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Literature / Mark Delewen and the Space Pirates

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An online short story by E. G. Castle, Mark Delewen and the Space Pirates starts off with Mark investigating the forest, where he had seen something fall the previous night. He wasn't prepared to encounter a Space Patrolman there, though, hot on the trail of a group of pirates! There is no way Mark is going to let an adventure like this slip away!

Mark Delewn and the Space Pirates contains examples of:

  • Aliens Speaking English: Subverted for language, as translators have to be used. But played straight for numbers; apparently, all aliens use regular Arabic numerals.
  • All Planets Are Earthlike: The one or two planets they visit are pretty much just like Earth. Mark worries about how he can breath the air, but Tirt brushes it off with, ‘Air’s air.’
  • Bottomless Magazines: Played with: The guns have a lot of power, enough for a hundred shots, and a reload of the same, but Mark and Tirt do in fact run through their first magazines and presumably a good bit of their back-ups. And guess what happens to Officer Tirt just when he was about to shoot the pirate captain...
  • Character Name and the Noun Phrase: Mark Delewen and the Space Pirates obviously fits.
  • Hat Damage: Mark accidentally shoots off the pirate captain’s very large hat.
  • Jumped at the Call: Mark is not only perfectly happy to go on an adventure, he specifically gets Tirt to take him along, even though the space patrolman would’ve left him behind otherwise.
  • The Paralyzer: Tirt orders Mark to set his gun to stun when they board the Liover.
  • Parody: Zig-zags being a straight ‘kid space adventure’ and a parody of one.
  • Ray Gun: Mark and Tirt use a pair of guns that can stun or kill, although, of course, only the former is used.
  • Reading Your Rights: At the end Officer Tirt pulls a hilarious version:
    Officer Tirt: You have the right to remain silent, but not to throw things, scream, beat your hands against the floor or in any other way make a fuss. Anything you do after this point will be regarded with severity, especially any attempt to resist the arrest! Should you at any time feel you require a lawyer, we will provide one to sue you! You cannot do or say anything that hasn’t been authorized by your arresting officer!
  • Shoot Out the Lock: Lampshaded by Tirt after he does just that and the door opens.
    Tirt: Didn’t expect that to work...
  • Space Pirates: The ones mentioned in the title, usually referred to as the Liover pirates.
  • Space Police: Officer Tirt and the organization he belongs to; the Space Patrol.
  • Space Sailing: Despite being in outer space, the pirates’ ships look just like old style pirate ships from the cannon and sails days, with some modifications. Officer Tirt and Mark even lampshade this:
    Tirt: Of course it is! What else were you expecting? [And yeah, he’s being serious.]
    Mark: This is ridiculous...
  • Stealth in Space: Tirt has the SkyGuardian cloak itself while they drift into the Ondoog system.
  • Talk Like a Pirate: The only pirate lines used in the entire story are variations on ‘Arr!’.
  • Wall Crawl: The gravity belts Mark and Tirt use allow the user to walk on the ceiling and presumably on the walls as well. Mark uses the trick a few times, most notably to throw himself around a corner to shoot at some guards.
  • Wretched Hive: Mark qoutes the line ‘a wretched hive of scum and villainy' at the Ongood system. Considering it’s home to a spaceyard that specifically caters to criminals, he probably has a point.