Double Standard Abuse Female On Male: Anime and Manga
In Koharu No Hibi, Akira spends a large part of the series knocking around and punching Natsuki, to the point it makes up a huge part of their friendship and is Played for Laughs the entire time. The twist? Akira is a man and Natsuki is a girl. Akira beats Natsuki over the head, slams her into walls and leaves her a bloody mess constantly and it is all Played for Laughs without fail.
What isn't Played for Laughs, is the female lead Koharu's desire for Akira to beat her. Koharu is a crazy extremely obsessive Stalker with a Crush and wants to be involved in every part of Akira's life, which to her mind includes any and all actions with his friends. Akira is completely disturbed by this.
Inverting this was one of the main points behind Amazing Nurse Nanako. In his very first scene, Dr. Kyouji Ogami explains an operation to Nanako that he intends to put her through. Towards the end of the scene, Nanako clings to his leg, before he stomps her twice in the face and leaves. And that's just the first of their interactions; Ogami is not a nice man. At all.
In the hentai manga "Anette XXX" one of the sisters evokes this trope saying: "A sister can tease her brother if she wants too".
In Axis Powers Hetalia, Hungary sometimes beats male nations senseless more than once. Justified in that the male nations she's angry with correlate to real-life nations that Hungary didn't have good relations with at the time (for example, one point when Hungary beats the shit out of Prussia represents the War of Austrian Succession, in which Hungarian armies did fight the Prussian forces). Subverted in one instance, where God orders Hungary to beat France with her skillet and while she is tempted, she is still conflicted as she knows it's wrong to attack France for no reason, and only beats him when he flips her skirt and exposes her underwear.
Likewise, Belarus' attraction to her older brother Russia, which includes wanting to get rid of people in her way, is not portrayed as okay, and him being scared of her is genuinely heartbreaking. No wonder Russia likes his older sister better.
Shouko from Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu is one of the most extreme cases of this, routinely tazing Yuuji, sticking her fingers in his eyes so he doesn't even look at other girls, and doing things like breaking his arm and calling it "holding hands" or breaking into his house because she felt like it (and then burning his porn), among others. What's more, the other characters actually believe they make a good couple and try to pair them together, and at the end, even Yuuji seems rather accepting of the idea. If Yuuji even did to Shouko 10% of the things she does to him, people would deride him as a monster, but Shouko can keep doing this with no backlash whatsoever. Sure, it might be a comedy, but it's taken to a level you feel more pity for the guy than anything else, and Yuuji is far from accepting the idea of being with her. That entire episode dedicated to putting them together had him trying to run away from her. Every time he tried to flee from her and avoid Shoko resulted in his friends putting them together or framing him for stuff he didn't do only to make the situation worse. When the jerkass couple continued to make a fool of themselves, Yuuji was generally trying to get them to win the contest because his friends rigged it to the point where no matter what he did, they would get the right answer. It wasn't until the end of the episode where he changed his mind about Shoko because the jerkass couple continued to make fun of them both. Next episode, he's trying to run away from her. Final episode, his best friend sold him out to her and she forced him to sign a marriage contract. Stockholm Syndrome anyone?
Not that it justifies the actions she takes, but episode 11 of Season 2 shows their backstory and why she's so obsessed with him. She was a Lonely Rich Kid, and he was the only kid who talked to her, but he says he talked to everyone the same. He then stands up against some bullies who are jealous of his intellect, and they attempt to frame and humiliate him by writing that he cheated on his tests, but Shouko tries to stop them. They end up attacking her instead, and Yuuji, feeling a lot of guilt for this, steps in and attacks the bullies. Later, he arrives home, tries to downplay his saving Shouko, and his mom gives Shouko her full support in the girl's efforts to marry him.
The other girls often abuse this trope as well, such as Himeji and especially Minami towards Akihisa. While its always Played for Laughs, some of their actions fall into Dude, Not Funny!, such as when Minami breaks Akihisa's back because he didn't say "I love you" correctly to her. Granted, he's an Iron Butt Monkey and just walks it off, but if the roles were reversed, he'd probably be thrown in jail and the key be thrown away.
In Bleach, there are several cases of this. Almost everyone of either gender in Bleach is insanely violent in their free time, and it gets played for laughs. Guys are still almost always the victims.
Shinji of the Vizards always gets the crap beaten out of him by Hiyori for no other reason than her being pissed off and it's always played for comedy. She showed the same behavior towards Kisuke Urahara back when she served under the 12th division, and it's likewise Played for Laughs. Notably however, it's partially subverted in that Shinji occassionnally does fight back without it being portrayed as drama (though he is usually less violent to Hiyori than she is to him), and Uhara was implied to be clearly able to fight back but merely didn't bother because he was too nice for that and felt it wasn't worth it.
Aizawa is also a possible victim of this, coming into work with a bandaged head one day. When asked about it, he says he and his wife were in a fight, and the other men barely register that he's been physically injured by his wife.
Detective Conan: A unique variant pops up in Lupin III vs. Detective Conan. The Femme Fatale Fujiko of Lupin's series finds out that Conan is actually a teenager who's been turned into a child, so the film ends with us hearing the sounds of her "examining" him to find "the secret to rejuvenation." This is entirely in-characer for Fujiko, and we only get the audio, but imagine how unsettling this would have been had a Gender Flip been involved. Even when Conan is at his normal age, Fujiko is still much older than him.
Subverted with Celty and Shinra in Durarara!!. Sure, Celty punches Shinra and wraps him up in her shadows all the time, but it is outright stated that Shinra actuallyenjoysthe abuse and tends to goad her on for it. It's a very symbiotic relationship.
In Fruits Basket, Machi is incredibly aggressive when she gets embarrassed (and she's shy so she gets easily embarrassed) and her half-brother Manabe gets it the worst. Once when Manabe gave her a embarrassing and rather forward compliment she punched him in the face through a bag of meat and Yuki looked onward calmly stating he told Manabe he'd be hit if he said that. Even his girlfriend was more concerned with the meat than Manabe, but she kinda has an obsession...
Manabe even lampshades it at one point, when he comments "I'm risking my life playing the stooge here." It was said in regards to Yuki, but he seems to have the same goal for Machi (getting them both out of their shells).
Kagura's abuse of Kyo is played for laughs in the series, even though it's ridiculously over the top.
To a slightly lesser extent, Uotani towards Kyo as well. She picks fights with him whenever she feels like when he's otherwise not bothering her at all. Kyo explicitly states after having his chair kicked by her because "it's easy to kick" that he doesn't retaliate BECAUSE she's a woman.
Winry from Fullmetal Alchemist beats Ed with a spanner (one time even a chainsaw) every time he breaks his automail (that's often). This is a subversion however as Edward is the Butt Monkey (often for being a genuine Jerkass) and everyone abuses him for it. Most glaring is Major Armstrong who repeatedly crushes him with vicious bear hugs one time even opening a large, bleeding stomach wound and once even creepily stalked him and happily admitted it. It's perfectly okay however because he's doing out of love.
Major Alex Armstrong suffers major abuse at the hands of his sister, the badass General Olivier Armstrong. She sees him as weak, worthless, and a disgrace to their family name, and either verbally abuses him or beats the crap out of him every time they see each other. There is an air of professionalism to this, as they're both members of the military and Olivier is her brother's superior, but her bullying of him is far meaner than anyone under her command (which says a lot). We later find out that there's more to it: The reason she views Alex as a failure is because he succumbed to post traumatic stress during the Ishvalean massacre and lost his will to fight.
Girls Bravo: Kirie constantly brutally beats up her best friend Yukinari for being an Accidental Pervert (In Episode 1 she punches and knees him in the face, and he bleeds profusely and later kicks him so hard his head hits the edge of the bathtub) and it's Played for Laughs. For the most part, she never gets called out on her behavior and nobody ever stops her as she's beating him up. It's also shown that the abuse Yukinari has taken over the years has left him severely psychologically damaged, he has developed an allergy to women because of the way she was treating him. But instead of keeping her away from him the others just ignore her violent behavior, the story continually shows her behavior to be ok and you are supposed to feel sorry for Kirie, because the man she has abused and bullied for years does not love her.
Averted in the 5th Kara no Kyoukai movie where Tomoe's parents are mutually abusive to one another, and Tomoe's mother hitting his father in the back of the head with a skillet and killing him before killing herself and Tomoe in a murder-suicide is played as horrific and wrong on all sides.
Kaze no Stigma - Averted. Ayano often tries to slap or burn the more powerful Kazuma but he usually blocks it. In fact, its almost genderflipped in that while Kazuma never hits Ayano, he is able to tease her, be a jerk to her, or incite her jealousy with impunity. It is HILARIOUS to watch.
Love Hina - Keitaro gets horribly abused by every female he encounters, every second scene ends with Keitaro getting hit by one of the girls, either unfairly or for no reason, sometimes forcing him into seeing flesh just so they can abuse him. And he blames himself for it. Naturally, it's Played for Laughs.
The manga's a bit better about this, where Naru especially is actually called on her behavior at least once, Keitaro eventually learns to avoid these attacks, and the girls stop doing them eventually.
Ken Akamatsu seems to have largely outgrown this trope during the course of his Long RunnerNegima!. Considering Negi's only about 10 years old and the girls are fifteen, he probably thought it would look like child abuse, though in one story arc where Negi was aged up to 15 or so, he suffered a few Keitaro-esque smacks in the face himself. Later, when Anya, Negi's best friend from home, comes to visit him, she's able to beat him up as much as she wants (with flaming punches and kicks, no less) since they're the same age.
Daichi gets smacked around by Yoriko in episode 3 after he jokingly teased Haruka about wanting to dissect her (in Poke in the Third Eye fashion) while they were alone.
Hiyori gets to beat up Manabe with impunity, which is rather audacious considering she was responsible for sending him to the hospital with serious injuries earlier, escaping all punishment for that caper because she was "sorrowful".
Haruka's mom, generally considered a colossal bitch, also assaults Manabe rather viciously in public without any repercussions, and it is treated as vaguely heartwarming that she still cares enough about Haruka to come to her defense (never mind that she herself is treating Haruka far worse than Manabe ever would).
Kyo Kara Maoh! It's apparently perfectly 0k for girls to hit the king himself and then remark that 'men need training' (with the implication being that they are there to serve women). Apparently a certain technically minded woman thinks it is 'enlightened' to jump in right after Yurri saves the day and slap the crap out of him. What? What the hell did he do wrong?
In episode 2, the girls chase after a dog in the bath house naked. They then catch it when it runs into Yamato's room. After some initial embarrassment and screaming, the next scene shows Yamato all bruised up as they continue chasing after the dog.
In MÄR, it's not so much abuse as it is sexual harassment, but Dorothy pretty much harasses Ginta on a daily basis against his consent (often he's extremely annoyed by this, but too nice of a guy to really call her out on it), and the only person bothered by it is Snow, but only because she's jealous because she is crushing on him pretty hard. This is always Played for Laughs but whenever Jack or Nanashi try to do anything perverted (or sometimes even when they AREN'T trying), they get chewed out bad.
Jiro from Mayo Chiki! is forcefully beaten up by his sister for "wrestling practice" every morning, and as a result develops gynophobia similarly to Yukinari from Girls Bravo from it. He's also attacked regularly by Subaru as well, yet its entirely Played for Laughs, and no one seems to mention anything about it.
MM! has an out for this: the main character is canonically a masochist.
In Mysterious Girlfriend X, Urabe's treatment of Tsubaki is gradually moving from mild aloofness and weirdness to mind-games that have an increasingly abusive element to them. In the later chapter she adds physical abuse as well, when she almost bites Tsubaki's finger off after agreeing that he could place it in her mouth. However she did this mainly to finally make him forget about another girl he couldn't stop thinking about, despite wanting to. And it worked.
Sakura, compared to her mentor seems to be holding back for most of the time as her strength actually packs an even more powerful punch. Let's just hope Naruto doesn't sign a death wish like his master once did.
The result: Jiraiya had 6 broken ribs, both arms and legs broken as well as several ruptured organs for trying to peep on Tsunade. And he counted it as one of 2 moments where he nearly died. The other time? A surprise attack by four-tailed, 2nd-level bijuu cloak Naruto.
Kuromi constantly does this to Baku in Onegai My Melody, usually with the use of a paper fan, or with her own hands.
The Pokémon anime has a few examples of this- meant to be non-romantic, but considering the series's huge shipping base, it could be viewed as romantic:
Jessie commonly hits her teammates James when she feels he is incompetent, and a similar situation for her treatment of her male (humanoid) Pokemon Meowth.
Rumiko Takahashi frequently makes use of this trope. Case in point, three of her best-known series — Urusei Yatsura, Ranma ½ and InuYasha all make heavy use of this in the name of comedy. It seems that she has heard of the flak she was getting for this, though, as the trope is avoided in her current work, RIN-NE.
In Urusei Yatsura, Ataru Moroboshi is constantly harassed by the women in his life. In particular Lum uses her electricity to shock him five times a day (due to her being insanely possessive of him) and Shinobu and Ryuunosuke beat him senseless with their super-strength and martial-arts respectively. This is a case where everyone has a decent reason for treating him this way, though: Ataru isan enormous pervert (and barely at all chivalrous) who is always pissing people off, even knowing the kinds of responses he'll get by doing so. To cap it off, Ataru has an absurdly high tolerance for punishment and shrugs off his abuse frighteningly fast.
Ranma ½ uses this so much that for early '90s anime fans it was considered the Queen of this trope. The series is notorious for how the interactions between Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo many times boiled down to "Ranma says something insulting, purposefully or accidentally, and Akane gives him a Megaton Punch, boots him (through the roof need be) into LEO, slaps him, hammers him over the head with a random object or otherwise physically abuses him in response". Partially justified by a series where everyone and their grandmother seems to practice Supernatural Martial Arts, until one notices that it's only the boys who are allowed to be beaten up for comedy's sake. The only girl in the series who ever gets abused is Ranma himself, perhaps under the belief that being mentally male he can take the pain.
And in InuYasha, she largely dispenses with Megaton Punches, and presents instead a simple scenario: a half-demon, wearing a cursed necklace which allows their master to force to the ground the one who wears it with a single word and as the series goes on this ability is often used for even minor transgressions. Given the page you're reading, no points for guessing that it's a male half-demon, a female who controls the collar that frequently uses it over romantic angst, and that it is played for comedy. There's also the frequency with which Sango hits/slaps/bludgeons Miroku for groping her (before their engagement) and flirting with others (after it).
Deconstructed in Operation Liberate Men. It is perfectly acceptable for women in the Para Kingdom to abuse men for perceived wrongs, or even for no reason at all. Nobody but Sooha, a foreigner, even bats an eye at the murdered corpse of a man. However, Sooha often ridicules the women for their abuse and allowing such a mindset to exist.
Subverted in Rune Soldier Louie with Louie and the girls, at first it looks like this trope is being played straight but later on in the series after Jeanie was hitting Louie again he actually fought back. While Melissa and Merrill were worried the fact that Louie fought back is still mostly depicted as a good thing causing a bit of Character Development for both Louie and Jeanie.
Averted in The Sacred Blacksmith. After Cecily beats up Luke for witnessing her wardrobe malfunction, he's very upset with her, and she's ashamed of what she did.
In Sakura-sou no Pet na Kanojo, after Nanami moves into Sakura Hall, Sorata sees her sleeping by the table in the dining room. He puts a blanket on her, but she wakes up, and punches him in the face, and accuses him of making her move in to take advantage of her. He then reminds her where he found her sleeping.
Sekirei, being a harem series at heart, has several running jokes concerning TsundereMagical Girlfriends using their powers on their love interests. It's treated as comical, even when people are being electrocuted or thrown across the room.
Averted in Sensitive Pornograph with Mari. Ten days after his wife's accidental death, he's still badly bruised. His childhood friend Gouzou is worried and somewhat shocked when he hears of the domestic abuse. Also Played for Drama and heartwarming as Mari's little twin sons ask Gouzou to not hurt Papa.
Seto no Hanayome subverts this trope. Sun almost never uses violence against Nagasumi, and when she does it's almost always accidental and she apologizes afterward. Lunar does beat on Nagasumi quite a bit, but she's almost called out on it. None of the other girls attack Nagasumi at all. In fact, the only cases in which this is played remotely straight are Lunar's violence towards her father (who's all but literally Made of Iron and is nearly impossible to actually injure) and Ren's violence towards Gozaburo (who pretty much always deserves it, as it's usually a comeuppance for things like trying to kill Nagasumi). The violence is also mitigated by the fact that in this show, Slapstick Knows No Gender and pretty much any violence between the cast members of any gender is Played for Laughs.
Averted in the "Ogress" backstory arc, where the abuse is very much not intended to be funny.
Also, one of the characters the Sket Dan help, Koma-chan, has a tendency to violently shove or throw people when she's embarrassed. Considering she's insanely strong, this can have painful results, so much so that the group start referring to it as the "Koma-Cannon". Guess who's always on the receiving end? You guessed it, Bossun.
Sonic X vented Amy Rose's Tsundere quirks Up to Eleven, her temper lending to her pulling out her hammer on people for much more trivial reasons (usually Sonic). The first season finale also involved Rouge handing Knuckles a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown because his egotistical grumbling was getting too irritating (even considering Knuckles' jerkass tendencies, this was pretty brutal).
Actually, she only gave him a Cranial Eruption for insulting her, and he hits her right back. By the end of the episode it's quite apparent that they have been equally injured.
In To Aru Majutsu no Index this trope is played for laughs with Touma, who almost always get a punch to the face when some girl who know him get pissed.
Index is known for biting Touma.
Then there is Mikoto, who could probably take on an army by herself and uses every single bit of that power on him. Was it not for his absurd reflexes and his Power Nullifier ability he would have been fried alive in more than one occasion, and they both seem to know it. She was shown to be horrified the one time she actually hit him when he was trying to stop her from getting herself killed by Accelerator
WORKING!! double subverts this one. The series tells us Inami is not supposed to hit men and is bad when she does it, yet they not only almost always show her violence Played for Laughs, when her habitual "target" Souta gets fed up and calls her out on this, everyone treats him as the bad guy and acts as if Inami didn't deserve his calling out, thus firmly planting the series on this trope, period.
Louise in Zero no Tsukaima. Many fans found it horrifying even without the gender-flipping. Many bailed on the Louise/Saito pairing after one incident has her beating on him with a whip until he passed out bloody and bruised. Somewhat subverted that on at least that occasion, it wasn't really played for laughs. Louise's peers were very disapproving of that, but were unable/unwilling to do anything.
Black Lagoon: Early on, Revy is verbally and physically abusive to Rock, going so far as to shove a gun in his face. However, this is never portrayed as in any way acceptable, and is used as a clear signal of how utterly broken Revy is. After Rock stops just taking her shit and calls her out on what she's doing she mellows, though she still won't hesitate to smack him around when he does something stupid like mouth off to Balalaika.
Shizuru Kuwabara from YuYu Hakusho in how she treats her younger brother, regularly beating him up for the most trivial of reasons to the point that he is deathly terrified of her. Becomes true Fridge Horror when you realize where Kuwabara's desire to never fight with women comes from.