If you dawdle on the roads, you'll get unceremoniously run over. It's a surprisingly mundane way to Mortis.
Most of the "voice acting" in general. It's strangely funny listening to a flat computer voice speaking what are meant to be serious lines of dialogue.
Most of the endings in Chapter 1 are downright Downer Endings, with the exception of one: shoot the deer (who you’ve run into a few times out in the forest) with your single rifle bullet, and a herd of deer will run you off the road and then stomp you to death. It comes right out of left field and it's a surprisingly goofy ending to what was otherwise a very serious game.
After declaring that Michael will "Drink the wrath of the Almighty", Father Garcia runs off... using the most goofy run animation.
After the unnerving encounter with Jeffrey, you exit the birthing center... and the officer who was helping you sees that cultists have set fire to his car and chases them off. "Damn hippies!"
If you're revisiting the birthing center, you access the basement by getting back on the gurney and then trying to wiggle into the door. Then a faceless body gets off one of the other gurneys and pushes John off, sending him careening down the stairs. It'd be a freaky moment if John wasn't screaming in monotonous text-to-speech.
Further inside, John comes face to face with a woman cradling a child:
Mysterious Woman: Shh... please don't wake the baby. John: I'm looking for twin boys, Nate and Jason Martin. Have you seen them? Mysterious Woman: The children belong to Gary now. John: Who's Gary? (The woman turns to look at John.) Mysterious Woman?:Gary is a normal human being,just like you and me. (beat) John:... I'm leaving now.
The Priest Cop poster encountered at the apartments. Amidst the numerous demonic terrors, a 8-bit action star tearing off his police uniform is enough to draw a chuckle.
One of the notes written by Gary at the apartments warns the cultists to not engage with the Elevator Friend or Malphas if you happen to see them and to just stay out of their way and let them do their thing. It's very ominous and vaguely threatening… until you get to the reminder that the rent and utilities are due at the first of the month. The fact that he's still fulfilling his role as the landlord while being a demon trying to jumpstart the Apocalypse is extremely amusing.
In the Daycare, John encounters many drawings of kids with very creepy demons drawn on them... and then there's another that has their parents decapitated with blood, a lot of money around the child, and just crude writing reading "Thanks Satin". It's Black Comedy at its finest.
When you arrive at the daycare center, the front of the building is sealed off completely and several police officers are waiting with their pistols aimed at the front door. Whether it's by not paying attention or simply wanting to see what happens, you can exit out this front door, which results in the cops mistaking John's cross for a gun and opening fire. John is instantly shot dead, complete with an animated cutscene of him getting riddled with holes, but even after this, the camera cuts back to a wide shot of the cops continuing to spray bulletseverywhere.
The notes you find underneath the daycare show that Gary's cult includes tiers for acolytes, and higher tiers enjoy extra privileges like a Patreon backer.
Even better, the extra privileges are not something most people would want. You get such wonderful things as "an odor" that will make people stay away from you, a sense of finality and doom, and your body warping into… unconventional shapes. It's all played up as being fantastic! Then you get to Tier IV, where the privileges are basically "you don't own your body anymore" and "you could be killed at any time".
In one section of the underground, you have to play "Red Light Green Light" with a demon/possessed person to get a key to move on. Yes, apparently Satanic rituals involve childrens' games.
Gary wearing Cool Shades. Just a cheesy pair of 80s white shades.
After defeating Miriam, John awakes in a bed at what appears to be his house. Down the hall is a door with several crucifixes nailed to it. His response is an understandable "I am not going in there", with the player able to hear the implied tone of "Do you think i'm that stupid?" despite the low-fi, computer generated voice.
Being a pastor, John never swears, but when he confronts Gary he lets slip the closest thing to a Precision F-Strike:
John: In the name of God, I demand to know what the hell is going on here!
The sequence of Gary getting shot in the face by Father Garcia and then running into the Crucible room while Garcia follows behind to continue pumping him full of buckshot is as hilarious as it is completely badass.
The True Final Boss fight has two moments that completely turn the mood around:
After beating Gary and Malphas, a series of pixelated fireworks will go off as the message "CONGRATULATION"[sic] flashes on top of the screen. The celebration is interrupted by the possessed Miriam appearing to serve as the True Final Boss.
If the battle against Miriam goes on for long enough, she will go offscreen with a message inviting the player to take a short break while silly circus music plays. This time you get an audio cue before the battle resumes.
The somber sequence of John finally putting Amy to rest can be ruined if the player stays idle through the instructions directed towards them:
(You can use the cross now) (Seriously just use the cross) (But, you know, take your time or whatever)
A branching point at the Golden Ending lets you choose between John joining Father Garcia in hunting down The UNSPEAKABLE, or going with Lisa to live their lives in peace. Choose to go with Father Garcia, and John will accept his offer with the Predator bro-handshake and an enthusiastic "Let's go fight some demons." It's a surprisingly gung-ho ending after everything that's happened.
The Halloween Update added a bonus mode for those who complete the "Good Christian Boy" achievement and complete the entire game in its marathon mode with zero deaths. What does this day - coinciding with the in-universe Profane Sabbath - have to offer? The ability to disable demonic encounters. The end result of starting a game like this is an alternate universe where the demons never existed, following John's Saturday morning as he prepares for a nice resting day with an added pep in his step, jaunty background music, no environmental puzzles to speak of, nothing to kill you, and a sky blue background that feels downright eye-searing after staring at the predominantly black screen for so long. The entire thing feels like Airdorf's way of making fun of people who said the game was praising Satan simply by showing them, and it's as goofy as it is sickeningly sweet.
