Fanfic: Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure
Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure
is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
fanfic by Yonasomun.
The story is designed as a parody of various forms of bad fanfiction, and to assist in that goal most of the story is filled with Lemony Narration
. Because of this, "the author" as referred to on this page does not refer to Yonasomun, but rather to the fictional persona of his which narrates the story. Said persona has a great hate for Fluttershy, and writes in a style which could be described as "Beige Prose meets Captain Obvious
The main thing differentiating the story from a more traditional Troll Fic
is that lampshades are hung over everything, including having a Fourth Wall Observer
pointing out the flaws in the story every chapter or two.
It now has a sequel, Twillight Sparkle's awesome adventure in Sweden
This fanfic contains examples of:
- And Your Little Dog Too: Luna killed Twillight's pet in magic kindergarden. And blamed Twillight's brother so she would hate him until Luna killed him.
- Anti-Hero: ADMIRAL Awesome is this at first, before he devolves into a Nominal Hero.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: "And there’s n evil entrances living in the forest who does evil dances and worships Satan and play bad videogames."
- Fluttershy's list of offenses in her introductory paragraph.
- Awesome McCoolname: ADMIRAL Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon.
- Back from the Dead: Enemy Boss Leader.
- Also Doctor Wwhhoves. Twice. Three times now as of the sequel.
- ADMIRAL Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon.
- This one is notable as the only one which has any explanation at all.
- Bad Is Good and Good Is Bad: The author managed to get the rating system backwards, so he's convinced that having a 2-star rating on his story compared to how even the most popular stories get 5-star ratings means that his story is way better.
- Bad News in a Good Way: Played for Laughs. A guard comes in, remembers Celesia's tendency to Shoot the Messenger, and then tells her exactly the same thing he would have otherwise except that he prefaces it by saying that it's good news instead of bad news.
- This seems to be the standard correct fashion to tell bad news to Celesia. King Gilda does it too at one point, with similarly successful results.
- Bat Deduction: ADMIRAL Awesome figures out the details of what's going on the moment he arrives in Equestria.
- Beige Prose: Most of the story is written in this, to hilarious effect.
- Best Served Cold: Enemy Boss Leader's original motive behind joining the Enemies.
- The Big Board: In the sequel, Princess-Queen Lulamoon has a war room in Ponyland Castle, with a "bg screen" in it.
- Big "NO!": Twillight's reaction to Doctor Whooves dying.
- Big "WHAT?!": Celesia drops one after being told that her guards failed to kill Twillight's friends and that they killed lots of elite elite guards.
- Blofeld Ploy: Celesia kills a random griphon in the room after a guard brings her "good news", because the news still makes her want to kill someone but the guard had specifically said that it was good news, so he couldn't be killed for it.
- Bound and Gagged: When Rainbow Dash is brought to Celesia, there are large chains all over her body and a towel in her mouth.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: ADMIRAL Awesome starts out his naming plan for the New Awesome Lulamoon Empire by saying he read the name New Lulamoon Republic in a fanfic.
- Bring My Brown Pants: Happens to Celesia when she hears ADMIRAL Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon's name.
- Buffy Speak: Characters tend to lapse into it whenever the author doesn't know the actual term for whatever he's describing.
- Butch Lesbian: Rainbow Dash is explained to be this because of her hair.
Rainbow Dash: I’m a lesbian and my name is Rainbow Dash.
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: ADMIRAL Awesome had managed to completely forget about having killed Enemy Boss Leader's family and friends by the time we learn about it.
- But Not Too Evil: Don't worry, the skull Celesia is drinking blood out of isn't a pony skull, so it's all fine. Even funnier since she's a Card-Carrying Villain most of the time.
- Captain Obvious: Characters' reactions to developments are frequently this, sometimes mixed with Department of Redundancy Department.
- Becomes a Ninja Prop when ADMIRAL Awesome pretends to be dying in a fashion so similar to previous, meaningless appearances of Captain Obvious that it can easily fool the readers too.
- Enemy Boss Leader reveals that the way to kill ADMIRAL Awesome is to shoot him in the head. Subverted when it turn out not to actually work though.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Queen Celesia definitely qualifies.
- Character Development: Rainbow Dash wants some after realizing that everyone else is treating her as a Flat Character.
- Chew Bubblegum: Said by Applejack just before their fight with the guards.
- Conspiracy Theorist: ADMIRAL Awesome would rather believe that the President of Amarican is controlled by evil Martian deepsea fishes than that he would, of his own free will, refuse to give him any money or medals.
- Contrived Coincidence: Pinkie Pie finding a hidden elevator leading to Celesia's throne room. Thoroughly lampshaded.
- Comically Missing the Point: ADMIRAL Awesome's response to learning that he failed to save the world was to be horrified... that he wasn't getting any money or medals.
- Crossover: Celesia has a Tyrant from the Resident Evil series.
- Demonization: Fluttershy receives a lot of it. Exemplified in her introductory paragraph:
And finally there’s Fluttershy, who nobody likes. Especially not the author of this story!
She’s a coward, cries very often, has a silly voice, always apologizes for everything, has an ugly haircut, is afraid of everything, don’t understand sarcasm, don’t do anything useful, says too much, is a pegasus but can’t fly, turned Rainbow Dash into a baby
, became an evil demon-monster-alien-thingy, drugged Dash so that she could have sex with her, dragged Dash and Pinkie into a deadly nightmares that almost killed all of them and has a silly name
. God I hate Fluttershy! Why couldn’t they use Firefly instead or that earth pony that looks like her but is better?
- Department of Redundancy Department: Extremely regularly, and frequently combined with Captain Obvious.
She was about to die and then suddenly the explosions stopped.
“The explosions stopped.” said Twillight and turned around.
- The elite elite guards.
- "everything exploded in a big explosion."
- After being grabbed by the gay snake, Rainbow Dash is terrified at its assertion that it was going to make her gay, despite the story having already hammered in that she was lesbian.
- "That would be self-suicide."
- Deus ex Machina: ADMIRAL Awesome's appearance in Chapter 3.
- The arrow to the knee that the new lead guard takes before he can shoot Twillight.
- Twillight notices a hatch in the ground with a ladder in it inside a broom closet which helps her avoid a space shark.
- Slenderman's appearance to save Rainbow Dash from the gay snake.
- ADMIRAL Awesome's appearance at the end of the Last Part.
- Dies Wide Open: Lampshaded in Chapter 3.
He was now dead because his eyes were open.
- Dissimile: "The Mane Six – minus Twillight Sparkle who was with Doctor Whoowes and Rainbow Dash who was in a prison and Fluttershy who is useless – still fought against the guards."
- The Ditz: The author...is not the brightest bulb in the box.
- Don't Explain the Joke: The author tends to do this any time he has the opportunity to.
Queen Meanie! Got it? That’s what Pinkie Pie said as the black fog pony appeared in that one episode it’s a nod to that episode. That makes it funny, even if this is a sad, sad story.
Got it? P. Resident = President. Just remove the dot and put the P before the R of the name. It’s funny.
- Electric Torture: This seems to be the main reason Celesia keeps Lulamoon around.
- Everyone Calls Him Barkeep: Enemy Boss Leader.
- Evil Laugh: Queen Celesia has one.
- Explaining Your Powers To The Enemy: Applejack yells that they're running out of ammo loud enough that the enemies can hear it too.
- Extra Eyes: The logical conclusion that can be drawn from Commander Killemall being described as having red eyes and black eyes in the same sentence.
- Failed a Spot Check: Twillight didn't notice that Celesia was evil until it was pointed out to her, despite its extreme obviousness based on the description immediately following said pointing-out.
- Flat Character: Rainbow Dash eventually starts to get highly annoyed that every other character is treating her as this by acting as if her only defining trait is being a lesbian.
- Fourth Wall Observer: Pinkie Pie. She spends a lot of time complaining about the quality of the writing and making Suspiciously Specific Denials about ADMIRAL Awesome's status as an Author Avatar Mary Sue.
- At one point she comments on the inaccuracy of the title of the current chapter of the story.
- Full-Name Basis: Somewhat invoked. ADMIRAL Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon is either referred to by his full name, or at bare minimum, as ADMIRAL Awesome.
- Funetik Aksent: Applejack uses it. Once.
“Nowa whera isa Twillighta? Sha was neva lad befoa.” said Applejack in her accent I’m not using again because it sounds silly.
- God Save Us from the Queen!: Queen Celesia is a Card-Carrying Villain of the highest order.
- Gratuitous German: Griphons randomly slip into it.
- Happily Even After: The guard who delivers Bad News in a Good Way is stated to live happily even after at the end of his scene.
- Informed Attribute: The Evil Enchantress's rhyming.
- And Fluttershy's uselessness.
- Kick the Dog: ADMIRAL Awesome's response to Fluttershy's attempted reconciliation is to accept her gift and then punch her again for no reason.
- La Résistance: The New Awesome Lulamoon Empire, despite the name, is this.
- Long List: The list of ponies below ADMIRAL Awesome just before he founds the New Awesome Lulamoon Empire
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Inverted. We go through the whole story thinking Celesia is Twillight's mother, but then at the very end her brother's ghost tells her that it's not actually true, and in fact she killed Twillight's real parents.
- Mama Bear: Fluttershy demonstrates this when ADMIRAL Awesome tries to send the Cutie Mark Crusaders to explore the Evarfre Forest, further reinforcing her state as "only in-character character".
- Meaningful Rename: Twillight Sparkle changes her name to Twillight Sparklier after becoming an alicorn.
- Mind Screw: Anything involving the Retcon of Owlowiscious.
- Large portions of the Evarfre Forest plot arc too.
- "There were so many Alicorns in the sky that the sky was dark light at night without moon or stars."
- Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Commander Killemall.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: ADMIRAL Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon is a vampire saijin admiral Jedi knight.
- Non-Specifically Foreign: One of ADMIRAL Awesome's enemies is identified as speaking in "a funny foreign accent".
- No Indoor Voice: Luna.
- Nominal Hero. ADMIRAL Awesome becomes this after he comes back from the dead.
- Non-Indicative Name: The Final Chapter is, in fact, the 2nd-last chapter. The Final Chapter 2 is the last chapter.
- Noodle Incident: While the gay snake was turning Rainbow Dash gay, one bit of description was "But this time no turtle could save her".
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Rainbow Dash's escape from Ponyland Castle.
- Only Sane Mare: Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, in two very different ways. Fluttershy is the only character whose personality isn't completely warped and who doesn't worship the metaphorical ground ADMIRAL Awesome treads on, as well as being the one most likely to come up with good plans (which are then ignored because the author doesn't like her). Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, is a Fourth Wall Observer in the story and therefore is the only one who realizes that the whole thing is just a terribly-written fanfic.
- Previously Stuff That Happened Before: Parodied at the beginning of the Last Part, which quotes a large collection of earlier bits from the story which are all completely meaningless out of context. In addition, it actually has one scene which actually wasn't in the story before: Luna killing Twillight's brother.
- Rage Against the Author: Pinkie Pie's final summation has definite shades of this.
- Red and Black and Evil All Over: Commander Killemall is an "evil looking stallion with a black coat, red eyes, a red mane and black eyes" and a "cracking skull with bleeding eyes" for a Cutie Mark. Guess which side he's on.
- Red Shirt: Background ponies, lacking Nominal Importance, are not only this, but are also treated as this by the good guys, who send them out on any task which seems too dangerous to risk someone important on.
ADMIRAL Awesome: No you are a main character. It’s better to send in a unimportant background pony.
- Retcon: An amazingly Mind Screwy case. Angel is there instead of Owlowiscious "because he's death and retconed". Despite this, the story continues to mention him, and all of the characters are aware of the fact that he was retconned.
- Trixie is identified as Twillight's boyfriend at first, but in Chapter 5 he's referred to as Twillight's husband.
- The sequel once again reverts this, as it eventually opens with Twillight and Trixie's wedding.
- It should be noted that, on the real show, Trixie was female.
- Revenge Fic: Fluttershy's uselessness gets extremely heavy emphasis in the story.
- Rouge Angles of Satin: Pretty frequently.
- Shaped Like Itself:
“I’m Admiral Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon, leader of the U. S. Army Saijin Brigade.” said Awesome Yonasomun Armageddon, leader of the U. S. Army Saijin Brigade.
- Shock and Awe: Celesia can shoot lightings out her eyes.
- Shoot the Hostage: ADMIRAL Awesome does this to signify the beginning of his journey from Anti-Hero to Nominal Hero.
- Shoot the Messenger: One of Celesia's favorite activities, although she normally confines it to bearers of bad news.
- At one point she even shoots a bearer of good news, just because the news involves Fluttershy.
- Shoot the Shaggy Dog: Happens when the author drops a spaceship on the Tyrant.
- Shout-Out: One of the Don't Explain the Joke moments references Cupcakes.
- The Long List of ponies ADMIRAL Awesome makes a speech to includes Nyx and Littlepip.
- A later speech by Twillight Sparklier thanks another bunch of ponies, including Dusk Shine.
- Skewed Priorities: Rarity tends to not care about the circumstances surrounding ugliness, only its presence.
Rarity: Darling that blood totally doesn’t match with your mustache.
- Space Is an Ocean: Complete with space sharks.
- Steven Ulysses Perhero: President P. Resident.
- Stupid Evil: Celesia's alignment. Exemplified when she impales King Gilda for no reason beyond "Because… I’M EVIL BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
- Stylistic Suck: Yep.
- Suicidal Overconfidence: Lampshaded in Chapter 4 during the fight with the space sharks.
Like everyone in this story the sharks attacked anyway because they didn’t know better.
- Symbol Swearing: Rainbow Dash engages in some when she's brought to Celesia
- Take That, Critics!: The Villain Team-Up at the end includes "all the people who down-rated this story".
- Talk About the Weather: This is ADMIRAL Awesome's reaction to finding the President of Amarican in his tent.
- Talks Like a Simile: The narrator veers into this territory pretty regularly. His choices of analogies tend to be pretty hilarious.
- That Makes Me Feel Angry: This occurs as part of the general Beige Prose Meets Captain Obvious aesthetic of the story.
- The Chosen Mare: Twillight.
- The Empire: Celesia Evil Loser.
- The Load: Fluttershy, according to the author.
- The Men in Black: Except that the author doesn't know the proper term for them, so they're always referred to in Buffy Speak.
one of those guys with black suits, black pants, black sunglasses, black shoes and the funny things the ear who looks like those guys from Matrix and always standing next to the president.
- They prove their Badass nature by being the only characters who ADMIRAL Awesome can't beat in a fight.
- Title Drop: Lampshaded in Chapter 3 when ADMIRAL Awesome makes his first appearance as a Deus ex Machina.
- There's another one, similarly lampshaded, in the Last Chapter.
- Vagueness Is Coming: President P. Resident does this while describing Enemy Boss Leader's plan.
P. Resident: And he has an evil weapon that will do bad things to people if you don’t stop him.
- Villain Team-Up: Every villain the author could think of ended up being behind the final door in Celesia's castle, which implies that they're all working together.
- Walking Wasteland: Anyone who sees the Tyrant immediately falls unconscious or has a heart attack.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Celesia's nuclear weapon arsenal in the Evarfre Forest is brought up once and then ignored for the rest of the story.
- The same thing happens with the weapon that only The Chosen Mare can wield. It's the MacGuffin for the first half of the story, and then completely ignored in the second half.
- With Catlike Tread: Queen Celesia and her allies still didn't know where the heroes were despite their having just blown up all the towers of the castle Celesia was in.
- Word Salad Philosophy: The "philosophical banter" between Twillight and Luna.
Twillight: You think you can change fate?
Luna: WE CHOEST OUR OWNEST DESTNY!
Twillight: Money don’t makes you happy.
Luna: BUT EVERTHING ENDEST.
Twillight: If a tree falls down and no one is around does it still makes a sound?
Luna: WHATEST WALKS ON THY FOUR LEGEST IN THOU MORING, ON TWO AT DINNER AND WITH THREE AT NIGHEST?
Twillight: There’s no try. Do it or not.
Luna: BUT THERE’S ALSO NOTEST SPOONEST.
- Would Not Shoot a Civilian: ADMIRAL Awesome is pretty annoyed when a Punch Clock Villain guard makes a Heel-Face Turn and promises to become a civilian, because it means that Awesome wasted a perfectly good Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
- Writers Cannot Do Math: Either that or Commander Killemall can't do it.
Sure it was very dangerous and there was a 100% chance that he could dye
but the reward was totally worth it.
- Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: Luna's preferred mode of conversation. She tends to put an emphasis on the "Butcherede" part.
Luna: HAIL KING GILDA OF THE GRYPON. THY HEART THOT TOU NEEDOST MY HELPTH?
- You Have Failed Me: Celesia's modus operandi.
- You Keep Using That Word: It seems like, while the author knows the definition of "lesbian", he managed to keep adding to it in his head until it became pretty different from the actual meaning. He doesn't think lesbians are capable of crying, for instance.
- When Rainbow Dash, the "lesbian" pony, is in the Evarfre forest, she gets grabbed by a "gay snake" who squeezes her so hard that it threatens to turn her gay. Apparently being gay means you stop being a lesbian.
- Further supported by the description of Scotaalo:
a Pegasusususu filly who was a big fan of Dash and wanted to be such a great lesbian as her idol (but couldn’t because she hadn’t the right hair color)
The sequel contains examples of: