Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, you have another song in your head now.

I wish the ethnic heroes from Super Friends returned to the main DC stories, with only the racist parts out.

Granted. The ethnic heroes are now the only superheroes DC ever made.

I wish Tiktok was removed off the app store.

Eh, it still got removed. Good enough.

Edited by Routeferret on May 10th 2019 at 4:41:49 PM

Granted. It's removed for barely half a day before it's added back due to mass outcry.

I wish for a functioning Ford Mustang and the knowledge to drive it.

Granted, you have no license to drive.

I wish I owned a gun.

Granted. The gun is sentient and shoots you.

I wish I had an idea for a good wish.

Granted. You phrase it so poorly nobody understands what you mean

I wish all the Spanish slugs in Norway died

Granted. They die because of a nuclear war which wipes out life altogether from Norway. And elsewhere.

I wish I could have three months of vacation.

Granted, you’re not paid during your vacation.

I wish I was an A.I android.

Granted, but... you're a sexbot. Whoops.

I wish that my life would stop changing for the worse.

Granted. You die! Your life can't change for the worse one you're dead!

I wish for an All Alone Bert.

Granted. He still has Ernie's bed in his room, making things even sadder.

I wish I was a patient in the asylum from Anthrax's "Madhouse" music video.

Granted. You're now a permanent patient in a literal asylum with Anthrax's music playing 24/7.

I wish I have the ability to turn any Trope into a Cat Girl.

Aww, what an adorable Lovecraftian kit-Oh God Oh Fuck!

Edited by KJsixteen on May 12th 2019 at 4:51:33 AM

Enjoy your Eldritch Abomination Cat Girl with More Teeth than the Osmond Family and Eyes Do Not Belong There!

I once again wish my life would stop changing for the worse but that I would remain alive to live it.

Granted. It stops going downhill for a minute before shit hits the fan again.

I wish for a functioning Ford Mustang, the knowledge to drive it, and a license to drive.

Granted. However, I steal it and sell all of the parts after you drive it for the first time.

I wish I could wear red leather and it wouldn't be sensory hell.

Granted. It's now literal hell, since the devil mistakes you for one of his own.

I wish the far right would accept scientific facts over religious fiction.

Granted. However, the science facts turn out to be false, and Christianity turns out to be 100% true. Also, the far-right are still jerks.

I wish that The Good The Bad And The Ugly was made into a musical with Paul McCartney as the lead.

Granted. Paul Mc Cartney is the only character in the musical, while everyone else died horribly before the story started.

I wish my Black-and-Grey Morality outlook on Real Life is proven wrong.

I'll take that, I guess. It really do be like that sometimes.

Edited by KJsixteen on May 11th 2019 at 10:15:25 AM

Granted, Reality is now Blue-and-Orange Morality.

I wish I had the most delicious cupcake to ever exist.

Granted. You are killed by rabid snack cake fanatics.

I wish I could remember that song I was working on earlier.

Granted, it becomes an incredibly annoying Ear Worm to you.

I wish for graffiti art.

Granted. People break into your house and cover all your belongings in spray paint.

I wish that I had a really cool sword

Granted, but if you try and use it, it will kill you instead of whoever your target is.

I wish I had a box of donuts

Granted. The box of donuts is poisoned.

I wish for a two dollar bill.

Granted. You can't find a seller who believes it's real

I wish for a zombie-proofed home