WMG / Team Fortress 2 Classes

As a Wild Mass Guessing subpage, all spoilers are unmarked. You Have Been Warned.

For guesses on the Pyro, click here.

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The ages of The Team.

• Scout: '68: 23, 72: 27. See Track Terrorizer.
• Demoman: '68: 27-28 '72: 31-32
• Sniper: '68: 30-31, '72: 34-35
• Spy: '68: 42-43 '72: 46-47
• Heavy: . '68: 40-41 '72: 44-45
• Engineer: '68: 44-45 '72: 48-49
• Soldier: '68: 42-43 '72: 46-47
• Medic: '68: 62-63, '72: 66-67
• Pyro: ?

Regarding the above guesses:

• Scout's age is confirmed in Team Fortress Comic #6 by Spy (disguised as Tom Jones).
• For Demo, his mom says he's halfway to retirement. Since retirement age is 60 at the time, he's about 30-ish, give or take a couple of years.
• We actually have a pretty solid age for Sniper: Pauling says that New Zealand sunk 40 years ago, and Sniper was just a crawling baby when he escaped with the rocket ship a decade later. So, Sniper is almost definitely 30 or 31.
• Spy is indeed Scout's father - being in his 40's leaves him at an appropriate age for mom-banging. He comments that he was young - too young to handle bringing up a child.
• Heavy's family was sent to a North Siberian gulag in 1941. He went there with his entire family, so he was probably under 18, but he is shown to be at his adult size when he was escaping the gulag. So, he was just about 17 at that time. That would make him 44 in 1968.
• If Engie is really the super-genius that the game makes him out to be, he could be younger. Engineer was employed by RED/BLU in 1965 and worked ten years in Texan oilfields, and if he was 18 when he started working in the oilfields, that would make him 31 in 1968. But that would only be possible if he was studying for all 11 of his PhDs while working in the oilfields. If he got his PhDs while not working in the oilfields, he's at least 38, but it's quite likely he's in his 40's.
• For the Soldier, you need to be 16 to join the army, and being American, he wouldn't have thought to enter the war until Pearl Harbour kicked in. So suggestions are that Soldier was about 16-17 when he headed to Europe, probably arriving sometime in 1942. The likeliest reason for being turned down was mental instability.
• There's a lot to suggest that Medic is the oldest of the mercs. It is also implied he was in action during World War II. Perchance he made the deal even as he was being chased out of his home town, in order to survive. In the crazy world of TF2 you'd need to be an adult in order to sell your soul to the devil. This suggests he's at least 66 by the time of that comic. This would have placed him as born in 1906, so he would have been a child during WWI, but not participated. However he would have been 26 by the beginning of WWII; that's already old enough to have gained his medical licence and lost it.
• Why even try to guess Pyro's age?
• A mild comment (that doesn't help anybody) - In the later years of WWII, when both sides were running out of cannon fodder, the enlisting age dropped. And then both armies stopped asking for solid proof of age at all. There were reports of boys aged 14 being enlisted.

Illiteracy WMG...

Keep in mind that 'knowledge' (ie the ability to create a bomb or assemble a gun) and literacy are not the same. Keep in mind that magazines have pictures and people who are illiterate have been known to fake literacy for extended lengths of time. Keep in mind being 'illiterate' doesn't mean you can't read at all - one person may simply have markedly lower literacy levels than another. There are nine mercenaries. Two have been confirmed as either illiterate or with significantly poorer literacy levels. Three have occupations or abilities that absolutely necessitate reading. That leaves four other mercenaries to choose from. Two of these are illiterate, whether you like it or not.

• Soldier
  • Soldier has repeatedly been seen attempting and failing to read. According to an advert written by the Bombnomicon, the room-mate of Merasmus is 'an idiot who can't read', which is most likely Soldier. Soldier is the first confirmed illiterate.
• Scout
  • Scout struggles with a children's edition of the scripts of "Ghost DA", reading the words out loud. He actively fails to read a Mann Co. crate during "The Naked And The Dead". Miss Pauling urges him to 'read faster'. On this basis, Scout is a 'functional illiterate' who can read short words and sentences given time, but has difficulty beyond the basics.
    • Or dyslexic.
• Pyro
  • In "Ring Of Fired" we see the world through Pyrovision again. Pyrovision distorts people and sound, but it does not seem to distort the written word. They burn books in Teufort. And in "True Meaning" Engineer is reading to Pyro. Pyro is a 'likely'.
• Demoman
  • Demoman seems pretty bright sometimes, but by process of elimination and the fact that we haven't seen him reading so far, puts him high up. He's simply smart and sane enough to not draw attention to it. Demoman is a 'likely'.
• Sniper
  • In the Sniper/Spy update Sniper has apparently written a letter to his parents. He also reads an advert for Jarate and sends away for it - although this is a Mann Co. advert itself. Sniper is an 'unlikely'.
• Heavy
  • Heavy is said to have a PhD in Russian Literature. It's possible he may not be able to read much English, but it's unlikely that this has resulted in him being classed as one of the illiterates by Valve/Miss Pauling. Heavy is an 'unlikely'.
• Spy:
  • Spy can speak 12 languages, making it almost impossible for him to not be able to read at least a few of them, and in "Expiration Date" is shown reading off the blackboard to Scout. Spy is highly unlikely to be illiterate.
• Medic
  • Medic has lost his medical license (which would be a German medical licence anyway). That means he did once have one. In "The Naked And The Dead" he re-reads his contract with Satan. He has designed much of his own tech. Medic is not illiterate.
• Engineer
  • Engineer is said to have 11 PhDs and reads and writes blueprints for guns. He has been seen reading to Pyro. He is the least likely of any of the nine mercs to be illiterate.

The Scout is...

• ...of mixed heritage. He was born in the Bronx, but his family moved to South Boston. Hence his accent. He had to develop his skills at running and fighting in order to survive in the face of discrimination, as the Scout is a Red Sox fan.
• ...the grandfather of Ellis . The Scout got to know Engineer's daughter and after finishing his job as a mercenary he settled down in Texas to be with her. His son moved to Georgia, where he met Ellis's mother. Besides, the family resemblance is pretty obvious.
  • Alternatively, he could be Nick's father.
  • This isn't possible since TF2 and all other Valve games exist as games in the L4D universe (Ellis even acknowledges that TF2 is a game in their universe), but then again, it could be possible that L4D and TF2 take place in the same universe, and the conflict between RED and BLU was made into a game years later.
    • This can be kind of possible since Portal and Half-Life take place in the same universe.
    • In the catch-up comic Saxton Hale refers to TF2 as a documentary video game so it seems that a game was made even before the war ended.
• ... the father of Ness from EarthBound. Where do you think Ness's dad got much money if he just works making hamburgers? Ness's SMAAAASH hits are clearly inherited from his father's ability to BONK enemies into submission, as are his PSI powers; the Scout's double jump is a form of levitation. Going further with this theory, note how Ness is the slowest of the four playable characters in EarthBound. What does the Scout take pride in? His Speed! The Scout himself used to be slow as a child, and is embarrassed that his son is suffering the same problems as he did.
• ...the son or nephew of Donnie Donowitz. Bonus WMG: Combining this with Word of Tarantino results in Inglourious Basterds, Team Fortress 2, and True Romance occuring in the same universe.
  • Given that Donnie is likely from Boston, given his Fenway reference, and their similar attitudes and love of battin' people's faces in, yeah. Though I'd guess uncle-nephew for them.
• ...the past self of Goddard from TimeSplitters Future Perfect. If the Scout from escaped one of the maps in 1968, the year the game takes place, he could have served in The Vietnam War, like Goddard. They both have some similarities.
  • They wear similar hats, wear dog tags and have rolled-up sleeves
  • They use similar weapons, like baseball bats, shotguns and pistols. (Also, it would make sense for him/them to learn how to use a variety of weapons later)
  • They are conceited ("You got the real deal right here, baby!" vs. Almost all of Scout's lines)
  • They look eerily similar
• A victim of sexual abuse of some sort, likely when he was young/er. Problems in school, relationship problems, hostility and aggressive behavior, self destructive behavior, and promiscuity(Other symptoms might be present without our knowledge: low self esteem, depression, eating disorders, self cutting, drug and alcohol abuse{Though, it IS the 70's}, early sexual activity, and thoughts of suicide). Maybe the 'painful memory' of his father isn't the kind we would rather think.
• Adopted. Well, the BLU Scout, at least. The RED Scout is RED Spy's real son.
• SCOUT IS BOO!
• An alternate universe version of The Batter from OFF
  • Alternatively, he and his brothers are The Batters children. In the official ending, The Batter is sent to the TF2 world, where he remarries to Scouts mom, and so on.
• Able to eat as fast as he runs. Seven older brothers? Three is enough, thank you- the dinner table must've been a nightmare.
• He has seven brothers and one sister.
• "... dyslexic. He can mitigate it somewhat, but not when under stress or shock.

The RED Scout is a Red Sox fan from Boston; the BLU Scout is a Yankees fan from Brooklyn

No wonder they hate each other.

Scout suffers from a severe Inferiority complex

He has incredibly low self esteem as a result of him being the runt of the litter, disappeared father, and his superior older brothers soaking up more of his mother's attention, somewhat like Ron Weasley. The only thing he could train himself to do better than them was run and play baseball, so he takes far too much pride in those abilities because of it. This is also why he is constantly proclaiming his superiority to others- he is desperately reassuring himself.

• Very Plausible. Chances are also high he's been diagnosed with Hyperactivity Disorder, Tourette's Syndrome, mild Aspergers or possibly Social Anxiety Disorder. If his team mates know any of this, it could explain why the team puts up with his antics to a point. The others likely have disorders which are known to the team as well-it would explain a lot about how the deal with each other.

Scout is Actually french

Noting the high possibility that spy is scout's dad, Let's think for a moment, that scout's mother, is also french. the pornography of scout's mother in meet the spy was of the moment that caused scout to hate spy, discovering what sex is after seeing spy and his mother "Do it". it ruined scout's childhood, making him the foul-mouthed, arrogant, immature ass we know[and love] today. the reason scout has a new yorker accent instead of a french one is actually scout's failed attempt at imitating someone from Boston, in which his family[including his brothers mentioned in his bio, his mother and spy.] moved to from France. mainly due to said interruption that ruined his childhood. in reality, scout has a french accent and does still know some french, but tried to forget it.

• Half-french.

Blu Scout and Red Scout are twins

Red Spy is shown to be in a relationship with Blue Scout's mother, and in the sequel to "Ring of Fired", Red Spy shows concern for Red Scout's mother. While it wouldn't be impossible for Spy to have gotten around to both of them, it's more likely that they share a mother, and being twins explains both the resemblance and why both can be "the youngest of eight brothers".

Scout is in training

• He's a common sociopath and criminal like the rest of them, really. He was offered the job, and he took it simply because "Wow, growing up to be a famous mercenary would be really cool!" Now he's living and working among 8 other psychopaths and growing up to be more and more deadly.

Scout doesn't know his father and...

• Scout is the only brother who doesn't know his father - all the other brothers have the same father and know who he is, but Scout is the one brother who doesn't, which doesn't bode well for family relations when you're the odd-man-out all the time. No wonder he was always feeling left out.
• Scout's mom told him his dad was dead. In "Blood In the water" he states "He is dead. It is a painful memory. Of a thing that actually happened. To a person neither of us have ever met." His mom said that to him and he's repeating it for his own sake, even though he's not sure. Suspiciously Specific Denial, anyone?

Scout is actually Jeremy Fitzgerald.

• Let's look at the facts...
  • Scout's first name is Jeremy, which is a good start.
  • The animatronics were equipped with facial recognition software, and were trained to attack any criminals within their database. Scout already has his own mugshot within the newspaper.
  • Scout is scheduled to die on, or at least, meet God on December 4, 1987. Even if the actual bite was on or at least around November 13rd, this still leaves room for Scout to die of injuries at least within a month, which considering how he was able to come Back from the Dead within the second issue without any medical aid, is a strong possibility.
    • For further interesting evidence, Phone Guy from the first game has made remarks about how the bite Of 1987 that follows.
  Phone Guy: I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?.
  • In conclusion, Scout has taken up a job at the location of the second FNAF game, got harassed by the animatronics due to his face being a part within their criminal facial recognition software, got his head bitten off by one of the animatronics during the day shift and was hospitalized for around a month before his body finally succumbed to injuries.

Scout actually did witness his father's death.

But they live in a universe where respawning is canon, his father is a spy who is capable of disappearing, faking his own death, disguising himself as someone else (including Tom Jones), and generally eluding capture/death. There's any number of explanations, really.

The Soldier is...

• A supporter of the war in Vietnam. The thought comes from the gunboats. The reason the Us entered the war, was because US ships were attacked in the gulf of Tonkin. What were they attacked by? Gunboats. The US used Gunboats to enter into the war. The soldier uses the Gunboats to get into combat faster and easier. (figured this needed saying since no one else has said it. Anywhere.) It's possible he bought his way to Vietnam (Army still won't accept him, thus he's still a civilian.) and went on a killing spree again. He likely then was hired by RED/BLU, who were impressed by the amount of killing he could achieve on his own.
• Actually a mercenary veteran from WWII. His "War buddies" we see are actually pictures of his now deceased friends from WWII. He's forgetting the names because as we know, the soldier is quite unhinged. He's quite desperate about forgetting about them, and has to constantly reassure himself of his military past to not forget about salty pete and the rest of the gang. It would also explain why his killing spree lasted until end after the war. He was extracting revenge on the krauts for his friends.
  • And has also been a Mercenary in 'nam, for obvious Soldier-based reasons.
• Saxton Hale's son. Soldier couldn't join the US army because he's actually Australian.
  • This is also why Soldier's accent is completely non-regional. He's just doing a ridiculously exaggerated imitation of an American to hide any hint of Australian.
• Canadian/Born on a foreign army base. He couldn't get into any branch of the U.S. military because they wouldn't believe his fake ID, which was the image from a "We Card Under 18" sign with a wallet-size photo of himself glued on. He wanted to get into the U.S. military so he could be in a real military, and kept it up into the 1960s so he could actually fight instead of guard anything with the word "peace" in. He calls the Engineer "Canadian" either because he considers Engie no different from a draft dodger or because they actually hail from the same small town in Manitoba. He doesn't know the Army accepts Canadians. Or he could be from China, given his obsession with Sun Tzu. All he knows about American is via second hand information, especially war movies.
• A woman/intersexed. She wasn't allowed in the army for medical reasons. That medical problem is being the wrong gender. She was always a fairly masculine child, and was extremely violent, and going to war seemed like something she would really enjoy. Nine years of heavy smoking, screaming at enemies, and inhaling gun powder have turned her voice gravelly and manish. To her, only civilians can be women, which is why she got so panicked and upset when apparently Demoman called her a civilian- she thought he'd figured it out and spilling her secret.
• Of German descent. Soldier's bio says he's from the Midwest, which has a high population of German immigrants. He changed his name to avoid suspicions of treason, and because he honestly did want to fight for America.

• Actually called Jane Doe: At least the BLU Soldier. His parents were not only "clever" and decided to give their child a punny name but wanted a girl as well and were very disappointed when he wasn't. He doesn't have to assert his masculinity or anything by changing his name or using an alias, but he still wants people to know he's not a woman. That's why the sign on his apartment window says "Mister Jane Doe".
• Right about a surprising amount. Sniper's name is actually Barble Bapkins Mundy, Engineer is Canadian, and the Pyro's name is in fact Joe(sephine?).
• A Poet. Many soldiers wrote war poetry in WW2, but Soldier, noticing a distinct lack of 'War Is Glorious' poetry, decided to fill that market himself. He isn't very good at it.
• slightly savvier than he lets on... Soldier KNEW about the robots coming! His Halloween costume wasn't just a fun getup, it was his disguise if he needed to escape! He tried to tell the other team members, but no one believed him because, well, he's Soldier. Only when Spy got into the TOP SECRET room and saw the photos for himself did he realize the robots were coming.
  • He also knew that the Sniper was a New Zealander, not an Australian. Odds are, the man, who has been shown to make working Rocket Launchers out of Garbage, is such a scavanger that he get's information on the other Mercenaries and things going on around him this way, making him even more dangerous then the Spy who's job is to get information!
• The Soldier believes wearing the headgear of a fallen warrior imbues him with their power. Explains his large number of anachronistic hats.
• The Soldier was turned away from the war because the Announcer had a hand in things. The Announcer saw his potential as a deadly mercenary and denied him entrance to the war as a test. He passed.
• The Soldier is transgender. That's why his first name is Jane, he was rejected from service and went to Europe alone. He only became crazy later, from PTSD, brain damage, and lead poisoning.
• The Soldier is a real crazy homeless guy He's one of those homeless vets you sometimes see on the street. Except he's heavily armed from Army Surplus, and isn't missing a leg. And in the same way that Saxton Hale automatically approved his offer for building the Decoy map because he offered to do it for free (http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/File:Decoy_contract.png) , he was automatically approved as a Team Mercenary because he offered to do it for free/for his country/civic duty/whatever. This also explains why he lives in such crappy lodgings and shares them, when the other guys earn millions of dollars.
• The Soldier comes from the future Some of the responses while he wears the Tin Soldier set would mention it, but this means nothing as it can easily be a part of his disguise. But when you think of how BLU Soldier reacted when he thought RED Demoman called him a civilian... He did mention taking part in three tours of duties. Using the exact name of anti-robot campaigns introduced in Mann vs. Machine Update. Everyone thought he was just being Crazy-Prepared and his obsession just included believing in robot apocalypse. The truth is he knew of it all along because he witnessed it. That's why his costume for Halloween is a robot and how he thought of Decoy map - he just saw it working before he was sent back in time. As for how he ended up in his past - he either was chosen by somebody to prevent the fall of Mann. co or just pissed off Merasmus again. The magician was able to send him along with his teammates to 10th century, so sending one person back for at most a hundred years should be easy for him.
  • This explains why he opened those robotic crates in the Death of a Salesbot comic. Why would the soldier try to prevent a war? The future engineer did warn the mercs to not open those crates since it would lead to the Hat Wars of the 1990s, but soldier encourages them to because he WANTS to fight in the Hat Wars of the 1990s.
• ...A Liar. While he's clearly unhinged, his "Nazi killing spree" that lasted until 1949 is a cover up - in reality, while he was never officially part of the US or any Military, he instead joined up with the Polish resistance against the occupying Soviets, which also means Poland is a free country and Germany might not be east/west divided. He gets along well enough with his team's Heavy because the Heavy's father was killed in a Gulag - it's possible they even fought together. It being a Nazi Killing Spree was a cover up to lessen the punishment and deflect blame from the West should he be caught - eventually through the years and lots of explosions, he concussed himself to the point where he honestly believes that he was killing Nazis. Both the Medic and Heavy know otherwise, but refuse to tell him because they know regardless, he was fighting oppression.
• Psychic- In addition to some of the above theories about future time travel or savvy. There was a reason he wanted that bucket the instant he saw it. He knew securing that bucket was the only thing that could prevent someone from challenging him to an ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.
  • He also created the bread monster to make the Scout's date go better.
• The son of Team Fortress Classic's Soldier. He wanted to fight in WWI but couldn't get in any branch of the military, and was extremely disappointed in his son when the same exact thing happened to him in the WWII era: fighting a pointless war. The only difference? His son doesn't seem to believe (or want to believe) his war is pointless.
• The Soldier was rejected from the military due to being underaged (and a really bad liar). Even if he was 15 when the war ended, he'd be 38 by 1968, and if he was 17 he'd be 40, which is approximately how old he appears.
• A Reality Warper unaware. This explains why the Team Fortress 2 universe is often nonsensical and contradictory to itself; Soldier rewrites history based upon his own demented musings. Not only does it affect the universe on a large scale, it also affects smaller-scale happenings, such as being roommates with a wizard, the ability to rocket jump, and responsible for many successful (and one failed) infiltrations of a robot army with a cardboard costume of a robot.
• Doesn't just have PTSD. Some people theorise that Soldier went crazy because of WW2, and it's hardly unlikely, but one of the things he's mentioned more than once regards holding in somebody's guts. In Unhappy Returns he mentions "Nobody holding their guts in their hands while their best buddy tries to stuff 'em back" and in Cold Day in Hell he assumes Scout's had his guts knocked out by a bear and has a speech all prepared. Seeing his best buddy having his guts blown out by a rocket and trying to stuff them back in, is the story that really finished off Soldier's sanity in Europe. Heck, in "Meet The Pyro" we end the movie with the BLU Soldier clutching at his own guts.
• The reason the ASVAB test was implemented. He's exactly the sort of lunatic and retard that test is designed to keep out.
• an ancestor of Jayne Cobb from Firefly. I've always like the theory (my own, and with little proof to back it up) that Firefly and TF2 exist within the same universe. Think about it though; they both have the name "Jane" (although Cobb has a "y" in his), they're both strong and not the brightest, and they both have funny hats.

Did Mercenary stuff in France, and Russia before he reached Poland

• He arrived in France with no money so he started selling himself to the Resistance and that's why he took so long to get to Poland. The French Resistance could be pretty nasty sometimes...
  • He also did Mercenary things in 'Nam before he was brought to Australia.

Just went to Germany and killed people

• Soldier wasn't old enough to join the army. So he went to Germany and just started killing commies anyway. He didn't get the memo when the war ended. He mentions being in POW camps, but these were in fact asylums that he broke out of multiple times until he was shipped back to America.

The Demoman is...

• ... born on November the fifth or Bonfire Night, aka Britain's 'excuse to light fireworks' day.
• ...Related to, or is, one of the Stabbington Brothers. If you glance at Demoman's concept art, this is not as crazy as it first sounds.
• ...secretly a master spy. Because he is the least likely person possible to be one.
• ...adopted and raised by the Demoman of Team Fortress Classic and his wife, though he never knew about this and it promptly became inconsequential upon his blowing them up.
• ...colourblind. As well as being one eyed.
• ...missing a leg. He has a prosthetic when not using the Bootlegger.
• ...a robot master. He has the name style.
• ''...a dwarf: Hence the drunkenness.
• ...a immortal, hence all of his sword weapons having decapitation kills.

The Heavy is...

• Related to or is General Nikolai Alexandrovitch Zakharov Both are bald, heavyset Russians. General Nikolai Alexandrovitch Zakharov once stood unflinching under a hail of automatic fire, earning him the nickname of the Man of Stone, while the Heavy is capable of taking large amounts of damage from multiple weapons and moves slowly.
• Ocelot Russian? Check. Rotary Gun? Check. Can kill people by pointing fingers and saying "bang" Check. Man, he's really let himself go.
• Jorge-052s ancestor
• related to Sinistar. Heavy: "I am Heavy Weapons Guy" "I live" "run, cowards" "hide, cowards" Sinistar: "I am Sinistar" "beware, I live" "run, coward" "beware, coward" Also, while he never explicitly says it, the Heavy does hunger.
• suffering from gigantism. That's why he's so inhumanely large.
• more affected by his past than he lets on. His dad was killed fighting the Communists in 1941, his mother and sisters were sent to a gulag, and it proceeded to burn down, all the soldiers dead. Let's say for argument's sake that Poker Night at the Inventory is canon. He was apparently hired by RED because he killed many soldiers. Heavy was the one who burned down the gulag, killed the soldiers, and because it was his first taste of trauma and death, was somewhat shaken by it. It'd explain why he won't talk about it with The Director and keeps changing the subject back to Sascha. It'd also explain his attachment to Medic. He's really afraid of death and is in denial about respawn.
• A member of the Orlov family. Because Orlov Sandvich.
• ... related to FPS Russia (Probably his grandson).
• ... related to Oleg Kirrlov.
  • Look at Oleg with a minigun, quite the resemblance no?
• In hiding. Thus why he was surprised to get the call, and was trying to avoid what he would think of as Gray Mann pretending to be miss Pauling, with similar cases being the Medic and the Engineer. Being the 3 classes most likely to be backstabbed makes one paranoid after all.
• ...the face of Team Fortress 2 because he's the least terrible at his job.
• Not actually Russian, but rather either Belorussian or Ukrainian - probably the former. His surname ends with -ski, which is not typical among Russians but not very uncommon among Ukrainians and quite common among Belorussians. Bronislava is likewise a Polish, West Slavic name, which Belorussians and Ukrainians were more likely to use. That might also explain his love for food - his family was likely victim to the famines of the 1930s (the Holodomor affected not only Ukraine but also Belorussia, Kazakhstan, and parts of Russia).

The Heavy suffers from Delusion Companion Syndrome.

In which victims believe inanimate objects to be sentient. The way he talks to and fawns over his gun isn't too strange; lots of gun owners take great pride in their weapons and give names to them. No, the companion here is the Sandvich. Not only does he talk to it, it seems to talk back to him ("What was that, sandvich? Kill them all? Good idea!"), or at least only he thinks so. He sings songs in its praise, warns others to "run from the sandvich", as if it were alive and malicious, and even says things like, "Sandvich and I are coming for you!". Note he put "sandvich" first, indicating that the sandvich is in control.How did he get these delusions? Brain damage via food poisoning- a sandwich full of bologna and cheese, With all the sweat and filth of battle staining it, is more than likely to harbor nasty parasites.

• It's gotten worse. He's now convinced a bar of chocolate is his Sandvich.
  • Not anymore, since an update made quite a few lines Sandvich-specific.

The Sandvich is...

• ...PEOPLE! That mysterious meat slice? IT'S NOT "JUST HAM".
  • The Heavy still talks to it. Perhaps that Sandvich WAS a loose cannon but a good cop. Hell, the proof has been on Youtube for quite some time.
    • Even more so when you consider that the description on Pyro's toque blanche(You're today's theme ingredient!) implies him to be a cannibal. Well, if one of the team does it...
• '...made by the Medic for the Heavy.'' The "V" in "Sandvich" could be used to represent the accent of either character, and it's a healing item. This is a little bit more likely if the above WMG is true.
  • Well, Medic made Heavy a giant Sandvich on one of the Christmas cards, so maybe you're on to something.
  • The Heavy from Nerf NOW!! recently got an upgrade to his Sandviches from an earlier storyline. Seems appropriate.
• ...a sapient sandwich who worked as a mercenary for the Administrator. However because of his attempts to make friends in the battlefield, the Administrator decided to get rid of all that he loved and put him in the fridge, guarded by the BLU Soldier and Scout so he couldn't escape. This was until the RED Heavy got inside the base and ate him. Now he is getting his way out of hell to avenge his own death by killing the Administrator.
• A bagel Spy.
  • Baguette, surely?
• Related: Meet the Sandvich was taken from the perspective of the Spy's head in the Medic's fridge. It would explain why we couldn't see what was going on outside.
• The tenth class. This is why it has its own 'meet the' video Someone on the team secretly intercepted and killed the guy, making him into a sandvich to hide the body.

The Engineer is...

• ...Radigan Conagher. In Meet The Engineer, he says that the sentry was "designed by me", but in Loose Canon, we can clearly see blueprints for the sentry in Radigan's workshop. Furthermore, we know that Radigan built a third Life Extender after building the first two (i.e. after working out the bugs in the original design), which he is presumably keeping to himself. He's pretending to be his own grandson to avoid suspicion from his employers. Also, the life extender explains how he managed to earn 11 PH Ds and work for 10 years in the oilfields.
  • Which makes you wonder whose corpse was in the grave Blutarch dug up...
  • Which would explain why the Gunslinger works, It is a better version of the Respawn machines that Radigan made earlier....instead of bringing you back to life though, it makes you stronger, and have more youth, which explains why the Engineer looks so young, and the +25 Health bonus on the Gunslinger itself.
• ..a rokuro-kubi. These are youkai in Japanese folklore who are humanoid and are able to stretch their necks.
• compensating for childhood torment by playground bullies. Engie's favorite "toy" was the sandbox. He liked to build undefined sand structures, the larger the better, but the bullies were always there to destroy them. So he started building stuff that kills people. This is also why he reports every destroyed building: It brings back unhappy memories.
• ...Dr. Horrible's father. Mad science obviously runs in the Conagher family, as illustrated in the Engineer update. Furthermore, while the events of Sing-along Blog happen in the late 2000s, TF2 takes place in the late 1960s. Billy (whose real last name is Conagher; he trained himself out of an accent so he could be taken seriously) took the plans for the freeze ray from Dell but modified the required element from australium to wonderflonium. However, he has strained relations with his dad for not only using, but improving sappers to use on vans. And moving on from this...
  • Captain Hammer grew up reading Saxton Hale comics and stuffs tiny Homewreckers in his gloves. His outlook is about the same as Saxton himself, and notice it only takes one punch to destroy the controlling device (which is made of metal) but Dr. Horrible survives the blow?
  • It could be that wonderfluonium is not an element at all, but a form of solid magic, and types like Merasmus got ahold of it and thus possess magic abilities now...
• ... Short because of his Grandfather's Australium Usage. If you look at all the classes, you see that the Engineer is the shortest of them all, Shorter then even the Scout and Pyro! The reason I believe he's short is because of his Grandfather. Now, we know that Radigan Conagher was originally a normal sized intelligent man who could build Life-Supporting Machines without Australium, but when he used Austrailium, he became a muscle bound Australian man with an even bigger brain and a short temper, much like all Australians (He also gained their kick-ass Facial and Chest hair). However, we have no indication that his son, the Engineer from Team Fortress Classic, used any Australium. I believe that Australium introduced in one generation severely degenerates future generations without them using Australium. Radigan looked like an Australian, TFC's Engineer looked like a normal person, The modern Engineer has a large brain, short and weak physical body, deranged and almost suicidal ideals (If cutting off your arm for a robotic one isn't suicidal, I don't know what is), and a form of Sadism. If the Engineer has a child, odds are it could be even worse...
• ... a turncoat We already know he helped build the robots(see the heads in Engineer Update Trailer). He used Radigan's files on the life extenders built to track down Gray, or was approached because of his engineering skills, updated Gray's life-extender, and is working directly with him. That's why there isn't a robot Engineer, why the robots are blue instead of grey, and why the characters looking at the maps in the secret rooms (Spy, Heavy, Scout) are giving Engie the side-eye on the Team Fortress website banner.
  • "Let 'em cry 'Dirty Traitor!' Y'all will understand it later..." Engie could be working to screw over the entireity of the Mann Family messup while ensuring the financial liquidity of his friends, playing Gray against the Admin while he follows his grandfather's maps of Australium Caches...
• ...Construct-it Conagher, father of Fix-It Felix. Felix has the accent and everything.
• ...Able to utilize spiral power. Where else is that infinite metal and ammo from dispensers supposed to come from?

The Engineer's PhDs are in...

1. Biological engineering.
2. Biomedical engineering.
3. Chemical engineering.
4. Civil engineering.successfu
5. Computer engineering.
6. Electrical engineering.
7. Mechanical engineering.
8. Military engineering.
9. Mining engineering.
10. Nuclear engineering.
11. Reverse engineering.

The Engineer's PhDs aren't that way at all

• Going by him identifying that Kickasso, and the way Valve likes to mess with us, the Engineer indeed has 11 PhDs, and he is indeed a genius, but he's no more officially qualified to build and design things than the Medic. All these, for example, are also acceptable in research equivalents for science:

1. Doctor of Arts (D.A.)
2. Doctor of Canon Law (D.C.L.)
3. Doctor of Church Music (D.C.Mus.)
4. Doctor of Fine Arts (D.F.A.)
5. Doctor of Music (D.Mus./D.M.)
6. Doctor of Philosophy (D.Phil/Ph.D.)
7. Doctor of Hebrew Letters (D.H.L.)
8. Doctor of Social Work (D.S.W.)
9. Doctor of Business Administration (D.B.A.)
10. Doctor of Modern Languages (D.M.L.)
11. Doctor of Physical Education (D.P.Ed./D.P.E.)
    • So yes, he's a very learned man and he sure knows his way around a tool-box, but it's all from his family and ten years in the oil-fields and his own constant experimentation with rapid-fire weaponry designed by others. None of these guys are exactly sterling on the morals ladder, and perhaps Dell isn't quite as good at his job as he lets people think on his resume.
    • There are sentry gun blueprints on Radigan's wall, the gunslinger and minisentry were Radigan's design, and the teleporters are from a company called Telemax, if the logo on the side is any indication.
    • This actually has increasing likely-hood - some people are so before-their-time that they design things before the technology and materials to make them exist. In the Catch-Up Comic (which takes place before the games) Blutarch digs up Radigan's body with the blueprints and gives them to the Engineer. Radigan knew these things would work but the tech to build them didn't exist. Dell finally had the resources. He's a brilliant man but not as brilliant as his claims. Even though he upgraded things like the Sentry Gun and gunslinger, everything he makes was originally designed by others.
      • Further Backstory tells us that the Mercs work for Mann Co. because Mann Co. hires the lowest bidder as a matter of course.

The Engineer can play any song on a single string of his guitar, like this.

The Engineer is the "Someone Else" Wilco was talking about in "Someone Else's Song".

After the events of Team Fortress 2, Engie became a musician, and turned More Gun into a song about that "other" kind of gun. In a way, Wilco's 1996 song really does "sound like someone else's song/from a long time ago".

The RED Engineer's name is Mac

This way, both Engineers are named after a brand of computer.

The Engineer is the former CEO of Frontier Engineering.

• He inherited it. And then he failed with it, which is why he has to do Mercenary work for jerks like Mann Co. Sure, he's a genius. It just so happens that... well, he's a terrible businessman. We see in the "Invasion" event that the BLU Engineer lives in a barn in the cornfields of Texas. It wasn't until Pyro had to take charge of the company that the company became successful.

The Engineer knows how to operate locomotives.

Thus, The Engineer is also an engineer!

The Engineer is the last one of the Sex Criminals

• If you assume that every one of the Mercs has to be at least one of the Drunk, Defective, Sex Criminal or War Criminal... well, almost everybody else has their problem. Medic was a doctor in the Wehrmacht, Demoman is clearly a drunk, Scout can class as a sub-normal and is apparently a virgin, Soldier and Pyro are defective, Heavy tortured a bunch of guys to death, Miss Pauling mentions dealing with a DNA test for Spy, and Sniper has a real thing for Bangkok prostitutes and sheep... but we haven't pegged Engineer's label in there. Y'know, the guy who lives in the cornfields of Texas? Gotta be careful of the nice guys, right?

Not all of the PhDs the Engineer has are worth the paper they're printed on

• Everything the Engineer does in-game is basically Percussive Maintenance, and the supplementary comics claim he didn't actually invent any of his stuff. The Engineer might be really clever but eleven PhDs? C'mon. He's lived long enough to earn *one* legitimate PhD and maybe a handful in related fields, but the rest were either honorary degrees, arranged by the Announcer to bribe him into working for her and not anyone else (he could easily get better work elsewhere, but she guarantees respectability), and/or bullshit degrees granted by fly-by-night schools who'll give a degree to anybody who pays tuition. That's why he's always announcing everything and the Spy insults him as "Laborer".

The Medic is...

• just plain crazy. Valve gave us his origin in the Two Cities update and for the most part it doesn't look like they're going with some kind of Anti-Nazi sympathetic origin but more like a German kind of Victor Frankenstein approach; he's crazy and being crazy runs in the family. It's a tradition to become a doctor; he was trained for it. Thus, the Medic isn't a Nazi, not because he's Anti-Nazi, but because he didn't like being pushed around by those jerks.
  • Possibly supporting the Jewish theory: Listen to "Archimedes" and tell me there isn't a Klesmer/Yiddish vibe going on.
• The description of the Medic's Mountain Cap indicates he may have been a field surgeon in the Wehrmacht, the Germany Army, during WWII, which means he must've been at least in his early 20s during the war. He didn't follow Nazi politics but he'd just ran off from his hometown and needed to disappear. Plus there were all those free patients and organs just lying around.
  • Personally, this troper supports the Holocaust survivor theory, but instead, believes the Medic was a German doctor who was kind to his Jewish "patients." Operating on them gave them a quick death and saved them from the showers. However, when he was forced to operate on his DAUGHTER (that'd imply, that his wife was was Jewish), he snapped. He operated on a very high ranking SS Officer, and ended up removing his skeleton and going on the run. Then, after reading a German translation of Frankenstein, he went insane, made a real Frankenstein's Monster, set all the Jews free, and they destroyed all the Nazis in the camp.
  • The order you recount the theory makes it sound like he snapped because of Frankenstein.
• ...gay. Remember, the Nazi's most famous racial prejudice was against Jews, but they also sent romanis, the mentally and physically disabled, and homosexuals to concentration camps. Thus, why he was never a Nazi, as he agreed with their views on human life, but not on gay rights.
• ...romani. European romanis generally look like white europeans, so that's not out of question either. Medic got into medical school by pretending to be non-romani, was stripped of his lisence because of racism once the truth was revealed, and continued as a Back-Alley Doctor until the Nazis took power and sent him into a concertration camp. He survived because the Nazi "doctors" sometimes used medically trained inmates as their "assistants", and this was also what drove Medic insane. The skeleton he removed had belonged to that specific "doctor".
• ... a Nazi Hunter.
• ...a former colleague or student of Dr. Richtofen from Nazi Zombies. The Medic was secretly sent to work with Element 115 with him, but after Richtofen's disappearance (In other words, getting stuck fighting zombies with the very people he experimented on in various locations and scenarios) and the death of Dr. Maxis, the Medic stole their research on the element, worked out the problem of creating a Zombie Apocalypse, and used it to create his own Medigun technology. Given that Element 115 seemed to have healing or regeneration properties, it's plausible, and it can explain why all the other classes are so psychopathic- The Medic's continued use of the Medigun on them alters their sanity just like it did to Tank, Nikolai, and Takeo.
  • Unfortunately, as a side effect of working with him for some time, along with the possibility of being exposed to Element 115, Richtofen's own erotic (and insane) behavior completely broke the Medic's mental well-being, and turned him into the Mad Doctor we see now. They both obsess in causing pain, dislike their allies, and they're both more than capable of combat. Funny how they both ended up fighting alongside a Russian and a psychotic American soldier. Though.. how the world managed to quickly recover from the zombie infestation as though nothing happened is anyone's guess.
  • Alternatively, the Medic IS Richtofen. It's hinted that the Medic did in fact do some experimenting during the war, and the Medic is known not to be a Nazi - not because he considers them evil, but because they weren't going far enough. Why would someone like that make the Medigun? In absence of 115, Richtofen instead works on harnessing what Australium can do - such as letting people regenerate things that would have normally killed them - because he's more interested in finding out what the side-effects are. Who's to say extended Medigun exposure doesn't cause cancer or somesuch?
• never joined the Nazis, nor was he ever sent to the prison camps.
• the Civilian. Meet the Medic's timeframe is set just as he joined the team. The Heavy, The Scout, the Engineer, the Sniper and the Demoman were originally assigned to protect him so RED could gain exclusive access to his research. The BLU mercenaries, meanwhile, were looking to capture him to make use of his research. Both teams had the goal of finding a way to extend their employer's lifespan further, and the doctor's research in healing chemicals and an efficient way to disperse them was just the right lead to follow. The BLU team, not particularly frightened by the REDs, sent out a team of Soldiers to overwhelm them and take the Civilian to Blutarch. After the Civlian and his bodyguards are cornered in a hospital with ample supplies, he decides to make himself useful and act as their behind-the-lines doctor. However, when Heavy comes in with a chest ripped open by a rocket that never went off, he sees an opprotunity that changes his life forever.
• Formerly employed by HYDRA. After all, the Nazis could be so tediously dogmatic about their political ideology, often to the detriment of scientific progress.
• originally from East Germany, and a practitioner of Soviet Super Science. Why else would The Heavy, who's probably old enough to have seen the results of Nazi occupation firsthand, be prepared to work with him?
  • Probably the Medic fled Germany because of the Nazis, went to the Soviet Union, since it was a Communist country and he was confident, that they would eventually free Germany from the Nazis. He learned Russian, joined the Army or the Army intelligence to develop Super Weapons for the Red Army. He also met and befriended Heavy, who was a young volunteer back then. But, in the end, he grew dissatisfied with the Communist regime and also by the lack of Scientific possibilities (probably his Scientific progress was hindered by political meddling, not really uncommon back then). The problems got worse and worse, for him and Heavy, so in the end, he had to flee, taking all his stuff and Heavy with him (including the skeleton of some particular vicious KGB torturer) and went to the enemy of the Soviet Union, the USA (it didn't matter for him at that point, either, because he either abandoned Communism, or he thought, that the Soviet Union has betrayed Marx). The Soviets were, of course, hyper-pissed, revoked his medical license and sentenced him and Heavy to death in absentia, but they were both not important enough for the KBG to assassinate him, alternatively.
• ...rejected by the Nazis because... Nazi doctors wanted to become gods, by controlling men's lives and creating death. Medic just wanted to be human, and create gods by controlling death... Am I right, or just plain awesome?!''
• turning Heavy into a Cyborg. As noted on the Team Fortress 2 Nightmare Fuel page, listening to the new voice clips you get the impression that Medic is becoming even more unhinged than how unhinged he was previously. He's also started acting like kind of a robot fanboy, declaring that "the flesh is weak." And Heavy's voice has become a little... weird. Deeper, hoarser... and almost, dare I say... metallic? And he notes that he's getting "too old and giant for this." Maybe Medic has started turning Heavy into a cyborg from the inside out, just because he cares about him so much.
• Medic is Older Than They Look. A side effect of his Medigun research and medical experimentation on himself was that it halted or slowed his aging. Keep in mind that the Medic has inate regenerative powers, similar to Wolverine, able to rapidly recover from any wound that doesn't outright kill him. Most likely the result of experimenting on himself with some sort of super-soldier serum. That could easily have slowed down his aging process.
  • It's not implausible. Several fans have speculated that Medic served in WWI or WWII, which would put him in his 50s or 60s. However, he doesn't look a day over 40. Is he merely aging gracefully, or is something else going on?
• The person responsible for perfecting the Clone-O-Matic.
• Creating a clone army to counter Gray Mann's Robot Army. He's using his "Fancy Job" likely curing stuff like Cancer or fatal wounds for extremely rich clients, to fund a project to clone the entire team and send the waves of clones at Gray Mann. (Cue Imperial March).
• The Team Fortress Classic Medic.. The "TFC Medic" Is TF2 medic before he lost his medical license, gave up pretending not to be insane, or maybe just lost it and left, and started more overt experiments resulting in the Uber Heart and Medigun, among others such as the revive system. He was completely honest when he said he wanted to test his "Triumphs" against his "Earlier Experiments". He never said which is which.
• Based on Nikola Tesla. A brilliant, handsome, dark haired man that barely takes credit for the things he does, be it an amazing invention or just how much time he spends on things, sounds eerily familiar. Both are absolutely bonkers, have a white pigeon(Let's face it, that's what doves are), would sooner experiment than anything else and not care if they're paid to make discoveries, are men out of time, obsess over their work and spend a noticeable chunk of time away from the world around them, fix things that are AND AREN'T broken, Medic is depicted as often being tired or exhausted though perhaps not showing it like Tesla did, accidentally(Maybe not in Medics case most of the time) caused quite a bit of damage with one or more of their inventions(adios, Heavy's heart), almost destroyed things and have some rockin' hair. Medic doesn't have that glorious mustache though, bit of a bummer for him. Perhaps the medi-gun is charged by ball lightning or something...
• The fastest member of the team. In the game, Medic is the second-fastest character (Scout being the fastest). If Medic can run that fast while carrying heavy equipment on his back, it stands to reason that he has impressive running speed when not carrying the equipment. Medic could give Scout a run for his money!
• A biomedical engineer. Given the fact that he created things like the Medi-Gun and Über Implant with no indication of Engie helping him, and this being a somewhat common pre-med major, it makes sense.

The Mediguns are less "Medicine Guns" and more of an "Immune System Overclockers"

I'm mostly basing this on the use of the word "Voltage" when the Medic is talking about using the Uber device on the Heavy's heart. We all know that our brain send electrical signals to the rest of our bodies to tell it to do stuff. It's not too much of a stretch that the Medic designed a gun that speeds up the use of the "Fix the broken parts" signals or something to that effect. This overclocking also allows the patient's body to work harder than normal, allowing their body to take more bullets than normally possible (Overheal). Each respective Ubercharge is the result of each of the Medigun's use of amplifying the voltage.

The Medic is Not That Kind of Doctor

• All you need for your basic medical licence is a one-year internship, in any medical field. This could be in general medicine, surgery, psychiatry, paediatrics, anything. Once you've completed this one year past medical school, you can take a board exam and apply for a medical license. The Two Cities Update seems to show that doctoring runs in the family. Perhaps he interned for his family, and it's a frikkin' tradition to be a Mad Doctor. He's learnt everything from endless experimentation on anybody and everything during the war in camps and on battlefields.

The Mediguns are using Nanogenes.

Nanogenes are microscopic robots that are made to heal their patients. In Doctor Who they are shown to have amazing healing abilities including making an amputee grow her leg back instantly. The red/blue streams that come out of the mediguns are swarms of nanogenes. Nanogenes also enhance their users' abilities, hence the Ubercharges.

The Medic cloned his doves.

We've seen he has several doves, but we've only heard the name of one, Archimedes. Perhaps in his zeal for science he cloned Archimedes to make more doves for study, and thus they are all Archimedes.

The Medic is the son of Gustav Ehrismann.

On the map pl_badwater, the numbers 991941 are on a wall. If you convert it into a date (9/9/1941) you get september 9th, 1941. It just so happens that that's the date a German professor by the name of Gustav Adolf Ehrismann died. Coincidence? I think NOT!

The Medic is a 20th century Victor Frankenstein type

• This is a 'Too wacky for the Nazis' theory. The Medic's early history involves him being chased out of his home village of Rottenburg with torches and pitchforks in his youth, which implies that he was always mad. The town actually seems resigned to doing this - perhaps in the crazy world of Team Fortress 2 it likes being well-known for supplying the world with a 'Victor Frankenstein' type once a generation (since the other thing Rottenburg an der Laaber seems to be well-known for is a Radio Museum). Once he'd left, he managed to acquire a medical licence again by covering it up.
• This resulted in him yes, turning full-on Victor Frankenstein. We've seen in the comics that one of his approaches to experimentation is to kidnap attempted muggers and remove their brains. Once the war started he headed to the camps, or he joined the Army, for the money, the experience, and the free organs, but he had no interest in the Nazi ideals. Still, a man has to wear a uniform. The Nazis had no issues with him operating on POW at first, but they definitely had problems when he started experimenting directly on SS Officers to try and get his super-soldiers.

The Medic's full name is Ludwig Humboldt

• The comic confirms his first name is Ludwig. In the Two Cities update we get Medic's confirmed town of birth, Rottenburg, which his mad scientist family has been chased out of for generations. Most importantly, there are two important shops linked with the name - one being the Sour Milk Dairy Incorporated (a loose translation from the store named "Saeurmilch Molkerei GMBH"; Mad Milk, anybody?). A sign for "Humboldt's Pharmacy" even shows up in the preview picture of the map, right behind Medic. Among other things, it sells Baboon Hearts. Additionally, Humboldt is a German surname.
  • The Mad Scientist Disposal Shaft has 'Witches' painted on it too. Looks like the female members of Medic's family don't get left out of the fun...
  • Ludwig as a German name means 'Famous War'. Really it does.

The Medic comes from a long line of mad doctors ... on his mother's side

• Medic is confirmed to have descended from a long line of mad doctors. In Rottenburg, players will notice Humboldt's Pharmacy, which sells baboon hearts (which Medic used in his Ubercharge experiments in the "Meet the Medic" video). One can safely assume that Medic is related to the Humboldts. However, the comic states that Medic's name is Mr. Ludwig. The most likely reason is that Medic mother was a Humboldt, but she married a man who had Ludwig as a surname. Medic received his last name from his father, but his love of twisted medicine from his mother and her relatives.
  • It is true that Ludwig in German can be both a given name and a surname (like the name 'James' in English).

The Medic is secretly a mage

• The Medic performs impossible feats of healing by using techniques and technology that should not work in the real world. For example, "Meet the Medic Outtakes" reveals that his healing gun draws power from a combination of electricity, blood, urine, and sandviches. What if the Medic is secretly using magic to heal his teammates? He makes it appear that he's using technology to perform impossible healing so that his colleagues will find his actions plausible. Medic is either (1) a disgraced Son of Ether who uses medical technology to make his actions believable and thus avoid accumulating dangerous amounts of Paradox, (2) a disgraced Progenitor who ran afoul of the Technocracy, or (3) a Marauder who constructs a ridiculous but efficacious reality around himself that allows him to heal through bizarre means.

The Medic is Garou kinfolk

• The Medic is a kinfolk man whose higher than normal gnosis allows him to use a handful of Garou gifts. His Garou relatives taught him minor healing gifts such as Mother's Touch. Later, he had a falling out with his natal tribe and decided to take his supernatural abilities on the road. He makes it appear that he is healing his colleagues with technology so that his actions will seem plausible.

The Medic traded Pyro's soul for Satan's pen

In "The Naked and the Dead", Medic barters one of his teammates' souls for Satan's pen, thereby guaranteeing that the owner of the soul will spend eternity in Hell after death (or Medic's final death, at least). Medic used Pyro's soul for the trade, because Pyro loves fire. Medic wanted his teammate to be happy in the afterlife, so he arranged for Pyro to spend eternity surrounded by flames. Doing so was also an act of enlightened self-interest on Medic's part, since the destination of the mercenaries' souls will require a majority vote, and Pyro would have likely voted to go to Hell.

• Alternatively this is still mostly correct (Pyro would love it!) but Medic used Pyro's soul because he thought Pyro was the only one who deserved to go to hell.

Medic's got three lives left and won't ever go to hell

In "The Naked And The Dead" Medic mentions a 'majority stake' in his soul to Satan. That means Satan needs five out of nine souls. The trade for the pen was a quick deal to get Medic back into the field quickly to help his team and placate Satan - fifty more years and a pen, on top of whatever the original deal was. Satan now has to tempt him enough in those fifty years to get three more souls. One can only presume that those next souls will be a lot higher-priced - and he'll have more time to argue too. And that's if he doesn't think something else up.

Speculation for Medic's true backstory.

From what the devs have said, the medic is certainly not a nazi, but he wasn't exactly a brave or heroic resistor, but merely one of a long line of Mad Scientist doctors. Adding to the fact that he's Ambiguously Jewish, it's safe to say that he wasn't exactly on good terms with nazis. Here's what I believe happened: Throughout the early 30's, Medic witnesses the rise to power of the nazis as a teenager. Due to his Jewish heritage, he is barred from professional medical schools, but instead learns technique from his parents, similarly insane mad scientists. In the mid-to late 30's, the medic goes on the run after his publicized incident of removing an entire man's skeleton. Throughout the late 30's to early 40's, the medic flees to France (Perhaps meeting the spy.) and fights in the French army until its eventual takeover by Germany. He is shipped to a concentration camp, where he is offered an ultimatum to help the nazis or face death. He agrees initially, only for him to quickly and intentionally take his horrific medical experiments unto the guards themselves. He eventually uses his medical research and invents the Ubercharge, and soon uses it with other prisoners and breaks out of the camp, before fleeing to America.

The Sniper is...

• Not Australian in any way.
  • Confirmed - he's from New Zealand!

• ...using his professional standards as a mask. He tries to appear cool, calm and collected, but behind his confident demeanour is a man so insecure about himself, so afraid of failure and rejection, that he would rather live in his van in quiet loneliness than be seen as a disappointing failure by anyone else he cares about. He's never made friends. He's a virgin. His father has always disapproved of him his whole life. He convinces himself he doesn't need emotional ties to anyone except his Mum.

• Actually an Australian after all, with a mutation that makes him immune to the effects of Australium. Note how Ms. Pauling interrupts him just before he declares he's not Australian? Also, she's the one who claims to know where his birth parents are, which just so happens to get Sniper to free her. She was telling him what he wanted to hear in order to get free quickly, and lucked out when it turned out a couple existed in New Zealand who had sent a baby out on a rocket. Sniper himself simply assumed they were his parents from there, and she doesn't have any reason to correct him for now. Sniper apparently already had some reason to believe he was adopted, but there is no actual proof he's the baby from New Zealand, if it even survived the rocket. Further, the fact that his "adoptive" parents also lack the normal effects of Australium would indicate they aren't ordinary Australians either. How likely is it that he just happened to be adopted by the only other two Australians we've seen that aren't affected by Australium? Given both of them share this trait, it would not be at all surprising for him to inherit it if he's really their biological child.

Doesn't like people

• The transcript of the interview with the Sniper stated that the reason he's a sniper is because his first three girlfriends were sheep, and people ate them. And that's a shame, because he'd washed his car with them, and that makes for a very special relationship with somebody. He mentions setting up things for shooting - melons, pumpkins, wallabies, sheep. It turned out though, that though he started thinking he'd like to shoot things for a living, he found that he liked sheep, but he didn't like people, so he switched from sheep to people.
  • This is the actual canon reason that the Sniper is a psychopath.

The Spy is...

• ...a Double Reverse Quadruple Agent In his old trading card bio◊, it says that the Spy knows the byzantine details of who really runs things. This may still hold true. He could be working as a double-agent for both RED and BLU while reporting to the Administrator (he may have been the man who delivered her message to the soldier) but none of those could be where his true allegiance lies so, just who is the Spy?
• Bidwell? In "A Fate Worse Than Chess", we get a clear look at Bidwell, slim figure, distinctive eyes, elongated face, long-suffering... we also get a clear look at the Spy, who shares the shape of his face and eyes.
  • Reddy? But just how did Reddy learn about the end of the Gravel Wars? Short and fat though Reddy is, The Spy can be anything and anyone.
• ...a descendant of Silas Mann?
• ...a descendant of the unseen man?
• ...the head of SpyTech Industries?
• ...working for any/all of the above?
  • Related: Miss Pauling is Spy's daughter, and Scout's half-sister. Spy took her in, taught her well, and relies on her skills as The Mole to be his eyes and ears at TF Industries.
    • Makani posted a drawing on her livejournal of Spy with dark hair- she's since been hired, so that similarity could well be canon.
• ...suffering from Chronic Backstabbing Disorder - Oh so very check. He's a "double reverse quadruple agent," after all.
• ...Pyro's twin. Think about it. They have the same voice actor, and they happen to be the biggest counter/countered combo in the game. It's clear they hate each other from years of sibling rivalry. And if you want to explain the purse, maybe they both came from the same village Bridget was from, and Pyro was the designated girl.
  • Perhaps they were fraternal twins and the Pyro was a girl?
  • The purse is Pyro's attempt at a disguise, then?
• ...a woman. It would be damn near impossible for a woman to be hired for an otherwise all-male mercenary team in the 1950's and '60's, no matter how good she was at Spy-ness. The obvious response to being scorned in that fashion would be to invent a new male persona, get hired, and then spite your employer by never really being on their side.
  • Spy's certainly the only class to have tiny womanly—er, I mean, realistically proportioned hands compared to everyone else (including Scout).
  • When he refers to the Scout's mother as "ma petite chou fleur," notice how he uses the feminine ma instead of the masculine mon.
    • French possessives are related to the object of the sentence ("chou fleur", in this case), not to the person speaking. (Though "chou fleur" is actually masculine, so it should be "mon petit chou fleur". But that's going off-topic.)
• ...involved in the project that created Agent 47. He's very likely bald, given the snug fit of his balaclava, he wears extremely well-tailored suits to the battlefield, and he assassinates people via infiltration and disguises. Sounds like anybody else we know?
• ...a descendant of Altair Stealthiness, assassination skills, all that jazz.
• ...Lupin III Why not? Lupin lived in the time period, is at least half French, and has a pretty good track record with the ladies. One or more of the other classes work for him as well.
• ...Diabolik's teacher.
• ...Ocelot * Revolver check,
• ...Glass Joe. Maybe connected to the Soda/Heavy theory . They're both French, have all the Defense properties of cheese, and quite honestly, who would ever suspect a meek feeble wuss like Joe of being a suave, sexy badass who slept with your mother? There is a glass jaw under that mask...
• ...Leonard Cohen. Not only does he have the suit, but this troper worked for a Fancy Fedora just because of how much the ensemble fits Leonard Cohen. They both have gravelly voices that can make a woman wet. Cohen was born in Montreal, which could explain the occasional French words.
• ...an unevolved Ditto. Think about it, the Spy can shape-shift, much like a Ditto, but only into 8 other forms, as well as turn invisible for a few moments. Also note that when he bursts into flames, he burns with his original color, which a regular Ditto wouldn't, and he cant use any of the moves that his other forms have, which a Ditto would be able to.
• ...always crying in-front of rainbows. Rainbows make HIM cry, not Scout. HE used his deepest sorrow as a taunt for the scout.
  • The Pyromania update offers a Fridge Brilliance moment for this - the Pyro sees his flamethrowers as spewing rainbows, not flames. Of course rainbows make the Spy cry; they're his greatest weakness!
• ...The Scout's uncle! Spy had a brother, and years ago both of them had a big crush on Scout's Mom. Spy's brother won her over, but died not long after Scout was born. Spy hates the Scout because he's living proof that Scout's Mom fell in love with Spy's brother instead of the Spy, but nevertheless he still has a crush on Scout's mother. This explains Scout dreaming of Spy as his father (Spy looks like his brother), Spy looking up how to beat a DNA test (he doesn't want Scout to know they're related), and the photo's of Spy and Scout's mother (I guess they were together at one stage).
• ...Not actually French. He's just faking it to hide his true identity further, look cool, and pick up Scout's mother. In actuality, he has either a Bostonian, Texan, or whatever-Pyro-has-accent.
  • secretly an agent of the United States Government, sent to investigate the circumstances of the Forever War.
  • The one who stole the Australium and called the Team back together. He's currently tailing Helen.
  • ...from a French-speaking part of Switzerland. He speaks French like a Frenchman as part of his cover.
• ...Far less professional than he'd like to admit. Listen to his Un Evil Laugh and his juvenile insults. His classiness is well put on, but in the heat of battle it slips a bit.
• ...the proud owner of a classy moustache. Frenchmen are often seen as possessing thin oiled moustaches. Maybe Spy has a moustache under his balaclava.
• ...of Arabian descent. His Saharan Spy set and Assassin's Creed promotional items lend some credence here.

  • Maybe he's a tuareg and wears the balaclava because a tagelmust would stick out? Could be compined with Algerian guerilla theory below.

  • He could be also from either Tunisia or Egypt, since both are Arab countries with a lot of people speaking French (both were former French colonies).
    • He could be from Algeria, and part of the guerrilla resistance against the French during their war for independence.
• ...formerly part of a French criminal organization. Perfectly compatible with the latter one, as France has Maghrebi gangsters the way America has Italian ones. Like Napoleon Solo, he got mixed up in the international espionage game as a Boxed Crook.
• ...Scout's Mom.
• ...a Doctor Who fan. The Familiar Fez and Doctor Whoa are part of his 11th Doctor cosplay.
• ...the victim of serious burns to his face by a Pyro. Seeing as he has a distinctive profile and the mask doesn't cover much of his face, the mask most likely isn't to keep his enemies from knowing his identity but rather to hide the severe scars.
• Olivia Mann. Tavish said it himself: Spy could be disguised as anything. Maybe he really is Gray's son.
• ...Every single Spy in the game, at the same time. On both teams. He's just that good. All the terrible Spies you see are just to throw you off.

The Spy's disguise really is nothing but a paper plate with a drawing on it.

And that is enough to fool the other team.

• That's why it takes so much less time to put on a disguise compared to in TFC.
• It's also why fire renders the spy's disguise completely useless; paper burns!
• The other team all see it as such, they just pretend otherwise because they don't want to hurt his feelings.
• Or they're all insane (or stupid) enough to fall for it.

The Spy used to be someones Butler

Or rather an agent who's cover was that of someone's butler. He was assigned to monitor a wealthy Boston businessman who's company was opposed to Mann Co. With years of careful planning and monitoring, spy was able to pick off the man's heirs one by one, until only his employer was left. When he finally did that one in, he realized he forgot a disowned son who had married below his status. He shows up to find this son already dead by the hands of his exasperated wife. And that's how Spy met Scout's mother!

The Spy has Bene Gesserit training

• That's why he can be seen as just another mercenary by the other team with nothing but a paper plate for a disguise.

Guess the Spy's real name

Meet The Team

Meet the Engineer

The 3rd sentry gun that shot out missles killed 2 people at once

How else would you explain the counting machine to go from 210 to 214?

• It's the Level 2 one that made 2 kills. I heard the Kill counter click two times. Just check the transcript.

The Engineer dies shortly after the video ends.

The last shot of it zooming out on his nest to show the approaching Blu army, including a Medic and a Demoman, both on the high ground and with reasonable cover.

Meet the Spy

The RED Spy broke character before he dropped the act.

Specifically, when the BLU Spy revealed the pictures of him fucking the BLU Scout's mother. That wasn't a son finding out his mama was sleeping with the enemy.

It was a secret lover caught in the act.

Thankfully, the others thought it was the BLU Scout shocked and embarrassed about the pictures, so he managed to avoid blowing his cover.

• This is honestly more Fridge Brilliance than WMG

Wait a minute... Scout's Mom...

Let's think about this for a minute, the pictures of her in Meet the Spy show her as incredibly young and hot. And she's the mother of eight children? Of which Scout (who, according to the Track Terrorizer description, is 23) is the *youngest?* Either she started having babies at a really young age (like 15 or so), and reeeally went out of her way to stay in shape, or there is something going on here... anyone have any theories?

• She could have had Multiples on one or more occasions. Or even non-identical twins. Scout could be a twin too.
  • Of course he has a twin, there ARE two scouts aren't there?
• The picture could be from before the Scout and his brothers were born.
• The Scout seems to be from a lower-class family, which would support the theory that his mother had many children at a young age.
• Scout's mom is a whore - all of her sets of kids are from different men, because there's nothing to fuck up a lower-class kid more than their mom being the neighbourhood prostitute.
• Is also Pyro's mom! That gives Scout an extra twin and of course they joined the Mercs with their brother.
  • The Pyro WMG page suggests that the Pyro IS BLU Scout’s mom.

In Meet the Spy, the RED Spy was actually the BLU Spy with a dead ringer.

The RED Spy also had been using Eternal Reward to disguise himself as the BLU Spy. Once he was killed, he snuck around and stabbed the Scout, disguising himself as the Scout.

In Meet The Spy, the RED Spy at the end was actually BLU Spy.

Angry about getting shot by Soldier, he disguised as RED Spy to avoid repecursions for team-killing.

During the Meet the Spy video, both Spies were working together.

The BLU Spy was secretly a double liver gambit.

• It's no secret that Spies are far from trustworthy. (See his conversation with the BLU Scout.) Notice how he goes on this extensive rant on how incredibly dangerous the enemy spy is...right after he gave the BLU Scout-actually the RED Spy-back the knife without a second thought, a terribly dangerous thing to do in such a situation, even if he didn't know who the RED Spy was. The explanation was that he was planning to defect to the other team and hoped that the RED Spy was in the room. In a way, the Soldier was right.
• In addition the BLU Spy had a Dead Ringer equipped, which is why he was so easy to kill, and he escaped using his invisibility after the Soldier blew his cover.
• With the new Polycount items, something else is also possible in that it's just the same spy with 2 knives. BLU Spy is RED Spy, using a Dead Ringer and Your Eternal Reward. After getting "killed" by the Soldier, he runs off, decloaks, Uses Eternal Reward on BLU Scout, then gets his regular knife back.

In Meet the Spy, the BLU Spy knew the Scout was the disguised RED Spy all along.

The BLU Spy knows that he's on the losing team. He decides that, in order to send a message, he has to defeat his counterpart in a particularly embarrassing fashion. To start, he out-Spied the Spy, catching him mid-coitus. The woman wasn't actually the Scout's mom (does she look like someone who's had 8 kids?), but the BLU Spy showed the pictures to the RED Spy in order to let him know that he had been outplayed. The BLU Spy claimed that she was the Scout's mom to psyche him out without blowing his cover (the BLU Spy wanted to watch his doppleganger squirm for a bit). The recounting of the RED Spy's exploits was just to toy with him. Unfortunately, the BLU Soldier intervened at the last second, just before he was ousted.

• Taking this further: the Soldier was the RED Spy all along. He knew that the BLU Spy knew who he was, and was planning to reveal this information after finishing his speech, but shot said Spy immediately before he could. (This also explains why the BLU Spy died instantly - the RED Spy used the Ambassador.) When it became evident that the BLU Spy was not a traitor, he tried to send the Heavy on a wild goose chase to find the "real" RED spy, so that he could slip away with the Intelligence. However, the Scout had figured out that the Soldier was a spy by seeing the difficulty with which the Soldier had figured out the password to the intelligence room, and tried to sneak up on him. Thus, the RED Spy was forced to drop his disguise, kill the Scout - as well as the Heavy, who was now a witness - and depart with the Intelligence and the pictures of Scout's mom.
  • Then how were the Soldier and the Red Spy seen together?
  • Simple: there was another RED Spy, this one cloaked, in the room at the time. He knew that his buddy had infiltrated the intelligence room disguised as a BLU, but he didn't know which class. When he saw the Scout sneaking up on the other two, he made the same conclusion that the viewers did, decloaked, backstabbed the Heavy, and was about to do the same to the not!Soldier. At this point, however, the Scout (who never considered the fact that there might be multiple RED Spies) decided that he had been wrong in his appraisal of the soldier, and unleashed an almighty batting on the second RED Spy. The first RED Spy, the one disguised as a Soldier, displayed absolutely no gratitude and promptly backstabbed the Scout, leaving with the Intelligence.
  • No, you see the Heavy was yet another RED Spy. Everyone in the room at the time was, in fact, a RED Spy, and there were several RED Spies Cloak and Daggered throughout the room. The montage of RED Spy backstabs was actually showing the enemies that each of the spies took out on their way to the Intelligence Room (with several left out for time reasons). The only individual who was not actually a RED Spy was the BLU Spy. He never got to finish his last statement. He was going to say, "It could even be all of you," but the Soldier Spy intervened too quickly.
    • Then how is there killing noise at the outro if everyone is a spy?

In Meet the Spy, the BLU Spy had the Dead Ringer.

Shortly after the video ends, he decloaks and there's an epic fight between the two Spies; it was cut from the final video because the budget ran out.

• It would explain how he instantly gets killed by a Shotgun.

But what if the Dead Ringer hadn't existed at all? The BLU Spy would be afflicted with...

The Curse. If you touch anything^note Well, including getting hit by others' weapons but definitely not friendly objects, you'd die. And the BLU spy was hit by shotgun fire to the head, therefore, among the many EXAGGERATED ways a character can die (getting so fatally numb from touching anything that you gain a literal black line across your eyes, incineration from a small laser bolt when it should cause a small burn, getting FROZEN TODAY from a snowball when it should just feel cold at the impact point, getting electrocuted from small un-bubbled electricity when it should be a tingle) it'd obviously quickly cause Your Head A-Splode, as if his body wouldn't poof away into magic dust, which does not happen in the TF2 world explode anyway. This would of course deny the possibility that any one of us would see his eyes getting crossed off by a literal black line. Squicky and potentially disgusting detail: Whatever cross-out line the spy would have would probably be on whatever skin fragments that got peeled off his face during the shotgun blast. Ick indeed.

The RED Spy didn't kill the BLU Scout in Meet The Spy

He knocked him out and stuffed him in a closet. After all, it would make his relationship with BLU Scout's mother awkward, and he does have a genuine affection for her.

• Unlikely; after killing the Engineer and walking into the "always keep this door closed" room, he fired another shot...
• Which could have been fired at Demoman or Pyro.
• Probably the Demo (no way he'd have done so well if one of those cloak-revealing bastards were present)
• Consider this: Meet the Spy and Meet the Sniper happened together in the same 'episode'. The RED Sniper killed the BLU Scout offscreen, allowing the RED Spy to take his place.
  • Makes sense, except for one thing - if the BLU Soldier shot the BLU Spy, then how could the RED Sniper have backstabbed him?
  • Dead ringer. Both times.
  • This Troper thinks that the RED Spy didn't get a chance to kill the BLU Scout because the BLU Scout was busy on the front lines.
• According to these comics, the BLU Scout was dead by the time the RED Spy chose to disguise as him. Whether or not he was killed by the RED Spy remains unknown.
• He could just be unconscious...

In Meet the Spy, the BLU Scout wasn't always the RED Spy. The Scout was killed in the middle of the BLU Spy's monologue

This explains why was the Scout able to touch the briefcase, and the fact that he gets pissed when shown pictures of his mother. Kinda sounds like Shut Up, Hannibal!.

• So, you're saying that that's NOT what your reaction would be if someone showed you pictures they secretly took of you having sex?

The person seen in the photos in "Meet the Spy" wasn't actually the Scout's mother, but a disguised Spy

In the pictures, the RED Spy was actually the BLU Spy being a triple agent, only to find out that Scout's mother was a RED Spy, who then stabbed him with Eternal Reward, disguising himself as the BLU Spy. Then, "Gentlemen?" Cue titlecard of Meet the Spy.

Everyone was a Spy.

Soldier's gun used the Spy's Ambassador's sound effect.

• From a meta point of view, that may have been a red herring.

Scout's mom is a triplet. Her sisters are Cate Archer and Flo from the Progressive commercials.

Cate looks like Scoutmama if she decided to become a spy herself, and Flo looks as if she's cosplaying Scoutmama. It's the hair.

Spy is the Only Sane Man.

He seems to be the only member of the team without a severe mental disorder, He could even be perfectly aware that RED and BLU are the same company, but his paycheck is enough to keep him quiet.

• Hey, he kills people for money and he does it while dating the mother of one of his enemies. I'd say that qualifies for a mental disorder.

Spy's been incompetent too

• The Administrator seems to have something on everyone, Saxton mentions that people work for the Administrator because they can't get other jobs. Oh, and they hire the lowest bidder. Spy did something in his past and now he can't get better jobs. He's competant enough, but he's inferior to other spies - the ones who don't go around dating their co-worker's mothers and don't have you wondering if they're a sex criminal.

Meet the Medic

Ribs don't grow back.

Heavy had a spare.

The Demoman's eye really did grow back.

But since he never takes off his eye patch, he couldn't tell the difference.

• Or he can tell, but he keeps the eyepatch on because he thinks it makes him look cool.
• Jossed. In the comics — even though we only have Medic's word for it — the Medic did try bringing it back, but it always became possessed and attacked everyone every Halloween night.

Archimedes is the reason why the Scout double-jumps

And in general, Archimedes would aid in the aerial mobility of the Scout after being accidentally shut inside his chest cavity. To add to this, an Atomizer Scout can triple-jump but take a bit of damage, which to this WMG would mean that Archimedes would push hard against the Scout's chest. Furthermore, there is a chance that a flying dove would emerge from any gibbed Scout.

Archimedes is immortal.

Well, it's that or the doves are all Archimedes, one at a time. Considering the Medic, either is possible.

The Medigun can stay Ubered for as long as the Medic wants.

It just breaks if he uses it for too long, which explains the 12 second Uber in Meet the Medic, so the Quick-Fix can't invuln, and the regular Medigun can only Uber for 8 seconds because the Medic doesn't want to risk breaking it again.

The Medic really does care about healing, and it's not (as his bio states) a wholly unintended side effect.

Healing means he can do more things to a given patient before they die. He actually devotes energy toward finding devices that can heal (such as the Medigun, and the Medigun Prototype that was in his lab as of Meet The Medic). If his patients die on the operating table, he can't leeeeaaarrrn as much from them that he couldn't learn from slightly less fresh cadavers. Therefore, he lied about healing only being unintended side effects; they're a means to an end, but at the very least, his earlier results of healing mechanisms were fully intentional.

• He cares about his patients not dying. Healing is an unintended side effect of that. It does sound crazy, but he is a mad doctor after all.

The guy who lost his skeleton was an Asshole Victim.

It (surprisingly) takes a lot for these guys to kill people who aren't the opposite team, according to the comics. For example, one was (as far as they could tell) spying on them and the people/things that were important to them, one was a child-abducting Australian Santa, etc. We know they're psychopaths, but they have limits. Maybe the patient was a high-ranking SS member or something, Medic disagreed with what they were doing, and felt like experimenting on him was justified.

• In the BLU base on the Meet the Medic map there is actually a poster referencing Medic losing his medical license and the patients's skeleton missing. The patient was a Mr. Mann.

Guesses for which heart Medic replaced the following classes' with

• Scout:
  • An antelope's or gazelle's heart
    • It makes him speedy, and doesn't have all the blockage and rads/caffeine that years of unhealthy beverages and cheap food have given him. If the Heavy's heart exploded, how could the Scout's heart withstand the "upgrade"?
  • And I think he got the Loch Ness Hamster one.
• Soldier: Gorilla
• Pyro:
  • A dragon's
  • A Charizard's
  • Somehow, one the belongs to a Monster Clown
• Demoman: Cyclops
• Sniper: Crocodile

Heavy's heart exploded because it was full of plaque and cholesterol.

Many sandvich no good for heart health. Vodka, better, but maaaaybe not good for a strong physical heart. Scout's heart is totally fine because of all the cardio he does, and the fact that his cola has totally mutated him into a super-cool rabbit-heart-mutant thing- Erm. Because of all the cardio he does.

Medic doesn't get an awful lot of sleep.

He has rather obvious dark circles around his eyes in "Meet the Medic". None of the other classes look like that, so it must be significant. Do you know what keeps him up at night? After hearing people whining for him to come heal them all day, he hallucinates that he can still hear them at night. So think about that before the next time you spam E because it amuses you, or you like your class's voice, or it's a tic, or you've forgotten that the Medic does not hand out ammo, or...

Archimedes is a girl

Pyro supplies Medic with the bases for the mediguns

They look like modified firehoze nozzles. Maybe Pyro picks them up for him when s/he goes out to troll the Teufort fire department.

• Actually, according to the Pyromania update Teufort doesn't seem to have a fire department.

Other

Demoman has something to do with the Loch Ness Hamster

Reason for Class relationships

Spy hates Scout

In-universe: Scout is cocky, arrogant and loud, all things a sophisticate like Spy would absolutely hate.
In-Game: Scout is the fastest class, so Spy would have a hard time mimicking and backstabbing him.

Medic and Heavy are always paired

In-Universe:

• Both are stereotypes of previous American enemies ((Nazi) Germany for Medic, (Soviet, Communist) Russia for Heavy).
• Both are smart in strange ways (Medic is a Mad Scientist, Heavy is intelligent, but doesn't understand English well).

In-Game:

• Heavy is slow as hell and has a crap ton of health, so naturally he'd be the target of plenty of bullets. Bad for the Heavy, Perfect for the Medic.
• Heavies are slow, so it would be easy for Medics to cover him without loosing him.
• Both Classes are able to heal other players (Heavy has Sandvich and other food items, which serve as health packs)
• Healers naturally go for the strongest member with a lot of health and power.
• The Heavy is notable for not needing to reload his primary weapon, which allows him to keep on spitting out bullets for the entirety of an ubercharge.

Pyro beats Spy

In-Universe:

• Pyro's insanity would destroy any hope of civility the Spy has.
• Pyro thinks he's playing with the other mercs in a land of rainbows and happiness. It's possible that she notices that the Spy tends to spend a lot of time breaking the Engineer's "toys" and tries to put a stop to that.

In-Game: Since flames last longer than a single bullet, it's easier to spot Spy upon combustion, allowing the opposing team to attack him.

Spy abuses Engineer

In-Universe: Spies are known for being hackers to control and damage technology. Guess who uses technology the most.
In-Game: Engineers would be too busy most of the time to notice a Spy running around, especially since Spies can use their teleporters.

Spies Vs. Snipers Part 1: Why Spies target Snipers

Sniper Is extremely into his job. Which includes sitting facing away from the platform. Leaving them wide open to be Backstabbed.

Spies Vs. Snipers Part 2: Jarate

In-Universe: Jarate is implied to be Urine, and someone like Spy would absolutely hate being drowned in something like that, invisible or not....
In-Game: ...which would alert other people of his position, so not only is exposed by the piss, but his own screaming of disgust.

Solider & Demoman beats Engineer

In-Universe:

• Both Solider and demo are completely out there, and not at all gentle, both of them are very destructive, even without their weapons.
• Engie is very friendly and mellow, not so much with the Demo and Solider.

In-Game: Anyone who played Angry Birds knows that destruction can be more powerful than construction. Guess who builds and guess who destroys.

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