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Can't Fight The Moonlight Legend
Psyga 315

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The Child Of Mercury! The Water's Poisened!
Finally, this is it. The last post for the Sailor Moon RPG liveblog. We made it so far these past few posts. I still remember cracking jokes about Molly’s Boyfriend and Killer Tidal Waves. So, what is the last epic adventure I am to take on? The Children of Mercury. Wait, what? The Children of Mercury? Sounds like a badly done fanfic... OH SHI-

A descendant of a character (WARNING: INCOMING SUE)

Hello! I just happen to be Serena’s long lost sister from America! And I have her powers!

It all makes sense! This is the True Final Boss: I have to play as the descendant of Sailor Mercury! Oh, and it takes place in Crystal Tokyo. As if playing as Mary Sue-bait was not enough, I have to play that character in a Marysuetopia. This Is Gonna Suck. So after Negamoon is defeated, Crystal Tokyo is restored. So, what is life on Crystal Tokyo. It seems to be pretty much like the 20th century, except with Crystal Spires and Togas. Huh, you would think something would happen between the 20th and 30th centuries. We get our first hint that this will feel like a case of Sequelitis is that there will be a lack of main characters from the original Sailor Moon. Yes, that includes Serena herself, now Neo-Queen Serenity. In fact, the only main character featured is Mercury herself, and she will not play any big roles.

So who are the main characters, you may ask? Well, The Children Of Mercury, duh. So, how many children? About 3-8. What? If that is not enough, Amy had these kids in the span of 7 years! I would say that there would be no way that Amy’s husband, Greg, would live 1,000 years, but according to my research, he could. See, Greg is a Youma reincarnated much like the Scouts. Cool? That still does not explain how in the hell both him and Amy would retain their youth. My theory is that they were frozen when that big freeze hit. Oh? Did I not tell you that before Crystal Tokyo was formed, the earth became an ice cube? Well, now you know. So, I am supposed to create my own character. And I will retcon that Amy only had one kid, because I hardly think she can raise eight children and work as a guardian at the same time. It would be funny though. “Sorry, honey, I am fighting this gigantic monster, you are going to have to cook dinner yourself.” So let us get started.

It was during this that I realized that I had the calculating for the Knight attacks wrong. Darien’s level three knight attack was supposed to be 19, without the subtraction. Meaning that it would be a minus one. I would correct this, but that would result in screwing up the story. My character is basic, emphasizing the Knight attacks over other things. I will find out what I think of the playing style when I test him out, but on with the story.

So after Queen Beryl’s defeat, the Negaverse had broken apart, with lots of monsters fighting for control. When the Wiseman, leader of the Negamoon Family, was defeated, a massive surge of energy broke Jedite out of his eternal sleep put onto him by Queen Beryl herself. For those who don’t know, Jedite was the first villain the Scouts encountered. Now, considering how strong the Scouts are now compared to the first few episodes, Jedite would get his ass handed to. But nope. Instead, he builds up his army of monsters and a shard of Beryl’s crystal ball. Soon he gained enough energy to open a portal between Earth and the Negaverse once more.

Meanwhile, Serenity is not satisfied with just Earth and decides to take over the universe wants to extend her reach to the stars above. Jessie. James. So she has Sailor Pluto, guardian of Time, to build her a teleporter machine that will do just that, and she will assign planets for the offspring of the Original Scouts. But Serenity isn’t the only one who wants to play Multiversal Conqueror, as Jedite joins in. With this he begins to infect everyone with Hinamizawa Syndrome a Hate Plague, by tainting the water supply. With everyone ripping each other’s throats out (including themselves), Jedite will then enter the Time Chamber and victory will be his.

However, we all know his plan will fail. Big time. This is the same guy who was frozen because he failed so many times. He failed so hard, his character was derailed into a He-Man Woman Hater on his last episode. Make a note for myself: I must laugh at him hard when he fails. Hell, I won’t even bother upgrading Jedite. It’s worth noting however that a couple of fanfics featuring this plot are available online. All one needs to do is apply Google Search and blam. The story begins. WE GOT FANFIC SIGN!

1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6...

~

The sun shined onto Aaron's face, forcing him to wake up. He gets out of bed and proceeds to the shower. (Okay, we get it, he is preparing for the day, skip it!) When he was done, he put on his school uniform and headed downstairs, seeing that his mother, Amy, had made him bacon. (What is it with bacon?) "Morning, mom." Aaron said to his mom. "Oh, hello, Aaron." Amy said, sounding depressed. "What's wrong, mom?" Aaron asked as he sat down and ate his bacon. "It's your dad. He's been acting more and more aggressive these past few days." Amy said, washing some dishes. "Are you thinking of a divor..." Aaron said in a worried tone, but before he could finish, Amy snapped. "No! Do not even joke! I won't do that to Greg!" Amy said, drops of tears falling off her eyes. There was a moment of silence between the two. (Can someone say awkward?) "Sorry about that. Oh, that's right, you have to meet Trista (Setsuna/Pluto's English name) in the afternoon. So you are excused from your afternoon classes and can leave after lunch." Amy said. "Explain to me why I have to visit her?" Aaron asked. "Well, there will come a time where you will become a prince and rule a planet of your choice." Amy said. "Oh, right. Say, mom, what if I don't want to be a prince, what if I Just Want to Be Normal?" Aaron said. "That will be up to you. The least you can do though is to try it. You might like it." Amy said. "I guess. Well, bye." Aaron said, kissing his mom on the cheek before heading off. (GOAL #1: Meet Celia and choose a planet.)

When Aaron got into class, the students were bickering among themselves. Aaron awkwardly sat in his seat as the arguing students got louder and louder. Soon the teacher came into the class with a huge pile of books. The teacher slammed the books down as hard as he could. “SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!” The teacher said. “NO! YOU SHUT UP!” One of the students said. “OKAY! THAT’S IT!” The teacher said as he took out a ruler, walked over and proceeded to beat him with it. Soon, other students began to dog pile on the teacher and claw at him. (This is supposed to be a peaceful place?) Aaron tried to remain silent for the remainder of the class. After seventy-five minutes of hearing the screams of pain, Aaron heard the lunch bell ring while everyone was focused on the teacher. Aaron packed up his things and left as fast as he could before anyone noticed. (Time for a spot check, the target is six)

[RANDOM ROLL: 2 = MAJOR SUCCESS!]

Without making a noise, Aaron managed to walk past the class rooms and towards the cafeteria. There he saw the tables flipped over, food splattered all over the place, and people engaging in an epic food fight, nearly all of them dirty. Soon, Aaron saw a little girl caught in the crossfire. Her hair was brown like the dirt and her eyes were as blue as the sea. The seven-year-old girl was quite scared of the fighting and was about to cry. Aaron knew her; she was Michelle and Amara’s kid, Puroko.

~

(Record Needle Scratch)

Who the hell is Puroko? Beats me! Hell, when I did a Google search on her, I found other people were confused about Puroko as well. To the point where they drew fan art and gave a back-story for her! The least the book could have done is make an impromptu character sheet for Puroko and explain who the hell she is, but no! YOU CAN’T BE MAKING UP CHARACTERS WITHOUT HAVING TO EXPLAIN WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT THEIR PERSONALITY IS! AND NO! SAYING SHE IS THE DAUGHTER OF NEPTUNE AND URANUS WILL NOT COVER THINGS! Sadly, I am going to have to make her character up. Alright. Back into action.

~

He was ten when he was first introduced to baby Puroko and for the next seven years, Puroko viewed him as a big brother. And it was time to follow his Big Brother Instinct. (Is he gonna shove some people in some TVs? Is he gonna tell someone to NEVER SPEAK AGAIN? Is he gonna set up a thirteen-man Highlander-esqe fight to the death? Nope! It’s time to do a roll check! This time it’s a body check.)

[BODY CHECK: 4 = MARGINAL SUCCESS!]

Aaron ran to Puroko and grabbed her tightly, covering her from the food being flung as they crashed to the floor. “Aaron! You came to save me, puro~!” (Oh dear God, you have got to be kidding me! Urg...) “That’s what I do.” Aaron said. Soon, Puroko began to cry. “I am glad you saved me, puro~! Everyone is mean to me today, puro~! They are mean like that lady my mommies left me to, puro~!” Puroko said in anguish. “Huh? Lita isn’t mean.” Aaron said. “Yes she is! She began to hit me real hard, puro~!” Puroko said. “Hold on, let me check.” Aaron said, pulling up his sleeve and revealing a wristwatch. He activates it and soon Amy came on the line. “Hello? What is it that you want?” Amy asked. “Everyone is fighting eachother and Puroko said that Lita had hurt her and...” Aaron tried to say the rest but he was interrupted. “I can’t talk right now! I gotta break up a fight!” Amy said. “Wait, what?” Aaron asked, as if to give him an answer, a bit of the fight was heard. “CALL ME A MEATBALL HEAD, WILL YOU? I’ll SHOW YOU WHAT A MEATBALL HEAD WILL DO TO YOUR FACE!” Screamed a voice. Aaron recognized the voice as Neo-Queen Serenity. (Our queen, ladies and gentlemen!) “Mom! What is going on?” Aaron asked but Amy hung up on Aaron. “What are we gonna do, puro~?” Puroko asked. “Let’s get you out of here. Mom asked me to visit someone, so I hope she doesn’t mind if I take you.” Aaron said. “Yay! I wanted to be with you, Aaron-kun, puro~!” Puroko said as he hugged Aaron. “Let’s get going, before someone spots us.” Aaron said as he got up, holding Puroko by the hand.

[SPOT CHECK: 9 = FAILURE]

However, someone spots him. It was a big muscular man. “HEY YOU! GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MONEY BEFORE I SMACK YOU!” The man said, pounding his fists together. (I wish to make a Body + Mind (Target 7) check here, because since Aaron is smart, he is gonna aim for the happy place. Or at least the kidneys.)

[BODY CHECK: 5 = MINOR SUCCESS]

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Puroko, don’t watch.” Aaron said as he kicked the man in the groin. The man kneeled over, cupping his groin in pain. “Come on, let’s hurry!” Aaron said as he tugged on Puroko’s arm as they fled the area. (GOAL #2: Find out what is causing the sickness and try to stop it! On second thought, I have a more climatic fight planned, so this goal is gonna be taken care of by some NP Cs)

Meanwhile, at the Chamber of Space and Time, Sailor Pluto was getting beaten up by an old foe. “Women, you are all the same: Weak and incompetent. You’re no different than the twerps I had to take on ten centuries ago!” (Yes, I am so going for his derailed character) The foe said. He was about to land a final blow to Pluto but then he heard something. “Stop!” The foe turned around and saw Aaron. “You look familiar. Step aside before I include you to my list of causalities.” He said. “Just who the hell to you think you are?” Aaron said, noticing Puroko tugging on his leg and whimpering. “I am Jedite! The greatest general the world has ever faced!” (Hahahahaha! All ready he is making me laugh. This is coming from the only guy in the Shitennou who died because he failed his master one too many times, Malachite was killed in battle, Nephrite took the bullet, and Zoycite gets killed for laying his/her fingers on Darien) “What are you doing here?” Aaron asked. “I am here for one thing. This chamber. Once I take over it, I will rule the entire universe!” (Okay, okay.)

BISON: Of Course!

“And no one shall stand in my way, thanks to my Hate Plague!” Jedite said. “Hate Plague? You mean the whole entire reason why people are fighting is because of you?” Aaron asked. “Yeah. All to distract them from the true goal.” Jedite said. (Do note that the confrontation with Jedite is at the water purification plant and that I am supposed to fight one of his Youma. However, I felt like it would make sense for him to be at the time space chamber since he thinks that no one is going to stop him) “Well, I won’t let you do that!” Aaron said. “Ah, such fitting last words for a foolish teenager.” Jadeite said, holding a ball of dark energy to fire at Aaron. (I am gonna roll a ton of dice for this scene. One for Jedite’s attack, another for Aaron’s defence, and one for Puroko’s Heroic Sacrifice.)

[COMBAT ROLL: ATTACK 8 = MISS]

Jedite fires a blast, only to miss Aaron. (To quote Eddie Murphy: “HOW COULD YOU MISS? HE WAS STANDING THREE FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!” This is just adding to the fail that is Jedite. Screw it, I am calling the following right now: He is gonna be a Butt Monkey subject to The Worf Effect) However, the ball then exploded, knocking Aaron and Puroko down. (Knockback damage (which is half of 30) has Aaron at 70 while Puroko is at... well, since she has no health, let’s just say dying) Aaron was the first to get up. He saw Puroko’s smoldering back. “Puroko! Speak to me!” Aaron said shaking Puroko. It was no use. “Now... for you.” Jedite said, holding another fireball to fling at Aaron, this time closing in to fire at point blank range. (I am gonna roll a body roll so I can break Jedite’s rib)

[BODY CHECK: 12 = CRITICAL FAILURE]

Jedite grabbed Aaron’s arm which was about to hit him in the ribs and fires the ball at him, scorching him. Jedite lets go of Aaron’s hand and now proceeds to the injured Pluto. “You’re next.” He said, wielding yet one more fireball. (His energy points are at 30 if you want to ask. Aaron’s heath is now at 40. It’s time to pull a Naruto) “That’s enough!” Aaron’s voice called out. Jedite turned around and saw him keeling over in pain, but still standing. “Your games have now become serious!” (Uh, I think they were serious what with his “I wanna take over the world” thing. Stop thinking you are in Yugioh.) People are either hurt or dead because of your ambition! Including Puroko! Your presence here is destroying my city! For that, you will never escape my sight! I WILL PROTECT THIS CITY FROM SCUM LIKE YOU!” (Oh wow, you ripped off part of the Green Lantern oath. Now rip off the second half!) Suddenly, Aaron began to glow, with white feathers floating around him. Soon, they enveloped around him. When the feathers fade, Aaron was in a suit of white armor, with his breastplate having an engraving of bird wings on them. (Lol, wut?) Aaron looked at his hands, noticing the change. “What happened?” Aaron asked. “Whenever a Knight declares what he protects for the first time, he is granted armor and powers to fight.” (Bull. Automatic Bull. First off, why didn’t he gain the armor when he protected Puroko? Did he not declare aloud that he was protecting her? And second, how do Knights transform? I suppose I could just watch a clip of Sailor Moon and see for myself. But bah, Adaptation Decay, Ho!) Pluto answered. “A knight? Very well, he shall fall like one then.” Jedite said as he rushed towards him, about to throw a punch.

[COMBAT ROLL: ATTACK: 8 = MISS]

Jedite’s punch barely missed Aaron’s as he landed another punch right back. (Jedite is now at 48). “I don’t know how to work these powers, but here I go anyways!” Aaron said as he began to glow green. Soon, Pluto glowed green as well. Pluto began to stagger back up. “I see, so Will is your element of influence.” Pluto said. (No, that would be Green Lantern. Again. So yeah, Aaron can perform the Big Damn Heroes trick as well. At level one.) Just then, Pluto ran to the nearest computer and began to press buttons. “Calling for help? Typical!” Jedite said, about to fire another fireball at Pluto. Just then he noticed feathers hovering around Aaron, with their ends pointing at him. “LEAVE HER ALONE!” Aaron said firing the feathers at Jedite.

[ATTACK ROLL: 7 = SUCCESS (for Aaron), 8 = MISS (For Jedite) DEFENCE ROLL: 9 = Miss] (The reason why I had two attack rolls is that one is for Jedite and the other is for Aaron)

Jedite’s fireball faded as he was hit by a load of feathers, each of them being impaled to him. (Jedite’s health is at 38, while his energy is at 20. Aaron’s energy is at 90) Pluto had finished typing on the computer and then runs to Aaron while Jedite gets up from the hit. “Aaron, we only one shot at this.” Pluto said. “One shot at what?” Aaron asked. Pluto whispered into Aaron’s ear. “Oh! Okay, I can do that.” Aaron said. “Alright then. TIME STOP!” Pluto said, holding Aaron’s hand. Jedite turned around as he sat the two had disappeared. “Come out, where ever you are...” Jedite said. He then heard something and turned around. He saw Aaron standing with a whole mass of feathers, four times as many as the original. “Now... Your punishment! WINGS OF THE ANGELS!” Aaron said as the feathers flew towards Jedite.

[ATTACK ROLL: 9,7,7,7 (Okay for three) DEFENCE ROLL: 10, 3, 10 (Okay for one)]

Jedite managed to dodge two swarms of feathers, but the other two distracted him, hitting him. (Now he is at 28, and Aaron's energy is at 10. I think I damaged him more than that, because I forgot to add the seven to the Knight attacks. If I do, it's overkill. So I will have Jedite retreat.). Jedite smirks. That smirk becomes a smile. "What's so funny?" Aaron asked. "For the first time... I won't have to fear retreating! We'll meet again, Spiderman Knight!" Jedite said as he teleports away. (I had to do that.) Aaron glows as he returns to civilian clothing. "It's over." Aaron said. "For now, he will be back." Pluto said, getting up. "Don't worry about the water. I sent two people to take care of the problem." Pluto said. "What about Puroko?" Aaron said. "She's in critical condition, but she'll make it." Pluto said. Aaron looked at Puroko's peaceful look on her face. "I think your mother would be proud of you." Pluto said. Soon, static came from the computer. "Pluto, this is Neptune, we have found and dispatched the crystal. The people should be themselves in about a day. How's Puroko?" A voice was heard. "She's..." Aaron began to speak but was interrupted by Pluto. "She's doing good. She was injured, but she'll live." Pluto said. She then turned the radio off. "Now then, let's get started on that Knight training. Have you decided which planet to rule over?" Pluto said to Aaron. "Well... I choose... to just defend... I want to defend Puroko." Aaron looks at Puroko again. "I understand. Come with me. Luna has a weapon made for you." Pluto said. Aaron began to follow her. "Have you thought of a name for your Knight persona?" Pluto asked. "Yeah... The Winged Warrior." Aaron said.

~

KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!

Well, that was just Generic Mary Sue stuff. Sure, I could have made it more epic, but this is a Liveblog, not a Fanfic. So I have to draw the line somewhere. There is a lot of Snark Bait with this scenario alone. Also, when the Big Bad for the kids to take on is the very first villain their parents took on when they were young, there are some problems. Jedite returning is a common fanfic idea, but to be used as your ultimate Big Bad seems like a joke. Unless you go for that The Man Behind the Man thing and have the true big bad be a villain that was difficult for the Scouts to take on. Sadly there were no MOTW. There was gonna be one to hunt down Pluto, but I gave that job to Jedite, simply do to pacing and epicness. Aaron is Darien without the Negaverse flaw but with weaker powers. Even so, I just won the fight with a punch and three swarms of feathers. FEATHERS! This one-shot is good to make your own Mary Sue fics and make fun of them. I still recommend Where's Rini than this.

And we are done. I'd like to thank Iron Liz, TV Tropes, Linkara, Guardians Of Order, Naoko Takeuchi, DIC, and everyone else that has to do with this. Welp, it was a good trip. See you all later!

Oh, by the way, the best photo on this is on page 179. Rini pointing a gun at Serena's face. Damn. That is the most epic picture I have ever seen.
5th Feb '13 10:06:10 AM flag for mods
comments
I love Jadeite, but yeah, Big Bad material he's not.
ManwiththePlan 19th Oct 11
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