- Early on, after Thomas insults a customer, Carol yells at him about his misconduct, showing him the comment card the customer had filled out, and he proceeds not to care.
- "On a scale from zero to fucked, how much trouble am I in, do you think?"
- Nina reminiscing with Thomas about their senior year at high school, after the accident, saying, "I think yours were the first kind words anyone said to me."
Nina: Do you remember the first thing you ever said to me?
Thomas [nervously]: Not exactly...
Nina: "It sucks about your friends dying. Don't let those dicks get to you."
- John demonstrates the Rhetorical Question Blunder.
- Ed tries to stop Jess from taking over Jo's movie by becoming a 'producer'. She insists that a producer is a real thing.
Ed: Okay, fine, so what is it that a producer does then?
Jess: Um, well, it's hard to explain...
Ed: Uh huh... I am being swept away on a veritable tsunami of confidence. Oh no! Help me!
- Jo lays down some truth for Ed.
Jo: Ed, love is the biggest deal!
Ed: Is it?
Jo: Yeah, doi! It's love, vengeance, aliens, time travel, then dogs. That's the hierarchy of biggest deals!