Recap / Mystery Science Theater 3000 S 05 E 20 Radar Secret Service
Look at the dead cows under that tower!

Films watched: Last Clear Chance (short) and Radar Secret Service

Dr. Forrester makes much of Radar Secret Service containing "Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis" — which basically translates into lots of padding and boring, identical men in boring, identical suits.

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 presentation of Radar Secret Service includes examples of:

  • Bedsheet Ladder: Mike attempts to escape by fashioning one of these (long enough to reach from the SOL to Earth) from the Bots' unmentionables.
    Gypsy: (gasping) MY BRA!
  • Berserk Button:
  • Continuity Nod:
  • Herr Doktor: Frank as Dr. Felix Frankenkeister. Ya ya.
  • Hurricane of Puns: When the film shows a back of a car.
    Mike: Hey, Freddy Fender!
    Crow: Otto Preminger!
    Servo: James Carville!
    Mike: Harrison Ford!
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping/Paper-Thin Disguise: TV's Frank—er, Dr. Felix Frankenkeister.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Frank's obviously fake beard while explaining "Hypno Helio Static Stasis".
  • Running Gag: "Why don't they look?"
    • (whispered) Radar!
    • With Lyrics: "(Bum) Oh, those Golden Grahams!"
    • During the entire experiment, Mike and the 'Bots discuss Welcome Back, Kotter trivia. (And in the opening segment, Crow becomes Arnold Horshack.)
    • Calling out advertising slogans for various round objects ("Round things; 90% off round things") when the Radar Secret Service's radar car is on screen.
    • Jokes about how the various characters are indistinguishable from each other, leaving Mike and the Bots confused ("I thought that woman was supposed to be that woman!")
      Mike: (during brawl between cop and mobster) I'm dull!
      Servo: No, I'm way duller!
      Mike: Oh, okay — name my character!
      Servo: Gee, um, duh — I can't!
      Mike: See! See! Now, which one of us is the good guy?
      Servo: I don't know, I don't know! Who am I?!?
  • Sanity Slippage: Crow, big time. After Mike puts Crow's torn Underoos in his net, he starts chanting, "Panties! Panties!", then giggles like a little girl and coos, "I got 'em! Hee hee hee!"
  • Seinfeldian Conversation: Due to the increasingly vast breadth of nothing happening on-screen, Mike, Tom and Crow all begin to chat with each other instead of cracking jokes — Kotter trivia is just the tip of the iceberg.
  • Sick and Wrong: Gypsy comments, "This is wrong" while Mike applies underwear to Crow to keep him calm, as Crow giddily says, "Keep 'em coming!"
  • Stock Footage:
    Mike: Duplicate shots, with radar. Yes, thanks to radar, we only needed to shoot three scenes!
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial:
    Servo: MY PANTY HOSE! (beat) I mean, what are those?
  • Unusual Euphemism: As mobster Moran's girl blows him off while Michael, the mastermind of the heist, promises to pick her up that evening,
    Crow:(as Michael) It's not the radar, it's the size of the amplitude — if you know what I mean.
  • Use Your Head: Crow tries this on The Mads' button... and his right eye pops out for all his troubles.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: The fate of Sid Melton's character (if there was one) is not shown in the MST3K edit. Crow has his own theory:
    Crow: (As the gangsters load boxes of atomic material in a truck) Each box contains a piece of Sid Melton.

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 presentation of Last Clear Chance contains examples of:

  • Ambiguously Gay:
    Mike: (as Alan) Hey, my Advocate is here!
  • Berserk Button: Tom Servo (as Hal) has just about had enough of the stupid general public.
  • Black Comedy:
    Crow: (as cop) Could you identify this bucketful of your brother?
  • Car Fu:
    Servo: (as motorist who looks like Henry Kissinger) Ach, Mister President, please watch where you're going!
    Crow: Whoa, I almost ran over Kissinger! I'll have to go back.
  • Celebrity Resemblance: Tom Servo notices that one driver looks like Elmer Fudd and sings, “Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit, kill da waaaaabbit!”
  • Comically Missing the Point:
    Trooper Hal: Maybe a man will do these things a hundred times in perfect safety.
    Servo: So the odds are pretty good!
    Trooper Hal: A parked car that suddenly pulls out without looking—it’s always sudden, of course, and always surprising.
    Mike: But never dull.
  • Cryptically Unhelpful Answer:
    Trooper Hal: Now where did that train come from?
    Crow: The station?
  • Despair Event Horizon: Mike and the Bots joke that the cop’s heavy-handed speech about fatal accidents drives the whole family to tears.
    Mike: Would you please, please, just leave?
  • Distracted by the Sexy: "Forty percent of all accidents are caused by women's hinders." "Rrr!"
  • Doom Magnet:
    Trooper Hal: 40% of all highway accidents involve a car that has already stopped.
    Mike: Driven by this guy.
  • Failed a Spot Check:
    [Footage of a train passing the camera]
    Trooper Hal: It seems impossible that anyone could fail to see or hear a train in motion.
    Servo: What train?
  • HAHAHA–No:
    Frank, Jr: (joking) I surrender, Hal, I give up! What’s the charge?
    Crow: (as Trooper Hal) Ha ha! Manslaughter.
  • Hitler Cam: A very low-angle shot of a Washington DC police officer prompts Tom to call him “Garganto-cop”.
  • Ho Yay: Tom Servo notices that Trooper Hal has a “nice butt”.
  • If You Die, I Call Your Stuff: Just before the kid becomes street pizza, Servo calls out "Can I have your room?".
  • Literal-Minded: Tom sees a railroad crossing “RR” sign, and reads it as “Rrrrrrrrr!”
  • One-Hour Work Week:
    Crow: Doesn’t anybody do any chores on this farm?
  • The Paranoiac: The trooper warns to always be aware at train crossings, and Tom decides to take it a few steps further.
    Servo: Don’t trust anyone! Turn your back on hope and love!
  • Sanity Slippage
    Trooper Hal: DON'T tell me that you were speeding a LITTLE, only BREAKING the law a LITTLE...
    Servo: Uh, oh...
    Trooper Hal: ...only doing something a LITTLE bit wrong, save THAT for somebody else, BROTHER!
    Trooper Hal: Because I've seen too many "litte bit" follies...
    Servo: He's a bad cop on the loose!
  • Shame If Something Happened:
    Mike: (as Mrs. Dixon) I thought we were all paid up.
    Servo: (as Trooper Hal) Gonna need another fifty. Real shame if something happened to this land...
  • Shout-Out:
  • Spoof Aesop:
    Mike: Never let this happen to you. Don’t make the mistake these people made. Don’t die.
    Mike: Never wave while driving.
    Crow: Never look backwards while driving forwards.
    Servo: Never, under any circumstances, drive with your butt cheeks.
  • The Social Darwinist:
    Trooper Hal: Hard as it is to believe, there are many accidents where the driver ran past three warning signs, and straight into the side of a moving train.
    Mike: Ahh, good riddance, I say.
    Trooper Hal: But if you paid no attention to the signs, didn’t look, and didn’t listen...
    Servo: Then you deserve to die.
  • The Talk:
    Trooper Hal: I thought this would be a good time to come by and tell you a few of the facts of life about driving, before you get started.
    Mike: You see, when a man loves a car very much, you recline the seat back...
  • Too Dumb to Live: Frank and his girl looking backwards to wave at his brother as they approach a railroad crossing:
    Servo: "Hey, the cop never said anything about doing intensely stupid things!"
  • The Untwist invoked
    Crow: I have a feeling one of these characters is about to see their own intestines.
  • Trivially Obvious:
    Trooper Hal: Most people who’ve lived through an accident involving a train, say—
    Servo: “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!” That’s what they say.
  • Values Dissonance: Invoked, as a montage of traffic signs leads the Bots to offer their own examples.
    Crow: "All Nude Girls".
    Servo: "Whites Only".
  • With Lyrics: Mike and the Bots sing along with the music from the end credits as they walk out of the theater.
    Mike: More death! People are dying every day...
    Servo: They’re dead, they’re dead, they’re diddloodoo
    dead, they’re dead, they’re dead, they’re doodloodeedoopdee dead!
    Everyone: They’re dead, they’re dead, they’re dead...
  • Women Drivers: When Hal warns about the dangers of distracted driving, using footage of a woman reading a map instead of paying attention to the road, Mike concludes that woman drivers are the real danger.