Quotes / Food Porn

Fan Works

I do not recall all the good things we ate, cheeses and ptarmigan, fat and lazy and only just turning out of its white winter plumage, new spring fish, heavy with salty roe, venison and lamb, cooked with early apples, even a haunch of ham, thinly-sliced rich, coated in crushed white peppercorns, up from the curing cellars just for us. There were stews also, and pies filled with hearty vegetables, gravy of goose drippings and white wine, a mound of mashed turnips swimming in butter, fennel, blanched whole and beautiful in its delicate aniseed flavour, crisp to the bite. I ate as much as I could, not more than Sanguieur, but at least I had room for the glorious mint and strawberry tart that followed everything, with rich, sweet plum wine for the adults.

— Kushiel's Pupil

Literature

This wasn't food; it was what food became if it had been good and gone to food heaven.

— Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

You can get a large audience together for a striptease act—that is, to watch a girl undress on the stage. Now suppose you come to a country where you could fill a theatre by simply bringing a covered plate on to the stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let every one see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a bit of bacon, would you not think that in that country something had gone wrong with the appetite for food? And would not anyone who had grown up in a different world think there was something equally queer about the state of the sex instinct among us?
One critic said that if he found a country in which such strip-tease acts with food were popular, he would conclude that the people of that country were starving. He meant, of course, to imply that such things as the strip-tease act resulted not from sexual corruption but from sexual starvation.

— C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

In my own first story I described at length what I thought a very fine high tea given by a hospitable faun to the little girl who was my heroine. A man, who has children of his own, said, "Ah, I see how you got to that. If you want to please grown-up readers give them sex, so you thought to yourself, 'That won't do for children, what shall I give them instead? I know! The little blighters like eating.'" In reality, however, I myself like eating and drinking. I put in what I would have liked to read as a child and what I still like reading now in my fifties.

— C. S. Lewis, On Three Ways of Writing for Children

It is true that I spend a lot of words in my books describing the meals my characters are eating. More than most writers, I suspect. This does draw a certain amount of criticism from those readers and reviewers who like a brisker pace. “Do we really need all that detailed description of food?” these critics will ask. “What does it matter how many courses were served, whether the capons were nicely crisped, what sort of sauce the wild boar was cooked in?” Whether it is a seventy-seven-course wedding banquet or some outlaws sharing salt beef and apples around a campfire, these critics don’t want to hear about it unless it advances the plot.
I bet they eat fast food while they’re typing too.

— George R. R. Martin, A Feast of Ice and Fire: The Official Game of Thrones Companion Cookbook

Live-Action TV

Jerry: I'll tell you what you did, Caligula. You've combined food and sex together into one sick, uncontrollable urge!
George: You gonna finish those fries?
Jerry: Please tell me that's all you're gonna do with them.

— Seinfeld

Soft, sultry commercial voiceover (Dervla Kirwan): Gourmet salad with caramelised pears and creamy stilton... cookswell pork pie, in rich crust pastry... extra-sweet, hand-picked fresh cherries... This is not just food...
Charlie Brooker: [leaping up and undoing his belt] You're damn right it's not, it's food that's about to be fucked silly.

— Screenwipe

"The other night I watched Nigella Lawson; picked up a couple of good tips on baking bread. And in the process, I just about ripped my cock off."

— Frankie Boyle, "Unlikely Letters to Be Read Out On Points of View", Mock the Week

"I feel like I just called an 800 number where I hear you talk food all day."

— Alton Brown to Alex Guarnaschelli after she described a contestant's dessert on Chopped

"I can't do this! I can't give up my favorite foods cold turkey — oh my God. Turkey. With... pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes... butter-drenched dressing... TINY onions... swimming in a sea of cream sauce. Ah..."

— Uncle Phil, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

You have to eat with your eyes before you eat with your stomach.

— Tommy Walton, MasterChef, Season 6

Riker: Chocolate ice cream, chocolate fudge and chocolate chips. You're not depressed, are you?
Troi: I'm fine, Commander.
Riker: Would you like me to leave you two alone?
Troi: No, you can join us.
(she offers him a spoon)
Riker: No, thanks. I don't like fudge.
Troi: Really? I never met a chocolate I didn't like.
Riker: Doesn't it taste good?
Troi: Of course it does, but it's not just a matter of taste. It's the whole experience. First of all, you have to spoon the fudge around the rim, leaving only ice cream in the middle. Then, you gently spoon the ice cream around the sides, like you're sculpting it. Relish every bite. Make every one an event. And then, with the last spoonful, close your eyes.
Riker: I had no idea it was such a ritual.
Troi: Chocolate is a serious thing.

— Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Game"

Webcomics

Thistle: [reading aloud] ...smoked sausage and stewed potatoes, seasoned with rosemary and thick butter, there, thick cuts of beef, drowned in sauce, whole pigs and geese that roasted over a blazing pit, which spat and blazed with each drop of juice that fell plentifully from them as they gently turned-
Lyra: UUUUUUUGHH, I'm so hungry.
Thistle: How is this one meal so many pages

— Daughter of the Lilies, 8.31

Web Original

She grabbed and groped around, reveling in in the warm, sticky feeling of the blood coating her arm and her hands, filling her nose with glorious salty sweetness, as she worked to locate the most desirable part of-
With a twist and a yell of primal joy, she pulled out her own prize - a small dark red chunk of muscle from within the snake, coated with fresh, warm blood. Sweet, tender underbelly meat. Her absolute favorite.

— Shensurei, an untitled piece

Western Animation

Sexy Female Voiceover: We start with pure milk chocolate...
Homer: mmmm, chocolate...
Sexy Female Voiceover:...add a layer of farm fresh honey...
Homer: ohhhh, sweet....
Sexy Female Voiceover:...then we sprinkle on four kinds of sugar...
Homer: [drooling]
Sexy Female Voiceover: ....and dip it in rich, creamery butter.

— The Simpsons, "Bart's Friend Falls in Love"

Real Life

"My mind is muddled with excess, having just lived on copious amounts of champagne and cheese, meats stewed in lusciously decadent sauce, chocolate soufflés and salted caramels, and more champagne to wash it all down."

— Jewel Staite

"The first bite is with the eyes."

— Chef's Axiom, Anonymous

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