Provide disproportionate retribution to the misdemeanor above

Someone switched the labels between water and hydrochloric acid at your home.

I told a saleswoman I would be back the next day while I had no intention to do so because the shop was too expensive.

You find all your valuable possessions missing in your home. Along with a note that says "I owe you".

I didn't flush the public toilet after using it.

Edited by ericshaofangwang on Jul 18th 2018 at 9:47:37 PM

You wallow in a room full of your own, erhm, waste for a decade.

I ate the plums that were in the icebox.

Edited by MvflG on Jul 19th 2018 at 12:33:09 AM

A wizard cursed the plums to give you a literal brain freeze. The sudden temperature change damages your brain too much and you are rendered permanently comatose.

I burped loudly into a microphone and didn't say "Excuse me."

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Jul 18th 2018 at 6:17:03 AM

The mic was improperly set up and the feedback ruptures your eardrums.

I honked a car horn at a passersby.

Edited by ericshaofangwang on Jul 19th 2018 at 4:44:59 PM

Every night at exactly 3 am the sounds of every carhorn on earth honking at the same time play directly in your ears magically.

I spend too much time on my phone.

Your phone dies.

I stay up all night browsing TV Tropes.

You are stripped of your corporeal form and become a pure "troper", forced to wander the pages of the site forever editing wiki pages and posting on the forums.

I accidentally clicked thumbs down when I meant to click thumbs up.

Your real thumbs get permanently jabbed into your eyes.

I don't subscribe to someone on youtube when they ask me to. If TNP posts what I think they will...

No one subscribes to you.

I wear jeans to a formal graduation ceremony.

The people who came to watch the graduation get angry and trample you to death.

I spend all day watching youtube and playing games on my laptop.

You're fired. In both senses of the word. You lose your job and you get set on fire.

I sneak up behind a little old lady and yell "Boo!" Aw, phooey, I was hoping for some Never Mess with Granny antics.

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Aug 22nd 2018 at 3:50:54 AM

The old lady dies of an heart attack from fright and you are sentenced to life in prison for involuntary manslaughter.

I steal a cookie from the cookie jar.

Edited by Lyciboo13 on Aug 22nd 2018 at 3:21:29 AM

The cookie steals an organ from your organ jar.

I go on Snopes.

How is that a misdemeanor?

how is that a retribution?

You are immediately given a special kind of lobotomy and now you believe absolutely everything you are told. You are now the most gullible person in the entire world.

I crack my knuckles.

You get you're hands chopped off and paralysed from the neck down

I breathe.

Edited by Warmaster23rat on Aug 23rd 2018 at 11:59:59 AM

You’re now unable to inhale anything but fluorine, which still burns you to death if you inhale it.

I quote Ganon.

Get disentagraged by Gannon over 5 hours. Feet first.

I exist.

You're plagued by suicidal depression.

I lie about age on Facebook.

You get shot in both kneecaps, disembowled, and get a nuke called upon your position.

I murder a guy.

You and your entire family are disintegrated by Gannondorf over 55 hours. Feat first.

I make a tasteless joke.

Edited by TheBlueHour on Aug 23rd 2018 at 5:15:16 AM

You get beaten to death by the sjws

I slap my own ass

Edited by Warmaster23rat on Aug 23rd 2018 at 5:24:21 AM

The donkey repeatedly kicks you and makes chunky salsa out of your corpse.

I wolf whistled at construction workers.

They come over to investigate. However, they were busy securing something so it would not fall, and it falls. On your head.

I slept in an hour.