Your group's jokes.

Our group hasn't been around long, so we don't have too many, since all the other players came from different groups that broke up once everyone went off to college, and Tyler and I are new, but we have a few.

"Never let Brendan's character go off alone. Ever." (Our group's Chaotic Neutral/Chaotic Stupid).

Anyone who can do a Horatio Caine style Quip to Blacks get bonus dice on their choice of roll.

After we killed the Nemean class gator from Scion, we dragged the body to an abandoned warehouse (The setting is Louisiana, in the New Orleans area) and that's now our magical food source, because after a month of in game time, we still haven't run out.

The running joke that ties in with that one is that in looking for material to cook said Gator with, my character went looking for a shovel to dig a BBQ pit and upon finding a storage closet, my character tried to open it. About 10 bad strength rolls later, except for the one where I Kicked the door in frustration and my foot went through the door (I'm the tank/Lightning Bruiser for the party), a simple Larceny roll opens the door and guess what it's full of. Shovels. A closet full of shovels. So now my character is set to be the God of shovels. (I also carry around two in the car to duel wield as backup weapons).

Also the mechanical sprites Brendan's character has for followers have the personality of the things from the Don Hertzfeldt's Rejected "MY anus is Bleeding" segment.

There's also the noodle incident involving the hyperactive daughter of Hermes (an NPC) and caffeine.

From Cthulu Tech there's:

"Dammit Wash, stop cutting off people' fingers." (I guess you'd call Wash our equivalent of a Necromancer/Sorcerer for that game).

And then there was the Bar fight, where upon being attacked in a bar by a local gang, we did a combination of a fastball special throwing me up at one to to cut the chain for one chandelier and Brett's character shooting the other one down, which crushed the gang members. This is now our set standard for how awesome something is. Everything is measured to that event.

edited 12th Dec '10 8:10:27 PM by Thenamelesssamurai

Imagine Rakan applying Calling Your Attacks to doing paperwork.~Anarchy Rakan for the hell of it COMMISSION THIS BRIDGE!~EHK

So now, to qualify as awesome, things must pass the bar?

"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis

Yes. Yes it must.

That pun made me smile though.

Imagine Rakan applying Calling Your Attacks to doing paperwork.~Anarchy Rakan for the hell of it COMMISSION THIS BRIDGE!~EHK

My SO is the GM of his group, in which I occasionally participate. They started out playing D&D but in recent years the GM has come to prefer Savage Worlds. The group has developed several running jokes, both in-game and out.

Jokes from the D&D days keep cropping up, including references to the ill-fated "bard campaign," where (you guessed it) every last PC was some permutation of bard. It did not end well. There were, from what I gather, a great many noodle incidents.

One notable joke from the D&D days: The group was given a side quest in which they had to take down some monster or other to get a promising-looking 100-pound sack of what they were sure was treasure. It turned out to be a sack of 100 1-pound dead chinchillas, each and every one of which had Peaceful Repose cast on it. The group was very confused and frustrated, until they learned that they could sell the chinchillas to a fur trader for 20 gold each. So, "Is this going to be like the chinchillas?" or "Is this going to be like the chinchillas but without the gold?" are recurring questions.

How long will it take Byron's character to get himself and/or someone else killed in this campaign? (The record so far is: before the end of the first session. It was a particularly nasty Weird War II game.)

The guy who hosts the game has a spritzer-bottle full of water on hand to discipline his cats. The group has taken to using it on anyone who spends too much time having out-of-game conversations. The GM has been known to shout "GET THE SPRAY!" when conversations start getting seriously out of hand.

We are each allowed one Oglaf reference per game. Any more than that and it's spritzer-bottle time.

"BEAR DROP." In a recently developed urban fantasy setting, one guy was playing a were-bear. About halfway through the campaign, he acquired Leap. We all kept saying he should just get a good running start, pull Leap and land on top of whatever it was that needed attacking. "Bear drop, man. Seriously, BEAR DROP. DO IT." In the second-to-last session he actually did it. To a car. It was epic.

"Chubbykins Ex Machina": In that same urban fantasy setting, another guy's character acquired a lava golem and named it Mr. Chubbykins. It habitually took the form of a cockatoo but could shrink to finch-size or expand to condor-size. Mr. Chubbykins saved the day. Constantly. We still refer to "Chubbykins Ex Machina" for when a character uses his/her unexpectedly useful newly-acquired [thing] for the win.

edited 13th Dec '10 3:34:54 PM by countrymatters

"Godspeed, you fancy bastard."

A small one: when a monster critically fails,we always say it's shit itself... and describe how. The druid's spirit bear craps out a little pile of packing peanuts; skeletons crap bones; undead squirt out bits of their insides and so on. Puerile, but you have to be there.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Whenever a zombie in our D&D4e game gets bloodied, we say that his spleen fell out.

Well, I often say that the opponent "shit himself" when he flunks a roll, but that one's an improvement. :D

"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis

I am somehow the Butt-Monkey of my group. In each and every game,someone will become my nemesis and try to kill me for various reasons,becoming sworn ennemies at the slightest offense. Which is all good hearted,of course. There are the recurring creepy old perverts and their stock-phrases in-jokes: Mmhhhh, you are young and vigorous, I am Miteras, the merchant of Poutine.(which is a French-Canadian fast-food dish,btw). And then there is the Owl-garou incident, which keep getting refered to in EVERY other game.

Did I mention I am referred to as a bad-luck absorbing vortex?

Yeah, our group is like that.

edited 15th Dec '10 2:23:14 PM by OrangeSpider

The Great Northern Threadkill.

"Baaah."

The sound of a goat. We weaponized an army of goats and rabbits in order to defeat a plant monster that regenerated 2-20 hp per round... at fourth level. As a paladin, I attempted to inspire the goats to courage during the night of fasting before the battle, and I rolled a natural 20 on my Perform (Oratory) check. Unfortunately, I hadn't prepared an actual speech for the army of goats, so I repurposed Indrick Boreale's infamous "SPESS MUHREENS" speech to suit the occasion.

In the same place I was that one time, all the time

Can I share an experience a friend of mine had?

Okay, so it was a group of completely new players. On the first turn, the Spoony Bard had opened up a treasure chest that somehow transported the entire party into another dimension. They end up in a forest, in front of a large locked temple. The mentally challenged Dumb Muscle Fighter decided to run around biting trees, and eventually got his teeth stuck. So the Wizard cast some sort of spell that made the tree grow, with the teeth still stuck in it. The result is Squick. Meanwhile, the Chaotic Stupid Druid is kicking the door repeatedly yelling, "CHEESECAKE!" at the top of his lungs. Finally, the door opens for some reason, and they walk around inside a bit. There weren't any enemies in sight. But then they went down a dark corridor, and found it was infested with zombies that all yelled "CHEESECAKE!", since that was apparently the word that opened up the temple door. (WTF?)

Would you kindly click my dragons?

@Suzy: Were the characters (or hell, the players) consuming mind-altering substances at the time??

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

When running a Fallout campaign with a group of friends, they ran across a minefield, discovering this by nearly blowing apart their vehicle. One of the P Cs got out, and proceeded to crawl in front of the vehicle, attempting to disarm the land mines with his whopping 60% Explosives skill. So, a number of them went off in his face, naturally. The ones that were successfully disarmed were used later as "explosive frisbees" and were asked for in every game we played after that. (Rifts, Aberrant, AFMBE ... )

The same player, in Aberrant, was facing a terrorist with an explosive device strapped to himself. He told the DM, "First I'm going to incinerate his head, then disarm the explosive." Four of us (in unintentional unison, no less!) promptly responded, "With his face."

Same Aberrant campaign, two other players were sitting in an armored vehicle were called over a radio; the NPC, after listening to them bicker for two minutes, told them to "figure out which one of you two morons is the dumbest, and then let me talk to the other one." The two players looked at each other, and then Rock-Paper-Scissored, and the loser picked up the radio to respond. From then on, every time we needed to do any kind of straight Intelligence roll, we RPS'd against one of those two guys.

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

@drunk - No, from what I understand they're... always like that.

Would you kindly click my dragons?

Can't even remember how it got started, but once in a while as our party enters a crowded room, regardless of the system being used or what manner of beings croud the room, one PC will spout out: "We're here for the merch!"

One more I forgot.

In Cthulu Tech, since our tech wizard came up with throwing knives w/ grenades attached to them, we have since dubbed them "Stabbity-booms".

Imagine Rakan applying Calling Your Attacks to doing paperwork.~Anarchy Rakan for the hell of it COMMISSION THIS BRIDGE!~EHK

"You don't know who you're messing with!" — Always spoken before something goes horribly wrong. Or sometimes after things go horribly wrong.

One of the players in the club, when asked to describe something numerically, will always respond "'Bout t'ree-fiddy". I never figured out the context for that.

edited 15th Jan '11 2:24:42 AM by Ezekiel

The comics equivalent of PTSD.

DM: Your party is attacked by four wolves and a man-eating pycost.

Player: What's a pycost?

DM: 'Bout t'ree-fiddy.

---

We had a number of colourful characters. In an early adventure an old, one-eyed lady told the party about the local terror they had to defeat and if not it would be their "...doom. Doom! DOOM, I SAY!"

Of course, virtually every adventure has a scene where somebody tells the characters about the menace de jour and how all will be lost if it can't be stopped. . .at which point the lady would appear again to say her line. It got so that the DM (I started it, but we rotated every few adventures) didn't have to say anything; the players would cut in on cue: "The king, heavy with worried grief at the thought of what may befall his land if the party is not successful, settles into his throne. . . and from behind it the royal rat-catcher emerges, her quarry in hand and says. . . ". New players found that really disconcerting the first few times.

Then there was everyone's favourite Butt-Monkey of a villain, the Wile E. Coyote of evil clerics, Steadalous, Priest of the Serpent God, who in his first encounter with the characters survived a critical hit to the head only to be left speaking with a lisp:"Twemble befwar me, I am Sthdeadaluth, Prietht of the Therpent God!" At which point he was given Contractual Immortality despite getting his ass kicked every time.

edited 17th Jan '11 1:31:17 PM by 66Scorpio

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are probably right.

Greetings. GM for the game that Zealot up there is in. I shall expound upon the virtues of "We're here for the merch".

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away there was a little Paranoia game we were holding where the players had to investigate an underground Infrared Market where a prisoner was being sold. The two guards at the door would expect any prospective customers to say the phrase "We're here for the merch" if they wish to enter. Therefore, the P Cs reached the door...without having been told the code word to tell the guys at the door. After a repeat efforts to say things right, a player used his Deep Thought mutation and, using their knowledge of street lingo, determined what to say...just as a firefight broke out, as they so often do in Paranoia. Combat ensued and several P Cs lost their lives before one finally used his Blaster to utterly destroy everyone in a wide arc in front of the player. Two large guards were incinerated and the wall behind them exploded down the staircase on the other side. Several guards poured out, guns drawn on the curious group of troubleshooters up ahead.

And, out from the dust, one of our players leaned past the hole in the wall and yelled to the guards below, "We're here for the merch!"

We had a few in the DND group I used to play in.

Most famous was the running joke stemming from a time when we were breaking someone out of prison, and the DM took pains to point out that the only people we could find were clearly dead because they weren't moving and smelled of rotting flesh. However, one of our players interjected (the DM had made it clear that you could take over storytelling for a brief period if you had something funny or inconsequential you wanted an NPC to do) and had one of the corpses sit up and loudly exclaim "I'm not dead, I just don't wash!" before loudly berating the party for jumping to conclusions.

It them became a running joke that any given corpse may, in fact, simply be a regular guy with poor hygiene.

Most pervasively, however, was the joke that my gnome warlock (from another campaign) was multiclassed into Zookeeper, had a vampire-slaying sniper rifle, and could shout loud enough to deal damage without magical assistance. That last one actually became a plot point on several occasions.

"One thing, though- apparently the eldest goat is the bastard child of Muhammad Ali and the Hulk." ~ Exelixi, on The Three Billy Goats Gruff.

OK, my meta-joke got off in the Werewolf campaign and momentarily spawned an in-world joke. We had to deal with a vampire who would give us the location of the Bale Hound we were looking for, so this dialogue between my character and the pack's Cahalith who helps him write the comic:

Blue Oni (Cahalith): How does a "normal vampire" look?
Me: Do I have to DRAW YOU one?

edited 22nd Jan '11 5:13:33 AM by NotSoBadassLongcoat

"what the complete, unabridged, 4k ultra HD fuck with bonus features" - Mark Von Lewis

Our version of "Hindsight is 20/20"

"Hindsight crits twice"

That one is awesome. I will adopt.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

... Vorpal hindsight is broken.

DM for a Mage: the Awakening game. Since my players are all insane AND there's always a supply of sugar and alcohol where we play, jokes abound. Ahem.

• Due to the roleplay-heavy nature of the game, it's been dubbed Mage: Sitcom and Sorcery. Players (and myself, I admit) will randomly clap whenever a significant NPC opens the door or imitate a Laugh Track at inappropriate times.

• There's also the line "[My character with Striking Good Looks 4] goes take a shower.", to which the other players shout "FANSERVICE!" and I'll shout "The ratings are in! They're through the roof!".

• There's the suspicion that the mysterious masked Guardians of the Veil cabal are trolling the P Cs. Complete with Image Macro troll face masks.

• Due to the illustration given in the book, one of the NPC Mages is known as "Evil Zack Morris". Since he has Time magic, yes, he CAN do the TIME OUT!

• The Secret Concord, which secretly binds two of the most powerful cabals in Boston, is assumed to be a giant Atlantean mecha called "Glittering Boston Secret Concord", which the two cabals will one day pilot, sentai-style, against the Exarchs themselves.

• Agent Spyci of the Technocracy. Named after a misspelled Spicy Hot Wings menu, he's a Military Maverick who was reassigned to a secret base IN Lake Vostok for dropping communication satellites on "Reality Deviants". He still has the ability to do it, and I threaten the players with him whenever they get too out of line.

• Whenever anyone teleports to the house the P Cs live in, they always come out the coat closet in the living room.

• Whenever the female PC with Striking Good Looks 4 gets the social bonus for being pretty, I'll talk to the player while staring at his (yes, he's a guy who plays a girl) chest area. Intently.

• Squirrels all hold a fragment of the Exarchs in their little souls. Reading their mind will make you collapse into a gibbering heap as your brain is flooded with their evil plans for world conquest. This came to be after I got tired tired of the mind-reading PC trying to find clues to the latest mystery by READING A SQUIRREL'S MIND, and then complaining that they didn't act as perfect witnesses to the goings-on like if they were goddamn Zapruder on the grassy knoll.

• After the P Cs killed a group of Banishers who were murdering soulless homeless people left and right, they were aptly named "The Hobo Avengers!".

• Since the Astral Realm is home to everything mankind has ever dreamed of, including entire worlds for fictional lands, it's lovingly called "The Fanfiction Realm". The players are trying to mount expeditions to the worlds of Tron, He-Man and Sergio Leone Westerns.

WOOF!