Welcome to the Voynich Hotel, a luxurious establishment on Blefuscu Isle, a war-scarred island somewhere in the southwest of the Pacific that could be out in the middle of nowhere, for all anyone cares. Have your choice of any room—really, any room, as almost all are unoccupied—and be treated well by our maids, Elena and Beluna, and a delicious meal by Amelia, the chef. (Don't worry about her trying to poison you; Elena has a great sense of smell.) Don't be terrified by the gigantic man, built like a brick wall and wearing a mask; that's just the owner, and he's really a very nice guy. Just ask any of the orphans from the war.Please do not think too much on the fact, for a tourist spot, the island seems to be totally deserted. And if you happen to encounter any Yakuza (present and former, living or dead), assassins, serial killers, incompetent robot detectives, drug dealers, and the occasional demon, don't worry: it's all perfectly normal here.Have you heard the legend of the Three Mothers? They were originally the mistresses of this island, till the Spanish Inquisition came and slaughtered them. Rumour has it, they still walk the land to this very day! note They do.Oh, don't be like that... relax; we promise you can leave anytime you like—provided you haven't caused TOO much of a ruckus in our peaceful island. Oh, and do watch out for landmines.
The hotel and the island is home to numerous attractions, fascinating sights, and quite a few rumours, among which are:
Back from the Dead: Please, do not be alarmed by reports of the living dead. They exist, but they're mostly harmless.
If they're actually demons, be less alarmed; it's perfectly normal for them.
Becoming the Mask: There are rumours that three guests we had were drug dealers, growing their product in their room, and that one of them was an undercover agent. As we have yet to have any police raiding the hotelnote that we have noticed, what with all the other stuff going on, believe it to just be another silly rumour.
Black Comedy: We tend to see the brighter side of things here at the Voynich. No matter how awful things may be, there's always something to laugh about!
Bloody Hilarious: Any unsightly accidents are dealt with swiftly here in the Voynich. We like to keep our atmosphere light, relaxing, and fun.
Boy Meets Ghoul: There are rumours of the Sleuth Brigade member "Doctor" being in a relationship with the eldest of the Three Mothers, Tenebraum.
Lately, there's been some talk that a ghost has taken a shine to the mangaka, Mr. Haraki. Details say she's the ghost of the philosopher they named that new drug after. Mercelo, was it?
Brick Joke: Some rumours tend to last for quite a while.
Bumbling Sidekick: I hear that Officer Olga doesn't think too highly of her robotic partner, Andyroid. Just between you and me: I can't really blame her.
Came Back Wrong: See Back from the Dead above. Any sights like reversed hands are just the heat getting to you. Please, enjoy a dip in our pool and a refreshing, cold drink to go along with it.
Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Please, do not provoke our staff or your fellow guests. Most especially the latter, but the former can make things very unpleasant for you.
Code Name: The Sleuth Brigade—with the exception of Alice—only ever seem to refer to themselves by their code names. It's rather cute, if I do say so myself.
Expressive Mask: Have you seen the rabbit mask of that girl Alice, of the Sleuth Brigade? It's rather interesting how it seems to change expression, like it's reflecting her actual face.
Eye Scream: According to legend, the youngest of the Three Mothers, Lachrymarum, the Mother of Tears, was done in by an arrow to the eye. And please, don't ask Elena about her missing eye; it's kind of a sore spot for her.
Foreshadowing: That Elena is missing an eye, and Beluna's head seems to be stitched on is merely a coincidence. They are most definitely NOT two of the Three Mothers. Only Elena is. Beluna is just a simulacrum.
Hell Hotel: Please do not believe such salacious rumours about our beloved establishment. It is not evil. It just happened to have been built by witches to guard their sister's grave, and attracts all sorts of interesting characters as a consequence.
The Hermit: Zepis, the legendary second-rate Boiler Engineer, lives in an abandoned mine on this very island! (It helps with his unfortunate attraction to lightning, thanks to his numerous injuries from the war.) Feel free to visit him, but we wouldn't really advise it; the jungle is very dangerous, and he's not exactly all there after all these years...
Kid Detectives: If you see a couple of kids snooping about the hotel, don't be alarmed; they're just the Sleuth Brigade. They're just children—with exception of "Maid" (Beluna)—and don't really cause much trouble, we assure you. And please, don't listen to their claims of this fine establishment being haunted. What overactive imaginations, these kids...
Land Mine Goes Click: The culprit of quite a few unfortunate tragedies on the island. Amelia lost her family this way, as did the Sleuth Brigade Peace.
There's also rumours of "The Singing Witch Head," supposedly the decapitated head of Suspiriorum, the Mother of Sighs. Recent talks at the water cooler say a Mafia boss bid 500,000 Euro at an auction and won said head.
The Lost Lenore: The Sleuth Brigade used to have a young woman with them; they called her Peace. She died saving Leader from a landmine. The poor dears try to put on a brave face, but it's obvious they're still hurting; after all, they're just kids.
Masked Luchador: Our owner, Kandre Umeda, is quite the hero around the island, famed for his time as a nigh-unbeatable Luchador! He even beat Chuck Norris during the latter's stay at the Voynich, in an impromptu exhibition match.
Mask of Power: It's rumoured that a little girl named Alice has the "Rabbit of Truth," a mask that transforms thoughts into speech and allows the user to see past glamours and illusions. We here assure you that she the mask she wears is most definitely not magical.
Off with His Head!: The second of the witch sisters, Suspiriorum, the Mother of Sighs, was killed via beheading. Rumor has it that her head is somewhere in Europe, christened "The Singing Witch Head." What's left of her soul and most of her body lives on as Beluna.
The new decoration on top of the hotel's flag pole bears a marked resemblance to Mamiya's severed head.
Replacement Goldfish: There are some tales about how Lachrymarum, arriving too late to stop her sister's beheading, took what was left of Suspiriorum and made a replacement body for her sister. They say it didn't work. Beluna doesn't quite have ALL of Suspiriorum's skills down pat.