Funny / The Venture Bros.

MECHA-SHIVA! MECHA-SHIVA! MECHA-SHIVA! MECHA-SHIVA!

General

• EVERYTHING Dr Orpheus does. The man's a walking CMOF simply because he's always so melodramatic. But a special mention for the home boy figurine (For it contains the souls of TWO FOUL-MOUTHED REDNECKS!) Also add: "Fetch me my BLUE WIND BREAKER!!!"
  Orpheus: I would not be too hasty in entering that room; I had TACO BELL for lunch!
• David Bowie
  • Pay no attention to the handsome and ageless rockstar hiding behind the couch.
  • "Everybody knows who you are, my master. And may I say that 'Hours...' was a totally underrated album."
  Bowie: ...Yea? I mean I thought so. But don't you think it was a bit too little, too late?
  Henchman: No, that would be Tin Machine.
  • "Hello, I'm David Bowie." *PUNCH* "Make way for the Homo Superior!"
• Any time we see Cody Impossible, and the horrible, agonizing life he lives.
• Shore-leave. The man is the sassiest character on the whole show with some of the best lines.

Season 1

• The Terrible Secret Of Turtle Bay (2003 Pilot Episode)
  • Brock finishes off a mummy by pissing on it.
    Dr. Venture: Was that really necessary?
    Brock: You have to defile a mummy completely or they come back to life. You know that.
    Dr. Venture: Yes, yes, of course.

• "Dia De Los Dangerous":
  • Hank's summation of H.E.L.P.er
    Hank: He looks like a dried turd on a bad stretch of road.
  • This gem from the Monarch
    The Monarch: Now Doctor Venture will send Samson after us and he'll go totally sickhouse on our asses! I like my ass, gentlemen.
  • Doc's reaction to having his kidneys stolen
    Doctor Venture: Not again! Wait a minute... (counts his back scars) one... two... oh... this is serious.

• Dr. Venture is mourning Brock, who's buried in the desert in Mexico. He's smashed on nursing a little bit of tequila. Brock then emerges from the ground, grabs the bottle of tequila and chugs the entire bottle.
• Brock deploys himself into the Cocoon:
  Brock: How long can you live if you're not hooked up to him?
  Dr. Venture: Oh, I dunno... a couple of hours? But it would be very uncomf- (Brock yanks out the tubes connecting Doc from H.E.L.P.eR) GAH!
  (Brock drops his car into the cocoon. He pulls an emergency parachute, which makes Doc calm down... only for Brock to disengage it and crash into the middle of the Monarch's henchmen)
  Brock: You get the boys out of here; I'll take care of these guys...
  Dr. Venture: Brock, are you sure? There's an awful lot of them-
  Brock: (eye twitching) They hit me with a truck.
• When Brock encounters Steve Summers for the first time in Home Insecurity, he throws a knife into his leg, causing it to crackle with electricity. And then, this happens:
  Brock: Bionic, huh? Let's see how bionic. (kicks Steve in the nuts)
  Steve: Ow! Right in the Cape Canaverals...
  • Brock being creeped out about having to shave Sasquatch in order to create a disguise:
    Steve: What are you, shy? Sasquatch doesn't have anything you haven't seen before!
    Brock: Sasquatch IS something I haven't seen before!
• How Brock takes out the two pirates in "Ghosts of the Sargasso": Pretending to have hidden a key in his ass and when one of the pirates attempts a cavity search, he clamps down on the dude's hand to trap it and uses him as a cudgel to beat both of his captors across the room. He curb-stomped two guys with his ass:
  *picks up discarded cigarette* "...Told ya what I'd do for one of these."
• The Mid-life Chrysalis episode:
  Rusty: Crap, who am I kidding? My looks are going down the toilet faster than an unwanted pregnancy on prom night.
  • Hank getting a little too into his Drill Sergeant Nasty routine with Brock. Brock snaps him back with a helpful reminder.
  Brock: Seriously, Hank. When I get my license back I'm allowed to kill you.
  • H.E.L.P.eR eating the test tubes, getting a stomachache because he mixed acids and bases, and growing legs just so he can poop them out.
• When Dr. Venture first sees the face of Mr. Brisby.
  Mr. Brisby: Welcome Dr. Venture. TO THE FUNNEST PLACE ON EARTH!
  Dr. Venture: HOLY DAMN IT CHRISTMAS!!!
  • On a similar note, his reaction to seeing the Grand Galactic Inquisitor for the first time: "LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO!"
  • Brisby himself has several moments.
    (After moving his wheelchair too close to the fire and having his lap blanket catch on fire.
    Mr. Brisby: UUUUU! MANDALAY I'VE COME AFLAME AGAIN!
    • Definitely Crosses the Line Twice.
• Professor Impossible meeting Brock:
  Professor Impossible: Samson? You're Venture's bodyguard, you just wanna beat me up! Well come and get me.(Does a weird, hilarious looking boxing stance with his powers.)
  Brock: Stop wigglin' around you jackass!
• Underbheit in "Past Tense": "As usual, your detective skills are impeccable, Samson. You've succeeded in exposing my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino."
  • From the same episode, Orpheus getting payback on Action Man shooting him via impromptu "Fortune Telling":
    Orpheus [grabbing Action Man's hands] Two years, seventeen days.
    Action Man: What?
    Orpheus From a stroke. Good day, sir!
  • Bonus points for it being a Brick Joke a few seasons later.
    Crl. Gentleman: We're all going to die!
    Action Man: Not me! I still got two more years!
• Trial of the Monarch: "Mecha Shiva? Mecha Shiva! MECHA SHIVA!"
  • The explaination is hilarious: in a flashback, the boys recall how they formed "Mecha-Shiva"—a badass transformation sequence worthy of Voltron, culminating in the creation a giant four-armed battlebot warrior. Flashback Monarch looks about ready to pee his pants...until the flashback ends and the scene cuts to the present, where an annoyed Monarch is shouting over Hank and Dean. Turns out, Mecha-Shiva is just Dean sitting on Hank's shoulders while they both wave their arms and shout "Mecha-Shiva!" over and over.
  • The eventual lampshading of Hank's bizarre euphemisms when Brock and Dean finally ask what his problem is.
    Hank: And they kill clean! Don't let dames get in the way!
    Brock: Honestly Hank, where do you pick this stuff up?! I never see you read!
    Dean: It's weird, right?
    Brock: It's like he channels dead crazy people!
    Hank: You think it's a cry for help?
  • Dr. Venture's incessant snark throughout The Trial Of The Monarch and especially during Orpheus' testimony:
    Orpheus: If you are after mere parlor tricks, you will be sorely disappointed. If I reach behind your ear, it will not be a nickel I pull out, BUT YOUR VERY SOUL!
    Venture: Good night, ladies and gentlemen, you've been a great crowd.
  • The judge chastising the Monarch for his behavior in court, telling him he's on thin ice but instead of getting off the ice he jumps up down like an epileptic having a conniption fit. Followed by the Monarch screaming his head off about his so-called "Jury of peers."
  • That the entire plot started off because someone (21 and 24) wrote an unauthorized biography about the Monarch behind his back. It includes a passage where the Monarch shoots himself in the thigh while in a diner and needs help from a waitress.
    21: You told me he wouldn't find out!
    24: You're such a dick, you put his face on the cover!
  • The Monarch saying said book is actually a suicide note, and the euthanasia will be carried out by him. 21 and 24 then shoot some poor bastard with a tranquilizer dart and pin a note that reads "I did it" to the back of his head. What happens to the guy?
    Dr. Girlfriend: You should have replaced his blood with acid after this part! The sharks are never gonna touch him now.
    The Monarch: Thanks, Dr. Girlfriend. LOWER THE GIANT HAIRDRYER!
  • The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend arguing about her past relationships.
    The Monarch: Here's a photo of you sitting on Monstroso's lap!
    Dr. Girlfriend: That doesn't mean anything look at his lap, it's HUGE. There's like five of us on it.
  • When Phantom Limb gives Dr. Girlfriend her old Queen Etheria costume, she notices some hard chunks stuck to it. Phantom Limb says they're his "Tears." Cue the Monarch, in court, screaming about Phantom Limb "Pounding his INVISIBLE MEAT-!"
• The incredibly epic and quotable scene of another episode with The Monarch in jail talking to juvenile delinquents using their vernacular. Priceless.
  • Had to include the first part.
  Monarch: You're here cause you done f(beep)ed up too many times! Sure, you think you're hot s(beep)t in a champagne glass, but you're really cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!
• Are You There God, It's Me, Dean is a weird mixture of funny, awesome and heartwarming. Due to an impasse forced by The Guild of Calamitous Intent's rulebook, Hank and Brock are at the Monarch's place while Rusty treats an injured Dean. It happens to be the Monarch's birthday and an incredibly slow day, since most of his scheming is about Venture and at this moment he can't really do anything. Brock feels sorry for him, so he starts fighting his henchmen and wreaking havoc, just so the Monarch can have a bit of fun and prove himself as at least an entertaining villain. Once Rusty calls, they immediately cease their shenanigans and attempt to do their best not to show anything suspicious.
  • Not to mention the entire subplot and reason for this happening in the first place, Dean having what's essentially described as his testicles being twisted. Billy spends the second half of the episode committing surgery trying to fix the problem, and by the time the episode ends, it's like we're right back at the beginning but paraphrased. Then Hank's testicles get twisted too. The entire episode ends with the Ventures obviously reading off a teleprompter for an awkward and stilted message about testicular torsion.
  • And this exchange shortly after lampshading Hank sleeping in his Limited Wardrobe.
    Monarch: What about you, you need anything?
    Brock: I didn't sleep in my clothes.
    Beat
    Monarch: 27, burn his sheets!
• Rusty's response to the problems Gargantum 1 was suffering. "Why this thing didn't follow down Skylab I'll never know."

Season 2

• "Powerless in the Face of Death":
  • After the death of Hank and Dean Venture at the end of Season 1, we get the Hank and Dean Death Montage. The sequence Crosses the Line Twice a dozen times in a row in rapid succession and alludes to several Noodle Incidents for good measure along the way. And the music in that scene is just so chipper.
  • One quick moment shows Hank jumping off the Venture compound dressed in a cheap Batman costume and holding an umbrella. Probably the least-surprising Surprisingly Realistic Outcome ever.
  • Another just cuts to Hank and Dean sleeping again, but this time nothing appears to happen. Then:
    Dr Venture: We had a gas leak that time. The silent killer.
  • "Look, if you have a clumsy child you make him wear a helmet. If you have death-prone children, you keep a few clones of them in your lab."
  • In the same episode:
    Orpheus: Who is your grief counselor, Mother Teresa?!
  • Also in that episode when the new, underdeveloped clones escape and Rusty tells Brock to put them back.
    Brock Sampson: Ugh... I hate touching them. They feel like giant Stretch Armstrongs.
  • The Monarch distracting the guards during his escape by firing drain cleaner at one, vomit powder at another, and using his tiny cellmate as a projectile to hit the third, which apparently killed the little dude.
• The scene where Henchman 21 is singing an a capella rendition of "Mars, the Bringer of War" from Holst's Planets Suite while kitting up for his return to the Cocoon, with hi-tech sound effects. And then 24 joins in.
• The plan to retake the Cocoon from henchmen who turned out to be gangbangers... is led by 21, 24, The Monarch and Dr. Venture, all armed with 21's nerd paraphernalia (including Hulk Hands and Magic: The Gathering cards)
  The Monarch: What the hell are we supposed to do with this crap? Make them laugh so hard they blow malt liquor out of their noses?
  Dr. Venture: No, I think we'll have that part covered when we storm the room in butterfly costumes.
  • Brock dispatches one gangbanger by extending one of his fingers, bending his arm around his back, and shoving the thug's entire hand up his own ass.
• Victor Echo November, the boys are on a double date, and Hank tries to impress.
  Kim: I'm going to be a supervillain!
  Hank: Yeah, I'm gonna be Batman (said with unbelievable confidence).
  Both Brothers: Go Team Venture!
  Triana: See, what did I tell you?
  Kim: Uh, I think I just found my first archenemies.
  • Or earlier, when Hank gets water on his crotch? Funny. When he tries to dry his pants off, only to light them on fire, and Dean repeatedly slaps him in the crotch? CMOF!
    Hank: It feels like a guy with a fever is yelling at my junk!
  • Triana and Kim meeting Dr. Girlfriend in the restaurant's bathroom:
    Kim: Excuse me, we had a question...
    Dr. Girlfriend: *sigh* Yes, I belong in here. I just have a really deep voice.
    Kim: Oh. Well, we had another question...
  • Brock rather harmlessly stabbing a Guild Blackout agent for info. When he removes the blade, he comes convinced he's dying. Even begging Brock to sign a Technotronic song to him.
  Brock: *Sigh* Baby let me...
  • Brock—completely naked and covered in blood, with a knife clenched in his teeth—crashes through the window of the men's room where Hank and Dean are. They don't question it, and barely react at all.
  Dean, pointing matter-of-factly at Brock: Naked.
• "Twenty Years to Midnight":
  • The Grand Galactic Inquisitor: "IGNORE ME!" and of course later in the episode where he sees a baby unattended: "Someone lost a baby... IGNORE ME!"
  • His voice sounds like it's being run through the low-quality, rattling speaker of a drive-thru, and it makes Hank grab his balls in pain.
  • One of the funniest scenes from Twenty Years to Midnight. Especially the ending, which the video unfortunately cuts off:
  Dr. Venture: [Wakes up] Ack! I thought I was done with those crappy dreams!
  Inquisitor: [Hunched behind Venture] THAT WAS A WEIRD ONE.
  Dr. Venture: Great! You can read my mind!
  Inquisitor: IGNORE ME! [beat] YES, I CAN.
  • Rusty's rage towards the alien:
    Rusty: Why. You. SON OF A BITCH! Do you know what you just put me through!? What the fuck were you thinking!? What kind of fucked up planet are you from!? Where you think showing up as my dead fucking father, is suppose to make me feel any better!?
    Alien: Look, I-
    Rusty: YOU PRICK!
    Alien: Look, I just saved your entire planet.
    Rusty: PRICK!
    Alien: Alright, Fine! You wanna see, Here!
    (Shows his true form, causing everyone to get scared shitless)
    Alien: There! That would've been better!? If I showed up like that out of nowhere!? Look at you, you practically crapped your pants! *points at Ned* Except for him. HE CRAPPED HIS PANTS!
    Ned: *hangs his head in shame* Boom boom...
• "Love-Bheits":
  • Brock Samson tortures one of Underbheit's henchmen for info by squeezing his groin. He finds a lump. Cue sad and awkward conversation.
  • And afterward, when the guy sorrowfully limps off, Hank gives him a wedgie.
    Brock and Rusty: (Furious) HANK!
    Hank: Well, I didn't get to do anything!
• "I Know Why The Caged Bird Kills"
  • From The Stinger in "I Know Why The Caged Bird Kills", Doc has spent most of the episode denying that Myra is the boys' mother. However, Hank and Dean keep questioning him about the holes in his story, until finally, he responds with this:
    Dr. Venture: All right! So I f***ed her! What of it?!
• The Monarch's henchmen's reaction when they discover Brock Samson and the Ventures are locked in one of the cocoon's holding cells... after being given specific instructions not to screw with the Venture family with The Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend's wedding coming up:
  Oh shit... I thought I dreamed that part!
• "Dr. Orpheus, it's your landlord. We're trapped in a cliche. Use your fake impossible magic to get us out."
  • "Hank, get off those spikes! It's not a ride!"
  • "Spiked walls? How fast?" "Uh, slower than 'haunted house' spiked walls, but not quite as slow as 'evil scientist' spiked walls."
• "Argh! WHO IS HECTOR MOLINA? AND WHY DO THEY KEEP SENDING ME HIS JUNK MAIL?!"
• Watch heckling Ward to pick a song in "Venture, Echo, November"
  Ward: How many Yaz albums do you have on here?!
• The Sovereign taking out Klaus Nomi by covering his mouth in mid-scream, backing up his superpowered falsetto and causing him to inflate and pop like a balloon.
• 21 and 24's attempt at striking out on their own: To recap, 21 forges an incredibly fake arching license, the "leather outfits" he promised 24 were Double Dare jumpsuits with ridiculous helmets, 21 is too fat to fly so he has to borrow 24's rocket pack and goes hurtling out of control and sets his shoes on fire, and he picked the codenames "Jet Boy and Jet Girl", which 24 refuses to dignify. 24 sums up his view on the experience thus:
  I can't hear you! Because I hate you!

Season 3

• The flashback in Shadowman 9: In the Cradle of Destiny where we see Phantom Limb revealing his supervillain status to Dr. Girlfriend:
  Phantom Limb: Behold! [drops his pants to reveal his invisible legs]
  Dr. Girlfriend: What... happened to your legs?
  Phantom Limb: What do you know… of evil?
  Dr. Girlfriend: Why? You... "evilled" your legs?
  Phantom Limb: Evil is misunderstood. Society slaps our wrists and tells us to simmer down while she wages her murderous wars, destroys our planet, and prays to the mighty dollar.
  Dr. Girlfriend: ... And then she made your legs invisible?
  • Also, this little bit of Medium Awareness:
    Monarch: W-wait. Did that video have a wipe?
    Councilman 2: Councilman 3 got Adobe Premiere.
    Councilman 3: Was it too showy? I thought it would make it more lively.
    Monarch: And why did you change the music?
    Councilman 4: Pardon?
    Monarch: A man remembers what was on his car radio when he taps his future wife. That was not the song.
    Councilman 4: Oh, we couldn’t afford the rights.
    Councilman 5: Einar's was ready to sign, but Bjork's lawyers just would not budge!
• Hank and Dean T.P. Dr. Orpheus's corporeal form while he is astral projecting.
• Rusty and JJ's phonecall in The Doctor is Sin is full of them, but one moment in particular stands out by showing just what the difference between the two of them are.

  JJ: (chuckles) You saw the Super Scientific American piece, did 'ya? That must've been one of the gals in my PR department. (gets a call on another line) whup! Hang on a second!

  Rusty: (while JJ is on the other line, confused) You have a Puerto... Rican department?

  • At the end of the episode, Rusty is having a minor breakdown over learning that he's not as good a person as he thought he was. His attempts to get Brock to reassure him don't help.
    Brock: Doc, you okay?
    Rusty: (voice wavering) I... I don't know. I...he...He thinks I'm a... Brock, am I... a... bad person?
    Brock: The hell just happened?
    Rusty: Am I, Brock?!
    Brock: (makes a face and makes a gesture that screams "kinda") Ehh-hhh.
• This exchange between 24 and a captive Dermott in "Tears of a Sea Cow":
  24: Who are you?
  Dermott: I'm Hank's friend!
  24: Eh, I doubt that.
  Dermott: Would you believe I'm... Brock Sampson's long lost son?
  24: If that were true, I don't think I would have caught you so easily.
  Dermott: I couldn't run because... I had a lighter up my ass.
  24: Okay, now I believe you're Hank's friend.
• "The Buddy System"
  • The Pupae Twins are undercover and recording footage of the Venture Compound. The Monarch is watching on his laptop.
  Monarch:Yes! This is perfect! How do I record this?
  (presses some keys)
  Monarch: Ah, crap! I just made an umlaut!
  • When Brock is teaching a Judo class to some kids, Dermott begins heckling him, and acting like a Know-Nothing Know-It-All combat expert. This leaves Brock, an actual combat expert, completely flustered.
• "What Goes Down Must Come Up":
  • Rusty's dirty mind. (The first half of this conversation plays over an Establishing Shot of the compound, for extra Innocent Innuendo, before we see they're just trying to do something with a huge vehicle with a drill on the front):
    Dr Venture: That’s it. Just like that. Easy! Pull back a bit. God, you’re right on top of me!
    Brock: Can’t help it. It’s— it’s stiff, Doc. Maybe I should lube this thing up before we take it down there.
    Dr Venture: It’ll be fine. It’s not built for speed. It’s built for deep penetration.
    Brock: All right, that’s it. You promised, no penetration jokes.
  • "Brock, I'm trapped down here with a confessed arsonist! HELP ME!"
• "The Lepidopterists":
  • The Pirate Captain's tranquilizer dart addiction:
    (holds out tied-off arm) "I'm not supposed to be in here!"

    "I got the daarrrrt monkey on me back! Oh, it's like gettin' sucked off by an Angel. A sweet angel with a... tranquilizer—"
• "ORB":
  • Brock attempts to readjust his car, which leads to some hilarious results regarding Brock's easily broken temper.
    Brock's Car: Clearance level: 10. Identification required.
    Brock: Alright, uh-
    Brock's Car: Incorrect identification!
    Brock: That wasn't a number, that was-
    Brock's Car: Incorrect identification!
    Brock: I KNOW, KNOCK IT OFF!!
    Brock's Car: Incorrect identification!
• "The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together Part 1":
  • After Brock finds Hank with him in his car:
    Rusty: Oh well hello, Mr. No Radio Contact. (Dean, cheerfully in the background: Hi, Brock!) Miss us already?
    Brock: Take a look around the cockpit, Doc. You forget something?
    Rusty: Er, travel bingo...?
    Brock: Try your son, Doc.
    Rusty: No, Dean's right here-
    Brock: HANK, ASS!
  • Doc thinking the boys are roughhousing: "See, boys? This is why daddy has to drink to relax!"
    • Which gets funnier when Brock dumps the body in the bathroom.
• "The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together Part 2":
  • "The Cleaner" that was alluded to in the previous episode turns out to be Mr. Clean himself, using cleaning products both to clean crime scenes and melt people's faces.
  • The implication that Molotov regularly dresses like May Day.
    Molotov: You haven't exactly been discreet.
    Brock: Oh, like that getup is! Though I gotta admit, for a disguise, it's pretty good. Hardly recognized you.
    Molotov: Wh... What disg— I'm off duty!
    Brock: (laughing) That's... that's how you dress when you're not Catwoman-ing around? I-I may have to rethink this whole relationship.
  • The lead-up to the death of 24. Just the pathetic way he says "I don't know", like even he can't believe what a dumb idea it was to buckle into a car that wasn't running. Somehow, it's also a Tear Jerker.
    21: Why did you buckle it?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
    24: (sheepishly) ...I don't knooow! *The Monarchmobile speeds off with 24 inside*
    21: WHY DID YOU BUCKLE UP?! WHY!?!
• A scrapped Cold Open for "The Family That Slays Together, Stays Together" that was released on the Season 3 DVD set has the Monarch and his henchmen successfully storm the Venture compound and even go so far as to kill Brock... only for this to happen.

  Dr. Girlfriend: (walking up to 21) You did it! I could not be more turned on! Kiss me.
  (21 and Dr. Girlfriend start making out)
  A second Dr. Girlfriend: What. The. (bleep) is that all about?!
  The Monarch: What are you doing?!
  (the scenery suddenly transforms to reveal it was all a hologram, and 21 was making out with a robot)

Season 4

• "Blood of the Father, Heart of Steel":
  • The plot of the episode revolves around a group of neo-Nazis trying to clone Adolf Hitler. Rusty refuses to assist them on account of how cliche the concept is. Events transpire to have Hitler's soul and genetic information transplanted into a bulldog. But this isn't revealed until late into the episode, which is framed in Anachronic Order, leading to some proper gems.
  • The way Brock says in an off-handed, friendly, and totally normal sort of greeting;
    Brock: Hey, Hank. Killed Hitler.
  • Before that: "Well, I can cross 'Stabbing Hitler' off my list of cool crap I never thought I'd get to do."
  • Before that, when Dean says (at the time out of context due to the anachronic order of the scenes) "I love Hitler and Hitler loves me! Why can't you just give Hitler a chance?"
  • This comment from Orpheus:
    Orpheus: Bad news, Dean. Your dog is the spawn of hell.
• "Handsome Ransom":
  Dr. Venture (talking about Hank): Do you know what Mr. Smartmouth called me when he stormed out of the house this morning? A honky.
  Monarch: *snrk* Did you really?
  • The (fake) hostage exchange.
  Dr. Venture: How did you lose Hank?
  The Monarch: (kicks him in the crotch and takes his briefcase) The same way you just lost ten million dollars, genius!
  • Captain Sunshine simply dropped The Monarch in jail.
  • This exchange:
    Hank: Why do you have a car when you can fly everywhere?
    Captain Sunshine: Because it also turns into a submarine! [chuckles] God, you ask way more questions than he did.
  • Captain Sunshine has a minor Freak Out over Wonder Boy not wearing his seatbelt.
  • Scoprio taunts Captain Sunshine over the loss of the previous Wonder Boy, and Captain Sunshine loses his temper, steps out of his car, and attacks Scorpio, though not before briefly being at a loss for words as he tells Scorpio to shut up.
    • After attacking Scorpio, Captain Sunshine asks Wonder Boy if he's okay, then grabs him and yells "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO YOU?! DO YOU?!" Hearing Kevin Conroy ham it up is absolutely hilarious.
  • Cliff Scarsdale freaking out after learning Wonder Boy is in danger.
  • The Monarch, dressed as Wonder Boy, taunts Captain Sunshine by insinuating he wants to have sex with his sidekick, all the while Captain Sunshine freaks out and backs away from his foe.
  • Captain Sunshine quoting The Godfather.
  • The episode ends with Captain Sunshine ordering everyone out of his Sanctum Solarium in response to Hank asking if he can put a good word in to Batman.
• "Perchance to Dean":
  • The end when the deformed Dean clone mistakes a Rusty-statue-bomb for the real Dr. Venture:
    Dean clone: I LOVE YOU DADDY- *explodes*
    [Pan over to the real Dr. Venture and Sgt. Hatred]
    Venture: Who the Hell was that?
• "The Revenge Society":
  • This bit:
    Future!Rusty: I'm you from the future! We have to finish our time machine before the Angels of Destruction find the portal!
    (Dean and Rusty stare in fear and shock. Future!Rusty shifts back into David Bowie.)
    Bowie: Just messing with you.
  • Pretty much everything involving Phantom Limb's "teammates", especially Red Mantle and Dragoon's reactions to the sheer lunacy on display:
    Phantom Limb: Meet Wisdom, our fix it man. [pulls out a mug with 'Wisdom' written on it] Demolitions, communications, new technology. Wisdom's the one we- hmm? Oh! And yes, the spiritual heart of our team. Namaste, Wisdom, forgive me.
    Dragoon: That is a mug!
    Phantom Limb: A face only a mother could love! But what a mind! [pulls out a toaster] That's Chuck. Named so for his abilities in the ancient art of nunchaku. He's the muscle! Also quite handy with dismantling traps. Hmm? Oh, [laughs] but not very humble! Chuck you imp! He's always doing that.
    Billy: [From inside the bag] Why can't I hear them?
    Red Mantle: Because you are sane!
    Phantom Limb: [Holding up a woman's high heel shoe] The looker here is Lady Nightshade. Her skills are obvious. But hands off, gentlemen, she's spoken for.
    Dragoon: ... Am I missing something?
    Red Mantle: The man is a fruit loop!
  • The whole "1659" gag.
  • Rusty's "list of inappropriate behaviors." "Number one: this! Don't do this!"
  • This exchange between between David Bowie and Phantom Limb:
    Phantom Limb: Don't move, or I'll activate this! (pulls out Wisdom)
    David Bowie: Oh, please don't activate a broken coffee mug.
  • This other bit:
    Red Mantle: Two heads are better than one!
    Dragoon: What does that have to do with anything?
    Red Mantle: Nothing, I've just been wanting to say that all day. I got sick of waiting for an opportunity.
  • The Reveal near the end when it flashes back to when Sandow and Lloyd Venture are talking about the orb. This time everything is shown. The previous flashback made it look like Sandow killed Lloyd by snapping his neck. However, it is revealed that he simply crushed the orb instead. At first, Lloyd is pissed and Sandow, without missing a beat, tells Lloyd that his orders had been to kill him. Lloyd, also not missing a beat, instantly changes his tune, forgives, and even thanks Sandow. Then pointedly mentions that they should never speak of it again.
• "Self Medication":
  • Talking about Scooby-Doo:
    Dr. Venture: Well Daphne I believe she got around quite a bit, but Velma? I always thought she was...
    Action Johnny: Everybody did, but I got a pack of herpes that say otherwise.
  • And speaking of... Action Johnny starts a barfight.
    Johnny: Hey, nice cold sore. You been kissing your wife's ass again?
    Beat
    After I put herpe on there.
• "The Better Man"
  • Triana is sitting with her cat watching Dr. Orpheus attempting to open a portal:
  Dean: Ooh, can I pet your pussy?
  Triana: There's no irony in that, is there?
  Dean: No, it's soft. [The cat hisses and runs off] Your pussy hates me!
  • From the same episode, the entire 'gay dingus' conversation between Hank, The Alchemist, and Jefferson Twilight:
    Hank: Hey, can I ask you something? You're... gay, right?
    Alchemist: Yeah...
    Hank: What's it look like? I mean, does it look real or is it all Frankenstein?
    Alchemist: Hank?
    Hank: Your dingus. Does it look real?
    Alchemist: What's this kid crazy talkin' about?
    Jefferson: He thinks you're transgender.
    Alchemist: Hank, it looks real because it is real. I'm gay, that doesn't mean I was born a woman! I have a regular "dingus," as you say.
    Jefferson: Hank, aren't you just a little ashamed of your ignorance?
    Alchemist: Just a little?
    Hank: Yeah, constantly.
    (This conversation went on a bit longer in the deleted scenes, the next two lines weren't in the final episode)
    Alchemist: Can I give you some advice? Run away from home. Why do you stay?
    Hank: Three words: Free. Cable. Television.
  • And later when the triad is in hell:
    Jefferson: I'M TOTALLY MAGIC!
    Alchemist: Ugh, we are never gonna hear the end of this!
• "Pinstripes & Poltergeists":
  • The opening, where Brock and Shore Leave bust down a scientist's illegal operation, has this:
    Brock: Signal me. (shoots a grappling hook with a rope up to the ceiling)
    Shore Leave: Oh, there's a ladder right there!
    Brock: Yeah, that's a lot of fun.
  • When Hunter states Billy and Pete will be getting mind wipes:
    Hunter Gathers: How's that metal high five treating you these days, huh?
    Billy: ...With all due respect, I. Hate. You.
    Hunter Gathers: I know! and tomorrow, you will love me!
  • When intruders arrive at the front gate:
    Dr. Venture: [Looks at watch] Ah, intruders at the front gate...
    The SPHINX: INTRUDERS AT THE FRONT GATE! THE SPHINX... HAS... SPOKEN!
    Hunter Gathers: ... How much you want for that watch of yours? Ours is way too creepy.
    • It gets even funnier in contest: S.P.H.I.N.X. used to be a supervillain group that the OSI wiped out in in the '80s. Apparently the current S.P.H.I.N.X., having left the OSI due to their disgust with the OSI's bureaucracy, decided to take up the banner as a vigilante group. Unfortunately no one has had the presence of mind since then to replace the massive talking Sphinx statue that serves as the base's alarm system with something a little more mundane and have just been dealing with it for all these years.
  • Hunter Gathers, Shore Leave and Mile High's "sacrifices" speeches.
    Col. Gathers: I had my pug removed, then reattached.
    Mile High: I pretended to be in love with Shore Leave!
    Shore Leave: (irritated) Oh, and I pretended to enjoy having sex with him every night!
  • Monstroso offering the Monarch a cigar four times in the space of a minute, despite Monarch's repeated refusal. The final time, Monarch just gives up.
    Monarch: All right, fine, give me a f#*@ing cigar!
  • At the end of the episode, 21 goes to pay Monstroso a visit... and then botches his cool entrance by not being able to open the door.
    (door rattling)
    Monstroso: Can I...help you?
    21 (from the other side of the door) Is this locked or something?
    Monstroso: It goes counter-clockwise.
• "The Diving Bell VS the Butter-Glider":
  • The Butter-Glider song. Good God, the butter-glider song.
  • Also, just about everything Hank said during "The Diving Bell VS the Butter-Glider".
    • He made a Golden Compass reference. Hank. Made a Golden Compass reference. For no reason whatsoever.
      Hank: An aeronaut! And an armored bear...
    • "I'm all out of gun food!"
    • "I told you it was gum."
  • The Operation thing, mostly when Shore Leave joined in.
  • Dr. Mrs. The Monarch's distinctly un-ladylike "MOTHERFUCKER!" when she tries to get in bed and stubs her toe on the Butter-Glider... which The Monarch has taken to sleeping with.
  • And the Monarch get this awesome line when he first swoops in on the glider:
    Monarch: They're henchmen, you don't explain it to them. They do your bidding. When you say jump, they say, "What shark?"
• "Pomp & Circuitry":
  • This quote:
    Dr. Venture: This must be one of those Take Back the Night rallies... Great place to pick up chicks, by the way! Meow! Yeah, a little college tip there for you from the old man.
  • Hank delivers a pretty awesome speech in front of the S.P.H.I.N.X members about why he should be allowed to join them and when he finishes, one minion stands up and starts to slow clap, then the Colonel throws his phone at the back of his head, knocking him out.
• "Every Which Way But Zeus":
  • The whole fake kidnapping, but especially Dean coming in at the end with the Teddy Ruxpin.
    • The entire conversation with Doctor Venture and the Teddy Ruxpin.
      Teddy: I love sliding down rainbows!
      Dr. Venture: Crack? Meth? PCP? I can get you anything you want, it'll be our little secret.
      Teddy: Let's cuddle!
      Dr. Venture: You untie me and I'll do things your girlfriend would never do for you.
  • At the summit, before General Treister shows up, Tiger Shark recognizes Brock and tries to get revenge on him for sleeping with his wife by diving across the table towards him... but he comes up just short, and looks around awkwardly before Brock grabs him and slams him into the table like a wet towel.
  • Pretty much General Timothy Treister, especially the meeting on how to find Zeus:
    General Treister: One: In all reported cases the abductor was Zeus, the Greek god of thunder and rock 'n roll. Yes! Agents Kenan and Kel!
    Councilman 3: We just want it on record that we don't like our code name.
    General Treister: Noted! Two: In all cases, Zeus was floating before the abductee. Explanation? Yes! Agent Kelly Clarkson?
    Gathers: Son of a bitch was wearing a jetpack.
    General Treister: Ah! If you read the print, you would know that no latent fumes were detected. Thank you for wasting the ink on my printer! Yes! Agent Matthew Perry!
    Professor Impossible: Mirrors. Holograms. According to the print, there's no account of anyone actually touching Zeus. He could've been a projection.
    General Treister: Oh You beautiful deflated man, don't make me feel guilty for the mean things I said about you on my blog!
    Professor Impossible: I read the supplied material.
    General Treister: Well, while your head is up there, can you take a look at my prostate? Daddy fears the can-cer. Yes! Agent Orville Redenbacher?
    Stormfront: The abductee was under the effect of a hallucinogenic!
    General Treister: Not bad, Orville. Agent Topanga Lawrence?
    Brock: Flight mutation. You know, maybe the guy could actually fly.
    General Treister: Finally! Now, I want you to- (Councilman 3 raises their hand) What now, Agent Kenan?
    Councilman 3: Okay, I'm just gonna throw this out there: What if it is Zeus? The actual god Zeus? All... pissed off because no one cares about Zeus anymore?
    General Treister: I'm... just gonna rule that one out. Break up into groups! I want you all to have solutions by the time I finish this juice box. Warning! I am thirsty! And it is fruit punch! And it is delicious!
  • Plus the entire "power inhibitor" exchange:
    Ward: Okay, who's getting the shot?
    Phantom Limb: Okay, but you may have to give me it in my derriere. Needles can't penetrate my electro-impalpable limbs.
    Ward: Needles? Yeah good one! Try HUGE SPIKES!
    Watch: They're wonderful, and frightening, and they go into the sides of your neck and replace all your blood!
    Ward: You get your blood back at the end of the summit, unless that whole "loss of life" thing happens. Then we'll send your next of kin a big jug of blood and a very nice card!
  • After going to a strip club off-screen, Brock and Gathers discuss how small and sad a stripper's tits were. They describe them as things like "mournful", "a dollar's worth of change in to some old socks and taped them to her chest", and "two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra". This is made funnier by the fact that they are sitting in a jet fighter.
    Gathers: I want to build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral.
  • The kidnapper tries to make White and Billy fight each other, but they drop their weapons like they can't even be bothered with them and start having a strange old married couple argument because they're still cranky about whether one of them is the sidekick:
    Billy: What is with you, huh?
    White: With me?! I do everything for you, fella!
    Billy: You boss me around like you gave birth to me!
    White: I might as well have given birth to you —
    [unintelligibly simultaneous yelling]
    Masked Man: Stop! Stop that fighting and fight! We want to see you fight! Stop fighting and fight!
• "Everybody Comes To Hank's":
  Sgt. Hatred: Yeah I always wanted to run my own hash house. Oh and by the by we only serve eggs now. Scrambled with ketchup.
  Billy Quizboy: I've been sitting here for hours eating nothing but eggs waiting to do this!
• "Bright Lights, Dean City":
  • "Violet Hour hide!"
    • "Hot sandwich! You've murdered the Venture boy!"
  • "Briiiiiiick Frog!" He doesn't even get to explain himself before the Revenge Society asks him to leave.
  • Dr. Venture trying to kill his alternate self with a rock and take his place.
  • Everything about the musical. RUSTYYYYYYYY!
    • On grand adventures, they pushed me with them, for mayhem! Who's Rusty!
  • The Bear
    • "And he has a knife... superpower."
• 21 and Dr. Girlfriend dressing up in S&M gear and a cheerleader outfit respectively to distract the Moppets.
  • The Ego:
    Ego: And the little guy is Eros. The jerk who made The Rusty join match.com.
    Eros: He's gotta at least try to get some lovin.
    Ego: And the one with the umbrella is Thanatos. The... jerk who made The Rusty quit match.com.
    Thanatos: Hey, many of these women could be murderous gold-diggers or at the very least carriers of chlamydia.
  • "What happened today was 'like a nightmare'. What happened when I was 16? That is my life!"
    • That's... really depressing.
  • The vomiting thing:
    (Orpheus is getting ready to exorcise Rusty when he notices that Shore Leave has a bucket, Hank has a camera, and Dean has a rain slicker.)
    Orpheus: And the bucket?
    Shore Leave: Oh. That's for the geyser of pea soup vomit.
    Orpheus: And the camera?
    Hank: Also for the vomit.
    Orpheus (To Dean): Do I even have to ask?
    Dean: They said there was gonna be vomit.
    • The kicker is later when the boys brace for possible vomit: Hank readies the camera and Dean puts his hood up.
• "Operation P.R.O.M.":
  • Turns out The Monarch doesn't care that 21 and Dr. Girlfriend kissed; they're swingers.
    The Monarch: I've seen her suck Manta Claus dry, then fix him breakfast in the morning!
    21: Ew! Is that true?
    Dr. Girlfriend (cheerfully): Eggs and buttered toast!
  • The final line of the episode:
    Dean Venture: You know what I think? Fuck you!
  • The scene right before that where Dean mistakenly dresses up as a KKK member.
  • Alchemist, Shore Leave, Colonel Gentleman, Watch, Ward, Triana, and Brock all describing a "Rusty Venture". Transcript follows.
    • Rusty's reaction to this news is arguably funnier than the acts described.
      Rusty: WHAT?! My name is a sex act?! When did that happen?!
    • Here are the various definitions provided by said characters, in Urban Dictionary form.
    • This video^note Warning: it's uncensored. is arguably better, if only because it contains what is probably The Reveal straight from Brock's mouth.
  • The Mutated Fly Rusty uses for Spanish Fly:
  Billy: Oh My God!
  Rusty: Don't touch it, it spits acid when it's angry and I already got it angry when I ripped its wings off.
  • General Treister having a post-it note on his chest saying "Fix it!"
    • After shooting himself out of a rocket wearing an American Flag like a toga, hoping that aliens would cure him.
  • "I've got a date for the prom!"
• Rusty on some of the women invited to his 16th birthday party.
  • "And I think actual whores. Real prostitutes."

Season 5

• "What Color Is Your Cleansuit?":
  • This conversation between St. Cloud and Billy:
    St. Cloud: Just 100 pennies. Eat them, and the plasma engine is yours.
    Billy: I'm not gonna eat pennies!
    Pete: Billy, eat the pennies. It's just pennies. So you poop pennies, big deal.
    St. Cloud: All right, I'll sweeten the pot.
    Billy: What, a H.E.L.P.eR model?
    St. Cloud: It's the real H.E.L.P.eR, thank you. I recently purchased him from Dr. Venture.
    Pete: Aw, he sold H.E.L.P.eR too? That is just cold.
    St. Cloud: Eat the pennies and he's your as well.
    Pete: Just eat the pennies.
    St. Cloud: Eat the pennies, Quizboy.
    Pete: Eat the pennies.
    Billy: I won't eat pennies!
    St. Cloud: Listen to your sidekick and eat the pennies.
    Pete: I am not a sidekick! Billy, eat the damn pennies already!
    St. Cloud: Eat the pennies.
  • The follow-up: St. Cloud changes tactics, challenging Billy to a quiz competition and asking him to bet Pete on the game. Billy accepts immediately.
  • There's also Sgt. Hatred's talk with one of the green-clad workers on the rayshield project on the mutants walking around.
    Sgt. Hatred: Jeez, you guys move fast. Only been here what, three months and you've got legends of saviors?
    Tom: You're talkin' about a bunch of geeks from State University. You mutate that kind of outcast, and it gets all Syfy channel original feature real quick.
  • In the opening scenes of that episode, Rusty wakes up the morning after the prom, after apparently having sex. He turns around to his partner and wakes "her" up.
    Rusty: Alright babe, time to hit the road. Daddy's got work to do.
    (The "woman" turns around showing she is a mantis like monster.)
  • There's this bit which doubles as Nightmare Fuel. Sergeant Hatred is told that Rusty's college interns only eat "student green" (Referring to the students in green suits). Hatred finds out the interns are mutating into giant monsters and witness's one of them eat the green suit interns.
    Sergeant Hatred: Oh god, it's people. Student Green is made out of people! (cuts to him being carried off by other mutants, oblivious to what's happening) WE GOT TO STOP THEM SOMEHOW!! WE GOTTA TELL DOC, STUDENT GREEN IS MADE OUT OF PEOPLE!!!
  • The Monarch cosplaying as Khal Drogo for some bedroom roleplay, only to find that Dr. Girlfriend thought he meant Ivan Drago and cosplayed as Rocky. To his frustration, Dr. Girlfriend has never heard of Game of Thrones.
    The Monarch: You were supposed to be my Khaleesi!
  • The best part is when Tim-Tom comes in halfway through their conversation, dressed as Mickey.
    Tim-Tom: You're a bum, Rock!
    Dr. Mrs. The Monarch: Not now, Tim-Tom!
  • Followed later by Kevin, dressed as Clubber Lang.
    Kevin: I pity the fool!
    The Monarch: No! Leave us, imp!
  • A bit of dark humor: When Dr. Venture tries to clear out a compound (which earlier in the show was made into a nest for different animals), Billy lures out a gorilla as bait, which Hatred then shoots dead. He then turns around to find the Gorilla's offspring looking for their mother. He shoots them as well, in tears. The next scene when he sets up the tents he's still crying about it. All this scored to that same peppy "Zoom, zoom, zoom!" song from "Careers in Science" that also accompanied Hank and Dean's Death Montage.
• "Venture Libre":
  • Dean's utterly calm reaction to an Army unit bursting into the kitchen, guns aimed at everyone's heads.
    Dean: May I be excused?
    [gets up and leaves]
  • Rusty foreshadowing Hank's reaction to caffeine:
    Rusty: No caffeine for this one. The last time you got a hold of some dark chocolate you were up two nights straight destroying my walls to build a murphy bed.
    Hank: Murphy beds. Still haven't found all of 'em. I am that good.
    • Becomes a Brick Joke a few minutes later when Dean, looking for supplies to repair H.E.L.P.eR., ends up getting hit by one of the beds.
  • And Hank's actual caffeine high was hilarious (as well as one long CMOA for him), including his increasingly unhinged inner monologue.
    Hank: Yes, Mother, I shall become a bat.
• "Sphinx Rising":
  • Rusty and Hatred mistaking Hank's excited chatter about "being ready for destiny" for him having a date with an actual woman called Destiny.
    Rusty: I knew this day would come, but come on, "Destiny"? Destiny is a stripper's name — that's a loose woman. He's going to be having dangerous sex with a trollop that has "pray for us sinners" tattooed across her forehead.
    Hank: (off-camera) I told you I can handle it! I'm ready to be a man!
    Rusty: Aw, listen to him. He's like his old man. But he's too young for someone named Destiny. He should be with a Pam, or a Pamela.
    Sgt. Hatred: Or a Pammy.
    Rusty: Pammy? The boy is not ready for a damn Pammy!
  • When Hank starts wearing the Strength Suit of the former Countess of Sphinx. Highlights include:
    • Calling himself a 'golden goddess'.
    • Destroying the ceiling and floor of Sphinx H.Q. when he first tried the suit.
    • Prancing around as if he was a typical Ms. Fanservice female second-in-command, with multiple ass-shots of his armor.
    • At one point forgetting that he was in a Strength Suit.
  • Gary showing that he worked for the Monarch for way too long.
    Gary: Alright, [the Cocoon] is coming in low and slow. That's classic Monarch "look at my cool new thing" approach.
    Hatred: Should I ready the extinguishers?
    Gary: Psst, please. He only uses fire and lasers at night. I got my money on acid, or a magnet kind of thing.
    The Monarch: READY THE ACID MAGNET!
    [Hatred neutralizes the acid magnet with some help on where to fire]
    Gary: Okay, now he's in a panic. He's gonna have to do something, or he'll look like a total douche. So here's where he makes the incredibly bad decision to-
    The Monarch: JETTISON THE LUNCH ROOM!
• "Spanakopita!":
  • It's revealed that Hank has kept the Countess' armour from the last episode, and his body language when wearing it remains as fanservice-y as ever.
  • This exchange:
    White: You know, I've known Rusty for like twenty years, and I have never seen him like this.
    Billy: What, happy? I know, it's kind of creepy.
  • Brock having slept with some of the women on the island and thus having kids that look exactly like him. When one of the women asks to speak to him via Hatred's communicator, Brock immediately hangs up.
  • The Original Team Venture's epic battle against L. Ron Hubbard.
  • Billy's Clash of the Titans inspired dream in all its Harryhausen-esque glory, especially Kraken!St. Cloud going "Raurgh" in his soft, snooty voice.
    • This line in the same dream:
      Kraken!St. Cloud: Harryhausen is a friend.
  • White actually bursting into flames when the sun touches him.
• "O.S.I Love You":
  • Molotov escapes from the in-air O.S.I facility that she was held at along with Monstroso while the doors close for lockdown. Brock tries to catch her by flying a jet out of the closing doors... only to be ejected out when the jet gets crushed between them. His deadpan delivery really sells it.
    Brock: Shit.
  • The complete disbelief of the Mister interviewing him makes it even better.
    Mr. Frost: YOU FELL OFF? How the hell are you still breathing oxygen?
  • And the funniest part? The Misters were The Investors, Brock's claim of how he fell off and the fact he survived made something that had possibly seen things that would make it seem trivial attempt to call BS on that.
  • Hank is still wearing the strength suit.
    Hank: No man can fight his destiny!
    Doc: Or your stench. You're really starting to stink in there, Hank.
  • Hank sniffing his pits during the scene transition afterwards.
  • Brock letting out a groan as Monstroso and Cocktease give OSI a "show".
  • Gathers' tit-envy returns after he see Hatred with a pair. Along with that, after Hank finally gets his suit off, the doctor tells him he should be able to work back most of his muscles. Cue this line from Gathers:
    Gathers: You'll never get over the lost of your breasts! You'll miss them forever...
• "Momma's Boys":
  • The ending is this what with Hank's, Rusty's, and Dean's faces.
  • Plus the villainous introductions of Viceroy, Enrico Matasa, Flying Sidekick, and especially Crime Robot.
    • Everything Hank says as Enrico Matasa, particularly with his obsession with the word "Hank"
  • Hank's explanation on how Rusty easily fell for his ruse. If you've seen '70s-era David Bowie punching out a man with no limbs on your front yard, you would believe anything.
  • During the riot at the asylum: Hank weakly flipping a table over and then walking away for no reason other than to contribute to the madness.
  • Just the fact that Rusty actually thought that Ted was real is hilarious. Failed a Spot Check at its finest.
• "Bot Seeks Bot":
  • St. Cloud being denied access to the Guild nightclub. Followed by Brock and Shore-Leave in villain disguises being let in.
  • The episode ends with the Monarch confronting Rusty alone, only for the disco ball that Shore Leave was cutting earlier to fall down and crush him. It's so out of nowhere, it's hilarious.
    The Monarch: Alright Venture, it looks like I got you right where I w- [Rusty is crushed by disco ball]
• "The Devil's Grip":
  • Rusty learns the hard way not to flirt with Dr. Mrs. The Monarch as she treats his injuries.
  Sheila: (after taking Rusty's pants off to fix a dislocated joint) Are you allergic to epinephrine?
  Rusty: No, I'm not allergic to any anesthetics. I'm not allergic to hand lotion, either, if you want to give me a happy ending.
  Beat
  Sheila: Oh, never mind. (tosses out the needle and fixes the joint with no anesthetic, causing Dr. Venture to scream)
  • After all his monologues about 21 being his favorite henchman, we get this gem from the Monarch after Hatred shoots the cocoon into the house.
  Monarch: Who the fuck is Gary?
  • Dean's answer to the first item on "Colonel Gentleman's list of things not to do".
  Dean: I can safely promise that I won't get involved with a six-year-old.
  • The whole sequence when Hatred attacks the Cocoon with his Hover-tank, especially when he says Gary that he still hates him but that he's got to get out of there! Also counts as a hilarious call-back to season 4, in which he said that he didn't want to pilot the X-1 at night because he kept mixing-up the lights with the lasers and blowing stuff up by accident. Also, the obligatory Hindenburg reference when the cocoon crashes and explodes in a huge fireball.
  Hatred: OH THE HUMANITY!

Season 6

• "All This and Gargantua-2":
  • Sgt. Hatred realizing a little too late what the power being back on means for the fire trucks he called to put out the compound. Cue the trucks being shot to shit by the lawn-mounted lasers.
  • The Captain's accordion rendition of "Mmm Mmm Mmm" By the Crash Test Dummies during JJ's funeral in the epilogue.
    • The fact that it was part of JJ's will.
  • Killinger matter-of-factly denying the Monarch a Guild spot.
    • After he heals Dr. Mrs. The Monarch of her gunshot wound, he gives her a lollipop. Which she does, in fact, eat.
  • "I'd like to exchange 20 Hank bucks for some of your fake plastic money."
  • Treister's triumphant return and transformation into a Hulk.
    • The first thing Treister does when he recovers from being frozen in space: he mistakes JJ and Billy as aliens.
    Treister: The star people fixed my pee-pee cancer!
    • Dr. Venture's utterly deadpan reaction to seeing him out in space, hulked out, punching asteroids.
    Dr. Venture: "Eh, learn not to ask."
  • The pile of stuff that comes out of Fat Chance after he's incapacitated on Gargantua-2, especially the zebra (which becomes a Brick Joke thanks to Amber Gold).
  • The Monarch's Evil Laugh causing his wings to open... While he's wearing a space suit and helmet.
    "Ah-HAHAHAA—*wings pop out and envelop his face*—Dammit."
  • That Gary or rather the Sovereign makes a Totally Spies! reference and actually refers to "Alex, Sam, and Clover," which means that Totally Spies! is an actual show in the Venture Brothers universe.
  • As the Sovereign is detailing his plans to destroy Gargantua-2, Phage keeps pointing out the Sovereign's butchered metaphors and misquotes with increasing frustration.
  • The Monarch, in Daredevil fashion, uses gasoline to create his fiery logo on the Venture lawn. This ironically leads to the entire compound burning to the ground.
  • In one of the most hilarious Anti-Climax moments to date, the eagle form Sovereign being shot down by Headshot entirely on accident.
  • Zero points out that the name "Meteor Majeure" is a bit inaccurate because the term "meteor" refers to an object that falls in Earth's atmosphere, something that Prof. Impossible agrees with due to its scientific accuracy. They also point out that it is too big to be considered a "meteoroid" and debate few other more accurate names like "asteroid" and "satellite", only for Phantom Limb to say they keep the original name due to its alliteration.
• "Hostile Makeover"
  • The opening scene where the Venture group moves to NYC after getting JJ's inheritance including the bit where Dr. Venture meets with his new staff and tells them "YOU'RE ALL FIRED!"
  • The return of the pirate captain's tranquilizer dart addiction.
  • Brock likening Hank's new appearance to Justin Bieber.
  • What is Richard Knight's superhero name? Nightdick.
    • The fact that he goes straight to his backstory immediately after saving Hank.
  • HELPeR spends the entire episode being one-upped by the Ventures' new robot, but finally gets his revenge in The Stinger in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment where he just casually shoves JBot off a ledge.
• "Faking Miracles":
  • During the party, Hank tries to hide from Wide Wale's guards. He hid in a bathroom where Red Mantle/Dragoon are with Redusa, and she finds out that Red Mantle is two people, and shrinks Dragoon's head, making him sound like a baby whining.
  • Billy and Pete controlling Dean through the nanobots while he's studying with Brock. In short order, Dean starts vomiting, lifts Brock over his head, his heart suddenly stops, and then he starts speaking in ancient Babylonian. Brock, who just wanted to help Dean, has no idea what just happened and promptly leaves.
• "Rapacity in Blue"
  • 21 shows that Blue Morpho/Monarch's dad is actually a bad guy by showing a video of him and Jonas Venture with two prostitutes. Unfortunately, Monarch watches more of the video and...
    Monarch: OH MY GOD. THEY'RE NOT MY MOMMY!
  • Brock's flowery, anguished declaration of lust to Warrianna, all in Patrick Warburton's hammiest voice. She's a little weirded out at first, before deciding to roll with it.
    Brock: Your beauty is your strength, and I submit to it. Take me, and let me know what it's like to be with a woman. There is nothing in this world but your power and me, the only man who can see it. Let me worship at your altar. Let me know the pleasure of a real woman.
    • During his whole speech to Warriana, he's under the affects of Dr. Ventures new mind affecting gas. Not only does it cause him to lose all inhibitions to declare his feelings for Alexis but when the bell-hop of the guilding tries to stop him from coming into the apartments, Brock grabs him by the throat and uses him as a door knocker by banging him against the front door. Alexis' reaction to Brock holding up a half-dead bell-hop like a bouquet of flowers is hilarious.
    Alexis/Warriana: Oh, Heracles what an unpleasant surprise. And you brought me a corpse. How thoughtful.
    • Her reaction, going from confused to turned on, to Brock's confession is both funny and a little sexy too.
    Alexis/Warriana: I'm gonna tire you out, brave Heracles. Break you upon my wheel.
    Aftarwards she picks up Brock by the collar and carries him inside for presumably a lot of Destructo-Nookie.
  • The rats dosed with God Gas establish an Abrahamic religion —complete with its own Christ figure— that eventually devolves into a despotic cult, with a ruler on a throne made of rat bones and surrounded by rat heads impaled on sticks. All of this goes completely unnoticed by Rusty, Billy, and White.
• "Tanks for Nuthin'":
  • Few of the guild members are there via hologram, prompting Dragoon to ask why bother going to the asteroid when they can just use holograms.
  • Watch and Ward give Dr. Venture a guild helpline card, and when Think Tank attacks, he calls them while Brock and Think Tank attack each other.
  • Monarch/the new Blue Morpho decides to flyby to Venture's to take a dump in his pool.
  • Brock wakes up after being with Warrianna back in Rapacity, and gets saved by her when Think Tank shoots him, she decides to go back after hearing what happened.
  • Both Think Tank and Battleaxe die because Battleaxe swerved and crashed into Think Tank and they both fell into the hole, killing them...or not, since Battleaxe can be seen in the next episode and Think Tank shows up in the hospital in Season 7 in a coma.
• "It Happening One Night":
  • Everything about the Doom Factory. A post-modern group of villains that throw a drug-fueled party in the Venture compound while filming a bizarre art film with Rusty in his underwear, all so they could steal his technology. Rusty is left confused on what just happened.
  • Yumi, the Ninja Restaurant.
  • Sirena couldn't help noticing that Hank had set up a bunch of little skits with his friends to try to impress her, considering that they ran into "four different albinos". (Four different albinos with extremely strong Boston accents, even!) Hank's implausible excuse is that maybe "albinos have strong pack instincts".
  • After Blue Morpho(Monarch) lands on Venture's roof, a button gets pressed by the ground, blowing up the Doom Factory lair and killing all of the villains there. His only reaction is to geek out to it towards Dr. Venture and state how awesome it was.
• "A Party for Tarzan":
  • The reason for the guild ranking system? It was because a small time villain named Turnbuckle kidnapped Rusty as a kid and fought against The Action Man. Turnbuckle's only weapon was boxing gloves and he told The Action Man to kiss his ass. No points on how it ended up.
  • Billy has four drinks and predictably gets super drunk. Including for some reason suggesting that Rusty should have invited "that fox from the Carfax commercial, the Carfax fox" (which sounds really funny when he says it.)
• "Red Means Stop":
  • Even though the threat Red Death made to Blue Morpho was massive Nightmare Fuel, the response from Monarch and 21 were funny. Short version, they were scared shitless about Red Death going all Liam Neeson on them.
    • Hell, Red Death in general is pretty funny in a comically serious way, which is only helped by his being voiced by Clancy Brown. The best part is how quickly he transitions from an all-powerful supervillain ready to destroy you and everyone and everything you ever so much as looked at to a doting husband and father.

Season 7

• "The Venture Bros. and the Curse of the Haunted Problem"
  • Dr. Orpheus's astral projecting body is being carried around by Jefferson and the Alchemist, who immediately drop him when they see that the Venture penthouse has a pool.
  • "I know who you are, Dr. Orpheus." "Is that so? Seven unaccepted friend requests would suggest otherwise."
  • The return of Enrico Matassa. Made Hilarious in Hindsight in the next episode, where for all of Wide Wale's talk about paper thin disguises, he let Hank waltz right in as Enrico... though it's possible that he saw through it and was playing along.
• "The Rorqual Affair"
  • The Monarch attempts to threaten Wide Wale into letting him arch Dr. Venture, by flipping a knife on his table into the air and throwing it at Rocco... except it doesn't work because he throws it with the hilt pointing at him.
  • The Monarch becoming friends with Rocco, with the two of them even sharing a laugh about people with fake accents at Wide Wale's expense.
  • The fact that The Monarch and Wide Wale are able to convince Dr. Dugong that they're really just playing Cops and Robbers. Rocco has no idea what's going on, but he plays along and tries to get Sirena to do so as well.
• "Arrears In Science":
  • Dr. Z installed a literal good-evil switch on Vendata when he rebuilt him.
  • Red Dragoon's thoughts on Vendata during Red Death's explanation of what really happened on Movie Night.
    Red Death: But Vendata wasn't laughing. He suddenly got this real serious look on his face.
    Red Mantle: Did he have any other look?
    Dragoon: The man was a genuine cybore.
  • The Original Team Venture accidentally dropping Jonas causing his frozen body to shatter.
    Dr. Venture: You guys found him like that?
    Action Man: Uh...
  • When Jonas uses an overly-long technobabble to explain to Rusty how he is able to speak to him through his wristwatch, Rusty’s response is an annoyed-sounding “WiFi, Dad. We call it the WiFi,” in the same tone he’d use to address Hank or Dean. Keep in mind that this is the first time they’ve spoken in over 20 years, and Jonas has been pretty much dead during all this time.
• "The High Cost Of Loathing"
  • The Monarch having a daydream about pulling a heist on Rusty, and stealing an important material from his ship: Handy Dandy Facial Cream.
  • Doctor Z's inspection and states Monarch's ranking is now a 5.
  • With a lack of money, Monarch steals from the bank and fights against the Brown Widow, whose webs come from a place more anatomically correct, much to his disgust:
    Monarch: (after the Brown Widow shot the web) Aw, did that just come out your a-
    Brown Widow: Widow Kick
    [Brown Widow proceeds to kick Monarch's ass]
  • With Hatred at the hospital, building security is left to H.E.L.P.eR. Whose idea of security is holding a gun to everyone in the lobby while screaming.
  • Monarch arching Victor von Helping is a massive, very funny failure on his part: none of the people there take he and 21 seriously, frustrating him more and more, until the funny hits its peak when Gary and then the Monarch hit Von Helping, hurting their hand and foot respectively. He also says hi to Dean, much to Dean's dismay.
    • Made even funnier when Dean, frustrated with the Guild having plagued his entire life, dramatically reaches into his sweater pocket and pulls out... a checkbook, and writes the Monarch a check for $1 million with a memo saying "STOP IT!!!!" to get him to go away.
• "The Inamorata Consequence":
  • The boys reacting to Brock smashing through a barricade with a car:
    Hank: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City!
    Dean: Flash FM! [makes radio noises]
  • We hear a brief conversation between Brock, Phantom Limb, and Shoreleave, where Shoreleave apparently tells them about James Bond having a BB-gun, leaving them shocked.
  • Dermott returns, as an OSI agent and screws with Hank when he sees him again.
  • Watch and Ward doing the horn and introduction to the Guild, and one of them blowing the horn at the wrong times.
  • The fantasy that Hank has when dealing with Stranger S-464 and OSI Agent McManus (the sniper from Season 6). Both Hank and Dermott laugh when McManus finds out that S-464 has "pee-pee" on his belt.
  • Doubling as an awesome moment, Rusty declaring both the OSI and Guild to be children who complain about things "not being fair" when they don't get everything they want instead of making compromises. During everyone Stunned Silence at this, Brock awkwardly lowers the knife he was just threatening to throw a few moments ago.
  • After the treaty has been signed, Rusty notices that Dragoon is not responding. Red Mantle states that it is past his bedtime and is only sleeping.
• "The Bellicose Proxy"
  • Monarch's reaction to meeting St. Cloud. The Monarch and 21 are baffled as to how St. Cloud could be a mere level 1 villain when he's clearly filthy rich. Then they meet him and understand completely why he's only a level 1.
    Monarch: Are you f**king kidding me? That's St. Cloud?
  • After Dr. Mrs. The Monarch successfully convinces S-464 to become The Mole to the Peril Partnership, Dr. Z bursts into the room and starts incoherently yelling at him... only to realize he entered the wrong room.
  • Dr. Z's imaginary makeover montage of S-464.
    Dr. Z: And then we'll all get milkshakes!
    Mrs. Monarch: I'm not doing that.
    S-464: I don't particularly want to do that, either.
  • St. Cloud repeating P.E.N.I.S, and Monarch and 21 laughing about him repeating it. What's especially funny is how obvious it is that the Monarch and 21 made up the acronym just to trick St. Cloud into saying "penis".
  • Rusty's line "That's how the Monarch spells his Evil Laugh!", with the implication that the Monarch has written out his evil laugh at least once before.
  • Lets face it, St. Cloud getting the shit beaten out of him by Rose is funny, and well deserved.
  • Dr. Mrs. The Monarch being more interested in finishing her latte than in actually watching St. Cloud's arch, because "it was nine dollars! For a latte!"
  • The "fight" between St. Cloud vs Pete and Billy, an awesome fight that involved all sort of cool things...caused by the laughing gas that St. Cloud deployed, and accidentally getting gassed.
• "The Unicorn in Captivity"
  • Brock gives Doc the wrong setup:
    Brock: It's for your own good.
    Doc: Oh, sure, that's what the Nazis said!
    Brock: No. They didn't.
    Doc: W-well, I-I thought you were about to say you were only following orders.
  • Presto Change-O trapping Brock by transforming into a stair stepper. Brock gets so hilariously pissed at how cartoonish the diversion is (and the fact that it's working) that he stabs Presto in the head.
    Brock: (in a blind rage) ...STUPID!
  • Gary driving with the teleporter in the passenger seat when the Monarch escapes through the other teleporter. The Monarch pops up in a fetal position. They both scream with surprise and Gary crashes the truck while he's distracted.
• "The Terminus Mandate"
  • Rusty meets with Night Dick and hears about Teresa Didae (a black widow), and all he cares about is getting laid.
  • The fact that in order to be on the council, the council will need to retire and do one last arch. The people they arch are Johnny (Z), Novia (Dr. Mrs. The Monarch), Gathers (Phantom Limb), Curtis Sliwa of the real-life Guardian Angels (Wide Wale), Right Wing (Radical Left), and nobody (Red Mantle/Dragoon). The ways they settle it are worth a mention (except for Wide Wale, Red Death, and Z).
  • Johnny's dog, Buddy gets the Anubis mask on him, Z's henchmen actually think it's Anubis and run away. Made better in that it's a spot-on parody of a scene from Jonny Quest.
  • Red Mantle and Dragoon keep delaying their final arch with eating and Downtown Abbey, and as it was mentioned on the list, they had no more arches since they outlived everyone.
  • Wide Wale tells Rocco to slap Sliwa around a bit and then take him to dinner since Sliwa is "good people" and leave it at that.
  • While preparing for Didae, Rusty has Dean pretend to be her and go through the process on what he needs to do, only to fail at the drinking part.
  • Radical Left vs Right Wing had them fight against each other in a game of Cluedo, best out of 5.
  • At the bridge, Col. Gathers and Phantom Limb are ready to fight each other, in a literal dick measuring contest.
  • The meeting with Novia/Teresa Didae and DMTM was both heartwarming and sad, up until Dr. Mrs. The Monarch revealed she stole Teresa's wallet.
  • Rusty passing out drunk across Teresa's lap, followed by Brock's red-dot laser sight instantly appearing on her forehead:
    "...I didn't DO that!!"
• "The Forecast Manufacture"
  • The Scare Bear is back, but is overall civil.
  • When Rusty and Billy hear Pasgetti from Brock, they decide to troll him:
    Billy: Can you say library?
    Brock: What do you mean?
    Rusty: Brock, can you say manipulate?
    Brock: [beat] Oh f**k you guys.
  • The way they are getting more henchmen, a Karate school, but 21 hitting the student causes her to cry and the owner getting angry at 21 for hitting the student.
  • Dr. Z and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch talk to Monarch and 21 on The Creep, and show what he looks like...with a model of his face in chicken tenders and write what they need to do (assassinate). Z realized that they will have to eat both.
    • Before the mission, Z implies that they would need to kill The Creep, but doesn't say it outfront, making Dr. Mrs. say they should assassinate him.
  • The Creep decide that he, Monarch, and 21 will play the most dangerous game to decide if they are worth entering the Peril Partnership... Dive Bomb with lawn darts.
  • The Creep's death was from him being distracted by a time traveling Rusty and Billy, and having a lawn dart go through his head. Monarch and 21 decide to not report that he died from Dive Bomb. Also Monarch getting pissed at the Time Traveling Doc because he referred to him by his birth name thinking he was in the time of 70 million years ago.
    Billy: (dressed as a Confederate General complete with Beard) We killed the caveman!
  • Rusty and Billy find out who was piloting the weather machine, Stranger S-464. They talk about how women refused to be with them, so S-464 took the weather machine and Rusty created a fake Facebook profile to try to get to Didae again (after she put a restraining order). Billy is not impressed with what Rusty did, and so was S-464:
    S-464: (about Rusty making a fake Facebook profile to ask Didae out again) Actually, that is maybe worse. I just gave the kids a snow day, you are a cyber stalker.
  • Hank finds out why Sirena wasn't responding, and is also relieved that Dean and Sirena can see the Scare Bear. He also has some weird reason for why they are naked and looked like they were having sex.
• "The Saphrax Protocol"
  • The level 10 ceremony is supposed to be big, what we see is the Monarch and 21 putting their hand in the creature's shit, doing the made you look to "kill" someone, and "have sex with their opponent's wife."
  • The coma dream that Hank, Action Man, and Phage went through, especially the end:
    Action Man: That kid has moxie.
    Phage: That kid has undiagnosed attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
  • Brock totally decimating a Guild blackout team is as awesome as it is hilarious. Immediately after giving his awesome Badass Boast over the PA system, he reaches under the table and bemoans Sgt. Hatred for not keeping a gun behind it, making for a funny bit of character development from the first seasons where he would only ever kill with his fists or a bladed weapon.
  • Brock then corners one soldier in a conference room, who then shoots the metal plate on his chest. Brock shrugs it off, and then this happens. What's more funny is that he wasn't shocked or terrified at how bad they were willing to not be killed by him, but annoyed.
    Guild Soldier: (after watching Brock stand back up) What are you?
    Brock: I'm the guy who's gonna shove this blade so far up your a—
    [the soldier suddenly foams at the mouth and dies]
    Brock: Oh, come on! When did they issue poison teeth to you guys?! That's CHEATING!
  • A later scene in the massacre has this exchange:
    Brock: (after letting out a primal scream) Hang on, I gotta take a whiz. Wanna take a whiz break? (addressing the room full of dead Guild soldiers) Anyone wanna take a whiz break?
    Guild Soldier 1: Like... for real? You serious?
    Brock: Yeah, seriously. What about you, guy with a bead on me who needs to reload?
    Guild Soldier 2: [gun clicks] Damn it! How did you—
    Brock: I learned to count when I was three. Do you need to piss or what?
    Guild Soldier 2: ...Yeah.

Specials

• "From The Ladle To The Grave: The Story of Shallow Gravy":
  • Many from the "Jacket" video:
    • Dean dressed up as the devil dancing around the campfire
    • Dr. Venture in drag.
    • Pete Whites cameo when they say "Double Breasted Jacket!", complete with smug grin.
  • H.E.L.P.eR.'s appearances in the special, beeping for a bit with a bandanna around his head while at a strip club.
  • Dermott claiming that he got in trouble as a youth and he and his family were on the lam a lot as a result... only for his mom to tell the cameras they've lived in whatever undefined area the Ventures live in his entire life.
  • Dermott figuring that he has to become an ultimate fighter during the band's brief separation.
  • The first interview with a digitally blurred Gary on Shallow Gravy's first album:
    Gary: It was just about 30 minutes of what sounded like an exploding car made out of bases. It was awesome.
  • The Monarch's Cameo
  • During the sequence of Billy and Pete recording the band we have Pete swinging Billy over Shallow Gravy on some kind of harness.
  • Dermott nunchucking himself in the back.
  • Dermott telling the camera that he decked Dean's ass.
    Dean: He's lying, I decked him!
  • The Brick Joke of "I thought we set the kitchen on fire." Sgt. Hatred does not look pleased.
• "A Very Venture Halloween":
  • "Super fuckin run away!"
  • Dean and Ben's conversation After Ben tells Dean he's a clone off-screen
    Ben: Look I was conceived in the backseat of a packard, you were conceived in a tank so what?
    Dean: So I have no mommy, no daddy?
    Ben: Dean you have it all wrong. You have a mommy and your dad is your dad, they made you by getting drunk and forgetting to wear a condom like everyone else. And when you got a boo-boo, your dad patched it up.
    Dean: You brought me back to life!
    Ben: Well you and your brother had some pretty big boo-boo's.
  • Ben's monkey Rico's obsession with Dean's balls. "That just means he likes you, or your balls at least."
  • Orpheus' master turning into Santa (long story) and blasting away hundreds of zombies with a Spirit Bomb is this for being so out of left field and a CMOA.
    Master: Don't worry, Orpheus, they didn't know daddy's gun had bullets in it.
  • Also the Master ending up telling the party members the true meaning of Christmas... on Halloween.