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Podcast / Hadron Gospel Hour

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"Hadronites, assemble!"
Your trope page is doomed.

Hadron Gospel Hour is a 2013 science fiction comedy podcast about the hapless duo composed of Hadron scientist Dr. Francis "Oppenheimer" Valdini and his somewhat reluctant partner, the kidnapped IT guy Mike Wilkinson who become stranded outside of spacetime in the Hadron Bunker. Alongside, the sassy laboratory A.I. "A.S.H.LE", a goofy, partially disembodied maintenance man Cyrus, and a floating, sentient Higgs-Boson particle Higgs_B, the two struggle ineptly to repair the infamous Hadron Rift. To save the multiverse, Oppenheimr and Mike must visit freaky new alternate timelines, making wacky new friends-and ridiculous new enemies-along the way.

The podcast is updated once every few months and the winner of a few awards such as the Parsac Best Speculative Fiction award. Episode can be listened to here.


It's time for tropes from the Hadron Rift!

  • A.I. Is a Crapshoot: Mostly subverted with A.S.H.LE though when she is infused with a virus that Mike accidentally places in her system, she plays this trope hilariously straight.
  • An Arm and a Leg: Cyrus is horribly deformed after the accident and is now stuck in the wall with an incomplete torso. The rest of his body parts are shown to be scattered around but are of limited use to him.
  • Battle of the Bands: "Legs In the Business" focuses on Product Corp's Interdimensional Superstar competiton.
  • Benevolent A.I.: A.S.H.LE works as a supporting Artificial Intelligence in the bunker and though she can be rather sassy, she's far from having any true malevolence.
  • Bland-Name Product: Very much the case with the cooperation literally named Product Corp that seems to make and own practically everything.
  • Body Horror:
    • A few instances of this though it's namely Played for Laughs. Cyrus' situation is on behalf of the Hadron Rift scattering his body parts around and only leaving his torso-minus his arms-within a wall of the Hadron Bunker.
    • The security guard Freddy Plasington ends up being deformed after being caught in an explosion of melted plastic that molds to his form and gives him powers rather than killing him.
  • Catchphrase: A few of these. Higgs_B has a tendency to say a cheerful "This pleases me" after finding some new discovery interesting. Cyrus also tends to say "Ya know," a lot, ya know?
  • Christmas Episode: "Hadron Holiday Special" and "Higgs_B Takes A Holiday".
  • Cloud Cuckooland: There's an incredibly small amount of fully sane characters and even ones most would consider "normal" will have something a little off about them.
  • Creepy Monotone: Everyone in the suburbia dimension tends to speak this way. A long with their incredibly jaded speech patterns, it makes all their dialogue sound uncanny.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Mike, Oppenheier, and namely A.S.H.LE have their fair share of snarky commentary.
  • Dimensional Traveler: The duo spend much of the show jumping from world to world.
  • Distaff Counterpart: When trying to pair up the socially crippled and lonely Mike and Oppenheimer with potential mates, Higgs_B ends up finding not just women compatible with the two, but their exact selves as women.
  • Everyone Laughs Ending: The end of "Head Hatz and Horror Hosts" has this until Cyrus' violent coughing interrupts.
  • Evil, Inc.: Product Corp mass produces almost everything in the multiverse and has an abusive cycle of treating its employees who are forced to produced ads every second of the day.
  • Hive Mind: The ultimate plan of the Head Hatz cooperation. When Mike wears one of the mind control helmets, he begins to have mood swings, increased strength, and faster reflexes until his entirely personality is consumed. It escalates to the point he becomes controlled by a malevolent higher being using him to open a gateway to the Hadron Rift that can be manipulated by the mistress.
  • Insufferable Genius: Dr. Oppenheimer sees himself as of much higher intelligence than practically everyone else and though he's normally right to some extent, his haughtiness can become an annoyance.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Oppenheimer can be selfish and apathetic but even he can have his moments of kindness once he considers the well-being of others. He also honestly cares about those in the bunker as well as his long-gone wife.
  • Large Ham: Commander Funk is easily the most hammy. His first appearance involves being backed up by a supporting crew and a roaring bass track that thumps behind his heroic monologue.
  • Mad Scientist: Oppenheimer trying to weaponize the Hadron Effect is what led to the current catastrophe. He's highly intelligent, if not a bit delusional and arrogant at times, and namely uses his scientific knowledge for good.
  • Nice Guy: Higgs_B falls into this category more than anyone else. He's always in good spirits, loyal even to complete strangers, and doesn't seem to have a single malicious proton in his cube.
  • Only Sane Man: Mike is normally the more sensible one out of the group and seemed to live an average life before being dragged into the bunker.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Mike and Oppenheimer have this as one of their central differences. Oppenheimer is the hyper intelligent and dramatic one to Mike's practical and more snarky personality.
  • Show Within a Show: "Tales From the Hadron Rift" is a podcast hosted by Oppenheimer...within the podcast itself.
  • Straight Man and Wise Guy: Mike and Oppenheimer for the most part though the roles can reverse depending on the scenario.
  • Villain with Good Publicity: Product Corp is an Evil, Inc. that forces their employees to work twenty-four seven creating advertisements and will immediately jump to violent threats if they see their schedule being interrupted. The problem is that the company is behind so many wonderful, life changing items that no one thinks to fight against them.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: Watching hours of "Baywatch Nights" with limited nutrients causes Oppenheimer to become delusional and approach the disappearance of Cyrus' arm to be his own eighties mystery fantasy.

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