Posts from a darker timeline

There was this website I used to frequent, and it had a thread like this in the forums.

Basically write stuff like: "Dealing with the Twitter-TV Tropes merge rn" or "Google? They haven't used that name since Microsoft bought them out."

Reminder: Nothing in bad taste, please.

Edited by StewieGriffin34 on Mar 11th 2023 at 1:28:32 PM

I don't think anyone plays Minecraft anymore after Disney bought Mojang.

Edited by Topon on Mar 10th 2023 at 9:40:16 PM

Remember they had root beer? That Bill-69 that prohibits root beer sucks. Thanks Trudeau.

I used to play Pokémon games so much, but I just cannot play the newer real-time Action RPG installments ever since Square Enix bought Game Freak. They're too endlessly dark and feature explosion-filled warfare sequences that would not look out of place in a Michael Bay movie.

I hate it how Facebook and YouTube merged into one. Not really crazy about how I try to watch a video on FB and it lets me into YouTube. I mean, why can't I just stay on my Facebook app without it switching to the YT app, hmm?

Remember when we were trying to warn people that asking for non-game characters to be put in Smash was a bad idea? Yeah, those games are barely recognizable now.

I just got banned from uploading videos to YouTube because I said "heck" in one of them. I miss the days when YouTube Kids didn't rule the YT/Facebook site.

Edited by DrNoPuma on Mar 10th 2023 at 10:20:17 AM

Can Nickelodeon play something else than all-day marathons of Spongebob and it's never-ending line of spinoffs? I'm getting sick of that cash-sponge and it's getting staler and staler over time.

Edited by Owen23 on Mar 10th 2023 at 10:44:06 AM

That’s not far off from this timeline.

So Disney just announced Star Wars Episode XIV: The Two Emperors... and they got Joss Whedon to direct. Don’t have anything to say at this point. This is just the state of the franchise.

Gonna be honest, the internet has gone downhill since SOPA was passed in Congress.

So, Michael Bay is directing a new live-action movie based on My Hero Academia, and a brand new teaser trailer just dropped online.

(*Watches the trailer*)

What? There's too many explosions! Car chase sequences! Giant robots attacking U.A. High? The characters look nothing like the way they did in the show! And they completely butchered Mina's hairstyle!

At least the film score by Steve Jablonsky sounds cool.

Are you kidding me right now? Nickelodeon just killed off SpongeBob with the heat lamp in the new episode yet the show's still going with Patrick as the new protagonist? They could've ended it right there!

Edited by Topon on Mar 11th 2023 at 12:21:31 AM

The Emoji Movie has become one of the highest-grossing films of all time. Not even Marvel or James Cameron films came close to scratching what that movie made. It's even won the Academy Award for Best Picture. It's spawned several sequels that's gotten worse and worse in quality, but people still turn in droves to see it. Now we're about to get a spin-off movie with Hi-5 in the lead role. And if that's successful, Sony Pictures will buy Disneyland and feature Hi-5 as the lead mascot.

Can't believe they cancelled the Metalocalypse finale movie. 10 years since the cliffhanger we were finally getting the ending and it gets canned???

Disney has now finally bought out Warner Bros, their rival. And now they have merged into Warner-Disney.. When are you gonna stop buying out companies, Disney? What's next, Coca-Cola?

Bad news. Disney just bought Coca Cola. Can't have shit in maryland.

In other news, Universal Studios has just been acquired by Pepsi-Cola and now all their movies now have Pepsi product placements in them. In Jaws, instead of a shark going after our heroes, it's a giant can of Pepsi. Jurassic Park, where the T-Rex goes after the car? That's actually a giant bottle of Mountain Dew.

Edited by MatthewLMayfield on Mar 11th 2023 at 11:09:46 AM

Apparently another stupid Neo-Nazi cult claim they've found out how to revive people. Anyone wanna guess whether or not they're just lying, or actually believe themselves?

Too bad that any criticism of China is forbidden in media since they invaded one large part of the world. Winnie The Pooh is even banned from 100 countries as i'm writing this, and only Western dragons are allowed to be represented as threatening in media, that is just a bit too far. There is also that weird thing imposed on movie studios of a cute panda who speak positively of the CCP that must appear in any movie released in this country...

Apparently Rian Johnson has been announced for the director for the Legend of Zelda movie adaptation. Oh joy…

x8 Which Emoji Movie? The original or the live-action remake from Michael Bay?

I miss the time when people were just cancelled, by the way. As bad as it was, it's still better than the possibility of actually getting killed for a post or a statement from 20 years ago, whether you're famous or not.

I miss the times before superintelligent apes took over our planet and enslaved humanity.

I would have come up with something, but I'm going to have to be really cautious about what I say here.

Freedom of speech was repealed about a week ago, and I've already had two neighbours mysteriously disappear.

I wish I could've gone on a vacation to Japan before that meteor destroyed that entire half of the earth.