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Fanfic / The Conversion Bureau: A Kinder World

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The Conversion Bureau: A Kinder World is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic written in response to The Conversion Bureau: The Other Side of the Spectrum, in an attempt to write an "Anti Conversion Bureau" story without being, in the author's opinion, unreadably terrible.

Twilight Sparkle, after plenty of sweat and money, has built a working Portal Device and has invited her friends to her library basement to test it. Things appear to go along swimmingly until, however, the portal not only sucks in Twilight and Fluttershy, but spits out a biped in a bombsuit, who had activated a similar device at home.


Thing is, he did it to stop Princess Celestia, but not the Celestia we know and love, and his first reaction to seeing the rest of the ponies is, understandably, to beat the crap out of them and run. After demonstrating an unwillingness to let Applebloom die at the paws of a manticore, he becomes reluctantly trusting of the new ponies, and convinced to have an audience with Princess Luna.

After being imprisoned by the bizarre creatures known as humans, Twilight and Fluttershy learn that their species is on the brink of extinction at the hooves of ponies both like and unlike themselves, zealous ponies determined to convert every last man, woman and child on the planet into more of their number, and Celestia appears to be at the head of it all.

A problem, since canon Celestia appears to have arrived alongside Twilight and Fluttershy. After proving they're not like those other ponies, however, the two ponies are sent on a journey to send an ultimatum: Surrender to the Human Liberation Front or "their" Princess Celestia dies. In the interim, both parties attempt to find out what happened that turned the ponies into the genocidal zealots now plaguing the Earth.



  • Alternate History: Similar characters, similar world, radically different scenario, all because Nightmare Moon beat Celestia.
  • Assimilation Plot: Dark Celestia's game plan.
  • Baleful Polymorph: Canon Twilight reluctantly transforms Carpenter into a pony after he's mortally wounded to save his life. He doesn't take it well.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Richard's first act of kindness directed at ponies involves saving Applebloom from a Manticore.
  • Brainwashed and Crazy: Luna is briefly put under dark!Celestia's mind control but is snapped out of it. Implied to be the case with all dark!ponies
  • Clothes Make the Superman: Richard wears a heavy and very concealing bombsuit during his time in the story, and it enables repeated acts of badassery. He refuses to remove it for anyone.
  • Dead Fic: Has become this, with the author having lost interest in the story.
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  • Emergency Transformation: Ponification is an instant cure for anything from a mere flesh wound to a mortal injury, although it has its own catches.
  • Expy: Palladion is one of Victor.
  • Force Feeding: If dark!ponies get the chance; it's easier than throwing fluids everywhere.
  • Had to Be Sharp: Basically every surviving human in North America/Canada, thanks to the proclivity of ponification sprees to go viral.
  • Interrupted Suicide: Fluttershy and Carpenter.
  • Light Is Not Good: No human wants to see a sunrise three hours early, because it means they're too close to the sun.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: Oss was written as the author perceived certain members of certain forums.
  • No-Sell: Palladion (or any of Ma's children) vs. Ponification Serum.
  • One-Man Army: Richard is remarkably competent, worth several of his colleagues alone.
  • Punny Name: Specialist Kay Oss. Kay. Oss. He advocates brutal murder first and foremost. His sanity is all that stops him screaming about Blood for the Blood God.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: The first sign that there's more than fanaticism driving the dark!ponies is when Canon Twilight notices Rainbow Dash's eyes becoming slit and catlike when she suspects a human is nearby.
  • The Starscream: Specialist Oss tries to murder Commander Tulip and kill Canon Celestia in a coup.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Three months before the events of the story, Richard responded to his daughter getting ponified by killing dark!Twilight. He accomplished this by blowing up the Library of Congress with her in it.
  • 20 Minutes into the Future
  • Two Lines, No Waiting: The story is split evenly between Richard, Lyra, Rainbow Dash and Trixie traveling to Canterlot to see Princess Luna; and Twilight, Fluttershy, and their human and robot escorts traveling to New York to deliver the HLF's ultimatum.
  • Transhuman Treachery: Some of the dark! ponies didn't need to be brainwashed.
  • Turbine Blender: In a sense. Palladion uses a drill on a restrained pony in his other arm's clamp.
  • Unfortunate Names: Commander Tulip. It's not detrimental to his overall characterization though.


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