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Awesome / Going Postal

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  • Vetinari arresting the board members of the Grand Trunk in the climax. It's a bit of a Deus ex Machina, but as Vetinari has observed, being a tyrant has to have some satisfactions to make up for the job's many inconveniences.
    • It was also perfectly set up, as without Moist's actions, not even Vetinari would have been able to avoid the public backlash. After the climax, no one would dare move to help anyone associated with the Trunk.
  • Just as a furious Stanley is about to attack Moist for losing his temper with Groat, Moist catches Mr. Pump raising his fist to defend him. Instantly, he distracts Stanley so thoroughly he forgets all about his rage, leaving a confused Pump with a raised hand.
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  • Moist had always considered himself a criminal with standards because he deliberately avoided hurting people. Mr. Pump blows a hole in that happy little illusion. Moist is stunned.
    "I Have Worked It Out. You Have Killed Two Point Three Eight People."
    "I have never laid a finger on anyone in my life, Mr. Pump. I may be... all those things you know I am, but I am not a killer! I have never so much as drawn a sword!"
    "No, You Have Not. But You Have Stolen, Embezzled, Defrauded, And Swindled Without Discrimination, Mr. Lipwig. You Have Ruined Business And Destroyed Jobs. When Banks Fail, It Is Seldom Bankers Who Starve. Your Actions Have Taken Money From Those Who Had Little Enough To Begin With. In A Myriad Small Ways You Have Hastened The Deaths Of Many. You Did Not Know Them. You Did Not See Them Bleed. But You Snatched Food From Their Mouths And Tore Clothes From Their Backs. For Sport, Mr. Lipwig. For Sport. For The Joy Of The Game."
  • Moist Von Lipwig, whenever he decides to put all his chips in. Then, he tops it, when he puts in the chips he doesn't actually have. Then goes for double or nothing.
    • Moist's entire existence is pretty much one continuous CMOA, but the very best has to be at the end, during the entire monologue about how fear is hope turned inside out. "You know it can't go wrong, you're sure it can't go wrong... But it might." And then he looks at Reacher Gilt and thinks "I've got you."
    • The leadup to this sequence also deserves mention — the reader is fooled into thinking that Moist is going to go along with the Smoking Gnu's awesome plan to destroy the clacks network with their Steampunk "computer virus", ...The Woodpecker (the ellipsis is key), as this is so lovingly described and would be thematic poetic justice, as it would not have worked if Gilt and his cronies hadn't destroyed the Grand Trunk's working culture — but Moist realises that many innocent customers and employees of the Grand Trunk would suffer from the catastrophe, and so quickly makes up a plan that brings down Gilt without damaging the clacks network. Even if he later morally agonises over using his con artist skills to imitate the voices of the dead.
      • And it shows that Mr. Pump's Kirk Summation (see above), worked. This time, Moist is applying his con artistry in a manner that saves the livelihoods of all the everyday people who depend upon the institution he's conning.
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    • Possibly the best thing about that is Moist's grasp of psychology. Even if Gilt is driving the Grand Trunk's working culture into the ground, the clacksmen out in the towers cling to their professional pride, and if a few of them do their job diligently, the Woodpecker will fail. Moist's alternative message is one the clacksmen are very happy to pass along.
    • The 'burning clacks towers' scene is also this trope for Pterry himself, as he cons the readers into thinking it actually happened, in a novel which stars a con-artist protagonist. Nice one, Sir Terry!
  • Moist realizing that he can bring his entire amassed fortune from years of crime into play, publicly, without incriminating himself in any way, by just telling the right lie. And then doing it.
  • Before that, when he's being inducted into the society of elderly postmen, he identifies by hearing alone the breed of dogs that are being sicced on him (incorrectly, it turns out) and successfully uses the commands his grandfather taught every dog to command them to sit and stay quiet. The dogs obey, to the postmen's surprise, especially when it turns out Moist didn't bother to use the whistle Groat slipped him, knowing it would only anger the dogs. Of course, Moist has to kindly ask Mr. Pump for an underwear change when it turns out none of the dogs were actually trained to heed commands in that language, and only obeyed out of sheer bafflement.
  • Adora Belle's threatened use of very, very pointy heels. Do you feel lucky, jerk?
  • Vetinari has a hilarious one at the beginning of the book (Chapter one - In which our Hero experiences Hope, the Greatest Gift.) As the warder explains, Vetinari insists that all condemned prisoners should be offered the prospect of freedom (Only the prospect, not actual free freedom as such; That would be daft). It provides occ-you-pay-shun-all ther-ra-py, healthy exercise, prevents moping and offers the greatest of all treasures, which is Hope.
    • And in the end, this gets that bastard Reacher Gilt killed. "Sadly, he did not believe in angels."
  • "And that's when it all went wrong for Mr Gryle, because Stanley had one of his Little Moments".
    • To elaborate: earlier in the book, Stanley threatens to harm Lipwig for losing his temper at Mr. Groat. Near the climax, Stanley stumbles upon a wounded Mr. Groat, and is confronted by the assassin who attacks him as well. Stanley immediately proves that he was not making idle threats, and retaliates so hard the assassin is forced to flee.
    • What is especially great about this is the setup and the description. Mr. Groat and Stanley are a pair of strange people who were forced to live and work together in an even stranger environment, but they managed to not only hammer out a working relationship, but actually became friends who care for each other. In the description of the event, Stanley's thoughts are not shown, only the physical act of him silently realizing that Mr. Groat has been gravely injured by an intruder. It really is a testament to the author's skill that you can feel the wordless shock and immediate fury Stanley feels.
  • Vetinari trying his best to misunderstand business terms to make the Grand Trunk board members relax, because, after all, what did he know about business practices, he'd been classically educated. Then giving them just enough time to remember that his classical education had been at the Assassins' Guild.

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