[[caption-width-right:350:Look at the dead cows under that tower!]]

Films watched: ''Film/LastClearChance'' (short) and ''Film/RadarSecretService''

Dr. Forrester makes much of ''Radar Secret Service'' containing "Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis" -- which basically translates into lots of padding and boring, identical men in boring, identical suits.

!!The Segments:
* Mike performs some routine maintenance on Crow, but things go awry when he triggers an Arnold Horshack mechanism.

[[AC:Segment 1]]
* Mike has tied various articles of clothing to make a BedsheetLadder back down to Earth, which Crow objects to when his Underroos are involved. Dr. Forrester has Frank give a presentation on Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis, which contains X-4.

[[AC:Segment 2]]
* State trooper Tom has words of advice to share about how dangerous sandwiches, lint traps and hot plates can be. Train engineer Crow wants to know why won't anyone look.

[[AC:Segment 3]]
* To help stave off the Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis, the 'Bots host the Class of '83 reunion and role-play Mike's old school buddies. It's rather awkward, but their hearts were in the right place.

[[AC:Segment 4]]
* Mike and Crow run a project idea by Servo: the Quinn Martin nature preserve, where old character actors can roam free in their own habitat. Tom believes that the symptoms are just getting worse.

[[AC:Segment 5]]
* Mike and the 'Bots have produced a cure for Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis: Ecstatoeuphorofun, with patented Hinder 90! It turns B movies into "yippie" movies! Dr. Forrester tries to explain his failure to Frank, who can only laugh from all the butt references, infecting Dr. F with the same giddiness.

!!The ''Mystery Science Theater 3000'' presentation of ''Radar Secret Service'' includes examples of:
* BedsheetLadder: Mike attempts to escape by fashioning one of these (long enough to reach from the SOL to Earth) from the Bots' unmentionables.
-->'''Gypsy:''' ''(gasping)'' MY BRA!
* BerserkButton:
** Don't screw with Crow's underoos.
** At the end of the experiment, TV's Frank looks like he's about to push Dr. F's BerserkButton [[OhCrap big time]]... then the bad Doctor [[LateToThePunchline gets the joke]], and The Mads walk off into background, [[EverybodyLaughsEnding chuckling away, with Dr. Forrester pressing the button as he goes]].
* ContinuityNod:
** Among the items Mike confiscates for his BedsheetLadder are Crow's [[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S04E07TheKillerShrews sensible brown pants]].
** While describing Hypno-Helio-Static-Statis, the Mads mention "[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S02E08LostContinent rock climbing]]" and "[[Recap/MysteryScienceTheater3000S04E10HerculesAgainstTheMoonMen deep hurting]]".
*** A subversion when Forrester threatens Mike by asking him if he remembers "Rock Climbing" and "Deep Hurting". Joel was on the S.O.L., not Mike, for those experiments.
** "[[Film/MonsterAGoGo But there was no monster]]."
** "[[Film/VikingWomenAndTheSeaSerpent Noooo waffles!]]"
** "[[Film/IAccuseMyParents Are you happy, in your work?]]"
* DuckSeasonRabbitSeason: Mike performs the old "is not"/"is too" switcheroo on TV's Frank in the final host segment when he and the Bots explain they survived the movie's interminable dullness thanks to "Ecstato-Euphoro-Fun" with "patented Hinder 90", which Frank insists doesn't even exist.
* HerrDoktor: Frank as Dr. Felix Frankenkeister. Ya ya.
* HurricaneOfPuns: When the film shows a back of a car.
-->'''Mike''': Hey, Freddy Fender!\\
'''Crow''': Creator/OttoPreminger!
-->'''Servo''': James Carville!\\
'''Mike''': Creator/HarrisonFord!
* OohMeAccentsSlipping[=/=]PaperThinDisguise: TV's Frank--er, Dr. Felix Frankenkeister.
* PaperThinDisguise: Frank's obviously fake beard while explaining "Hypno Helio Static Stasis".
* RunningGag: "Why don't they look?"
** (whispered) ''Radar!''
** WithLyrics: "(Bum) Oh, those Golden Grahams!"
** During the entire experiment, Mike and the 'Bots discuss ''Series/WelcomeBackKotter'' trivia. (And in the opening segment, Crow becomes Arnold Horshack.)
** Calling out advertising slogans for various round objects ("Round things; 90% off ''round things''") when the Radar Secret Service's radar car is on screen.
** Jokes about how the various characters are indistinguishable from each other, leaving Mike and the Bots confused ("I thought that woman was supposed to be ''that'' woman!")
--->'''Mike:''' (during brawl between cop and mobster) I'm dull!\\
'''Servo:''' No, I'm way duller!\\
'''Mike:''' Oh, okay -- name my character!\\
'''Servo:''' Gee, um, duh -- I ''can't''!\\
'''Mike:''' See! See! Now, which one of us is the good guy?\\
'''Servo:''' I don't know, I don't know! Who am ''I''?!?
* SanitySlippage: Crow, big time. After Mike puts Crow's torn Underoos in his net, he starts chanting, "Panties! Panties!", then giggles like a little girl and coos, "I got 'em! Hee hee hee!"
* SeinfeldianConversation: Due to the increasingly vast breadth of ''nothing'' happening on-screen, Mike, Tom and Crow all begin to chat with each other instead of cracking jokes -- ''Kotter'' trivia is just the tip of the iceberg.
* SickAndWrong: Gypsy comments, "This is wrong" while Mike applies underwear to Crow to keep him calm, as Crow giddily says, "Keep 'em coming!"
* StockFootage:
-->'''Mike:''' Duplicate shots, with ''radar''. Yes, thanks to radar, we only needed to shoot ''three'' scenes!
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial:
-->'''Servo:''' MY PANTY HOSE! ''({{beat}})'' I mean, what are ''those''?
* UnusualEuphemism: As mobster Moran's girl blows him off while Michael, the mastermind of the heist, promises to pick her up that evening,
-->'''Crow:'''(as Michael) It's not the radar, it's the size of the amplitude -- if you know what I mean.
* UseYourHead: Crow tries this on The Mads' button... and his right eye pops out for all his troubles.
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: The fate of Sid Melton's character (if there was one) is not shown in the [=MST3K=] edit. Crow has his own theory:
-->'''Crow:''' (As the gangsters load boxes of atomic material in a truck) Each box contains a piece of Sid Melton.

!!The ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' presentation of ''Last Clear Chance'' contains examples of:
* AmbiguouslyGay:
-->'''Mike:''' (as Alan) Hey, my ''Advocate'' is here!
* BerserkButton: Tom Servo (as Hal) has just about had enough of the stupid general public.
* BlackComedy:
-->'''Crow:''' (as cop) Could you identify this bucketful of your brother?
* CarFu:
-->'''Servo:''' (as motorist who looks like Henry Kissinger) Ach, Mister President, please watch where you're going!
-->'''Crow:''' Whoa, I almost ran over Kissinger! I'll have to go back.
* CelebrityResemblance: Tom Servo notices that one driver looks like Elmer Fudd and sings, [[WesternAnimation/WhatsOperaDoc “Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit, kill da waaaaabbit!”]]
* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
-->'''Trooper Hal:''' Maybe a man will do these things a hundred times in perfect safety.\\
'''Servo:''' So the odds are pretty good!\\
'''Trooper Hal:''' A parked car that suddenly pulls out without looking--it’s always sudden, of course, and always surprising.\\
'''Mike:''' But never dull.
* CrypticallyUnhelpfulAnswer:
-->'''Trooper Hal:''' Now where did that train come from?\\
'''Crow:''' The station?
* DespairEventHorizon: Mike and the Bots joke that the cop’s heavy-handed speech about fatal accidents drives the whole family to tears.
-->'''Mike:''' Would you please, please, just leave?
* DistractedByTheSexy: "Forty percent of all accidents are caused by women's hinders." "Rrr!"
* DoomMagnet:
-->'''Trooper Hal:''' 40% of all highway accidents involve a car that has already stopped.\\
'''Mike:''' Driven by ''this guy''.
* FailedASpotCheck:
-->''[Footage of a train passing the camera]''\\
'''Trooper Hal:''' It seems impossible that anyone could fail to see or hear a train in motion.\\
'''Servo:''' What train?
* HaHaHaNo:
-->'''Frank, Jr:''' (joking) I surrender, Hal, I give up! What’s the charge?\\
'''Crow:''' (as Trooper Hal) Ha ha! ''Manslaughter.''
* HitlerCam: A very low-angle shot of a Washington DC police officer prompts Tom to call him “Garganto-cop”.
* IfYouDieICallYourStuff: Just before the kid becomes street pizza, Servo calls out "Can I have your room?".
* LiteralMinded: Tom sees a railroad crossing “RR” sign, and reads it as “Rrrrrrrrr!”
* OneHourWorkWeek:
-->'''Crow:''' Doesn’t anybody do any chores on this farm?
* TheParanoiac: The trooper warns to always be aware at train crossings, and Tom decides to take it a few steps further.
-->'''Servo:''' Don’t trust anyone! Turn your back on hope and love!
* SanitySlippage
-->'''Trooper Hal:''' ''DON'T'' tell me that you were speeding a ''LITTLE'', only ''BREAKING'' the law a ''LITTLE''...\\
'''Servo:''' Uh, oh...\\
'''Trooper Hal:''' ...only doing something a ''LITTLE'' bit wrong, save ''THAT'' for somebody ''else,'' ''BROTHER!''\\
'''Crow:''' OH MY GOD, HE'S SNAPPED!\\
'''Trooper Hal''': Because I've seen too many "litte bit" follies...\\
'''Servo''': He's a bad cop on the loose!
* ShameIfSomethingHappened:
-->'''Mike:''' (as Mrs. Dixon) I thought we were all paid up.\\
'''Servo:''' (as Trooper Hal) Gonna need another fifty. Real shame if something happened to this land...
* ShoutOut:
** [[Film/SevenBridesForSevenBrothers “Bless this beautiful day...”]]
** “...then this train might come as a surprise to you.” “[[Series/SoulTrain The Sooooooouuuuul Train!]]”
** “This is the prequel to ''Literature/InColdBlood''.”
** [[Theatre/CatOnAHotTinRoof "It's Big Daddy's birthday! I've got life in me, Big Daddy!"]]
** Mike compares a street ablaze with neon signs to [[Film/ItsAWonderfulLife Pottersville]].
* SpoofAesop:
-->'''Mike:''' Never let this happen to you. Don’t make the mistake these people made. Don’t die.\\
'''Mike:''' Never wave while driving.\\
'''Crow:''' Never look backwards while driving forwards.\\
'''Servo:''' Never, under any circumstances, drive with your butt cheeks.
* TheSocialDarwinist:
-->'''Trooper Hal:''' Hard as it is to believe, there are many accidents where the driver ran past three warning signs, and straight into the side of a moving train.\\
'''Mike:''' Ahh, good riddance, I say.\\
'''Trooper Hal:''' But if you paid no attention to the signs, didn’t look, and didn’t listen...\\
'''Servo:''' Then you deserve to die.
* TheTalk:
-->'''Trooper Hal:''' I thought this would be a good time to come by and tell you a few of the facts of life about driving, before you get started.\\
'''Mike:''' You see, when a man loves a car very much, you recline the seat back...
* TooDumbToLive: Frank and his girl looking backwards to wave at his brother as they approach a railroad crossing:
-->'''Servo:''' "Hey, the cop never said anything about doing intensely stupid things!"
* TheUntwist [[invoked]]
-->'''Crow:''' I have a feeling one of these characters is about to see their own intestines.
* TriviallyObvious:
-->'''Trooper Hal:''' Most people who’ve lived through an accident involving a train, say--\\
'''Servo:''' “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!” That’s what they say.
* ValuesDissonance: Invoked, as a montage of traffic signs leads the Bots to offer their own examples.
-->'''Crow:''' "All Nude Girls".\\
'''Servo:''' "Whites Only".
* WithLyrics: Mike and the Bots sing along with the music from the end credits as they walk out of the theater.
-->'''Mike:''' People are dead, people are dying every day...\\
'''Servo:''' They’re dead, they’re dead, they’re diddloodoo \\
dead, they’re dead, they’re dead, they’re doodloodeedoopdee dead!\\
'''Everyone:''' They’re dead, they’re dead, they’re dead...
* WomenDrivers: When Hal warns about the dangers of distracted driving, using footage of a woman reading a map instead of paying attention to the road, Mike concludes that woman drivers are the real danger.
-->'''Maid:''' [[TheStinger Ahhhh! There's a dead man!]]
-->'''Marge:''' [[TheStinger It's all right, Myrtle, I'll take care of it.]]
-->'''Maid:''' [[TheStinger Thank you!]]