Funny / Geek Remix

Neverending Nightmares

• Upon getting confused by a painting of a vulture and Jump Scared by a bird colliding with a window soon after, Mari speculates that the game has a "bird theme" - but due to the nervousness, she ends up making it sound a lot more dire than it actually is, much to Stacy's amusement.

"Maybe there's a bird theme! OH NOOOO!"

• More than once, the duo's efforts to make jokes to ease the tension are derailed by jumpscares or genuinely creepy discoveries, resulting in some pretty funny reactions. In one case, Mari tries to make light of blood on the edge of the bathroom vanity by claiming that Thomas was trimming his pubes in the sink... only for a close-up shot to reveal that the sink is full of blood and teeth - prompting both Stacy and Mari to let out perfectly-synchronized yells of alarm.
• (Stacy, pretending to be a child) "I'm not going to bed, there's cool stuff to do! Like get creeped out and shit my pants!"
• After a long rant about how, as kids, they used to leave all the lights on when they were alone in the house in order to avoid getting murdered by a ghost, the two eventually find themselves in a pitch-black room. In the end, they're so spooked out by the darkness and the unnerving noises on the soundtrack, they have to exit. A little while later, they find a candle... and are immediately consumed with dread over the fact that they have to return to the dark room.
  • Initially horrified by the discovery of a perfect duplicate of Thomas lying dead in said room, Stacy and Mari soon crack up upon noticing Thomas' lack of reaction, and start making jokes about how he's suppressing everything... only to be immediately overwhelmed with dread all over again upon leaving the room and discovering that the corridor outside has gone dark as well.
• While Stacy cringes in horror in disgust at the sight of Thomas ripping the veins out of his arm before waking up again, Mari just bellows "WHAT. THE FUCK?"
• Stacy and Mari's first encounter with one of the Creepy Dolls dotting the house: the two are so startled by the sight of the face under the doll's veil, they can only respond with a very loud "UMMMMMMM..." before both break down into nervous laughter. Then, upon noticing that the doll is wearing a wedding dress, Mari assumes that they're about to be haunted by some kind of wedding ghost that's going to make her feel bad for not getting married yet - then trails off and starts screaming at her mother to shut up about never being a grandmother.
• The discovery of the first wardrobe they can hide inside.
  Stacy: What's in it?
  Mari: Narnia!
  Stacy: What's in the box?!
  Mari: Narnia!
  Stacy: WHAT'S IN THE BOOOOOX?!
• Everything about the Giant Demon Babies. For one thing, Stacy and Mari have decided to hide in a wardrobe when one of them shows up, causing horror-struck screams as they realize that they would have gotten caught and killed if they hadn't gone for the wardrobe. Then, not long after they leave the area, another one punches though the wall behind them, prompting more terrified screams as they try to escape; then, just as it looks as though they're getting away, the ground gives way under Thomas.
• Soon after, the two of them get scared in quick succession by both their dog and the Creepy Doll that they were examining, resulting in screams and exasperated yells at AJ.
• Upon finding themselves in an asylum, Mari relates the story of how she was sent to a psyche ward for depression, only for the staff to treat her as if she was an untrustworthy psychopath. As depressing as this is, Stacy manages to brighten up the moment by quipping "These aren't the crazies you're looking for."
  • After checking the every observation window on the cell doors so far, Mari warns that they're probably going to find something fucked up in one of them. Immediately after, they find a cell covered in bloody scratches with the words "MY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?" written on the wall in blood. And they get jumpscared by the eyeless inmate leaping in front of the window.
  Stacy: You mean like that one?!
• In the final section, having ended up in the "Destroyed Dreams" pathway, the two are reduced to near-total silence by the terrifying atmosphere and the stress of being hunted down by Nightmare!Thomas, and eventually have to apologize on the grounds that "we're trying to survive, here!"

Life Is Strange

• In the final "Life Is Strange" episode, Mari and Stacy begins discussing the concept of crying and why it's okay to do which begins with a real scientific explanation of how it works. It soon ends with Mari joking in a serious tone that it's due sadness why tears taste so good. Mari takes her seriously and is deeply disturbed.
  Mari And that's why other people tears taste so good cause you can taste their sadness.
  Stacy: What!
  Mari: (Confused) What! What! What! What!
  Stacy: When did you taste other people's tears!?
  Mari: (Burst Out laughing) It was a joke. Is it though?
  Beat/ Stunted Silence
  Mari: (Burst out laughing) It's a joke I swear.
• If you finish watching their entire playlist for Episode 1 of Life Is Strange and finish listening to their theories, it's funny to scroll down to the comment section to see fans freaking out months later over how Mari and Stacy pretty much called everything from the beginning.

Until Dawn

• Mari trying to dramatically read along with the opening titles, but keeps getting cut off by the titles fading out, much to her annoyance.
• After meeting Jessica - a blonde cheerleader-type with her hair in pigtails - Mari immediately declares that she's gonna be the first to die. Doubly amusing is the fact that, due to mistakes made during the big chase in Chapter 4, Jessica really is the first member of the group to get killed off.
  • Also, when Jessica's re-introduced in Chapter 1, Mari is immediately unnerved by the weird grin on her face during the freeze-frame introduction and declares her to be insane; for added fun, Stacy is annoyed by this because Mari had already gotten unnerved by the skeevy-looking grin Chris was wearing in his introduction, and worries that she's going to do this for every character in the game.
• The discovery of their first totem does not go over well with Mari: even before she sees the premonition of Beth Washington's violent death, she declares "fuck, we're fucked."
  • On a related note, the discovery of The Events Of The Past; while messing about with the totems screen in Chapter 1, Mari happens to press the triangle button and is given a look at the two segments of the video they've unlocked so far: a perfectly sedate glimpse of "some dude" and a terrifyingly-edited split-second montage of bloody eyes and teeth while an ominous voice proclaims "And driven mad!" Again, it's all down to the reaction of the two: Stacy is clearly bewildered and alarmed, while Mari is cracking up at the sudden change in tone.
  • And it happens again when they discover a totem that predicts Mike getting his hand caught in a bear trap. Already spooked, they decide to take another look at what they unlocked in The Events Of The Past, and find another horrible anatomical clip with the ominous voice narrating "Human Flesh!" Stacy just bursts out laughing.
    Mari: Great things are gonna happen, man. This sounds awesome.
  • And at the third time they examine The Events Of The Past, Mari correctly guesses that that the true villains of the game are Wendigos, eventually leading her to also guess that Hannah has become a Wendigo from eating Beth's corpse, and that Josh is out to get the rest of the party for revenge.
• Stacy "not having the chill," and jumping at every little noise - at one point jumping out of her chair at the unexpected sight of a deer, contrasted by Mari's total lack of reaction. For good measure, this becomes the key reason why Stacy insists that Mari handle the controller, especially when it turns out there are sections in which the player must stay perfectly still at all costs.
• Mari is halfway through explaining that she and Stacy are going to play Until Dawn until dawn, when the Mystery Man shows up with a machete in hand, prompting a loud exclamation of "WHAT THE FUCK."
• Seconds after meeting Emily, the two correctly predict that she's going to get into a fight with Jessica because she was once romantically involved with Mike, Jessica's current boyfriend, and Mike isn't going to do a damn thing about any of the arguments that will ensue... but then Mari theorizes that it's going to end with Jessica and Emily discovering that they've been nurturing crushes on each other all this time and entering into a committed lesbian relationship, to Mike's dismay.
  • On a similar note, when Matt decides to be diplomatic with Mike rather than antagonizing him, Emily sarcastically asks if the two are gonna make out... and Mari can be heard enthusiastically exclaiming "yes!"
• Stacy's utter bewilderment over Josh's bro-tastic mannerisms, in which she wonders aloud if people actually talk like this - only for Mari to confirm that, yes, there are people who do indeed talk this way. Eventually, Stacy just gets annoyed and grumbles "can you just talk like a human?"
  • On a similar note, Stacy also expresses confusion at the number of sex puns being exchanged by Mike and Jessica, only for Mari to confirm this is the case, citing herself and her boyfriend as an example.
  Mari: I make sex puns at my boyfriend and he, like, groans at me and then I make the dog high-five me. [both crack up]
• Latching onto the idea that Wendigoes are the true threat of the game, Mari used the animal skulls decorating the lodge as proof of her theory, noting that real cow skulls don't look like that - and are secretly Wendigo skulls. Stacy counters by suggesting that the game designers just didn't know how to draw cow skulls. It later turns out that Wendigos don't have skulls like that at all.
• By now suspecting that Josh is a serial killer in disguise, the two begin doing as many nice things as possible for him so as to avoid his wrath. Then they start panicking as they descend into the lodge's Creepy Basement, and speculate that Josh will be waiting for Sam, ominously whispering "Only you. Only you. You will be my QUEEEEEN!" Again, they're partly right about Josh being a bad guy.
• The pranks Jessica plays on Mike brings up an incident in which Mari scared Stacy by hiding under her bed for an inordinately long period of time, and another one in which Stacy scared Mari by hiding a life-sized cutout of Captain Jean-Luc Picard in her shower.
• When they finally get to the cabin, both Stacy and Mari begin suggesting possible controls for the inevitable sex scene.
• When the killer/monster throws Jessica's phone through the cabin window just as Mike and Jess are about to get it on, the two speculate that it's going to say one of two things: "I HAVE COME TO SLUT SHAME YOUUUUUUUU!" or "I LIKE THAT YOU CONNECTED ON A DEEP LEVEL, HERE'S YOUR PHONE BACK!!!"
• After discovering that only twelve of the thirty miners survived being trapped by the cave-in, most likely by eating the other eighteen, Mari snarks that this is a lot for them to have eaten, even giving each survivor two dead bodies each - treating the whole cannibalism issue as though it was just bad dieting! Or, as Mari puts it, "Once you go past two, you're just bored-eating."
• Despite finding Emily unbearable at the start of the game for her abuse of Matt and Jess, the two quickly rally around her once it turns out she survived the near-fatal drop from the radio tower and Matt's death at the hands of a Wendigo, and are immediately impressed with the amazing boost in competency and survival skills she displays - even comparing her to Lara Croft. This culminates with Mari declaring that Matt really was useless if Emily's doing so well without him.
  • "Betcha she plays video games but doesn't tell anybody."
  • "So I'm a bad bitch, am I? Well, I'm okay with that!"
  • Comes to a head in Emily's escape from Hannah the Wendigo, in which she manages to outrun the threat through a mixture of quick-thinking and resourcefulness, finishing off with her jumping out of the monster's way not a second too soon and sliding down a high-wire to safety. Mari's awestruck screams have to be heard to be believed:
  [as the monster tries and fails to grab her] LATER, NERD! FUCK YEAH, EMILY!
• In an astonishing bit of timing, Mari theorizes that Hannah is the monster, and is going to show up any minute and say "Hey girl, what's up?" And the second she finishes saying this, the monster bursts through the wall and attacks Emily, frightening the crap out of Mari and Stacy.
• The encounter with the Pyro Guy.
  • First of all, when Chris initially suspects the mystery visitor knocking on the door to be Jessica, even though she was killed by having her jaw ripped off earlier in the game, Mari and Stacy decide to make fun of this by joking that Jessica really has returned alive, somehow surviving despite missing her entire lower jaw, and have good fun mimicking her now-incomprehensible speech.
  • And then the Pyro Guy explains that the real threat on the mountain is a Wendigo. The next few seconds of dialog are drowned out by Stacy and Mari roaring in triumph.
  FUCK YEAH! FUCK YEAH! I love being right!
• After setting the asylum on fire, Mari realizes this was probably a mistake because although it's killed most of the Wendigos locked up inside the building, it's released their spirits into the air, meaning that people on the mountainside will soon be at risk of succumbing to cannibalistic urges. And this gives way to one of the funniest skits in the entire series:
  Mari: And now they're gonna be like "You're super hungry right now!" And we're like "well, we got nuts and stuff for snacks." "No, no, no, you wanna like eat your friends!"
  Stacy: "EVERYBODY'S GONNA DIE!"
  Mari: "No, no, no, you wanna eat your friend, Jess!" "Uh, no, I'm not, like, that kind of girl..." "No, no, no, I mean actually eat her flesh!" "Oh, right. I'm not that hungry right now, though." "Give it a few days..."
  Stacy: "Just wait. She'll taste delicious."
  Mari: "Yeah, but I mean, the helicopter's coming now, I'm sure they've got snacks on there."
  Stacy: "Don't you like chicken wings? It's pretty much the same thing."
  Mari: "No, I'm actually a vegetarian."
  Stacy: "Shit."
  • Now animated!

SOMA

• Their SOMA Let's play features an amazing exchange that all kicks off as a result of Simon comparing the taste of the tracer fluid to "sucking on a penny."
  Mari: You know what else feels like milk and tastes like a penny? (Beat) You know what.
  Stacy: ... are you making a dirty joke?
  Mari: I'm not making a dirty joke - I'm saying blood tastes like that.
  Stacy: Oh. Why do you drink blood? (Beat) Should I ask? (Beat) You know, people are always wondering how we stay so beautiful. They keep asking us!
  Mari: Okay, I'm like... Okay, someone's going to ask me why I know that, and I'm gonna be like... "Well, I lived a whole life before I made this Let's Play channel."
  Stacy: You are not making this better.
  Mari: I... okay, well... nevermind...
  Stacy: (Dramatically) "Stacy, I lived a very dark life before you found me."
  Mari: (Cracks up)
  Stacy: Who says that?! I know we keep it real with each other, but seriously, you are doing yourself no favours...
  Mari: (Sobbing with laughter)
  Stacy: Who are you, Angelina Jolie in 1989?
  Mari: (Giggling helplessly) I can't say it on the Let's Play because people will be like "What the fuck?!"
  Stacy: YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!!!
  Mari: (Dies laughing all over again)
  Stacy: We're going to the lab! Get out of the apartment!
• While Simon is being given a brain-scan by David Munshii, Mari brings up the fact that stimulating the brain with magnets apparently causes the delusion that someone's in the room with you, a possible explanation for ghosts. At this point, Stacy is too scared of the new environment Simon's woken up in, and can only reply with a horrified gasp of "oh good." Mari then quips that Stacy will later find her putting magnets on her head.
• As soon as they awaken in Pathos II, the two are simultaneously terrified and pissed off at being terrified; as a result, Mari spends most of the first episode grumbling at David Mushii - who is believed to have sent Simon into a nightmarish simulated reality except not really - and Stacy, who suggested they play this game in the first place.
  Mari: Why the fuck did you think this was a good idea?
  Stacy: Me?
  Mari: Yeah, you!
  Stacy: It looked... terrifying.
  Mari: Stacy's like "I hate scary games, let's play more! It's only gonna give you night terrors, Mari!"
  Stacy: I thought people might enjoy watching us play it...
  Mari: I hate you. [they both laugh]
• The encounter with the robot convinced it's really a human named Carl Semken - mainly because Mari begins to get very interested in getting into a relationship with him, prompting Stacy to remark that this seems a little too much like pity sex. Later, Mari repeats these sentiments when they discover that Catherine is also a robot.
• Upon discovering the comms center at Upsilon, the two initially suspect that the recorded radio conversations between Strasky and the two engineers, Amy and Carl, are going to degenerate into an Apocalyptic Log... right up until they get to message #3: here, the failing lumar relays mean that Carl's direct message to Heather Wolchezk will have to be delivered by Strasky. Mari gleefully speculates that Carl wants skype sex with his girlfriend, and that Strasky will end up reading out Carl's lines over the intercom: "HEATHER? HEATHER? YOUR BOYFRIEND SAYS YOUR SOFT FOLDS FEEL GREAT ON HIS SHAFT. HEATHER? HEATHER? THIS IS A MESSAGE FOR HEATHER." And the Mari jokes that the real reason why Heather ends up breaking up with Carl isn't because of the public broadcast but simply because he used the word "hole."
  • Now animated!
• During episode 8 Mari's reaction to seeing that Terry Akers has ripped out his own eyes and left them on the floor is to grab one of the eyes and start dancing around, singing "Jeepers Creepers, where'd you get those peepers?"
• While they're prepping the DUNBAT, Mari grumbles for a bit about how Catherine didn't tell them how they would actually start it up, and spends several seconds fruitlessly pressing buttons on a control panel... up until Stacy points out that the console hasn't been plugged in yet. Cue hysterical laughter from Mari.
• Upon discovering that the game's health points look suspiciously like giant puckered orifices, Stacy and Mari immediately christen them buttholes. Naturally, this leads to quite a bit of comedy when they run into one after a particularly anxious section and start saying things like "Yay, butthole!" "More butts!" or "I've never been so happy to see an anus!"
• After hearing that Simon's robotic body is actually the cyborg corpse of Imogen Reed, the two immediately draw attention to the fact that Catherine protested Simon's squicked-out response to his body by saying "she was my... she was nice to me." From this, they begin tossing around the theory that Imogen may have been Catherine's girlfriend - leading to more than just a bit of amusement when they realize that she now seems a lot more comfortable with Simon now...
• The voyage to the Abyss is pure nightmare fuel, but Stacy and Mari manage to make it funny due to the fact that they spend most of the journey nope-ing out about almost everything: the moment they hear a roar in the distance, they don't even bother looking and just run for the nearest shelter, and spend the next few seconds panicking over how big the damn thing must be; after finding that the path ahead has no lights, they frantically hurry back to the nearest control station without saying a word; after acquiring a robot to light the path ahead, the two almost explode with dread when it looks like its spotlights are failing... then, when their robotic helper gets eaten by the Leviathan, Mari once again sprints for cover, reciting "I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know..."
  • Also, upon hastily diving into the nearest cave, the two abruptly discover that they aren't alone.
    Mari: Are we safe in here... with these underwater... spiders? [Mirthless Laughter] Oh my god.
  • For good measure, it turns out that the spiders are harmless, and Mari speculates that if they befriend them, they might protect them from danger later in the game. Stacy does not seem terribly enthusiastic about the idea...
  • Upon leaving the cave, Mari immediately spots what appears to be another one of the lights marking the path ahead... only to discover too late that it's actually a giant anglerfish. Cue massive scream, followed by the two laughing about how the monster managed to fool them even after how scared and jumpy they've been for most of the journey.
• Mari and Stacy just about collapse with laughter upon learning that the WAU's core is essentially a giant version of the health points they've been using up until now - in other words, a humongous asshole. The final boss of the game is essentially a colossal anus and the only way to save the remainder of humanity from the WAU is to jam your fist into it - prompting Stacy to dramatically proclaim that it is now time to "FIST THE ULTIMATE BUTTHOLE." For good measure, this leads to the WAU sending the Leviathan after them... and it's not long before they realize that as terrifying as it is, the Leviathan looks suspiciously wormlike from a distance. As such, Stacy starts singing "Everything is penises and buttholes! Sometimes vaginas too!"

Heavy Rain

• The relentless piss-taking of Heavy Rain's overall plot especially once David Cage's distinctive directorial quirks set in.
• Within minutes of starting the game, the two of them are reduced to helpless giggling over the awkward controls and the fact that Ethan Mars walks like a malfunctioning robot. Add to this the fact that Ethan is wandering around on the balcony in his underwear - in broad daylight - it's a wonder they were able to stop laughing long enough to get to the next section of the game.
• Early on, Mari notes that Ethan's wife is mourning for Jason even though Ethan took the full brunt of the oncoming car, and Stacy replies that "once you have children, your spouse doesn't matter anymore. [...] He's just a sperm donor at this point."
• The opening credits leave Mari overwhelmed with questions about all the children seen randomly playing in the street, along with a complaint that it's hard to feel sorry for Jason for blundering into traffic... only to suddenly end up even more bewildered by the repeated motif of complete strangers standing in the rain and staring teary-eyed into the camera.

  Stacy: Mari, it's Heavy Rain! The rain is just so heavy upon their existence!

  Mari: They keep having these weird artistic shots when one person's in the foreground, standing there, covered in rain...

  Stacy: But Mari! The polygons of the rain! Don't you see? Don't you see, Mari?

  Mari: [giggling] I don't...

  • Also during the credits, Stacy tries to get Mari in the proper mood of the game as she sees it by imagining a French guy smoking a cigarette - and in the very next shot, there's a guy sitting on the steps morosely smoking a cigarette ^note no confirmation that he's French, but given that several actors in this production were French, you never know, and Mari cracks up all over again.
• Upon seeing Ethan waking up in the rain with an Origami figure in his hand, Mari concludes that he's actually a Replicant.
• The duo's hysterical astonishment over Norman Jayden's ARI glasses, leading to giggled demands to know precisely when the game is set ^note 2011 and claims that "this is what Google Glass could have been!"
  • Eventually, this leads into a hilarious warning from Mari to avoid dating guys who own a collection of Oakleys sunglasses, citing it as a sure sign of said boyfriend being a complete and total tool. She also recommends that anyone in possession of an Oakleys collection change their ways while there's still time. For good measure, this segues into a skit in which collection owners end up seeing the Lets Play and then hurry off to the Oakley forums (AKA OakleyChan) to warn the members that someone's cracked the secret code of Masculine Douches.
• In a series-wide Running Gag, Stacy and Mari's growing amusement over the fact that almost none of the game's characters can correctly pronounce the word "Origami," instead mangling it into "Orrygammy." For good measure, the only character to get it right is Scott Shelby, who turns out to be the Origami Killer.
• The drama of Shaun's disappearance is promptly undermined by the slackjawed Thousand-Yard Stare Ethan pulls while suffering a fugue state - and again when he wakes up to find himself just about to be run over by a truck, prompting Stacy to declare "Heavy Rain: A Game In Which You Can Be A Complete Derp."
• Madison's introduction immediately results in a cavalcade of irritated questions over how rich Madison must be if she can heat her massive loft apartment to the point that she can just wander around almost-naked. This leads to further annoyance over the fact that Madison drinks glass-bottled sparkling water - or, as Mari puts it, "she's one of those people." Later continued at the motel, when Madison arrives on a classic motorbike and Mari comments "I swear to god, if she's a waitress, I'm gonna be pissed."
• The extended "stopped time" hallucination sequence at the train station prompts Mari to conclude that Ethan is, in fact, an X-Man.
• The two quickly declare Scott Shelby to be the only character in the entire game they actually like, later prompting them to theorize that he's actually an angel of some kind. Also, they remark on how disappointed they'd be if it turned out that Scott turned out to be the Origami Killer, citing the fact that his hands are too big to make origami figures. Guess who Scott turns out to be? For good measure, a commenter spoils the reveal for them well in advance, leaving them even more annoyed at the game's dodgy writing.
• In a prelude to another extended critique of the game's treatment of Madison, Mari remarks "I hate to complain - actually I don't hate to complain, I love to complain..."
• Stacy and Mari completely lose it during the chase scene when Miroslav Korta starts throwing live chickens at Jayden, prompting the two of them to hysterically ask why live chickens would be for sale at a grocery store. ^note  It's actually a farmer's market, but that isn't made clear anywhere except the chapter menu.
• Sometimes, the awkward controls and rather unconventional camera angles in the game cause some particularly hilarious mistakes.
  Mari: [while trying to navigate Scott's apartment] How do I get to the front door? [opens a door] I'm in the bathroom! [everyone cracks up]
  Stacy: HOW DID I GET HERE?!
• After taking note of how the Origami Killer contacts the fathers of the missing kids and gets them to participate in his death traps in the hopes of rescuing them, Stacy and Mari wonder why the killer only contacts the dads... and come to the conclusion that it's because the dads would naturally insist that This Is Something He's Got to Do Himself and go off on a John Wayne-style lone wolf fantasy. If the killer sent his letters to the mothers, they'd go straight to the police and the killer would be caught immediately.
• Following at least two scenes of Madison treating Ethan's wounds - and apparently developing a relationship with him - after just meeting him a couple of scenes ago, Stacy and Mari come up with the theory that Madison is actually the Origami Killer and using the kidnapping of children in order to hook up with their fathers.
• While genuinely disturbed by the events of the Lizard Trial, Stacy and Mari immediately crack up when they realize that the next clue to Shaun's location was right under the table - meaning that Ethan could have skipped the entire trial if only he'd taken a split-second glance under the table he was sitting at, which he didn't.
• At one point, Mari ends up so flummoxed by the unexplained existence of Jayden's ARI glasses and withdrawal-induced hallucinations, she actually starts to wonder if the glasses are completely imaginary and Jayden's hallucinating the whole thing - if only because it makes about as much sense as anything else in the game.
• Part 13. All of it. More specifically, it kicks off with the reveal that, in order to convince Stacy and Mari that Heavy Rain really is good, fans have decided to spoil the entire story for them. As a result, Part 13 is titled "Complaining A Lot," and consists mainly of the two dissecting just about every bit of stupidity they've encountered so far, and pointing out just how badly the game's aged compared to other major releases from 2010 like Mass Effect 2 and Bioshock 2. Why is this funny? Because the game seems determined to prove their point: Mad Jack jumps Jayden before they can find any of the clues that would have normally set off the confrontation with him, NPCs talk like they've been indoctrinated, ten-year-old kids talk like thirty-seven-year-olds, a gravedigger remarks that A Storm Is Coming - in the middle of the pouring rain - and Lauren Winter talks like a malfunctioning robot, prompting laughter and mimicry from Mari.
• Once again, the dodgy controls and camera angles gets the better of Mari during an apparently very tense scene of two children playing at a construction site, in which her attempts to direct the viewpoint character through a narrow corridor end up slamming him into walls or missing the target entirely and sending him wandering off into side-rooms. After almost twenty seconds of fruitless attempts, Mari finally cracks up.
  God help me, Stacy, I can't get out of here! [roars with laughter]
• Though otherwise deadly serious, Mari's utter rage over the "female empowerment scene" of Madison being forced to strip naked at gunpoint before knocking Paco out with a lamp does offer up a few gems.
  • "We like consenting boobs! Is that too much to ask?"
  • Among other things, she points out the double standard that, where Madison has been harassed, assaulted and almost raped throughout the game, none of the male characters have ever been subjected to this brand of treatment. For example though Ethan was forced to slice his finger off , he didn't have to do so naked with the camera focusing on his asshole or erect penis while a female character laughed creepily in the background.
  • Also, she gets extremely annoyed at the choir of supporters trying to change their minds.
    Everyone's like, "ugh, you guys missed so much," and I'm like "Oh yeah? How many rape scenes did we miss?"
  • The follow-up scene, in which Madison torture Paco by crushing his balls with her bare hands... which, as Mari points out, looks as though Madison has reached too far and started fingering his butthole.
  • When Jayden arrives at the club moments later to interrogate Paco, Mari suggests that the only way the game can possibly redeem itself now is if Jayden strips down and gives Paco "the craziest lapdance of his life" in exchange for the info... only for Stacy to suggest that Jayden should make Paco strip down. Mari even suggests that the scene should conclude with the player using the motion controls to perform the helicopter dick. And just to put the cherry on the hilarity sundae, the two of them are carrying on this debate while pointedly ignoring the splitscreen shot of Paco being shot dead by the Origami Killer.
• The response to the infamous sex scene; due to the assorted memes surrounding Heavy Rain, Stacy and Mari were well aware that there was a terrible sex scene in the game during the previous chapters, and practically rejoice at the sight of it. While cracking over Mari's inability to work the awkward controls, they not only draw attention to the fact that Ethan and Madison are wasting precious time while Ethan's son is literally drowning in a gutter, but the fact that the wanted fugitive and the renegade journalist haven't even bothered to shut their motel room door while they screw! And in the aftermath, upon discovering that Ethan's thoughts indicate that he plans to leave while Madison is still asleep, the two just about die laughing.
  Stacy: So realistic that you can fuck a girl and then leave before she wakes up! This is real life!
  Mari: But he has to do it on his own, Stacy! He's a dad! He's a guy! Oh... my god. This is so stupid.
• Their utter bewilderment over the long, long red corridor leading to the final trial; Stacy compares it to walking through a vagina, while Mari compares it to the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey and they'll end up an alien fetus if they travel all the way to the end.
• Stacy and Mari's growing annoyance over the cops' - AKA "these assholes" - continuous inability to notice Jayden and the Origami Killer's epic duel to the death right above their heads.
• The CPR scene on Shaun.
  Mari: [thoughtfully] I wonder if I can fuck this up...
  Stacy: Oh Mari.
  • For good measure, the game deliberately makes it look like they really did fuck it up, fooling them for a minute. Also, the two point out that, given that he's been sitting in filthy water and on the verge of drowning for the last few days, Shaun is probably going to die anyway - and given all the improperly-treated injuries he's suffered over the course of the game plus the "poison" he's taken, Ethan isn't long for this world either.
• Madison's "Big Damn Heroes" moment.
  Mari: NOW I'M BATMAN, BITCH!
• Given that the game didn't bother to explain much about the ARI glasses and the only evidence on the subject can be found on the internet, there's a lot of confusion over Jayden's "good" ending.
  Mari: My personal headcanon is that he goes to rehab and he's fine. Or eyeball rehab.
  Stacy: My headcanon is that this game doesn't exist.

Fahrenheit INDIGO PROPHECY

• This foray into David Cage's first game does not mince words: the first line in the Let's Play features Mari making fun of the fact that the main menu uses the term "new movie" in place of "new game." After an entire playthrough of Heavy Rain, the two are more than familiar with Cage's directorial quirks, and are fully prepared to take the piss out of it in earnest.
  • On a similar note, the opening tutorial features David Cage actually introducing himself to the players so he can teach them how to use his demented control scheme. At first, Stacy and Mari can only laugh helplessly. Then Mari briefly seems to think that the controls aren't as troublesome as those of Heavy Rain... only for Cage to introduce the ability to control the camera. After several horror-stricken seconds, Mari promptly takes back everything she just said and wonders why the hell the director has such difficulty with the simple act of setting up an intuitive control system.
  • In the end, Mari states that David Cage is good at ideas for game mechanics, but he's not good at stories. Or characters. Or events. Or humans.
• During the intro, upon hearing Lucas' Cliché Storm monologue about how he was "just another pawn, living my pawn's life," Mari cracks up and speculates that the speech feels like the end result of someone taking a bunch of dramatic monologues and having a computer splice them into a single script.
• The duo still hasn't forgiven Heavy Rain for cutting or ignoring the explanations for Ethan's blackouts, Jayden's ARI glasses and Madison's nightmares - the fact that Ethan and the Origami Killer were meant to possess a psychic link being a popular sticking point. As such, while waiting for the possessed Lucas to slowly finish murdering the guy in the bathroom, sarcastically remark that there's probably going to be an entire storyline missing from the game but there'll still be clues left over from it.
  Stacy: And then characters were psychically linked. Wait, no they weren't! Just kidding!
• After witnessing Tyler taking a leak in the bathroom crime scene, Mari provides an open letter to "men with penises who go to the bathroom and don't wash their hands," during which Stacy tries to play devil's advocate and Mari hammers down on men touching their sweaty penises then not washing their hands. For added comedy, she tries to continue this speech, only to get tripped up by the weird controls and disruptive camera angles, prompting her to let out a snarl of "UUUUAAAAAGH! This guy..."
• In one of the game's many, many bizarre moments, Lucas is attacked at his workplace by an army of giant ticks. Mari snarks that this is just the end result of a really bad case of the crabs, while Stacy can only speculate as to what the hell everyone else in the workplace thinks is going on - eventually leading to the suggestion that Lucas really needs an intervention. For good measure, it's clear that the two of them are starting to give up on the idea of Lucas as a sane man pitted against supernatural forces and are officially writing him off as schizophrenic.
• Any point where the two impersonate David "Emotions" Cage.
  Stacy: [as Tyler works out] I want to make them feel emotions! I want to make them all feel like lazy pieces of shit while playing this videogame!
• From the same episode, Carla and Tyler have a "friendly" boxing match that becomes so violent it crosses the line into assault, to the point that Stacy and Mari worry that Tyler is going to end up with a concussion. Quite apart from the growing incredulity of the duo, there's a point in which Carla goes so far as to give him a full-strength kick in the nads - whereupon Mari interrupts herself with a shriek of "OH MY GOD, HIS PENIS!"
• The... encounter with the stereotypical Chinese bookseller, during which Stacy and Mari get very annoyed at the racism, order David Cage to shut up when Tyler attempts to lampshade the fact that this is an obvious videogame quest, and end up getting continuously tripped up by the camera angles. Then it turns out the bookseller was just in disguise, much to Mari's relief.
• Once again, a spoiler is revealed to them in advance - except where it got them even less invested in Heavy Rain, in this case it actually gets Stacy and Mari excited about the game. The spoiler? Getting to punch out the Internet.
• After being forced to participate in an extremely dodgy target-shooting minigame in order to get answers out of a reticent detective, apparently so Carla can "prove" herself, Stacy and Mari irritably remark that the only way to impress the guy is by showing him feminism, "because feminism is shooting people."
• The "poltergeist attack" sequence:
  • First of all, Stacy and Mari crack up at the ominous choral music accompanying the Oracle's sudden appearance, and immediately start dramatically mimicking it.
  • Then, once all the furniture in the apartment starts throwing itself at Lucas, Mari hits one of the logical problems of the button-prompt setup: because of the giant transparent Simon Says displays that are superimposed over the screen during action sequences, the player can't actually tell what's going on in the story, because averting your attention from the aforementioned Simon Says button prompts wiill mean risking a game over. As a result, Mari doesn't know what the hell is going on in this sequence, meaning Stacy has to explain it for her.
  • Also, Stacy's description when Mari asks if anything interesting is going on:
    He's ducking to avoid a bunch of bullshit. He needs to clean his house, really. I think the demon's just trying to help him out: "you need to move these boxes, here, let me help you..."
  • From here, the two are so bored that that they eventually end up extending the Alternate Character Interpretation to Paranormal Activity, speculating that the ghost just wanted to get rid of Micah because he was such an abusive asshole, eventually leading to Stacy and Mari mimicking the ghost: "HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOUUUUUUUUUU!"
  • Also, when the apartment door turns out to lead to nowhere and the entire apartment begins collapsing in on Lucas, the two begin cracking up, remarking that the plot really isn't doing a good job of convincing them that Lucas isn't actually insane - once again bringing up the fact that Lucas somehow believes he was possessed by a demon and yet doesn't believe in god.
  • At a loss to explain anything that's going on, the two jokingly fall back on David Cage's now-infamous emphasis on emotions in storytelling by proclaiming "L'emotion," and "emotions are happening."
• When Carla's neighbour invites himself over to share a bottle of wine with her, Stacy and Mari are immediately convinced that this is a booty call and get rather excited by the prospect of seeing another terrible sex scene - and later worried that this going to result in another scene of a female character getting sexually assaulted. However, it turns out that the neigbour is gay and just wanted a friendly chat. Eventually, the duo have to stop the game for a minute and explain that they're not disappointed in the guy's orientation, but in the fact that they're not getting another crappy sex scene. This is what Heavy Rain has done to them.
• The Tarot card sequence. Already annoyed by encountering another example of David Cage's weird mysticism, Mari cracks up because the first card they draw is Death. ^note In real Tarot, this isn't necessarily a bad thing
• In part 11, the game really hits its weirdness stride when Lucas randomly manifests superpowers in order to fight off the police in a very Matrix-esque fashion, and Mari is immediately reduced to helpless giggling as a result.
  • Stacy follows up by singing Duel Of The Fates as Lucas dramatically fells the remaining cops with slow-motion kicks and backflips.
  • And then... this happens.
    Police Officer: Stop or I'll shoot! Don't move, asshole!
    [Lucas runs straight at the officer]
    Mari: Now I'm from The Maxtr-
    [The cops open fire, and Lucas literally dodges the bullet a la Neo]
    Mari: [howling with laughter]
    Stacy: [laughing] ...oh my god...
    Mari: He literally just Matrixed it! [laughs even harder]] WHAT? WHAT?!
• Things only get more confusing when Lucas starts experiencing visions of dead people telling him to search for answers in Mayan culture, only to be attacked by statues of angels - prompting Mari to declare that they're in an episode of Doctor Who and the Weeping Angels are back. Also, the two are so simultaneously bewildered and bored that they just start talking about their two differing approaches to Alien: Isolation and whether or not you can return games anymore - before eventually deciding that the angels represent David Cage's famous emotions. Eventually, after more in-game gibbering about superpowers and Mayans, Mari gives up and declares that Lucas is just crazy.
• After hearing that it's -5 degrees Fahrenheit (-20 Celsius) and dropping in the game, Stacy and Mari immediately get into an argument over the extremes of temperature they've experienced in the real world; in fact, the two are so uninvested in the game that they actually stop for about seven minutes to squabble about windchill, polar vortexes and arctic air... and place bets over the results of their fidings. And a caption appears on the screen saying "This is the sort of thing Mari and Stacy fight about."
• In further off-topic conversations, Lucas' attempts to hide out in his girlfriend's apartments prompts the duo to compare the matter to an episode of Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry?... and then Stacy brings up an incident where she said this herself, in which "Brandon fucked up the pesto." Basically, Stacy's husband was being encouraged to help out in the kitchen by blending up a batch of pesto, with all the ingredients measured and prepared in advance, only for Brandon to press the ingredients down into the blender with a wooden spoon... while the blender was running. As a result, the spoon was completely ruined and the pesto was immediately filled with wood chips. Thankfully, Stacy's murderous expression prompted Brandon to clean everything out and try all over again.
  • And then Stacy and Mari have to start playing again, right at the very moment that the totally not-insane Lucas begins speculating that homeless people are spying on him. Cue some very exasperated grumbling from the duo.
• Upon encountering the expert on Mayan culture at the museum, Stacy and Mari are already bracing themselves for the worst, with Mari sarcastically remarking that David Cage is really going to handle this business with all the cultural sensitivity they've come to expect from him. Then, after a long nonsensical ramble from the professor, the two stumble upon an artifact that's actually been based on a real-world Mayan calendar - an artifact the museum identifies as a sacrificial altar. Mari is so enraged that she ends up getting a game over... and she's even angrier when Stacy discovers that the artifact is actually Aztec in origin.
  • Also, the two of them are clearly getting fed up with the game's hullabaloo over Mayan supernatural powers by now. At the start of the museum visit, Mari responds to the professor expecting them by saying "He's a Mayan, they can read minds." Later, when Lucas gets hit by a car and has to ride around on the hood, Stacy points out that he would have broken his shins in the impact, only for Mari to remark, "No, we're okay: Mayans. Mayans, Stacy don't you get it? We have superpowers because we're Mayans."
• The sheer level of boredom achieved in the following chapters, to the point that they sarcastically point out that the beeping of the Simon Says really brought home how "exciting" the spirit chase between Lucas and the Oracle is.
• Mari's utter disappointment over Carla not being able to arrest Lucas after it looks like he's about to give her the option, even though nothing he says makes sense even within the context of the game.
• Upon finally discovering the location of the Indigo Child in a nightmare, Lucas wakes up shirtless and is comforted by a half-naked Carla. Stacy and Mari are immediately annoyed, not just because he appears to have shacked up with the detective who wanted to arrest him less than ten minutes after his girlfriend died, but because they missed the terrible sex scene.
• Stacy and Mari are more than a little taken back at the fact that the nun at the orphanage doesn't stop Lucas from entering the building... but all that is left behind when Lucas finally finds the Indigo Child and says... this.

  Lucas: I've seen you in my dreams, you have to come with me!

  Stacy: [horrified scream]

  Mari: [hysterical laughter] Stacy...

  Stacy: "I've seen you in my dreams!!!"

  Mari: "You have to come with me, little girl!" [laughs]

• And then the unintentional hilarity of the rooftop battle with the Oracle leaves the previous incident in the dust. Already having difficulty taking the story's Mayan Magic bullshit seriously, Stacy and Mari are reduced to gales of laughter by the sight of Lucas and the Oracle's mid-air duel; quite apart from the fact that this is yet another instance of David Cage shamelessly cribbing notes from The Matrix, apart from the fact that Lucas has pulled even more unprecedented powers out of his ass for this fight, Stacy and Mari have lowered the volume on the in-game music, meaning that climactic battle is conducted in dead silence except for the increasingly-ridiculous sound effects. All these factors and more end up leaving Stacy and Mari in hysterics, to the point that they are left almost incapable of speech.
  • Also in this scene, Mari speculates that the whole debacle is all in Lucas' head, and in reality he's running around on a rooftop and fighting with nobody like Star Wars Kid, all while the Indigo Child stands off to the side wondering what the creepy-looking pedophile who just kidnapped her is doing now.
  • Another casualty of the lack of volume: not long after Lucas finishes punching thrown bricks out of the air, he and the Oracle get into a remarkably under-animated fist-fight; this already looks pretty stupid, but because the duo have turned the music down, it's clear that the punching sound effect sounds like a tennis ball being bounced off a wall. Again, Stacy and Mari go into hysterics.
• Not long after, the two finally get to meet the Internet, AKA the Purple Clan - a glowing wireframe monster who represents an heretofore unmentioned A.I. uprising. Stacy and Mari are overjoyed.
  • The moment it's mentioned that Indigo Child will soon have the power to "have the answer to all questions", Mari immediately remarks "42."
  • Then the Internet tries to kill Lucas with a Mind Rape-inducing beam of energy, and Mari has this gem in response.
    No! No cat memes! Don't show them to me! CAT MEMES! AAAARGH! HE'S SHOWING ME CAT MEMES, STACY!
  • And then Lucas escapes by blasting through the wall to safety.
    Stacy: [mimicking the Kool-Aid Man] OH NO!
    Mari: [cracks up]
• At one point in the meeting with the Invisibles, Carly finally asks what the Chroma actually is. Mari is very quick to respond: "It's an Internet browser."
• When the Invisibles explain that they need to get the Indigo Child to a Chroma source before she wastes away and dies without ever revealing her final secrets, Stacy and Mari are immediately confused:

  Mari: We've got like eighty years before that happens, right?

  Stacy: Why would she waste away and die?

  Mari: ...She's a girl.

• After being directed to the temporary shelter where Lucas and Carla can finally have their terrible sex scene, Mari is immediately eager to see the "fuck tent," only for them to find that it's actually part of an abandoned train carriage left in the subway - or, as Stacy puts it "an Orgy train."
• The long-awaited terrible sex scene.
  • As with Heavy Rain, the two protagonists do not even bother to shut the door.
  • It's not long before Stacy and Mari start pointing out the logical problems: Lucas and Carla just met a few days ago, Lucas' real girlfriend died just a few days ago, and Lucas himself is a reanimated corpse. And then Carla decides to kiss him.
    Carla: Frozen. Your lips are like ice.
    Mari: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    Stacy: Oh my god...
    Carla: I love you, Lucas.
    Stacy and Mari: WHAT?
    Mari: It's fucking Twilight!
    [cut to the actual sex]
    Stacy: Oh god! She's fucking an ice-dick right now.
• Bored with Lucas' final battle with the Orange Clan and the Internet, Stacy and Mari begin discussing the fact that AJ has terrible flatulence and needs to be given special tablets... that were actually meant for treating bad breath. Stacy asks if they're supposed to be used as suppositories, and Mari replies, "Yeah, I want you to sodomize my dog." This leads to a bit of back-and-forth over who's had the weirder idea, until Mari cheekily remarks that you can tell how much they care about the game right now. And then they continue talking about the dog's farting even over the Oracle's defeat.
• While dissecting the bonus features, the pair uncover a making-of video featuring a possessed Lucas murdering the victim at the start of the game. As both Stacy and Mari note, it ends up looking rather suggestive due to Lucas straddling the body while stabbing it, and inexplicably arching his back and spreading his arms wide at the moment of death. This actually leads to Mari repeatedly faking an orgasm in an old-man voice, resulting in horrified laughter from Stacy.

Skyrim Romance Mod

• The discovery of the scrotum-editing sliders in the character creation screen, and the growing bewilderment of Stacy and Mari that ensues.
  Yaw, pitch and roll? Are we sailing a boat?!
• During the initial escape from the dragon, Hadvar's walking animation glitches out and leaves him zooming around like he's on roller skates, which results in him quickly being compared to a character on a Disneyland ride. Mari eventually admits that the only way to fix this bug in the system is by getting Hadvar naked and having him fuck someone.
• The two discover that the mod makes it possible to strip dead opponents completely naked, resulting in uproarious laughter when they move one of the bodies and notice that the penis moves realistically - though when seen from the front, this is blurred out, and when seen from the back, it's censored with a zuchini.
• Upon discovering the game's options, the two are left absolutely baffled: first there's the skill summaries in the "sex diary" which describe the female player character's "vaginal proficiency"; then there's the animation toggles, which come complete with a whole list of sexual positions that Stacy and Mari cannot make head nor tail of, eventually leading Mari to laughingly ask if Stacy's vaginal proficiency is "unskilled."
• The "What Have You Done" incident.
  • At one point, Mari uses one of the mod's "sex spells" to have sex with Bishop... only for Karnwyr to wander into her line of fire. Mari is immediately left screaming in horror while Stacy can only laugh hysterically at the sight of the human player character fucking a wolf.
  • The on-screen text from this time - unrelated to all the sex - does not help: "Karnwyr's nose touches your hand, waiting to be petted."
  • And in the end, Stacy's first coherent words are "What have you done?!"
  • For good measure, they warn AJ not to look.

• In their first podcast of 2016, Mari and Stacy give The Order: 1886 the dubious honor of "best game if you don't pay attention anything that they're saying and doing and just look at them and insert a lot of sexual tension."
• Mari utterly freaks out after Stacy unwittingly kills a virtual ballerina in a VR game.
• After talking seriously about the morality of killing in Rise of the Tomb Raider, they completely abandon it and spend the rest of the game gleefully killing everyone they can and talking about how much fun murder is. Might also be a Take That! to the idea of Murder Simulators.
  • Likewise Stacy's theory that the reason the Deathless Ones never left their city, even though it would have gotten very boring in Kitezh, is that they were all having an orgy.
• In Resident Evil Village, they start to entertain the possibility that Ethan is just on a bad acid trip at Disneyland. Alternately, the village is what Disneyland looks like after COVID.
  Mari: There's just a giant woman who moved into the Haunted Mansion while everyone was gone.