Get Help With English Here

"only her existence rejected by her own people"

-> only her existence is rejected by her own people

"her people starts to reconsider" -> start to reconsider

"She decided to seal herself after her delusional power seems out of control"

-> She decides...

"thus her role superseded by Uranus" -> thus her role is superseded...

"another former CPU of Planeptune and the NPC appears in Re;Birth2 SISTER GENERATIONS, otherwise known as Caelus in the original mk2"

The wording is somewhat confusing here and I'm not sure exactly what you're trying to say. This is my best guess.

-> another former CPU of Planeptune. This NPC appears in Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2 SISTERS GENERATION, and is known as Caelus in Hyperdimension Neptunia mk2.

This is a run-on sentence and needs to be split up. I'll also do some spelling editing.

->His true identity is a youth volunteer for Planeptune's Basilicom. He's dedicated to making Planeptune a better nation, even sacrificing his life to protect Uzume from murder by a Planeptune Extremist.

edited 7th Feb '16 11:04:30 PM by Arivne

I'd like someone to comment out The Big Guy example that I've added a while ago to Series.Nash Bridges.

Awkward language aside, this was an attempt to edit-and-see. It's a ZCE on grounds of not Stating the Source (I've planned to add episode titles to bullets, but couldn't readily do it then, and I'm still not ready to). The Example Indentation was the actual thing attemptedly stretched there. I know the rule(s) pretty well. I also think I know how badly character archetype tropes are being misused and how hard are they to properly context. I'm still positive the edit had a step in the right direction albeit one that is supposed to be tediously defended in the trope talk forums first (poor prospects of finding a reciprocative talk force have been my assumption from before putting that example into the page >_>).

edited 8th Feb '16 3:22:41 PM by SetsunasaNiWa

For Characters/XCOM 2

On ADVENT Characters, Avatar folder.

• Purposefully Overpowered: They have a massive HP pool, have armor, regenerate a high amount of HP per turn, teleport away every time they take damage, and and have a good number of powerful psychic abilities. Oh, and they're also immune to Flashbangs, so you can't use those to break any mind control that the Avatar is doing on your team. Too bad, they still can be killed in one hit by Repeater-modified weapons, though.

edited 10th Feb '16 5:41:13 AM by Aurevoir

I have another entry for Characters.Sentinels Of The Multiverse.

Expatriette

• Charged Attack: Dark Watch Expatriette's base power increases the damage she does during her next turn.
• Eyepatch of Power: Wears one after a battle damaged her right eye.
• Fire, Ice, Lightning: Incendiary Rounds, Liquid Nitrogen Rounds, and Shock Rounds. Incendiary Rounds and Liquid Nitrogen Rounds change the damage type of the Gun they are in to fire and cold while Shock Rounds deal each non-hero target electric damage when the gun is fired.
• Glass Cannon: Expatriette's Guns let her deal high amounts of damage with or without loading them with ammo cards. Combined with Unload she can fire every gun she has in a single turn increasing the damage even more. However, she has no way to heal herself and her only defense is her Flak Jacket, which only prevents the first instance of three damage or higher before being destroyed.
• Scars Are Forever: Has had the scars under her eyepatch for several years.

Greazer Clutch

Debut: Villains of the Multiverse

An alien bounty hunter, Greazer Clutch has come to Earth for one reason: To capture his mark and cash that sucker in for that sweet sweet cash.

Unlike other villains, Greazer has no set nemesis. Instead he marks a hero at the start of the game with Living Paycheck and relentlessly targets that hero until they are defeated.

• Berserk Button: Do not damage his hair. Doing so will result in a Counter-Attack.
• Bounty Hunter
• Cool Spaceship: The Pink Lady, which resembles a hot rod.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Greazer only cares about KOing his mark. If he succeeds he leaves the battle and his 'teammates' behind.

edited 10th Feb '16 10:05:18 AM by Kingofsouls

Suggested changes:

And now for another English rule: when do you add an "s" at the end of a verb?

• 1. If the noun that's performing the verb is singular, the verb is plural (add an "s").
• 2. If the noun that's performing the verb is plural, the verb is singular (don't add an "s").

Examples:

• 1. The dog walks down the street (singular noun, plural verb).
• 2. The dogs walk down the street (plural noun, singular verb).

Simple, right? That's why I changed "They...teleports" to "They...teleport" above.

Well, unless you're using British English. In that case, a singular noun that's made up of multiple parts may be treated as a plural noun. For example, a committee is made up of multiple people, and a sentence might read "The committee feel that the rule should be adopted."

edited 10th Feb '16 11:48:23 PM by Arivne

The phrase "Expatriette's base power" should be set off from the rest of the sentence.

I would split this into two sentences and add a couple of commas.

edited 10th Feb '16 3:42:43 AM by Arivne

Understand, and I fixed it.

I think I may need to explain on the first one. Each hero has a variant of themselves, each with a different base power. Dark Watch Expatriette is the variant for Expatriette, and that version of herself had the Charged Attack for a base power. So when I said Dark Watch Expatriette's base power, I was referring to Dark Watch Expatriette's base power, not Expatriette' s base power called Dark Watch.

Does this sounds right? (I'm not sure about the grammar)

• Chaste Hero: Chapter 24, Yuu shows how much apathic he is for the differences between boys and girls, asking where the girls gone(toilet) while Kimizuki and Yoichi got it quickly. In the game, Owari no Seraph Unmei no Hajimari, Yuu's apathetic when looking at the girls with only towels. Also, when Yuu was asked in the fanbook, who concerns him the most inside Shinoa's Squad, his answer were: "Eh, everyone"; This show he have no romantic feelings for anyone inside the squad, and anything that could be romantic implication from Yuu's side to anyone in the squad(til chapter 41) are platonic.

edited 11th Feb '16 12:17:39 AM by Lemyngue

Adding some words for Megadimension Neptunia VII pages.

For Nightmare Fuel page:

• The moment where all main CPUs start acting out of character after Kurome release their leash. While retaining their signature personality, they start talking something murderous in front of the Candidates. Especially from Neptune as Purple Heart, her speech pattern become similar to notorious sadist Iris Heart, except with even more cold blooded tone than aforementioned character; all while she strangles Nepgear. If not for Ultradimension!Neptune's nick of time intervention, she could be killed in any second.
  • Even worse during the Bad Ending. All main CPUs has completely fallen. The Candidates, instead stand up and fight to rescue their sisters, they forced to retreat and can't do anything, but sit and watch their dimension destroyed. In just a few seconds, this moment is arguably the most horrifying and gut wrenching moment in the game, if not the entire Neptunia franchise, easily outdoing the infamous Conquest Ending from mk2/Re;Birth2. Thankfully, unlike the Conquest Ending, this ending doesn't have any requirement for the Trophies list, thus the ending is pretty worthless.

For Heartwarming page:

• Uzume reunite with her fellow Planeptune residents in the Revival Ending/True Ending.

For Tear Jerker page:

• The Ascension Ending, AKA the Normal Ending of the game. Uzume is Killed Off for Real, signified with the console is destroyed for good. Neptune cannot do anything but screams her name while in tears.

edited 11th Feb '16 9:00:43 PM by Strafe2409

I must ask you to elaborate on the heartwarming entry

What about this one. Do you think this is elaborate?

• Uzume reunites with her fellow Planeptune residents in the Revival Ending/True Ending. Especially with Histoire, as she feel nostalgic after listening her speech pattern.

edited 11th Feb '16 10:00:10 PM by Strafe2409

@Lemyngue

It will be simpler just to re-write this in its entirety.

I changed most of the verbs from past tense to present tense as per How to Write an Example - Write in Present Tense.

edited 12th Feb '16 3:19:47 AM by Arivne

@Strafe2409

• "after Kurome release their leash" -> releases
• "Especially from Neptune as Purple Heart" -> Especially Neptune...
• "speech pattern become" -> becomes
• "to notorious sadist" -> to the notorious...
• "than aforementioned" -> than the aforementioned
• "she could be killed in any second."-> she could have been killed at any second.

• "All main CP Us has" -> All the main CP Us have...
• "instead stand up and fight to" -> instead of standing up and fighting to
• "they forced to retreat" -> they are forced to retreat
• "can't do anything," -> delete the comma
• "watch their dimension destroyed" -> watch their dimension be destroyed.

• "Uzume reunite" -> reunites

• "signified with the console is destroyed for good"-> console being destroyed
• "screams her name" -> scream

In a post up above I explained the English rule for when you add an "s" to the end of a verb. It will show you why I added or deleted an s from a verb in my corrections.

edited 12th Feb '16 3:53:33 AM by Arivne

"as she feel nostalgic" -> feels

"after listening her speech pattern.-> after listening to her speech pattern.

edited 12th Feb '16 3:56:59 AM by Arivne

Adding the words for Nerf trope in Megadimension Neptunia VII.

• Even the weapons get this one too. Remember Gehaburn, the infamous Infinity +1 Sword from mk2 and it's remake, Re;Birth2? The good news is: you can obtain this Nepgear's final weapon after you complete a certain S-Rank quest, and it still retains the similar stats as the most powerful weapon in the entire game. The bad news: the so-called Malice Sword, renegade CPUs consuming is now reduces Nepgear's VIT and MEN with -1000 and -500 points respectively. As the icing on the cake, it also reduces her LUK up to -9999 points.

edited 12th Feb '16 1:55:17 PM by Strafe2409

The good news is: you can obtain this Nepgear's final weapon after you complete a certain S-Rank quest,

try either of the following:

• you can obtain this, Nepgear's final weapon
• you can obtain Nepgear's final weapon

also if it reduces a stat, should it be "down to"?

edited 12th Feb '16 3:39:52 PM by MorningStar1337

Okay, fixed.

• Even the weapons get this one too. Remember Gehaburn, the infamous Infinity+1 Sword from mk2 and it's remake, Re;Birth2? The good news is: you can obtain this, Nepgear's final weapon after you complete a certain S-Rank quest, and it still retains the similar stats as the most powerful weapon in the entire game. The bad news: this so-called "renegade CP Us consuming Malice Sword" is now reduces Nepgear's VIT and MEN with -1000 and -500 points respectively. As the icing on the cake, it also reduces her LUK down to -9999 points.

edited 12th Feb '16 4:18:00 PM by Strafe2409

Adding a new trope for Kurome in Megadimension Neptunia VII:

• The Resenter: She despises the people of Gamindustri; Planeptune in particular, believing that she was created by her own people only to then be rejected, discarded and sealed away. Her hatred is so great, that even creating the Zerodimension and Heartdimension: the former as the embodiment of Gamindustri is being destroyed by her, while the latter is completely destroyed by her.

I been suspended, can someone check my work because I want to some tropes to Emergence and YMMV so I can get that appeal thing going, please?

• Nothing Is the Same Anymore: While Gemstone did it best to cover up Team RWBY existence from the public, Cinder attack on RTX and the media outbreak soon afterward force the U.S President to publicly reveal the existence of the Remnant universe to the public.
• Spared by the Adaptation: While the Canon verse Roman is eaten by the Grimm in Heroes and Monsters, the Emergence verse Roman along with Neo survived and surrendered to the U.S military when he has confirmed that Cinder is dead.
  • In addition while Canon Pyrrha is murdered by Cinder in The end of the Beginning, the Emergence verse Pyrrha manage to barely survive her encounter with Cinder sparing her from a terrible death by her hands.

YMMV

• Lighter and Softer: While the Canon verse is slowly turning more darker as Cinder murdered the Fall Maiden Amber and Pyrrha, Vale being overrun by Grimm, and Yang losing her right arm; the Emergence verse manage to somewhat stay lighter then the main series as they were few death in between stories, including Cinder group beside Roman and Neo; meanwhile team RWBY and JNPR somehow manage to survive and stay intact from all of this.

edited 13th Feb '16 7:08:47 PM by cipher92

Thanks for the fix Arivne! I wanted to know if the english is right here:

True Companions: Yuu's team becomes this and Guren's team are also this and he encourages this way of thinking to those under him. The kids on Hyakuya Orphanage could also be considered this, one of the words Yuu use to describe them is "Nakama"(Comrades), aside "Tomodachi"(Friends) and "Kazoku"(Family) at chapter2(the director told them to call themselves as family, but the kids were ready to get adopted if the situation comes, like when Mahiru goes to the orphanage to take Juni on Vol.5 of Guren's Light Novel).

edited 13th Feb '16 1:10:30 PM by Lemyngue

Adding the new words and tropes in Megadimension Neptunia VII character page:

A mysterious girl first appearing in Hyperdimension G arc and the mastermind of the entire game's events. She is the original Uzume Tennouboshi, and she was the former Console Patron Unit of Planeptune before Uranus and Neptune. However, she sealed herself away because her powers going haywire. Starting to hate the Gamindustri, the source of her power shifted from Share Energy to Negative Energy, and she wants to break free from her seal to pursue a vendetta towards anyone who despise her. Eventually, her remaining Share Energy split from her and took on the form of another herself.

• Apocalypse How: Similar to Hyperdimension!Rei from previous game, she attempts to do a Multiversal one, Class 5 or 6.
• Ax-Crazy: As Dark Orange. While retains her vengeful personality, she loses her calm and calculative demeanor and becomes more unhinged.
• Dark and Troubled Past: Because of her power being out of control, combined with her being treated like a pariah by her own people (although not entirely), she's become vengeful, leading her to believe that those who loathe her are deserved to be destroyed.
• Drunk with Power: As Dark Orange, she slips into this very quickly. Noire, Blanc and Vert lampshades this in the final battle against her.
• From Nobody to Nightmare: Originally being a CPU of Planeptune, her role completely changed to be a vengeance-seeking Omnicidal Maniac, even moreso than Rei.
• Jekyll & Hyde: Another accurate example when comparing her and Zerodimension!Uzume. Justified, because she and Uzume are literally the same person.
• Sadist: Holy crap. Surpassing even her fellow destroyer of Gamindustri, Rei, she really loves deceiving anyone else for nothing more and nothing less, other than her own amusement.

edited 13th Feb '16 9:27:00 PM by Strafe2409

You're talking about Kurome Ankokuboshi. It might help to mention that in your post. I'll leave the description to someone else but I can suggest changes for the entries

• Apocalypse How: put the classes next to "Multiversal"
• Ax-Crazy: While she retains her vengeful personality as Dark Orange...
• Dark and Troubled Past: remove the Are and changed "deserved" next to it to "deserves"
• Drunk with Power: remove the s in "Lampshades", verbs do not need pluralizing
• From Nobody to Nightmare: might want to remove the Rei comparison, also consider removing the "be" and maybe changing "vengance-seeking" to "vengeful"
• Jekyll & Hyde: Literally is already misused for hyperbole and redundancy. I'd consider removing it, but I'll leave that to a second opinion
• Sadist: again, I'd remove the Rei comparison (that is, everything up to "she")^note personally I find iris Heart to be more sadistic than Rei but that is irrelevant to the entry itself

As a side note. I;d say that spoilers are mandatory, given the nature of the character herself.

On a side note since you doing entries for the character sheet of Megadimension Neptunia VII and Kurome specifically, I found a Zero Context Example in Kurome's section if you're interested in fleshing it out.

edited 13th Feb '16 10:10:53 PM by MorningStar1337

@Morning Star 1337: Okay, do you think it should be like this?

• Apocalypse How: Similar to Hyperdimension!Rei from previous game, she attempts to do either Class 5 or 6, a Multiversal one.
• Ax-Crazy: While she retains her vengeful personality as Dark Orange, she loses her calm and calculative demeanor and becomes more unhinged.
• Dark and Troubled Past: Because of her power being out of control, combined with her being treated like a pariah by her own people (although not entirely), she's become vengeful, leading her to believe that those who loathe her deserves to be destroyed.
• From Nobody to Nightmare: Originally being a CPU of Planeptune, her role completely changed to a vengeful Omnicidal Maniac.
• Jekyll & Hyde: Another accurate example when comparing her and Zerodimension!Uzume. Justified, because she and Uzume are the same person.
• Sadist: She really loves deceiving anyone else for nothing more and nothing less, other than her own amusement.

Better, but I think the Apocalypse How example still needs some ironing out, (and explaining the Dimension merger aspect of that plot, lest it betimes a Zero Context Example)

(come to think of it, do we have an example of properly worded entries?)