WMG / Homestuck Jossed Two

    open/close all folders 

    Jack Noir/Bec Noir and Spades Slick 
Jack Noir is a red herring
Gamzee is the real Big Bad.
  • Jossed.
Spades Slick is the EXALTED RULER of the Dark Kingdom
Similar to the above, but the dark ruler also has a nasty gash in one eye. Just like the one Spades recently received.
  • Additionally, this scar was not present until the intermission. It was Retconned in after Slick got it in the MC storyline.
    • Per Word of God, the monarch's scar should always have been there. Also, Spades just got stabbed in the eye; the "scar" is blood-splatter. Hussie's messing with us.
      • Though, once his eye was mended, the stitches follow the same path that the blood-spatter did. His effigy also showed more of a gash then a stab.
      • This is true. One idea on the forums is that the eye-stabbing cracked his carapace (which may help explain the ease with which Snowman shot off his arm.
      • It's understandable that he'd have a gash rather than a simple eye wound, though— he got stabbed with a freaking lance.
Jack Noir is Spades Slick in the past
Think about it: Jack Noir and the rest of the 'Expys' have the Midnight Crew motifs on their persons, and Jack Noir himself expresses a fondness to the name. Not to mention because of Slick's recent wounds, it's highly likely that it isn't the other way around.
  • Not only that, but the Midnight Crew intermission is shown to have taken place years in the future (but not many) by the appearance of the same type of past-future communications machine that the Wayward Vagabond came across. Also, both Jack Noir and Spades Slick have barcodes on their arms.
  • Also, at the end of the intermission Slick faces a(n) (SBURB? Skaianet?) interface that allows him to communicate with one of the trolls, and it's already been established that the trolls exist in a sort of backwards chronology. Not to mention that CG appears to be early on in his adventure (still in a house, Tier 1 Kernelsprite), and Slick stated that he had talked to the CG before - possibly as Jack Noir?
    • By Word of God, Jack Noir from the kids' session is different from Spades Slicks as Spades was Jack Noir from the trolls' session.
Jack Noir will fight a Fully Prototyped Spades Slick and Wayward Vagabond
And it will be awesome.
  • Er, no. But he will fight a fully prototyped Peregrine Mendicant!
Jack Noir will kill Nannasprite
We know that they're mortal, we know that Jack's going to kill someone else, and we know that Nannasprite is nowhere to be seen when John wakes up. It just adds up.
  • Probably not. Noir hid in the Frog Temple, killed most of the exiles, got the blood on his hand from WV, and took off for the troll session without killing Nannasprite.

Spades Slick is the Bec Noir destroying Trolls' Prospit and preventing their entry into Kids' universe.
The Bec Noir that attacks the Trolls has a bloody right hand, grown back after going through the Body Horror relative to acquiring the Kids' Session Rings of Power. Remember, his right arm was cut off by Snowman during the Midnight Crew's attack upon the Felt's hideout, despite the flash suggesting the blood coming from Bro and Davesprite.
  • Why would Spades kill Karkat? They're buddies!
    • Don't forget that the Trolls exiled him too. He would probably be damn pissed about it.
  • Jossed.

Jack is a good guy.
Jack is aware of the implications of Sburb and its role in summoning Lord English. He's attempting to avoid it by subverting and destroying the mechanics of the game. This includes destroying Skaia so the kids cant use it for the ultimate alchemy, destroying Prospit so they can't get help from the denizens of light, and attempting to destroy their planets so they can't proceed. He even took steps to make sure Earth's guardian was created from an ordinary pet dog, to throw doubt on its loyalty to Lord English and to ensure that it wouldn't be smart enough to scheme the way Doc Scratch did.

I'm also guessing that he's responsible for the Rift, as a means of accessing other sessions in an attempt to disrupt them similarly.
  • I've thought about this too, and it would certainly be an interesting parallel to Spades Slick's war on Lord English and the Felt on ruined Alternia. Unfortunately, by destroying Skaia and then creating the Rift and breaking the Troll session, he would actually be bringing about the end of two universes, ending the loop and effectively summoning Lord English himself.
  • Or, Jack is just a murderous grump who wants to destroy the infrastructure of the Incipisphere so he can get on with the business of creating a world in his own image, the way Troll-Jack did as Spades Slick once he was Exiled. However, neither Jack likes the idea of Lord English horning in on his territory, and Mr.Slick's vendetta against him in the Intermission foreshadows an eventual Heel Face Turn once Lord English arrives in the Kid's session.
  • Jossed by later updates: Jack takes gleeful pride in murders and is only doing it to stave off boredom.

Jadesprite and Jack Noir will cancel each other out.
According to Vriska, Becquerel is unable to go against Derse agents. Jadesprite is partially Becquerel due to prototyping, so she couldn't hurt Jack. Similarly, Jack cannot kill Jade due to Bec's prototyping.
  • So just throw them against each other and watch them explode.
  • However, Jack is probably a good deal more powerful since he has the abilities of having four tiers (well, technically five since Jaspersprite was double prototyped before entering the medium) of prototyping on top of his first guardian powers versus Jadesprites two prototype tiers and first guardian powers. But still neither would be able to kill the other.

Spades Slick (Troll session) and Bec Noir (after having his powers toned down from the current god mode) will eventually fuse in a single Noir (or at least join forces)
This Fusion!Noir will equip the Troll section ring to his left hand, and the kids ring on his right hand, having powers from both sections. This ensures the "last boss" to be beatable, but still tougher than previous Kids!Jack, who apparently struggled to be at the same level as Bro. Alternatively, the kids and the trolls will have to team up to defeat the two Jacks, or a fusion of both. What makes me think they'll fuse? Well, they seem like polar opposites; Bec Noir (with his sprite facing right) has a scar on his right eye (AFAIK it's deep enough to make that eye blind), and doesn't have a left arm, while Slick Noir (with his sprite facing right) doesn't have his left eye and his right arm. In any other comic I would disregard this as a coincidence, but on one so rooted on symbolism as Homestuck, it really strikes to me Hussie is turning them into two halves of a whole.
  • Carapaces are not mecha; there's no inclination that they can even "fuse" like this. Moreover, Bec Noir can seemingly only travel between sessions in the Medium, and not to actual universes like where Slick is. Also Troll ring was destroyed.
    • Wrong, in that after going into the trolls' session, he attacked Billious Slick, rewatch [S] Cascade, he clearly went down to post apocalyptic Earth to attack the kids' exiles...however, you are correct on the ring bit, in fact this might be why (i've speculated so myself) Doc Scratch told them it was imperative they destroy the ring (so Bec Noir didn't also get the powers of Cthulhu...)...but the carapace bit might also be wrong, in such a way that the first person might be wrong too, in that, spades slick originally lost the OTHER ARM AND EYE, but switched which ones were missing by flipping his sprite...(it was even a plot point), and also they are chess pieces, and the same person...plus a first guardian can do practically anything, which should include absorbing a copy of themselves from an alternate universe...(and Lord English made a felt doll cue ball thing transform...so...)
      • Spades Slick seems to be dead anyways. The absorption thing is still completely ridiculous and has never remotely even been suggested.
      • Reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated. And the only reason why it hasn't been suggested is because two alternate universe counterparts haven't met each other yet, usually because said counterparts are dead. Meanwhile, it would barely even register in my top ten most ridiculous things I've encountered in Homestuck...
      • Jossed - Bec Noir and Spades Slick never meet. The closest we get is Jack English getting Spades Slick - but the two of them are more interested in killing each other.

Spades Slick will eventually enter the kids' universe and battle Jack Noir.
It will be AWESOME. Snowman will follow Slick, because why not. Jack Noir will see her, think she's his Black Queen resurrected, freak out — "Oh god oh god I fucking tore you to pieces and stomped on them and you're still here WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE I KILLED YOU" — and break down sobbing. It will be hilarious.
  • Alternately, Jackspers will promptly flip the fuck out (again) and try to kill her again, and Slick will be forced to step in and help defend Snowman.
    • Let's take this further. Noir does kill Snowman, destroying the universe they are currently in and summoning Lord English. Nice job breaking it, villain.
  • One possible variation is Spades Slick finds the ring hidden in the royal vault (if it's the same vault he's currently in), and uses its prototypes to fight against the fully prototyped Jack Noir from the kids' universe (whether or not he's actually Lord English).
    • Based off the fact that those prototypes include Feferi and Vriska's Lusus, the battle would be just like Problem Sleuth versus Demonhead Mobster Kingpin. Except you'd be rooting for Demonhead Mobster Kingpin. And they're actually the same person.
  • This is Jossed.

Spades Slick will become completely robotic, turning him into Robo-Hussie
As the story progresses, Spades Slick has gained more and more prosthetic parts, so it stands to reason that he will become a full-out robot at some point. Andrew Hussie was seen nursing him back to health after an unspecified injury, without any obvious motive. He must secretly be planning to turn Slick into his robot doppelganger.
  • Perhaps he had a premonition of his own death at the end of A 6 I 2.
  • Note that Hussie was represented by a robot doppelganger in A 6 I 1.
    • Jossed - He is killed off thanks to Dave.

The EXALTED RULER is Spades Slick's father, and Snowman is his sister
All three of them share the same features,such as the black carapace and fangs, liking of violence, the ability to hold authority over others...there is also the fact that Snowman seemingly does not want to kill Slick, going for just maiming and humiliating him instead - like an [[Chaotic Evil]] version of a brother-sister relationship. And Jack Noir (basically Spades Slick in mindset) behaves like a rebellious teenager with regards to the EXALTED RULER. The general theme of parents/guardians and their children in Homestuck also adds weight to this possibility.
  • Probably not given that Jack and the BQ canonically have hatemance that in the troll's case at least developed into genuine romance.
Jack Noir is John Egbert.
  • Jossed.
Jack Noir knows the above and is trying to stop it
What has he done so far? (Attempt to) Destroy everything associated with the game, including the armies, kings, queens, and players. Sure, he had Bec created, but making him with a dog means Bec isn't near omniscient, and a First Guardian would exist regardless.
  • Jossed again!
    • Whoops this theory got sort of mangled in reorganization. The theory above it currently is about troll gender. Let's just believe that this theory is perfectly stand alone, and presumably it will become slightly less fake as a result
When Spades Slick opened the vault, he was sent into the past, where he was crucial to rebuilding civilization
When Die switched to a timeline where Spades was dead, the world was a wasteland. This implies that Spades did something to prevent his present from being a wasteland... and that whatever it was, he hadn't done it yet. This theory would explain what that "something" was.
  • A possible extension of this theory is that the "Snowman" who cuts off his arm is actually Past!Banished Quasiroyal, before she became Snowman... who attacked Spades because she thought he was the Jack Noir who betrayed her (And that might actually be the case, but that's not what this WMG is about).
  • I'm pretty sure it's outright confirmed that they're the same Jack Noir.
    • Confirmed actually.
      • Jossed Actually!!!!
Jack will kill Lord English
See, remember the odd program sollux had on his computer? It was programed to summon Lord English as an unstoppable demon, but when Bec was prototyped, Jack became unstoppable. Thus the scratch was made, to have jack bring the end to the troll universe, and kill Lord English.

Jack will be defeated by one or both of the Egberts.
How better to beat the Ace of Spades, than with a pair of Jokers? This sort of implies that John will become vastly more competent in the field of pranking. Like, possibly to the point of executing convoluted Roulettes. I dunno, maybe it'll actually be a "Full House" joke, or something.
  • Probably not!

Related to the above, the prankster's gambit meter will be involved
Much the same as [[Problem Sleuth DMK's blood sugar/emotions meter, the only way to defeat Jack is by lowering his prankster's gambit.
  • Probably not.

Jack will kill all of the sprites and guardians, excluding Grandpa because he has to make it back to Earth to be stuffed.
  • Mom and Dad will try to stop Jack from tearing apart the now-fully-evolved Battlefield. They will fail.
    • Confirmed in a sense
  • Nannasprite will die stalling Jack so that John can escape from LOWAS.
    • This particular thing is Jossed, but the spirit behind it...maybe.
  • Jack will happen upon Jaspersprite while he is chatting with Nepeta. We will see this from Nepeta's perspective. It will be heartbreaking.
    • Jaspersprite dies during the Scratch.
  • Becsprite will sacrifice himself in an extremely grand way during the final battle. This will be required to give the kids and trolls the slightest chance of victory.
    • Probably not considering Jadesprite.

The blood on Jack's hand when he enters the troll session was Jade's
but not from killing her. she was either dead or mortally wounded, and he tried to save her.
  • This is incorrect about the blood. The blood belonged to WV as Noir ripped the chunk of Uranium out of his gut to power a teleporter. However, he not only tried to save Jade, he actually did.
woman will be speaking at this nigh centennial dinner.
Jack Noir also inherited feelings for Rose from Jaspers.
He hasn't bothered Rose at all or even set foot on the Land of Light and Rain from what we've seen so far. He had no trouble killing John and (Doomed) Dave because the Harlequin doll and Seppukrow had no real feelings for them.
  • Apparently Jossed, at least as far as symbols go, here.
    • The fact that Jack hasn't simply done his typical BAMKATANACHESTSTABDIE or BAMKATANATHROATSLASHDIE maneuver on Rose, which is well within his capabilities, suggests that for whatever reason; he is hesistant to simply kill Rose and is merely acting in self defense when met with her GRIMDARK HORRORTERROR NUKE.
      • He has shown no form of hesitation to murder Rose. What seems to be the case is that because Jaspers was dead for so long, his personality barely transfered. You could argue that Jack loves pranks because he's part jester and that would still be wrong because there's nothing in canon to support it.
      • Whoops Jack's sword there just impaled Rose, guess this one's Jossed!
      • Most likely, Bec's power made his personality more powerful, and/or Jaspers, as an independent-minded cat, wasn't really all that close to Rose.
      • That doesn't really make sense though; Jaspersprite has consistently shown himself to care a lot for Rose, although he doesn't act that much on it.
Jack's Trophy Binge is the manifestation of what he inherited, personality wise, from Davesprite.
Also: "You cannot stay mad at Cal. He is your true friend." (something like that.) And the way he decides the binge was stupid what the hell was he thinking is very similar to the "why do bones have to be so tasty!?" bit. This leads to my theory that while he has inherited personality traits from all the prototypings, they are completely random.
  • Davesprite was the second prototyping, the ring only grants the properties of the first. So neither Davesprite nor Jadesprite will influence him, that's purely his own personality at work.
    • Technically the ring only grants the properties of pre-Medium prototypings (hence why both of Rose's prototypings affect the Medium), but otherwise this is correct.

The Bec Noir that screwed up the trolls' session didn't actually come from the kids' session.
One of the side effects of a glitched session is that, even if you cause the Scratch, the post-scratch players are doomed never to enter the universe they create, because something from the pre-Scratch session will make it through the Scratch and prevent them from entering. "Bec Noir" is actually an artifact of the trolls' ancestors' session, and may in fact be Lord English; why he's prototyped the exact same way as the kids' Noir is unknown.
  • It could be from another planet's session, too, though.
  • Jossed by [S] Cascade

Spades will reform the Midnight Crew
Well, that is if he survived the death of the universe. As you can remember, Hearts Boxcars was shunted into an entirely different calender, and Diamonds Droog was transported a week into the future and could have avoided the disaster that befallen everyone else. Spades would find someway to get into the horse calender Hearts Boxcars is stuck in, and he could simply wait to meet up with Diamonds Droog. Clubs Deuce in the meantime could have been rescued by Itchy. They're both Minion with an F in Evil, so they could possibly be friends or something.
  • Jossed: The universe is shown to be completely destroyed save for Doc's apartment floating in a void.

Spades Slick is Jack prototyped with the blue doll as per John's original intentions
Anyone else notice that Spade's Slick is missing the same arm as the doll that John originally intended to prototype Jack with? Bonus fridge logic: this seems to suggest that everything we've seen since this point in time is non-alpha timeline
  • Wow. That doesn't make sense in any department.
    • He is from the Troll's session. John is obviously not a troll, so his prototypings wouldn't affect SS in any way.
    • Spades doesn't have a ring and is not an underling. Prototyping can't happen.
    • We freaking saw Snowman stab his eye out and tear his arm off.
      • Dogpile Jossed.

Spades Slick's robo-arm and eye patch originally belonged to Vriska.

It's likely that he found her corpse (the one with the robo-arm that was left behind when she fled Alternia) and tore off the arm to use as his own. But if you're wondering how he outfitted it if it's the wrong arm....HE JUST FLIPPED HIS SPRITE TURNWAYS.
  • Her corpse is in the Medium, and likewise Equius's hive and her hive are also in the Medium.

Jack Noir is not Evil
He somehow, perhaps with the fourth prototyping, became aware that he was inhabiting a null session. Everything he has done is what he has to do to make the kids' session non-null
  • Sure doesn't clear him of his blowing up of Prospit and the Battlefield when he had only three prototypes.
    • Somewhat Jossed, somewhat true. Although he's not trying to fix the session, he's actually the anthropomorphic form of the 'Cancer' of the kids session, so he can't completely be blamed for his actions.
      • That's just Karkat's theory, not necessarily the unvarnished truth. *** Regardlesss of his status one way or the other, he still relishes murdering people.

Rose succeeds in destroying the Green Sun, but Bec Noir retains Space powers due to Dream Jade's prototyping.
In [S] Wake and others, Noir is seen wielding space abilities without wearing sunglasses to protect his eyes from the Green Sun. Rose's plan works, and the Sun is destroyed, but because Jade is the Witch of Space, she has access to Space abilities without need of the Sun. As Dream Jade is still Jade, by transitive property, Noir will retain his Space powers after the Green Sun's demise, ditching the glasses as a sign he does not need to wear them.
  • Pre-Jossed, based on factual error: Post-entry prototyping doesn't have an effect. Otherwise we'd have Nanna, Dave, and Jade-faced imps running around.

Jack had an ulterior motive besides just power for taking the Black Queen's ring.
Bro's glasses, Lil Cal, now the hat, pipe and scarf? Jack takes trophies from all his kills. His first just happened to make him into a deity.
  • The trophy binges were just a bit of the crow prototyping peeking through.

     Exiles, Monarchs and Other Carapaces 

Former Players
As mentioned before, there's a theory that players become the monarchs of the two factions once they reach Skaia. Therefore, the monarchs of the two kingdoms are former players that were divided once they reached Skaia. Two wanted to destroy it for all the trouble it caused and the other two wanted to protect it despite this. The Dark ones were banished back to Derse. So that means that the Carapaces are a race that played Sburb before the humans.

Now stick with me, it gets a little crazy here.

The kids reach Skaia and do the same thingnote . The Carapaces are then allowed to rebuild on Earth. Meanwhile, the Trolls are the next players of Sburb. Knowing that the Trolls are able to screw around with time, the Dark and Light Kingdoms both ask the Trolls to influence their past selves in an attempt to break the cycle. They are ultimately successful, although the Trolls' planet is still destroyed. The Kids use Skaia to create a new planet for them.
  • Interesting extrapolation, but further exploration of the game's mechanics thoroughly disproved this theory.

A train of thought on Exiles, Skaian socioformation and the purpose of everything
  • The Exiles are seeded on ruined worlds to rebuild them.
    • Confirmed, but to rebuild their own society and eventually at some point in the future play Sburb again.
  • Each Exile is associated with a single Skaian Vault.
    • There are hundreds or dozens of exiles per game, but only 5 are exiles that actually affect the game and have terminals.
  • The barcode on the Exile's wrist functions as a private key their vault.
    • Slick's terminal is the only one shown yet to have this function
  • Spades Slick planned the assault on Lord English's estate to regain access to his vault.
    • Unlikely, he seemed surprised by what was in the vault and he was killing all the felt too.
  • Each vault has a link to a single Sburb player earlier in the world's timeline.
    • Confirmed-ish but they can switch around easily.
  • Each Exile is programmed to obsess over a certain aspect of society (mayorship, mail, law, organised crime) to facilitate rebuilding.
    • Their obsessions don't seemingly have much to do with rebuilding, PM becomes Queen and WV becomes a fighter instead of Mail Lady or Mayor.
  • The goal of our heroes is to break this vicious cycle.
    • Not yet, but we'll see.
  • Some of this may be true, but so far with the Vaults...probably not. Exiles are indeed programmed but only in the game sense as they are essentially NPCs. Jack and WV especially represent two methods of removing the final bosses prior to fighting them, although WV's rebellion removing the Black King is apparently much harder to pull off than Jack's Operation Regisurp to remove te Black Queen.
In which we speculate wildly about the exile's origins
  • The Wayward Vagabond was once an Archagent, famous for for his harsh and unwavering agentship. He did not tolerate failure — his exports of Woe and Oppression were always well above quota. Some say there was a terrible accident. Others that the pressures of his job caused his mind to snap. All we know is that one day he was found scrawling antiroyalist slogans on his cubicle walls while singing La Marseillaise. To avoid embarrassments, his underlings did the only humane thing, and threw him out into the desert to die.
    • Jossed. He was a Warweary Villein, who staged a Revolution against the Black and White royalty because of the war. He was also the only survivor of said revolution since Jack killed all of the other revolutionaries
  • The Peregrine Mendicant was a war hero, champion of the Light Kingdom, instrumental in driving back the forces of Darkness in a thousand ferocious battles. Then the war ended, and she found she could never return home. 'We can't face this terrifying person!' the people of the Light Kingdom cried. 'Send her away, and her sword of darkness too!' The Peregrine marched voluntarily into exile to serve her people.
    • Jossed. She was a Mailwoman, the Parcel Mistress. she went into exile after Jack demanded of her to deliver the crowns of the White King and Queen to him. She did, however, slay the Hegemonic Brute.
  • The yellow wanderer had a different name... until the day his family was gunned down by playing card-themed mobsters. On that day, he understood that there was no justice in the world but that you dispensed one bullet at a time. He became an instrument of punishment to punish evildoers for their crimes — he became the Aimless Renegade!
    • Jossed. He was an Authority Regulator, which basically amounts to a policeman. Hence his clothing made of caution tape.
A train of thought on the exiles, Skaian socioformation, etc.
  • The Spades/Trolls universe is another iteration of the Homestuck universe in which there were 12 survivors.
    • Jossed.
  • Their purpose is to rebuild the world to a buzzing hive of Imagination. Sadly, this only attracts the next round of meteors.
    • Jossed, Skaia doesn't work like that.
The exiles exiled themselves for not fitting their native societies
The Wayward Vagabond and Aimless Renegade are both believers in democracy and the rule of law, which makes them misfits in a Dark Kingdom under the thumb of a Glorious Monarch. Likewise, the Peregrine Mendicant is impulsive and sword-packing, which would not fit a (hypothetical) Light Kingdom of blissed-out contemplatives.
  • Jossed

The fourth exile will have a monetary theme
She will wear a robe of stapled-together greenbacks to fit the four elements colour scheme.
  • More specifically, her civic obsession will be taxation.

The Midnight Crews' names and suits have to do with their relationships with the Black Queen
  • Spades Slick is her Kismesis. This is canon.
  • Clubs Deuce was their Auspistice.
  • Diamonds Droog was her Moirail.
  • Hearts Boxcars felt he was her Matesprit...but then she married the Black King.
    • May be partially Jossed. This page suggests Doc Scratch is their Auspistice.
    • She doesn't even seem to be aware of the rest of the Crew in the Kid's session. They're Jack's underlings, so she doesn't pay attention to them.

The Felt/Midnight Crew are the troll equivalent of the Light/Dark kingdoms
Just as Black will triumph over White in the Kids' world, in the trolls' world, Black will triumph over Green. Jack Noir and Spades Slick aren't the same person, but parallel personas present in the kids'/trolls' game. Thus, Spades Slick is the trolls' game's version of Jack Noir (and possibly WV, as both the exiles and the Midnight Crew have ordered their respective players around). Lord English is the equivalent of the White King, and the Felt are the equivalent of the White "team," which would also tie in their time-based abilities to the trolls' temporal weirdness. This also means that the trolls' game may be dangerously close to ending on a linear timeline, seeing as everyone except Slick, Snowman, Lord English, and possibly Mayonaka are dead.
  • Mayonaka isn't even canon (yet). Hopefully he won't be, because he seems to give off strong vibes of a being a Villain Sue.
  • Half-confirmed, but mostly jossed. Spades Slick is the trolls' game's version of WV, and the future version of their Jack Noir. Lord English and the Felt, however, are something else entirely. Mayonaka will never be canon.

Bec Head Base was gathered by the survivors of prospit
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004838 and http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004839 show the base being built from several pieces from around the world, maybe it was retrieved by the many servants of prospit? Even better if Ms.Paint shows up.
  • I figured the pieces got scattered when Becsprite (presumably) blew up the giant meteor over Jade's house. The only thing that reassembled it was when WQ turned the switch on the main unit.
    • The above is correct, the WMG is Jossed.
There are agents of Prospit with the initials PS, AD, and PI
We haven't seen them yet because they managed to get stuck in their own offices.
  • This is stupid.
  • CONFIRMED IN OPENBOUND!!!!!! Befire being immediately Jossed.

The cast of Problem Sleuth are either Prospitian exiles from the Trolls' session, or descendants thereof.
The reason the Midnight Crew are non-canon for them is because of Felt-related timeline shenanigans.
  • They're human, not Prospitians. There's a difference in the way the crew is drawn in PS as to how they appear in HS, they seem more overtly like chess pieces. This is best seen with Spades Slick.

The Draconian Dignitary is going to pilot Derse's moon into the Green Sun.
Tired of Bec Noir's antics, and knowing that the kids ultimately have a better chance of defeating him than he does, DD is going to kick Rose out of the moon and pilot it himself. 2x Armageddon Reference Combo!
  • Jossed by [S] Cascade

Diamonds Droog/Draconian Dignity knows the most about Lord English and his plans
Since "Cuestick Genius" is part of his Leitmotif.

Draconian Dignitary is secretly an agent for Lord English
It's why he paradox-cloned Bec.
  • Jossed.

All the Midnight Crew as exiles control more than one troll.
Like how Snowman has both Terezi and Vriska to command. Two of them might have three instead, though. Who the other trolls are:
  • Diamonds Droog has Aradia (Canon) and Kanaya (Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend)
  • Spades Slick has Karkat (Canon) and Eridan (no explanation for this one, he's just a leftover)
  • Clubs Deuce has Sollux (Canon) and Gamzee (they are both quite silly)
  • Hearts Boxcars has Tavros (Canon), Equius (strength) and Nepeta (both apparently share an interest in romance)
  • Snowman has Vriska and Terezi (Canon), as well as Feferi (both royalty)
  • Doesn't really seem to work out; like Snowman showed and WV briefly attempted during his introduction, what is more likely is that the Midnight Crew advised a bunch of different trolls at different points in time.

The Wayward Vagabond is from the future of Skaia, where John has become king
It was stated when he was first introduced that this takes place "years in the future, but not many". His hatred of kings may stem from John tipping the balance in Skaia to the side of Light and setting himself up as king. If this is the case, WV may simply not have made the connection between John and the king yet. If this is true, expect a portal-like twist later on when WV realizes what is going on and tries to kill John by telling him to do stupid things.
  • Also, if the speculation that WV is actually a shale imp is true, it would give him another reason to hate John for beating them to Skaia in the game.
    • Jossed by later canon.

The Exiles are going to travel to the past, where they will ally with the kids and trolls.

There will be three more exiles that will play a major role in the story
Why? Becuase 4-1-3; WV, PM, AR, and WQ, then WK, then the next three exiles. Furthermore, this dovetails with apparent Word of God about Snowman being the eighth exile; she and two others (possibly members of the Midnight Crew) will come from the Trolls' session.
  • Jossed, the eight exile bit was just a reference to the order Snowman was introduced in, after three of the Midnight Crew and 4 of Earth's Exiles. All said there are currently 10 exiles, not 8, and there seems to be a pattern in that 4 are relatively related and the fifth is more of an anomaly.

The Writ Keeper has some sort of knowledge of the Trolls
As said here, "Complacency of the Learned" is a representation of Rose's subconscious mind telling the origins of her universe - ie the Trolls. If the Writ Keeper can pick up on that (likely given him being the former White King)...well, now we know why the Writ needs a Keeper!
  • It would do him little to no good, given that he won't be able to interact with them except indirectly, and the Kids know plenty about the trolls.

6 Exiles!?
Can only Carapaces become "exiles" or is it any living game construct that is sent out of session technically becomes an exile? If the latter is the case then we have WV, PM, AR, WQ, WK and last to be considered is Serenity the firefly.
  • This is incredibly silly.
  • There are a few dozen to a hundred "exiles" in any given session; the Trolls had enough to populate a city and WQ brought a ship with her. The term "Exile" is completely a fan creation and has no bearing on canon. Nevertheless, it seems that only 5 in any given session advise the players via terminals, and by that logic, Serenity doesn't qualify because she can't type.
    • WQ was introduced with the command "Fourth Exile: Suddenly appear." So "exile" isn't entirely a fan term.
      • Still; only 5 exiles of relevance in a given session (the other Earth Exiles never appeared after a brief cameo and the other Alternian exiles are never seen period.)

PM will give WV the white ring.
  • The ring will bring him back to life. He will then defeat Jack Noir, and set up the first Democratic Republic of Skaia in the reset session.
    • Rings don't have that ability.

PM will go to meet up with the remaining trolls and the two kids with them.
  • Why is she watching them with her Bec powers? Maybe because she thinks they can help her somehow...
    • OK, I stand corrected. WV is going to the trolls and kids himself, according to the most recent update. Though highly likely for the same reasons I supported this WMG with in the first place.

The Exiles of the Post-Scratch Earth session will be Prospit versions of the Problem Sleuth Heroes
Reading through the wiki I have noticed there are many things that connect the Pre and Post Scratch to other, as well as connections to the Post Scratch Troll session, mostly in parallels and similarities. This could extended to the thematic elements of their respective Exiles as well. The Troll session had the Midnight Crew as their Exiles which correlates to Alternian culture: Heavy violence and bloodshed where hatred and love are considered one and the same, thus Alternia ended up having violent gangsters from Derse as its Exiles. Going by this logic, it would make sense that the Exiles of the Alpha session would instead be made up of a group of four heroic gumshoes all hailing from Prospit, possibly all under the employ of the White Royalty.

Problem Sleuth himself would be the foil to Jack Noir, Ace Dick to Clubs Deuce, and Pickle Inspector to Diamond Droog. Only problem would be finding someone who shares a large enough similarity to Hearts Boxcars......
  • Andrew has Jossed this one, expressing strong distaste for theories about the PS crew showing up.

Jailbreak and Problem Sleuth is the future of the Alpha Session
As evidenced by the pumpkin disappearifyings; Jake has been appearifying them from the past all along. The Problem Sleuth characters are all Exiles, while the Jailbreak characters are an evolved form of the Prospitians. Meanwhile, the Midnight Crew that's pestering Team Sleuth is the Alpha Session's version of the Derse agents.
  • Jossed.

Hearts Boxcars is someone important in the Black Hierarcy.
Because we know how important Sovereign Slayer/Spade Slick is (he was the archagent, second only to the royalty), and Draconian Dignitary/Diamond Dregs and Courtyard Droll/Clubs Duece both appear in both universes. But Hearts Boxcars hasn't appeared as a Dersian agent yet, which may hint at something big. Maybe even Head Black (aka the Black King, sans ring).
  • Yes he has. He's the Hegemonic Brute, a Joke Character who's been decapitated both times he's appeared. Besides we know what Kings look like, and HB looks completely different.

In the kids' game, the white can defeat the black because of how screwed up everything has gotten.
After all, black always beats white... but hell, at this point, the game board is practically smashed. And that's why Doc Scratch wants Rose to cause the Scratch - it will reset everything, so that black is ensured to win again.
  • By triggering the Reckoning, Black has won already.

The Dark Kingdom will win the war, but it will be a hollow victory.
The White Queen's sudden abdication indicates that the Light Kingdom is very willing to make unpleasant sacrifices for the greater good. If they continue in this fashion, it seems likely that they will be willing to surrender to the Dark Kingdom, but do so in such a way that the Dark Kingdom gains nothing (or at least not what they really wanted) from their "victory".
  • Sort of Jossed. Everybody loses, except for Jack and his lackeys. Of course, since the Exiles are still alive, this might change. ** Jossed completely; Jack wins for Derse and assumes control of it.

The Queens and Kings are special.
Only they can use the rings or scepters safely. If anyone else attempts, they suffer With Great Power Comes Great Insanity. Like, say Jackspers Noirlecrow. Why, hello there, Jack!
  • Jossed apparently. Jack isn't insane. Moreover WV apparently will use the White Ring with no real consequences to his sanity.
    • More like PM will.

The Black King is trapped within Skaia.
Derse wants to destroy Skaia to at last release their GLORIOUS MONARCH and fix the kingdom that has been laid to waste under the rule of the Black Queen. However, enraptured with the infinite creative potential of Skaia, the king began creating a story about four children who play a video game together, and interrupting him might lead to some disastrous repercussions... What I'm getting at is that Andrew Hussie is the Black King.
  • Jossed unless the king lost a lot of weight and got a tan.
Prospit will win (or rather, has won) against Derse in the trolls' session of the game.
Karkat has told John that both the Black Queen and Jack Noir were exiled in the trolls' game, and that they killed the Black King, but nothing was said about the White Queen or the White King. Without a ruler, the armies of Derse would likely fall apart, giving Prospit, assuming they still have a ruler, a strong upper hand. The game might even end in favor of Prospit just because the trolls killed the Black King, since the battle on Skaia is based on chess and in chess a player loses if the King is put in checkmate, although that doesn't seem as likely, since the game continued for the kids' even after Jack killed the Black King. Then again, Jack seemed to become the new king after that. Aditionally, Nanna told John that "light is always destined to lose". Since the trolls are evil counterparts of the kids, the opposite may be true for their game, and dark is always destined to lose.
  • No, when Nanna said that light is always destined to lose, she really meant it! Karkat told John that there comes a time when black inevitably beats white, as well. It's how things are supposed to go down in every Sburb session. The White King's scepter is what gives the Derse rulers the power to send the Veil towards Skaia, so he must be taken out of the picture in order to initiate the Reckoning. He gets captured or killed, the Reckoning begins, and the players have to get their asses in gear and defeat the Black King and Queen before Skaia is destroyed. It seems highly unlikely that the White King and/or Queen survived the loss against Derse and the Reckoning and rallied for a late comeback victory in the trolls' session given Karkat's words. And even if that was the case it'd probably be another anomaly akin to the White King and Queen abdicating in the kids' session rather than the trolls' game of Sburb happening to follow rules opposite the kids'.
The war between Light and Darkness will have no winners.
Nanna said that the forces of good will lose. She didn't say anything about evil winning. Both sides will be destroyed, and the kids will exile the survivors to what's left of Earth, the once-beautiful planet their unrelated war ultimately ruined. This is the true goal of a game of Sburb, not to checkmate evil, but to burn the board.
  • Half-confirmed. Both sides of the war were wiped out... by Jack Noir.
    • In general though, Light wins by virtue of the players winning; in any session where the players lose then Light has lost.

Aside from attempting to humanely imprison John's father, the imps mostly want to use his backyard rides, play with toys, and defend themselves when assaulted with hammers. We've not seen the minions of light yet. We have no reason to assume they're necessarily better, anymore than the white pieces in chess are any more noble or righteous than the black ones.
  • It's also been demonstrated by WV, who is almost certainly a Dark Kingdom denizen (or used to be, anyway), that not all the black imps are inherently evil.
  • Then there's Rose, the Seer of Light, who dabbles in Black magic. At least one, if not both, apply to her.
  • Light is very much good, Prospit at least. There are no minions of Prospit; the players fulfill that role in a sense. Dark however is mostly Affably Evil, but there are some complete monsters there and the higher ups want to destroy reality entirely.

All the exiles were implemented as solutions to the game, with failsafes against each other.
The white army was destined to lose, but the eight exiles were designed to be exploited by the players to win the game themselves. This doesn't include WK, who wasn't intended to survive, but does include SS, DD, CD and HB. The Warweary Villein worked too well, and would've made the game too easy by deposing the Black King before all prototypings were complete, if Jack Noir hadn't worked too well and made it near unbeatable by Queening himself. But the game hasn't been broken yet — the exiles can still foil each other, as intended. However, the involvement of Doc Scratch and the Horrorterrors were not intended, and can permanently break the game.
  • The Crew and the Exiles don't even know the other exists, nor should they. Doc and the Horrorterrors are also another faction in the game; Doc created the conditions necessary for the game to be played and the Horrorterrors are trying to make the session fail. However, the bits about Jack and WV are correct; Jack Noir's normal function in the game is a process that allows players to despose the Black Queen. Likewise, WV's normal role seems to be the same towards the Black King, but is much harder to fufill because the players reach Skaia fairly late in the game, by which point he's probably already dead. All in all this WMG makes no sense to me, it's comparing exiles across sessions which makes no sense. Spades Slick is not Bec Noir, and Bec Noir never gets exiled.
    • The Crew technically are Exiles of the trolls' session. None of them have to know about their analogues in other sessions to be programmed the same, thus comparisons between them are natural. What you're saying about JN and WV is already confirmed, but I'm further suggesting that the other Exiles may have their own but similar roles that circumstance simply didn't reveal in these sessions. But the WK and WQ were intended to be removed from play one way or another, which they have been, and won't have more than a peripheral support role.
    • Neither Doc nor the Horrorterrors were built into the game; in a sense Doc is a hacker who has a backdoor into the game because he influenced it's inception (being omniscient helps.) The Horrorterrors are also outside the game in the same way they're outside the universe; they've only become a faction by intruding on the game, probably because their space provides the network for the client/server loops and interdimensional communication to be possible.
      • The Horrorterrors are the faction that controls Derse. Think of it like this, in a chess game, the King and Queen aren't the players, they're just pieces. In Sburb, Skaia plays Prospit and the Elder Gods play Derse. Every session is a bargain between them and the cycle of destruction and renewal of universes. Doc creates the circumstances necessary for the game to be played and thus his own creation; Bec may have done something similar by leading Harley to the ruins. At any rate, they are part of the game.
      • That Doc is created in the game that he created could just as easily be a side effect of entering the game; everyone who plays will be paradoxically created within it. And the Horrorterrors don't seem to have any interest in ruling Derse, though they can exert influence that natives and dreamers may take or leave, but it's not nearly a compulsion. Only when their own were being slain did they care to communicate with someone they hoped could save them, and then they incidentally became an unignorable factions in the game. But they aren't within it and aren't a design element of it. Both Doc and the Horrorterrors are hackers who have insinuated themselves for their own purposes.
  • Using the term 'Exile' was meant to be a convenience rather than a confusion, so let me clarify them: SS, DD, CD, HB, WV, PM, AR of either session. If you can think of a better term to define this grouping, please tell.
    • Back to the original idea, I think that at least AR and PM are not very important, AR especially. They may have had some function in game, but it's impossible to say for certain. PM and AR in the kids actual session did very little (although we have yet to see how PM gets exiled) and it seems to me to be a safe bet that they were simply generic NPC's that got caught up in the game. Secondly, there's nothing to say that WQ and WK are useless because they were fated to die; in fact WQ is by far the most useful exile shown yet, aside from Snowman. The Derse agents, certainly are part of the game. WV as well, but again, it doesn't seem like AR and PM had any normal function. Mail simply happened to be a facet of the kid's session, while it wasn't part of the Trolls (for instance, even Tavros's land doesn't seem to have the obsession with mail in the same way). PM and AR in that sense might be "unique" NPCs which possibly are generated seperately, similarly to how every land shown is unique. PM may have for instance been part of John's journey across Lo Wa S in a normal session.
      • After Cascade, you may want to look over the unimportance of PM again.
      • The discussion wasn't about PM after exiling but PM in the game. The thing is WV is in every session, and is a backdoor way to defeat the Black King, whereas PM has only been seen in one session and was a simple mail lady before the unusual circumstances of the Kid's session propelled her into becoming what she is now.
      • Where is it ever said that WV is in every session? I don't recall seeing it anywhere in canon, unless it's a Formspring.
      • It was a Formspring answer.
    • Eventually shown in Act 6 is that AR is merely another type of pawn. PM is likely similar. With that in mind, it seems conclusive that the Agents of Derse and WV are in every session and may be failsafes against each other, but PM and AR are not, and simply happened to be exiles in the Kid's session.

WV is the ultimate Big Bad in Act 6
With the Scratch and the kids fleeing the wreckage of their universe, Exile Town and the other four Exiles will die. WV is the only one with a chance of surviving, and he pursues them into their new session. Unlike Jack, he isn't depowered by the destruction of the Green Sun because he still has the Uranium in his belly, so he'll go on an entirely justified attack on the Kids and Trolls.
  • Jossed on multiple levels, but PM may continue some of that.
    • The Big Bad of Act 6 is the Condesce. Though PM may attack the Kids, it's unlikely at this point.

Alpha Courtyard Droll will undergo a Heel–Face Turn.
The Droll has been known to be a Minion with an F in Evil in all three incarnations and has either made friends or attempted to make friends with the heroes before. Of course, he always remembered his allegiance to Derse in the end...but he has clearly shown misgivings with the new Dersite regime's agenda. Under their "new management", Derse will continue to sink to lows any Derse of a normal session would never sink to, and the guilt will drive CD to helping the considerably nicer Kids defeat his former superiors.
  • He's already assisted the pre-Scratch kids (knowingly or not) by destroying his session's battlefield.
    • CD isn't intelligent enough to comprehend guilt. He felt somewhat bad about killing Jake's dreamself, but still is loyal to Derse. When taking Beta CD into account, the theory is pretty much Jossed.

     Guardians 

The four guardians created this world. John, Jade, Dave and Rose will create a new world as its guardians.
Jade's dream shows that there is a chained mini-world attached to Prospit with two towers. Almost like a dandelion. The two towers correspond to Jade and John, who have direct contact with the other plane. The other towers belong to John's Dad, Rose's Mother, Bro and Bec. Each of the four towers will be "unlocked" by prototyping their symbols. Harlequins, Wizards, Puppets and... I dunno respectively freeing the baby Prospit of this generation.
  • The Dark Realm and Prospit each have a tether world, or moon. Likely with 2 spires each. This implies two kids go to the Dark Kingdom and the other two will head to Prospit. Implies that the Dark Kingdom two will be Dave and Rose.
  • [This WMG actually turned out to be half-correct, at least in inadvertently stumbling upon the point of the game.]

Each Kid's relationship with their Guardian demonstrates a quadrant of troll romance
John was raised by a loving and playful father in the healthiest environment of the four. This corresponds to matesprit and the flushed quadrant which is based on reproduction. Similarly, Rose's relationship with her mother demonstrates kismesis, spiteful love. Jade was raised by her best friend, clear moraillaince, while Dave was raised by and intermediary between himself and his brother, demonstrating auspiciticiousness or however the fuck you spell that last one.
  • Uh... All of the Kids, save for maybe Dave, very much loved their Guardians. Jade especially loved Bec. It seems maybe you could argue platonic love... but moiraillegiance isn't about simple platonic love, it's more accurately someone being a Morality Chain, which isn't at all present in Jade's relationship to Bec for instance. Secondly, it also doesn't match up with the suites assigned to each kid, John is Spades, Dave is Hearts, Jade is Diamonds, and Rose is Clubs. But most importantly, Andrew had no idea the trolls existed when he created the Guardians, so if anything, the Troll romances reflect the relationships with the Guardians, not the other way around.

The Guardians are representations of what children believe their Guardians to be like.
This WMG appeared on the Bay 12 MSPA discussion, and it makes a good deal of sense to me. After all, to every little boy, his father is the strongest man in the world. Children don't like to admit their parents are just normal people, so they make up crazy stories, like "My Mom is a mad scientist/ ninja/ secret agent," which is rather similar to Rose's mom, who is at least partially confirmed to be a mad scientist. And your big brother (especially if you're a male) is always the coolest guy you know. The outlier is Bec and Grandpa, but could still be explained. After all, some grandparents have these awesome stories about exotic places, like Paris (Texas) and New York. Some children, I suppose, would make up stories about their Grandfather being an Explorer/Hunter/All around cool guy. And Bec, well, he's Jade's dog. Maybe he represents, again, how every child feels about their dog: He's the coolest dog around.
  • They genuinely are crazy awesome and do all that shit.

The Guardians will aid the kids during the final battle.
This would be an awesome idea.
  • not ALL the guardians....
    • You never know, there might be more WEIRD TIME SHIT.
      • Probably not. The entire point of the Guardians from the beginning is like the lusi; to ultimately die so the players grow. Sburb has a grim mentality about extra people sneaking in; the only person to leave and enter the Medium without being a player is Hass, and that still hasn't been fully explained.
      • Because it was a joke.
      • Still possible, if you count the Post-Scratch guardians (who are now the players)
    • Jossed, with one stern fatherly exception.

The Guardians had foreknowledge of their own deaths
It's certainly implied, especially when Dad leaves his wallet for John to find.
  • Probably not considering they were apparently caught offguard and put up little fight. Aside from Bro who was overpowered.

The monsters that the Guardians are seen fighting in the 4/13 Flash are the Denizens of the kid's respective worlds.
Shortly thereafter, Maplehoof discovers a massive grist hoard after Rose's Mom defeats her monster. The only known hoards of this magnitude are those left over by the Denizens, so...
  • However, aren't the Denizens in their respective palaces and currently sleeping?
  • You wish. Those are just the mid-level monsters. The Guardians will be orders of magnitude scarier.

Poppop Crocker, Mom Lalonde (B2 Rose) and Bro Strider (B2 Dave) are all in the Medium
Hey, it happened to Grandpa. Poppop might have actually faked his death and left behind a fake corpse - the ultimate prank. Meanwhile, Bro and Mom entered the Medium to escape the invasion. Unlike the B1 Guardians, who were separated from their children when they entered the sessions, the B2 Guardians will find their children and there will be tearful reunions...or more precisely meetings. It's not like UU said Roxy's mother and daughter were the same person...even though they sort of are.
  • UU's words pretty clearly applied to Roxy meeting Rose.
  • Alternately, they've lost access to their guardians' corpses in the intervening 400 years of global flooding and antagonism by the Batterwitch who had them killed in the first place.
  • Judging by the timeline in A 6 I 2, Roxy and Dirk almost certainly never knew their versions of Mom or Bro.
  • Jossed: They died fighting the Condesce. Crocker might however be in the Medium with shenanigans.
    • There are other theories that Mom and Bro survived somehow.

Bec killed the dinosaurs
As above, but more within the character's capacity.
  • He predates the Cretaceous.

Bec is the Denizen of Earth
Huge sleeping underground monster. Woken by meteor impact. Intimately involved with the Earth's passages through the Skaian 'games'.
  • In fact, let's crank this up: Denizens are the final stage of Kernelsprite metamorphosis. Like pokemon, they evolve. Bec was first prototyped with a puppy and a klein bottle.
    • Nope on both counts.

Bec is not Jade's guardian.
Scratch and Bec display similar abilities, namely the green lightningness, and Scratch refers to himself as the guardian of Alternia. So what is Bec? He's the guardian of earth. Jade's guardian is her grandfather, which will cause serious problems later on when they are needed (since he's only alive in dream-form.)
  • This is partial canon, he's the First Guardian of Earth. However Guardians themselves are not that important. And he is her Guardian, at least to Sburb and for all intents and purposes.

Bec is, in actuality, not a dog but an Eldritch Abomination. He created Skaia, the Beta, etc. all in order to destroy civilization whenever possible. Rose's books didn't hide Bec's genetic sequence, but rather that of Jaspers: If a dog is the ultimate evil, then only a cat can defeat him. The Old Gods were deceiving her because they didn't want her to stop their ruler's existence, whether or not it is disastrous for the multiverse. Dave preserving the notebooks will save Earth, not destroy it.
  • Not quite. Lord English used Jaspers to pass Rose the genetic sequence used to create First Guardians. The Old Gods, who fear and hope to prevent the arrival of Lord English, try to stop it by telling Rose to burn the notebook.
  • Jossed all of this.

Bec would not have thought to laser Jade's meteor without getting prototyped.
It's stated that creatures such as Bec and Doc Scratch are nigh-omnipotent, but it requires a suitable intellect for them to be nigh-omniscient — an intellect which a dog's brain clearly does not provide. I submit that Bec was always capable of producing a meteor-destroying energy beam, but wasn't actually aware of it until he prototyped himself. We know prototyping gives the resulting sprite information about the game (from Davesprite), and it gives them the ability to talk (from the Trolls' session), presumably so that they can share said information with the players. So it would make sense that prototyping could give Bec enough of an intellect boost to grant him the base necessary for his nigh-omniscience, and subsequent knowledge of the full range of his powers.

Grandpa Harley's dream self is alive, but his real-world counterpart is dead.
The Act 4 intermission pages of Homestuck show the apparently alive Grandpa Harley coming to gather the remains of Dream Jade. This may confirm that this is actually his dream self, and offers a very interesting parallel in the story. Namely, in the real world, Jade is alive and interacts with her stuffed Grandpa, while in the dream world, Grandpa is alive and interacts with his stuffed grand-daughter.
  • Seems probable. The troll arc in act 5 established that a dreamself can replace the original if it dies, so it's entirely possible that the Grampa we're seeing in the medium is his dreamself.
    • As Andrew has stated that most people don't even have a dreamself, this would mean that Jade's grandpa is destined to venture into the Medium. It also may have something to do with the implication that he is in some way related to the development of Sburb. *** Alternatively it is a past version of Grandpa Harley
    • The above is jossed, only players have dream selves, and Grandpa is not a player. He is a past version of himself.

Bro is the reincarnation of Kamina
The shades, the improbable fighting prowess and the feats that can only be adequately explained through the use of spiral energy; example: Bro riding a meteor down through the atmosphere and cutting it in half with a single blow to give Dave the precious seconds he needs to get to the medium; then somehow making it there himself; perceptual teleport maybe? Yeah.
  • Jossed, Andrew didn't even know who he was.

Bro is a puppet
Lil' Cal has been making it look like he was moving on his own all this time.
  • Jossed, blood.

Dave's Bro is not being ironic...
And he isn't actually creepy either. He's just really, really boring.

This is the funniest outcome, and therefore the most likely.
  • We'll never find out now!

Bro, and possibly the other guardians, are still alive.
Bro, at least, had his own copy of Sburb. Therefore it's possible he also entered the medium as a palayer, and thus has both a dream self and a real self. So... even if his real self is dead, his dream self could still be alive
  • But that was the copy that Dave used, remember?
    • Is there any reason that Bro couldn't have also used it? Do you need to have the CD in the drive to play, or does it just install?
      • The CD only works once, like an account verification, presumably as some sort of failsafe or copy protection given that it is a Beta to an anticipated game. Dave needed to make a fifth disc to become Jade's server player. Besides, the two copies given to the Striders were used.

Dave's Bro really is being ironic with the puppets
Because at this point that would be a whole lot more surprising than if he wasn't. Therefore it makes for a better plot twist and must be so.
  • We'll never know because he's dead.

Bro's glasses actually have an Auto Responder in them...
  • We probably will never know.
  • Doubtful, though, considering that Bro doesn't show any signs of possessing future tech beyond his rocket board.
    • And Dirk himself outright says much of his tech isn't really anything he made but just stuff that exists in the future.

Plus, it'd give a whole new reason behind his name being Mr. Crocker: Nobody but him knows about the Old Universe. Nobody'd believe him, either.
  • FAIRIES!
  • Remembering the Beta universe would invite unavoidable comparisons to the Signless/Sufferer, except Dad was not ectobiologically created, and Hussie likes to extend these metaphors as far as they can go.
  • Probably not; he's actually not even genetically similar to Mr. Egbert and they're completely separate entities who just happen to be similar. Besides, he's not a player and the Sufferer was unique. Also Hussie probably isn't aware of The Fairly OddParents as he was already an adult during the timespan it aired.

Rose's Mom was trying to resurrect Jaspers
The setup in the lab is clearly hers, since she had direct passage to it in her room, and has been shown to have used it at least once. The Appearifier is locked on Jaspers, and the machine next to it attempts to produce a clone whenever the user tries to paradoxify Jaspers. The presence of Mutie seems to imply that this has already happened at least once. Plus, that outfit just screams "mad scientist".
  • The MEOWs scribbled on Rose's wall might be genetic code needed to clone a new Jaspers, which could have been the secret he revealed to Rose. Rose's mom tries to recreate the cat from this.
    • The MEOW code is not for Jaspers, but rather, a DNA sequence that when combined with another creature, will grant them omnipotence.

John's Dad and Rose's Mom have arrived on Skaia to look after Dream!John.
Even with Cyberbunny for company, Dream!John's going to be pretty vulnerable and lonely on Skaia now that Prospit's moon has been destroyed. With Dream!Jade dead, he's probably too valuable an asset to leave unattended, and I can't think of another reason why Hass would drop Dad and Mom off on Skaia. So they're probably there to make sure he stays safe and sane. Well, the odd cake to the face aside...
  • They didn't seem to do much looking after before they died.

Dad is the result of combing the DNA/ectoplasm slime of Bro and Grandpa Harley
  • Either that or Nana Egbert and Bro. Because the whole relationship stuff wasn't messed up as it was.
    • Alternatively, he is derived from the DNA of Colonel Sassacre and Bill Cosby.
    • SLIME DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS GOODNIGHT. He is genuinely Nanna's son.

John's dad uses Jokerkind for his Strife Specibus and Gamzee acquired it from him in some sort of temporal event.
That's about it.
  • Probably not; Dad doesn't seem to have a Specibus, other than Cake Kind and maybe Fist Kind.
The guardians are also playing a game.
Much like the trolls' session, there are two 'parallel' games being run at the same time— the kids', and the guardians' (as opposed to two sets of regular players.) In fact, the entire reason for the trolls' double-reacharound was the lack of guardians to create the second part of the game since they had to prototype their lusii.
  • The narration refers to the troll's mobius reacharound as being unique. Moreover Mom doesn't even seem to own a computer, Bec definitely doesn't, and Dad and Bro's computers have been seen. No Sburb.

Dad is fedoraFreak
The only guardian not to come from ectobiology - the only other human known to have survived (and probably reached God Tier), another fedora-clad businessman. Somehow, after reaching God Tier, he came back to become both Dads. (Of course, this would mean he didn't actually die on Skaia...)
  • Alternatively, perhaps the tower he died on was on top of his quest bed, or he had multiple dream selves, like Sullox..., died again, this time on the quest bed, either way, then reaching god tier, then going back in time, becoming fedora freak...
    • Not Jossed, per se, but NOPED. Dad is pipeFan. Nannasprite overtly says this in her conversation with fedoraFreak.
    • Of course, it's still possible that fedoraFreak is the Alpha Dad, who was somehow sending messages to the Beta Universe.

Dad is a clone (ectobiological or otherwise) of Colonel Sassacre
They're the same height, the same build; hoot, even their noses are identical. It would explain why there's such a strong resemblance despite the fact that John/Poppop and Nanna/Jane aren't the colonel's blood relatives at all, and would also explain why he looks exactly the same in both timelines, despite the fact that he clearly has different parents. Of note, while Nanna mentions that she started a family, she doesn't actually say she gave birth...

All guardians save Poppop will take on a more active role at one point in the Game.
Since Nanna (in the form of Nannasprite) was the only guardian to actually assist her respective child, This would likely be inverted for the Alpha session, where all the guardians are actively fighting alongside their children or take a much more active role in general instead of being the heroes of another story; since they're essentially better versions of the guardians, they have a higher rate of surviving and making an impact.
  • Considering the pre-Scratch versions of the same characters will be outright players (including, presumably, John), that would be very, very odd. And Jake doesn't really have any kind of guardian, not even an equivalent to Bec; both Poppop Crocker and Jake's grandma are, presumably, dead.
    • If you mean they're going to be fighting while alive that's going to be kind of hard since Poppop!John and Nanna!Jade died of old age and if Dirk is right about Dave!Bro and Rose!Mom being dead.
      • Thus, Jossed.

Mr. Crocker remembers the Beta World.
He, out of all the guardians, has not changed. This makes him stand out; If he was the only one without a change, this likely could mean that he still retains the old memories he had from the Beta World. Unfortunately, this would involve a bit of Fridge Horror, as the recent watching of Jane's "Mailsplosion" would bring back unknown, painful memories of a similar incident somewhere in his past.

     UNSORTED 
Neither 413 nor 612 are actually important.
Instead, they combine to form 1025, the true Arc Number, which symbolizes the fact that the Kids and Trolls will have to work together to defeat Lord English and escape the game. This hinges on whether something significant in this adventure happens on October 25th.
  • And on October 25th we get Alterniabound. Nice.
  • And Jade's timer reads 10 minutes, 25 seconds, much to John's confusion. Confirmed?
    • Well, confirmed that 1025 is an Arc Number, at least. The clock counting down to the Critical Moment may confirm this theory in full.
      • And now the EOA flash is set to come on... 10/25/11.

The Bad Future Spades Slick arrived at by opening the vault in the intermission is actually a GOOD Future.
All of the Felt are dead because this is the future where the Trolls and the Kids got their act together and dealt with Lord English properly.

Also, the super-important treasure the Vault contained? The Troll Black Queen's fully-prototyped ring. Both groups of Exiles, along with their respective Rings, will be instrumental in whatever timey-wimey recursively reachedaround shenanigans this victory requires.
  • It's actually the quite ordinary past.

The current timeline isn't the alpha timeline.
As powerful as Bec-sprite is the timeline is still doomed. Dave has the ability to time travel. At some point in the future it's going to result in either a Heroic Sacrifice to destroy the meteor, possibly followed by becoming Jade's first prototype, leading to the horrifying but probably preferable situation of many, many, dead Dave-imps. He already reversed the deaths of John and Jade once although that was before the final prototyping.
  • The trolls can only communicate with the kids in the alpha timeline. We know that everything up through the windy thing is in the alpha timeline.
    • Everything is the alpha.

Jade's power will be the ability to teleport, much like Bec did.
  • Completely Confirmed.

The folks in the afterlife WILL come back to the living plane at some point, under some circumstance
The interlude with Dead Dave, Tavros, and Aradia seemed rather irrelevant to the plot; they must become more important at some point, and the most likely way they'll be able to do that is by coming back to life in one way or another. And Hussie has worked with Death Is a Slap on the Wrist before.
  • Remember though, the DEAD trolls aside from Vriska are all Flat Characters; from the point of the story there's no real reason for them to come back aside from fan complaints. Besides, they seem to really enjoy dreambubbles and likely wouldn't want to come back.

1 yard is how HIGH you have to be to put jelly on a hot god.
  • Building on this, a "hot god" is actually a specific type of horrorterror of above-average attractiveness. Jelly is... I dunno, probably just jelly. But it's gotta do something.
    • Jossed. Scroll down to the section titled "The 4th Wall".

The space-time continuum is a recursively bisecting mobius strip.
A split timeline is doomed unless it's perpetuated by a stable time loophole; at some point it has to become it's own cause. When a stable split goes forward in time, it continues to wrap around to the beginning of that split, until time is once again a contiguous one-sided object with one edge. Right now it appears that Earth and Alternia are contiguous universes, but by the end of the story, the entire duration of time will have doubled, potentially to accommodate more universes along it's length.
  • This sounds confirmed in an Alterniabound dialog; the part about Alternia and Earth being concurrent universes on a moebius strip and the part about a stable time split requiring it's own paradoxical cause. The part about the split continuing all the way around to make a longer continuity is just a property of moebius strips.
  • A corollary of this is that successfully changing the future in this way leaves the perspective that it was always that way in the first place.
    • The problem with this is that the Earth session is barren, so it can't create Alternia to continue the loop.
      • We've already seen the Trolls scratch their session to get a new one that creates Earth, this may happen after Earth's session's scratch. Past (ancestor) Trolls > Future (current) Trolls > Past (current) Humans > Future (post-scratch) Humans > Past Trolls. This would make Cascade the point where the Mobius strip finally reaches itself to start over, as the Humans scratch their session but persist into the new one.
      • UU indirectly jossed this. The Trolls will survive after the end of the Alpha Session and continue to play sburb many more times over.

On the game's Captchacard, the acts so far have been represented by red dots if kid-centered, blue if troll-centered; both are done with, the next acts green and white. It's been pretty clear since the end of Act 4 that the story is taking us to the Outer Rings. Feferi showed us that the Horrorterrors and the Squiddles are one and the same. Now we truly meet the Noble Circle in the Furthest Ring, represented by green, after which white represents the surviving Gods: John, Aradia, one from the session that created Alternia, and fedoraFreak.
  • Or more plausibly, Act 6 is green because it will involve Lord English much more and begins with the explosion of the Green Sun. Act 7 is white most likely to show that it is beyond all of the game stuff, as it is going to be entirely epilogue.
  • Note that the dots for the acts that have been completed so far match the curtains that closed them.

Skaianet and the Beta

In the beginning of the story, it was stated that the Sburb that the core four had was still in beta, as well as Sgrub in Alternia later on. Perhaps the S-series is as a whole in beta, using characters created as a product of their unfinished game to play it on their own while Skaianet takes the data from those "tests" and uses them to correct it. Quite possibly, when they have enough information from the other games, the testers, like any other, will play the game for themselves. If they the survive their own game without any problems, it will be ready for distribution in the new universe.

What if their playing interferes with the Core Four's session? That hasn't been figured out yet.
  • Sburb/Sgrub is not very important. It functions as a minimal interface, default inventory system (deployables), and the way to enter a game. However the facts of a session itself are not shaped by the Swhateverb; the most important thing for the stable time loops is that the players enter. Everything else is gravy.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WMG/HomestuckJossedTwo