Nation Critique Thread

That's small compared to the rest of the world.

They make money from their Gladiator Games.

I hope there was a typo somewhere, because 400 million would mean it's the size of South America. No matter how powerful the center would be and how much the gladiator games pull in, you'd eventually get a LOT more individual cities for the sake of practicality.

I was working out my population of fairy-Ireland with all its petty-kingdoms, and it worked out to 5 million—a bit more than Ireland's population in real life, but considerably high considering it's got Stone/Bronze Age technology mixed with magical equivalents of modern tech.

edited 11th Jun '15 7:06:47 PM by Sharysa

Oh shit, 400?

I initially wanted 40 million, but your South America analogy makes me wanna bump it down to 4 million.

edited 11th Jun '15 7:13:08 PM by Serocco

Definitely more reasonable, but I'd say to have around two to four "secondary" cities of 50,000-ish and and one metropolis of 1-2 million, with the rest in small towns and villages.

Edit: Here's a really great website for figuring out population, people who have trouble with numbers! http://www222.pair.com/sjohn/blueroom/demog.htm

edited 11th Jun '15 7:21:50 PM by Sharysa

Maybe you can show off one of your nations?

Whoops, sorry! I've been stuck in worldbuilding for Moonflowers this past week, so I didn't want to get more distracted. This is just copy-pasting, though!

Fairy-Ireland

• Fairy-Ireland is the Otherworldly counterpart to mortal Ireland. Thanks to The Fair Folk having long lives and magical abilities, it consists of a number of petty-kingdoms. The Irish Folk are led by the goddess Aine in a rough equivalent of a High Queen. While their technology holds to the Stone and Bronze Ages in general, their magic can duplicate a number of modern technologies and they are masters of castle-building and agriculture due to their nature. Their navies and air-forces are also extremely developed—as their water-spirits and air-spirits can do many things that humans need technology for (flying and breathing underwater among the biggest), they far outstrip humans in air and water combat.
• Fairy-Ireland's directions are reversed: North is south, and east is west. If one is bad at travel, it's disorienting to switch between the mortal world and Otherworld. Fairy-rings, offering sites, and fairy-hills are portals, and most often avoided by humans. Time-wise, the Fire Festivals of Samhain, Imbolc, Bealtaine, and Lughnasadh are the times when the veil between the worlds becomes thinnest. The spring and autumn equinoxes are also when the veil thins.
• In addition to the directions being reversed and therefore holding to those laws of physics, many things are the opposite of the mortal world: Nighttime in the mortal world is daytime in the Otherworld, and mortal weather will contrast with Otherworld weather. The Esker Riada from Dublin to Galway in mortal Ireland (a series of esker ridges dividing it in half) is replaced by a massive river 1-4 miles wide called the White Belt. The name comes from how in winter, the ice makes the river appear white. The northern shore is swampy, while the southern shore is flat and tedious. It's frequently just called “the Belt” among most of the Folk.
• The Maygeld Road is one of the most highly-traveled routes in the east, as it cuts through the vast forest of the Timberdeep and the rugged southern hills; it runs from Painted Mound two weeks south, all the way to the middle of the White Belt. The Spearhead Road is the main route in the south, named due to its distinctive triangular shape. The stretch where they join together from the White Belt is called the Haft, and a large inn called the Three Days Inn is there. (Named such because it takes 3-4 days from both directions to get there.)

• Thanks to their immortality, egalitarian nature, and magic, the Folk's armies range from 25-33% of their main population. Unfortunately, their medieval society makes them extremely classist by modern Western standards.
  • They have indentured servitude, which is severely distasteful to most Western mortals. Most at least try to adhere to basic decency regarding the terms of the debtors' contracts and length of service to their contract-holder, but many unscrupulous Folk get around legal issues by either paying the debtor a token salary and therefore not requiring a contract, or by drawing up a very loosely-worded one.

• The Kingdom Under the Hills is where the people of the fairy-hills live, with two main territories in the northeast and smaller communities scattered throughout Ireland. It is the least populous region at about 620,000, two-thirds of most other regions and half that of the most populous plains and rivers. They have about forty Hill Lords that reside in or near the fairy-mounds, who are equivalent to dukes or reigning princes just below the Ruler Under the Hills. The ruler's seat is the Hawthorn Fort in Westermark Howe, located roughly between what would be mortal-Ireland's Tipperary and Limerick counties. The region only has two proper cities: Sruth Airgid (35,000) is four days south from the Hawthorn Fort. Pikewall (26,000) is a week southwest, by the White Belt. Trabreochloch (“Flint Strand”) is more like a town at 10,000, but it is called the Small City thanks to their flint and invaluable port. The forest of the Timberdeep surrounds the Hawthorn Fort’s demesne and covers a good two weeks’ travel in the northern half of the territory. It is notorious for “drowning” would-be attackers (either from running out of supplies or exhausting them), especially Beltmen from the south or Plainsmen used to open ground. The southern Hillmen tend towards herding instead of farming. Still, they have pragmatic and close-knit communities thanks to travel being so arduous.
• The River Clans of the eponymous river-spirits have a population nearly as large as the Kingdom on the Plains at 1 million. Their massive city Waterborn (90,000) is where the White Belt splits off into the River Tullyroe, with another city of Straboy (67,000) by Lough Erne. They do not have a politically-central area, but as a rule of thumb, the River Clans own either “whatever the river touches” or “whatever the river surrounds." Rivermen are among the friendliest to humans thanks to living in close proximity, but they tend to be temperamental and passionate. They have blue or light-gray eyes.
• The Kingdoms in the Air, where the bird-spirits and wind-spirits live, has an average-sized population of 755,000. They have twin cities across the Shannon River: Ballycarrig (40,000) and Open Landing (60,000). Both are noted to be extremely beautiful, having avoided sprawl and crowding thanks to their mapmakers' adept expansions. Due to the high bird population, they tend towards dark hair and eyes, and frequently small stature as well.
• The Kingdom Within Stone, home of the Mountainmen, is also average-sized at about 800,000. The Twelvelords of the Twelve Bens are a cultural equivalent to the Hill Lords. The seat of the Mountain King/Queen is in Sorcha's Rock in the Slieve League. The cities of Cloudhall (40,000) and Revaghcoom (28,000) are built in extensive cave-systems. Cloudhall is three weeks from the Hawthorn Fort. The Mountainmen are known for their great height and muscular build, with many women nearly six feet tall and men several inches above them. While they dress the most "normal" looking to Western humans, they are ironically considered the most old-fashioned by their own kind as they hold to gender-neutral tunics/shirts and trousers unless for celebrations. They have a cultural kinship with the Hillmen as they both live in harsh terrain, and get along well with the Rivermen. However, they are notably distant from the Grove Tribes: While the Mountainmen are pragmatic and stoic, the Grove Tribes have exacting etiquette and ritual.
• The Kingdom on the Ice, where the Beltmen/Icemen live, is another low-population area thanks to the freezing winters of the White Belt and the swamplands of the southwest. The ruler's seat is the Icefort, a league off from the city of Hailspur (30,000) is about three leagues away from the Icefort. Garvaghy (38,000) is in Lord Callum Bergin’s territory, two weeks away from the Hawthorn Fort at the Belt’s widest stretch of water. They have a heavy Norse population, due to the obvious gravitation of the Norse Vikings to water, and are feared on seas and rivers. Oddly enough, they do not have a notable population of Rivermen—in fact, the kingdoms are staunch enemies. The Beltmen range from neutral to among the most hostile to humans, while the Rivermen are constantly protecting humans from them.
• The Kingdom on the Plains is the most populous at one million and a half, with mild seasons and a vast abundance of farmland. Their people are the Grassmen or Plainsmen. Three cities lie at the three main points of the teardrop-shaped territory: Cappaghbain (50,000) is in the south by the ruler's seat of Dun Clairbain. Blue Spur (42,000) is about a week to the west. Glassgarden (35,000) is in the northern tip, a few days from the White Belt. This may be where the mortal impression of the Otherworld comes from—a race of beautiful blondes living in idyllic fields—as they are protected by rivers on two sides from attackers. They're often seen as soft and frivolous by the other kingdoms, but are known to be skilled horsemen.
• The Grove Tribes are seventeen tribes ranging from 4,000-16,000 members each. As they do not consider themselves citizens of any kingdom, it is hard to get a proper headcount of them. Population ranges from 170,000-250,000. They tend to be short and stocky, and are master horsemen rivaled only by the Grassmen. They are known for their elaborate etiquette, grand (sometimes excessive) clothing and headdresses, and equally elaborate tattoos.

edited 11th Jun '15 11:33:26 PM by Sharysa

All of that is one kingdom? Very detailed, and I'm surprised there doesn't appear to be much infighting. Is it a confederation? Just a loose alliance? Or just a conglomerate of kingdoms in the same way a cluster of cities is a metropolis?u

edited 12th Jun '15 3:14:57 AM by Serocco

Sharysa's story is online- you should go read it, it's very well written.

BTW- that population article was fascinating, thanks for that link Shar.

Most likely it's a "loose conglomeration of kingdoms that at least try to leave each other alone." The High Queen is a goddess, so everyone tries to solve their disputes without calling her in too much.

Inter-kingdom warfare is rare because it's so much harder for fairies to kill each other than it is with humans. You try killing an army without illness/attrition/poisoning to soften them up :D. It's mostly limited to skirmishes between lords and the occasional trade/land/Moral Event Horizon dispute.

edited 12th Jun '15 11:31:37 AM by Sharysa

This Fairy Ireland kingdom is far darker than the average example. I heard about The Fair Folk, but your take on them is more reminiscent of power hungry slave trading humans, which was probably the point. They try to be egalitarian, but their indentured servitude practices are a massive mark against that.

• Full Title: The People's Republic of Averrium (Avery-uhm, also from Eclipse).
• History: Averrium was once a small community based town headed by a mayor and a few natives. A large influx of refugees and fugitives, along with rapid industrialization, led to Averrium expanding into a metropolitan city-state. Within two decades, and massive amounts of foreign aid by wealthy families and the Commonwealth of Ream, Averrium was reorganized into the People's Republic, with a stronger form of government and millions of Aura Users and Cullivers (refugees/fugitives and descendants from them) coexisting, though begrudgingly.
• Government: The People's Republic is a presidential representative democracy. Congress is the unicameral legislature, with a grand total of 1000 seats, but political parties are banned - voting blocs and like-minded caucuses are allowed, via Loophole Abuse, but they don't have the apparatus of a full fledged party. A caucus is a meeting of lawmakers who hold similar ideological alignments. Coalitions between caucuses are the norm, but only the specific Congressman is responsible for running their campaigns in elections; no diverting funds to their allies. All votes are counted only if none in Congress abstain. Congressmen can block the passage of a bill if they abstain from voting, and they can completely dissolve a bill from being brought up for a vote ever again if a super-majority abstains. Rupert Moddrowl, the senior-most Congressman, introduced a measure that created such a thing as the "Praeceptor." A Praeceptor, taken literally, is someone who teaches, and preceptor, which means upholding a tradition, is taken from the word Praeceptor. Moddrowl outlined democracy as the tradition for the Praeceptor to uphold. A democracy allows all voices to be heard, traditionally, so from that broad phrasing, the Preceptor is the voice of the opposition, selected by all lawmakers on Election Day upon the vetting of each candidate via committee. The lawmaker with the highest amount of bills passed is - of course - Rupert Moddrowl.
  • An Assembly is a semi-autonomous committee that oversees specific duties within the chamber; the votes and debates done by the whole of Congress are more like public exhibitions. No bill can be brought up for debate, let alone a vote, without it being vetted by an Assembly, which can itself amend a bill before sending it to the floor or not even bring it up for consideration. An Assembly conducts research, launches investigations, monitors ongoing governmental operations, identifies issues, evaluates solutions, reviews and recommend courses of action to their parent body. Under the newly created Operators, Assemblies pull double duty as pseudo-ministries, implementing executive policy as determined by both the Operators and Chancellor. The Operators were created to prevent Congress from functioning as "a collection of semi-autonomous committees that seldom act in unison."
  • The Chancellor of the People's Republic is the chief executive (head of state and government) as well as the presiding officer of Congress; the Chancellor is directly elected by popular vote for a four year term (and can be re-elected three other times). Prior to the latest election, Congress stripped some of the Chancellor's powers: it went from a five year term to four years, it has a fixed term of four instead of indefinite, it can't vote unless on extraordinary matters (like war), and it has an optional Leadership Review every two years (where Congress votes on their performance and declares if they retain confidence; if not, a leadership spill occurs and a new election is called, although a leadership review only happens from a super majority vote). The Chancellor, as Congress' presiding officer, largely dictates procedure, enforces decorum, appoints all members to the Assemblies, determines what rules and restrictions bills can be debated, amended, and voted on, dictates whether a bill even reaches a floor, decides what measures could be debated and amended, choose which Assembly will consider a bill that has just been introduced, and influences how it passes the (if it even gets picked up at all by the Assembly). Moreover, to speak, members must seek the presiding officer's recognition. The presiding officer may call on members as they please, and may therefore control the flow of debate. As chief executive, the Chancellor designates Operators (the heads of the Assemblies) to manage executive policy, and spearheads national security and defense as commander in chief.
  • Finally, the Chancellor is assisted by the Chief of Staff and the Secretary. The Chief of Staff, known as the power behind the throne, selects, structures, and supervises staffers; negotiates between the Chancellor and Operators; controls the flow of people to the executive; manages information to and from the Chancellor; and dictates who sees the Chancellor, what they see the Chancellor over, and for how long they see the Chancellor. The Chief of Staff is a gatekeeper, often meeting with executive officials and staffers in place of the Chancellor, and being the first to report directly to the Chancellor over their findings. On the other side of the aisle, the Secretary coordinates the policies of ministries and agencies in the executive branch; supervises the development and governance of the Operators and Assemblies; prepares material for discussion in cabinet meetings; presents the Chancellor's bills to Congress; relays Congress' bills to the Operators; and ensures compliance within the executive branch. These are the two most powerful positions within the People's Republic after the Chancellor, although the Secretary is often tapped as the Chancellor-in-waiting.
• Demographics: While commonly understood as a city-state, Averrium is more like a megalopolis◊; an urban cluster of roughly adjacent metropolitan areas and their respective city halls. As a result, they have close to 100 million inhabitants, many of whom were refugees, immigrants, or fugitives who sought asylum from persecution. Averrium's population is largely dominated by Aura Users of various cadres: the Hunters, the Evokers, and the Armigers, along with a corridor of Cullivers who were naturalized citizens, but de facto segregated (as were all other cadres from one another).
• Culture and Society: The real power within the People's Republic rests on the Praetors, who are political bosses running patronage systems and political machines; they scratch your back in exchange for your support. Their influence in Congress, sports, government, business, and other aspects of life elevated them into virtual oligarchs. To get anywhere in life, you'll need to work for a Praetor at some point in time, although their power is not infinite and they need to maintain that support constantly (no austerity or tough on crime laws, for example, in exchange for relatively little regulation that lets them do blue collar crimes).
• Military: The Ranger Wing is a paramilitary, law enforcement, special operations, and homeland security force founded by Lakkan Neuthor, the first Chancellor; who commissioned the volunteer service using the pre-Republic guardsmen as a basis. The Ranger Wing combines policing and security with military and intelligence, along with Spec Ops. For the longest time, the Ranger Wing was marginalized by Aden Vyrese's consolidation of power; her usage of bossism and patronage led to her establishing ''de facto'' private armies to the Praetors (or bosses) who gained power through her system. Freesia Dreyvor, the incumbent Chancellor, sought to transfer influence back to the Ranger Wing by centralizing her authority over it, thereby undercutting the Praetors' own private armies as a result. As the Ranger Wing combines policing with security and military, it is the de facto armed forces of the People's Republic, although many resent the idea that it is under the Chancellor's direct control.
• Foreign Affairs: The People's Republic of Averrium was co-founded by Senator Freesia Dreyvor of Cessair, along with Administrator Enyallu Waseya and Deputy Administrator Eschemi Hasidic (both of Ream). Both Cessair and Ream, its nominal allies, underwent crises that tore apart the fabric of society, so Averrium was largely alone in the world stage (since they were rather isolationist). It is a bitter enemy of Skuurnur, to the point where Chancellors Vyrese and Dreyvor both waged a Cold War against that juggernaut; Mmuerun, the third Chancellor, issued a detente in between Vyrese and Dreyvor's administrations, and remains firmly opposed to conflict with Skuurnur of any kind.
• Role: It serves as an example of how easy it is to subvert a democracy, while escalating tensions with Skuurnur and disrupting the Balance of Power in the world. Despite chaired by mostly well meaning people, their hatred of Skuurnur helps to plunge the world into a Cold War conflict that threatens world war.

edited 17th Jun '15 2:49:48 AM by Serocco

Yeah, I was reading my stuff again and I noticed that they're literally tied to the natural world—a river-spirit is a Cloud Cuckoo Lander because his river is so meandering, and the antagonist uses his deer-skull mask as a weapon to gore his opponents. Then there are the fact that predatory animals are often high-ranking in the military because I figured that they already kill to survive, so that gives them an edge from birth. So yeah, they are technically egalitarian in the sense that they don't have human gender roles, but they also hold to Might Makes Right in a very animalistic way.

Edit: As for the indentured servitude, it's not like they're power-hungry slave owners who want to sell EVERYONE into slavery—it's more like they live super-long lives, so many of them haven't caught up to how Society Marches On so fast in mortal cultures.

Plus I wanted something that would keep away any romanticized notion of medieval culture, and not-quite-slavery would do it.

edited 17th Jun '15 4:07:35 PM by Sharysa

Double-posting because holy crap, so much stuff to comment on! Unfortunately I'm not too political, so that chunk of your post is basically a foreign language to me, but I wonder of the logistics: How can a couple of decades manage to produce a megalopolis from a town of refugees and indigenous people, even with allied countries throwing money at it? Because even with all the people in place after a few years, you'd need at least a decade or two just to develop the place well enough to be considered a city, let alone establish a reputation as a powerful city-state.

Is there a futuristic/magical method of building that enables much faster architecture? Assuming not, "they built up the city over twenty-odd years and spent another two decades building up their reputation and economy" would be more feasible. After all, that's how normal metropolises grow.

Also, is it a landlocked country or is it on the coast? Just wondering, because you didn't mention a navy (or I just didn't spot it), but your army terminology HEAVILY implies an air-force (using "wings" for the different branches). Given the refugee-heavy roots of the population, it would be hard to get refugees safely and quickly to a landlocked area unless they have affordable air-travel. (Also, having that many people airsick would NOT be fun, so keep that in mind.)

Alternately, it should be by a large river for the necessary boat travel as well as providing water for millions of people. And I mean "Mississippi River" large, because that river is where they invented steamboats. A river that could support millions of people would have to be a couple of miles wide (parts of the Mississippi are seven miles wide), not just a couple dozen feet.

There's a reason the two examples you got for megalopolis are 1) on the coast, and 2) on an island nation where EVERYWHERE is close to a coast. Ships are really good for transporting masses of cargo and masses of people for much cheaper than air or land.

edited 17th Jun '15 5:36:41 PM by Sharysa

It's a coastal megalopolis, Augury is the main method used for the country, and it became a megalopolis within two decades after they obtained Augury. Are those fine?

Yep, that's a lot clearer.

Who's turn is it to be critiqued? Can I post a nation?

I think everyone's been critiqued already, so I'll be posting my own:

Name: The Enigma State

History: Their history is difficult to determine, as it's almost impossible to tell apart their education and propaganda. Officially, their political ideology was formed by the prophet-princess Ira Mankato, who began following the Dark god/Satanic Archetype. However, her father didn't like her Religion of Evil, so he knew he could never let her rule. So, he locked her up in a tower, guarded by an Archangel.

However, a person named Adrian Delmore came and saved her, carrying a demonic sword, slaying the Archangel and freeing her. And so they've been spreading chaos and destruction happily ever after.

Government:

The state is something of a Mind Screw at this point (it heavily falls into horseshoe theory). In theory, they're anarcho-communists. In practice, they're a totalitarian empire designed to maintain and spread anarchy.

At the municipal level, there usually is almost no government. Vigilante gangs maintain order. However, the "Revolutionary Army" is what truly holds the nation together. They make sure nobody gains too much power (aside from themselves, of course). The Revolutionary Army is controlled by an enigmatic cult.

Most property is "rented", like a library book. For example, if you want to borrow say, a pocket calculator, you go to a rental store, and you could rent one for a few days before you have to return it. They have no true currency, but something they do have is "Rental Points", which are used to rent property and cannot be traded among individuals.

In order to own property, you have to take a "loyalty mark", which, while expanding your rights, makes someone eerily uncritical of the state. Most people do not take it. Naturally, the secret police and state sec are required.

They occasionally hold lotteries where they select healthy adults to be sacrificed to their Religion of Evil. This is considered to be every citizen's duty (even an honor), and actually surprisingly not terribly unpopular.

"Heretics" in their society are usually sent for re-education by the revolutionary army, and executed if they do not "rehabilitate". People caught worshipping the god of Zion are unpersoned.

However, things are not all bad. The revolutionary army only operates in cities that appear an a map. Small, rural settlements tend to be far nicer, often to the point of being more or less Arcadia (the main character even admits they're a nice place, even if it's not his cup of tea).

Culture:

They're intended to be an antithesis to Zion. For example, darkness and light switch places in their symbolism (dark is peaceful and nice, but light is harsh and judgemental). Likewise, they don't find their gothic Skull Motif to be creepy at all. In fact, they hold the bones of the deceased to be sacred objects that bring good luck.

Citizens of Enigma tend to be shy towards outsiders that they haven't warmed up to yet. They tend not to understand the concept of private property, and are prone to stealing stuff from people who are unaware.

They don't usually form nuclear families, instead they have a "it takes a village" mentality. It's the considered the job of the general public to take care of the local children. Likewise, they don't marry very often.

They are generally taught not to "rock the boat", and repress advanced technology. Also, though many of them know better than to believe the propaganda machine, they rarely question it openly.

Military: The revolutionary army is composed mostly of conscripts led by "Loyalty Officers". Loyalty officers exist to execute any soldiers who express dissent. Their army is supplemented with the undead, who are used mostly as a diversion. Their tactics are often a combination of Soviet Russia and Imperial Japan of WW 2.

Higher up from the Loyalty officers is the Nephilim, who are the State Sec. They're half-undead cyborgs who are very much The Dreaded of the setting. They also help fund criminal gangs and terrorists.

Foreign Relations: Their official goal is to "dissolve national borders". In practice, this goal is basically indistinguishable from global conquest (they want the world to unify as one, but only under their terms). They fund criminal gangs and terrorism to help them achieve their goals. They are generally considered a rogue nation.

They are in a bitter cold war with Zion, which is slowly heating up (they fight proxy wars against each other, and occasionally even have border skirmishes. Conflicts between intelligence and black operative groups occurs off the record).

Cultural Inspirations: 1984's Oceania, Anthem, the New United Nations of the Christ Clone Trilogy, and the Collective Evolution Movement are all inspirations. The song Imagine was also a big influence, I wanted to deconstruct that sort of utopia.

edited 30th Jul '15 11:16:57 PM by Protagonist506

Sounds like hell, ha ever wonder how these really crappy nations can even survive without just imploding on themselves?

• Full Title: United Kingdom of Kara-Vil

• History: Kara-Vil is an old nation, with a history dating back about 700 years. The nation began as the small city-state of Kar, a democracy composed of elves and humans that had traveled to the area from their original residences. The land was peaceful and times were good, until, one fateful day, armies of the large Y'aesr Empire led by Sala and Sil of the Anandil dynasty marched towards them from the south. The Empire sought Kar's rich lands and convenient place as a archipelago that could make a thriving port city. The state was quickly seized and recognized as the port of Vil, and remained that way for about 200 years. Eventually, the Y'aesr Empire would grow too large for their own good and would begin to buckle under its own weight, over the course of 50 years nationalistic feelings blazed in Vil and relationships between them and the rest of the Empire strained, resulting in a long and brutal rebellion. The humans, werewolves, and dwarves enslaved by the Y'aesr joined the city-state of Vil in the rebellion, with the war lasting on and off for 30 years, until the Orcs of the Kairo desert to the east aided the rebel states with their powerful military. The war continued for another decade until the Y'aesr Empire, now with a plummeting economy from the war and the Anandil dynasty wiped out, retreated, granting Vil and surrounding city-states independence. The nation would formally reorganize into the nation of Kara-Vil. A short skirmish erupted between Kara-Vil and the Orcs that would prove the nations strength. The nation would grow in power and some rebellions would lead to things such as the Human Equality Movement, the establishment of the High-Elf Council to override the absolute monarchy, and the reorganization into the United Kingdom of Kara-Vil in which all provinces have a voice. The last major war the nation was involved in is referred to as the Great War today, primarily between Kara-Vil, Uton (the great Orc Empire), Atlantante (a powerful human nation), Thall (formally the Y'aesr Empire), Aule (Dwarven empire), and many other smaller nations. The war was long and bloody, 30 million estimated casualties, and heavily strained relations between Kara-Vil and Uton for the next 13 years. Kara-Vil has since economically recovered.

• Government: Kara-Vil is a constitutional monarchy, with one constitutional monarch determined by the previous monarch (making it often hereditary), with a council of 50 individuals to control the power of the monarch.
  • The monarch is the high commander of the military, decides upon whether or not war is declared against other nations, and must sign off on laws before they are put into effect. The monarch is always a male, pure-blooded elf.
  • Under the monarch is the High-Elf Council, made up of powerful, elder elves. There are about 50 seated members of the council. They enforce the law, and limit the monarch's power by being able to vote on certain decisions, such as declarations of war. The council is also split into two different branches, 25 members each, one dealing with foreign affairs and the other with domestic policies.
  • Under the council are the governors of the 25 provinces of Kara-Vil.
  • Under them are the mayors of the different cities.

• Demographics: Kara-Vil is a large country of about 150-200 million people. Humans and half-elves make up the majority, with about 80 million. Next are elves at about 50 million. The other 70 million are comprised of vampires, werewolves, dwarves, and naga, with werewolves being the most numerous.

• Culture: In the past, Kara-Vil was highly discriminatory against non-elves. Elves were the majority and had the most potent magic, along with wealth. Races such as humans were downtrodden from their history as slaves and weaker form of magic. Dwarves were seen as immigrants and trespassers, half-elves abominations, and werewolves and vampires were killed as nothing but monsters, while Giants were seen as non-sentients. These sentiments were forced to change once the nation reached the edge of a revolution. Relations would, luckily, smooth out more in the next 170 years. Elves still have the most power, but humans and half-elves are now the majority and steadily moving from their class as second-class citizens. Jobs and education work in conjunction with magic, with mages working aside non-magical beings, often doing the heavy lifting. A notable example with education is the New Way City Academy of Magic, that admits both magical and non-magical students and has many classes specified to whatever element a mage may use. Despite social change, things are not perfect, with giants still treated like second class citizens, as well as vampires and especially werewolves. These issues have resulted in many werewolves being homeless and living in shelters, while powerful vampires spawned dangerous crime families.

• Military: Kara-Vil has a powerful military, rivaled only by the military of Uton and Atlantante. Service is voluntary in peace-time, although during war a draft may be enacted. The military has five main branches:
  • The Army: Composed of the regular citizens, making most soldiers humans or half-elves. The army utilizes the idea of combined arms, with regular infantry men often serving in units composed of infantry, mages, grenadiers, medics, technicians, and tank drivers. The military has the formation of the average army, with the highest rank being marshal, although only during wartime, with the highest peace time rank being general.
  • Navy: Similar in composition to the Army, the navy is massive, naturally for an originally coastal nation. The navy is the most powerful in the world, matched only by Atlantate's. Many naval cruisers have a set of water mages to handle leaks and the occasional hull breach, fire mages in the engineer room powering the engine and shuffling coal. The Air Force is a branch of the Kara-Vil navy, with many destroyer class ships housing planes and air mage battle suits. The highest rank is admiral of the fleet.
  • Peace Keepers: The domestic military force dedicated to enforcing the law and keeping the nation safe from domestic threats.
  • Mage Force: Military branch composed of the most powerful mages. The Mage Force is small compared to the army and navy and is mostly comprised of skilled elves as well as only the most powerful human mages. The Mage Force act almost as a branch dedicated to special forces operations and are rarely used.
  • The Royal Guard: Smallest of the branches, made up of extremely powerful elves that act as the Monarch's security. Unlike the other branches, the royal guard is mostly hereditary, with the position passed down to the most powerful member of each family.

• Foreign Affairs: Kara-Vil has a very strained relationship with Uton, due both to their history, levels of power, and particularly The Great War. In regards to Atlantante, the nation originally had a strained relationship with the country being made up of deserters, although they now have a more relaxed relationship and regularly trade with each other. Relations with Aulë are relatively good with Kara-Vil getting most of their ore from the nation. Kara-Vil has several other allies with smaller nations but is mostly neutral with most.

• Technology Level: Comparable to the 1940s, except Kara-Vil is more advanced in some regards, such as prosthetics and medicine/biology.

• Role in the Story: Main country in which the story takes place.

edited 27th Jul '15 9:38:52 AM by OmniGoat

Very cosmopolitan. While humans seem most numerous, the elves control most of the government, and there is discrimination up the ass. Not sure if I like the idea of elves again being arrogant assholes, but if humans are also xenophobic, then the overall structure of the kingdom makes sense.

• Full Title: Requiem (an Eclipse concept).
• History: A masked revolutionary, known as Scimitar, sought to not only derail the Balance of Power, but degrade and dethrone the Powers That Be, thereby freeing the people from the tyranny of the state and the corporations that are enriched from it. Enlisting the aid of various fighters under a single revolutionary banner, Scimitar formed a paramilitary corps that seeks to overthrow all kingdoms, republics, federations, confederacies, empires, guilds, unions, and all other organizations controlled by the various Aura User Cadres. Scimitar initially emerged during the Cold War with the Anti-Aura Skuurnur.
• Government: As a paramilitary organization, the hierarchy is very simple - Scimitar is the commander in chief, forgoing an official title due to the Red Baron nature of his name. He lacks ultimate power, however, as he needs consensus from his fellow Auriers for whatever decision that isn't strictly militarily.
• Demographics: Since Requiem is not a nation, its "demographics" largely consist of a set of warriors who came under the command of Scimitar. The amount of Auriers numbers around 100,000, at the very least.
• Culture: Scimitar often preaches about "Year Zero," an ideal that discards everything in current society in exchange for a revolutionary-minded replacement. In addition, Scimitar identifies the geopolitical rivalries between the Aura User Cadres as the system to topple. In a stroke of genius, Scimitar created a new strain of Aura Users named Auriers, who have unique Auras and powers through those Auras that are not characteristic of any of the Cadres. Through its revolution, Requiem seeks to anchor its policy of New Order onto the world; namely, the overthrowing of the states within Requiem's reach and the installation of Aurium (the Auriers' post-revolutionary dominion). Auriers typically dislike their brethren in the Cadres, and there is a hint of supremacist thought among several Auriers, due to the general idea that they are the most "evolved" of all Aura Users.
• Military: Auriers comprise the entirety of its membership and armed forces; the average Aurier is Primarch-level. Auriers are divided into various battalions called Theatres, each led by a commander called Auryors.
• Foreign Affairs: At its troubled inception, Requiem maintained soft ties with the criminal underworld in order to stock itself up in the Black Market, arms, and funding. As it transforms into La Résistance, it instantly formed hostile ties to every other Primarch in the world as well as their nations; even the Cullivers view them negatively, seeing them as a menace to society.
• Role in the story: Requiem is La Résistance, and it really kicks off as a small-scale crew that gets involved during the Cold War with Skuurnur; quickly gaining traction as Private Military Contractors, just before they elevated themselves into a powerful third party as La Résistance.

edited 30th Jul '15 3:10:59 AM by Serocco

If it's more of an organization or political movement than a nation, then why submit it to a nation-critique thread?

• Full Title: The Free Republic of Zynobia.
• World: Muttra, a Gaslamp Fantasy world.
• History: Once a nation of peaceful people who contemplated the world's ills and how to solve them, Zynobia suffered a deeply humiliating occupation by the Pichiyav ("bastard elves"), which drove them into militancy.
• Demographics: Zynobians are mostly human, but they tend to be taller and more muscular than the average human. Some people also say that they have catlike noses and pointed ears. It's considered rude to mention it. A large number of Zynobians live overseas, particularly in the Scattered Continent (basically, the Muttra equivalent of North America) - many Zynobians end up overseas during the Liberation, and find out that they either can't or don't want to go back.
• Culture: Zynobians tend to be very serious and devoutly religious, following a somewhat strict faith that strongly supports social justice and vehemently opposes exploitation (especially slavery; among the atrocities inflicted upon them during the Pichiyav occupation was mass enslavement.) Their attitudes can be quite liberal on some issues while being very conservative on others; homosexuality and transgenderism are tolerated, for instance, but miscegenation is frowned upon. Because religion is so ingrained in society, fanaticism is a constant risk, and thus government allowed for the establishment of the Liberation, a sort of missionary movement that sends the more zealous folks overseas to burn off their zeal through knight-errancy. In addition to keeping the hotheads out of the country, the Liberation also helps to advertise to the rest of the world why messing with Zynobia is a bad idea.
• Military: Zynobia has a large standing army with a near-universal draft. Most of the nation's military activities involve dealing with bandursas (giant bear-like beasts that prowl the unsettled regions within Zynobia's borders) or the "lobster knights" (an invasive species of giant bug-like creatures that the Pichiyav brought to Zynobia during their invasion.)
• Economy: Zynobia's economy is basically socialist, with most of the nation's industries being controlled by the government.
• Foreign Affairs: Zynobia is still technically at war with Kralluk Kurnoz, the Pichiyav homeland, though it's a very cold war, as both sides long ago realized that an outright war between them would probably destroy both nations and anyone unlucky enough to stand between them. Their sole real ally is Gioria, a tiny island nation that used to be a slavery hub before some unlucky slavers accidentally beached their ship on Zynobia's shore. The rest of the world tends to give Zynobia a wide berth, not wanting to get caught in the conflict between Zynobia and Kralluk Kurnoz.
• Role in the Story: Zynobia is the homeland of my main character, Nioba, a former Liberator who washed out and ended up in the city of Baystone on the other side of the ocean.

edited 15th Sep '15 8:35:24 PM by StrixObscuro

Well, I wanted to convey a nationalism once they grew to become an empire, but that's a very rough draft. I'll have to redo it eventually.

Zynobia seems very interesting and well thought out. It's especially nice to see a fanatic nation that's mostly fanatic about what we'd consider good things- adds some depth and makes room for a lot of interesting grey-on-grey conflict. I also like how their missionary system is set up not as a "bringing our glorious culture to the heathens" deal, but more about letting the crazies loose where they won't hurt anything important. That does make me wonder about the logistics of the Liberation though. It's obvious from the concept that the government doesn't care too much about the natives in the first place if they set this thing up, but considering how pro-liberty they are I feel like they'd have some kind of oversight in place to make sure the Liberators weren't oppressing people. Unless they take more of a "got mine, up yours" view on their beliefs? Just me nitpicking here, I think you've got a pretty solid nation going on.

Zynobia is skirting with the problems of multi-culturalism that are seen in works like District Nine and Ghost In the Shell. Lots of good story fodder there.

edited 17th Sep '15 9:59:38 AM by TairaMai

• Full Title: The United Earth Government.

• History: A planet called Sol III to the rest, Earth’s current government was founded when a company found an alien spaceship buried under the ice on Europa. Soon the United Nations gathered all the various governments together in the quest to explore space. Soon several colonies and nations tried to break away. While Earth was reunited, several colonies banded together with the help of the alien Cay Empire and the Dow Hegemony.
  • At the present time, the United Earth Government rules dozens of colonies and a united earth. They are at an uneasy peace with the Cay Union and the Southern Cross. After a devastating war where several worlds changed hands, a Joint Security Area keeps the peace between Earth and it’s former colonies who make up the Southern Cross. The Cay Empire became the conquest hungry Cay Union. A government that has it’s eyes on Earth.

• Government: The United Earth Senate is the main legislative body, each colony has two votes . Earth and Mars having one each as a compromise when Mars tried to break away. The President is the chief executive and commander in chief of the Earth Defense Force. The Secretary General is both the vice president and president pro tempore of the UEG senate. The executive branch is made up of the Department of Defense, Department of State, Department of Health, Education and Welfare, the Labor and Commerce Department, Department of Justice and Security and the Department of the Environment and Public Works (EPW). The United Earth Court of Appeals is made up of over 100 judges, the ten most senior are the Supreme Court of The United Earth.

• Culture: Many colonies have “little Earths”: neighborhoods that are made of the ethnic and national groups that settled the colony worlds or populate space stations. The influx of aliens had seen towns and cities develop “Alien Sectors”, with seperate (some say inferior) sewage and utilites. Alien and human communities have had a rocky relationship, the fact that certain species are ‘’banned’’ from Earth is a sticking point.

• Military: The Earth Defense Force was billed as “The Best the United Nations has to offer”. The Earth Defense Forces are the military commands charged with the defense of Earth and it's colonies. They are split into the Ground Forces Command and Space Forces Command. The Colonial Defense Forces Command is the reserve, charged with the colonies and on some worlds, runs all law enforcement and public health. What sets the EDF apart from other militares are the bio-andriods. Transhuman, Cyborg “Robot Drones”. A CPU based on the human brain inside a synthetic body powered by a fusion battery. They could eat, grow and most importantly think like a human. However they are tougher, faster and stronger than any human. Even the cyborg supersoldiers couldn't fly fighters or fight as long as the bio-droids. Bio-droids can serve as “enlisted” or pilots in the space forces, they can command only in the EDF's Ground Forces. The Space Forces have nuclear weapons and most humans are very uncomfortable with giving an AI authority to launch nukes. Humans, cybernetic “super soldiers”,bio-andriods and those aliens living in UEG controlled space can serve in the EDF.
  • The Defense Dept. runs the Military Intelligence Agency (with bio-andriods and cyborg agents) and the State Department runs the smaller Department of Intersteller Affairs (also known as the Skywatch). Skywatch agents are mostly human

• Foreign affairs: The State Department has it’s hands full with raiders, pirates and several “client” states that the Defense Department manages to keep the Cay and Southern Cross off balance. State had been trying to negotiate a formal peace treaty with the SC, mostly because they are former colony worlds, but the last war saw EDF ships bomb several SC worlds from orbit and the Cay almost make planetfall on Earth. Currently they have several Skywatch agents and contractors monitoring the peace in the Joint Security Area.

• Role: The Federation in the story, For all it’s faults, Earth tires to be Fair for Its Day and the Big Good. The EDF has a core mission of We Help the Helpless they inherited from the United Nations. State suffers from Bystander Syndrome due to the focus of the Cay Union. Many ship captains do try to be a force for good. Colony worlds can be anything from Steampunk Wretched Hive to Crystal Spires and Togas (sometimes both). Earth was bombed by the Cay in the last war so the populace is fixated on re-creating “old Earth Architecture” with mixed results.

Edited by TairaMai on Jun 29th 2018 at 12:59:37 AM

If I may join in on the party...

I like it. A balanced nation, and a plausible one, given the parts of the setting you gave. Only two things popped in my head as I was reading about it: 1) two Senate members per colony? I'm not sure if that's not too little to represent an entire planet, although this of course depends on how many people live on one and how many planets there are. Wouldn't it be fairer to have some kind of one-representative-per-x-people system? And 2) why are Skywatch agents human? If there is access to high-end technology to create superhuman cyborgs, why stay with vanilla human for high-risk tasks?

The idea is (out of universe) invoke the Roman senate and that, given the diversity in-universe, two senators per colony is a compromise.

The idea of the Skywatch being mostly human is that they have to operate in the "civilian world", often with diplomatic cover. So humans (or human looking aliens) can blend in as a "Terran Merchant". The military intelligence agency is more SEAL Team Six than James Bond.

A six foot tall combat bio-android with six eyes would kinda ruin the ambience of a state dinner.

edited 17th Sep '15 10:25:56 PM by TairaMai