- Mr. Orange: "He's convinced me! Gimme my dollar back."
- Joe's rant/"joke" about the Dogs wasting time telling jokes.Joe: So, you guys like to tell jokes and giggle and kid around, huh? Giggling like a bunch of young broads in the schoolyard. Well, let me tell a joke. Five guys sitting in a bullpen in San Quentin, wondering how the fuck they got there. "What did we do wrong? What shoulda we done? What didn't we do? It's your fault, my fault, his fault." All that bullshit. Finally someone comes up with the idea, "Wait a minute, while we were planning this caper, all we did was sit around and tell fuckin' jokes." Got the message? Fellas, I don't mean to holler at you. When this caper's over, and I'm sure it's gonna be a successful one, hell, we'll go down the Hawaiian islands, I'll laugh with all of you. You'll find me a different character there. Right now, it's a matter of business.
- Joe giving out the names.Mr. Pink: Whoa, why am I Mr. Pink?
Joe: Because you're a faggot, all right?
- Mr. Pink suggests he be called Mr. Purple instead.Joe: You're not Mr. Purple. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Purple. You're Mr. PINK!
- Also:Mr. Brown: Yeah, yeah, but "Mr. Brown"? That's a little too close to "Mr. Shit."
- Joe's annoyance at the others (Pink, mostly), for not just taking their names and liking it, a cross between Seinfeldian Conversation and legitimate establishment of authority.Joe: Tried it once, doesn't work. You got four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. Black, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down.
Joe: Hey, Nobody's trading with anybody. This ain't a goddamn... fucking city council meeting, you know.
Joe: All you guys got the goddamn message?... I'm so goddamn mad, hollering at you guys I can barely talk.
- Mr. Pink suggests he be called Mr. Purple instead.
- The look from the cops that Mr. Orange gets while he's drying his hands in the bathroom during the "Commode Story."
- "All those cops are looking at me—and they know, man, they can smell it!"
- Mr. Orange practicing the story in his room: "'Hey, Freddy—' (EHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!) 'Hey... dude...'"
- Mr. Orange's partner when he's about to tell him the joke.Mr. Orange: What's this?
Holdaway: It's an amusing anecdote about a drug deal.
Mr. Orange: A what?
Holdaway: Something funny that happened to you while you were doing a fucking job, man!
- "I gotta memorize all this?!"
- Mr. Brown's explanation of Madonna's "Like A Virgin."Mr. Brown: Let me tell you what "Like A Virgin" is about. It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine. I'm talkin' morning, day, night, afternoon... Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr. White: A lot.
- Mr. Blonde talking into Marvin's severed ear.
- Mr. Blonde dancing to "Stuck in the Middle With You," even if it is Nightmare Fuel too.
- The K-Billy DJ's pronunciation of "behemoth".
- The whole darn shtick of the DJ sounding bored out of his brains, as he's giving "hip" remarks on the station and the songs.
- Mr. Pink explaining his escape from the bank, and the conversation after it.Mr. Pink: I tagged a couple cops. You kill anybody?
Mr. White: A few cops.
Mr. Pink: No real people?
Mr. White: Just cops.
- Mr. White explains to Mr. Orange the art of shaking down people in a jewelry store, including Fingore; after he's done, he follows up with, "I'm hungry, let's get a taco."
- Mr White: "You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."
- When "Nice Guy" Eddie talks about "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia", Mr Pink moves to take a sip from his cup before realising it's empty. He then looks for the waitress.
- Mr. White trying to calm a panic-stricken Mr. Orange.Mr. Orange: All this blood's scaring the shit out of me, Larry. I'm gonna die, I know it!
Mr. White: Oh, excuse me. I didn't realize you had a degree in medicine.
- Mr. White after he lays Mr. Orange on the wooden ramp.Mr. White: Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Mr. Orange: *looks at his bullet wound and bangs his head on the floor* Shit!
Mr. White: Stop banging your head. You're gonna bang a fucking hole in the floor. You don't wanna hurt the fucking floor, do ya?
Mr. Orange: (chuckles weakly)
- Mr. Pink entering the warehouse and seeing Mr. Orange bleeding all over the floor.Mr. Pink: This is bad. This is so fucking bad. Is it bad?
Mr. White: As opposed to good?
- Mr. Pink after his long rant of how he should have walked from the job.Mr. White: What's done is done. We need you cool. Are you cool?
Mr. Pink: (Loud crashing noise from off-screen) All right, I'm cool.
- Nice Guy Eddie's entire anecdote about E-Lois. Made more amusing by White's inability to stop laughing throughout.
Funny / Reservoir Dogs