Release: December 24, 2013
Film: The Christmas Tree
Tagline: "Doesn't get any piss-poor than this.''
This review contains examples of:
- Accidental Nightmare Fuel: Santa in this film, according to the Critic.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: "Okay, pick one. Either
horrible adult actors, horrible child actors, or aliens trying to pose as children to take over the universe." - Dramatically Missing the Point: The critic claims this happened with the filmmakers in regards to the True Meaning of Christmas.
- Gory Discretion Shot: To make a point about the film's poor editing, the Critic intercuts Judy talking to the orphans about Christmas with Rachel going out with Malcolm, who later catches her getting intimate with Doug. The three get in a fight, and the video cuts back to the movie right as Rachel swings a baseball bat towards Malcolm's head.
- Limited Animation: So much so that the Critic jumps and yells "D'ah! Movement!" the first time Mrs. Mavilda actually moves.
- Precision F-Strike: The Critic shouts this before his final thoughts on the movie.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: The Critic delivers an epic rant against the film and how it didn't care.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: When the orphanage kids smile in an uncanny way at Lily and Pappy, the Critic wonders if that was actually meant to be satanic hypnosis. The clip is shown again, this time with the kids' eyes glowing red and with sinister music playing.
- Shell-Shocked Veteran: During a Beat when the Mayor is giving Mrs. Mavilda the two money bags, the Critic wonders if he had a 'Nam flashback and plays footage of a helicopter crash over said pause.
- Shout-Out:
- The Critic's introduction of this film is almost verbatim to Criswell's introduction of Plan 9 from Outer Space.
- While commenting on the Limited Animation of the cartoon, the Critic voices over Mrs. Mavilda:
- Split Personality: The Critic thinks Mrs. Mavilda has several of these, judging from several glitches in her audio that make it seem like she constantly interrupts herself.
- Take That!:
- After Licorice the dog says where the North Pole is by barking, the Critic asks him a series of questions, one of which is, "Do you know why smart people keep watching The Middle?"
- At the scene where Mrs. Mavilda is hysterically yelling at Judy that she's fired, a shocked Critic notes that no microphone would have an "insane bitch" setting (like the kind of hysteria Mrs. Mavilda is exhibiting)... with the possible exception of Ann Coulter's (a notoriously vocal conservative commentator).
- Thief Bag: Mrs. Mavilda gets paid by the Mayor in bags of money for some reason. The Critic parodies this by showing him angrily telling a cashier (Rachel) to accept his check for two money bags. The Mayor is then seen driving off in his Monopoly game piece.
- This Is Gonna Suck: The Critic can't get through his opening catchphrase.
- The Unintelligible: Lily is so unintelligible that at one point a clip from Rush Hour of James Carter asking a guy, "What the hell did you just say?" is spliced in to show how someone would react to her.
- True Meaning of Christmas: For the Critic, Christmas is all about the effort put into the love you share with others and in giving to the less fortunate. He exemplifies it by proudly showing off the efforts of Malcolm, Rachel, Jim and his brother Rob, as well as those of their parents, Barney and Sandy, in raising them.
- Twitchy Eye: The Critic has this when trying to introduce the show.
- Worst. Whatever. Ever!: The Critic's opinion of the cartoon. According to him, not even calling it the animated equivalent of The Room (2003) (a film the Critic genuinely thinks is So Bad, It's Good) excuses its sloppy execution, especially for any self-respecting Christmas special.
"YOU'RE FIRED!!!"
