Several things happened when we last left off Gummy and his friends. Gummy drove some elves in a Cool Car, brought his friends to Christmas Island, and started searching for Santa after the reindeer explained to the team that Santa had been abducted by aliens. I still can't get over how those reindeer DRANK BOOZE IN A KIDS MOVIE! I don't know how to describe this insanity.
Back to the movie, Santa notices that Rudy has company, and he apparently knows all of their names. Oh yeah, Santa is the one who knows who is naughty or nice. Unless, of course, this is part of the same continuity as A Fairly Odd Christmas is, but I highly doubt that. Oh dear, I have liveblogged less than five seconds of this movie in this installment, and I am already reaching insanity due to this nonsense. Thankfully, Santa hasn't actually been abducted, and he is just fishing. Sadly, there have been no fish biting, so he hasn't caught any at the time. Of course, he jinxes it, as a huge fish comes in just as he says it. Gummy immediately proceeds to catch it. Then, more iMovie music
plays as the fish pulls them in, only for Santa to cause the two to waterski. Thanks to Allen, Black Magic comes in to make things worse and ruin the fun. Thankfully, they get pulled to shore, and Santa admits that it was kind of fun. And the fish? He's just an ordinary goldfish who speaks in dolphin sounds from iMovie. A tip for you filmmakers: don't be lazy when you find sound effects. Go out and try to find the real deal. Santa then starts claiming that he was under a "weird spell", which Harry can't believe. To make matters worse, Santa Claus is now a Hypno Fool who thinks that Time Stands Still. Dun dun duuuuuuuuun...
Suddenly, a wild ALLEN appears! Go, GUMMY! Allen introduces himself as Third Board Plantar of Gennuon X67588872 Cuniar. Allen is just his nickname.
Gummy: Well, that's a relief. Otherwise, this story would be longer than Lord of the Onion Rings!
Allen then calls Kala a Cute Kitten, which angers her quite a bit. However, Allen uses Immobilus to stop her. Yes, they stole from Harry Potter as well. Anyway, Allen explains his plan to abduct Santa, not knowing about Christmas. Allen then recognizes Gummy from the "Galactic Internet", mentioning the Ear Worm that the original video has. This inspires Gummy to challenge Allen to a dance-off, because Dancing Is Serious Business here. The entire thing is All or Nothing.
Gummy starts round one off to a song about how much he likes his "nuki". Let me put it in a more sensible fashion: Gummy is a Manchild who still sucks his pacifier and never lets it leave his mouth. Still, the entire musical number is still Filler, and it serves to purpose besides providing a Silly Song to add to the film's running time. I have to share Allen's boredom for this sequence. Of course, this is the next thing to happen.
Vam Piro: HA! Let's see you top THAT!
Well, to be more clear, Allen summons a DanceDanceRevolution mat. It's not even a Bland-Name Product version, as Kala evens mentions it as "DDR". Automatically, everyone can already tell that Allen is Giftedly Bad at dancing to comically high levels. After summoning dancing shoes with his Harry Potter spells, he starts "dancing" to this song.
I actually watched that music video, only to realize that the goldfish, as well as early versions of Harry and Allen all had appeared in this video first before appearing in this movie. Kala and Vam Piro still have no excuse to appear in this monstrosity. But still, who would be enough of a geek to notice that before watching the movie! You should at least introduce us to these characters without thinking we'll already know who they are, rather than trying to go through a nonexistent Fan Myopia. Seriously, who actually is a rabid fanboy for a thirty-second long video about a singing gummy bear. Ugh.
Allen decides to speed up the music, only for him to create an Epic Fail of a dance performance which sets his shoes on fire. Saying that Gummy won is now officially an understatement.
To add even more Filler to the movie, Kala then decides to go for a head-to-head round with no cheating to claim the winner. The music starts, and the dance battle occurs. Saying the music is an Ear Worm is an Understatement.
Dancin dancin's what I need/Dancing dancing hold my beat/Dancing dancing on the streets/G-U-M-M-I-B-bear!
OH GOD! NOW I HAVE IT STUCK IN MY HEAD AS WELL!
So, Gummy wins after the song abruptly ends. Allen then rigs the rules so he wins. Apparently Allen wants to steal Christmas from Earth, so he rigs the rules so he wins. Gummy then gives a speech about the True Meaning of Christmas. Allen soon apologizes for this issue, and he tells Santa that he only wants to spread Christmas joy to his planet.
How will Christmas be saved? Find out next time!
