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I order a Boneless Pizza
The pizza guy breaks all your bones.
I sneeze really loud at the cinema.
A hurricane sweeps in and wipes out the theater.
I put books in the wrong place in the library.
The books add too much weight for the shelf to handle and it crushes you underneath it's weight.
I accidentally forget to say "you're welcome" after someone thanks me
Edited by VengefulBale on Dec 5th 2018 at 7:53:46 AM
An eavesdropping vampire who was counting on Exact Words to break into your house decides to burn it down instead out of spite.
I'm at the airport and I use Weasel Words to imply that a pregnant woman is instead smuggling via Fake Pregnancy — the idea is for me to instigate Overreacting Airport Security while maintaining deniability that I framed and slandered her.
Suddenly a plane crashes into you. Not anyone else in the airport, not even the woman. Just you in particular, even the crew on board are fine.
I hastily edit in a misdemeanor before my clan shames me
Edited by Trip on Dec 5th 2018 at 11:56:11 AM
Your clan knows of your near mistake. Your clan wants vengeance!
I swear in a church.
God himself strikes you down with divine lightning.
I put a banana peel in the entrance to my school as a prank
You're forced to march barefoot over a floor strewn with Legos.
I trained a flock of birds to poop on freshly washed cars.
The birds become a public nuisance, and as you reputation is already destroyed, you being know as the crazy bird person, you are banished from town. The birds increase their bombing practices in retaliation. A hunter gathers all the birds together and puts your family at gunpoint. You have to shoot all the birds or else your family dies.
I step on someone's toe whilst dancing.
They step on you with so much force you fall through the Earth and burn up in the Earth's core
I stay up late all night then sleep in the next day.
That throws your internal cicada rhythm off so badly that you are incapable of properly sleeping throughout the night for the next week, and when you do sleep, you never feel like you slept enough. To make your sleep deprived matter even worse, you seem to be seeing monsters in the closet and under the bed.
I break the reader's Willing Suspension of Disbelief in a story I wrote.
So the readers break you.
I put the Star wars holiday special on the TV.
George Lucas himself comes to your house, destroys it and kills you.
I tell the president's guards that they look like an ape.
Edited by VengefulBale on Dec 9th 2018 at 10:51:35 AM
The guards look at each other, whoop and howl and stomp, before beating you to death with improvised rocks.
Turns out you were born with a curse that makes everything and everyone hate you, you die alone and hated.
I make a TvTropes account
The punishment for creating a sockpuppet is being turned into a sockpuppet.
I overfeed a cartoon bunny until it bursts.
You get forcefed with rabbit guts until you burst and turn into Ludicrous Gibs.
I cited TV Tropes for school projects.
Your teacher does not believe this is a real, informative source, unreliable, similar to Wikipedia because anyone can edit it. So because of that, you get a horrible score which brings down your average and denies you further education.
I attempt to explain the plot of a story to someone, and use tropes in my description of it.
You are deported to North Korea.
I chew several pieces of gum at once.
A bully pries open your mouth and sticks the gum in your hair.
I'm Putting the Pee in Pool.
Someone dunks you in a pool filled with nothing but urine for the whole week.
I don't say hello to a friend when passing by.
Now the only thing you can say is “Hello”.
I murder The Freelance Shame Squad.
I starve you until you emaciated, then throw you outside during the polar vortex.In CHICAGO.
I touched myself in front of a goat.
Edited by KeironCioran on Feb 6th 2019 at 3:24:45 AM
You get bumrushed off a cliff by a herd of goats. Hope you like your fall with a side of broken ribs!
I didn't get to submit my assignment in time.
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