- The first conversation:Rhiannon: George is not a sexy name. George is like what you name your teddy bear, not the name you wanna scream out during climax.Mr. Griffith: [just walking up] And by that I assume you mean...?Olive: The stable and self-perpetuating end stage of the evolution of a plant community.
- When Olive comes to school in her skanky wardrobe for the first time...Anson: ...what's an anagram?Olive: Look it up, big boy. (notices Rhiannon has been giving her dirty looks the entire time) What's your problem?Rhiannon: You really wanna know what my problem is?Olive: No, not really, that was a rhetorical question. I don't want anything from you ever again.Rhiannon: We are not friends anymore.Olive: (begins walking off, said in a mocking tone) Aw.Rhiannon: We are officially over!Rhiannon: (now shouting at Olive's back) And I want my Juicy sweater back! It's way too loose around your chest, anyway!Olive: Ooooohhh, buuurnn.
- When she first runs into Mr. Griffiths in that wardrobe, she braces herself for a lecture... but all he says is "Don't forget tomorrow's Earth Day."
- To convince everyone that he's not gay, Brandon has Olive pretend to have sex with him at a party. He makes the most bizarre noises and the two of them jump up and down on the bed. Brandon says things like, "CAN YOU SMELL THAT!?" and when reprimanded by Olive, tries to correct the damage by saying even more ridiculous things - "IT DOESN'T REALLY SMELL THAT BAD!" and then for the 'grand finale' she smacks him one in the stomach.
- Olive's Mom: I once dated a homosexual, for a long, long time.Olive: ...please tell me you did not marry and have children with him.
- After Olive has been sent to the principal's office for calling Nina a twat, and has been let off with a warning:Rhiannon: Please tell me the rumors are true.Olive: Yes. Yes, I am a big fat slut.Rhiannon: No, no, not that one, the one where you got suspended for calling Nina Howell a dick, and punched her in the left tit.Olive: I worry about the way information circulates in this school.
- This:Mr. Griffith: I don't know what it is about Nina...I hate her.
- Marianne pouring all the rage she has into sharpening pencils, and Olive giving a live commentary on it.Olive: Sharpening your pencils? Gettin' them nice and sharp? Hm? Sharpening them up? Look at you! Look at you! Oh! So sharp! Uh! Sharpening those pencils. Sharp sharp sharp sharp. Ooh! God that's sharp...!Mrs. Griffiths: Olive, you ready to come in.Olive: (gets up, then turns to mouth at Marianne one last time) Sharp.
- The scene where Brandon goes to visit Olive after their detention together.Brandon: Hi, is there an Olive here?Olive's Mom: There's a whole jar in the fridge.Brandon: Um, sorry, I must have the wrong address—Olive's Mom: Just kidding, come on in! Any friend of Olive's is a friend of our daughter. (calls up the stairs) Olive, sweetie, there's a man here to see you. He said something about asking for your hand in marriage!Olive: (comes down the stairs, impersonates a Southern Belle's voice) Oh, happy day, Momma! Oh, I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness! A gentleman caller, hooray! (drags Brandon up the stairs)Olive's Dad: What's that?Olive's Mom: Olive has a boy in her room.Olive's Dad: A boy?Olive's Mom: A boy.Chip: A boy?Olive's Mom: A boy.Chip: Wow.
- Later, when Olive's mother is speaking to her about Brandon, "asking" whether they are dating.Olive's Mom: He seems like a nice kid. He seems a little...incredibly gay.
- Later, when Olive's mother is speaking to her about Brandon, "asking" whether they are dating.
- This:Mr. Griffiths: I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought, but I can assure you they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an okay day and got a Coke Zero at the gas station? Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?Olive: He got a Coke Zero again?! Oh, that Roman. Incorrigible!
- Olive's eyes going all wonky when she receives her dinner at the Lobster Shack.
- When the family was discussing puberty, Olive's mother says that she went through puberty later on than most kids, so it's probably the same for Chip, too.Chip: What does that matter? I'm adopted.
Olive's Dad: (slamming the cabinet shut) OH MY GOD, WHO TOLD YOU?!
- "I'm drunk, what's up, bitches?!"
- How Olive REALLY spent her weekend after lying about having a date - a montage that shows her slowly becoming addicted to "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Bedingfield, after claiming it to be the "worst song ever".
- The entire Huckleberry Finn Brick Joke. "My apologies to Mark Twain".
- Brandon's gift to Olive after the party: a $200 gift card to Target and a vibrator, in case she needs to go "fuck herself."
Funny / Easy A