Team Fortress 2 Pyro
This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
That's right; the Pyro gets their own speculation WMG page. That's what happens when you entirely conceal a character in an asbestos suit and mask, and then get all secretive about them.
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The Pyro is
- Abraham Lincoln, Dell's relative was working on a machine to save his life, mysterious fires broke out at the White House during his presidency, and rumors have flown about his sexual orientation...
- Alternately, Abraham Lincoln being the original Pyro and the current Pyro's ambiguity are an in-universe coincidence. In actuality, current Pyro has nothing to do with the events with the Manns, and it's a Red Herring Valve are using.
- ...the Administrator's secret weapon The last two of the 'eighteen perfect idiots' aren't both Pyros, but Blutarch and Redmond Mann. The Pyro has been established as being completely terrifying in-universe, the congressmen being terrified at the prospect of his/her/its involvement wouldn't be much of a stretch.
- Chinese. The reason he wears a suit is because the Soldier would freak out if he had a *supposed* communist on the team and blow him to bits! I wouldn't be surprised if he was counterfeiting the Engineer's or Medic's technology.
- A highly intelligent Vietnamese man. He's just screwing with his teammates. The BLU Pyro is Jessica from the Mac update comic.
- Hispanic. If you listen closely to the lines, they do sound slightly Spanish. Also, they have several Mexican hats. They could be similar to the Sniper's mixed culture of Britain/Australia, in the Pyro's instance being Spain/Mexico.
- British. This explains his antagonism with the Spy, and a few of his classier hats. Underneath his mask, he sounds amazingly sophisticated. Also explains why he doesn't seem to have much of a reaction to pain (see above).
- In WW2, gasmasks were issued out to civilians in Britain. Hmm...
- Japanese. The Hadouken for one, and because it'd piss Soldier off, for two.
- This is why they're so good at finding invisible assassins — they practiced on ninjas growing up.
- There's an island in Japan called Miyakejima. The residents are forced to wear gas masks because of the high sulfur content.
- Seconded. In fact, the Pyro is a Japanese girl from Tokyo who I have named Suki Honda. She is secretly in love with the Scout, and is a total Genki Girl.
- A Jewish survivor of the Holocaust. He was severely burned in one of the 'ovens' of the death camps, and wears the fireproof suit to protect himself and hide his deformation. He also hides a Star of David under the suit. (I like Respawn of the Dead, sue me.) This explains his "rivalry" with the Medic - the best counter for afterburn is the Medi Gun, after all.
- Greg. (They do sound very similar, after all.) In the part of the Valve multiverse that Team Fortress 2 takes place in, Greg snapped and tried to burn down Aperture Science. And failed miserably because of all the asbestos. Then he got a new job as our favorite deranged pyromaniac.
- Hank Hill. His flamethrower contains propane and is made out of propane accessories. Him and Engy get along so well because they're both hard-working Texans, I tell you what.
- ...Kasumi Sindou.
- A construct similar to a Big Daddy. The Pyro is neither a man nor a woman (though it was once was at a time). The subject went through the same process as a Big Daddy and was turned into an efficient soldier. This is why the Pyro is never seen without their suit: it's their skin.
- Alternatively, with the Pyromania Update, the Pyro could be a Little Sister trained for combat.
- A Splicer. The Pyro managed to escape Rapture and get work as a mercenary. Though his physical deformities are covered by the suit and mask, her mental deformities brought on by constant splicing are still quite present. For instance, he's obviously quite brilliant with inventing things (both her flamethrower and the chemical thrower appear to be cobbled together from scrap metal and plumbing parts), but he is also sociopathic, having no remorse for burning others to death and even taking joy from it. It would also explain the Pyro's "Hadoken" taunt — it's actually an Incinerate plasmid.
- Hanz from Pumpkin Scissors. He's so cold. But he's warm when other people burn. :3
- Vaarsuvius. They're both ambiguously-gendered people fond of explosions and fire. That's all I got.
- Gabe Newell. "And my favourite class is the spy." But of course, it's your easiest target!
- I don't think he could fit into that flame-retardant suit very well.
- An Energy Being. He comes from an alternate dimension where everyone is a gaseous Energy Being, and made the firesuit to prevent himself from dispersing. (Something in his home universe prevents him from dispersing there.) His species is highly flammable, and because he's insane, he's perfectly willing to use a weapon that could conceivably destroy himself. Because he's not quite that crazy, though, the suit is fireproof. Getting shot tears holes in the suit, causing small parts of his substance to disperse. The suit has internal repair systems that seal the gaps and stop him wafting out completely. The power sources for these systems are located in the head and back, which explains why the instant kills work (the transmitted shock takes out the other power source).
- A Fourth Wall Observer. Pyro doesn't think it's a game because s/he's an Innocent Inaccurate; Pyro thinks it's a game because it's a game.
- Incapable of feeling pain properly. This struck me while I was in an idle server. I noticed the Pyro's flinch when taking damage was far less noticable than most others, and simply a repositioning of the elbows. Then I realized the Pyro's grunts don't even play that often when under heavy fire. This is why most classes are afraid of it. It's a ground troop that defuses most Spy efforts, can decimate ambush forces, plow through most defenses, overall ruin an organized plan, and it won't even so much as wince when shot most of the time… and he’s probably covered in third degree burns.
- Alternately, he’s in constant pain. Same reasoning as above, but also gives an excuse for the "harmless friendly fire hurts opposing Spy" tactic: Pyro pyrizes indiscriminately because s/he thought the flamethrower was below everyone's baseline of pain (see also the WMG that Pyro thinks it's all a game, under "the pyro is actually deaf" above), and his teammates are used to it by now which reinforces the idea. The Spy for your team is not used to it from being disguised as an opposing team member and needing to stay out of the fire to keep cover, and/or RED and BLU use different chemical propellants that each have additional damaging side effects (since opposing team members are still affected by your team's flamethrower and vice versa).
- Has no immune system. You just never see hir running to a hospital to be put on masses of antibiotics and antivirals after the suit is damaged because none of the battles last more than a couple of hours.
- A Quarian. Building on the "no immune system" theory above, it is entirely possible that the Pyro has a weak immune system because he isn't even from this planet. Unfortunately, some aspect of his crash-landing damaged the synthesizer that most Quarians seem to use in order to be heard past their masks, leaving him unintelligible, if he's even capable of speaking English. He's playing the mercenary in order to get enough to repair his craft and return to his flotilla.
- Keith. Like Keith, the Pyro has extensive experience in starting fires and making them much worse. He spends all his time in a full-body suit, which is an excellent idea if you're in the habit of recieving third-degree burns over 95% of your body. The Pyro also seems to be relatively unfazed by life in a constant warzone, a trait you'd expect in a man who's cheated slapstick death numerous times and survived being bombed by the army. Given his previous work history, being a flamethrower-wielding mercenary is probably the closest Keith's even been to having a steady paycheck.
- Mr. Bean. Try to imagine the how the Pyro would handle everyday life. Would it look anything like this?
- A primitive Cremator Pyro burns people, leaving behind corpses if (s)he's good at his/her work, wears a gas mask, and nobody really knows what the Pyro is like. Cremators use flamethrower-like weapons to dispose of people in the Half-Life 2-verse and are never seen, so nobody really knows much about them, either. Cremators also appear to be at least partially trans-human. The Pyro is merely a prototype, explaining the home-made appearance of the flamethrower and the combine-esque gasmask, since Cremators were to use weapons that essentially burned enemies away.
- Scout’s Mom.
- And the Announcer is Scout's Gran. It works.
- Miss Pauling. Here is Miss Pauling, seen with the Administrator. Look at the Saxtonette on the right. See a resemblance?◊
- As of the Shadow Boxers Comic◊, this is officially Jossed, as Miss Pauling and the Pyro are clearly in the Same Room, at the same time.
- That's only the RED Pyro. It's still entirely possible that Miss Pauling is the BLU Pyro.
- That's Jossed as well, since Miss Pauling is clearly in the same room as the BLU Pyro in A Fate Worse Than Chess◊.
- A mecha, built and piloted by The Engineer's daughter. She's obviously inherited her father's Mad Scientist tendencies, given the homemade weapons, and what kid wasn't into sci-fi back then? All of her weapons are designed to help daddy with his work — there's one that reveals spies and reflects grenades, one that removes sappers, and one that stops snipers from aiming. The glove was a gift from her father rather than a trophy, and she acts like a Psychopathic Manchild because she is a child. She has a device that makes her sound like a man because she knows her father wouldn't want her to be out on a battlefield, although he may already have his suspicions ("didn't yer mama teach you not to play with matches?").
- You also win the internet, as well.
- Alternatively. Pyro is a robot. Pyro is a cyborg or robot created by the Engineer (some of his eleven PHDs could be in biological or robotic engineering), possibly as a prototype for the Manns, as transferring their brains into robot bodies would be an easy way to appease them while Dell could keep the life extender machine's blueprints for himself. (He may have had help from Medic.) The suit actually IS the Pyro's skin, and beneath the eyes of the gas mask are cameras, possibly in infrared. Pyro crossdresses because Engie is either lonely, wants to troll with his team, or more in touch with his feminine side than we realize. In June of 2012, updates on the blog began to detail how the game is made from a technical standpoint, one, as of this writing, features Pyro. Engineer's motto is: I like to make things. Evidence for this theory can be found in the Engineer Update: In the Engineer update video, you can see two◊ robot heads in the background, and in the Engineer Update you can see a robot prototype on the wall, in Meet The Spy (One of the possible messages on the alert screen is The Pyro is/a Robot,) True Meaning, (Dell lives with Pyro) and The Foundry map: There are photos in the RED team's room on Foundry, and a prominent bloodstain in BLUs. 1961 is the year the Unimate robot was first installed on an assembly line, while the neatly divided sectioned word fragments in the sign reading AUTO-BORAX spell "ROBOT" backwards. While we're on the subject, guess who uses the ax? To add even more grist to the mill, a skin called "Tobor", resembling the top of a turret without a chassis, was originally to be included in the Engineer Update, but was yanked, with a ... suspiciously odd explanation from valve. The skin is the Pyro's unmasked head: Tobor is the Pyro's name. As for when Meet the Pyro comes out... maybe AUGUST of 2012?
- Possibly jossed — The leaked Mann vs Machine robot heads include a Pyro head, and the robot prototypes and such seem to be leading up to an update where the team fight robots.
- Related: The Pyro is Poopy Joe's salvaged brain. Dell raided the U.S. Australium reserves, with help from Saxton Hale (Or pinned the crime on Saxton without Saxton's knowledge, knowing that Saxton was in hot water already) and found Poopy Joe, scorched and ravaged from the crash, in order to do some science to appease his idiot employers: A robot body to house a living brain could technically be considered a life extender machine, From a Certain Point of View.
- Seeing as you can now play through the mission where Poopy Joe died, and it was introduced during the Pyro update... perhaps a flashback?
- A cisgendered woman. Hinted at by the in-game character bios plus the fact that no one could tell what is going on under that flame-retardant suit. What clinches it for this editor is the purse in Pyro's locker. Next time you spawn in the game, check it out. The lead developer of TF2 referred to the Pyro as "her" in this interview. The Pyro's standing pose after losing a round seems very feminine, and one of the Spy's domination lines toward the Pyro says that the Pyro fights like a woman. As to her voice, everybody's voice sounds masculine when you're talking from behind a face mask and a air filter. Besides, you try inhaling asbestos and ash for X+ years, making explosives and not, and see what your voice sounds like. The helmets are "trophies" from soldiers said spy successfully backstabbed, much like how many soldiers collect mementos from their kills (Manfred "Baron" von Richthofen did this, for example) Obviously, the gasmask and muffled voice are all part of a Sweet Polly Oliver gambit. Maybe we have some case of Samus Is a Girl here? And The Pyro's new weapon? The Homewrecker...
- Relatedly: The Pyro may have decided to install a voice filter on the mask because she knows that otherwise all the guys on both teams would constantly be jokingly hitting on her and it would get annoying. (Oh yeah, plus the all-male mercenary group in '68 thing below, thank you).
- Patience Meriwether. Why does our resident Pyromaniac see the world as full of babies that it must take care of? This young midwife, badly burned and deprived of oxygen from an accident or an "accident", was the "lucky" recipient of a prototype life extender machine, courtesy of Radigan Conagher. She's since become the Conagher family's dearly beloved Madwoman in the Attic, and Dell provides her with the best quality of life he can, under the circumstances.
- A gay man. He's a flamer.
- Deep in analysis result of in the latest Game Theory episode of Screw Attack.
- A lesbian woman.
- A ghoul created by the Announcer. Ghouls can't speak and have limited intelligence, but can operate weapons. The Announcer never goes outside (notice how many of the stages are set during the day?) The rubber mask is so the Pyro's teammates don't notice that he's an undead monstrosity and stop healing him. The Announcer turns all of the casualties she can into more Pyros and eventually will be able to attack Redmond and Blutarch, who have been turning the others into freaks with a taste for bloodshed.
- Well how many does she need? Everyone's died at least a million times already!
- A soul bound to a suit, a la Fullmetal Alchemist
- Then how does one explain the suit and mask hanging in the locker room?
- A Mutant Mole Man It was smart enough to figure out how to use fire to fight back against the Children of Ishtar without hurting itself. The suit's there to hide his deformities and protect his own sensitive eyes; it also hides the fact that the mutants seen in the movie can't speak human languages (most just blame it on the mask).
- A cisgendered male trickster. This heavily relies on his unlockable hat: the beanie. Back in ye olden days, the beanie was used to represent a trickster or someone who was very childish. If he were a trickster, that would mean that the only reason he owns a purse is for the sake of the pun that he's flaming. He's so childish that he doesn't care about the implications, as tricking everyone else into thinking he's a woman or gay would be right up his alley. If you pay attention, he also seems to use the same few speech clips, even in completely different connotations (the same voice clip for his battle cry is used when he dies and when he charges up a Hadouken). He does this to try and trick his teammates into finding some sort of pattern in his muffles when there is none. He's even more of a Magnificent Bastard than the Spy, which is why he's the bane of the Spy's existence.
- …An infected. Or a zombie, if you prefer. The muffled grunting, the shambling gait, the complete lack of any self-preservation? (S)he'd be gnawing on brains right now, if not for that pesky gas mask (or not).
- A highly intelligent jerk. Listen to clips of his voice after reading the probable translations on http://wiki.teamfortress.com/. You'll notice that he sounds extremely condescending all of the time, and everything he says that's directed at other people is basically * instruction* * insult* . And not like the Soldier's "GET ON THE POINT, NUMBNUTS". The Soldier sounds angry, but the Pyro just sounds like he's tired of having to explain everything to people.
- Zoey. Zoey wears red and blue and she could share the same gender as the Pyro. That's all I got.
- An extraterrestrial. A classic 60's Little Green Man or one of The Greys, natch.
- The Engineer. At some point in the future, the Engineer builds a time machine and uses it to travel back to the present. The reason he wears a mask is so his past self won't recognize him. The flamethrower is just because he hates Spies so much.
- The Worm That Walks. Under that suit is not a man, a woman, or even a machine! It's thousands of small animals, which may be rats, reptiles, bugs... Or, if Pyro is a robot, it's controlled by some sort of rodent or rodent-sized animal, or a pig in a suit.
- Sentient, hive-minded potatoes.
- a Genre Savvy / Paranoid Spy. He's noticed how easy it is for a spy to be discovered, and went the extra mile to trick the enemy, by creating an entirely new person out of himself. The reason he doesn't sap any sentries or backstab anyone during the game is because he's just that worried about being caught, and the reason why he can walk through the enemy team is because he is wearing proper uniform. That's why the mask hides his face and his voice; a spy is under there and when the game ends, it doesn't matter who won, because the Pyro has.
- A Platonic Ideal. The Pyro does not have male or female attributes. Males and females have Pyro-like attributes. The Pyro is, as above, the Pyro.
- A time-displaced Doctor Who fan. Easy enough to figure out- wanting to save the wiped episodes, a geeky Doctor Who fan built his own time machine to travel back and record the episodes before they were destroyed. However, his machine was faulty and he got transported back to the start of the sixties, three years before it even began. His machine broke, and now he's taken a job as a masked soldier of fortune to support himself and get the funds necessary to repair his time machine. All the pop references are because he's such a geek, and handily explains why he can reference Star Wars and Street Fighter before they were created. He occasionally acts like a woman because he has fun screwing with the rest of the team's heads. Oh, and he's also British. The Pyro's muffled voice clips sound like he occasionally calls teammates "mate," and we've already got an Australian, so...
- The Scout's older brother. He was enraged when he found out how his younger brother came about and, wanting to avenge his brother, became the perfect antithesis to the skill set and combat style of his father in-law, the Spy.
- Bruddah also rhymes with Huddah. Food for thought...
- Calling for his Daddy. "Hudda" could be a muffled call for his parent. Yes, the Pyro is a Gas Mask Zombie. The suit is to prevent him from infecting his team.
- Pre-op transgender. Pyro hides because s/he doesn't want his/her teammates to see him/her in a body that doesn't suit them. Alternately, an intersexed individual who wants to avoid confusion from their teammates.
- A furry. (S)he knows all to well that if his/her true nature was discovered they'd be burned alive, because everyone on the internet hates furries. Fortunately, (s)he found a costume that covers up all the animal attributes.
- Either Five from Generator Rex, or an earlier relative of hers.
- Think about it; she can take ridiculous amounts of punishment, has a thing for close combat, rocks out on a close combat weapon, and is British. When combined with the lack of british on the team, and the British Pyro theory, it makes sense.
- The suit is to hide the fact she is female, and it prevents her from doing crazy backflips, but she still plays rad air guitar, and charges into impossible situations utterly sure of success or oblivious to defeat.
- The fire would tie into the ancestor theory. The previous incarnation had a thing for fire, the next one is a punk. Actually, the Pyro can be a punk, too.
- An internet troll. He lights fires in the chat forum by being a complete demonic spider, upon meeting an enemy Pyro they often start flame wars, and the Flare Gun is an irritation weapon because he cannot stand lack of attention for too long. The Homewrecker destroys anything an Engineer he doesn't like can come up with, the Axtinguisher silences those who have already been set ablaze, the Third Degree hits people trying to assist his enemies, and the reason you don't understand him is beause he speaks in Insane Troll Logic. And also, he makes you think he may be a woman.
- Saxton Hale.
- Severely Autistic.
- Dr. Zoidberg. The BLU Pyro is his Universe 1 counterpart. It seems joss-able because the Pyro has human hands, but the Zoidbergs could have had replaced their claws with hands (it is the year 3000, after all.)
- A former Valve employee. Some habits from his old job stuck, and without a userbase to troll, he can't resist messing with his teammates' heads.
- A four-year-old girl with no idea what death even is yet. The Pyro suit is Powered Armor. This ties into the guesses that the Pyro is a cisgendered female, thinks the whole thing is a game, and includes mechanical components.
- A clone of the original Pyro, Abraham Lincoln. Unfortunately, due to the Pyro being blown to chunky red gibs repeatedly, the cloning agency had to cut a few corners. Namely, the Pyro is insane (the cloners don't have the time or money to make each clone a rational human being), the Pyro has no set gender (usually male, due to Lincoln's DNA, but sometimes something gets flipped and the clone is female), the Pyro has a rapidly decaying outer skin (he/she/it can survive for a few hours outside the suit before he/she/it starts to break down. Again, not enough time or money to make each clone stable.)
- A pair of Twins. One boy, One girl. They keep switching teams in secret, so that's why Pyro is sometimes referred to as a "she". The male half of this pair is gay, but his sister is straight. Either way, "Pyro" likes men.
- The Engineer's daughter. It would explain why the two work so well together, and why Engie was reading Pyro a story about Australian Christmas in the Christmas 2011 comic.
- Could also explain Pyrovision; Engineer made his daughter some special goggles so that she wouldn't be afraid when she came to see him at work.
- Engineer's retarded brother. The fact that the head is so tiny is more than indicative of a serious mental disorder. Though he has the body of a man, he has the mind of a child, which explains his affinity for silly hats and why his battle cry seems to be "Hello!!!". When Engie was recruited, He begged them to hire his brother too. Fortunately, "Dolt" really enjoyed setting things on fire. So Dell built him some equipment and set him "Out to play".
- Also, in the comic True Meaning, we see that the Engineer and Pyro live together, and the Engineer is reading Pyro a Christmas story like one would read to a child (well, a child in the Team Fortress universe maybe). Why else would the Engineer know about the Pyro's mental state when no one else does if the two aren't siblings?
- Is covered in severe burns, perhaps cheerfully self-inflicted. If they destroyed his nerve endings this may overlap with the above 'Pyro feels less/no pain' theory above.
- Related to Freddy Krueger. He wears the suit to avoid being set on fire like Freddy, and if Scout is any indication he also likes killing teenagers.
- A universe-displaced firebender, quite possibly Princess Azula.
- If Pyro could speak, most of his lines would be cooking puns.
- Someone who hates sandviches for no reason.
- Actually behind everything, and pretends to be a ditz so no one suspects him.
- The Pyro's full name is 'The Pyrotechnician''. He doesn't use it because he can't pronounce it.
- And he has has a supreme ego complex. Note- he's not 'The Pyrotechnician'. He's just The Pyro. He is fire itself.
- A Schizophrenic.
- Secretly the cameraman for some of the more gore-splattered parts of the Meet the Team videos. This is why his video is coming last- they couldn't find anyone crazy enough to replace him when he announced he wouldn't be able to shoot Meet The Pyro for some reason.
- ''Someone from the previous generation(s) of the team (possibly using the life extender, though not Lincoln)- either as his/her speciality, the Pyro or as a different class entirely. This explains why s/he's fond of Engineer- s/he was best friends with Dell's father, or maybe even...
- President of, or at least a heavy influence behind, Spytech (see the Loose Canon comic). She deliberately secured the company to supply her favourite prey with inferior equipment.
- Of mixed nationality. This is why his hat collection is so varied in countries and his nationality isn't quite as in your face as the others.
- A Black Scottish Cyclops.
- The Firebat from Final Combat. What better place to hide/spend your free time than as your own ripoff?
- MASKS ALL THE WAY DOWN!
- A Time Lord Rogue. Time Lords love taking on titles that begin with 'The', such as the Doctor, The Master, The Rani, etc, and the Pyro just happens to have found a perfect place where no one will notice the odd habit, as everyone does it. As for the Pyro's sex/gender, its been changing constantly, along with its overall appearence, and we haven't noticed because of the clothes.
- The Sun in a A Form You're Comfortable With. The Sun needed a host body to keep certain people heated. However, it had no idea about humanity and that explains all the weird actions. It wears a mask and thick body suit to protect those around it but that doesn't stop it from using other flame related abilities to defeat RED or BLU.
- The Pyro's real name will be revealed in a comic. It will be unisex or obviously fake, because Valve are trolls and want to keep us guessing.
- His name will be Bernie.
- "Ash" would seem to go well with the unisex theory...
- A literal 'Frankenstein of a Man'. Pyro is a gruesome creation of The Medic, made out of graverobbed corpses and the brain of a delusional pyromaniac. Underneath the suit, she is hideously mismatched and quite possibly rotting.
- Screwball. She even has the propeller beanie!
- One of Lady Gaga's grandparents. Engineer is her grampa.
- The Dreaded, both by the other team and its own. Flamethrowers are usually used as a method of psychological warfare, so it would fit. It's why it hasn't showed up with any of its team mates in the canon(save Engineer) doing anything other than lighting things on fire/being part of the ensemble cast- nobody socializes with it, because it creeps even them out. Not without good reason.
- Capable of speaking perfectly well, but just chooses not to. His/her bio states that his lungs are ravaged by asbestos, and that is part of the reason he talks unintelligibly. But Asbestosis and similar lung afflictions cause breathlessness, and yet Pyro is one of the faster members of the team. So perhaps that's just an excuse and he's shy, or hates talking to people, or thinks it's funny, or maybe he's hiding something.
- Alternatively, The Pyro is speaking her own language. With Pyrovision active, some of the directional signs are changed to just read "Mmm Mmmph." Maybe Pyro just assumes that everyone speaks in either mumbles or infant whines?
- Makarovin disguise. Yuri and Price didn't really kill Markarov, he faked his death. He's adopted a new persona—that of an effeminate/childish pyromaniac—as part of a revenge plot against Yuri, Price, and the Russian Loyalists. First, he must find and kill Saxton Hale...
- Pyro's appearance in Killing Floor was canon. Its yearly vacations consist of buying Doctor Who merchandise and killing zombies.
- The Pyro's gender depends on the team S/He's on The Red Pyro is the female Pyro and the Blu Pyro is the male Pyro.
- A man who looks like a woman. So he covered his face with a mask. His appearance still haunts him.
- The Pyro has a pink purse because he CAN have one. Who would be fireproof enough to question his taste? And since nobody is quite sure if their team's Pyro is a man or a woman, yet walking up to a mouth breathing freak of nature and asking what gender they are has the potential to go badly they decide they are better off not knowing.
- A witch. 'Meet The Pyro' shows that, where there is a blazing battlefield where everyone is massacred, the Pyro sees a gorgeous diabetic sugar bowl where they spread joy and happiness everywhere. Who tells us that the Pyro wasn't a magical girl before being the Pyro, their perception of reality distorted and turned upside down due to falling into despair and turning into a witch? Alternitavely, they could be the familiar of a witch. That would explain multiple Pyros being around in the game.
- That guy who lost his skeleton to the Medic. We've all been under the wrong impression, thinking that the Pyro is simply wearing a full-body suit. Nope, he's actually surgically fused to the suit because he can't really live outside it, having no rigid bone structure and all.
- Broken. He/She/It never got used to the mental stress brought on by murdering people, eventually snapping and viewing the world through a damaged set of eyes.
- A Reluctant Psycho: the happy bits of the video are what Pyro wishes she/he/it could see, what she should be seeing if all was right with the world, but she knows she's too much of a slave to her own horrible impulses. So Pyro tries to imagine nice unicorns and things instead while murdering people, and uses that as an excuse to laugh and be delighted because she doesn't want to admit to herself that she enjoys burning people to death.
- A monster who knows exactly what horrors they're inflicting on people, but visualizes everything as a silly game to make it even more fun.
- Perfectly sane. Look at those Pyrovision goggles you've got. The ones with 'optical mask' written over the face. Yeah - they're just cut-down versions of the Pyro's gas mask. The gas mask he never removes. Poor guy is in for a hell of shock if he ever takes that off on the battlefield...
- A sadistic lunatic whose brain has been tampered with. Someone took the most foul depraved pyromaniac serial killer on the planet and pushed her under aversion therapy, a Clockwork Orange style so she'd hate fire and carnage, or severely warped her in the perception department so all she saw was fluffy rainbows, hoping it would prevent her from ever killing again and rehabilitate her. It...didn't work.
- Chell. Hey, why not? If Pyro is a woman, why not cross over?
- The guy who invents and coins Psychedelia. Someday he snaps out of his LSD dream, it's the year 1968 and settles over to Woodstock. He will do the colour stuff (like in Pyroland) and also (after a long airguitar session with his axes and hammers) invents guitar solos.
- Illiterate. When in Pyrovision, the signs say 'mmmph' instead of the actual words.
- Born in the town of Teufort. Because it's not a real place and thus the last place we'd ever guess.
- A victim of That Man Is Dead. That's why Pyro never takes off the gas mask and is called only by Pyro- s/he believes it's their face and their true name.
- A redhaired Asian woman, who is actually nice but completely oblivious to the fact that people cannot understand her beneath all her fireproof gear.
- An Asian woman who doesn't speak a work of English though she understands it just fine. It would explain why she never tries to really communicate with anyone because she knows they wouldn't understand her. Her being female would also explain why she never takes the suit off, she is hiding her gender out because she doesn't want to deal with the drama of being a female mercenary.
- Extremely verbose and intelligent if anyone knew what s/he was going on about. As per Rule of Funny.
- ...a sufferer of Dissociative Identity Disorder, whose identities run the gamut of genders,ages, and possibly even races, with personalities including the sadistic Pyromanic, a competant and fearless fighter, a goofy nerd, and a delusional nut/child (Pyroland's creator).
- Physically, removing Pyro's mask would answer nothing about its true identity. S/he has a build similar to the scout (slender enough to be male or female), pale from lack of sun exposure (to the point that natural skin color is indeterminate), scars obscure most identifying features (possibly even including the genitals).
- Calvin. Not only does he still live in a fantasy world, but he finally got that flamethrower he always wanted. Coming soon from the Steam workshop: the Toasted Tiger Toy!
- A classic example of a Mook.
- An emasculated man who had been mentally (as possibly physically) scarred.
- Atlas and P-body in an asbestos suit.
- The RED Pyro is a Canadian fireman who's an albino. He worked at the British Columbia Fire Brigade, where he learned to control fire, until that time where he rescued several innocent people from an arson caused by local gangsters or troublemakers, and he was forced to face the angry leader in combat who had two machetes while he had a Fire Axe. He got his face slashed by the leader, then accidentally used his axe handle to trip the leader into the fire. Unfortunately, he was permanently traumatized by the horrific sight of seeing the gang leader burn to death. He desperately tried to help him, but the leader refused. Later, he was a hero countrywide but couldn't work in the Fire Brigade anymore. So, he worked as a gas station attendant and a flare firing coastguard who also saved many lives. Eventually the Administrator heard about this local hero and hired him to be the RED Pyro. He created Pyroland based on his drawings and his favourite childhood books because he didn't want to see people burning to death. He wears a mask because, although he is a moderately handsome (well, he used to be good looking before he was knifed multiple times) albino, his face has some nasty knife wounds-tons of them, on his forehead and cheeks, and he's afraid that the team will shun him for being an albino. His contract also required him to confuse the team, which is why some of his behavior is rather feminine at times. After all, The Administrator loves a good Mind Screw with the team to cheer her up on the worst days.
- The BLU Pyro is the BLU Scout's Mom. She followed her son to become a mercenary because she missed him and wanted to look after him, and fell in love with the RED Spy. The Administrator was not amused, so she threatened to release the photos to the BLU Scout if Scout's mom didn't also combat the RED Spy in battle as well, although she is allowed to date him off duty. She carries a flowered purse, hinting at her identity, and inside her purse contains the photos, make up, sunglasses, cash, one or two romance novels, a picture of the RED Spy, her contract, AMMO, CIGARETTES, A LIGHTER, A SPARE MASK AND A FLARE GUN. Her son doesn't know, but she is rather caring towards him, which makes him think she's actually his best friend now. Cue the Mind Screw is he finds out.
- To continue, Pyroland is not a delusion, but a metaphor - It's a CHILDISH fantasy and land of wonder. Pyro is making herself think of her son and his childhood with her, and reminding herself why she does what she does.
- Elaborating on that-to create the metaphor, could she have based "Pyroland" on the books and toys she gave to her son when he was a little boy? This could explain Scout's positive reaction in the picture for the Pyrovision Goggles on the Team Fortress 2 site? Like all his favourite childhood books and toys have suddenly come back to him?
- ALL the above. Yes, even the mutually exclusive ones.
- Spy's equal because nobody knows anything about her. We don't even know Pyro's gender, let alone what she's talking or thinking about or her nationality. Spy's job is knowing everything about everyone, even to the point of taking pictures of his counterpart having sex, but he doesn't have the remotest clue who the mumbling freakshow who keeps outsmarting him is.
- became what he is after seeing someone light a cigarette. One day, the Pyro encountered someone who was glum and stressed out, but after successfully lighting a cigarette, he cooled down considerably. The Pyro, who at this point in his life, was Desperately Looking for a Purpose in Life suddenly realized his calling. He saw that the fire, which in his mind was a magical mist of bubbles and rainbows, made people happy. Therefore, he would provide bubbles and rainbows for everyone and make the whole world a happy place! By this logic, we can also get some insight into the Pyro and Spy's relationship. The Spy of course hates and fears the Pyro for burning him and ruining his disguise, cloak, and suit in the process. However, the Pyro considers the Spy to be his best friend since he can make him so happy with his special talent, especially since he carries all of those cigarettes!
- is a WW2 Firebombing survivor (Warning: Possibly a Dude, Not Funny! and/or highly depressing) In keeping with the World War 2 related theme, the Pyro was a young kid/teenager during World War 2, either in Germany or Japan (Possibly Japan, fitting with the "pyro is Asian" WMG). Unfortunately for the Pyro, he/she had a tendency to continually move to cities that were about to get firebombed, and constantly got stuck in the resulting conflagrations. To mask the horror, the Pyro imagined that all the people getting burned were really in a happy kiddie land, with the fire spreading happiness around instead. Unfortunately, after too many repeats of this, the Pyro began to visualize everything this way, and after the war, built some devices to spread the happiness to everyone around him/her. Meanwhyile, in the actual world, the actual violent memories show themselves as the sadistic, destructive pyro we actually see in the video. (And this guess comes out even darker than I was expecting. May need some editing in the future.)
- ...the best member of the team at Mann Vs Machine The game mode has a lot of similarities to Killing Floor. The Pyro was a playable character in Killing Floor. Assuming this appearance was canon, Pyro is the best at fighting the robots because s/he's already practiced on zombies.
- The pyro's enigmatic race and gender is enforced. Because of his/her Psychopathic Manchild personality. The pyro would have carried Unfortunate Implications to women or whatever race (s)he supposed to represent.
- The pyro is married to the spy. When they ever find out each other's true identity, it will be the most awkward day of their life.
- Bono. The "Sweetest Thing" single cover is a Pyro's mask, and the song very much sounds like something happening in the Pyro's mind.
- Pyro is a grown up Mabel from Gravity Falls. Don't do smile dip, kids.
- The Pyro is a ditz. (S)he always forgets to remove the Pyrovision goggles. Every single time.
- The Pyro is a Little Sister. Little Sisters were engineered by ADAM to see the world as a happy-go-lucky place full of wonder and enjoyment. The Pyro sees the world as a happy-go-lucky world full of wonder and enjoyment. Are you starting to see the connection here? Cause I am.
- Alternatively, the Pyro is actually a Big Sister. One of the problems with Little Sisters as they aged was that they would get more aggressive as they aged, suffering a slower version of what Splicers went through. Who is most likely the most aggressive, Axe Crazy member of the team? Pyro.
- Pyro is a Reality Warper Merasmus the wizard exists in-universe, so Pyro could have untapped magical potential. Pyro is neither imaginative nor delusional, but instead has the power to change the world back and forth between Pyroland and horrible blood-soaked 'reality'.
- Pyro comes from a Bad Future caused by Gray winning the war against Mann Co.Specifically, a much more advanced robot that gained sentience. Its somewhat odd morality told it that something was wrong with the world it lived in, but gave it no qualms about killing people. The reason for its sentience was likely Merasmus, who also sent it back in time in order to prevent the future from coming to pass - because of its skill at deflecting things like bombs.
- The Pyro wasn't always in Pyroland... In fact, he/she/it never was, right until "Meet the Pyro" came out. So how did he/she/it go from seeing everything like the other mercs to Pyroland? Here's my theory: if the Pyro was just as much of a Butt Monkey in-universe as well as out, than the Administrator was having her researchers work around the clock to find a way to make him/her/it sufficiently crazy for the Administrator's standards. It took a while because nothing seemed to work, but they finally came up with something: the Pyro-Vision goggles. This effectively made the Pyro Brainwashed and Crazy, and the ensuing devastation in Meet The Pyro is the successful field test. Leads to boatloads of Fridge Horror now that said goggles are being distributed to the rest of the mercs...
- The lenses on Pyro’s mask cause him/her to see “pyroland” The gas mask works to contain all of pyro’s senses. Someone fitted that mask with video/audio feed on the inside, and camera and sound (and smell) recording devices on the outside. Then this mysterious individual set it up so that the recording devices distort what’s actually being seen. In this case into Cutesy pyroland. Pyro is taken to work everyday in a specialized vehicle, which is where he/she puts on the mask to further the illusion that pyro really is in a land of giant lollipops and balloonicorns, The magic van takes him/her there, Pyro does not associate pyroland with the mask, instead with the vehicle where he/she gets ready. Pyro does not know the location of pyroland, but knows he/she can only get there by riding the special van.
- Pyro has an exceptionally nasty sense of humour Entire team is babies? Rainbows make me cry? Well, why not.
- related to or is the Spy from Team Fortress Classic.They both wear face-obscuring masks, if that's any indication.
- one of the Ree.
- The Owner of the Secret Diary, or its former owner. On finding the diary, the team will learn the Pyro's identity, and that it is, or was, a key player in the Grand Family Feud.
- a Combine.
- They both wear gas masks and full body suits.
- The Pyro's unlockable Mair Mask strongly resembles the Civil Protection Metrocops' gas mask.
- They both kill people in inhumane ways.
- They are both nigh-incomprehensible in speech.
- They are both employed for military purposes.
- They are both implied to have suffered heavy unnatural damage that necessitates that they be equipped with certain technology at all times. (In a combine soldier's case, it's supposedly had all of its human organs removed and replaced with machines. In Pyro's case, we don't know.)
- They are both canonical characters from the same gaming universe.
- Kenny McCormick
- They both have muffled speech
- They always come back from the dead.
- Perhaps he's a teenage Kenny, Kenny's grandpa in his younger days, or adult Kenny.
- Kyubey. This (SPOILERIFFIC) video explains it all. WARNING: SPOILERS ALL OVER THE VIDEO.
- Engineer's Girlfriend/Best Friend. This would explain why Engie brought he/she/it into the conflict between RED and BLU. He was lonely.
- a LEGO Minifigure. As confirmed by the "Ring of Fired" comic, Pyro doesn't actually see the world as a Sugar Bowl, but rather a dull, colorless, monotonous, industrialized world that can only be turned into a colorful fantasy land by creating fire. This essentially amounts to the premise of LEGO Fever, where a pair of Minifigures bring color and life to a dull and boring world by unleashing "LEGO energy", something that terrifies the public until they become engulfed in it. The Pyro is the only one in the Team Fortress 2 universe who sees LEGO energy for what it really is; no one else can comprehend it, so their human minds can only interpret it as fire.
- male, because Miss Pauling said so. Of all the characters in the Team Fortress 2 universe, the only one who has access to all files and information regarding everything that is known about the nine mercenaries would be the Administrator, who has offered no comment on the matter of Pyro's identity. However, as her assistant, Miss Pauling also has access to most, if not all, of those files regarding the mercs, and while the Administrator is always watching everything that the mercs do, it's Miss Pauling who is always interacting with them on a more personal level, so she knows the mercs just as well as, if not better than, the Administrator does. If anyone other than the Administrator knows who the Pyro really is, it's Miss Pauling. So what does Miss Pauling say on the matter? On multiple occasions in the "Ring of Fired" comic, she very clearly refers to the Pyro as "he", not "she" or even "it".
- A Tusken Raider. The only clue is his taunt, which is identical to that of the Tusken Raiders. He may have spent some time in the Street Fighter universe as well.
- Hank Scorpio: Why not?
- ... a tomato.
- a combustible lemon. Before being employed by RED and BLU, the Engineers worked for Aperture Science Innovators. And, as we all know from his famous rant, Cave Johnson ordered his Engineers to create a combustible lemon to burn your house down. Said combustible lemon ended up becoming Pyro, designed to kill things with fire and protect Engies and their buildings from those dime-a-dozen backstabbing scumbag Spies. And from that day forward, anytime there were a bunch of Pyros together near a Dispenser, it was called a Spy Check! Unless that Pyro is a Spy!
- A magypsy. It would explain a lot.
- ...isn't wearing a mask. Or a suit, for that matter.
- Stone Pilot. Seriously, look at her◊. For one, her Gender's not revealed until very late in the series, is fireproof, mumbles due to her suit, if this isn't uncanny resemblance, I don't know what is.
- Blind. When he/she was a young child, they had a bad accident(Probably with fire) that made it nigh impossible to see. This could explain why everything Pyro sees is so childish and innocent. How our favorite arsonist sees in game? Perhaps the Medic or the Director had some experiments done that allowed the whole pyro goggles thing, or maybe he's just very good at hearing things. It's just a guess.
- Schrodinger's Gender. So long as he continues to wear that mask and suit, she is both male and female at the same time.
- The REAL Aegon VI Targaryen. He escaped the death of his family through a random portal that opened between universes due to an accident in the Aperture labs (which resulted in the firing of many people). Gregor Clegane was confused for a moment, but found some other baby's head to smash open and claim it was the prince because he's a dick like that. Although raised not knowing his heritage, Aegon still exhibits some Targaryen traits, such as a love of fire and general loose relationship with reality. As such, he sees fire as the bestest thing ever because, hey, everyone knows fire cannot kill a dragon. He still hasn't quite grasped that other people don't see it as pretty as he does...
- Actually The Villager.
- Based on The Little Match Girl. S/he likes fire, right? S/he sees things, right?
- An exiled fairy princess. Specifically, she was an ignis fairy, a particularly mischievous breed of fairy known for setting things on fire. One day, her incendiary antics went too far and she was banished from the magical fairy kingdom. So what did she do with herself? Why, she donned an asbestos suit and gas mask and became a mercenary, because why not? At first she joined up exclusively to make a living doing what she loved; setting things on fire. But as time went on, she grew closer to the rest of the team and eventually saw them as the family she always wished she had. She's even fallen in love with the Engineer, though she lacks the courage to show him who she really is. Though she was at first wary of the Engineer's machines (faeries have an instinctual aversion to metal and technology), she was eventually won over by his sweet and endearing personality. It was also through her love for the Engineer that she developed her hatred for spies; enemy spies were the bane of her team's existence, her love's especially. Thus, she hunts them down with ruthless efficiency to protect her family.
- The Medic. Whether it's a Jekyll & Hyde type affair brought on by the Medic's meddling or something more serious, with the Pyro being what the Medic turns into when he gets a bit too crazy, is unclear, but the Pyro represents the Medic's dark side (and considering what the Medic's other side is already like...), with them both being crazy but the Pyro doing harm when he thinks he's bring happiness and the Medic doing harm when he should be healing. The Pyro is also strictly offensive, unlike the Medic which will spend a fair bit of time treating units for after burn, and both have a mysterious past. Both of them use weapons they created themselves, and the Spy with his instakills makes the Medic useless, with the Pyro's spy checking being him acting on his insecurities.
- Ember McClain. She does seem to like guitars a lot...
- Octodad. Since the Spy is already wearing a suit, he decided to go for an asbestos suit and a flamethrower instead. Nobody suspects a thing!
- A Gender Bender with no control over his/her ability. The constant shifting in hormones and brain chemistry causes his/her insanity.
- The Fury. HE CAME BACK FROM SPACE. AS HE RETURNED, HE HAD ONE VISION: THE WORLD SET ABLAZE.
Meet The Pyro
The Pyro is a guy.
The Scout does say "he" in the video.
- "I fear no man... but that... thing... it scares me." -Heavy
- "He's not here, is she?" -Scout
- If one dismisses the subtitles, "he" is clearly audible.
- Scout probably wouldn't know anyway.
- And the song lyrics are 'magic in a young girl's heart'. But the song itself is sung by a man. Oh Valve, how we love your deliberate confusions...
During Meet the Pyro, RED apparently won a round and BLU left humiliated
The jarring thing was, how the Pyro curbstomped the entire BLU team, while they tried to hide and run away and didn't even made attempts to defend themselves.
- I think the implication is that they tried to hide because Pyro is utterly terrifying and will end you in the most painful way possible.
- They weren't holding their weapons. It wasn't a battle. It wasn't even a fight. Pyro tracked down the BLU team, found where they were hiding, and slaughtered them for kicks at a time when nobody was expecting a confrontation. Why do you think their own psychotic teammates are afraid of them?
- So they were caught unawares because Pyro was doing what their class is designed for- ambushing!
...I don't think I need to explain this one
- So, Pyro's a drug addict?
- That might not be an oxygen tank on his/her/its back...
- The Moonman Backpack, a miscellaneous item for the Pyro, contains "one part oxygen, one part mercury, and twelve parts laudanum." Laudanum is an opiate substance used as a painkiller. Just food for thought.
- Possible Fridge Horror: Pyro is just an ordinary guy up until he was kidnapped by RED and forcefully drugged up to make him oblivious to the fact that RED turned him into a fire-spewing killing machine.
Meanwhile, back at the RED base,
The BLU Spy is sneaking around while disguised as a RED pyro.
- But why is the BLU Spy seen in Pyrovision?
The Pyro took head trauma that round or is a heavy daydreamer.
And thus they start imagining the normal warfare as Pyroland.
The scene where the camera enters Pyro's mind had to be made by the Director via input from the Pyro him/herself. Maybe Pyro made the entire thing up off the top of his/her head and used it as an excuse to eat giant lollipops and disco dance for a week of filming on the Administrator's dime.
Pyro isn't deluded, just imaginative.
Well, there's nothing to suggest that what Pyro sees is truth to her/his eyes.
- There's a surprising amount to support the interpretation that it was just Pyro's daydream, or representation of his/her/its emotional state: There's a fuzzy pink border around the fantasy, the flame insignia on Pyro's jumpsuit hasn't been replaced with a rainbow, and Pyro occasionally glimpses towards the camera while in Pyroland as if inviting you in instead of being lost in his/her own world. The difference in body language between Pyro blowing a cherub bubbles and giving Scout a flare to the face is starkly apparent. At the end, dream!Pyro is skipping away while real!Pyro is walking slowly, and there are obvious inconsistencies between Pyroland and the real world compared to the simple re-skin the Pyroland goggles give you (although the goggles might be a pale imitation), unless Pyro is somehow working on a subconscious level, there's no way they'd be able to do all this if they weren't at least partially aware of reality. Valve describe Pyroland as 'imagination' instead of something like 'delusion'. Pyro being a nice person who doesn't understand what s/he's doing and why everyone hates them is surprisingly depressing. If Pyro actually indulges in odd daydreams, she's a lot easier to laugh at.
- Some more support for this one: The Rainblower taunt, even when seen through Pyrovision turns into flames and Pyro laughs evilly. Also, Pyro's laughter in general is a bit too sadistic for someone who is supposedly scattering rainbows.
- It's entirely possible (even likely) that Pyro's teammates fear of it is entirely founded in reality, because it displays sadistic and Faux Affably Evil behavior on a level that not even they can fathom, and is fully aware of it to boot. Its slow strolling is entirely deliberate; it's leisurely toying with its prey, trying to prolong the experience and the opponent's agony. It feels the same pure joy an adult might feel bonding with a child when playing "hide-and-seek" with the Medic. Burning destruction is its paradise, complete with a cheerful soundtrack that they hum along to.
Pyroland is the real world, and the Pyro is the only one who sees reality the way it really is.
Everyone else sees the world as a mean, scary place full of fire and death and no giant lollipops whatsoever because the Evil Purple Witch (the Administrator) put a curse on the residents of Pyroland. The Pyro is the only one immune to the curse, but doesn't realize it yet.
- Then this explain why Death Is Cheap in the rest of the Meet the Team videos; no one died in the first place!
- Well, it is called Pyroland. Maybe Pyro is immune because s/he was the benevolent ruler of it.
Alternativly Pyroland is the real world but the pyro sees it as the standard tf2 world
The Medic and the Engineer are not afraid of the Pyro.
As long as he/she/it is in the same team. For the Medic, it's because he did surgery on him/her/it along with everyone else. For the Engineer, it's because the Pyro can spy-check and always saved his buildings from being sapped.
- Engineer is reading Pyro a story in a Christmas comic, so half-confirmed! Also because the nicest, most down to earth guy on the team being best friends with Pyro is rather amusing.
- To be fair, if anyone knows what's under that mask, it's most likely the Medic, considering that while his methods are questionable and he clearly gets... um... a little too much pleasure out of what he does, he certainly seems to know what he's doing, meaning he probably knows a thing or two about anatomy. We see in "Meet the Medic" that he does do conventional surgery as well as use the Medi Gun, and he had to somehow get an ubercharge into Pyro's heart which would require her to be stripped. It's very well likely that the Medic knows full well just what's under that mask, but either out of respect (maybe he's worried about how the soldier would react to finding out she's a woman, since he does seem to have a certain bond with his teammates) or fear (maybe Pyro threatened to do something particularly nasty if he said anything about her) he refrains from saying anything.
TF2 has been frequently dismissed as a "kiddy game" because of its art style, so here's a video portraying one of the characters exactly how people think
the game is played... oh, wait, they're actually killing the other team, and quite violently, at that!
Pyrovision and Pyrovision Goggles are how a person actually sees Candle Cove.
Every Pyro is actually from a small town in Ohio. "Candle Cove" as it is called, was nothing more than a brainwashing device made by Mann Co. to create the last merc needed for Blutarch and Redmond's feud. They had all but one hired. But they needed one more. So with the help of a little TV show in a little town, they created exactly what they needed: completely sociopathic and insane men and women to work for them. The Pyro sees the same kind of world through his mask to always keep it so he never snaps back to reality. It keeps him in a complete mental lock. The "screaming episode" was a last ditch effort to create more Pyros when the other mercs realized how to combat them. It worked. The Pyrovision goggles were used by the other mercs to view Candle Cove on their breaks, as Saxton Hale was too cheap to get actual cable for them (Ironically, Candle Cove ran for 20 years). Without the goggles, everyone else cannot see them, and it appears as nothing more than dead static. Having all the Pyros they needed, they toned down the subliminal messages in the program, but kept some in, to distort the other merc's morality, if not just a little.
Pyrovision is a place of infinite cruelty.
Pyro sees giving a cherub a lollipop as an act exactly as sadistic
as bashing a defenseless man to death with an axe, because of a severe case of Blue and Orange Morality
It all makes sense now.
The amount of Diabetes-inducing
Pyroland gets depends on how full of flames and carnage it is.
The more violence and burning there is the further Pyroland departs from reality. This is why the Pyrovision Goggles leave most things unchanged- the maps aren't coated in flames like in Meet the Pyro. If there's no violence or fire at all, Pyro sees the world as completely normal, and thus boring.
Pyroland in "Meet the Pyro" was a soulless commercial product placement.
Saxton Hale had a lot of inflatable unicorns, bongos and defective kaleidoscope lenses in stock he had to unload, and needed to find someone who'd be paid to endorse them. Pyro was, for some reason, kicked out by Engineer and needed the rent money.
If Pyro sees the World through Pyrovision, then cute things in reality are horrendous monstrosities that are cool to him/her.
Think about it. The Pyro sees the world as some sort of happy, rainbow, unicorn filled place of Cherubs, Candy, and happiness. In real life, he's actually killing people in the grimmest of ways possible; by burning them. So, if the Pyro thinks the dark, deadly world around him is nothing but sunshine and lollipops, then what could cute things in our world be? Why, they could very well be Eldritch Abominations
! The Pyro, being sort of an Odd Man out in Pyroland (Since everyone else is a Cherub), could very well like these things. That would explain why he has a purse, and thus, he's a freak in Real Life, and a Freak in his own World!
Now, I know people will eventually point this out; using Pyrovision, The Purse is still a Purse, it doesn't change in game at all. No, it doesn't, I've tried it myself. However, Pyrovision clearly isn't the same as Pyro's Pyrovision, because in-Game characters don't turn into Cherubs, people still die, and people still look like their burning when they die. Plus, the Pyro's newest taunt still produces fire at the end. So, the Pyrovision Goggles do not equal Pyro's Pyrovision, and thus, the purse can still look like a complete monstrosity to him! —Dingo Walley
"Pyroland" is actually what the TF2's version of hell is.
Considering that the Spy speculates what the Pyro is thinking are "inhuman thoughts" and the carnage and bloodshed of the game is normal life for them, then their idea of what hell is should basically its exact opposite: The world that The Pyro imagines.
- This would explain the 'Pink As Hell' paint quite nicely.
The BLU Pyro doesn't see Pyro Land.
Instead, they see a horrible Death World
full of people who want to kill them.
- Or rather, they see the world as "Hell" as seen in Helltower.
Heavy tried to rip Pyro apart with his minigun
Heavy is well equipped to dealing with Pyros at close range. Then he tripped.
- Alternatively, he was taken by surprise, didn't have Sascha on him, and tried to fight Pyro with his fists. He failed.
Pyro was not actually interviewed for Meet the Pyro, but everyone else was.
- The Director (or his replacement) couldn't understand a thing Pyro said, so he went with asking the rest of the team, who are just as divided as we are about Pyro's inner mind and each contributed some story where Pyro did something Crazy Awesome.
The RED Engineer in the end logo/group shot is a BLU Spy.
His expression looks worried compared to other Meet the Team trailer. The BLU Spy has killed the real RED Engineer and in process of either stealing Intelligence or just infiltrating the RED base when suddenly all the RED team member called for a taking of RED Team photo. He quickly take a RED Engineer disguise and try to leave the RED base, but mistaken as the real RED Engineer and forced to join the RED team posing in front of camera. If that doesn't bad enough, he must pose next to his most feared enemy, the RED Pyro, who at any times can do Spy-check and make his disguise ruined.
The Pyro is able to selectively turn off his fantasy land.
This is supported by the sequence in "A Cold Day in Hell" where Pyro starts his fight with a bear hallucinating about it being some Smokey-esque character. She then brutally murders it. Additionally, in the "Expiration Date" short Pyro shows up to support the other mercs when the bread starts overwhelming them. This implies the Pyro was taking the fight seriously.
Pyro is none of the above.
How so? If you look carefully, you can see some words on his mask. It says Optical Mask
, which could mean that Pyroland is a vision created by the mask. Further solidifying this theory is the Pyrovision Goggles, which have the words Optical Goggles
on them. Pyro is just a normal person, but the mask makes him look like a psycho.