in which he earns praise from his co-workers, it's that while he's a jerk, he's at least an honest jerk, and can be depended on to fill any position in a pinch, even if he won't necessarily fill it well.
- Geeky Turn-On: John labels him as having a fetish for competent, intelligent women. This eventually leads him to ask out Alex.
- Idle Rich: Working at the store seems to be his attempt at averting this trope. Whether or not he's been successful is up to debate.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's abrasive, but dependable and can be genuinely kind when he wants to be. His heart of gold starts showing up more around the time he and John start sitting in on the Library's Furry Club, and much of his character development is learning and re-learning how to connect with other people.John: I used to think he was just a dick. Now I think he just holds people to a standard so high he's always dissapointed with them.
- Lonely Rich Kid: It says a lot about his upbringing that Jo's "betrayal" from not sticking up for him hurt him so deeply.
- Never My Fault: Reggie has a great deal of difficulty taking responsibility for his own actions, although on at least one occasion, it really wasn't his fault.
- Odd Friendship: Uptight and rigid Reggie starts forming a friendship with laid back snarker John, and he outright states he considers Thomas as his friend during the store's teambuilding Nerf-Gun war.
- The Resenter: He's quite bitter towards the other employees. Justifiably so, in fact.
- Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense: Really, Reggie, what did you expect when you used a cigarette lighter to examine the inside of a cardboard display?
- Spoiled Brat: Unlike all the other employees at MEGAtainment, he doesn't actually need to work there, and he lets people know it.
- It doesn't help that one of MEGAtainment's top executives is his aunt.
Jessie Harlan Lincoln
- Bi the Way: Hits on pretty much everyone. Eventually starts dating Jo.
- Half-Identical Twins: With her brother, Ed.
- Shameless Fanservice Girl: Unfortunately for Ed, his sister likes to dance around their house without a shirt on when she thinks no one else is around.
Alexandria "Alex" Melvil
- Big Beautiful Woman: Of an even heavier build than Carol, but still considered attractive enough for Reggie to ask her out, even if most of his reason for doing so is her intelligence.
- Punny Name: She works at a library.
- The Smart Girl: Eventually gets brought on as a research consultant for Thomas and John's paranormal investigations team.