Hunger Games Simulation: Beyond the Possibilities

Get a kill, Wily, come on!

Everyone Hates Dawn: the 2828194636183946th installment.

Oh no! That bucket's BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC!^{Don't Explain The Joke} they're for troll reproduction

On the other hand, Pun Dad succeeded at where Pun Son failed!

Edited by TroperNo9001 on Jul 16th 2021 at 12:39:19 AM

NIGHT◊ FIVE◊

• Turns out piloting powered armour with hooves is nigh impossible, so Shinra, having seen what Huck subjected Robcina to earlier and convinced they're ace pilots, press-gangs them into having a go. They manage maybe three steps before they topple over and explode. Shinra is not impressed.
• Curses! An event where I can't come up with a witty "worst X ever" joke!
• Dawn has every right to be relieved. He's finally found a tribute willing to tolerate his presence (who isn't Huckleberry's heinous doppelganger).
• DIO uses every ounce of his incredible new power to... give Vetape a silly name? Okay?
• Kuma must die, it was said, and Kuma does indeed die. Can't push away someone crouching behind a fuckoff huge shield!
• Two out of three of these people being despicable and greedy is to be expected. The third... yeah, her time in the HGS has done a number on Seiko's moral fibre.
• And that's another ghost experienced a double death! This time, there's no apparent cause...
• :33 < hi, very fucking confused! i'm nepeta leijon!
• "Man, that's mean! I think someone needs to mallow out!"
• Shinra has been slacking on the whole "leading a cult" thing, so now it's the Cult of Wily! And he already looks far more comfortable in the role than Shinra did!
• You don't need the power to predict impending disaster to know this is a terrible idea.

DAY◊ SIX◊

• Shinra is kind enough to put Seiko out of her misery.
• The Cult of Wily is already having a massive recruitment drive! No takers yet, so far as I can tell, but you never know...
• It dawns on Nepeta that, with the end approaching, things will be getting much more intense around here. She is not ready fur this.
• Human meat? Not helping your case, Dawn. At least Pun Dad is, in fact, alive to word another play.
• "You want to know what I think of her? Worst! Mother! Ever!"
• The labour lottery assigns Sergiu a new job in the automobile industry. Work starts, ah, now. Glory to Arstotzka.

FALLEN◊ TRIBUTES◊: Robin and Lucina, Kuma, Captain Fishook, Julie, Seiko

Welp, that puts me out of commission. What did you expect, Shinra? Of course they didn't know anything about piloting a Powered Armor; they come from a medieval world!

Alright, if cults are more of your villainy type than killing people, then so be it!

Oof, Seiko got some karma right there. RIP.

And Dawn wtf

NIGHT◊ SIX◊

• PSA is short for Puns and Standing Astroturf.
• Fi wears bird slippers. Wrastor wears slippers that probably qualify as product placement for that new Clone Wars TV show.
• !! EMERGENCY MEETING !! When Nepeta discovers the "emergency" was Vetape wanting a snack, she takes it purr-sonally. And Vetape discovers that, for all her cutesiness, Nepeta has a pair of sharp metal claws and knows how to use them.
• Sergiu doesn't have a clue how to do his new job.
• DIO doesn't even see Comic Book Guy as worth dealing with in person. "Worst... Death... Ever..."
• Primal Kite Man - a hulking mass of muscle, drifting over the Arena on a tattered rag...
• Punishment for Huck's sins? Pure lolrandomness? It could be either. Or neither.
• Dr. Wily tries to flatter the notorious villain of Season 167 into joining his cult. Dawn turns down the offer - though he admits Wily's painting is surprisingly good. All that time spent drawing blueprints for robots paid off!
• The night ends on Shinra being a wuss.

And we've reached a certain fixture of the late season! Let's hope these tributes don't make a meal of THE◊ FEAST!◊

• The Matching Slippers Gang subject Mad Jack to an embarrassing end. I'm just surprised it didn't come sooner, myself.
• DIO is AWOL. Comic Book Guy's blood is more than enough to satisfy him.
• Awww, look, a cat-themed birthday cake! Which is made of solid metal, and crushes Nepeta into a troll pancake when she tries to take it from Dr. Wily. Accident my foot, there is no way a fiend like Wily wasn't planning this!
• Dawn and Shinra also have better things to do.
• Primal Kite Man has reverted to a time before humans had manners. "Man, you're so full of hot air!"
• They don't make snacks like these in Arstotzka. Sergiu only has so much restraint.

DAY◊ SEVEN◊

• Ripoff? Absolutely not! That one evil megacorp doesn't own the word "Shinra", you know!
• Having finally gotten involved in something exciting at the Feast, Wrastor passes the time in a more relaxed fashion come sunrise.
• ...the hell are those glasses made of? Why did Dawn, of all tributes, have them? And why did DIO altruistically give them to someone else and not steal them to gain yet more new powers? Riddles for the ages all.
• Speaking of new powers, as if Huck wasn't obnoxious enough already. But does his new form have anything to hold a Gravity Gun with?
• Repel Pundead.
• Dr. Wily doesn't have long to revel in finally claiming a victim. Along comes Fi, who makes Wily croak, literally and figuratively.
• Finally, here's Primal Kite Man, the latest in a long line of tributes using their powerful new forms for underwhelming ends.

FALLEN◊ TRIBUTES◊: Vetape, Comic Book Guy, Mad Jack, Nepeta, Dr. Wily

Well, Dawn survived the Feast update... will he be a podium finisher again? We shall see...

RIP kitty troll, died on her wriggling day, October 6.

And about time Pun Dad does something other than make pu—

I shoulda learned a defensive spell.

Fixed.

Edited by TroperNo9001 on Jul 16th 2021 at 11:20:06 PM

Don't you mean make puns?

The end is nigh.

NIGHT◊ SEVEN◊

• Does Sergiu do anything with his newfound muscles? Of course not.
• "That was sure a frosty reception!" "And this is why I won't do anything with you."
• Dawn has had a revitalising realisation - he's a filthy rich pop star! Who needs friends, or acquaintances, or anyone who'll even make eye contact with you, when you have dosh?
• Huck has a major Heel Realisation... or maybe he just can't stand being a fish. Either way, he Gravity Guns himself into the Forcefield, and that's the end for him. Fried dogfish, anyone?
• Did DIO turn into a pony this season? No, of course not. See what Shinra means?
• Primal Kite Man has maintained a surprising aptitude for Black Comedy. And swordsmanship. RIP Wrastor.

DAY◊ EIGHT◊

• Isn't flying a kite in a thunderstorm one of the stupidest things you could do? I guess going Primal did a number on Kite Man's intelligence after all.
• Sergiu makes Dedusmuln proud.^note Now there's an esoteric reference for the books!
• Is "radishes" a euphemism? I mean, they are bright red...
• Some tasks Shinra doesn't need digits to perform.
• Now that he's relaxing in his oceans of cash, Dawn takes the time to give impressionable young minds some terrible advice.
• Redundancies! Second, as we all know, only to puns in humour value.

ARENA◊ EVENT!◊ Seems our tributes are on a forced vacation to Jurassic Park!

• Fi does the sensible thing and escapes as quickly as possible.
• Pun Dad wonders how to take advantage of this situation... then it Dawns on him.
• Mmmmm, horse meat. They're not impressed with how gaunt and scraggly their meal is, though.
• Primal Kite Man, in his ultimate act of idiocy, forgets his kites and tries swimming to safety. It ends about how you'd expect.
• After he was kind enough to give Sergiu Dawn's empowering glasses, DIO changes his tune and has the Arstotzkan border guard flattened! WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

FALLEN◊ TRIBUTES◊: Huck, Wrastor, Dawn, Shinra, Kite Man, Sergiu

NIGHT◊ EIGHT◊

• Knowing they're podium finishers anyway, Fi and Mr. Ramon set aside their differences and spend the night making pun-derful music.
• DIO does not join in. He seems scared, if anything, judging by the rituals he's performing...

DAY◊ NINE◊

• The Fi/Pun Dad friendship ends in tragedy almost as soon as it begins! "I bet you didn't see-saw that coming!"
• And it seems DIO made a severe error in judgement last night! Turns out holy wards are not kind to a creature as unholy as an infected zombie vampire... don't worry, we've got a Peacekeeper team on their way with some garlic, just to make sure he's dead! And so the Battle Royale crowns a pun-expected victor!

FALLEN◊ TRIBUTES◊: Fi, DIO

• First Place: Mr. Ramon aka Pun Dad, nominated by Troper No. 9001
• Second Place: Dio Brando, nominated by Billy 5545
• Third Place: Fi Skirata, nominated by The Meme Man
• Mass Murderers: Fi Skirata; Christian, also nominated by The Meme Man; Chuck "Kite Man" Brown, nominated by Plasma Man 2000

• OUR◊ WINNER!◊
• THE◊ PLACEMENTS◊
• DEATH◊ SUMMARY◊
• THE◊ STATISTICS◊

And that's all for the Thirteenth Battle Royale! Tune in soon for Purple Season, where everything is purple today, and purple is a colour! This is Leonard Sutton, signing out!

OOC: For Purple Season, here's two tributes where I'm very much taking advantage of being first in line. Sorry, vast FNF fanbase. :P

• Daddy Dearest◊ (male, safe)
• Mommy Mearest◊ (female, safe)

PURPLE TIME

Kaito Momota◊ (M, yellow) and Kokichi Ouma◊ (M, orange)

Edited by Psychedelicate on Jul 17th 2021 at 3:54:06 AM

My Little Purple: Twilight Sparkle◊ (assume she's an alicorn, I just wanna use this floofy pic) and her No. 1 assistant and adoptive little brother Spike◊ (prepubescent draggo)

And ayyyy congrats Pun Dad for winning the season by killing the    EEEEVIL    K-POP idol! Betraying Fi wasn't necessary though. D:

Edited by TroperNo9001 on Jul 16th 2021 at 11:48:44 PM

Purple time!

Homura Akemi◊ (female, yellow cause she's a teen)

Eridan Ampora (male, light green cause troll romance is weird)

(and hopefully I got this in on time and nobody beat me to either of them)

Tommy Callahan◊ – Male – Safe Death photo◊

Richard Hayden – Male – Safe

Edited by MatthewLMayfield on Jul 16th 2021 at 10:42:20 AM

Gordeau◊ (Under Night In-Birth) and Kofuki Shichinosato◊ (Katana Maidens, 14)

What if it was PURPLE?

Team "Gotta Say, Getting Killed By Either Of These Would Have To Be Super Embarrassing": The Bowling Berries◊ (source: DaThings) and the Trouble Cube◊ (both inanimate)

Edited by wingedcatgirl on Jul 16th 2021 at 10:40:03 AM

Purple Ludroth (male and non-sapient) and Phantom Limb◊

Edited by ThatIdiotMan on Jul 17th 2021 at 10:05:53 AM

170

Serata◊ (F, yellow)

Evil Robot◊ (M, safe, Mega Man 8)

Edited by SomeLibre on Jul 18th 2021 at 7:17:22 PM

Josuke Higashikata (Diamond is Unbreakable)◊ (Yellow, 16)

The Diamond is Unbreakable part is not nickname, but just the name of the part where this version of Josuke appears, because there's a Jojolion one. In addition, I'm nominating only one tribute this time.

Lugnut◊ (Male), Safe

Blackarachnia◊, (Female), Safe

Purple Tentacle◊ and Randall Boggs◊, both male and safe

William Afton◊ and Michael Afton◊ (both safe and male)

Thanos◊ and Baron Zemo◊