WMG: Homestuck Jossed Three

Act 6 will be devoted to the Alpha Session. Act 7 will be about Lord English.
The Homestuck Disc Portfolio depicts a series of dots representing the Acts. Four red dots for Acts 1-4, a blue dot followed by a red dot for Act 5 Acts 1 & 2, a green dots for Act 6, and a white dot for Act 7. We already know that red represents the Beta session, blue the Trolls' session, and green the Alpha session. Since there is only one green dot, it seems that the Alpha session's story will be resolved in one Act. White is something outside those three universes, or possibly a combination of all three. Since Lord English exists in multiple universes, Act 7 is most likely centered around him. Plus, since he's the Big Bad, it only makes sense for the final act to feature him.
  • Jossed; Word of God is that Act 7 is going to be the Epilogue.
    • Not jossed, it could be about the final fate of Lord English, a sort of "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue. Alternatively, perhaps Act 7 will give us a proper introduction to UU, if her universe is the result of both groups of kids and the trolls working together (see immediately below)?
      • The idea of Act 7 being about the final battle against Lord English though is Jossed.

Escaping the Scratch is the key to winning Sburb
If the kids ever arrive in the Alpha Session, they will be able to defeat Lord English with their god-tier powers, possible assisted by the Alpha kids
  • Rose's narration implies this is a rare event.
  • Jossed. The scratch is a last-resort method for a failed session to end in success, and the original players escaping it is supposedly a rare event. It has been stated multiple times that the ultimate times that the objective of Sburb is for universes to reproduce, and that the players become gods in the new universe after victory.

The kids and trolls will create a new universe together, with 12 players.
From the original human session, we have Heir of Breath, Seer of Light, Knight of Time, and Witch of Space. The new session has (probably) Maid of Life, Page of Hope, Lalonde as the hero of Void, and Strider as the hero of Heart. Finally, the four remaining trolls add the Knight of Blood, Seer of Mind, Bard of Rage, and Mage of Doom. This means that the other parts of Lalonde and Strider's titles will contain Thief, Rogue, Sylph, or Prince. Result: twelve player session with one of each mythological role, only with two of Knights and Seers, and lacking two of the four missing titles entirely.
  • The only problem of the theory would be how to get the trolls into God Tiers, what with their planets and Quest Beds having all been destroyed.
  • That and Aradia and Kanaya are alive while Sollux is dead.
    • Or just half dead, according to [1]
    • He looked fine in Cascade.
    • Up until the eyebleed...
    • Sollux still poses a problem, as he doesn't intend to come with Rose, Dave, and the other trolls to the alpha session.
  • Mom Lalonde's book series implies none of the trolls will survive the Alpha Session.
  • The points in the WMG itself have been Jossed. The mythos of the Alpha Session have been utterly devoid of any mention of the Trolls too.

The post-scratch kids (Jane, Jake, Mom and Bro) will somehow merge/retain their memories from Alpha in form of their pre-scratch selves
Which explains why they know so much about Sburb. The only hole in this theory is John/Jane's 'dad', unless he gets prototyped at some point...
  • Mom and Bro seem to know unnaturally more about Sburb than even Jane and Jake, who don't seem to know much more than what they got from UU.
    • This does not seem to be the case.
      • That would not make much sense, as their beta-selves would probably need to have been absorbed by the scratch, and they are all dead at this point.
      • Jossed by A 6 I 2's explanation of how the scratch works.

Bro has read the walkthrough.
Only because the bulk of Timaeus is a creation myth, which introduces the four elements and much else of the cosmology Aristotle would later put out - that can't be a coincidence...
  • He has not. He'd know Derse is more important than he gives it credit if that were the case.

The 'three years' thing is setting up for an event on 4/13/2012.
Specifically, the arrival of John and Jade in the Alpha Session. This is because their adventure began on April 13, 2009. Three years later means 2012. From our perspective, their journey will have only taken a few months. Additionally, all the other characters will also advance in age three years besides Alpha session characters, who will only advance a few months. This means that John and Jane will be sixteen on the dot, while the rest of the human kids will have been sixteen for a few months, and the trolls will be well into their seventh sweep. Adding on to this, the adventure will end on 10/25/2012.
  • We're two days away as I type this and just completed an intermission that chronicled the kids' first year. Barring a time skip, this is looking jossed.
    • Jossed.

It will take half the entire run of Homestuck to defeat the ultimate enemy.
Taking a guess that this character will be Lord English, then this will follow Problem Sleuth. It took half of that adventure to defeat DMK, right? And look at the parallels between DMK and Lord English:
  • The Vessel: Chicago Overcoat vs. Cairo Overcoat.
  • Both are demons.
  • Both characters are the reason that the main characters are stuck in their home or office.
Lord English's powers may also allow him to create an ultra-massive black hole... Now, if the enemy is Bec Noir:
  • The alternate version of Bec Noir is Spades Slick, leader of a notorious gang. The non-imaginary counterpart of DMK is... Mobster Kingpin.
  • Also both demons.
  • Bec Noir has space-altering First Guardian powers. DMK eventually combined with BHMK.
The second option might work better, as prototyped PM gets the look of SEPULCHRITUDE!!! and she may be the end of Bec Noir.
  • Jossed by Andrew; Act 6 will be as long as Act 5 more or less and Act 7 will be as long as Act 1 more or less.

Aradia and Sollux's upcoming encounter with Jack will be a musical Flash file.
...which will end with the words "Happy New Year."
  • Might be a flash but Jossed on the new year dealie.
  • By all appearances, we're not going to get that encounter at all.
    • And p. much Jossed by Aradia being killed off panel.

Jane is the most important character in Homestuck.
From here and here.
  • Mistaken assumption: Jane isn't watching Jade's tower as should be obvious from the blue color and the gold tower. She's watching her own imminent lifey thing.

As compensation for losing their roles as players, post-Scratch ancestors get to be awesome.
All of the Troll Ancestors were powerful, influential, or memorable in some way (though some were also miserable). And the Kids' Alpha Session counterparts were all incredibly successful (except for Jade, who could have been, but instead chose to fight the Evil Empire).
  • Alternatively, experience carries over from before the Scratch. The original Trolls almost completed the game, and the Kids all reached God Tier before or during the Scratch, so they would start at high levels in their new lives as ancestors. This could also be why the Trolls and Alpha Kids seemed to start out more powerful than the original Kids.
    • Jossed: They're all dead.

Skaian portals are able to send objects trans-Scratch
Right here: http://www.mspaintadventures.com/scratch.php?s=6&p=005953 , mostly in the third and fourth paragraphs. All 48 trolls and ancestors were birthed in the post-scratch session. Not only that, but such an event occurring is the "calling card" for Lord English's arrival in the post-scratch session. Since Lord English is implied to have conquered multiple sessions, this must happen fairly often. Thus, it is possible, plausible, and basically confirmed, that a post-scratch session's ectobiology session can send paradox clones back to a pre-scratch session, and from there it is not much of a leap to determine that a pre-scratch session would be able to send stuff to a post-scratch session. I mean, if Jake can sit there warping pumpkins from other sessions all day, I'm sure skaia could do it without blinking.
  • Jossed at least partially via several mistaken assumptions: Karkat said he only made 24 grubs and English's calling card is specifically that players were not created in their session, which doesn't specifically mean they were made in another session. Likewise, there's been no indication Skaia can transport things across universes; it seems to be limited to the Exile's terminals and whatever process Jake and Jade are using, which is probably similar given their tech comes from the Medium.
    • And Jossed via Rose's exposition. In the Human sessions, and presumably the Troll ones, only 8 babies were made. However, they were sent to two points in time, and the resulting differences created an alternate universe. From Skaia's perspective, the two sessions aren't cause and effect, but simply two alternative paths.

John's Ectobiology Session sent those children into the Alpha Session
In summary here, to be clearer: Dave bought a bunny. He gave it to John. John gave it to Baby Mother (alpha) Lalonde. Mother Lalonde gives it to Roxy, who dresses it up like a wizard and gives it to Jane Crocker. Jane gives it to Baby Rose. Baby Rose fixes it up a bit and gives it to John. John gives it to Baby Grandma English. Grandma English gives it to Jake, who dresses it up like Indy and gives it to Jane. Jane gives it to Baby Jade. Jade transmaterializes it to Jake, who cyborgifies it and sends it back. And so on. Dirk steals the Alpha Bunny and put it into a nigh-indestructible robot shell, in which it stays safe from time shenanigans. John and Poppop are both sent back with copies of Sassacre. Brother (alpha) Strider is sent with Maplehoof, and breeds it/alchemizes it to make a tiny Maplehoof for some reason. As far as I can tell, he has a CAPTCH Aroid and an alchemiter, in order to make the Autoresponder. Dave is sent back with Tiny Maplehoof. Dirk is sent back with Lil' Cal, and so is Bro.
  • Jossed: We outright saw John make only 8 children, and the Alpha and Beta bunnies have been confirmed to be completely different. We also saw that meteors from Skaia's green portals went to Earth at various points in time, so again, there is no indication the Beta Ectobabies went to the Alpha Universe.
    • The jossing logic was flawed, but the conclusion was correct. Only 8 children were made, but they were sent to alternative points in time.

Lord English has left his "calling card" for the Alpha Session
Betty Crocker is in the Alpha Session. Betty Crocker is the Batterwitch. The Batterwitch is the Condesce. The Condesce is in the service of Lord English. The way the Scratch dealie works is, universe gets reset, Lord English gets to send one single person into the new session, who is required to make the session more likely to succeed, but also dooms it to fail. Trolliverse had Doc Scratch, Alpha Session gets the Condesce. Plus, the plot basically requires that Lord English tries to break into the Alpha Session, otherwise he'd end up just awkwardly leaving the story.
  • Jossed: English's calling card is a session being forced to scratch due to not being able to win the game naturally. The calling card existed in the Beta Session, not the Alpha. The agent of English is his direct pawn.
    • Though the symptom of the calling card, players not being born in their session, is present. Rose implies that's naturally a product of a Scratch though, and not necessarily related to English.

The Frog Temple knows about the Scratch, and Frog Temples add.
It's pretty agreeable that the Frog Temple knows that the Scratch happened and is structured accordingly. It has eight pillars for only four players, which certainly means something. This is interpretable as four Beta kids/worlds, four Alpha kids/worlds. However, I am personally making a wildly massive guess that the pillars on the frog temple represent planets, not players. This makes sense, because Skaia, Prospit, Derse, and their respective moons also show up on the frog temple, and those sure aren't players. Since this would mean that the Alpha Session has eight planets in it, and the kids are bringing along four of theirs, this would mean that the Alpha Session will end up with twelve planets sitting in it.
  • Jossed: The Frog Temple is just a building; the mythology of the entire session itself revolves around an 8 player session. The Frog Temple reflects that.

Every session needs twelve players, one of each element.
Everyone agrees that every session needs a hero of Time, and a hero of Space. I believe Word of God confirms this. I just think all the other ten are necessary, too. It would certainly seem hard to make a Genesis Frog without any Blood, Breath, or Life. The Trolls' session, the only one we have seen (mostly) succeed is the Trolls', which had twelve players, one of each element. Hussie's joke session of 48 squiddles divides pretty evenly into 12 kiddles and twelve guardian squiddles in an alpha and a beta session, too. It also seems to be a rule that a battlefield must be fully leveled up to create a new session. The beta kids' battlefield has only leveled four times. The Trolls' leveled twelve times. Four is not enough, which is why the kids' session was "barren." Not enough kernels to level it up all the way. This could maybe be fixed by dropping extra Cruxtruders, I don't know.
  • Jossed on many levels: Andrew has confirmed via Word of God that a 48 player session created the Troll Universe, the Kid's session was barren not due to not having enough players, but because of flaws inherent in the Universe that produced the Tumor, and the Trolls do not count as players from the perspective of the Alpha Session, as they are not mentioned in it's mythology at all.

While classes cannot be repeated within an individual session, a successful 12-element session can have repeats
While each element does something distinctly different, the different classes don't have all that much effect on the abilities. Having two witches instead of a witch and a sylph probably wouldn't cause any problems anywhere. And my whole pairs shenanigans (see the Wall of Text above) falls apart if Jane has been confirmed to be Maid of Life. I was previously unaware that that had been actually confirmed. As it stands in the comic, ignoring Word of God, it could still just be trolling on Hussie's part. If I recall correctly, Hussie has, in fact, trolled the readership once or twice? So classes just end up randomly distributed. This still leads to the four-alpha-kids, four-beta-kids, three-trolls, and one-awkard-slot-left-over-for-Doom situation above. Only now I can't peg the last slot as Page, which cuts at the evidence for Dave Sprite as the last player. He's still pretty doomed though.
  • Jossed: No title ever repeats in a session, and they all have meaning. The difference between a Witch and a Slyph has yet to be explained, but is seemingly very significant.

The lands in Alpha Session
If there are eight new lands, three of them will be duplicates of their respective trolls'.
  • Jossed via mistaken assumptions: there are 4 new lands and there's absolutely no indication they will be the same as the counterparts of the Troll's session, given that there is absolutely no commonality between the Troll Session Lands and the known Beta Kid Lands, aside from Frogs with Jade and Kanaya.
    • Woah woah woah. "Jossed?" While I think this theory is unlikely, Jossed means that the creator (via his work or outside statements) has invalidated it. Until the new lands are shown in the story, it can't be Jossed by anything short of Hussie saying so.
      • Which is why it says "Via mistaken assumption". Jossed here is simply being used as shorthand for "Demonstrates a lack of understanding of existing canon", and besides, the fact that there are 8 new lands has been directly Jossed. TV Tropes at any rate doesn't really have terms for that, so the term "Jossed" is sometimes used to mean the previous statement, instead of the actual definition. Not all theories fall into a straight Confirmed / Jossed dichotomy, but we've got to sort through them somehow, and these are simply the terms that exist.
      • Jossed really means "confirmed not to be true" or "confirmed false", or at least that's how WMG uses it.
    • And now the new lands have been shown to be completely different.

The Horrorterrors are
Players from previous sessions who migrated into the created Universes upon completing their game of SBURB. Their alien geometries are a side effect of their Godhoods and the twisted laws of the Furthest Ring. Alternatively, they are players from Failed Sessions, banished beyond reality as their Incinisphere deteriorates.
  • This doesn't even make sense, there's nothing in canon to support it.
  • Well, thanks for that judgement. It is a pretty wild Mass Guess, but still, it's a pretty cool idea.
    • Doesn't seem to be the case as of later canon. The Trolls and half of the kids seem to be hanging out in the Furthest Ring with no serious repercussions.
      • Throwing under Jossed because there's loads of evidence against it and nothing for it. The Wild doesn't have to be literal you know! There's a fine line between throwing out a silly theory and suggesting something that's so unlikely it's kinda dumb.

uranianUmbra is a shared account.
Yes, UU might be of ambiguous gender, and they're strongly hinted to be a girl, but there was no rule saying that their account could be run by two people who alternate between each other, a he and a she, the girl taking charge most of the time. Following this, it doesn't disturb the Male/Female ratio in the child characters.
  • This also fits the constellation of Ophiuchus, which can be subdivided into Ophiuchus himself and the snake, Serpentarius. So theoretically there can be two new characters introduced, one with the symbol of a snake and temptation, and another with the symbol of a healer.
  • And it has also been revealed that she does indeed have a "brother", so to speak, so both taking control of the computer is not that farfetched.
  • Opiuchus itself was first proposed as part of a 14-sign zodiac (the 14th sign, if you're curious, was Cetus). Note that Cetus is the denizen of Rose - see the WMG about UU and Rose below.
    • Combining with the below theory, uranianUmbra could be a human girl obsessed with Homestuck (which might remain as a webcomic, as she read about all of them through text) and she could just be roleplaying her fantroll. The reason why she knows so much is because she really doesn't, and is making most of the stuff she says up. her "brother", on the other hand, helps her use her account when she runs out of ideas to type. Also, there was a lime part and a gray part to her symbol; a troll's symbol is only the color of their blood, and trolls can't have two types of blood. Her symbol is the gray rod, which usually means mutant red blood, as Karkat (and by that extention, the whole of the human race) had. Her "brother", the trollier parts of the account, provides the Lime blood, which is why she said that her brother has a different type of blood than her. they didn't want to make seperate accounts to talk to the alphas so they combined.
  • Jossed. While UU might have two separate personalities, both of those personalities have separate accounts.
    • Until we see them interacting with each other or in the flesh, having two accounts does not necessarily imply that they aren't the same person. (undyingUmbrage could be an inverted Sock Puppet.) Also, sharing the same letters for their chumhandles might indicate two identities on the same account. Plus uu's symbol is an alternate take on an Ophiuchus sign, which links them well.
      • Still the idea that the account uranianUmbra is a shared one is rather conclusively Jossed. The idea behind the WMG was pretty close though!

UU has some relation to Aradia
A few people have made River Song comparisons with UU. River is a time traveling archeologist. Also, uracil base pairs with adenine in RNA, meaning the counterpart to UU would be AA.
  • UU is much more closely related to Karkat.

UU and her "brother" were killed by the Beta Trolls win the Beta session
Somebody above pointed out that Ophiuchus was originally proposed as a 14-sign zodiac that also included Cetus. When we first meet Eridan and Feferi, they're killing a whale lusus. It's possible that this was the lusus of UU's "brother", who will be based off of the sign of Cetus. The two of the where originally killed by either Eridan or Vriska, and somehow the two of them escaped/were brought back to life by the Scratch, and are now under the guise of gaining trust with the Alpha Kids. UU might use her trusted position to tell them that the Beta Trolls are enemies that they need to defeat. What's more is that UU's session could have more than just her "Brother", and include several other trolls who were killed by the Betas.
  • Seemingly Jossed. They apparently exist in a universe many iterations of Sburb down the line from the Alpha Universe

UU's "brother" is the MSPA Reader.
In keeping with the idea that UU Represents the fandom, she could represent the Hivebent fandom, specifically, which is why she has "different colored blood" than her "brother". He, on the other hand, represents the Kid/Miscellaneous fandom, and winds up on Derse thanks to his suicidal tendencies. why suicidal? Take a look at this. It also keeps with their brother/sister theme, with both representing an aspect of the fandom.
  • Jossed. He's the anti-fans of Homestuck.

UU's 'brother' is the "Let me tell you about HOMESTUCK" meme guy
He's only playing because he has to, he was tricked, or he's trying to be a good brother and playing along with his deluded fangirl sister.
  • Jossed

Post-scratch Earth is Pre-Scratch Alternia.
Upon wiping out all the humans, the Condesce, having already realized the anguish of losing her species once, turns her new troll society into a peaceful land where all their dreams may come true. Unfortunately, she's didn't account for the planet to get another chance to play S Burb, which will be English's punishment for her abandoning her mission to destroy that universe.
  • Jossed via mistaken assumption: Word of God directly stated that Pre-Scratch Alternia was created by a 48 player session of unknown species. However, the players of that session didn't originate from it, and possibly came from the Condesce's Earth. The mystery Pisces Troll in particular seems to hail from a place that looks strikingly similar to a flooded city.
    • Nothing for the formspring is canon unless confirmed in the comic, especially stuff from ages before it is pertinent.
      • Andrew has mentioned this on the MSPA Forums, Tumblr, Formspring, and directly in comic with Karkat referring to the 48 zodiac symbols of Alternia, which Word of God also says are the subconscious echoes of memories of the players who created the universe. It is canon. Besides, a lot of stuff from Formspring is canon; Andrew is a Teasing Creator yes but his statements can be pretty reliably trusted.

Jake is Pre-Scratch Grandpa Harley.
Here's the thing: It's never explains where Grandpa went during his travels. Possibly, while he was running away when he was 13 years old, Lord English or "Betty Crocker" came by, abducted the boy, brought him into the alternate universe with them, dumped him on an island and, like Jane, brainwashed him, only this time brainwashing him into thinking he was Jake English; however, it only worked partially, as he still speaks the slang of his time and still has a thing for blue ladies, though now amplified into having a thing for blue skinned ladies.
  • Except that doesn't make any sense; Jake as the Page of Hope must be created from the Alpha Session, as every other player thus far has been.
    • What about the pre-Scratch trolls?
      • Their story hasn't been fully explained, hence the "every other player thus far"
  • Apparently Jossed by Rose's exposition. While they are identical, they both seem to be their own separate entities.

The kids will perform pre-entry prototyping, but it will not affect their own session's parts directly
Rather, it will alter the Rings and Battlefield that the Beta kids, Jack, and PM are bringing with them. Reason to suspect this, besides the lack of orbs on the Alpha ring we saw? In [S] Seer: Descend, there was a book that discussed the implications and potential consequences of adding more spheres to the Queen's ring, which goes on to tempt fate by commenting that this will never happen, as there are only 4 heroes.
  • That was just a comment on the Troll's session.
    • Maybe. Maybe not. Never count out a Chekhov's Gun in Homestuck.
  • So far Jossed for Jane. Three more to go.
    • Jossed by Rose.

The "Years Later" is three years later
Three years, of course, being the time for the protagonists of acts 1-5 to get there.
  • It's probably more on the order of 11 given the Arc Number. The use of "But not many" seems to be misleading as well; Dirk refers to Jake and Jane's contemporary culture as ancient history, so it could be as much as 1111 years in the future.
    • Unlikely. Roxy and Dirk still refer to their dead guardians as "Mom" and "Bro". If their guardians really were THAT FAR in the past, I'd imagine they'd use more distant terminology.
    • It is 413-ish. Original WMG Jossed.

The U session spawns the pre-scratch Trolls
It's specifically said (albeit by Doc Scratch) that one of the reasons for the pre-scratch Troll's failure is that they were spawned in a session separate to their own. UU and uu make their own session, meaning they would be apart from all others known. While it's said that, yes, Lord English does make this happen through "a subtle glitch", but it's very possible this is exactly how this glitch manifests.
  • Given Rose's exposition about the Scratch, this does not seem to be the case.

Heatrs Boxcars is someone important in the Black Hierarcy.
Because we know how important Sovereign Slayer/Spade Slick is (he was the archagent, second only to the royalty), and Draconian Dignitary/Diamond Dregs and Courtyard Droll/Clubs Duece both appear in both universes. But Hearts Boxcars hasn't appeared as a Dersian agent yet, which may hint at something big. Maybe even Head Black (aka the Black King, sans ring).
  • Yes he has. He's the Hegemonic Brute, a Joke Character who's been decapitated both times he's appeared. Besides we know what Kings look like, and HB looks completely different.

The new trolls that have been repeatedly speculated at will colonize Alpha Earth.
Betty Crocker/the Condesce is clearly working to remake Earth in her own race's image (or at least, her own spot on the hemospectrum). It could be a suitable place for the recreated trolls to find a home. More radically, this could be home to uranianUmbra and undyingUmbrage; UU has said some things that suggest otherwise, but it explains the similarity between her and Calmasis.
  • Jossed directly by Dirk.

Mystery Troll Girl is future!Vriska
The Beta Session kids and trolls are all going to age up 3 years before meeting the Alpha Session kids. Therefore, the present for the Alpha Session is the future for the Beta Session. So in Jake's dreambubble/void space/whatever, he's seeing Vriska, who died three years ago in his present, and thus looks different.
  • Hairstyle has never been shown to change with aging.
    • Trolls don't have fashion either. Is it really that shocking that she might get a haircut after hanging out with John for who knows how long and getting a new set of clothes and glasses?
      • Nobody in Homestuck has ever gotten a haircut. Hairstyle is kind of a Distinguishing Mark, being consistent between infants to adults and between alternate universes.
      • Oddly enough, the same updates that Joss this WMG also Joss the haircut notion, since Meenah and Aranea have different haircuts from the Condesce and Mindfang. Due to how the Scratch works, they must have had identical haircuts as children, meaning someone did change.
      • That might be invalidated by the fact that their blood color and horns remain the same; something that for trolls is far more important.
  • Jossed. She's a new troll named Aranea, and says she's Vriska's (and Terezi's) Ancestor.

This troper now has this idea of The Grand Highblood ruling Earth while The Condesce is in The Medium. Heck, he'd probably serve Lord English willingly, since English is his mirthful messiah.
  • Makes sense to me. Maybe not other ancestors in particular being there, but Roxy had to get troll lingo from somewhere, and someone has to be populating those red coral/knife cities. I was gonna guess mostly sea dwellers, but it could be the whole hemospectrum.
    • There were no B2 trolls by the time the Condesce returned to Alternia. The Handmaid was the sole remaining survivor and the Condesce killed her. I understand that's why there's the indication of time travel, but we also know causes of death for many of the Ancestors. Sufferer, Summoner, Disciple, Dolorosa, Dualscar, Psiionic, and Redglare's deaths were all directly shown or mentioned, and there's no indication English could or did form a time travelling troll army, as to Alternians, he's basically their cultural personification of death.
      • Furthermore, and more on topic, the Condesce could easily have gathered genetic material and used it. She entered the Incipisphere for some reason; maybe it was to snag the ectobiology stations and make tons of wrigglers. Roxy also is implied to have picked up troll lingo not from any living trolls, but overhearing dreambubbles, given she and the AR alone use it and it baffles Dirk. There's also no indication the Red cities are inhabited! Remember Doc Scratch's apartment was surrounded by tons of buildings? Canonically there's seemingly nobody living in them, as unlike Midnight City, no indication is ever given that people live there.
      • Dirk wasn't necessarily baffled by his AR's use of "pail." We didn't get any of the conversation past the pun to see. The dreambubble theory is just one everyone came up with before we learned that they lived in a future that has at least one troll out in the open. There are other possibilities now.
      • Back to the Ancestors, while we do know the deaths of many of the Ancestors, the Grand Highblood was not one of them, and he'd at least fit as an underling of Death. Plus, there were whole legions of unseen trolls roaming their universe for centuries, so the Ancestors aren't the limit as to who could be "taken by Death."
      • The Vast Glub uttered by Feferi's lusus ensures the destruction of any troll not of her blood color. There's no evidence that Condescension's ability to extend life could save them from it- Psiioniic was killed by a combination of exhaustion and, the Vast Glub. Condesc was explicitly unable to save him, so there's no chance that Grand Highblood would have been able to survive it even if he was present on her ship. However, if somehow she was in possession of a matriorb or mothergrub, there's no reason to assume she could not have bred new trolls. I don't think this is likely however (where would she GET genetic material- assuming it's a reproductive fluid- besides herself, and I doubt based on her personality that she'd want a bunch of tyrian bloods roaming her planet) and it's extremely safe to assume that Condescension is the only remaining B2 troll besides the surviving players of sGrub.
  • Jossed by Dirk.

uranianUmbra is the pre-scratch Karkat.
  • Think about it, if Karkat wasn't a mutant his blood would've been a lime green, the same colour shown on UU's rod. All pre-scratch trolls seem to be inversions of their post-scratch selves, and so the grumpy Karkat becomes the overly nice UU. Exept that UU's female. eh.
    • Jossed as UU's horns have already been shown to not match the Sufferer's.

uu has indigo blood.
There was something about the way he started babbling about Lil Cal and juju. It sounded like something Gamzee might talk about.
  • Based on his symbol, he seems to have candy red for additional connections to Karkat.
  • Jossed by UU, he has candy red blood.

The Alpha universe is what the Pre-Scratch Trolls would have earned if they hadn't failed, plus one Condesce.
Seeing as how Scratching the Alternian and Beta sessions both caused the ancestors/players to switch places, and that the new universe is supposed to be based at least to some degree on the players, then it seems plausible that the Troll Ancestors' reward would be a universe where the Beta Kids' Ancestors would be the player characters. The ghost trolls are the ghosts of the pre-scratch ancestors dropping by to see what they could have won, and the Pre-Scratch Condesence is just naturally crazy (going by Equius' comment about how Trolls tend to be more bloodthirsty the higher up on the hemospectrum they go, with Feferi being an extreme exception to the rule and their pre-Scratch Ancestors being in a more peaceful setting and thus likely to calmed/treated, possibly in a moirailish manner) and happens to like the idea of an alternate version of her being the wicked ruler of untold billions.
  • Jossed via a misunderstanding of the Scratch. Ordinarily the only difference between a Scratched universe and it's pre-Scratch companion is the order the Ectobabies were sent in, and the resultant differences because of that. For instance, as you point out, pre-Scratch Alternia was likely peaceful because Feferi was Empress instead of the Condesce, and likewise the viciousness of the post-Scratch Alternia empire was in large part shaped by the Condesce, though Doc Scratch's influence shouldn't be discounted. The abnormal source of other differences on Alpha Earth is the Condesce. In all physical respects, the universes are basically identical.

Meenah's Master plan was to become royalty.
Probably an obvious one, but when Meenah mentions her plan working and that it probably had to do with the scratch; I got thinking. The troll's world was as peaceful as it was because Feferi was in power, and was willing to give up that power to bring harmony to their alien world, right? So what if Meenah wanted that power? To be the ruler of all trolls? Then the way she could've gotten that power, was by replacing Feferi as the Condence in that age. Since the scratch pretty much just switches the time location of the ancestors with that of the off-spring, maybe Meenah's master plan was to keep the caste system so she could be queen.
  • Only Meenah would never be queen, only her alternate. When she says plan, she probably is referring to the Scratch. Remember, John and the Beta Kids pulled off the Scratch without even knowing what it did, only that it would reset and save the session. It's entirely possible the Pre-Scratch Trolls did the same thing, without knowing about the whole ectobaby switcheroo.
    • Meenah doesn't have to know that. If she made a deal with Doc Scratch or English, she could be led to believe SHE, herself would become queen.
      • LE at least has never contacted anyone directly; it's not in his nature. Doc however might have tricked her. Aranea seems to suggest that while Meenah was a real pain in the rump, she wasn't outright evil though.
  • Jossed: In fact the opposite is true, the reason why Meenah played the game in the first place was to AVOID becoming ruler.

The Bunny Went God Tier
Liv Tyler/Terry Kiser was on a quest Bed when it dies, you cannot convince me this didn't happen. It was Dave's Quest Bed and the bunny had already gone through plenty of time shenanigans, maybe it developed time powers, idk.
  • "the bunny didn't make it."

uranianUmbra is Karkat's descendant
According to the character sheet, UU swaps the 6's in Karkat's typing color for 9's, in terms of hex codes; the two are also similar-but-different in their approach to those they talk to (Jane and Jake for UU, Jade and John for CG). UU also mentions that she wants to know who her ancestor is, paralleling Karkat, who is not sure he even has an ancestor. If the trolls and the humans get into Universe C (following UU's name scheme), and Jane uses her stuff to recreate the matriorb, there could be trolls living in Universe C and playing Sgrub there. UU would then be a player in that session (the Hero of Space, probably, since she is awake early on Prospit, like Kanaya and Jade, without the trauma that awoke Terezi-hmm...). Her prospit-knowledge (or maybe something else) would tell her about what happened in the past, and what she has to do to help make herself happen.

UU will be a Hero of Doom.
Given the current dead/not dead state of Sollux, the Heart and Void titles may not be the only titles that are unaccounted for. Since (according to her chatlog), UU is also playing the game (whether in the pre-scratch troll session or a different session entirely), she may end up filling in the empty title slot. It would also be incredibly ironic for her to get the "Doom" title, given her optimistic persona.
  • Or appropriate, given the "she's actually a villain" theories.
    • Or appropriate if heroic because, as Kanaya said, the game likes to challenge people to grow in new directions. We also don't know what "doom" powers are other than maybe Sollux's ability to hear the soon-to-be dead, but they might not be all that bad since they're meant to belong to a hero.
      • Or appropriate if she has lime-green blood, a la the color of The Felt members and Lord English. Especially if there is a deeper connection there.
    • Or it could be using doom in the original destiny/fate sense, which fits her thematically. Remember her constant warnings of casual spoilers and not wanting to change things?
  • Going along with this, UU will be a hero of doom, while uu will be a hero of Rage.
  • According to standard session rules, in a two player session, one will be a Hero of Space and one will be a Hero of Time. The only apparent loophole is if UU and uu are in fact the same person, in which case they might simply be a single Hero of Doom, as Sollux also displayed duality.
    • Also, if you think about it, all of the other trolls had unique aspects, separate from one another (ignoring those who are Scratch counterparts). But Sollux was the Gemini troll- there's a precedent for two trolls to share his aspect!
  • Jossed. UU is the Muse of Space.

UU will be a Hero of Life.
The overt symbolic connection between her pseudo-caduceus symbol / her horns and a DNA double-helix / the wavy tendril of the Life symbol make this one a good fit too.
  • Jossed. Muse of Space.

Either UU or uu will be a Hero of Rage.
Gamzee had to reach God Tier somehow. He probably died on one of their quest beds.
  • The most logical explanations are a) that's not Gamzee (somehow), b) he's somehow wearing the God Tier outfit without actually going god-tier, or c) there's a third, as-yet-unrevealed way to go god tier.
  • Jossed.

UU is Calmasis, and is a son or grandson of Skaia, or something similar
AH in Troll makeup Calmasis UU's sleaves My guess is that UU is the same race AH and Charles s Dutton are (mentioned on the wiki as the son and respectively grandson of Skaia), and posesses similar traits. Also Calmasis is an 8 letter word (same as with the ancestors), while Andrew Hussie is 6/6 (just like regular trolls). Predicant Scholar is 9/7 and sounds a lot like a Prospitian/Dersite name. I have no idea if this is significant in any way whatsoever.
  • Going with the previous guess, this could imply that UU is somehow related to the MSPA Reader who may or may not be the brother she was talking about.
  • Oh for the love of... 20 bucks say he's reading this.
  • Jossed with the revelation of UU's species.

UU's class is the Sylph.
All of the titles revealed so far in the Alpha version of the universe had only one representative prior to the Scratch. Keeping with this, it's most likely that the classes that are going to be used in the future are the Bard, Mage, Thief or Sylph. UU already stated that her class is exclusive to females in her conversation with Roxy, and that the Thief is strongly inclined to go to females but not exclusively so. Since we have a male Mage and Bard, going by the process of elimination by far the most likely class for UU to have is the Sylph.
  • Additionally, her aspect is either Rage, Doom, Blood, and Mind, all of which have only had one representative so far.
    • 2 player session implies Time or Space.
      • Unless UU and uu are actually the same person. A one-player session has not been discussed, but could very well mean Doom rather than Space.
      • Or neither of them are actually Heroes of Space or Time. The four Alpha kids didn't get either, likely because their session knows that they will be joined by other Heroes of Time and Space shortly. This makes it likely that UU and uu fall in the pool of Blood, Rage, Mind and Doom.
      • The Alpha Session is unique.
    • She's the Muse of Space

This is stupid.
I know it's very likely that Hussie is just trolling, but what if he really is UU, while uu is Spades Slick? Just think about uu's icon (a black U with a red wavy line over it). Reminds me a lot of that one time he cut his hand. Plus he currently has a mechanical red eye, while the rest of his body is black and dark gray. Not to mention he's linked to Derse, and his chumhandle contains the word "undying". Slick DOES have some trouble dying, considering all the stuff he survived.
  • I was thinking about adding a theory "UU is Ms. Paint, and uu is the MSPA Reader" but I think there was already a "uu=MSPA Reader" theory out there at the time.
  • Jossed.

UU and uu are from the A1 universe in some fashion.
My sole reason for this guess is the newest album, coloUrs and mayhem: Universe A. In the title, the letters in the "coloUrs" and "mayhem" are all 12 previously shown troll blood colors (i.e. Karkat's red but not the missing lime blood) and one gray U. 7+6 letters. The prominent gray U may be a signal that UU and uu are somehow tied to the A1 session (during or after the A1 session).
  • Don't you mean A2?
    • Nope, I mean A1, as in Meenah & Aranea's universe. All trolls in A2 were killed by the Vast Glub before the universe itself was destroyed, and since Sollux is the originator of SGRUB in A2 and only sent it to his friends, no one else could have played it.
      It's ambiguous whether or not a Scratch rewrites a session's originating universe or spawns a new one. (If multiple sessions from the same universe scratched, what would happen?) UU calls them different instances. This may mean that trolls on other planets in the same universe could play if creating A2 doesn't destroy A1 — just the SBURB session that triggered the process.
  • Jossed if UU is to be trusted. She outright states they're from a universe not remotely connected to the chain of A1->B2 sessions.
  • Truly Jossed

UU will either be a Doom or Rage player, while uu will either be Mind or Blood
That is, if he's a separate being from uu. "Undying" could involve the Doom Aspect, while Umbrage could represent the Rage Aspect. uu is most likely a Blood player, as she shares Karkat's passion for Troll Romance. Many of the characters' personalities and hobbies have somehow influenced or represented their abilites later in the game. Also, these four Aspects are the only ones that haven't been used for more than once character. Also, I left the room for a bit, and when I came back, the Edit Lock timer was at 4:13. This is a sign.
  • Got the genders/tags mixed up there?
    • Jossed by the mechanics of the game; the two of them are the only players in their session, so therefore they must be Time and Space, which are required for every Session, including unsuccessful ones.
      • I mean, Skaia knew that the Alpha session would be joined by the Beta session, so who's to say they HAVE to be Time and Space?
      • Word of God is that those are the only two necessary elements. The Alpha Session's mythology has made it completely apparent at every stage of the information given about it that it has eight players, whereas the UU session is said to only have two. If their session was going to be added to in some fashion, it would be apparent. Besides, the Alpha Session is essentially unique, as it took a ridiculously specific set of circumstances to get the Beta Kids to the Alpha Session.
    • The sole exception is if UU and uu are a single individual, in which case they might be a Hero of Doom, however that is a separate WMG already covered above.
  • All of the above is Jossed. They are the Space & Time players after all.

uu's name is English
Yes, ''the'' English. LE's time shenanigans are infamous and uu is a hero of time, possibly a Lord (see above).
  • Jossed. We have been told by Doc Scratch that English is not his true name.
Which means...

uu is a human.
That candy red blood is no mutation.
  • UU's lime green blood is a variation of that avocado-green blood that showed up in CSI (which also had an episode that featured a dude with chimera-ism, though no split personalities that I recall) - every time the uu personality goes to sleep it causes the release of chemicals that turn UU's blood green.
    • Eh, that notion runs into too many problems. Ironically enough, one of them is the biggest clue yet pointing towards the split-personality theory, just because of how long it would take them to go through the game. Also, during uu's first conversation with Dirk his personality, according to a previous WMG, started to give way to UU's - shouldn't it be the other way around?

UU is a green-blooded troll.
There's a case for her being either one of the yet unseen limeblood caste, or a uranium-green mutant. The latter would reflect Karkat's candy red through the post-Scratch world's red/green swap, while the former is a likely source of her "Limey" Commonwealth dialect.
  • I personally prefer the idea of UU being black-blooded. It's the only troll blood color we know exists that we haven't seen in a kid yet. That way we can say (s)he's the descendant/ancestor of (some version of) His Honorable Tyranny, or whatever class he would be the lusus for.
    • That assumes that His Honorable Tyranny is a troll, which I think is pretty unlikely given his size, chitinous appearance, and strange-looking head. He's probably just an intelligent monster.
      • Word of God is that he's just some big lobster monster, and not any sort of troll or lusus. Having blood off the hemospectrum entirely was Hussie's way of showing this.
    • If there's more of UU's kind they'll all have eye-shatteringly bright (acid?) blood. Additionally, all the other "cheers" have pastel-colored, sorry, coloUred blood because they're the opposite of the trolls.
    • Not only is His Honorable Tyranny not a troll, but we have Word of God that lime is the only one not accounted for so far, having been seen on the walls of the Grand Highblood's room.note note  Note that UU's caduceus symbol is lime-coloUred.
  • Assuming UU isn't lying, this WMG is confirmed.
    • She was lying by omission - she never actually called herself a troll. She may still have green blood, but she most definitely isn't a troll. Jossed.

Either UU or uu is a mutant paradox clone/descendant/ancestor of the other.
According to the chart on this page, paradox babies are sent to various points in time in pairs. If UU and uu are only playing a 2-player session, then they must be clones of each other. It would also explain why UU refers to uu as a sibling.
  • Furthermore, the Pre-Scratch troll players were a primarily (if the Pisces troll is any indication) peaceful race while the Post-Scratch troll players were extremely violent and murderous (except for Feferi, Tavros, and Gamzee when he was high). It's not a stretch to say their ancestors are polar opposites of their descendants, and when you look at the cheerful and supportive UU versus her angry and violent sibling...
    • Jossed via misunderstanding. Ectobabies are always made in pairs, even trolls, and double the number of players are produced. The UU session, having 2 players, would have 4 babies, and the two who aren't UU and uu would be their Ancestors / Biological parents. However, it could be a desynchronized session, in that one player comes from the past and the other from the future, in which case one might be the genetic parent of the other.

undyingUmbrage is a cyborg.
Here's my theory if Slick isn't uu. Since Hussie is dressed up as UU, then Slick may be (unwillingly) dressed up as uu. As the above contributor mentioned, Slick has a black & grey theme with a red eye. Maybe uu does too.
  • Pretty damn close to Jossed, including the underlying assumption.
  • Sharing the same body, this is pretty much irrelevant now.
  • Oddly enough, He wasn't a cyborg when this was posted, but now is.