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Sometimes, tragicomedy strikes like a lightning bolt from heaven.
Perhaps Jack Chick's most famous tract is in the process of becoming a live-action movie. "Dark Dungeons: The Movie!" is a Kickstarter funded effort to transform Jack Chick's tract, "Dark Dungeons", into a live-action movie, and the sight of real actors reading the lines in costume and in character has to be seen to be believed. Debate rages on whether the filmmaker believes in the tract or not.
He's not serious. He's all but admitted he's doing a giant Stephen Colbert-esque move. He said that his favorite Comedian was Stephen Colbert and that "The best humor is done by a person doing it completely straight that for a moment you think he's serious."
This little gem is from the very first panel of Doom Town:
An especially Narmful moment is when a player receives "the real power" upon reaching level 8. They're taught to cast real spells. For some reason, these spells for players, as opposed to PCs, are not immediately evident in the D&D rulebooks.
The protagonist reacts to her friend's suicide:
"You didn't have to do that!"
The Game Master's screen says Dark Dungeons. The rule books all say Dark Dungeons. Yet, as early as the fourth panel, characters refer to the game as D&D. So, it's Dark and Dungeons now?
"Don't be stupid, Debbie."
"I don't want to be Elfstar anymore. I want to be Debbie."
Go here for a hilarious take on what Moral Guardians think kids do with Dungeons and Dragons books.
More likely the girl must have had issues long beforehand; the kind who'd declare bankruptcy after losing at Monopoly.
Also, in the comic, it's the Game Master telling what actions the characters do and the players giving the results of the action. In any real roleplaying game, it works the other way around: players give their actions, and Game Masters tell them the results. A Jack-Chick rules RP session should be a weird mix of Railroading and Monty Haul...
"NO, NOT BLACK LEAF! NO, NO! I'M GOING TO DIE!"
"THE INTENSE OCCULT TRAINING THROUGH D&D PREPARED DEBBIE TO ACCEPT THE INVITATION TO ENTER A WITCHES' COVEN." You can't say that with a straight face.
"It's my fault Black Leaf died. I can't face life alone!"
So after the characters realize how eeeeevil Dark Dungeons is, what do they do with their leftover rulebooks/gameboards/dice/etc.? Do they throw them away? Return them to the publisher? Sell them off to a gaming store? No, that would make them normal people. Instead, they all do the good Christian thing and chuck them in a big fat bonfire.
In Who Murdered Clarice?, an abortion doctor is being judged after death for his crime. Who is the judge?
"Surprise, everybody!!! It's the Lord Jesus Christ."
This one is actually a retcon - the original printed version of The Last Generation had cats and dogs as examples of "extinct animals". Chick originally couldn't make up his mind whether to have Atheism or New Age as the enforced state religion - in the reissue, he replaced all science/atheism references with occult-related phrases.
The story about the brothers in Room 310, in which one brother impersonates the other and gets executed for murder, and the other confesses later but avoids punishment because someone paid for the crime, manages to cross the line from Critical Research Failure to funny.
The bit near the end where he picks up a Chick Tract to "see what it says" - as the panel doesn't change, Tom's "O God, I've been a fool. Please save me" seems more like he's reading the tract's content aloud at first.
The corrupt boss being called Lew Siffer. These people are rockers but didn't spot that allusion?
Satan quite seriously explains how he coerced the world into listening to rock music. (Oh noes!).
The band in Why No Revival? has two songs titled "Rock of Ages" and "Rock for the Rock". Now, there is a good rock/metal song called "Rock of Ages" out there, but "Rock for the Rock" smacks of Spinal Tap.
Chick's rants against the Catholic Church are at once funny and sad. To hear him tell it, an Ancient Conspiracy issuing from the Vatican has been responsible for the following: both WorldWars, the Holocaust (in which Catholics were killed), the assassinations of Lincoln and Kennedy (the first Catholic president), the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II (it was faked, don'chaknow!), the Ku Klux Klan (also anti-Catholic), Islam (Muslims consider the Bible to be mostly accurate, but incomplete), Communism (which is anti-religion), Mormonism (a.k.a. the Latter Day Saints, which blames Catholics for the corruption of The Bible), Jehovah's Witnesses, and more. When his claims proved so virulent and erroneous that Protestant bookstores stopped stocking his comics, he blamed the Catholics for that!
The "I'm a Buddhist" line would seem to be based on a very loose interpretation of Buddhism. Buddhists believe that all people are reflections of a single greater being and that individuality is only an illusion. That's quite a bit different from saying "no one but me exists" but hey, Chick isn't exactly known for his understanding of other religions.
The shaved heads and long hair. Long hair on men is a symbol of the American Indian Movement, so we'll give him credit for that; but it still has Unfortunate Implications.
Being against having uranium tailings in your water is a sin! Being a teetotaller is a sin!
Naturally, if you don't have long hair, then you have a mohawk.
In Flight 144, Chick introduces a typically jolly, respectable-looking Christian evangelist missionary couple who have been running a charity in Africa their whole careers AND dutifully proselytizing the entire time. They get on a plane, which crashes, and then they get sent to hell for not believing in Jesus hard enough.
Actually that was for not shoving their beliefs down people's throats converting enough people. Yeah, if Jack Chick is right, God is a jerk.
From what I understand, the missionaries thought that they would get rewarded for all that nice stuff they did. Salvation by works, in other words. Christians, according to Chick, are supposed to view themselves as utterly worthless and deserving of Hell in order to receive grace.
The picture linked to under Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking from the main page, especially the snarling Sikh who's going to stab you with his giant kirpan.
"You're going to meet the death angel."
Apparently, even mentioning the word "Hell" is no longer acceptable in household conversation, according to "Going Down?"
In the original version it was "Hey man, this is outta sight!" which is arguably funnier.
At chick.com, there are randomised "Tract Myths" and other adlike things at the bottom of each tract page. Tract Myth #3◊, which is about shyness, features a young girl hiding her face. She looks more like she's facepalming at the Chick Tract.
Another good one◊ features a man making a ridiculously cartoonish angry face, with the caption "Ever fear you'll get this if you witness? Try Chick Tracts... people love 'em!". So... what makes them different from witnessing?
In the comic about guardian angels, the angel leaving after one masturbation too many and the random Satanic guy who tries to stab the hero and gets foiled by his angel. Priceless.
The panel in Here, Kitty Kitty that depicts what looks like God casually tossing Jesus down to Earth from a cloud.
There is a drawing by Jack Chick showing people fighting over a Chick Tract. He put that out claiming that it's how people react to the tracts. Considering that you can find them for free in a lot of public places (or read them on his website), this is somewhat hard to believe.
The tract "Crazy Wolf," which is all about how Native Americans worship Satan, is batshit insane through and through, but the moment when the Indian guy tells Old Mary that he's going to convert to Christianity is particularly funny.
It's small compared to most of these, but in The Missing Day there's DROOL and GULP Unsound Effects. Understanding what is and is not a sound effect seems to be one of the consistent weaknesses of the tracts, though.
In Sin City, a gay reverend is preaching to a man in the hospital about how God loves everyone, including homosexuals. A man in the hall overhears this and bursts through the door to stop him. This laughable attempt at a Big Damn Heroes moment would be narmy enough on its own, but then he screams the words, "I'm going to pray right now!" Oh snap!